Screenwriter Community |
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by George Dumas (zancorr@hotmail.com)
Rated: 
Genre: Drama
User Review:  
A murder in a college town, but who did it?
This is just the begining of the story, read it and let me know whodunit!
This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
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APARTMENT 135 (WORK IN PROGRESS)
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FADE IN:
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EXT. OUTSIDE A TWO-STORY APARTMENT COMPLEX - NIGHT |
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Screen is showing the night sky. It is almost dusk, with a
nearly full moon. There is some slight morning fog, but the
stars are still clearly visible in the sky. |
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The camera comes down from the sky to focus on the two-story
apartment complex below. The grass surrounding the complex
is covered in morning dew, and CRICKETS can be heard. |
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The grass outside one particular apartment is covered with
empty red plastic cups and beer bottles. The street closest
to apartment 135 has a few cars parked on it, and is visible
from the front door . |
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The camera starts toward the front door, but then veers to
the right, and then around the corner. There is a window
leading into a dark room. The camera goes into the room
through the window. The only light in the room is moonlight
coming in through the window. |
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At first it seems that the bedroom is empty, except for a
bed and a dresser. There is an alarm clock on the dresser,
and it reads 4:35 AM. Getting closer to the bed, it is now
obvious that someone is laying in it. |
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It is GRETTA, brutally slashed and stabbed, blood still
gushing from the open wounds. She is still alive, but
cannot make a sound. Tears are rolling down her face. As
we look at her face, we hear a door slam, and then a car
start and drive away. |
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CUT TO: |
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Rewind current scene and house party sequence (next scene)
with freeze frame on certain parts during the opening
credits. |
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CUT TO: |
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EXT. DOWN THE STREET FROM APARTMENT 135 - NIGHT |
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GRETTA, a young 19 year old college freshman and her best
friend JULIE, also a 19 year old freshman step out of
Gretta's 2005 Ford Mustang convertable. |
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2.
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GRETTA
My mother called me today, asking
when I was getting home with
Louis. |
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JULIE
You didn't tell her that you
wern't going till tomorrow? What
did she say? |
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As they walk down the street towards apartment 135, Gretta
reaches into her purse and takes out her cell phone. |
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GRETTA
I told her today, she didn't seem
too happy, but oh well. Shit.
Look how many messages I have! |
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JULIE
Probably from Joe... "How come
your not here yet? Get your ass
here! We want to get drunk!" Or
something like that! |
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GRETTA
Yeah, you're probably right. |
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She puts the phone away without checking the messages. They
get to the front door, which is slightly open. There are a
few people outside smoking and drinking. A guy wearing a
hooded sweatshirt drunkinly waves to the two girls. |
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DRUNK
(slurring)
Grettie... Julette... hey... howz
it.. goin? |
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JULIE
(to Gretta)
Hurry up, he's getting a little
close, and he smells. |
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The two girls push open the door and step inside the
apartment. |
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CUT TO: |
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INT. HOUSE PARTY - NIGHT |
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Music blasting on the stereo - Black Eyed Peas, "Let's Get
Retarded." Smoke fills the air, and empty plastic cups and
beer bottles are all over the place. |
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3.
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People are dancing to the music, while others are standing
in groups and talking, and there is a couple sitting on the
COUCH. Everyone seems to have either a cigarette or some
alcohol with them. |
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JULIE (to Gretta)
(sarcastically)
Do you ever feel bad that we get
invited to all these parties, and
the other girls in the dorms have
to sneak in? |
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GRETTA
Are you kidding me? Of course I
don't feel bad! |
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Julie gives Gretta a look of approval, then the two begin to
LAUGH. |
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GRETTA
Come on. Let's go get something to
drink. |
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JULIE
You want beer before you see Joe?
That's the first! |
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They walk through the LIVING ROOM towards the KITCHEN. As
they start their walk through the living room, we can see
heads in the crowd turning to gawk at both Gretta and Julie. |
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Before they reach the kitchen, they are stopped by MARK and
JOE. Joe and Mark are both 22, and have been best friends
since Jr. High. They are both typical college students,
into sports, girls, and partying. |
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JOE (to Mark)
Hey Mark! Look who it is! Go grab
us some beers, will ya? |
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MARK
Sure thing Joe. Ladies. |
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Mark bows his head toward Gretta and Julie when he says
ladies. |
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JULIE
Just some water for me Mark, I'm
the designated driver tonight. |
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Mark walks towards the kitchen to grab the drinks. |
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CUT TO: |
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4.
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INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT |
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Mark grabs four Corona's out of the refrigerator and sets
them down on the counter. He also grabs a lime from the
refrigerator, and then pulls a knife from a drawer.
We then see Mark use the KNIFE to cut the lime into four
sections. He places one in each bottle of beer. He wipes
up the mess, but leaves the knife on the counter. |
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CUT TO: |
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INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT |
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GRETTA
So how have you been Joe? |
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Without even responding to her question, Joe walks toward
Gretta and they begin to make-out heavily. Julie rolls her
eyes, exhales loudly, and crosses her arms. |
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Mark returns from the kitchen holding four bottles of beer,
two in each hand. |
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JULIE (to Mark)
Look Mark, just in time for the
show! |
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MARK
Looks like someone wants some
action! And look Julie, they don't
even need a buzz goin' before they
go at it! |
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Gretta and Joe stop kissing, and Gretta turns and gives Mark
a dirty look. |
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GRETTA
Fuck you Mark! Give me that beer! |
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JULIE
Mark, I said water! |
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JOE
You really think you're leaving
tonight? Besides, it's just one
beer! |
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JULIE
I guess it won't hurt to have one
beer. Is that ok with you Gretta? |
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5.
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Gretta, still holding on to Joe with one arm and the beer in
her free hand, looks at Julie. |
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GRETTA
It's fine with me, I'm getting
shit-faced anyway! |
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The four of them walk toward the couch in the middle of the
living room, where a young couple are sitting and talking. |
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JULIE
One's gonna do it for me. Where
am I gonna sleep, since I'm
staying here? |
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MARK
I know where you can sleep! |
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JULIE
Umm, I think I'll take the couch,
thanks for the offer though Mark. |
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JOE
(patting Mark on
the shoulder)
Shot down! |
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MARK
(stuttering)
Right, that's what I was talking
about. The couch. What were you
thinking? |
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JOE
(turning toward
the young couple
on the couch)
If you aren't me, get your ass off
my couch! |
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GUY
What the fuck man? Me and my girl
were here first! |
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Mark, Julie and Gretta join Joe near the couch. |
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MARK
And he said move your ass! You're
in my house, drinking my beer! Get
the hell off of my couch! |
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6.
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GIRL
Come on, let's just get out of
here. This party sucks anyway. |
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JOE
What the fuck is up with the
freshman this year? |
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JOE
Oh not you baby, you're the only
cool freshman! |
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Julie shoots Gretta a dirty look and gets up from the couch.
Mark follows her, leaving Joe and Gretta alone again. |
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The party continues, people come and go, drinking, smoking,
dancing continue. At around three in the morning, Joe, Mark,
Julie, and Gretta are the only ones still awake. There are
a couple people passed out on the floor. |
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JULIE
Mark, get those people out of
here, I want to get some sleep. |
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MARK
You want me to drag them outside? |
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JOE
Yeah, can you? Gretta and I are
gonna go to 'bed' now... |
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Joe and Gretta stand up. |
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GRETTA
(stumbling)
Joe, I really am just going to
sleep. Nothing else tonight,
sorry. I just need to sleep. And
drink some water. Shit, I'm
drunk. |
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JOE
Allright baby, I'll get you into
bed. Then I'll help you take out
the 'trash' Mark. |
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Mark stands up, and Julie passes out on the couch. Joe and
Gretta disappear into the hallway. Mark starts to wake up
the people passed out on the floor. Joe comes back in and
helps Mark get the stragglers out of the apartment. |
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7.
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Joe stands at the open front door, while Mark heads towards
the back of the apartment. |
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JOE
I'm gonna go for a walk, you cool
Mark? |
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MARK
Yeah it's cool. I'm goin to bed,
see ya in the morning. |
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Joe turns out the light in the living room and steps out the
front door. We then follow Mark down the hall. He goes into
the bedroom on the left, and we go through the door to the
right, were Gretta is passed out on the bed. |
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FADE TO: |
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INT. YOUNG GIRLS BEDROOM - NIGHT |
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SCENE IN BLACK AND WHITE |
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The bedroom is decorated as any young girls room would be,
with white wooden furnishings, with pink and purple
butterflies decorating the walls. A young GRETTA is lying
in bed, sound asleep. Moonlight comes shining in through
the window, illuminating Gretta's peaceful face. |
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FATHER
(whispering)
Gretta... |
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A sliver of light from the hallway starts to appear over
Gretta, as the door is slowly open. Gretta turns around,
pretending to be asleep, but the noise of the door has
awakened her. |
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FATHER
(whispering)
Gretta... come here baby... |
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Gretta is now facing away from the door, squeezing a teddy
bear tightly in her arms, and we can see tears slowing
forming in her eyes. Next to her we can see a digital alarm
clock that reads 4:35 AM. |
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FATHER
I'm not gonna hurt you baby. |
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Her FATHER is now at the side of the bed, we cannot see his
face, just from his chest down. He is only wearing a pair
of boxers. |
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8.
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As he reaches an arm down towards the bed, the images washes
out completely white, then... |
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FADE IN: |
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EXT. OUTSIDE OF APARTMENT 135 - DAY |
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An ambulance is parked on the street, with the lights
flashing and siren blaring. A body bag is being carried out
of the apartment on a stretcher. |
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Joe, Julie and Mark are standing outside of the apartment,
watching the authorities work. Police officers are going in
and out of the apartment. |
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JULIE
(crying)
Oh my God... oh my God... |
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Joe is just standing next to Julie with a blank look on his
face. Mark is sitting cross legged on the ground in front
of the other two. |
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JULIE
Gretta is fucking dead and you
want me to calm down? Oh God! Oh
my God! |
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MARK
(standing up)
Hey - I said calm down. I know
Gretta is dead! Shit. |
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JOE
Shut the FUCK UP, both of you! |
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Joe walks a few steps away from Mark and Julie, and begins
to cry. Two beats. Mark walks over to Joe and tries to
console him. Julie is now off screen
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MARK
It's not your fault she's dead
man. Don't beat yourself up over
it. |
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JOE
What the hell do you know Mark? I
wasn't there, I should have been
(MORE)
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9.
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JOE (cont'd)
there. I could have stopped the
bastard who did this to her! |
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MARK
Joe. Now you need to calm down. I
know she was your girlfriend and
all, but she's gone. You need to
get over it. |
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JOE
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Who do you think you are, Dr.
fucking Phil? Stop telling
everyone how they should feel! |
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DETECTIVE (OS)
Excuse me, we will need you three
to come down to the station with
us. Now. |
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JOE
How can you be so fucking calm
Mark? Bastard! |
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Joe punches Mark in the face. Hear Julie SCREAM and then
appear on screen, along with the DETECTIVE, ISSAC HUDSON, as
they try to break the two up. |
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DETECTIVE
Into the cars. NOW. |
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Joe, Mark, and Julie each get into a different cop car, and
the cars pull away from the apartment. |
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CUT TO: |
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Following the cars to the police station. When the cars
pass by the PARK, we stay as the cars drive by. There are
two people, Gretta and LOUIS, Gretta's 22 year old, computer
geek, half-brother. They are arguing. |
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EXT. PARK - DAY |
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At a park on a cloudy day, with lots of trees and a path
that winds through the green grass. There is a wooden bench
occupied by Gretta and Louis. They are not looking at each
other. |
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LOUIS
Mom says you have to drive me home
this weekend. |
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10.
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GRETTA
I'm not bringing you home on
Friday. It can wait till Saturday
morning! |
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LOUIS
Come on Gretta. I have plans with
my friends on Friday ni- |
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GRETTA
(interupting)
And you think I don't? It's not my
fault your 22 and don't have a
car! |
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GRETTA
(standing up)
Do you want a ride home at all? |
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LOUIS
Fine. Whatever. Saturday morning.
I'll be at the dorms at 8. |
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Gretta starts to walk off screen. |
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GRETTA
I might be there, I might not. |
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Gretta completely exits the frame. |
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LOUIS
(under his breath)
Whore. |
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GRETTA (OS)
I heard that! |
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Louis is now sitting alone on the bench, visibly upset. He
pulls out a cell phone, and calls BRIAN, his 21 year old
friend back at home. Brian is also a computer/video game
geek, with red curly hair. |
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Brian speaking to Louis, but we can't hear his voice. Brian
says "What's up man?" |
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LOUIS
Bitch of a sisters not gonna take
me home till Saturday. |
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11.
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Brian speaking to Louis, but we can't hear his voice. Brian
says "That sucks man. What about our plans?" |
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LOUIS
She doesn't give a flying fuck
about me. Everything is always
about her! FUCK! I think I'm just
gonna have to go with plan B. |
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Brian speaking to Louis, but we can't hear his voice. Brian
says "So you really gonna go through with that? Be careful
man." |
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LOUIS
Hell yes. The little slut needs
to learn a lesson. I'll call you
when it's done. |
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Brian speaking to Louis, but we can't hear his voice. Brian
says "Be careful man. I'll talk to you later." |
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Louis hangs up and the screen goes black. |
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FADE IN: |
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INT. DORM ROOM - NIGHT |
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The small dorm room has two beds, two desks, a small TV, and
a microwave. On one bed sits Gretta, brushing her hair.
Julie is standing up in the center of the room. The two are
talking. |
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JULIE
So we're still going to Joe's
party tomorrow, right? |
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JULIE
(sitting down on
her bed)
But what about your brother? |
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12.
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JULIE
I thought you were supposed to
drive him to your parents house
this weekend. |
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GRETTA
Oh that. I told him I'd bring him
Saturday morning. He seemed
pretty pissed, but I don't give a
fuck! |
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JULIE
Why would he be so mad? It's not
like he has any friends back at
home. No offense, but your
brother is a dick. |
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GRETTA
(laughing)
It's only offensive that you think
it would be offensive! I grew up
with the bastard, remember? |
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MOVE OUT OF THE SMALL WINDOW IN THE DORM TO: |
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EXT. OUTSIDE OF APARTMENT 135 - NIGHT |
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A view of the open front door, with Joe standing in the
doorway. |
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JOE
I'm gonna go for a walk, you cool
Mark? |
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MARK
Yeah it's cool. I'm goin to bed,
see ya in the morning. |
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Joe turns off the light in the living room and steps
outside. He closes the door behind him. |
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CUT TO: |
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INT. POLICE INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY |
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In a small cramped room there is a table with three chairs.
One is occupied by Joe, one is occupied by the COP Issac
Hudson, and the other is unoccupied. There is a two-way
mirror in the room. |
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13.
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Hudson has a yellow legal pad and a pen on the table in
front of him. The legal pad already has been writtien on.
There is also an empty cup of coffee in front of the
detective, and a coffee stain on the officers shirt. |
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DETECTIVE
So you left the apartment? |
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JOE
Yeah, like I said, I wanted to go
for a walk. |
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JOE
(aggitated)
I told you. I went for a walk,
and when I came back, Gretta was
dead! |
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Hudson writes something down on his yellow legal pad. |
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JOE
(standing up)
Hey! She was my fucking life! Why
would I take that away! I didn't
fu- |
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DETECTIVE
(also standing)
Sit down Mr. Brightman. I never
accused you of anything. |
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JOE
Then what the fuck are you
writing! I swear, I didn't do
anything. |
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Tears start to roll down Joe's face. He sits down and trys
to compose himself. |
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DETECTIVE
Thank you. I'm just collecting
facts for now. No one is saying
that you killed Gretta. |
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Joe puts his head down on the table, and puts his hands on
his neck. |
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Hudson writes more on his legal pad. |
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14.
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DETECTIVE
So what happened next? |
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JOE
(brings his head
back up)
On my way back, I heard a car door
slam, and then start up, and take
off. I thought it was kinda
strange. |
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DETECTIVE
And why is that? |
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JOE
Cause the only people that were
still at my place was me, Mark,
Julie and Gretta. Gretta was
passed out, and Julie came to the
party with her. |
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Joe stands up in a hurry, very excited. |
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JOE
Mark's car is in the shop, and I
have the only set of keys to my
car. |
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DETECTIVE
I'm sure the car you heard was
from someone else in the complex. |
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JOE
No one ever parks on the street,
except for our friends when we
party! I'm sure I would have known
if it came from the parking lot! |
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JOE
(waving his arms)
It was Gretta's car! Had to have
been! |
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Hudson makes one last note on his legal pad. Then stands
up, while motioning for Joe to sit down. |
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DETECTIVE
I'll have an officer go and check
if her car is still there. I'm
sure it is. |
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Joe sits back down and exhales loudly. Officer Hudson
leaves the room, leaving Joe alone. |
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15.
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Joe starts crying again, and slams his fist down on the
table. |
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CUT TO: |
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EXT. GRETTA'S CAR - NIGHT |
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We see a car driving down the road, speeding. The sun is
peeking over the horizon, and we get closer to the vehicle.
The license plate says GRETTA on it, and is easily
recognizable as Gretta's car. Louis is driving it. |
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LOUIS
(on cell phone)
Dude! I did it! Plan B was a
success! |
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As he continues to speed through the neighborhood, the
traffic light ahead turns red. He continues to speed
through the red light. |
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LOUIS
Shit! Yeah, not paying attention,
I just went through a red light!
Fuck it! I just can't believe I
actually went through with it. |
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POV of Louis looking at the rear view mirror, cop car with
lights and siren on begin to follow him. |
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LOUIS
Damm it! I gotta go Brian. Cop
caught me going through the light. |
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After a pause, he closes the flip phone, and pulls the car
to the side of the road. |
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The cop car pulls up behind Louis, and the COP gets out. He
walks up to the drivers side of the car. |
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COP
You know how fast you were going
there son? Over 55 in a 25. I
wasn't gonna bust you till you ran
that red light back there. I'm
gonna need to see your license and
registration please. |
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16.
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Louis reaches over to the glove compartment very casually,
and returns with the registration for the car. He also
takes his wallet out of his back pocket and procedes to get
a drivers license out. |
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LOUIS
(sounding worried)
I'm real sorry officer, its
just... My little sister just
called me, and she was at this
party last nig- |
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We can hear static coming from the officers radio. |
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COP
One minute there partner - I have
to go check this out. Sit tight. |
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The sun is starting to come up higher over the horizon now.
We can see bright colors in the sky. |
|
|
| |
COP
(rushing back to
Louis)
Here you go. |
|
|
|
The cop throws the license and registration back at Louis
without even looking at it. The cop does an about face and
rushes back to his car. |
|
|
| |
LOUIS
(turing his head
toward the cop)
Whats going on? |
|
|
|
| |
COP
Gotta homicide. Takes precendence
over your speeding. Just take it
easy next time, OK? |
|
|
|
The cop car pulls away, and we see Louis in complete
disbelief and shock. He grabs his cell phone and makes a
call. |
|
|
| |
LOUIS
Dude! You're not gonna believe
what just fucking happened! |
|
|
|
The car speeds away, leaving a cloud of dust behind. The
dust fades away slowly, leading to the next scene. |
|
|
| |
17.
|
|
INT. YOUNG GIRLS BEDROOM - DAY |
|
|
|
SCENE IN BLACK AND WHITE |
|
|
We see young Gretta in her room, sitting on the floor,
playing with dolls. We also see a young Julie, playing with
the dolls as well. |
|
|
| |
GRETTA
(giving the doll a
voice)
Hello Julie! |
|
|
|
| |
JULIE
(giving her doll a
voice)
Hi there Gretta! What do you want
to do today? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
She is interupted by the door opening, and her brother Louis
charging in. |
|
|
| |
LOUIS
Look at these two little brats,
playing with dolls! Look Brian,
look! |
|
|
|
| |
GRETTA
Get out of here! I'm gonna go tell
on you! MOM! |
|
|
|
| |
LOUIS
You better shut it bitch! |
|
|
|
| |
JULIE
Hey! You can't say that! Thats a
bad word! |
|
|
|
| |
LOUIS
And what are you going to do about
it? |
|
|
|
Louis grabs the doll Julie is holding, and attempts to pull
the head off. Gretta and Julie are crying. |
|
|
| |
LOUIS
Come on Brian, grab another doll!
Take the heads off! |
|
|
|
18.
|
| |
FATHER
(coming into the
room)
Louis, stop terrorizing the girls. |
|
|
|
Louis's step-father walks into the room and takes the doll
out of Louis's hand, then smacks Louis accross the face. |
|
|
| |
FATHER
Out. Now. And bring your stupid
made-up friend Brian with you! |
|
|
|
|
Louis glares at his step-father, and then at Gretta. |
|
|
| |
LOUIS
(under his breath)
He is not made up. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The girls have moved to the corner of the room, huddled
around each other, still crying. |
|
|
Gretta's father walks closer to the two girls, and puts his
arm around them. |
|
|
| |
FATHER
Ok girls. You are O.K. now. I
got rid of him for you. |
|
|
|
|
CUT TO: |
|
|
| |
|
INT. POLICE INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY |
|
|
The same room where Joe and Detective Hudson were in
earlier, but now Julie is sitting alone in the room,
waiting. She seems shaken up. |
|
|
Detective Hudson enters the room, with a FULL cup of coffee
and a BLANK yellow legal pad. |
|
|
| |
DETECTIVE
I know this is going to be hard
for you Julie. How long have you
known the victim. |
|
|
|
| |
JULIE
Her name is Gretta. |
|
|
|
|
Hudson writes something on the legal pad. |
|
|
19.
|
| |
JULIE
Since we were eight. My family
moved in next door to hers. |
|
|
|
|
CUT TO: |
|
|
| |
|
INT. SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD - DAY |
|
|
|
IN BLACK AND WHITE |
|
|
A moving truck is in front of a house, and movers are
carrying furniture out of the truck. |
|
|
In the house nextdoor, a man is standing in the window in
the second story. We can only make out his face, but it is
clear this is Gretta's FATHER. |
|
|
We can see little Julie playing on the grass in the front
yard. She is dancing around in circles. |
|
|
|
CUT TO: |
|
|
| |
|
INT. POLICE INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY |
|
|
| |
DETECTIVE
How long after you moved in did
you start to play with Gretta? |
|
|
|
| |
JULIE
We became best friends right away.
We were in the same class at
school, and we lived nextdoor. We
were inseperable. |
|
|
|
Hudson writes some more on his legal pad, and then picks up
his coffee. |
|
|
| |
JULIE
But her brother Louis, now he was
a piece of work. I hated him,
about as much as I hate him now. |
|
|
|
As Julie talks about Louis, Hudson spills his coffee onto
his shirt. |
|
|
| |
DETECTIVE
(standing up)
DAMMIT! |
|
|
|
|
Julie looks away. |
|
|
20.
|
| |
DETECTIVE
Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. |
|
|
|
He puts the now empty coffee cup back on the table, and trys
to blot the coffee spot on his shirt with his hankercheif. |
|
|
| |
DETECTIVE
You may continue. You said
something about a brother? I
wasn't aware that Gretta had a
brother. |
|
|
|
| |
JULIE
Some detective you are! Yeah,
Louis is Gretta's step-brother.
He's kinda crazy, and we try to
stay away from him. |
|
|
|
|
Hudson writes another note on the legal pad. |
|
|
| |
JULIE
Gretta was supposed to drive him
back home this weekend. |
|
|
|
| |
DETECTIVE
Can you wait here a minute. Let
me go and run this by the cheif.
I'll be right back. |
|
|
|
|
He gets up to leave. |
|
|
| |
JULIE
Wait! I'm not done talking to you!
Don't you wan- |
|
|
|
| |
DETECTIVE
(finishing her
sentence)
want to hear the rest, yes, I do.
But give me a minute. |
|
|
|
|
He leaves, and closes the door behind him. |
|
|
|
CUT TO: |
|
|
| |
|
INT. STEPFATHERS ROOM - DAY |
|
|
|
IN BLACK AND WHITE |
|
|
Through the front window, can see Julie playing in the
grass, dancing in circles, while movers are moving furniture
into the house nextdoor. |
|
|
21.
|
Gretta's stepfather is alone in this room, staring out of
the window, but only his face is visible to the outside, he
is standing behind curtains. |
|
|
He is wearing nothing but boxers, and it is obvious that he
is masturbating. |
|
|
|
CUT TO: |
|
|
| |
|
EXT. OUTSIDE OF A RUN-DOWN APARTMENT COMPLEX - DAY |
|
|
Two police cars with lights on are sitting outside of a
run-down apartment complex. This is the home of LOUIS. One
cop is standing by the two cars, and two others are at the
door of an apartment. |
|
|
| |
COP
(banging on the
door)
Louis, open the door now, or we're
gonna break it down. |
|
|
|
A small crowd of people have gathered on the sidewalk,
trying to figure out what is going on. |
|
|
The two officers at the door break the door down, and brage
in, guns drawn. |
|
|
|
CUT TO: |
|
|
| |
|
INT. LOUIS'S APARTMENT - DAY |
|
|
The studio apartment is small and messy. There is no room
to walk, the floor is covered with all of Louis's things.
There is no sign that anyone has been here recently, except
for the TV being on. |
|
|
| |
COP
Nothing here 'cept for this TV and
the shitty Jap movie playing on
it! Let's get the hell outa here. |
|
|
|
The two cops leave, but we stay and focus on the TV, which
is playing RASHOMON. |
|
|
|
FADE TO BLACK |
|
|
The following lines should be read in the original Japanese
voice from the film RASHOMON. Also an english translation
should play over the japanese sound track. |
|
|
22.
|
| |
VOICE (V.O.)
If men don't trust each other,
this earth might as well be hell. |
|
|
|
| |
VOICE (V.O.)
Right. The world's a kind of hell. |
|
|
|
| |
VOICE (V.O.)
No! I don't want to believe that! |
|
|
|
| |
VOICE (V.O.)
No one will hear you, no matter
how loud you shout. Just think.
Which one of these stories do you
believe? |
|
|
|
| |
VOICE (V.O.)
None makes any sense. |
|
|
|
|
FADE IN TO: |
|
|
| |
|
INT. LOUIS'S APARTMENT - NIGHT |
|
|
Louis sitting on the ground, amidst the stuff all around. He
is watching RASHOMON on TV, quoting the scene that is
playing. |
|
|
| |
LOUIS
Don't worry about it. It isn't as
if men were reasonable. |
|
|
|
Louis digs through a pile of cloths that are next to him and
grabs his cell phone from one of the pockets. He flips it
open to make a call. |
|
|
| |
LOUIS
Dude Brian. It's time. Plan B is
starting to take action! |
|
|
|
|
Louis stands up and grabs a sweatshirt. |
|
|
| |
LOUIS
Stop telling me to be careful! I
know what I'm doin. I've been
planning this for a while now, you
know that. |
|
|
|
Digging through another pile, he finds a key and sticks it
in his pocket. |
|
|
23.
|
| |
LOUIS
Well, I have to get going. I have
a long walk. Yeah, I'll call you
when it's done. |
|
|
|
Louis hangs up the phone, steps outside, locks the door, and
then puts the black sweatshirt over his head. He walks off
screen. |
|
|
|
CUT TO: |
|
|
| |
|
EXT. OUTSIDE THE POLICE STATION - DAY |
|
|
During the drive to the station, the weather has taken a
turn for the worse. Clouds have rolled in, and it is
starting to rain. |
|
|
Three separate police cars pull up to the police station.
Mark, Joe, and Julie are each in a separate car. The three
are each let out of their respective cars. |
|
|
Detective Hudson leads the three into the station, and
proceeds to talk to them. |
|
|
| |
DETECTIVE
Before we do any questioning, all
three of you need to go for
fingerprinting. |
|
|
|
| |
MARK
Don't we get a fucking phone call
or something? What about a lawyer? |
|
|
|
| |
DETECTIVE
Yes if you feel you must. But
please, we can take care of that
while processing your
fingerprints. Right this way
please. |
|
|
|
The detective leads them into a small room, where they will
be fingerprinted. Joe, Mark and Julie walk into the room,
while Hudson stays in the hallway. |
|
|
|
Hudson's phone rings and he answers. |
|
|
| |
DETECTIVE
You found what? ... The murder
weapon? ... That's great! What was
it? ... A kitchen knife? Where did
you find it? In the bedroom? ...
In the knife block? With blood
(MORE)
|
|
24.
|
| |
DETECTIVE (cont'd)
still on it? O.K. ... Bag it and
bring it in for printing. |
|
|
|
About the time Hudson finishes his phone call, the three
come out of the room. |
|
|
| |
MARK
(agitated)
Now what? Can I call my fucking
lawyer? |
|
|
|
| |
JOE
Calm the fuck down, will you Mark?
You've been acting all fucked up
all morning. |
|
|
|
| |
DETECTIVE
Gentlemen, calm down, please. We
are going to try and find out what
happened. Mr. James, you may make
your phone call in just a minute. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
DETECTIVE
I'm going to sit down with each of
you individually. I need to hear
how you know Gretta, and I also
want to know what happened last
night, in your own words. |
|
|
|
They are walking back down the hallway. A payphone is
hanging on the wall. When Hudson finishes talking, he
brings Julie into the interrogation room, and Mark is free
to make his phone call. |
|
|
| |
MARK
Dad? I need help. I'm at the
police station. Gretta was killed
last night, and now they are
questioning us like we did it! NO!
Fine. Thanks. |
|
|
|
Time passes. Mark and Joe are sitting in chairs outside of
the interrogation room. Hudson exits the room, and leaves
the frame, but comes back right away and re-enters the room.
Julie finally comes out in tears, and Joe gets up to go in
next. |
|
|
Even more time passes, and Julie and Mark are now sitting
and waiting. Hudson comes out and talks to someone, and
then goes back inside. |
|
|
25.
|
Joe comes out of the room, and sits down between Julie and
Mark. At this time, a man in a suit enters the scene, and
shakes hands with Mark. The two of them go inside the
interrogation room with Detective Hudson. |
|
|
| |
|
EXT. OUTSIDE OF APARTMENT 135 - NIGHT |
|
|
Lots of cars are parked along the street, and a party is
obviously going on inside the doors of apartment 135. Louis
is walking towards the door when he turns to see Gretta and
Julie pulling up in Gretta's car. |
|
|
As Gretta and Julie are walking toward the apartment, Louis
takes the hood of his sweatshirt and puts it over his head.
He then stands by the door, waiting. |
|
|
When the girls start to walk up to the front door, Louis
walks up to them, pretending to be drunk. |
|
|
| |
LOUIS
(slurring)
Grettie... Julette... hey... howz
it.. goin? |
|
|
|
| |
JULIE
(to Gretta)
Hurry up, he's getting a little
close, and he smells. |
|
|
|
The two girls push open the door and step inside the
apartment. |
|
|
|
Louis sits down with his back against the wall. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
INT. POLICE CHIEFS OFFICE - NIGHT |
|
|
The Chief of police is sitting in his office, writing some
things down on a legal pad. He starts to get up but sits
back down when his phone rings. He picks it up. |
|
|
| |
COP
(over the phone)
Umm.. Chief? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
26.
|
| |
COP
I think we've found a match to the
murder weapon. It's one of the
suspects Hudson is questioning. |
|
|
|
|
CUT TO: |
|
|
|
INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT |
|
|
We can see the older, portly police chief almost running
through the office, making his way to the interrogation
room. When he reaches the room, Julie and Joe both stand
up, giving each other questioning looks. |
|
|
|
CHIEF RIVERS opens up the door to the room. |
|
|
|
CUT TO: |
|
|
|
INT. POLICE INTERROGATION ROOM - NIGHT |
|
|
| |
CHIEF
Hudson. Out here. NOW. |
|
|
|
The three men in the room all stop and look at the out of
breath Chief. Hudson stands up. |
|
|
| |
DETECTIVE
What is it, Chief? Can it wait? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
DETECTIVE
(turning to Mark
and Lawyer)
Excuse me for just a minute
please. I'm sorry, I'll be back
as soon as I can. |
|
|
|
|
The two step out of the room and the door slams. |
|
|
|
CUT BACK TO: |
|
|
|
INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT |
|
|
| |
DETECTIVE
What's the big idea chief? You
can't just barge- |
|
|
|
| |
CHIEF
We have a match from the prints
off the knife. We know who used
it to kill the vic. |
|
|
|
27.
|
|
|
|
|
| |
CHIEF
The prints we found on the murder
weapon. We know who killed
Gretta. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
CHIEF
The prints belong to a Mr. --- |
|
|
|
|
CUT TO BLACK |
|
|
|
END OF ACT I. |
|
|
FADE OUT. |
|
|
|
|
|
| Feedback |
| From Mike Tempalski |
Date 5/29/2005 |
|
| Good Job! I like the idea and the story is an interesting beginning to what seems to be a great story. I'd be interested in reading more - keep developing ideas and I hope to see your name on the big screen in the future. |
| From Kevin |
Date 5/26/2005 |
|
| wasn't very into it, not that original at times, i disagree with krause, the dialogue is choppy and i like the beginning |
| From S.M. Krause |
Date 5/25/2005 |
|
| It's an alright script, dialogue is fresh, althougn the story is murky. It should grab you at the beginning to gain some attention and it doesn't quite get you there. I won't say it's bad, but alter your main intro to get people into the script. Other than that, it's a unique script with tangable elements. |
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|
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