Screenwriter Community |
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by Moratzo007 (moratzo007@yahoo.com)
Rated: 
Genre: Action/Adventure
User Review: 
A short about a bunch of friends and the territory that belongs to them.
This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
FADE IN:
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INT. SAMS HOUSE - DAY |
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Sam sits under a light. The house is empty. He is talking on
his cell phone. |
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SAM
Can you pick me up?... Okay see ya
soon. |
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EXT. SAMS HOUSE - NIGHT |
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Sam runs out to the car. |
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EXT. STREETS - NIGHT |
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This will be a montage of friends being picked up in the
car. |
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INT. CHRISTOPHE'S BACK ROOM - NIGHT |
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Four guys gaze into the TV while playing Rock Band. |
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TIM
Dude... I'm soooo hungry. |
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CHRISTOPHE
Dude what? Come on it's so early. |
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JESSE
Well were not doing anything.
Let's go. |
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SAM
Yeah I'm hungry let's go. |
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They exit, Christophe last. |
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EXT. DINER - NIGHT |
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Establishment shot. We see the boys enter. |
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2.
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SAM (VO)
So it's only eight thirty on a
Friday night and we're here at the
diner. I know... a pretty lame
start to the evening, but trust
me... it gets better. |
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INT. DINER - NIGHT |
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The four men enter, greet PETER, the host at the door. After
scanning the diner for people and noticing the emptiness of
the place, they find a table in the corner, across the room
from a group of four teenagers. |
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We now freeze on individual shots in the diner. |
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SAM (VO)
So let's set the scene.
Eight-thirty friday night. My boys
walk in. We got Tim, Jesse, and
Christophe. That's Peter, the
host. He's from Argentina.
Lorenzo, the waiter who enjoys
talking about his underwear and
how much he'd like to fuck our
girlfriends. This is the Diner,
our safe haven, a home away from
home. The water here is rumored to
have brewed from the finest tips
of angel wings... Outside we could
have the cops running after us,
but in here we're safe... But
tonight this haven doesn't feel so
safe. Sitting in that booth is
Tool. He's got a bunch of
nicknames - Sand, Razor - but in
our town we just call him Tool. He
and his friends are from a town
over and they think it's
appropriate for them to just come
to our diner. Like they fucking
own the place. |
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There is clearly some tension as the four boys and the
Tool's table which has two girl and two guys sitting down.
Nevertheless, the four boys take the booth across from
Tool's.
There is a table of two girls in between the two tables. |
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JESSE
What are they doing here? |
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3.
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Misha enters the diner. He walks towards the boys in the
corner. He approaches the two tables and shoots Tool's kids
a look. He then trips, his glasses spiral off. |
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TOOL
Little Einstien lost his glasses?
Oh what a little bitch. |
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Tool enjoys a good laugh with his buddies. Misha looks
embarrassed as Jesse, Sam, Tim and Christophe all shoot
glances at Tool. |
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SAM
Hey Tool what the fuck are you
doing here? You know this place is
residents-only. |
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TOOL
Oh well look who the fuck it is.
How's that chick I fucked? Her ass
still sore? |
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Sam gets out of the booth. As he is approaching... |
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SAM
You wanna repeat what you just
said about my sister? |
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Tool gets up and meets Sam head on. |
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TOOL
I asked if she was okay after I
ass-raped her last month. |
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They start shoving each other. Quickly, both booths empty.
Lorenzo approaches quickly, with Peter nearby. Lorenzo
stands between them. |
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LORENZO
Hey listen ass-wipe, you wanna
fight take it outside. Not over
our food.
(to Sam's friends)
You know better guys... go
siddown.
(to Tool's friends)
You guys get the fuck outta here. |
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4.
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TOOL
Hey listen polar bear, we haven't
even starting eating yet. |
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LORENZO
Get the fuck out of here. |
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Tool shoves Lorenzo as he walks by him. His friends walk
behind him. They get to the front desk. Tool's friends exit
before he does. |
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Sam and his friends go and sit back down at the booth, Sam
sits facing the entrance to the diner. |
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Sam and Tool share a long stare before Tool exits. Lorenzo
brings over Tool's food and lays it on the table. |
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LORENZO
What are you guys thinking? You
know better than that. |
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Lorenzo continues talking, but after a few seconds Sam gets
up and exits the diner. |
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EXT. DINER - NIGHT |
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Sam jumps down the stairs and begins looking around. He
quickly makes his way to the parking lot. He can see Tool's
four friends already peeling out in the parking lot to the
shopping center.
He is clearly frustrated and fired up. He looks back
longingly at the diner. He begins walking back inside.
After he takes a step he is hit but the front end of car. He
lays on his side on top of the hood of a car.
Someone quickly comes over, turns him over and nails him in
the balls. He falls to his knees where he gets kneed in the
chin.
Another person joins in and grabs Sam by his arms and drag
him into the car. |
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INT. CAR - NIGHT |
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Sam looks around but things aren't looking straight. He eyes
are quickly covered up by a bandanna and we go BLACK. |
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5.
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EXT. OUTSIDE - NIGHT |
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The next montage will come in this order:
Someone turning on a radio and a piece of loud, heavy metal
music playing.
Different parts of the car. The wheels moving. The mirrors.
(TO BE DECIDED) |
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INT. CAR - NIGHT |
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FADE IN |
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It is dark. We are looking straight at Sam. He is yanked out
of the car. |
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EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT |
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We are looking at pitch black darkness. We hear the sound of
a garage opening. Then, footsteps. We begin hearing noise of
a party, muffled between a wall.
There is a sound of a door opening. Then, the party noise
swells and becomes very loud. |
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INT. HOUSE - NIGHT |
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It is still black. There is a large pound as if someone has
hit the floor hard. Someone yells and people begin
screaming.
Someone removes the bandanna. We look at Sam, kneeling on
the ground, someone above him grabbing him by the hair. We
see the room now for the first time.
There is alcohol everywhere. The room is filled with about
fifteen kids, almost all of them wearing black.
Sam looks very beaten, these people are throwing all this
crap at him.
He tries to break free but fails. He is let go after
flailing around for a few seconds before being thrown to the
ground.
He looks up and he looks disoriented. Someone from the party
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comes up to him and begins shouting in his face. The
dialogue is not important because Sam can not hear anything. |
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PARTY PERSON 1
What are we gonna do with him? |
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PARTY PERSON 2
Give it to him. Downstairs. |
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There is a shouting of direction and Sam is yanked once
again and dragged across the room to a flight of stairs.
Sam looks down them briefly before his captor throws him
down. |
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INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT |
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Sam hits the ground hard. He lays there face down. People
begin trampling down the stairs. The first person comes and
grabs Sam by the arms and drags him to a chair positioned in
the middle of the room.
He sits upright in the chair while his hands are tied behind
his back. There are more people coming down the stairs,
standing around him, lining up along the wall. |
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TOOL
(approaching Sam)
Hey there little buddy. How you
feeling? |
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Tool punches Sam in the gut. |
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TOOL
Trust me, all this physical abuse
was just the appetizer. Now it's
time for the main course. |
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Tool slaps Sam across the face. His head falls limply to the
side.
Tool walks away and now approaching Sam is someone else,
another boy.
The people standing against the wall begin chuckling. |
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NAKED BOY
Hey there sugar lips. How you
feeling tonight? |
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Sam spits at the boy. This boy then knees Sam in the chin.
Sam is weak. |
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7.
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NAKED BOY
Hope you're ready for this. It
took me seven hours to prepare. |
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Naked Boy begins un-dressing. First his shirt comes off.
Then his socks. As he is removing his pants, Sam begins
screaming, eyes wide.
Quickly, someone comes from behind Sam and ties a gag into
his mouth.
Naked Boy continues. The drunken hoard of kids along the
wall begin shouting loudly.
Once Naked Boy gets down into his boxers, he comes over to
Sam. He removes his shoes, then socks. Sam is beginning to
cry. Naked Boy takes notice. |
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NAKED BOY
Oh he's crying. I'm sorry... I'm
sure I can cheer you up. |
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Naked Boy punches Sam in the head. Sam's chair falls back
onto the concrete. However, Naked Boy immediately picks the
chair up and puts it back on its legs.
Sock-less, Naked Boy now moves in for Sam's pants. He begins
tugging at them. |
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Everyone is frozen. After a beat, everyone begins running up
the stairs at once.
Sam sits there, bleeding and helpless. Tool comes over and
looks him in the eye. |
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Tool takes a step back and then kicks Sam hard in the chest.
He slides backs and crashes into a desk. Sam's weight then
lands him on the ground sideways, helpless. Tool comes over
and kicks him once more in the gut. |
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TOOL
Tell your sister that I'm coming
back for seconds. |
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He exits. Sam lays there. There is a long silence, then
footsteps coming from upstairs.
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Sam begins to wriggle around, but cannot free his hands. He
is crying and the footsteps are getting louder.
Just then, there is a breaking of the window above.
Shattered glass falls down alongside Sam. We pan up to see
Tim up in the window.
Tim comes in first, follow by Christophe. They quickly jump
down and begin un-tying Sam's ropes.
Once free, Sam tries to stand but is too weak. The footsteps
are getting louder. Sam exerts all his energy and gets up on
the desk and Tim gives him a place to put his feet. From
outside, Jesse pulls Sam through.
Tim hops out next, then Christophe comes out just as soon as
the cop is coming down. |
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INT. DINER - NIGHT |
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Sam and his friends sit in the same booth. Sam leans against
the wall, clearly beaten. They are drinking water. |
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A pause. Then, they all erupt with laughter. |
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FADE OUT. |
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| Feedback |
| From Nick Hanks |
Date 4/3/2008 |
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| I didn't like it. I know alot of people hate me on here but I gotta be honest. When you're honest it helps the screenwriter get better at his craft. When you yes them to death and tell them it's all great when it isn't, it doesn't help them. It cripples them and keeps them behind. Sorry buddy, keep writing and get some literature on screenwriting. |
| From Ray Hyland |
Date 3/21/2008 |
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| Very good work, I think you should flesh it out a bit more because the gang sound like an interesting bunch. Maybe do a few more scripts this length based either before or after this story. |
| From Jason Whitmore |
Date 3/5/2008 |
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| I agree with Ryan... great work give us more! |
| From Ryan Malloy |
Date 2/27/2008 |
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| I like the story. I never really knew where it was goind, and it had a good twist at the end. Some of the dialogue between Sam and Tool seemed unnatural. It was unclear if this was because you wanted it to sound abnormal or if you just didn't reread it. My only concern with making this movie is that all the character names are real. It's easier to play a different character than it is to play yourself. |
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