Screenwriter Community |
 |
|
|
by Kevin Smith (vincjaswfan@aol.com)
Rated: 
Genre: Comedy
User Review: 
This is a short. A curb your enthusiasm-type episode where a young man goes off on a rant when after his weekly haircut the stylist suggests he's a poor tipper.
This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
|
FADE IN:
|
|
EXT. HAIR CUTTERY - DAY |
|
|
It is an extremely clear and sunny day. Customers walk in
and out of different stores of a local strip mall that
includes a "hair cuttery". Cut to: |
|
|
| |
|
INT. HAIR CUTTERY - DAY |
|
|
VICTOR is checking out afer receiving his weekly haircut. He
hands the stylist his credit card and proceeds to drum on
the counter as he gazes out of the window.
The STYLIST hands back the card and presents a receipt for
VICTOR to sign. He quickly signs it and hands it back. |
|
|
| |
STYLIST (to VICTOR)
(annoyed)
Is that it? You're not going to
put anything else? |
|
|
|
| |
VICTOR
Huh? Oh! Oh my gosh I'm sorry...of
course. |
|
|
|
VICTOR, looking sheepish, proceeds to add a tip to the
calculation. |
|
|
| |
VICTOR
Heh...wow. I'm just in a hurry and
completely forgot that part. |
|
|
|
| |
STYLIST
(annoyed)
Ugh...yeah I'm sure |
|
|
|
VICTOR shocked and appalled by this statement looks around
for reinforcement from other customers standing behind him.
It's almost as if his expression is suggesting they back him
up, for this is purely isolated incident and he in fact, is
an upstanding, good-hearted citizen. |
|
|
| |
VICTOR
What...what was that? |
|
|
|
|
The STYLIST rolls her eyes at VICTOR. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
2.
|
| |
VICTOR
(almost laughing)
I...I really just wasn't thinking
about it. I have a few things to
go do right after this and I just
tried sign and get out. I'm not
trying to gip you, I swear. |
|
|
|
| |
STYLIST
(sarcastically)
Sir, don't worry about it. |
|
|
|
| |
STYLIST
(mumbles)
...asshole |
|
|
|
| |
VICTOR
(enraged)
Exuse me! I did not intend to
forget the tip. I come here every
week and this week I happened to
forget because I have a lot on my
mind. |
|
|
|
| |
VICTOR
(a beat)
Ridiculous! I am a good tipper,
nay, a great tipper! And and
and...I always take care of those
who provide a service for me.
Always!...anyone be it mechanic
or, or...waitress OR HAIR CUTTERY
EMPLOYEE! |
|
|
|
The STYLIST shakes her head in disbelief. The other
employees as well as the customers look on silent and
wide-eyed as they stare at the enraged young man. |
|
|
| |
VICTOR
(redundantly)
Yeah, I do tip well. I tip well no
matter how much of an ungrateful
bitch.....or asshole he or she may
be! |
|
|
|
The MANAGER appears. She is clearly annoyed as she
apparently has heard the entire tangent. |
|
|
| |
MANAGER
Sir, I believe you. Now leave the
store because you have caused a
scene and disrupted the other
customers their hair cuttery
(MORE)
|
|
3.
|
| |
MANAGER (cont'd)
experience. Get out of my store. |
|
|
|
| |
VICTOR
(angry and
offended)
I will! I will leave! I'll find a
new hair...cutting facility. Yes,
where they don't make unbelievable
assumptions about a person's good
will! So fuck you! Good day bitch! |
|
|
|
VICTOR backs out of the store pushing open the door causing
it to swing open violently nearly hitting a woman and her
child. Cut to: |
|
|
| |
|
EXT. HAIR CUTTERY - DAY |
|
|
|
VICTOR, the WOMAN, and CHILD stare at eachother. |
|
|
| |
VICTOR (to child)
(mock lunging at
CHILD)
BAHHHH! |
|
|
|
VICTOR throws his arms up in the air as if to imply a "Oh
well" attitude to his outburst toward the child and walks
away to his car. |
|
|
FADE OUT. |
|
|
|
|
|
| Feedback |
| From Zach Shevich |
Date 10/23/2007 |
|
| It is short, even if it were a scene from Curb Your Enthusiasm (which it does sound like) it should be longer. It did seem forced as well, but it wasn't terribly written. You've got a start, just develop it more. And also, I've never heard someone say "hair cuttery" out loud...just a thought. |
|
|
|
|
| Leave Feedback |
|
You must be logged in to leave feedback. |
|
|
