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THE BIG BANG THEORY: "THE NOCTURNAL CALAMITY"
by Brandon and Gerald Young (young1bd@gmail.com)

Rated: PG   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ***1/2
Here is our updated spec script on, "The Big Bang Theory."


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

INT. COLD OPEN - SHELDON'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
(SHELDON, PENNY)
                                                            
SHELDON IS IN HIS BED. HE'S WEARING A GLEAMING GRIN. HE
ROLLS OVER; PENNY IS THERE IN BED WITH HIM. THEY MAKE EYE
CONTACT AND FRANTICALLY JUMP OUT OF BED. SHELDON WAKES,
REVEALING THAT IT WAS ONLY A DREAM.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
Well, that was a rather vexing
predicament.
                                                            
 
INT. 4TH FLOOR HALLWAY/EXT. PENNY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
                                                            
(SHELDON, PENNY)
                                                            
SHELDON IS AT PENNY'S DOORWAY.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
(Knocks) Penny. (Knocks) Penny.
(Knocks) Penny.
                                                            
A BARELY CONCIOUS PENNY ANSWERS THE DOOR.
                                                            
                       PENNY
What could you possibly want,
Sheldon?
                                                            
                       SHELDON
I was deeply delved into stage
four sleep. It's the best part of
the sleep cycle, you know? What
with the Delta waves, rapid eye
movement, low voltage
Electroencephalography, and all.
                                                            
                       PENNY
The point, Sheldon?!
                                                            
                       SHELDON
Why were you in my dream?
                                                            
                       PENNY
Do I need to have the same talk
with you that I had with Howard?
                                                            

2.

                       SHELDON
Oh, I highly doubt that. Comparing
Howard's highly absurd libido to
my preposterous phobia of human
contact would be...How do I say
this so you will understand? It
don't compute, toots!
                                                            
                       PENNY
Besides, you should be the one
telling me why I was in your
dream. I'm the half awake
waitress. You're the physicist.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
You do make a strikingly valid
point.
                                                            
                       PENNY
I'm going back to bed!
                                                            
                       SHELDON
Before your suspension of
consciousness, can you please do
me a favor?
                                                            
                       PENNY
I'm not singing Soft Kitty!
                                                            
A HIGHLY IRRITATED PENNY SLAMS HER DOOR. A DEJECTED SHELDON
HEADS TOWARDS HIS APARTMENT.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
      (sadly, head down)
Soft Kitty, warm kitty, little
ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy
kitty, purr purr purr.
                                                            
 
INT. PENNY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
(PENNY, SHELDON, WOLOWITZ)
                                                            
PENNY LIES DOWN ON HER BED. SHE ROLLS OVER. SHELDON IS NEXT
TO HER WITH HIS EYES WIDE OPEN AND A BIG SMILE ON HIS FACE.
IT IS ALSO REVEALED THAT A SMIRKING WOLOWITZ IS ON HER OTHER
SIDE. PENNY FRANTICALLY WAKES FROM THIS HORRID NIGHTMARE
AND HURRIEDLY JUMPS OUT OF BED.
                                                            
                       PENNY
(Stomping her feet) Oh, my God.
(Stomping her feet) Oh, my God.
(Stomping her feet) Oh, my God.
                                                            

3.

PENNY IS NOW FULLY RESPONSIVE.
                                                            
                       PENNY
Great, I'm doing that now?
Sheldon? Howard? Gross!
                                                            
 
INT. ACT I - LEONARD AND SHELDON'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
                                                            
(LEONARD, SHELDON)
                                                            
LEONARD AND SHELDON ARE SITTING IN THEIR LIVING ROOM,
WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
      (yawns)
They should show this documentary
to anyone that suffers from
insomnolence.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
Speaking of sleep, I had a rather
titillating dream last night.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
About what?
                                                            
                       SHELDON
Penny.
                                                            
LEONARD ROLLS HIS EYES.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Of the over 200,000 words in the
English language, you chose
titillating to describe a dream
you had about Penny?
                                                            
                       SHELDON
It is rather entertaining that I
would expunge valuable sleep time
dreaming about lying in bed with
her, don't you think?
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Do I need to have the same talk
with you that I had with Howard?
                                                            
                       SHELDON
You're not bothered by it?
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Why would I be?
                                                            

4.

                       SHELDON
Because it's Article 63, Provision
F in the Roommate Agreement.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Dreaming about a girl is in the
Roommate Agreement?
                                                            
                       SHELDON
It is if said girl is attached to
the other roommate in any way,
shape, or form. I'd say that you
two, having copulated, constitutes
way, shape, AND form.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Honestly, Sheldon. It doesn't
bother me at all.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
I'm bothered. The thought alone of
sharing the same bed with another
human without separate, isolated,
warmly lined, usually zippered
bags designed for the purpose of
sleeping involved is acutely
grotesque.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Sleeping bags, Sheldon? Why you
don't just become the boy in the
bubble is beyond me.
                                                            
LEONARD RISES.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
Please! I'm not David Vetter.
Although, I did grow up in a town
not far from his in Texas. Plus,
you know I have a mild allergy to
plastic.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Goodnight, Sheldon.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
Good night, toots.
                                                            
 
INT. SHELDON'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            

5.

(SHELDON, PENNY)
                                                            
SHELDON IS SLEEPING IN HIS BED, GRINNING. HE ROLLS OVER.
PENNY SMILES AT HIM. SHE SEDUCTIVELY GRASPS THE COLLAR OF
HIS PAJAMAS.
                                                            
                       PENNY
Good morning, Dr. Cooper.
                                                            
SHELDON FRENZIEDLY RUBS HIS EYES AND REVEALS THAT THIS WAS
YET ANOTHER DREAM.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
      (concerned)
Oh, now this is drastically beyond
confounding.
                                                            
 
INT. LEONARD AND SHELDON'S APARTMENT - DAY
                                                            
(SHELDON, LEONARD, WOLOWITZ, KOOTHRAPPALI, PENNY)
                                                            
SHELDON, LEONARD, WOLOWITZ AND KOOTHRAPPALI ARE SITTING IN
THE LIVING ROOM.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
Last night, I had quite the
perplexing phenomenon
occur...twice.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Oh, boy. Here we go.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
Penny was in the most
unpredictable and precarious of
positions.
                                                            
LEONARD ROLLS HIS EYES AND THROWS HIS HEAD BACK.
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ
      (excitedly)
Please go on.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
She was in bed with me.
                                                            
                       KOOTHRAPPALI
Way to go, dude. I guess that
means I'm next.
                                                            

6.

                       WOLOWITZ
What do you mean, you're next?
Clearly, I'm next in line as you
can't even talk to the woman.
                                                            
                       KOOTHRAPPALI
Oh, right, like you have a shot.
You can't even close the deal with
Katee Sackhoff and she is just a
figment of your imagination.
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ
Oh, we've frakked. Boy, have we
frakked.
                                                            
WOLOWITZ BEGINS TO DAYDREAM. SHELDON INTERRUPTS.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
Gentlemen, as much as I just love
hearing you two banter like two
lab rats arguing over which cheese
tastes best; the correct being
Parmigiano Reggiano, of course; I
must inform you that she was lying
in bed with me merely as part of
an unconscious chimera.
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ
Unconscious? You drugged her? Why
haven't I thought of that?
                                                            
                       LEONARD
He means a dream, Howard. Besides,
I'm not entirely convinced you
don't own a couple chloroform
soaked rags.
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ
I will neither confirm nor deny
that. Alright, fine. I have them
to keep mother quiet when I need
my me time. And, I mean really,
who hasn't dreamt about being in
bed with Pen...
                                                            
PENNY ENTERS, STORMING INTO THE ROOM, FOCUSING ON SHELDON.
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ
...ny?
                                                            
                       PENNY
Thanks a lot, Sheldon.
                                                            

7.

                       SHELDON
You're very welcome. What regal
achievement have I earned now?
                                                            
                       PENNY
Thanks to you I had a dream about
you and Howard.
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ
Menage a trois, eh. Nice.
                                                            
KOOTHRAPPALI WHISPERS INTO WOLOWITZ'S EAR. WOLOWITZ IS
SUDDENLY SULLEN.
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ
Oh, right. That would be weird.
                                                            
                       PENNY
I want you both out of my dreams!
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ
Yeah, but can we get into your
car?
                                                            
                       SHELDON
Although, I somehow know the
1980's musical reference in
question, I wouldn't suggest that.
Her check engine light has been
lit longer than a red dwarf star.
                                                            
                       PENNY
Dreams! Out! Now!
                                                            
SHELDON PINCHES PENNY ON THE ARM.
                                                            
                       PENNY
Ouch! What was that for?
                                                            
                       SHELDON
I was simply trying to verify that
you weren't currently in an
unconscious state. It does not
appear as if you are. Therefore,
neither Howard nor myself can exit
said unconscious state.
                                                            
                       PENNY
You'll be in an unconscious state
if you enter my dreams again.
                                                            

8.

                       SHELDON
Have you been watching
"Inception?" Besides, you were in
my dreams first and I was unable
to rid you of said dreams.
                                                            
PENNY GOES TO SWAT AT SHELDON. LEONARD INTERCEPTS HER.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
What Sheldon is trying to say is,
it's not possible for anyone to
enter your dreams.
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ
Not for a lack of trying.
                                                            
KOOTHRAPPALI WHISPERS INTO HOWARD'S EAR AGAIN. HOWARD
LAUGHS.
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ
If only.
                                                            
PENNY SHOOTS HOWARD A DIRTY LOOK AS HOWARD COMPOSES HIMSELF.
                                                            
                       PENNY
I've got to go. I'm late for a
date...work. A date with work.
                                                            
SHE EXITS.
                                                            
                       KOOTHRAPPALI
      (stands, situates)
Now, if you gentlemen will please
excuse me. I'm late for a date
with Penny.
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ
Don't forget your Jolly Ranchers
and six pack of Zima.
                                                            
                       KOOTHRAPPALI
You live with your mother.
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ
      (stands)
Touché. Speaking of, I too need to
get going. Mother's making my
favorite meal tonight; bacon
wrapped ham.
                                                            
                       KOOTHRAPPALI
Worst Jewish family ever, dude.
                                                            

9.

THE GUYS EXIT.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
It's truly amazing that we remain
friends with them.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
No. What's amazing is that for as
long as we've been roommates, I
don't have a prison record.
                                                            
 
INT. FIRST FLOOR OF APARTMENT COMPLEX - DAY
                                                            
(LEONARD, JENNY)
                                                            
LEONARD ACCIDENTALLY BUMPS INTO JENNY. SHE'S PENNY'S
DOPPELGÄNGER; BLOND, EERILY SIMILAR LOOKS, BUT WEARING A
P.F. CHANG'S WAITRESS UNIFORM.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
I'm so sorry. Let me get that for
you.
                                                            
HE HELPS PICK UP THE MAIL SHE'S DROPPED.
                                                            
                       JENNY
It's my fault. I wasn't paying
attention.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
No. It really was my fault.
                                                            
                       JENNY
Okay, it's your fault.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
I can agree to that. I'm Leonard,
by the way.
                                                            
HE AWKWARDLY EXTENDS HIS HAND TO SHAKE HERS, UNSURE OF HOW
TO SHAKE A WOMAN'S HAND. SHE OBLIGES.
                                                            
                       JENNY
Jenny.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
      (nervously)
Have you lived here long? Not that
I have or haven't noticed. Or,
that I'm even assuming that you do
live here, or don't. I'm not
stalking you, I promise.
                                                            

10.

                       JENNY
You're cute. I actually just moved
out here from Idaho a couple weeks
ago and I'm staying with my
grandmother, Mrs. Vartabedian.
I've been here long enough to know
about the skinny, weird guy that
lives upstairs.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Sheldon.
                                                            
                       JENNY
I can't believe they let him live
here and not at the ward.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Truer words have never been
spoken. Say, I'm not usually this
upfront, but...want someone to
show you around the neighborhood?
                                                            
                       JENNY
As long as you promise the tour
guide isn't Sheldon; yeah. That'd
be great.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
I wouldn't wish that on my worst
enemy.
                                                            
                       JENNY
I have tomorrow off if that works
for you.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Alright, awes...coo...Uh, I'll
catch you down here at 11:00.
                                                            
                       JENNY
I'll, uh, catch you at 11:00.
                                                            
LEONARD LEANS IN TO GIVE JENNY A VERY AWKWARD HUG, BUT SHE
STICKS OUT HER HAND AND THEY SHAKE HANDS FOR A SECOND TIME.
JENNY EXITS AS LEONARD BANGS HIS HEAD ON THE MAILBOXES.
                                                            
 
INT. PHYSICS DEPARTMENT CAFETERIA - DAY
                                                            
(WOLOWITZ, LEONARD, KOOTHRAPPALI, SHELDON)
                                                            
WOLOWITZ, LEONARD AND KOOTHRAPPALI ARE EATING.
                                                            

11.

                       WOLOWITZ
I don't have another sponge bath
in me to give that beast of a
woman.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Please do not go on.
                                                            
                       KOOTHRAPPALI
So (beat) Sheldon and Penny
sitting in a tree.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Whoa! It was just a dream. After
all, this IS Sheldon we're talking
about.
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ
True. He's not interested if the
relationship process involves more
than simply logging onto Skype.
                                                            
ALL THREE ACKNOWLEDGE IT BY NODDING THEIR HEADS.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
And besides, I've been over Penny
for a long time. Regardless, I
have a date tomorrow.
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ
Ooh! Want a cookie?
                                                            
                       KOOTHRAPPALI
So, who's the unlucky lady?
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Mrs. Vartabedian...
                                                            
                       KOOTHRAPPALI
Gross, dude. She's 80.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Her granddaughter, Jenny.
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ
You never told me that Mrs. V had
a granddaughter.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
I can't imagine why.
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ
I can.
                                                            

12.

SHELDON ENTERS, PLACING HIS TRAY DOWN AND JOINING THE GUYS.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
Gentlemen...Howard.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Hey, Sheldon. We were just
discussing your dreams about
Penny.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
What's there to discuss? I simply
have been serendipitously running
into her a lot lately; which lead
to the latent dream.
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ
I won't even begin to discuss what
led to my most recent latent
dream.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
Thank you. Please don't.
                                                            
                       KOOTHRAPPALI
I've got something to discuss.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
And, what is that?
                                                            
                       KOOTHRAPPALI
Sheldon and Penny sitting in a
tree! K. I. S. S. I. N. G.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
I fail to see how your childlike
shenanigans are even remotely
related to my midnight Penny
musing.
                                                            
                       KOOTHRAPPALI
You're a childlike shenanigan.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
Ooh, good one. Want a cookie?
                                                            
SHELDON EXTENDS A COOKIE TO KOOTHRAPPALI THAT WAS SITTING ON
HIS TRAY.
                                                            
                       KOOTHRAPPALI
No, thank you. I already traded
Howard half of my BLT for two of
the chocolate chip cookies that
his mother packed for him. I tell
            (MORE)

13.

                       KOOTHRAPPALI (cont'd)
ya, worst Jew ever.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Guys, this truly is a non-issue.
                                                            
                       KOOTHRAPPALI
You're truly...
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Raj, don't you do it!
                                                            
                       SHELDON
Despite Hollywood's best efforts
to want us to believe, dreams
cannot be controlled.
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ
Now, I wouldn't go that far.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
You disgust me.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Sheldon's right. I'm sure it's
just because he's been running
into her a lot lately. It is not a
big deal.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
Precisely. Not that there was any
doubt that my hypothesis wasn't
absolutely correct in the first
place.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
I stand corrected. There is one
person that Sheldon loves,
Sheldon.
                                                            
SHELDON BREAKS INTO SARCASTIC LAUGHTER.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
Ha ha. I'll be sure to share that
anecdote with Amy Farrah Fowler
when we hang out tonight.
                                                            
                       KOOTHRAPPALI
You mean when you turn on your
webcam?
                                                            

14.

                       WOLOWITZ
What are you doing for your date,
Leonard?
                                                            
                       SHELDON
YOU have a date?
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Don't sound so shocked. I'm going
to show Mrs. Vartabedian's
granddaughter around the
neighborhood.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
Oh, is this the granddaughter you
told me not to tell Howard about?
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ
You two are the worst rooster
blockers ever.
                                                            
SHELDON BECOMES CONFUSED BY HOWARD'S TERMINOLOGY.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
I'm sorry. I'm
uncharacteristically ignorant at
the moment. What is a rooster
blocker?
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ
I'll explain later.
                                                            
                       KOOTHRAPPALI
Leonard. How did you meet this
girl anyway?
                                                            
                       LEONARD
We just bumped into each other and
started talking. Which is more
than can be said had it been you
she bumped into.
                                                            
                       KOOTHRAPPALI
Sheldon and Penny sitting in a
tree.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
That really doesn't affect me at
all. Penny is old news. I'm on to
bigger things.
                                                            

15.

                       WOLOWITZ
Oh, so Mrs. Vartabedian's
granddaughter is a BBW?
                                                            
                       LEONARD
      (stands)
I'm going. I need to decide on the
places that I'm going to show
Penny. Uh, Jenny.
                                                            
LEONARD EXITS.
                                                            
                       KOOTHRAPPALI
K. I. S. S. I. N. G.
                                                            
 
INT. LEONARD'S BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
(LEONARD, PENNY)
                                                            
LEONARD IS IN BED SLEEPING. PENNY IS IN BED WITH HIM
SMILING. CLEARLY, THIS IS A DREAM THAT LEONARD IS HAVING.
PENNY PLAYFULLY PUNCHES HIM ON THE SHOULDER.
                                                            
                       PENNY
Good morning, slugger.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
      (unphased)
Oh, good morning, Penny.
                                                            
HE QUICKLY RISES, REALIZING IT'S A DREAM, AND SHAKES HIS
HEAD IN CONCERN THAT HE STILL FEELS FOR HER.
                                                            
 
INT. ACT II - CHEESECAKE FACTORY (RESTAURANT SIDE) - DAY
                                                            
(JENNY, LENNY, PENNY)
                                                            
LEONARD AND JENNY ARE SITTING AT A TABLE ACROSS FROM ONE
ANOTHER. LEONARD IS SLOUCHING, BORED DUE TO JENNY'S
INCESSANT TALKING.
                                                            
                       JENNY
...And that's when I knew it was
time for me to try my hand at
acting. Hello, Los Angeles!
                                                            
                       LEONARD
You know, telling me that for the
third time really got your point
across.
                                                            

16.

PENNY CROSSES TO THE TABLE, AS SHE IS THEIR WAITRESS; HEAD
DOWN, PEN TO PAD. LEONARD SEES HER AND STRAIGHTENS UP,
MAKING CERTAIN PENNY KNOWS HE'S FEIGNING INTEREST IN JENNY.
PENNY LIFTS HER TO TAKE THEIR ORDER.
                                                            
                       PENNY
Leonard.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Hi, Penny.
                                                            
                       PENNY
Who's your buddy?
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Penny, this is Jenny. Penny,
Jenny. Jenny, Penny.
                                                            
                       JENNY
Hi.
                                                            
                       PENNY
You look familiar. Do I know you
from somewhere?
                                                            
                       JENNY
I believe we live in the same
apartment complex.
                                                            
PENNY DEVELOPS AN ATTITUDE TOWARD JENNY WHEN SHE REALIZES
WHERE SHE KNOWS HER FROM.
                                                            
                       PENNY
That's right. You're the P.F.
Chang's waitress.
                                                            
                       JENNY
      (bitchy)
And, you're the Cheesecake Factory
waitress.
                                                            
                       PENNY
      (bitchier)
You're good. It's the uniform that
gives it away, isn't it? So, what
do you two want?
                                                            
                       JENNY
I'll have the Mahi-Mahi. It's
fresh, yes?
                                                            

17.

                       PENNY
      (bitchiest)
The only way it could be fresher
is if I went to the Pacific and
caught you one.
                                                            
                       JENNY
      (most bitchiest)
Well, if you wouldn't mind.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Ladies, ladies please. Penny, I'll
have the Saigon chicken sandwich.
                                                            
                       PENNY
One chicken sandwich and a can of
tuna coming up.
                                                            
PENNY EXITS.
                                                            
                       JENNY
You know that wench?
                                                            
                       LEONARD
That WENCH used to be my
girlfriend.
                                                            
ABRUPTLY, HE STANDS UP. HE PULLS OUT HIS WALLET, TAKES SOME
MONEY OUT AND PLACES IT ON THE TABLE.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
I'm sorry. This date is going
nowhere. I apologize, but I need
to go.
                                                            
LEONARD LOWERS HIS HEAD AND MAKES HIS WAY TOWARDS THE EXIT.
PENNY CROSSES BACK TO THE TABLE AS SHE SEES LEONARD EXIT.
SHE SEES THE MONEY SITTING ON THE TABLE.
                                                            
                       PENNY
Your fish is swimming in the back
if you still want it.
                                                            
PENNY TAKES THE MONEY FROM THE TABLE PUTTING IT INTO THE
POUCH OF HER UNIFORM. JENNY GIVES PENNY THE DIRTIEST OF
LOOKS AS PENNY SHOOTS THE EXACT SAME DIRTY LOOK BACK AT HER
AT THE SAME TIME; A MIRROR IMAGE OF ONE ANOTHER. THEY ARE
BOTH TAKEN ABACK BY THEIR MATCHING GESTURES.
                                                            
 
INT. LEONARD AND SHELDON'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
                                                            

18.

(SHELDON, AMY, LEONARD)
                                                            
SHELDON IS TALKING TO AMY FARRAH FOWLER VIA WEBCAM.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
...After all; it was merely a mild
manifestation due to an exuberant
amount of recent chance encounters
with her.
                                                            
                       AMY
From a neuralbiological stand
point, I must say that it sounds
like your axons and dendrites are
treating your Synaptic cleft like
an anti-climactic game of Risk.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
What's all of this Carl Jung
psychoanalytical mumbo jumbo?
                                                            
                       AMY
You're brain's more scrambled than
an egg, toots.
                                                            
LEONARD ENTERS. HE IS DOWN IN THE DUMPS.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
      (glum)
Sheldon...
                                                            
HE GLARES DIRECTLY INTO THE WEBCAM.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Amy Farrah Fowler...
                                                            
                       SHELDON
Why so down? Did your rooster get
blocked?
                                                            
                       LEONARD
I'm not down. I'm just tired and
want to head to bed.
                                                            
                       AMY
I believe Sheldon is correct. It's
highly evident that you somehow
managed to manipulate the odds of
having any form of fornication
this evening. Thus, changing the
pigmentation of your testicles to
an off-colored blue.
                                                            

19.

                       SHELDON
Thank you, Amy. However, I
wouldn't want you to acknowledge
every time that I was correct. It
would be incredibly taxing on your
vocal chords.
                                                            
LEONARD IS UPSET.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Can we please leave my testicles
out of this?
                                                            
                       AMY
It appears that Jenny has already
brought that mission to fruition.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
It's not that. It's just after
hearing Jenny recite female lead
lines from EVERY Tennessee
Williams' play ALL DAY, one tends
to get a headache.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
You didn't seem to mind when Penny
did the same thing when you two
were dating. In fact, one could
ascertain that Jenny is nothing
more than an exact Penny version
similar to the Pellaeon-class Star
Destroyer model that you have in
your bedroom.
                                                            
LEONARD IS PERPLEXED.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
She's a replica.
                                                            
                       AMY
Very interesting. Subconsciously,
Lenny is simply supplanting Penny
with Jenny. It's a means of
classic Freudian displacement.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Jenny is nothing like Penny. Jenny
is from Idaho, not Nebraska. Jenny
works at PF Chang's, not the
Cheesecake Factory. Jenny is an
aspiring actress...Oh, my God, I'm
dating Penny.
                                                            

20.

                       SHELDON
Good job, Leonard. One day you'll
fully come to the realization that
I'm never remotely close to being
incorrect.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Honestly guys, I'm truly over her.
                                                            
                       AMY
Does she have erudition of this?
                                                            
                       SHELDON
Despite the fact that your choice
of the word erudition is highly
superfluous and pedantic with
regards to your query, Amy Farrah
Fowler, it's quite likely that she
wouldn't have any knowledge of
this even if it had been told to
her vis-à-vis.
                                                            
LEONARD IS ONCE AGAIN CONFUSED.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
She's not the most luminous quasar
in the universe.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
What am I even talking to you two
about relationships for? You're
like the cyber equivalent of Ross
and Rachel.
                                                            
                       AMY
Can I be Rachel?
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Come to think of it, telling her
is a great idea. Anything is a
great idea as long as it involves
being anywhere away from you two.
                                                            
LEONARD MAKES HIS WAY TOWARDS THE DOOR AND EXITS. SHELDON
RESUMES HIS CONVERSATION WITH AMY.
                                                            
                       SHELDON
I swear, they'll call anyone a
genius these days.
                                                            
 

21.

INT. 4TH FLOOR HALLWAY/EXT. PENNY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
                                                            
(LEONARD, PENNY)
                                                            
PENNY CROSSES TO HER DOOR. LEONARD CLOSES HIS DOOR AND
GREETS PENNY AS SHE'S JUST BEGUN UNLOCKING HER DOOR.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Hi.
                                                            
                       PENNY
Hi.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
There's something I need to tell
you.
                                                            
                       PENNY
It's not that you enjoyed me
painting your toenails a little
too much the other night, is it?
                                                            
                       LEONARD
What? No! (Beat) When we broke up,
I never had any real closure. What
I'm trying to say is that I'm over
you. I've officially moved on. You
can date whomever you want and the
same goes for me.
                                                            
                       PENNY
That is very mature of you.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Thank you.
                                                            
                       PENNY
Is there anything else?
                                                            
                       LEONARD
No, that's all.
                                                            
                       PENNY
Okay, goodnight, Leonard.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Goodnight, Penny.
                                                            
SHE OPENS THE DOOR AND ATTEMPTS TO WALK IN, BUT SHE'S
STOPPED BY LEONARD.
                                                            

22.

                       LEONARD
Actually, there's one more thing.
Could you please not dream about
Howard and Sheldon again? It's
pretty disturbing.
                                                            
                       PENNY
Goodnight, Leonard.
                                                            
PENNY EXITS, CLOSING THE DOOR BEHIND HER. LEONARD CROSSES
BACK TO HIS APARTMENT DOOR, GIVING PENNY'S DOOR ONE LAST
"LOOK."
                                                            
 
INT. PENNY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
(PENNY)
                                                            
PENNY SITS DOWN ON HER BED. HER EYES BEGIN TO WELL UP WHILE
SHE REFLECTS.
                                                            
 
INT. TAG - KOOTHRAPPALI'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
(KOOTHRAPPALI, WOLOWITZ, SHELDON, LEONARD)
                                                            
KOOTHRAPPALI IS LYING IN BED ASLEEP. HE ROLLS OVER TO FIND
WOLOWTIZ, SHELDON AND LEONARD ALL IN BED WITH HIM. HE LOOKS
AT THEM AS THEY ACKNOWLEDGE HIM WITH SMILES ON THEIR FACES.
RAJ SMILES BACK.
                                                            
                       KOOTHRAPPALI
Goodnight, dudes.
                                                            
                       WOLOWITZ, SHELDON & LEONARD
Goodnight, Raj.
                                                            
THE GUYS ALL GO BACK TO SLEEP.
                                                            


FADE OUT.


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From Frank D. Antonacci Date 5/20/2011 ***
Has potential !!

From Cj Date 5/9/2011 ***1/2
really well written and i haven't seen The Big Bang Theory i should watch it now thanks for gtetting me into it!!!!

From Ashley Byrone Benthien Date 4/30/2011 ***1/2
Very good sample. I'm personally a big fan of The Big Bang Theory, and I found it quite easy to visualize this story as a produced episode. The dialogue was true to the nature of the characters, which is not an easy task to pull off when Sheldon and Amy use all that high tech terminology, but you guys got it quite right. The story is unique within the realm of TBBT, yet could easily be integrated into the actual series. I'm not one hundred percent sure how TV script format differs from feature length format, but with feature length the action is written in regular caps, not all caps. Other than that, I think you guys are heading in the right direction. Use this story as a sample to market your TV writing ability. Those who know The Big Bang Theory will appreciate your accuracy. Well done.


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