Home Screenwriting Products Screenwriter Community Screenwriting Store
ScriptBuddy - Screenwriting Software for the Web

Screenwriter Community

Back to List of Published Screenplays
View/Leave Feedback

Looks Like We Made It (First Draft - Draft A)
by Lawrence W. Jones III (gtas@live.com)

Rated: PG   Genre: Teen Movies   User Review: *1/2


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

EXT. MIDDLE SCHOOL - DAY
                                                            
A car comes in front of the school. ERICKA, a 13-year-old
8th grader, exits her car.
                                                            
                       ERICKA'S MOTHER
Bye sweetie! Have a nice day at
school.
                                                            
ERICKA shuts the door. The car drives away. She enters the
school gates. She walks over to her friends SHARRON, TAYLOR,
SHELBY and ORLANDO.
                                                            
                       ALL FRIENDS
Hi Ericka.
                                                            
They go back to their conversation.
                                                            
                       SHARRON
Jack is so modest!
                                                            
                       ERICKA
      (Laughing)
Yeah, that is funny.
                                                            
                       SHELBY
It wasn't supposed to be funny.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
Face it Ericka, you like Jack!
                                                            
                       ERICKA
No! I don't!
                                                            
                       ORLANDO
You do! Shut up and face the
truth!
                                                            
                       ERICKA
You guys, I'm not-.
                                                            
GARRET, a tough, skinny boy approaches Ericka, tapping her
shoulder. She reacts pushing him down. She turns and sees
him.
                                                            
                       ERICKA
Ops! I'm sorry. I thought you were
someone else.
                                                            

2.

                       GARRET
It's OK. My name's Garret and I'm
new here at the school.
                                                            
                       ALL FRIENDS
Hi Garret!
                                                            
                       GARRET
      (To Self)
Man, these guys are weird.
      (To group)
I was going to ask, where's the
room 133?
                                                            
                       ERICKA
It's over there.
                                                            
Ericka points to the door she stands next to. Garret groans.
                                                            
                       GARRET
Great...
                                                            
Garret hits Ericka at her head.
                                                            
                       ERICKA
Ow! What the hell was that for?
                                                            
                       GARRET
abusing me!
                                                            
                       ERICKA
Who's abusing who?
                                                            
Ericka and Garret look at each other intensely. Soon enough,
the bell rings for first block.
                                                            
                       PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN
The bell rang you two go to class.
                                                            
Ericka and Garret enter the classroom.
                                                            
 
INT. MR. RODGEN'S CLASS - DAY
                                                            
Ericka sits at her desk. Garret stands in the front of the
classroom.
                                                            
                       MR. RODGEN
All right class, this is our new
student Garret... Garret Fulovit!
                                                            
(Pronounced "full-of-it")
                                                            

3.

                       BOB
He, he! His last name's Fulovit!
                                                            
                       ROB
You have that last name because,
when you were born, your parents
gave you that last name!
                                                            
The class laughs.
                                                            
                       MR. RODGEN
That's funny. Now, go sit next to
Ericka.
                                                            
Mr. Rodgen pushes Garret to go to the desk. Garret walks
over to the seat next to Ericka that is empty and sits in
it.
                                                            
                       GARRET
      (In despise)
Ericka.
                                                            
                       ERICKA
Garret.
                                                            
She hits Garret.
                                                            
                       KATIE
Do you guys like each other?
                                                            
                       ERICKA
No.
                                                            
                       GARRET
Hell no.
                                                            
                       KATIE
I am surprised, cheating on Jack.
                                                            
                       ERICKA
Me and Jack are not even dating!
                                                            
ERICKA hits GARRET for his response. GARRET hit her back.
Soon they were hitting each other.
                                                            
                       MR. RODGEN
Hey you two! Stop hitting on each
other!
                                                            
                       BOB
They're hitting on each other!
                                                            

4.

                       ROB
You guys are hitting on each other
because when you first meet, you
liked each other!
                                                            
The class laughs.
                                                            
                       MR. RODGEN
That never gets old.
                                                            
Ericka and Garret look at each other smiling.
                                                            
 
EXT. MIDDLE SCHOOL - DAY
                                                            
Garret and Ericka race to the lunch line. Garret hits her.
Ericka pushes him into a tree.

At the field during P.E., Ericka and Garret hit one another,
pushing, slapping, etc.

It's after school. Ericka rushes to her car as Garret
frantically chases after her, pushing people out the way.
The enters her car and her mother drives away. Garret runs
after the car but the car outruns him.
                                                            
ERICKA'S CAR
                                                            
Her mother is driving the car. Ericka relaxes. The radio
plays.
                                                            
                       ERICKA'S MOTHER
Oh, who's that?
                                                            
                       ERICKA
It's just Garret.
                                                            
She turns off the radio.
                                                            
                       ERICKA'S MOTHER
What ever happened to Jack? I
thought you liked him.
                                                            
                       ERICKA
He kept harassing me, Mom.
                                                            
                       ERICKA'S MOTHER
Sure...
                                                            
                                         FADE TO:
                                                            
 

5.

EXT. MIDDLE SCHOOL - DAY
                                                            
Ericka exits her car.
                                                            
                       ERICKA'S MOTHER
Bye sweetie! Have a nice day at
school!
                                                            
Ericka walks into the school. She reaches her friends.
                                                            
                       SHARRON
Aren't you going to say hello to
your boyfriend?
                                                            
JACK, a small, nerd-like kid, makes is lips ready for a
kiss.
                                                            
                       ERICKA
Shut up Sharron! I still have to
deal with Garret.
                                                            
Ericka gets hit in the head with a football.
                                                            
                       ERICKA (CONT'D)
Garret!
                                                            
Garret runs to her and pulls out a dollar bill from his
pocket.
                                                            
                       GARRET
This should clear your troubles.
                                                            
Ericka looks at the ripped and torn dollar bill and takes
it.
                                                            
                       ERICKA
Be more considerate next time
instead of this five dollar bribe.
                                                            
Jack snatches the dollar bill from Ericka.
                                                            
                       JACK
Ericka will not accept this..!
This..! Bribe of yours.
                                                            
                       ERICKA
I can speak for myself Jack.
                                                            
                       JACK
I got this.
                                                            
Jack tears up the dollar and throws the shreds at Jack.
                                                            

6.

                       JACK (CONT'D)
I am going to tell Mr. Blackman!
                                                            
(Pronounced "black-mon")
                                                            
                       ERICKA
No don't.
                                                            
Jack walks over to PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN, a bald
African-American man.
                                                            
 
INT. MR. BLACKMAN'S OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Mr. Blackman sits at his desk. Ericka and Garret sit in the
chairs in front of his desk.
                                                            
                       PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN
So, do you know why you two are
here today?
                                                            
                       ERICKA
Principal Blackman.
                                                            
(Pronounced "black-man")
                                                            
                       PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN
Blackman!
                                                            
(Pronounced "blackmon")
                                                            
                       ERICKA
Yes. It was an accident. I was in
the way.
                                                            
                       PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN
An accident! You were near a
classroom. They shouldn't have
been playing football in that area
anyways! So, I'll let you two off
with a warning. Now go to class!
                                                            
 
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
                                                            
Ericka and Garret exit the office.
                                                            
                       ERICKA
Why did you do that?
                                                            
                       GARRET
I guess that's my way of telling
you I love you.
                                                            

7.

                       ERICKA
Me too. Me too.
                                                            
They draw their lips to each other and kiss. Jack watches at
a distance.
                                                            
                                         DISSOLVE TO:
                                                            
SUPERIMPOSE: "One week later"
                                                            
                                         DISSOLVE TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. MIDDLE SCHOOL - DAY
                                                            
Ericka exits her car. The car leaves. Ericka walks to her
friends. Ericka and Garret hold one another. The friends
look puzzled.
                                                            
                       SHARRON
You actually don't like Jack?
                                                            
                       ERICKA
I tell you that everyday! Now you
believe me!
                                                            
                       KATIE
You know, when Jack finds out-.
                                                            
Jack's sniffles are heard.
                                                            
                       ERICKA
Shut up! Get away from me. From
now on, we are casual
acquaintances.
                                                            
                       JACK
I-. I-.
                                                            
                       ERICKA
Don't say you love me.
                                                            
Jack runs away. The friends look troubled at Jack and back
at Ericka and Garret.
                                                            
                       ERICKA
It looks like we made it! I am
finally happy.
                                                            
They draw their lips together and kiss.
                                                            


FADE OUT.


Back to Top of Page
Leave Feedback
Feedback
From Justin D. Miller Date 3/22/2008 ***
I loved it. Its hard to read and I didn't care about the characters or know anything about them, but thats why I loved it. A perfect skit comedy. I think you should rework it a little and shoot it for youtube. Good luck. Keep up the good work.

From Cameron Date 3/16/2008 **
I loved the story line but I thought some things did not make sence like how they hit echother. I thought some of it was random but you should make it longer. It will make a good romance and it should be rated PG-13.

From Bradley Ferguson Date 3/11/2008 *
Those teachers need to get control of their school.

From Kyle Squyres Date 3/11/2008 *
Sorry, but this is kinda pointless. There is no tension or build up. There are several typos in the script, i.e. "Jack tears up the dollar and throws the shreds at Jack" Build up the characters more. Why do we care if Ericka gets with Garret or not? Good luck, it's a decent start to a love story.

From Zach Shevich Date 3/9/2008 0 stars
None of the dialog sounds realistic. My suggestion is to read it aloud (or better yet have someone read it aloud to you) and listen to whether or not you think an actual person would say it. Additionally, the jokes (for the most part) are completely unfunny. The closest to a funny joke is the "Black-man" "Black-mon" thing which is an overused type of joke. The storyline is stupid and unbelievable. There's nothing to suggest these two would fall for one another, and the whole relationship thing with Jack is unexplained and nonsensical. A lot of work is needed...


Back to Top of Page
Leave Feedback
You must be logged in to leave feedback.
Home    My Account    Products    Screenwriter Community    Screenwriter's Corner    Help
Forgot Your Password?    Privacy Policy    Copyright 2024, ScriptBuddy LLC.    Email help@scriptbuddy.com