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Who Am I?
by Brandon and Gerald Young (young2bd@yahoo.com)

Rated: PG   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ***
This is our other original pilot we wrote. We feel it has a little, "My Name is Earl," feel to it.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

INT. VISTA VIEW MEDICAL - COLD OPEN - DAY
                                                            
TROY, an attractive, 30 year-old, Caucasian male with a
healthy figure, is lying in a hospital bed with a bandage on
his head.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
Look at that handsome guy right
there. That's me. Well, I think it
is. Truth be told, I don't really
know who I am. You'll find that
out soon enough, though. Let's get
back to this neat, swell, and
peachy keen show. Wait, what?
                                                            
He struggles to gather his bearings. A physically fit
African American doctor (DOCTOR) in his mid 50's is standing
beside him as he wakes.
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
Mr. Sterling. Good morning! Well,
I suppose I should say that seven
times through.
                                                            
                       TROY
      (oblivious)
Who are you?
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
I am Doctor Stevenson and you are
at Vista View Medical in beautiful
San Diego, California. I've been
caring for you for a week now. You
just woke up from a coma.
                                                            
                       TROY
      (a little more
       cognizant)
A coma? What happened? Why am I
here?
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
      (sarcastically)
I've been waiting on pins and
needles for seven days to ask you
that very question.
                                                            
                       TROY
Who is Mr. Sterling? What is
going on here? Where am I?
                                                            

2.

                       DOCTOR
I'm afraid it looks like you've
come down with a bit of amnesia.
                                                            
                       TROY
      (borderline with
       it)
How does one come down with
amnesia, doc? It's not a cold.
Wait, what does amnesia mean
again? I forgot. Say, daddio,
what day is it?
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
Daddio? It's...
                                                            
                       TROY
      (growing more
       concerned)
How did I?
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
You...
                                                            
                       TROY
      (genuinely
       concerned)
Who am I?
                                                            
 
INT. MANSION BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
Troy is lying in bed. He's tossing a baseball up into the
air, trying to just barely touch the ceiling. His bed is an
adult king-size version of a child's car bed (Lamborghini).
His bedroom is in as much disarray as his soon to be
discussed mental state. There's numerous posters on the
wall. At a closer look, these are all posters of himself in
a vast array of Chicago White Sox uniforms.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
Hi! I'm Troy Sterling. You might
remember me from such Simpson's
ripoffs as "That One." I digress.
I'm happy to know my name. It's
more than what I knew two weeks
ago. I know I live in San Diego,
but, by golly, I don't know how or
when I got here. By golly? What is
this, 1952? Ah, shucks. Anyway, I
just found out I'm some washed-up
Major League pitcher. I was a
former number one draft pick who
signed a huge signing bonus. I
            (MORE)

3.

                       TROY (cont'd)
made millions. Technically, I
stole millions. I threw my arm out
on the first pitch I threw in the
bigs. Fortunately, I got to keep
the money. I've decided to use it
to help discover who I am and how
I ended up in that coma in the
first place. So far, it seems
like I'm a major league jerk.
There's so much to figure out.
Number one being what is a grown
man doing owning a car-shaped bed?
                                                            
 
EXT. MANSION PORCH - DAY
                                                            
Outside of Troy's modest mansion. Troy has opened the door.
Standing in front of him is his best friend RICKY, an
overweight, Hispanic male in his early 30's. Troy's porch is
amazing. It has two recliners at each side. Accompanying the
recliners is a huge television. It literally looks like his
porch was converted into a living room. Troy and Ricky each
have a seat and converse with one another.
                                                            
                       RICKY
Hey, man.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
This is Richie. Apparently, he's
my best friend, and has been ever
since we got into a fight during
recess over a tether ball match.
                                                            
                       TROY
      (stepping outside)
Richie, right?
                                                            
                       RICKY
Nope! It's still Ricky.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
Make that Ricky.
                                                            
                       TROY
Sorry, Ricky.
                                                            
                       RICKY
It's cool. You're a lot closer
than when you called me Richelle
last week. How have you been, man?
                                                            

4.

                       TROY
Well, my head still feels like it
was forced to watch an M. Night
Shyamalan movie marathon.
                                                            
                       RICKY
You know M. Night Shyamalan's
name, but you still ain't got a
clue what mine is?
                                                            
                       TROY
It'd be easier if you started your
name off with just a single
letter.
                                                            
                       RICKY
R. Ricardo Uribe.
                                                            
                       TROY
Wait, your name is Ricky Ricardo?
                                                            
                       RICKY
So, not only do you know who M.
Night is, but you are also more
aware of a 1950's sitcom character
than of me.
                                                            
                       TROY
Well, gee-whiz, Ricky. I'm trying
here. I'm still learning who I
am. From what I'm gathering, I'm
not swell.
                                                            
                       RICKY
Nah, it ain't that. You're just a
man who's misunderstood.
                                                            
                       TROY
I'm not seeing how I'm a man at
all. Do you know that everyday I
wake up in a bed that's shaped
like a Lamborghini?
                                                            
                       RICKY
I was there when you bought it,
bro. It was the first thing you
bought with your signing bonus. It
was 2:00 am. The store was
obviously closed, but you were
persistent. So we went to the
owner's house.
                                                            
 

5.

EXT. HOUSE DOORWAY - NIGHT
                                                            
It is late, obviously dark, and dogs are barking as Troy
pounds on the door of the furniture store owner's (SAM)
house. Ricky is standing slightly behind Troy as the door
opens. A short, gray-haired, balding, middle-aged, Middle
Eastern man peers his head out the door.
                                                            
                       SAM
      (angrily)
It's 2:00 in the morning! What is
it you want?!
                                                            
                       TROY
I want that rocking Lambo-beddy
with the spinners. Come on,
Saddam, let's go!
                                                            
                       SAM
You come to my home at 2:00 AM,
wake me up, call me Saddam, and
you want me to sell you a child's
bed?
                                                            
                       TROY
Pretty much, Mr. Hussein. Let's
go.
                                                            
                       SAM
My name is Sam; Sam Hussein. I am
not Saddam. Now get out of here!
The store opens in 6 hours! Get
your kid a bed then!
                                                            
                       RICKY
Actually, Sam, Troy doesn't have
any kids. I think the bed's for
him, bro.
                                                            
                       TROY
Look, you go with me now and I'll
pay for it in cash and give you an
extra $5 for your troubles.
                                                            
                       SAM
Make it $500 and I'll consider it.
                                                            
                       TROY
Fine; whatever. I want that sweet
Lambo-beddy now!
                                                            
 

6.

INT. APARTMENT BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
His past bedroom looks as much in disarray as the present.
The only exception being that instead of it being inside a
mansion, it's in a small apartment. He has newspaper
clippings of himself strewn about his wall. Troy and Ricky
are standing around the new car bed, which takes up most of
the room.
                                                            
                       TROY
My very own Lambo-beddy! Now this
is what I'm talking about, ese.
                                                            
                       RICKY
You know, I never said it was cool
for you to call me that.
                                                            
                       TROY
Settle down, Vato. I've wanted one
of these ever since I was a kid.
                                                            
                       RICKY
It's obvious that you still are.
                                                            
Troy steps to a drum set and gives a little "buddump, chh!"
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
Where did those came from? I don't
think I've ever owned a drum set.
Of course, I probably wouldn't
remember if I did or not.
                                                            
                       TROY
Look, man. I'm gonna take this
baby for a spin. The living room
floor, slash limousine, is all
yours if you wanna crash here.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
Wow, I really was a jerk. I was
more of a Richard than Ricky was.
Hey, where'd that snare go?
                                                            
                       RICKY (VO)
I hope he doesn't think that was
"buddump, chh" worthy.
                                                            
                       TROY (Vo)
Cool! You've got a voice-over,
too?
                                                            
                       RICKY (VO)
Yep. Yep.
                                                            

7.

                       TROY (VO)
Why did you wait till now to speak
up?
                                                            
                       RICKY (VO)
Hearing only your voice-over was
starting to irk me.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
Imagine how our audience must
feel.
                                                            
                       RICKY (VO)
Who cares about them. Hey,
remember that time in first grade
when I smoked you in tether ball?
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
You cheated!
                                                            
                       RICKY (VO)
Semantics, bud. Hey, look at our
characters. While we jabber
they're stuck in television land
limbo; doing nothing.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
Ha! Yeah! Look at us! We're just
standing there like a couple of
fools.
                                                            
                       RICKY (VO)
I know! Look at you. You look so
uncomfortable, like you're
standing at a urinal while
"restroom small talk" guy is
trying to strike up a convo.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
I hate that guy! He's the same guy
that feels the need to talk in
elevators.
                                                            
                       RICKY (VO)
I know, dude! There's no escape
from talking about how overcast
it's been lately.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
And stuff like, "Hey, how about
that local sports team?" We really
should get back, ya know?
                                                            

8.

                       RICKY (VO)
Agreed. You don't need any more
time to steal from The Simpsons,
AGAIN.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
Eat my shorts!
                                                            
                       RICKY
Nah! Thanks though, bro. I'm
gonna head back to my pad. Your
mom is waiting there for me.
                                                            
                       TROY
      (sarcastically)
Ooh, congrats on the "burn." Mom
jokes are very fashionable...for
1999.
                                                            
                       RICKY
Dude, it is 1999. This is a
flashback, remember? Oh, wait. You
probably don't.
                                                            
Some drumsticks appear in Ricky's hands. He then gives a
magically appearing snare and hi-hat a little "buddump,
chh!"
                                                            
                       RICKY (VO)
Now that was worthy.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
Really, man? I can live with you
cutting into my voice-over time,
but I will not tolerate you
getting all felonious Carrot Top
with my props.
                                                            
Another off-screen voice (PRODUCER) interrupts the
conversation. The producer is very upset as to where the
show is heading.
                                                            
                       PRODUCER (OS)
Stop! Stop! Stop! If you two don't
knock it off, I'll fine Troy and
take away Ricky's voice-over
capability.
                                                            
                       RICKY (VO)
Sorry, Producer, braugh.
                                                            

9.

                       PRODUCER (OS)
It's alright, Ricky. Seriously,
though, the camera man has run out
of places to pan to while we're
talking like this.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
Definitely. Don't we need to cut
to a word from our sponsors?
                                                            
                       PRODUCER (OS)
Not yet. I'll let you know when.
Now let's get to the next scene.
                                                            
 
EXT. MANSION PORCH - DAY
                                                            
We are back to present day with Troy and Ricky sitting in
the recliners outside of Troy's humble mansion.
                                                            
                       TROY
I really need to make some
changes, Ricky. The more I hear
about myself, the more I dislike.
Say, you know anybody in the
market for a car bed?
                                                            
                       RICKY
You could put an ad up on that one
site, Car Bed Weekly.
                                                            
                       TROY
What's the world wide web address?
                                                            
                       RICKY
Hey, I know, bro. You could give
it to that big foster home up the
way.
                                                            
                       TROY
That's a swell idea. They could
use it as a reward; like the best
kid gets it for a month or
something.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
And look who's using his noodle...
No, not that one, you sickos.
Sorry. That was inappropriate. I
forgot. It's the new, nicer Troy
Sterling. What I meant to say was,
"Look who's using his head." Never
mind. I give up.
                                                            

10.

                       RICKY
Look who's using his noodle.
                                                            
                       TROY
Get out of my head, Ricky.
                                                            
                       RICKY
Huh?
                                                            
                       TROY
Oh, nothing. Anyway, I've been
thinking.
                                                            
                       RICKY
I guess there really is a first
time for everything.
                                                            
Troy steps to a suddenly appearing drum set. He gives it a
little "buddump, chh!"
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
Sweet! I've got this little trick
on lock. Now if only I could make
a sad trombone sound when someone
fails at something.
                                                            
Ricky, who was leaning against a car, slips and falls to the
ground. A sad trombone plays.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
YES!
                                                            
                       TROY
      (helping Ricky up)
I guess you really are startled by
me turning over a new leaf.
                                                            
                       RICKY
      (recouperated)
A little. I mean, how can you
turn a leaf when you don't even
know which one to turn over?
                                                            
                       TROY
You can help me. You say that
we've been friends since we were
kids. You must know me, right?
                                                            
                       RICKY
Well, yeah. I suppose, braugh.
                                                            

11.

                       TROY
I've been reading these things
about myself online. Did I really
take candy from a baby?
                                                            
                       RICKY
In the history of that saying, I
never thought anyone ever did it.
You? Well, you took candy from a
baby and gave it to a pretty woman
who was walking down the street.
                                                            
                       TROY
Really, Roy Orbison?
                                                            
                       RICKY
Seriously! How do you know who all
these pop culture figures are, but
not remember anything else? You're
like if TMZ met "Groundhog's Day."
                                                            
                       TROY
I took candy from a baby? I
really took candy from a baby?
                                                            
                       PRODUCER (OS)
Sponsor time, Troy.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
And we'll see what that looked
like right after a word from our
sponsor. "Who Am I" is brought to
you by Postum. Drink Postum and
stay awake!
                                                            
There are some sounds of shuffling of paper and rumbling of
people talking in the voice-over. The producer can be heard
in the background.
                                                            
                       PRODUCER (OS)
We aren't sponsored by Postum.
They don't even sell that stuff
anymore, knucklehead.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
They don't? Well, what do I know?
I've been in a coma and have
amnesia for crying out loud.
                                                            
                       PRODUCER (OS)
Good point. Cut to commercial.
                                                            
 

12.

INT. SIDEWALK - DAY
                                                            
Troy and Ricky are walking down a busy sidewalk. They walk
towards a 30-something Caucasian lady pushing a baby cart
(LADY). Inside the cart is a baby holding an unwrapped
lollipop. As they are walking, a beautiful Hispanic woman
(BEAUTIFUL WOMAN) in her mid-20's is shown going the
opposite direction from them. Troy sees the lollipop in the
baby's hand and snatches it while the mother has her head
turned temporarily. He then hands it to the beautiful woman.
Passersby are astounded at what they've witnessed. The lady
pushing the cart catches the tail end of this and is
furious. The beautiful latina woman is caught off guard.
                                                            
                       LADY
Hey, jerk! What are you doing?
                                                            
Troy ignores her and is paying full attention to the woman
he'd just handed the lollipop to.
                                                            
                       BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
I think she's talking to you.
                                                            
                       LADY
He took my baby's candy!
                                                            
                       TROY
      (trying even
       harder to ignore
       the lady)
Speaking of something as sweet as
candy, what's your story, doll
face?
                                                            
                       BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
      (puts lollipop in
       Troy's face)
Did you take this from that baby?
                                                            
                       TROY
Baby. Baby. Baby. What exactly is
taking? Things are taken from us
all the time. You just took my
breath away. Besides, I was just
learning the kid right. I wish I
had someone smart like me to teach
life lessons. I'd make a great
father. Call me, "Papi."
                                                            
The beautiful woman slaps Troy. She then hands the baby back
its candy.
                                                            

13.

                       LADY
Thank you. What an ass...
                                                            
                       BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
      (eyes her bare
       wrist)
Hol...y cow. I'm running late.
                                                            
The beautiful woman walks away. Baby cart lady begins to
flip Troy off, not quite reaching fruition.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
Looking back on it, that dame
REALLY slapped some sense into me.
                                                            
Troy looks for his imaginary snare and hi-hat. A sad
trombone plays instead.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
Really, audio department? Come on,
that was funny.
                                                            
                       PRODUCER (OS)
No, it wasn't. Stick to the script
or I'll fine you.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
I am working off the script; page
13.
                                                            
The rustling of papers can be heard.
                                                            
                       PRODUCER (OS)
Oops! Alright, back to the show.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
We never left.
                                                            
                       PRODUCER (OS)
Troy, Fine. Fine, Troy. Touch
gloves.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
      (enthusiastically)
AND WE'RE BACK!
                                                            
                       RICKY
      (taps Troy)
Hey, you good?
                                                            
                       TROY
I'm cool, Ricky Schroder.
                                                            

14.

                       RICKY
"Silver Spoons?" Really? You're
the one with the car bed. When's
the indoor train getting
installed, gringo? Anyway, I
wouldn't say you're cool. You
just...
                                                            
 
EXT. MANSION PORCH - DAY
                                                            
The guys are back on the porch again.
                                                            
                       RICKY
...took that baby's candy. What
were you thinking?
                                                            
                       TROY
I wasn't. This bums me out. I
can't believe that is...was...me.
                                                            
They rise. Troy opens the door. We see a door mat that reads
"Wipe Yo Feet or I'll Beat Yo Seat." Ricky blatantly wipes
his feet. Troy shoots a weird look; quickly shrugging it
off. He heads inside while Ricky follows.
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
They're in Troy's living room. It's the opposite of his
bedroom; immaculate. There's a huge television with an
enormous couch in front of it. The only other furniture is a
giant baseball shaped bean-bag chair.
                                                            
                       RICKY
Dude, why didn't you wipe your
feet? That's your numero uno
rule-o.
                                                            
                       TROY
Gee whillikers! Rule-o? You're
Hispanic for Pedro's sake! It's
not that big of a deal.
                                                            
                       RICKY
Don't tread on me, Mr. "gee
whillikers guy." You've always
made people wipe their feet here.
You have since you moved in. I
remember it like it was yesterday.
                                                            

15.

                       TROY
Oh, yeah? Well, I remember it like
it was...Dangit! No I don't.
                                                            
                       RICKY
It was a week after the car bed
incident. You realized your
apartment was too cramped. You
said you needed a new place to
live.
                                                            
 
INT. APARTMENT LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Troy's apartment living room is tiny! There's only one piece
of furniture,the baseball bean-bag chair. Troy is sitting on
it it. Ricky walks in and finds a spot on the floor to sit.
Behind him are his muddy footprints.
                                                            
                       TROY
Man, I've been here a week since
getting that sweet bed. This place
is too cramped. I need a new place
to live where people will respect
my feet wiping rule.
                                                            
 
EXT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Troy and Ricky are back in Troy's mansion's living room.
                                                            
                       TROY
      (sullen)
I've got a long way to go.
                                                            
                       RICKY
Don't be down, man. Like I said,
you're not a bad guy. You're just
misunderstood.
                                                            
                       TROY
What's misunderstanding about a
guy who literally takes candy from
a baby?
                                                            
                       RICKY
Troy, we've been through a lot. No
matter how you perceive yourself,
I'm here for you.
                                                            
                       TROY
Could I get that with a tad bit
less man-love connotation?
                                                            

16.

                       RICKY
Look, dude. You either want to
better yourself or you don't. I'm
saying I'll be your friend and
support you in whatever you do.
                                                            
                       TROY
Ah, shucks. Thanks, Ricky. I
appreciate that.
                                                            
                       RICKY
All good, holmes. I want you to
know that I'm not one of those
leeches that try to friend you for
your money. I've been there since
day one, homey.
                                                            
                       TROY
What? People financially take
advantage of me, too?
                                                            
                       RICKY
Yeah. I've helped you out a few
times.
                                                            
                       TROY
Like when?
                                                            
                       RICKY
Well, there was that one time, a
few years back, when I intercepted
Bernie Madoff from talking to you.
                                                            
                       TROY
Who?
                                                            
                       RICKY
Bernie Madoff. Had I not been
there, he would have made off with
all of your money.
                                                            
Ricky holds his hands out to receive the imaginary
drumsticks. A sad trombone plays instead.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
There you go, audio department.
                                                            
                       RICKY (VO)
Whatever. That's still better than
some of the eggs you've laid in
this episode.
                                                            

17.

                       TROY (VO)
Seriously, my shorts, eat them,
BRAUGH.
                                                            
                       RICKY
I'm just saying.
                                                            
                       TROY
I know. I know. Hey, I've got to
get on my way to the hospital.
                                                            
                       RICKY
Gotcha. Keep what I said to heart.
I'm here for you.
                                                            
                       TROY
Who are you again?
                                                            
                       RICKY
      (pointing at Troy)
You! You!
                                                            
                       TROY
Me! Me! That's all fine and all,
but who is me? I'm more scared
than when that person jumped out
between two cars and scared me on
Halloween.
                                                            
                       RICKY
Um, you really don't remember
anything correctly, do you? That
was me that was scared. You were
the one that jumped out.
                                                            
                       TROY
Like I was saying, who is me? Who
am I?
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
I'm apparently someone with
terrible grammar who doesn't find
it corny to say the name of the
show during dialog. Twice!
                                                            
Troy jumps out towards Ricky, who gets startled.
                                                            
 
INT. VISTA VIEW MEDICAL - DAY
                                                            
Troy is sitting in a waiting room. The room is a much
different room from where he was first seen a few weeks
prior. Doctor Stevenson enters from the doorway.
                                                            

18.

                       DOCTOR
Good afternoon. How are you,
Doctor Stevenson?
                                                            
                       TROY
You're Doctor Ste...Hey! Why I
oughta...
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
Good. You're making progress.
                                                            
                       TROY
I'm starting to discover that I'm
not the nicest of guys.
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
I disagree. As someone who has
followed your career since little
league, I can say that you are the
worst guy.
                                                            
                       TROY
Ah, gee, thanks.
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
Sorry, I didn't mean that. I just
meant that we are going to make
you better.
                                                            
                       TROY
I hope so. Isn't that what
hospitals are known for?
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
Maybe. However; I like to think
that we're more known for our
longer than Cedar Point waiting
times.
                                                            
                       TROY
Cedar Point?
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
It's the happiest place on earth
without all of the
self-aggrandizing pretentiousness.
                                                            
                       TROY
Uh?
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
Disregard. So, Troy. Have you had
any headaches lately?
                                                            

19.

                       TROY
Aside from the one I just got from
your big words, no.
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
Good. Good. Do you have anything
new to report since your last
visit?
                                                            
                       TROY
I've been talking to myself a lot
in my head lately.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
True. True.
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
Elaborate.
                                                            
                       TROY
Huh?
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
Go on with what you were saying.
                                                            
                       TROY
What was that?
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
Mentally talking to yourself.
                                                            
                       TROY
Yeah. I go off on these tangents
where if someone says something
funny, I hit a drum and cymbal.
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
When someone fails at something,
do you hear a sad trombone as
well?
                                                            
                       TROY
      (excited)
Yes! How did you know?
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
I'm a doctor. I know things.
Besides, we in the business refer
to that as the "Gong Show/Price Is
Right Syndrome." There's only one
cure for GS/PIR S; playing a game
of Plinko with a paper bag over
your head.
                                                            

20.

                       TROY
Are you serious?
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
Oh, boy! We have one heckuva road
to toe.
                                                            
                       TROY
I've been doing that, too.
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
Doing what?
                                                            
                       TROY
Thinking up really corny phrases
like "heckuva." I feel like I am a
character from a 1950's sitcom.
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
      (Jackie Gleason
       imitation)
You sir, are a mental case!
                                                            
                       TROY
I know. That's why I'm here,
remember?
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
Yes, I do. After all, I'm not you.
                                                            
                       TROY
Well, a hardy, har, har! What's
this mental case business? Nice
bedside manner.
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
I'm sorry. You had just mentioned
1950's sitcoms, and that bit from
"The Honeymooners" came to mind.
                                                            
                       TROY
One of these days, Doc. One of
these days...Pow! Right in the
kisser.
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
Hmm. Interesting.
                                                            
                       TROY
What?
                                                            

21.

                       DOCTOR
You remember meaningless moments
in pop culture history, but don't
remember who you are.
                                                            
                       TROY
Hey, now! "The Honeymooners"
weren't meaningless.
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
If you love it so much, why don't
you marry it?
                                                            
                       TROY
Huh? Why are you being so weird?
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
I'm just trying to figure out
where you are mentally. Let me ask
you this, how do you feel about
the phrase "I'm rubber, you're
glue?"
                                                            
                       TROY
Golly, Doc. I'm not eight.
Besides, I'm giving my car-shaped
bed to charity.
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
No need to be offended, Mr.
Sterling. I just need to gauge
your mindset.
                                                            
                       TROY
Give me the straight skinny, Doc.
Am I ever going to get my memory
back?
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
Over time, I'm sure you will. For
now, keep having that pal of yours
answer as many questions about you
as he can.
                                                            
                       TROY
Thanks, Doc; that's reassuring.
I'll do that. He'll help. Ricky
sure is a swell pal.
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
You really are living in "Leave it
to Beaver" land. Alright, now
there's just one more thing I need
to do before you can leave the
            (MORE)

22.

                       DOCTOR (cont'd)
hospital today.
                                                            
                       TROY
Will it help me get my memory
back?
                                                            
Doctor Stevenson reaches onto the counter and pulls out some
medical gloves. He puts them on and stretches one out onto
his hand, snapping it into position.
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
Possibly. This may feel slightly
uncomfortable.
                                                            
Troy gets a frightened expression on his face as he has a
bad feeling about what's going to happen next.
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
I'm sure you won't forget this.
                                                            
                       TROY (VO)
I definitely wish that was a
moment I would forget. I also like
how he flat out lied to me.
Slightly uncomfortable? Slightly?
                                                            
A sad trombone sound plays one more time.
                                                            
 
INT. FOSTER HOME DRIVEWAY - COLD CLOSE - DAY
                                                            
Troy and Ricky are seen pulling up to the driveway of the
foster home in the Lambo-beddy. The bed has turned into an
actual car. Troy and Ricky both have on racing attire;
ascot, glasses, leather gloves, and all. The kids from the
foster home come out cheering for the car bed. Troy has the
biggest smile on his face. It's like he saved the world, one
child at a time. TROY STARES INTO CAMERA.
                                                            
                       TROY
Baby, I'm the greatest.
                                                            
Troy leans in to kiss the camera.
                                                            


FADE OUT.


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From Frank D. Antonacci Date 5/12/2011 ***
Funny stuff ! You have a great ear for dialog !


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