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The woods
by warren williams (warrenw5129@comcast.net)

Rated: R   Genre: Horror   User Review: *
This is the story of five teens who go on a camping trip but encounter a group of run away cons. I am a junior in high school and this is my first screenplay your input is very important.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



THE WOODS

FADE IN:

INT. AN OLDER MODEL TRANS AM - DAY
                                                            
It is 7:00 pm and the sun is beginning to set. A black trams
Am an older model. Driving on a side road in a corn fields
and more road with no other cars in sight. There were five
people ( John 17, driving, Tiffany 17 in the passenger side,
Sarah 17, on the back left side, Kim 16 back center, and
Paul 17 back right).There is no conversation and the radio
is on
                                                            
                       PAUL

Hey how far do we have to go?
                                                            
                       JOHN
      ((looking at the
       gas tank))
Oh, about an hour but if we don’t
get some gas soon were goin
be walking the rest of the way.
                                                            
                       PAUL
Well, I’ll look out for one.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
Hey where exactly is this place?
                                                            
                       JOHN
Its right outside of El Paso.
Actually it’s really hard place to
find and to get its always booked.
The place only comes with two
cabins in the whole reserve,but
it’s a really nice place.
                                                            
                       KIM
Plus; Its like right down the
street from
the concert.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Goddamn! Dillinger has its
concerts
in weird places why not just have
            (MORE)

2.

                       SARAH (cont'd)
it
in El Paso?
                                                            
                       PAUL
      (Kim begins to
       laugh)
Apparently your not too filmier
with the band.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Ha Ha, Ah ha Fuck you Paul.
                                                            
                       PAUL
Jess you don’t have to be so
bitchy about it.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (Then Sarah
       playfully hits
       him the arm.)
Ok I got one more question for the
wise ass here (talking about Paul)
Does this band come to
Chicago so we did not have to come
all the way down to el Paso with
all this hicks.
                                                            
                       PAUL
Well they did have a concert up
there but we missed it by about a
mouth ago. plus this is our last
spring Break we got to live it up.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
Yeah Paul’s got a point after this
its collage and work we won’t be
able to have fun like this any
more.
                                                            
                       JOHN
Yeah, like they say after this its
just bills and babies.
                                                            
                       PAUL
That’s a really grim way to look
at life.
                                                            

3.

                       JOHN
Well its true.
                                                            
THERE WAS SILENCE FOR A WHILE.
                                                            
                       JOHN
      (trying to break
       the silence)
Lets listen to the radio
                                                            
                       PAUL
You know any stations.
                                                            
                       JOHN
Shut up.(He turns on the radio and
a Brittney Spears song comes on
they all shriek and has John is
reaching for the dial.)
                                                            
                       RV # 1 (Over voice)
Hello I’m sorry to interrupt
your regular programming but
we have breaking news on a
Gang calling them selves the
“Seeds of Satan”. The gang is
made up of Four people: Wes
Campbell the leader wanted for
murder, rape and armed robbery.
Then there’s Tobe Garris, Tony
Todd, and the only female in the
group Kelly Stables they are
wanted for home invasion and
killing the hole family. They have
just eluted police in a bloody
shoot out were 3 officers died and
they took a hostage Jenny Remero
who worked at the hotel were the
shoot out happed. So they get away
they are driving a blue 1982 el
Camino with the license plate of
de3452f.They were last seen in the
el Paso area. If you see them
remember if you see them call your
local police do not and I repeat
do not try to apprehend them they
are armed and extremely dangerous.
                                                            
 

4.

INT. THE INSIDE OF THE BLUE 1982 EL CAMINO. - DAY
                                                            
And Wes turning off he was sitting in the drivers seat. And
next to him was Toby with his feet out the window eating
some chicken. Kelly was sitting right behind Toby, and Tony
was walking toward the car.
                                                            
                       KELLY
Hay you know that reports wrong we
don’t have a hostage any more all
we
have is a dead body isn’t that
that right Jenny (then she pushes
Jenny’s dead body over. Then she
laughs).
                                                            
                       WES
Shut up .
                                                            
Tony gets in the car.
                                                            
                       TONY
They ani’t got no cabins left.
                                                            
                       KELLY
See I told you we should have gone
to my moms house see this is this
is the shit I’m talking bout you…
                                                            
                       WES
      (he looks at the
       sign on the place
        it says Wendell
       Park)
Shut up bitch .Well Wendell Park
looks like were going to have
to make some room.
                                                            
                       TOBY
Why you want this place so bad?
                                                            
                       WES
It’s perfect it’s not people there
but a lot of land its perfect to
duck out for a while.
                                                            
 

5.

EXT. THEY PULL UP TO THE GAS STATION - DAY
                                                            
They stop when they get out John starts pumping gas. The
rest go in the gas station.
                                                            
Tiffany walks toward John.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
You want something out the gas
station?
                                                            
                       JOHN
Yeah get me some chips and here
(he gives her some money)pay for
the gas; pump number 13.
                                                            
inside the gas station
Sarah is walking around in the gas station she sees Kim run
into the bathroom. Sarah goes in to the bathroom with her.
                                                            
Inside the bathroom
Kim is throwing up in one of the stalls Sarah walks by and
sees here throwing up.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Oh my god are ok?
                                                            
                       KIM
Sarah can I tell you some
think,that you must promise not to
tell anyone.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Kim what’s wrong?
                                                            
                       KIM
PROMISE!
                                                            
                       SARAH
Ok, Ok I promise now what’s wrong?
                                                            
                       KIM
      (begin to cry)
I think, I think I’m pregnant
                                                            

6.

                       SARAH
What? Is Paul the father?
                                                            
                       KIM
Of course he is.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Are you sure your pregnant?
                                                            
                       KIM
It’s been like this for a mouth or
so.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Does Paul know yet?
                                                            
                       KIM
No, I’m going to tell he after the
trip is over.
                                                            
 
INT. INSIDE THE CAR - DAY
                                                            
They are all in side in the same seats.
                                                            
                       PAUL
      (Looking at Sarah)
man it looks like you saw a
ghost(Kim is makes do not tell
face at Sarah behind
Paul’s back)
                                                            
                       SARAH
Oh it nothing.
                                                            
John is trying to start his car
                                                            
                       JOHN
Come on come baby start.
                                                            
Then the car starts.
                                                            

7.

                       JOHN
yes.
                                                            
                       PAUL
Man your car sucks.
                                                            
                       JOHN
      (he laughs)
Hay Paul we should have taken your
car.
                                                            
                       PAUL
I don’t have car.
                                                            
                       JOHN
Well shut the fuck then.
                                                            
                       PAUL
Fuck you.
                                                            
 
EXT. THEY ARRIVING AT THE WENDEL PARK -LATER - DAY
                                                            
They see the sign Welcome to Wendell Park they stop the car
at the main office. John and Tiffany got out the car, and
walked into the main office.
                                                            
 
INT. INSIDE OF THE MAIN OFFICE. - DAY
                                                            
There is a man sitting behind the desk playing solitary His
name tag says Terrence. John and Tiffany walk up to the
desk.
                                                            
                       TERRENCE
      (Looking up at
       them)
Welcome to Wendell park
my name is Terrence how can I help
you?
                                                            
                       JOHN
Yeah I made a reservation for a
cabin.
                                                            

8.

                       TERRENCE
Last name and phone number please.
                                                            
                       JOHN
Craven and my number is
773-555-0987.
                                                            
                       TERRENCE
Oh so you kids from Chicago
(He typed some things on his
computer then looked up at John)
Ok I just had to make sure,
because this guy tried to come in
and take your place(he handed them
some keys and a map) Ok so here
are the rules no drugs of any kind
and no guns. After midnight I
close The front Gate because I
leave the area and I
don’t want any strangers getting
in (he wrote some thing on a piece
of paper and handed it to John.)
This is the code if you need to
get out of the park. There are
some movies over there(he pointed
to a self on the wall) take has
many has you want.
                                                            
 
EXT. JOHN AND TIFFANY GETTING IN THE CAR. - DAY
                                                            
                       JOHN
Yeah, we got some movies.(John
starts up the car and drives off)
                                                            
                       PAUL
Oh really what kind of movies?
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
Some horror movies. (She passed
them to Paul)
                                                            
                       JOHN
Were here.
                                                            
They all look at the cabin.
                                                            
                       PAUL
Wow.
                                                            

9.

                       TIFFANY
How did you get this place again?
                                                            
The cabin was huge it had two stories and you could see a
pool in the back. There was an other cabin right across the
road. John stopped the car, and they all began to get out by
this time the sun was just about down.
                                                            
 
EXT. A FENCE WITH BARBED WIRE ON IT. - DAY
                                                            
Toby cutting the wire off. Then they start jumping the
fence.
                                                            
 
EXT. OUTSIDE THE CABIN. - DAY
                                                            
John and the rest getting there bags out the car.
                                                            
                       JOHN
(He is reaching in his pocket
trying to get the keys but he has
a lot of things in his arms and
drops the keys on the porch while
trying to take the keys out his
pocket.) Damn
                                                            
                       PAUL
Hey how do you lock your door?
                                                            
                       BRAD
How are you today?
                                                            
                       PAUL
      (Jumping up in
       fright and
       dropping his
       things)
Who are you ?
                                                            
                       BRAD
I am Brad and this is my wife
Joann (he pointed to lady who was
standing right beside him she was
holding a baby in her arms)and
this is my son Carter.
                                                            

10.

By this time they were all staring at the couple and there
son.
                                                            
                       JOANN
We will be in the cabin next to
yours.
                                                            
                       BRAD
This is our honeymoon.
                                                            
                       KIM
      (Looking at the
       baby)
Its such a cute baby.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Thank you. Well if you need
anything you know where we are.
                                                            
The couple walks away. John gets the door open, and they all
walk in. The cabin is more extravagant looking on the inside
than the out side. There was a huge living room space with a
couch and a “32” in TV. They all just stood in the door way
and scanned the place all with a look of shock in there
face.
                                                            
                       PAUL
How did you afford this place?
                                                            
                       JOHN
My dad knows a guy.
                                                            
                       PAUL
Umm.
                                                            
They all put there things down by the couch. They walk up
the stairs and there was three door Paul jumped for the
first door he saw it was a bath room they all laughed.
Tiffany open the door to the master bedroom. It was a huge
bedroom with a king size bed in the middle of the room and a
TV in front of the bed and two dressers on the side.
                                                            

11.

                       TIFFANY
This is our room (she grabs John
and pulls him in the room and
closes the door.)
                                                            
Kim reaches for the next door it is the kids room with two
separate beds and a playpen in the corner.
                                                            
                       SARAH
You two can have this room(she
pats them on the back and walks
off.)
                                                            
Paul and Kim have a look of surprise.
                                                            
 
INT. THE LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Sarah falls on the couch she looks around and grabs the
remote and turned on the TV. Paul was coming down the stairs
with Kim fallowing him. Then Kim walked over to Sarah she
got up to make room for Kim to sit down. She sits.
                                                            
                       KIM
What chah watching?
                                                            
                       SARAH
Just channel surfing.
                                                            
                       PAUL
      (Running in the
       living room)
GUYS LOOK AT THIS!
                                                            
They both follow Paul into a room past the kitchen into a
hot tub room.
                                                            
                       PAUL
Look at this.
                                                            
                       KIM
Oh my god.
                                                            

12.

                       PAUL
Yeah it get better.
                                                            
                       SARAH
How?
                                                            
                       PAUL
Well check this out (he pushes
open a slide on the wall and it
was a stereo.
                                                            
 
EXT. THE OUTSIDE OF BRAD AND JOANN’S CABIN. - NIGHT
                                                            
By this time it was night time Tony was sneaking around the
cabin. He cut the phone line.
                                                            
 
INT. THE INSIDE OF BRAD AND JOANN’S CABIN. - NIGHT
                                                            
The baby is sleep and so is Joann and Brad was in the
bathroom.Then Joann feels a knife on her neck she wakes up
with Toby on top of her with his hands over her mouth, and a
knife to her neck.
                                                            
                       TOBY
Don’t make a sound bitch or your
dead.(He picked her up and dragged
her in to the living room and
throw her on the floor.
                                                            
Wes kicked the bathroom door in and grabbed Brad off the
toilet and throw him next to his wife. By this time Kelly
and Toby were in the living room. And Kelly was holding the
baby.
                                                            
                       JOANN
Get your god damn hands off my
child.
                                                            
she reached for the baby when Wes slapped her down.
                                                            
                       WES
Sit down Bitch.
                                                            

13.

                       BRAD
Don’t you talk to my wife like
that you son of a…(then he got up
and hit Wes.)
                                                            
Then Toby pulled out a gun and pointed at Brad. Wes got up.
                                                            
                       WES
      (angrily)
SIT DOWN NOW! And you listen and
you listen good you son of a bitch
you try something
like that again you and your whole
family is dead.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (Sitting down)
Take whatever you want but please
don’t hurt my family.
                                                            
                       TOBY
      (Pointing to the
       cabin)
Well you see that the problem.
This is what we what.
                                                            
                       BRAD
What, What does mean.
                                                            
                       WES
      (talking to Brad)
What’s your name?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Brad.
                                                            
                       WES
Listen Brad we need a place to
duck out for a while and this is
the perfect place. So you let us
stay here for a while no one gets
hurt.
                                                            

14.

                       KELLY
This a pretty baby what’s its
name?
                                                            
                       JOANN
Carter.
                                                            
                       KELLY
Nah I don’t like that name I’m
going to call it (pausing for a
moment) Gacy.
                                                            
                       WES
You (pointing at Joann) what’s
your name?
                                                            
                       JOANN
Joann.
                                                            
                       WES
Stand up.
                                                            
                       JOANN
What?
                                                            
                       WES
      (louder)
Stand up.
                                                            
She stands up.
                                                            
                       BRAD
What’s going on you said you were
just ducking out.
                                                            
                       WES
      (Giving Brad a
       hard look)
First of all I’m in charge and
what I say goes, and second if you
even so much as dream of
questioning me or any one of these
good people(pointing to Toby,
Kelly, And Tony) I’m going to cut
            (MORE)

15.

                       WES (cont'd)
your fucking dick off do you
understand me? Know back to you
(looking at Joann)your boyfriend
here just made things worse for
you. Do you know the game Simon
says?
                                                            
                       JOANN
Yes.
                                                            
                       WES
Shut up Simon didn’t say speak.
Now Joann piss your pants.
                                                            
                       JOANN
What.
                                                            
                       WES
      (Then Wes slapped
       Joann hard in the
       face)
Simon didn’t say speak.
                                                            
Joann Fell to the ground.
                                                            
                       WES
Simon says get up now!(he kicks
her in the ribs) GET UP NOW BITCH!
                                                            
You could see the rage building up in Brads eyes he made a
fist. Joann got up.
                                                            
                       WES
Now piss your pants now or the
baby dies.
                                                            
Brad got up and rushed Wes that was when Toby pistol whipped
him.
                                                            
                       JOANN
Why, why are you doing this.
                                                            
                       WES
      (He punches her in
       the stomach)
Bitch you just don’t learn do you.
            (MORE)

16.

                       WES (cont'd)
Simon didn’t say SPEAK! NOW GET UP
NOW.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (Crawling near
       Wes’s leg)
Stop please stop.
                                                            
                       WES
      (He kicks Brad in
       the head)
Fucking pussy.
                                                            
Joann had got up again.
                                                            
                       WES
      (He made a gesture
       to Toby to give
       him the gun)
Now listen to me you dirty bitch
I’m tired of hitting you and
hitting him(pointing at Brad with
the gun.) So (he cocks the gun and
points it at Brad’s head.)Now piss
your pants.
                                                            
Joann pauses for a minute then she begins to pee her pants.
                                                            
                       TOBY
      (laughing)
She really did it.
                                                            
                       WES
Now that wasn’t so bad now was it?
                                                            
Joann is covering her self were she peed her self and
crying.
                                                            
                       WES
The game is not over yet, now guys
what should we do next.
                                                            
                       TONY
Make her drink pee.
                                                            

17.

                       WES
No that’s to mean.
                                                            
Kelly put the baby down on the table.
                                                            
                       KELLY
Don’t let them treat you like this
let me clean you up.
                                                            
                       WES
You like Kelly Joann?
                                                            
                       JOANN
What.
                                                            
                       WES
      (Slower)
Do you like Kelly?
                                                            
                       JOANN
I’m not gay if that’s what you
mean.
                                                            
                       WES
Well I don’t think so see your
letting another woman touch and
offer to clean you up. And you
don’t say anything about it I
think you are gay.Kelly your Simon
now and if you don’t listen to
every word Kelly says I going to
kill Brad.
                                                            
                       KELLY
Ok, now take off your shirt and
pants.
                                                            
She takes it off quickly and put it on the floor.
                                                            
                       KELLY
Good job. now take off your bra.
                                                            
                       JOANN
What please don’t make…
                                                            

18.

Then Wes shot Brad in the head.
                                                            
                       WES
Oh I’m sorry what were you saying.
                                                            
 
INT. THE HOT TUB ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Sarah, Kim, and Paul are in the hot tub drinking Champaign.
Listening to Dillinger.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Did you hear something?
                                                            
                       PAUL
No, pass the Champaign.
                                                            
 
INT. JOANN’S CABIN. - NIGHT
                                                            
Joann is over Brad’s dead body crying.
                                                            
                       JOANN
Why, Why did you have to kill him.
Why.
                                                            
                       WES
Ok, Ok you’ve had you time to
moron over your dead boyfriend.
Now Simon says get up.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (Looking up at)
FUCK YOU! And your stupid game.
                                                            
Wes looks around then lunges out his chair, and grabs Joann
by the neck and put her against the wall. he puts the gun to
her head.
                                                            

19.

                       WES
      (choking Joann)
Now listen to me where playing at
a level that few ever play on. And
I’m going to teach you to play the
game.Kelly give me that baby.
                                                            
                       JOANN
NO! (and she scratched the left
side of his face so deep it tore
the skin)
                                                            
Wes holds his face in pain.
                                                            
                       WES
You shouldn’t have done that.
                                                            
Then Wes punched Joann in the face then kicked her in the
ribs. And when she tried to get up he kicked her in the face
so
hard that her front tooth flew out her mouth.By this time
they were by the stove and Joann looked up to see the babies
bottle boiling on the stove. Then she reached up and grabbed
the pot that the bottle was boinging in and throw the hot
water on the left side of Wes’s face. He fell to the floor
and screamed in pain Joann picked up the gun off the ground
and shot and Kelly but graved her stomach Kelly fell to the
ground. She pointed the gun at Toby and Tony.
                                                            
                       JOANN
Don’t move.
                                                            
                       TOBY
Put he gun down.
                                                            
                       JOANN
Shut up I’m in charge now!
                                                            
                       TOBY
Put the...
                                                            
Then Joann shot Toby in the hand.
                                                            
                       TOBY
AHHH YOU FUCKING BICTH!
                                                            

20.

Wes was puling a knife out his pants. Then he reached up and
stabbed Joann in the back right above the pants line. Joann
began to fall forward she dropped the gun then Tony and
Kelly grabbed here arms then Toby walked over holding his
hand. He took the knife out of Joann’s back then whipped the
blood on the knife on her face. Then he stabbed her in the
chest over and over again. Then they dropped her on the
floor. Wes got up and the left side of his face was badly
burned.
                                                            
                       WES
GIVE ME THE PILLS NOW!
                                                            
Kelly reached in her pocket and pulled out some pain pills
and tossed them to Wes. He popped the cap off and took three
of the pills.
                                                            
 
INT. THE OTHER CABIN JOHN’S ROOM. - NIGHT
                                                            
Tiffany was walking out the bathroom she had just taken a
shower. John was sitting on the bed with some head phones on
and the TV was on but she did not hear any thing.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
Hey John.
                                                            
She got no responses.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
      (Louder)
Hey John.
                                                            
                       JOHN
      (He looked over at
       Tiffany)
Hey Tiff this is so cool I can
watch TV with out you hearing.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
Did you hear a loud bang.
                                                            
                       JOHN
No.
                                                            

21.

                       TIFFANY
Do you know where Paul and them
are at?
                                                            
                       JOHN
Check down stairs.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
Great.
                                                            
 
INT. THE HOT TUB ROOM. - NIGHT
                                                            
Tiffany Turning down the stereo
                                                            
                       PAUL
Hey turn it back on.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Yeah.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
Did you guys hear a loud bang
about 10 minutes ago.
                                                            
                       PAUL
No, now turn the music back on.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
      (talking to her
       self very low)
I could have sworn I herd
something.(She got up and walked
out the room.)
                                                            
 
INT. BRAD’S CABIN - NIGHT
                                                            
They are all sitting at a table.
                                                            
                       WES
Ok, I was talking to Rodrigo and
he said He’ll give us every thing
we need to get in Mexico and live
a good life. Boozes women the
            (MORE)

22.

                       WES (cont'd)
whole shebang, but he wants 30% of
what we made in the El Paso heist.
                                                            
                       TOBY
30% that’s bullshit.
                                                            
                       WES
Hey, Hey If we want statuary and
not a night stick shoved half way
up your ass by the end of the
week. You gotta pay ok.
                                                            
                       TOBY
Ok But 30% of 1.4 million that’s a
little too much can’t we haggle a
little bit.
                                                            
                       WES
No, you don’t Haggle with these
people.
                                                            
                       TOBY
But…
                                                            
                       WES
Conversation over we don’t
bargain.
                                                            
                       TOBY
Hey don’t talk to me like that.
                                                            
                       WES
You wanna make something of it
bitch.
                                                            
Then Toby got up and hit Wes in the face. Wes just stood
there. Then head-butted Toby.
                                                            
                       WES
Pain killers bitch I don’t feel a
thing.
                                                            

23.

Then Wes started kicking Toby while he was on the ground.
Then Toby pulled out a gun and pointed at Wes.
                                                            
                       TOBY
You’ll feel this bitch.
                                                            
                       TONY
      (Stepping between
       the two)
That’s enough.(He helped Toby up.)
                                                            
                       KELLY
So how long is it before we can
get into Mexico?
                                                            
                       WES
We have to stay here a few days.
                                                            
                       TOBY
How many days?
                                                            
                       WES
About three.
                                                            
                       TOBY
Three days! Hell by that time the
owner will know that the couple is
dead.
                                                            
                       WES
Yeah but if he calls the cops look
at all this space we have to hide.
                                                            
                       TONY
Three days.
                                                            
                       WES
That’s all home free.
                                                            
                       TOBY
Fine.
                                                            

24.

                       WES
Lets get something strait I really
didn’t care if you agreed with me
or not.
                                                            
                       WES
Come on lets changed.
                                                            
 
INT. INSIDE JOHN AND TIFFANY’S ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
John has fallen asleep and Tiffany is wacthing TV.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
      (To her self)
Oh crap dad.
                                                            
Tiffany walkes over to the phone and trys to call but the
phone line is dead.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
      (To her self)
Damn
                                                            
Then she takes out her cell phone but she gets on signal.
She walks down Stairs to the hot tub room.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
Hey guys are your cell phones
working I need to call my dad.
                                                            
                       SARAH
No phone.
                                                            
                       PAUL
Check my pants there over in the
corner.
                                                            
She walks over to the corner there are about five pairs of
pants.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
Which ones are yours?
                                                            

25.

                       PAUL
The ones on top of the black
shoes.
                                                            
Tiffany grabs his pants and reaches in to the pocket and
grabs the phone. It to has no signal.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
Great.
                                                            
                       PAUL
No signal?
                                                            
                       SARAH
Its probably the woods.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
Yeah your probably right. What
time is it?
                                                            
                       PAUL
About 11:45.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
I guess I’ll check next door see
if there phones in on.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Why don't you just use the phone
in the cabin?
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
Becouse the phone line is dead.
                                                            
                       PAUL
What the line is dead?
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
Relax The guy at the front desk
said the power might go out if the
weater gets bad. And the news
person said it might be a storm.
                                                            

26.

                       PAUL
What so we're going to stuck out
here with no phone what if
something happens were we need a
phone?
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
Paul, the guy said someone will
come turn on a back up generator.
                                                            
                       PAUL
So your going to the cabin next
door?
                                                            
                       KIM
You mean Brad’s cabin?
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
Yeah.
                                                            
                       KIM
You what me to go with you?
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
No, No I don’t what to ruin your
night. Plus I’ll get John to go
with me.
                                                            
 
INT. TIFFANY IN HER ROOM. - NIGHT
                                                            
She tries to wake John up but he does not get up.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (To her self)
Damn
                                                            
 
INT. THE HOT TUB ROOM. - NIGHT
                                                            
Every one is passed out from the champagne.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
      (to her self)
Ah hell.
                                                            
 

27.

EXT. TIFFANY WALKING OUT THE CABIN. - NIGHT
                                                            
By this time it had began to rain a little Tiffany is by her
self and walking over to Brad’s cabin. She knocks on the
door.
                                                            
 
INT. INSIDE THE CABIN. - NIGHT
                                                            
They look around in a state of fright then begin to take out
there gun. Then Toby walks to the door and opens it just
enough to stick his head out. And he saw Tiffany.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
Is this Brad’s cabin?
                                                            
                       TOBY
Yeah, what do you do what?
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
Is your phone working?
                                                            
                       TOBY
Yeah it is.(He opens the door and
lets Tiffany in.)
                                                            
Tiffany walks in and looks around and saw the gang and Brad
and Joann’s dead bodies on the Ground. Toby locks the dead
bolt on the door. She tries to scream but Toby puts his hand
around her mouth then Tony and Wes got up. They grabbed her
by the arms and legs. She kicked and screamed then they
throw her in and bed in the master bed room on the bed.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
What do you want.
                                                            
                       WES
Who sent you?
                                                            
                       WES
      (He takes out a
       gun)
Are you a cop?
                                                            

28.

She begin to kick and scream.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
No, no I'm not a cop now let me
the fuck go.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Your feisty one aren’t you. Well
we go take that out you.
(Shouting) Kelly bring me the
tape.
                                                            
Tiffany gets out the bed and tries to run for the window but
Tony grabs her and hits her in the face knocking her out.
When she wakes up her arms and legs are taped to the bed
post and her mouth is taped shut. She has on nothing but a
tee shirt and her underwear. She is breathing very hard and
she hers foot steps walking around. Then the door to the
room opens she hers the baby crying Wes, Toby, and Tony
enter the room.
                                                            
                       TOBY
She’s awake now.
                                                            
                       WES
Good (he walks around the bed to
where her head is at and bends
down)Now listen to me very
carefully and follow every
instruction I say to the slightest
detail and I won’t hurt you but if
you don’t listen I will make your
last moments on earth as painful
has possible. Now I’m going to
take off the tape and your not
going to scream (And he slides the
tape off her mouth slowly). Did
anyone else come with you out
here?
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
No.
                                                            
                       WES
      (Looking in to her
       eyes)
Fine I belive you but if I found
out any thing different your
fucked. (He began to walk away) Ok
            (MORE)

29.

                       WES (cont'd)
Tony do your thing.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
What, what’s going on.
                                                            
Tony took off his glasses and put them on the night stand.
And begin to walk toward Tiffany. Then Tony began to rape
her. In the back round was the sound of two TV Broadcasters.

                                                            
                       NEWS CASTER #1
Well what do you think is the
motive behind all of these acts of
violence from the seeds of satin.
                                                            
                       NEWS CASTER #2
Well I believe it may be there
childhoods all come from broken
homes and…
                                                            
                       NEWS CATER #3
      (interrupting)
That’s a load of bull. People
always try to lame these things on
the parents but lets face it was
no ones fault but there own.On top
of that this group they all are
greedy self centered maniacs and
you can quote me on that!
                                                            
 
INT. THE LIVING ROOM IN BRAD’S CABIN. - NIGHT
                                                            
The hole crew has gathered together at the table in the
cabin.
                                                            
                       WES
Ok,Me and Tony are going to get
the rest of the stuff. Toby and
Kelly you stay her with the girl,
and if anyone comes looking for
her kill her.
                                                            

30.

                       TOBY
Why don’t we just kill her now?
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (Laughing)
Because she too much fun.
                                                            
All but Kelly begin to laugh. Wes and Toby grabbed there
guns and walked out.
                                                            
 
INT. MASTER BEDROOM JOHN’S CABIN - NIGHT
                                                            
John wakes up in a cold sweat he takes the head phones off
and looks around and does not Tiffany. He gets out the bed
and walks down stairs he is rubbing his face. He walks in
the kitchen and opens the fridge grabs some orange juice and
drinks it out a Glass. John looks around some more and sees
Paul’s door open and no one is on the couch.
                                                            
                       JOHN
Where is everybody.
                                                            
He walks around the cabin looking for his friends.
                                                            
 
INT. MASTER ROOM IN BRAD’S CABIN. - NIGHT
                                                            
Tony walks into the room.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
No god please not again.
                                                            
                       TONY
Don’t worry little girl I’m done
with you I just want to talk.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
What do you want with me?
                                                            
                       TONY
I already done what I want with
you.
                                                            

31.

                       TIFFANY
I know who you are your those
murders,why, why do you do it?
                                                            
                       TONY
Do what, kill people. Well I can’t
speak for Wes and them but I can
speak for myself you ever go into
a horror movie and want the
victims to die. You ever wander
what it lookslike when some one
dies so some people like myself
actually go out and kill some one
and it’s the best damn feeling in
the world knowing you took an
others life. So you do it again to
get that same feeling. The you
become addicted to killing because
you what that felling. Some my say
what I do is wrong but I’m going
back to the first basic instinct
violence.
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
Your sick.
                                                            
                       TONY
Am I really? I bet if you had the
chance you would kill me right now
but you not sick are you? Violence
is human nature its what makes us
human
                                                            
                       TIFFANY
Did you think of the families of
the people you hurt?
                                                            
Then he got up and walked out the door and slammed the door
behind him.
                                                            
 
INT. A DINER WITH A FEW PEOPLE IN IT. - NIGHT
                                                            
By this time it has began to rain very hard. Terrance walks
in and sits at the bar next to an officer.
                                                            

32.

                       TERRENCE
Let me have a beer any kind. I had
a hell of a bad day.
                                                            
The waitress gave him a glass of Beer.
                                                            
                       TERRENCE
Thanks. (He sat there quietly for
a few minutes drinking his beer
and eating some peanuts when
noticed the cook was looking at
him very hard) You got a problem
Friend?
                                                            
                       COP CHRIS
No, no you look very familiar.
                                                            
                       TERRENCE
No I don’t.
                                                            
                       COP CHRIS
Yeah, yeah you used to play for
Valley villa High. Your names um
um Terrence right.
                                                            
                       TERRENCE
Right, right I was the QB.
                                                            
                       COP CHRIS
Yeah boy you could really throw.
My names Chris.
                                                            
                       TERRENCE
Well you know my name. Well I’m
sorry about earlier but I had a
hell of a bad day.
                                                            
They here Thunder from out side.
                                                            
                       TERRENCE
Great now I have to go back to the
park.I have to go (he leaves two
dollars on the bar). Nice talking
with you. (He shake Chris’s hand
and walks out).
                                                            
 

33.

EXT. THE DINER LATER. - NIGHT
                                                            
Terrence is trying to start his car but it won’t start. Then
Chris scares him when he bangs his flashlight on his window.
                                                            
                       COP CHRIS
Need a lift?
                                                            
Terrance gets out the car.
                                                            
                       TERRENCE
Yeah could you help me out?
                                                            
                       COP CHRIS
Yeah, what do you need.
                                                            
                       TERRENCE
I think I need a jump.
                                                            
                       COP CHRIS
Well I know for sure I have no
jumper cables but I can give you
lift.
                                                            
                       TERRENCE
Yeah that would great.
                                                            
They both get in to Chris's squad car.And drive off.
                                                            
 
INT. THE MASTER BEDROOM BRAD'S CABIN - NIGHT
                                                            
Tiffany tied to bed post struggling to get free. The taped
right hand breaks, her wrist are bleeding, she reaches over
to her left hand and pulls the tape off. She hears foot
steps coming toward the room, she quickly lies back in the
position she was in. The door is cracked slightly and it is
Toby he closes the door. she gets up and rips the tape off
her legs and off her mouth. She opens the window and climbs
out.
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM BRAD’S CABIN - NIGHT
                                                            
Tony sitting down eating spa ghetto’s and watching
television while Kelly is dancing to music. The baby is
sitting on the table crying.
                                                            

34.

                       TONY
Shut that got damn baby up and
turn that music down.
                                                            
                       KELLY
Fuck you (turn’s the music up).
                                                            
You dumb bitch turn that music down (puts down his plate and
approaches Kelly)
                                                            
                       TONY
You aint go do shit bitch.
                                                            
                       TONY
      (he pulls out a
       knife)
Fuck you bitch?
                                                            
                       KELLY
      (pulls out a gun)
I called you a bitch, bitch.
                                                            
Toby approaches Kelly.
                                                            
                       KELLY
You here that?
                                                            
                       TONY
Here what?
                                                            
                       SARAH
The girl.
                                                            
They both run into the room they put tiffany in, by this
time she had begun to run toward the other cabin when Toby
crawled out the window and began to chase her. Kelly ran
out to the front to catch her.
                                                            
 

35.

EXT. THE WOODS - NIGHT
                                                            
Tiffany running through the woods when she trips and falls
down a small hill.
                                                            
 
EXT. THE PARK AND THE EL CAMINO. - NIGHT
                                                            
Wes and Toby are looking threw it they open the trunk.
The storm has not reached this part of town but there is
still a little rain coming down.
                                                            
                       TOBY
      (looking threw the
       things)
What happened to all the guns.
                                                            
                       WES
Remember we used most of um in the
shoot out.

                                                            
                       TOBY
Damn it we only have three guns.
                                                            
                       WES
What three guns?
                                                            
                       SARAH
Yeah, We got the bitch (he handed
Wes the shot gun) and two
revolvers.
                                                            
They closed the trunk and open the back door of the car they
see the dead body of the women who they killed earlier. Toby
grabbed the body and pulled it out the car, and began to dig
a hole.
                                                            
                       WES
What the hell are doing?
                                                            
                       TOBY
Getting rid of the body.
                                                            

36.

                       WES
What why.
                                                            
                       TOBY
Because it’s disrespect if I just
leave it out like this.
                                                            
                       WES
And since when do you care about a
body after it’s dead.
                                                            
                       TOBY
I always cared.
                                                            
                       WES
What, wait a minute what about all
those cops you killed this
morning.
                                                            
                       TOBY
Hey there getting a funeral
(pausing) eventually.
                                                            
                       WES
Fine ( He turns around and sees
car coming down the road.) What
the hell (he grabbed a spy glass
and he sees a Police sign on
the side of the car.) Hey Toby was
that the road we came down to get
her?
                                                            
                       TOBY
Yeah, I think so.
                                                            
                       WES
A you sure you gotta be sure.
                                                            
                       TOBY
Yeah I’m pretty sure it is.
                                                            
                       WES
Is it or not.
                                                            

37.

                       TOBY
Yeah it is why?
                                                            
                       SARAH
A cop is on the way.
                                                            
                       TOBY
What you sure?
                                                            
                       WES
Yeah
                                                            
Toby grabbed a gas tank and began to pore it all over the
car.
                                                            
                       WES
What are you doing?
                                                            
                       TOBY
      (He was putting
       the body back in
       the car)
Cremation is just has good.
                                                            
                       WES
Don't forget to grab the money.
                                                            
Toby reached in the car and grabbed a blue back pack out the
car and put it on.
                                                            
                       WES
This will distract these sons of
bitch.(He lights a match and threw
it on the car).
                                                            
The car caught fire quickly Toby an Wes jumped the fence as
they were running threw the woods they herd the car explode.
                                                            
 
INT. INSIDE CHRIS’S SQUAD CAR. - NIGHT
                                                            
By this time it had began to rain very hard all of a sudden.
                                                            
                       COP CHRIS
So why you gotta go back to the
park anyway?
                                                            

38.

                       TERRENCE
Because the park loses most of the
electricity when it rains so I
have to turn on the back up
generator. Or they’ll be locked in
all night. Hell the power is
probably already out.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Oh my god look.
                                                            
The see the car on fire He pulls over quickly. Hopes out the
car and began to put the fire out.
                                                            
 
INT. BRADS CABIN INSIDE. - NIGHT
                                                            
Wes and Toby kick in the door in a panic when they come in
they are wet from the storm.
                                                            
                       WES
We got to get the hell out of here
now.
                                                            
                       KELLY
Why, why what's going on.
                                                            


THE END


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From Steven R. Scheer Date 4/13/2006 *
The dialogue actually isn't bad (when you're not stealing lines from last house on the left. ha ha) But the story isn't all that good. It seemed too much like Last House and The Hills Have Eyes. Just because you're new at this doesn't mean you can't still be original, but it is an alright effort for trying to experiment and find your voice, and the dialogue was decent, so I gave you a 1 star. I will say watch your grammar and spelling, because there's no point in not giving the very best version of the product as possible. Otherwise, it's kinda disrespectful to the reader if you don't. Also, don't describe things in the location heading. Example: DON'T WRITE (EXT. A FENCE WITH BARBED WIRE ON IT - NIGHT or INT. THE INSIDE OF BRAD AND JOANN'S CABIN - NIGHT) You don't need to describe so much, do it in an action narration. Just write (EXT. BARBED WIRE FENCE - NIGHT) and by the use of "INT." you already imply that that is the inside of something, so just write (INT. BRAD AND JOANN'S CABIN - NIGHT) Also, DON'T put actions in parenthesis in the dialogue. And introduce the characters before you give them dialogue. Like when Brad sneaks up on the kids, you don't have to try to scare the reader, just tell what is going on. Write something like (Just then, a man, BRAD, 20's, sneaks up and startles the kids. He stands with his wife, JOANN, 20's, and their baby, CARTER) Also, describe things in present tense as they are happening. Use CAPS when introducing a new character for the first time, and for sounds. (the car EXPLODES) You should also try to refrain from naming your characters named after famous horror icons (Wes, Tobe, Romero, etc.) I'm a big fan as well, but it gets kinda corny. But yeah, keep writing though. Those mistakes are usually common for beginners, so work on those things, and be more original and there you go. I started writing as a senior in high school, so don't feel discouraged. Good luck.

From Joey H Date 4/1/2006 *1/2
Hey man. The story definitely has potential, but the biggest problem with this screenplay is grammar, man. I'm a freshman in high school, but I'm a grammar Nazi, and this was hard to read. Try and avoid sentence fragments, run-ons, misplaced modifiers, changing verb tense (it should always be in present tense). If you can fix that much, then you should learn a bit about script formatting. Read a few scripts at Drew's Script-O-Rama and find out how the professionals format it. The more professional the script looks, the more presentable the script is. However, the script is not beyond repair. I was getting visuals in my head and I can see this being something like the House of Wax or TCM remakes of recent. If you want more help, feel free to e-mail me.

From DRofGOREOLOGY Date 3/31/2006 1/2
A junior in High School??? I would think at this stage in your education you would've taken some "Creative Writing" classes. 1. BE ORIGINAL. This screen play reads like a bad knock-off to "Last House on the Left". 2. Change two of the names of the cons. I don't think Tony Todd and Kelly Stables would like their names referenced as "Baddies". I see your somewhat astute to Horror....but the names MUST be hidden a bit better. (Tony Englund & Kelly Blair for example). 3. If you have time to take a semester of "Creative Writing", if it's offered....JUMP ON IT. I'm sure you can do better. work at it a bit more seriously. what you've offered is Jr. High/Middle School grade. I gave you a 0.5 rating...at least you did something.

From Michael E. Nelson Date 3/25/2006 *
(I am resubmitting this feedback because I think I was logged out before I submitted it last time.) All right, don't let my rating discourage you. As a first attempt at writing a screenplay, I think you managed to slam-dunk the #1 most important thing: moving the story forward, keeping things HAPPENING, and not getting bogged down in endless dialogue. The simple fact that you understand how to keep the action going shows a lot of promise in your abilities! So, keep writing! My first suggestion for improvement ... Spelling, punctuation, and grammar, of course. Second, you use dialogue parentheses much too much. For example, on page 8, Terrence's second line of dialogue is crammed with stage directions. Get those stage directions out of there and put them into the regular narration. It's okay to write a partial line of dialogue, write stage directions on a separate line, and then continue that same person's dialogue under a new header of TERRENECE (CONT'D). It makes the script flow SO much better. Also, remember to always write in present-tense. Write the stage directions as if it's all happening RIGHT NOW, use IS instead of WAS. "I am writing this sentence," rather than "I wrote this sentence." Keep writing!


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