Screenwriter Community |
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by Kevin (Dractyl@gmail.com)
Rated:
Genre: Teen Movies
User Review:
This is a short film on a tough break.
This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
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TOUGH LOVE
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FADE IN:
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INT. JOSH ENTERS CLASS WITH FRIENDS - DAY |
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He glances at Mandy, camera zooms in on her face. |
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JESSE'S FRIENDS
(laughing loudly)
That was a sweet buzzer shot you
made the other day! We finally
have a chance to go to C.I.F.!
You're the man! |
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JESSE'S FRIENDS
(Punching him in
the arm)
Yeah man! People will be talking
about that for a while. |
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JESSE
(Grinning, very
cocky)
Hey, it's what I do! |
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MRS. RENLORE
(Sternly, handing
him a failed test)
Yes, well, getting good grades is
obviously NOT what you do. Josh,
you need to get your act together,
or you may not be able to play
sports anymore. Finals are coming,
study hard. |
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JESSE'S FRIENDS
(Whispering)
Jeez, what side of the bed did she
wake up on? We'll still see you
after school for practice right? |
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JESSE
(Nervously)
I don't know anymore guys, I'm
getting kind of nervous for the
test coming up. It could determine
whether or not I still play. |
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JESSE'S FRIENDS
Aw, c'mon Josh! Don't let her get
to you! |
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2.
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MANDY
(Nervously
approaches)
Hi Josh, listen, I heard you need
help... |
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JESSE'S FRIENDS
(Cruelly)
What! Were u eavesdropping? You're
such a nerd, why don't you just
leave him alone. |
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JESSE
(Getting a little
angry because he
needs her help)
Hey guys, that was uncalled for. |
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JESSE
(Looking at Mandy)
Yeah, thanks, I appreciate it. A
lot. |
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MANDY
(Blushes)
Okay, so I guess I'll see you
after school then? |
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JESSE
(Looking
gratefully)
Fo Sho! |
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Class resumes and Josh promptly falls asleep again. |
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INT. JOSH ENTERS THE LIBRARY - DAY |
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He sees Mandy concentrating on some homework, and heads
towards her. He props up beside her, kind of scaring her,
but not on purpose. |
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JESSE
(Brightly)
Hey! Are you ready to watch my
grade raise?! |
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MANDY
(Suprised)
Oh! Hello, I didn't notice you.
(MORE)
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3.
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MANDY (cont'd)
Let's get to work shall we? What
do you think you need most work
on? |
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Scenes pass by that show Mandy assisting Josh. |
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JESSE
(Happily)
You know, I think I'm actually
starting to get it! You're so much
better than Mrs. Renlore! |
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Josh sees his teacher looking at him close by. |
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JESSE
(Adding hurridly)
Not that shes a bad teacher, she's
very good actually! I just don't
learn good! |
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Mrs. Renlore has a satisfied look on her face. |
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JESSE
Whew, anyway, same time tomorrow? |
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Weeks pass, and Josh's grades improve dramatically much to
the pleasant surprise of his coach and teacher. Finally, one
day, when Josh wants to schedule another study session with
Mandy... |
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JESSE
Hey, so are we gonna meet here
again tomorrow? |
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MANDY
You know Josh, you've come really
far and I think you can pretty
much get along alone now, so I
think that we don't have to really
meet anymore unless you really
need help. |
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JESSE
(Shrugging)
Ok, thanks for your help. |
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4.
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INT. THE NEXT DAY - DAY |
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JESSE'S FRIENDS
Hey, it's been forever since we
chilled! That girl's taking up too
much of your time, studying, of
all things! |
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JESSE
I know! It's fine now, we've
stopped cuz my grade's gone up so
much! |
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JESSE'S FRIENDS
Sweet! We finally don't have to be
nice to her! Look, here comes the
bookworm now! |
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Josh's friends proceed to humiliate her, and all Josh does
is stand by and laugh. She looks at him with betrayed eyes. |
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BELL RINGS FADE INTO
CLASS STARTING |
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Josh is absentmindedly writing Mandy's name all over his
paper with hearts surrounding it. |
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JESSE'S FRIENDS
(Questioning)
Hey, what are you writing? |
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JESSE
(Surprised)
Oh what? Nothing, nothing. |
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Crumples the paper up and throws it away. He sighs deeply.
Suddenly, he brightens up... |
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The camera goes onto a grade that shows an "A," then to "B,"
then to a "C," and stops at a "C-" |
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INT. NEXT DAY - DAY |
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It cuts to scenes of Josh walking up to Mandy repeatedly,
but as soon as he opens his mouth, she quickly walks away,
leaving him behind. Finally, he decides to go to her house
to talk to her. |
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5.
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JESSE
(Apologetic)
Listen Mandy! I'm sorry for the
way I've been acting toward you, I
really am. My grades have been
falling, real fast. I don't think
I'll be able to pull them up
without your help, my coach might
suspend me from the team! |
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MANDY
(Hesitant)
Um. I don't know. |
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JESSE
I really did not mean to hurt
you... |
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MANDY
(Rolls eyes)
Whatever. |
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JESSE
No, really, just listen to me, I
never realized how important you
were to me. Please forgive me? |
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Josh pulls out a single rose. |
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JESSE
If you're the girl I think you
are, then you would take this. |
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MANDY
(Hesitantly)
I can't take that. |
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While saying this, she turns away. Josh grabs her arm
desperately... |
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JESSE
(Exlaims)
Why not?! |
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MANDY
(Coldly)
I stand up for myself when I need
to! I'm not going to give in to
any guy who supposedly "proclaims"
his love for me. |
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Josh's head droops down as she walks away from him. |
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FADE OUT. |
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Feedback |
From Cameron |
Date 7/13/2008 |
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I liked it a lot and I don't know why it got 1 star because I think it should have 4. I mean the plot was a little cheessy and over used but. iloved the ending because it wasnt happy and i like movies that don't always have the PERFECT endings. I think you have the ptiential to be a great writer. ROCK ON!:) |
From Alex |
Date 3/31/2007 |
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Well maybe make more of a point to it, more of a story line. It wasn't that good. And at one point you put "Josh" instead of "Jesse". You need to work on this. I think it should be a happy ending and he should kiss her! People like those corney things sometimes. Especially in a corney script like this. |
From Elizabeth Francois |
Date 1/17/2007 |
0 stars |
The screen play is written in shooting script format, with camera angles and direction. Write the script as a "spec" script instead, unless you're planning on shooting it yourself. I dis-agree with the above comment "study before writing anything else". Keep writing Kevin, while you're learning all technical details. As writers, we should never stop the creative juices when they are flowing. |
From Zach Shevich |
Date 1/16/2007 |
0 stars |
There are a lot of problems with the way you've written this. It is clear that you don't know a lot of the basics of screenwriting, so study that before writing anything else. Otherwise, a lot of your dialouge is awkward and there are a few spelling errors. Additionally, there is not much of a climax or ending. You need to re-work this completely. |
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