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by Erik Baker
Rated:
Genre: Comedy
User Review: NOT YET RATED
Just a short practice skit based on all the lame anti-drug after school specials.
This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
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BROWNBAG PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT
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FADE IN:
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EXT. PARK - DAY |
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The scene opens with two guys in their mid twenties sitting
on a bench in the park, listening to a boom box, smoking a
cigar joint of weed, and cutting up with each other. JAMES,
a chubby white guy, jumps into frame from out of no where
and lands right in front of them. |
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JAMES
Sup Bros? Would either one of you
know where I could score some
cocaine in rock form, or perhaps
some meth amphetamine? I have this
used needle I found so I can
liquify and mainline them into my
anus. |
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BLACK GUY
Nah Bruh. That stuff is wack yo. |
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WHITE GUY
That stuff is wack yo. I have this
cousin who tried meth once for
three straight years. A week
later, his penis and balls got
disentary... |
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WHITE GUY pulls out a jar with a penis and balls floating
around in liquid, then looks into the camera. |
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WHITE GUY
... and rotted off. |
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BLACK GUY
(Serious ominous
tone)
Why the hell you still carring
that around for? |
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WHITE GUY looks straight into the camera. |
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2.
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JAMES
Wow, I never realized the risks
and ramifications of my current
actions bruhs. |
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BLACK GUY
Maybe you should stop using, no
better time then the now. |
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JAMES
That sounds like the most
reasonable solution, but
unfortunatly it's too late for
me... I'm hooked. |
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Both BLACK and WHITE GUY turn and stare at each other and
nod. |
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BLACK GUY
(Serious)
I had a cousin who was hooked
once. He used to be your typical
everyday guy; he had a job, kids,
a wife. But he lost it all. |
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JAMES
Lost it all because of meth? |
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BLACK GUY
No... Gas leak. |
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JAMES nods as if he understands then gets confused and
squints his eyes. |
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BLACK GUY
Anyway, he was never the same
after that... At least not until
he he fell in love with the
sweetest lady around. |
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BLACK GUY takes a hit of the blunt he is holding, looks up
at JAMES, holds up the joint, and blows out the smoke. |
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BLACK GUY
Sweet, sweet Jane. |
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3.
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BLACK GUY
Shut the fuck up white boy. |
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WHITE GUY
Yeeea white boy. |
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BLACK GUY
After he started puffin the cheeb
he turned his whole life around.
Got a job at the M&M plant,
adopted a blind, mute kid so he
dosen't have to pay any taxes, and
married a white woman. Now he's
just livin' the dream. |
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BLACK GUY takes another drag from his blunt. |
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JAMES
I'm tired of my butt-hole hurting
all the time from constant sexual
favors I have to perform when I
run out of money for my sweet
daddy crank, could I try that...
and possibly get my life back on
track? |
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JAMES reaches for the blunt and BLACK GUY hands it to him. |
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BLACK GUY
Sho nigga knock yaself out. |
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JAMES takes a big drag and starts to cough. |
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BLACK and WHITE GUY both walk up in unison behind JAMES and
lean on his shoulders, |
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JAMES
Wow... I never wanna suck a dick
for a rock again. Thanks guys...
you saved my life. |
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BLACK GUY
We had nothing to do with your
life changing revelation. So give
credit where credits due baby. |
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JAMES
Thanks Marajuana, for being my
anti-drug. |
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4.
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WHITE GUY reaches for the splif joint. |
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WHITE GUY
I'm next in the rotation. |
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JAMES
No troubled street punk number 2.
Next in the rotation... is
America. |
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JAMES holds the blunt up to the camera as if passing it to
the audience. |
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Both WHITE and BLACK GUY straighten up and solute to the
camera in unison. |
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FADE OUT. |
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