Screenwriter Community |
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by Alexander Ramirez (Alram1988@aol.com)
Rated: 
Genre: Comedy
User Review: 
SHORT FILM. A fed-up restaurant worker embraces violent fantasies in order to get through his endless shifts.
This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
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INT. RICKY'S BEDROOM - DAY |
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An irritating alarm clock BUZZES like a million electronic
hornets. RICKY (aged 22) stirs from his slumber and swats at
the clock until he smashes the CACOPHONY to an abrupt halt. |
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He lays back on his mussed bed and stares mournfully at the
ceiling. He GROANS: |
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RICKY
I don't wanna go to work. |
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QUICK CUTS of Ricky preparing for work: |
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- He dons a pair of eyeglasses. |
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- He buttons up a white dress shirt. |
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- He rolls a lint remover over his black apron and slacks. |
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- He ties a pair of black no-slip restaurant sneakers. |
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- He pushes up the slipknot of a tie TIGHT around his NECK. |
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- His hand snatches keys from a coffee table. |
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EXT. APARTMENT COMPLEX - DAY |
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Ricky walks out his door stuffing a granola bar down his
throat and strikes down the pathway. A YOUNG WOMAN carrying
laundry approaches from the opposite direction. |
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YOUNG WOMAN
Ricky, you go back in this early?
When you gonna just quit? |
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They pass each other. |
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INT. RICKY'S SEDAN (MOVING) - DAY |
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Ricky psyches himself up, bobbing his head to the RADIO and
mouthing along with the words as he drives. |
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2.
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INT. BAR & GRILL - BAR AREA - DAY |
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Small. Family owned. Tacky. A few patrons litter the
area. Ricky pushes through the front entrance and strikes
toward the back. |
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Ricky stops dead in his tracks and does a slow burn toward
the BARTENDER (40), who regards him SMUGLY. |
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BARTENDER
Hey, Lina wants to see you in the
office when you get a second. I
told you. |
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The bartender shrugs. |
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RICKY
Really? You don't like the way I
set up the plates on the table so
you told on me? |
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BARTENDER
Hey, I'm not gonna argue. Don't
make me argue. She just said to
send you in. |
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RICKY
You're not gonna argue because you
don't have an argument. There's
nothing wrong with how I set up.
It's my way. I'm the busser. |
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The bartender shuffles over to Ricky at the end of the bar,
leans in, whispers: |
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BARTENDER
Hey! There are customers. I'm
not gonna argue, she just wants to
see you. Be professional. |
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Ricky stares an antagonistic hole through the bartender as
he walks back down the bar, nose in the air, to serve a new
set of customers who've just hopped on the stools. |
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MALE CUSTOMER (O.C.)
Excuse me, boss. |
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3.
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Ricky turns to a genial, middle-aged MALE CUSTOMER with a
ridiculous ponytail. The man drops his fat hand on Ricky's
shoulder and smiles. |
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MALE CUSTOMER
If I were a bathroom, where would
I be? |
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The male customer GUFFAWS at his own joke. Ricky snaps out
of his moody stare and lets loose the fakest, most sarcastic
BELT OF LAUGHTER in the history of comedy. |
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The male customer doesn't catch on that he's being mocked
and continues to HOWL mirthfully. |
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BEGIN FANTASY |
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Ricky - without his glasses on - whips out a DESERT EAGLE
and literally blows the male customer's BRAINS OUT. Blood
and matter SPLASH into Ricky's face. |
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END FANTASY |
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Ricky still has his glasses on in reality. He speaks in a
phony RESTAURANT VOICE when addressing customers: |
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RICKY
Past the bar, take a left. |
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MALE CUSTOMER
Oh, there, now I see the sign.
Thank you, boss! |
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RICKY
Yes, my pleasure, sir. Right in
front of your face! And that was
a good one! ... Good joke. |
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The male customer is off to the restroom. Ricky's fake
restaurant personality disappears in a hurry. |
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INT. KITCHEN - DAY |
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COOKS are busy on the grill. Ricky says hello to them in
SPANISH. The cute hostess, MIA (22), is in the area. |
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MIA
'Sup, dude. Ready for another
exciting day? |
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4.
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Ricky clocks in at a bank of computers, collecting his time
slip as the machine spits it out. He shakes his head at
Mia. |
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RICKY
I have to go see Lina in the
office right now.
(motions toward
the bar)
I think he bitched me out. |
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MIA
Are you serious? For your
settings? What a fag, they always
look nice! |
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Ricky shrugs. |
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RICKY
Maybe she'll fire me and I'll
finally be forced to leave here
and stop complaining to you all
the time. Maybe this is what I've
been waiting for. |
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MIA
That would be looking at the
bright side. Don't leave me
though, Justin's been getting on
my nerves already. He came up -- |
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-- JUSTIN (29), a waiter, enters the kitchen. |
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Ricky nods to Justin in acknowledgment. Mia smiles wide at
Ricky, embarrassed. |
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RICKY
(to Mia)
I'm gonna go get fired now. |
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INT. LINA'S OFFICE - DAY |
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Cramped. More like a closet than an office. Lina (55) sits
at the computer desk cradling a well-tended Pomeranian and
speaks with a heavy EASTERN EUROPEAN accent. Her curvy
daughter AMANDA (25) hovers behind her, chewing gum loudly. |
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Ricky stands in the doorway. |
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5.
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LINA
Ricky, we have to cut hours down a
little bit. Just for now. |
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LINA
Starting next week, you don't come
in Friday. Just to see what it's
like. Sorry. Just for a little
while, okay? |
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RICKY
Lina, Friday's the busiest day.
That's when I make the most tips.
I have bills. If I lose Friday,
then I'm down to only working two
days a week. I had five days back
when I first started. |
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LINA
We need to do it. I'm sorry, but
it was Ed's decision. I'm just
telling you, so don't argue. |
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BEGIN FANTASY |
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Ricky's glasses are inexplicably gone again. Lina and
Amanda can't hear what he is saying. |
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RICKY
Fuck Ed, that coward can't ever
tell us anything to our faces
himself. |
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LINA
Ed knows what he's doing. |
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RICKY
Ed cheats on you every weekend. He
takes the barflies in here out on
his boat and bangs the fat
bitches. |
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LINA
Amanda's not going to be working
as many hours here either. |
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6.
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RICKY
I fucked Amanda last year. On a
slow night, we went out into the
dry storage shed, and I found out
your daughter's a screamer. |
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LINA
Don't get upset like you do. If
you don't like it, you know you're
all replacable. |
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RICKY
You could never replace me. I
break my fucking back cleaning
these tables. |
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LINA
So, it's just gonna be till we
figure things out. |
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RICKY
I've been working here for three
fucking years ... |
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RICKY
... And I still haven't been
promoted to server. |
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RICKY
I'm still waiting to wait tables. |
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Ricky explodes toward Lina, snatches the Pomeranian out of
her arms, and beats the tiny dog to DEATH against the wall. |
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END FANTASY |
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Ricky's glasses are on. He hangs his head. |
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INT. DISHWASHING AREA - DAY |
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Ricky exits the office. Mia approaches him with a red
bucket. |
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7.
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Ricky shakes his head. |
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MIA
Good! Could you change the water
and towels, please? I was gonna
do it for you, but I have people
waiting to be seated at the
hostess stand. |
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He accepts the bucket. |
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Mia smiles and jogs away. Ricky looks back at the closed
office door. |
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INT. WALK-IN REFRIGERATOR - DAY |
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Ricky snatches two long-neck beers off the shelf. |
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EXT. SECLUDED STORAGE AREA - DAY |
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Ricky refills the bucket with blue solution from the spigot
as he finishes off the first beer. |
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He cracks open the second beer and kills it in one mighty
swig. |
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INT. DINING FLOOR - DAY |
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An elderly FEMALE CUSTOMER waves Ricky over to her booth. As
Ricky approaches, he notices that she is dining with the
same ponytailed male customer from earlier. |
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MALE CUSTOMER
(shit-eating grin)
Hey there, boss. |
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BEGIN FANTASY |
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Ricky - no glasses - pulls out his DESERT EAGLE and blows
the male customer's face off again. |
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8.
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END FANTASY |
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Ricky - glasses back on - reapplies his fake restaurant
voice: |
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RICKY
Hello, what can I do. |
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FEMALE CUSTOMER
This steak sandwich is too red. |
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MALE CUSTOMER
(shit-eating grin)
Could you just have them throw
that back on there for a second,
boss? |
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BEGIN FANTASY |
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Ricky - no glasses - pulls the trigger of his DESERT EAGLE. |
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END FANTASY |
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RICKY
No problem, boss! Sorry about
that. Here, let me take it back
for you, ma'am. It'll be just a
second. How would you like it
cooked then? Medium? |
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FEMALE CUSTOMER
No, I asked for rare. |
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Ricky considers the redness of the piece of steak. |
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RICKY
Well, that's rare there. Medium
rare, then? |
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FEMALE CUSTOMER
No, rare. I just didn't want it
that red in the middle. |
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Ricky forces an insincere smile. |
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RICKY
Oh, I see. One second then. |
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Ricky walks away. |
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MALE CUSTOMER (O.C.)
Thanks again, boss! |
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9.
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INT. KITCHEN - DAY |
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Ricky slides the plate across the cook's station. |
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RICKY
She wants it cooked medium now. |
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INSERT - THE STEAK |
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is slapped back down on the grill. |
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INT. DINING FLOOR - DAY |
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Ricky collects dirty cups and utensils from a vacated table
and balances them on his tray. |
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INT. KITCHEN - DAY |
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INSERT - THE STEAK |
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is peeled off the skillet. |
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INT. DINING FLOOR - DAY |
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Ricky sets the steak before the elderly female customer in
the booth. |
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The female customer shoves her finger in the piece of meat. |
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FEMALE CUSTOMER
There's still a lot of blood ... |
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RICKY
Oh, I'm sorry. Back on the grill,
then? |
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FEMALE CUSTOMER
No, no, I'll just - no, I need to
eat something before I starve
here. I guess I'll just have to
make do with this. |
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RICKY
If there's anything I can do -- |
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10.
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FEMALE CUSTOMER
-- Actually, I don't think I can
even sit here anymore. This air
conditioning vent is blowing right
down on us in this booth. |
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MALE CUSTOMER
Well we could move somewhere else.
Could you help us move, boss? |
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FEMALE CUSTOMER
Yes, it's freezing. My sweater
isn't helping at all. |
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BEGIN FANTASY |
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Ricky's glasses DO NOT disappear. |
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RICKY
You're not freezing you old,
dried-up whore. That's just the
cold embrace of death coming for
you, because you've outlived your
welcome on earth. |
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Ricky grabs the steak and SLAMS it in the female customer's
face. He reaches for his imaginary desert eagle and points
his fingers at the male customer in the shape of a gun. |
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END FANTASY |
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The steak slides down the female customer's face. The male
customer stares bug-eyed at Ricky's posed fingers. |
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Justin, Lina, and every other CUSTOMER peppering the tables
in the dining room freeze in UTTER ASTONISHMENT. Ricky
realizes ... |
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MALE CUSTOMER
-- What the hell is going on
here?! Are you out of your mind?! |
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The female customer begins to CRY; Lina rushes over to
console her. The male customer hops out of his seat. |
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11.
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MALE CUSTOMER
(to Ricky)
What's your name, young man!
What's your name!
(to Lina)
I want his job for this! |
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Ricky's head perks up. He SMILES. |
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LINA
(to male customer)
Of course!
(to Ricky)
Get out of here. What's wrong
with you? Just get out. You're a
disgusting person! |
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The male customer tends to the female customer alongside
Lina. Ricky stands his ground. |
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MALE CUSTOMER
Just get out of here before I do
something about it. |
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RICKY
What are you gonna do? Hit me
with your ponytail? I'd call you
a gay Steven Seagal if it wasn't
so obvious that you're dating your
grandmother. |
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The male customer stumbles over a retort. Ricky picks up
the pace: |
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RICKY (cont'd)
(to the female
customer)
Yeah, you, old bitch. I'm sorry I
threw steak in your face on
accident. You're still an old
bitch. |
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All eyes are on Ricky. He turns to Lina. |
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RICKY (cont'd)
Lina: Maybe your restaurant would
run smoother if you respected your
employees, stopped illegally going
into the computers to change our
overtime hours to regular hours,
so your wealthy ass doesn't have
(MORE)
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12.
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RICKY (cont'd)
to pay double-time and you can buy
more pussy-ass dogs. Also, if
your husband wasn't fucking all
the customers and your daughter
wasn't fucking all the men you
hire, that would help too. |
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Ricky throws a "thumbs-up" to Justin. Justin smiles
briefly, then catches himself and shakes his head, "no." |
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RICKY
(addressing the
floor)
You other customers in here, most
of you are regulars and pretty
cool. Justin, dude, you need to
get off of Mia's nuts. I'm not
waiting for shit ever again. |
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Ricky turns away, sliding off his glasses, and glides coolly
down the hallway toward the bar area. |
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Cooks emerge from the kitchen to give Ricky high-fives as he
passes. Amanda emerges from the dishwashing area; Ricky
SMACKS her on the ass as he struts by. |
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INT. BAR AREA - DAY |
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The bartender stares at Ricky as he enters, shaking his head
in supreme disapproval. Ricky steps to the bartender and
launches a compact RIGHT CROSS, rendering him unconscious. |
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Ricky redirects his momentum from the punch and gracefully
spins toward Mia at the hostess stand. He wraps her in a
picturesque embrace and KISSES her passionately. |
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He continues out the front entrance. |
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EXT. BAR & GRILL - DAY |
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Ricky meets the sunshine. He opens his arms and smiles. |
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INT. RICKY'S BEDROOM - DAY |
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The irritating alarm clock EXPLODES again and again as Ricky
hammers away at it with a Louisville Slugger. |
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THE END |
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| Feedback |
| From Sean |
Date 7/28/2010 |
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| Great script. You really know how to drag in a reader. You made me laugh a bunch of times throughout, and that's a good thing, cause you really have to tell a good joke or doing something really funny to make me laugh. Keep up the good work! |
| From Miguel Perez |
Date 7/18/2010 |
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| Yo this is awesome I want more dude. This was funny as hell. |
| From Roman Monroe |
Date 7/9/2010 |
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| Great little script! You can definitely produce this one on your own in virtually any restaurant. Well done, I enjoy a wicked sense of humor. |
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