Screenwriter Community |
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by Travis Whiteman (travis_whiteman2005@yahoo.com)
Rated:
Genre: Drama
User Review:
this is a short mini play i had wrote for my acting class for younger kids. its a start. but its about not judging people before you get to know them. because they could be one of the best friends you could have but you wouldnt know if you prejudge. tell me what you think
This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
(UNTITLED)
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FADE IN:
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INT. IN SCHOOL - DAY |
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BRENT
(calling out)
hey new kid! |
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brent Walks toward nick as scott walks the opposite
direction. as brent passes he punches scott in the stomach. |
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SCOTT
(in pain/angery)
What was that for?! |
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BRENT
(laughing)
Maybe next time you'll watch were
your going, or it may be your face
that meets my fist. |
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brent walks off stage |
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SCOTT
(angery)
that right you walk away! |
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BRENT
(annoyed)
Why what are you going to do? you
can't stop me im so much bigger
than you. Id snap you like a
freakin twig. |
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scott is seen holding his stomach still in pain as onlookers
laugh and point at him |
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GIRL 1
(to girl 2)
what a spaztasic dweeb! like hes
so not cool! |
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GIRL 2
(laughing)
yea he has no money and his
clothes look old. he will never be
as cool as us. |
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2.
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SCOTT
(in pain)
All of you just shut up! SHUT UP! |
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brent walks on stage over to the girls |
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BRENT
(studly)
hello ladies. what do you say we
get to class huh? |
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girl 1 turns to girl 2 and wink at eachother and all three
walk off stage |
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scott is alone on stage for monologue |
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SCOTT
(sadly)
why is it that i am always subject
to ridicule? I mean sure i dont
have the expensive clothes, or the
best looking car. |
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we hear a flash back of the girl's ridicule |
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GIRL 1
(laughing)
what a spaztastic dweeb. |
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GIRL 2
(laughing)
no money, his clothes look old, he
is so not cool. |
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SCOTT
(sadly)
i just want a chance to show that
there is so much more to a person
beyond the money and posessions. |
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FADE OUT. |
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Feedback |
From Brad Smith |
Date 7/23/2006 |
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I only gave you half a star because you wrote something. I don't give out 0s. This is like so like cliche. You should like try to come up with a story of like your own.
Sidenote: Two pages?! How are we supposed to understand the characters and story in just two pages? |
From prhh |
Date 9/3/2005 |
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i get bullied and i didn't find this that realistic. if you want to talk to me about my experiences send me and email. |
From Denis taaffe |
Date 8/27/2005 |
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just too feel good, scott should have psychological problems from the abuse he is taking, perhap at night , he could be masturbating bitterly from the mental abuse he has taken vowing revenge and the next day, he brings his uncles revolver to school and shoots the bullies? just an idea, more believable then this feel good stuff....and the bullies could be dealing crack and that is why they are robbed? so the thief could get there stash?..Perhaps...in any case, too sugary sweet and when reading it, I didn't realize the three bullies were not inside the school when they are robbed,which seemed really odd and threw me, perhaps that could be made a little more clear? well just my opinion |
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From Glenn |
Date 8/27/2005 |
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Hmm I think u were trying toi get bullying across to the audience, but it didnt really stick well with me. There was so much u could have doe with it, and i really didnt identify with any of the characters.
A few spelling and grammer erros also. Just go through it before you publish it. |
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