Screenwriter Community |
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by Luke Valle (rocker10541@gmail.com)
Rated:
Genre: Comedy
User Review: NOT YET RATED
Vicki tries to survive in jail as Alex, Cherry, James, Sandy and Zack come to her rescue.
This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
FADE IN:
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EXT. DORM PARKING LOT - DORM 9 - NIGHT |
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ALEX, CHERRY, JAMES, SANDY and ZACK walk along the road. A
police siren rings as a police car approaches. CHERRY sees
the car. |
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CHERRY
Car! Car everyone! |
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They all hop into a nearby bush. The car drives by and the
gang gets up when the coast is clear. |
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SANDY
This is not my night. |
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They all climb out of the bushes and continue down the road. |
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JAMES
Let's just get to the dorm first. |
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SANDY
What about Vicki? Unless you
haven't noticed yet, she was
arrested. |
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CHERRY
Look, let's get to the dorm, sober
up and then plot an escape plan. |
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SANDY
You mean break her out? |
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JAMES
Do you have any better ideas? |
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SANDY
Just drunk? I feel like I might
puke. |
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2.
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CHERRY
It's just anxiety, the alcohol is
only making it worse. Just take
deep breaths. |
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SANDY starts breathing heavily. |
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SANDY
(breathing heavily)
I think I'm gonna faint. |
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They all approach the main entrance to Dorm Nine. |
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CHERRY
Is the housemother in? |
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SANDY
We have a housemother? |
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CHERRY
I think we do. We should have one,
right? |
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SANDY suddenly dashes into the bushes and pukes violently.
JAMES runs into the bushes to help SANDY. |
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ZACK
(turning away)
Disgusting! |
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CHERRY
Are you okay, Sandy? |
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The two emerge from the bushes, SANDY wiping her mouth on
her sleeve. |
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SANDY
Dear god, I'm wasted. |
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They all head into the dorm. |
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END OF COLD OPEN |
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3.
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INT. BOY'S ROOM - DORM 9 - NIGHT |
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They all enter. ALEX and CHERRY sit on his bed together.
ZACK sits at a desk. JAMES, helping SANDY in, sits with her
on his bed. |
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CHERRY
How should we do it? |
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ALEX
Break Vicki out of prison. |
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JAMES
Prison? She was arrested by the
police department of East Jesus
Nowhere, she in a county jail at
best. |
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SANDY
Won't the cops start looking for
her when she's gone? |
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CHERRY
No. See, Sandy, we have this
agreement, the five of us, that if
we're arrested we'd give the cops
false names so they won't find us
when we escape. |
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CHERRY gets up and starts pacing. |
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CHERRY (cont'd)
(pacing)
Now, how do we get her out? |
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SANDY
We could get some files and saw
through the bars, I saw it on TV
once. |
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ALEX
What did they do to mask the noise
of the files going through the
metal bars? |
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SANDY
They sang "Old MacDonald Has A
Farm". |
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4.
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ZACK
What show were you watching? |
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SANDY
"I Love Lucy", Lucy was arrested
for mouthing off at the officer
when she was pulled over for
speeding and the sang to block out
the noise of their filing. |
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JAMES
Sandy, I think you're still a
little tipsy, lay down for a
minute. |
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SANDY lays down on the bed and JAMES gets up and starts
pacing with CHERRY. |
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CHERRY
(pacing)
That sounds half-good, but what
would we use to smuggle the noise? |
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JAMES
(pacing)
Where are we gonna find
firecrackers in New York, in
April, at ten-o'clock at night? |
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SANDY
We could have Vicki start a riot
and she could escape while the
guards are distracted. |
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JAMES
That's good.
(to Cherry)
Where do we keep the files? |
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CHERRY
I think they're in my room, let me
check. |
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CHERRY heads out of the room. SANDY sits up and tries to
follow her. |
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SANDY
(getting up)
I'll come with. |
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5.
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SANDY falls face-first onto the floor. |
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SANDY
(talking into
floor)
Oww! |
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JAMES helps SANDY up. |
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SANDY lies down on JAMES' bed. CHERRY exits. |
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SANDY (cont'd)
How long of a drive is it to the
jail they're keeping her in? |
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JAMES
About twenty minutes. |
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SANDY
I'll sleep in the car. |
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ALEX
What car? We don't have a car. |
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SANDY
Doesn't the school have a van that
the gardeners use in back? |
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JAMES
The keys are never in it. |
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ALEX
Wait, you know how to hot-wire a
car? |
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SANDY
Yep, my house back home used to be
a farm and one day I found an old
Volkswagen bus and my older
brother spent a whole summer
fixing it up and one day I
accidentally hot-wired it. Now,
(MORE)
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6.
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SANDY (cont'd)
I'm hot-wiring prodigy. |
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JAMES
That is the weirdest story I've
ever heard. |
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ALEX
That's the second weirdest thing
I've ever heard. |
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ALEX
None'ya damn business, that's what
it is. |
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SANDY
I think I'm gonna throw up again. |
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SANDY puts her hand over her mouth and runs into the
bathroom. JAMES follows. |
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ALEX
Why is he following her around
like a damn puppy or something? |
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ZACK shrugs. CHERRY enters with five files in her hands. |
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CHERRY
Got 'em, they were under my bed. |
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ALEX
I hope Vicki's okay in jail. I
wonder what they're doing to her
there? |
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INT. POLICE STATION |
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An officer sits at his desk. Another officer enters pulling
VICKI in with him. They approach the desk. |
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VICKI
Stop pulling me! I can buy and
sell you, my dad is rich! |
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OFFICER #1
(taking out papers)
Who do we have here? |
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OFFICER #2
Under-aged drinker. |
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7.
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VICKI
I can talk for myself. |
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OFFICER #1
Fine, then please state your name
and your current address. |
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VICKI
My name. My names is... Zulu,
queen of the dwarf people. |
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The officer writes on a piece of paper in front of him. He
finishes and looks up at VICKI. |
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OFFICER #1
Okay, Zulu, where do you live? |
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VICKI
The corn maize at that farm just
few minutes from here. |
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OFFICER #1
Okay, put her in the cell. And
lock it tight, I don't want the
queen to run out on us for a royal
emergency. |
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The officer drags VICKI away. |
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INT. BOY'S ROOM |
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ALEX, CHERRY, and ZACK are as we left them. CHERRY paces. |
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CHERRY
What's taking Sandy so long? She's
just vomiting, it takes like what
twenty, thirty seconds? |
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JAMES and SANDY exit the bathroom. |
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They all exit the room together. |
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INT. JAIL CELL |
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VICKI sits in the cell. Two hookers, JEWELS and CANDI, pace
nearby. JEWELS, looks at VICKI. |
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8.
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JEWELS
Hey. What's ya' name? |
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VICKI
My real name is Vicki, but as far
as the cops know, I'm Zulu. |
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VICKI
Yes, I have a couple of friends
who are gonna break me out of this
joint and I don't want the cops up
my ass. |
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VICKI
Under-aged drinking. |
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JEWELS
What school do you go to? |
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CANDI sits next to VICKI. |
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CANDI (cont'd)
I went there as a teenager, class
of two-thousand-five. |
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VICKI
Really, were the parties at dorm
seven as crazy back then? |
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CANDI
Are you kidding? No one ever
leaves a dorm seven party sober.
(holding out her
hand)
I'm Candi. |
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CANDI and VICKI shake hands. |
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9.
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CANDI (cont'd)
(pointing at
Jewels)
This is Jewels. |
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VICKI
Hi.
(to Candi)
Which dorm did you stay in? |
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CANDI
I basically lived all-year round
at dorm nine. |
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CANDI
Have you met the housemother? |
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VICKI
No, I haven't. What's she like? |
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CANDI
I don't know, I was gonna ask you
that question. No one has ever
seen our housemother. It's like
she's Osama Bin Laden, they can't
be found. |
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VICKI
You've been in here a long time
haven't you? |
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CANDI
Yeah, how'd you know? |
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VICKI
The navy seals killed Osama a
while ago. |
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VICKI nods. CANDI gets up and rushes over to the cell doors. |
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CANDI (cont'd)
Hey, Ladasha! |
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10.
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LADASHA (O.S.)
Yeah, Candi! |
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LADASHA (O.S.)
Yo, we have to party tonight! |
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JEWELS sits next to VICKI. |
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CANDI
Let's do it tonight! But later, we
have a guest! |
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CANDI
Vicki, she's...
(to Vicki)
How old are you? |
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CANDI
(to Ladasha)
She's fifteen and she was caught
drinking! |
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LADASHA (O.S.)
I can relate! It happened to me
once! |
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CANDI sits on the other side of VICKI. |
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JEWELS
So, when are your friends gonna
get here? |
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VICKI
They should be here in like twenty
minutes. |
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VICKI stands up and looks around. |
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11.
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VICKI (cont'd)
Where's the bathroom? |
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JEWELS
(pointing behind
Vicki)
Over there. |
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VICKI looks behind her and sees a toilet placed in the
corner. She cringes. |
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VICKI
I'd vomit, but I keep thinking
about who used that before me. |
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VICKI starts pacing. |
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CANDI
What are you're friends like? |
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VICKI
They're nice. Mostly poor. And if
they aren't here in fifteen
minutes, I'll kill. |
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JEWELS
You just need a drink. |
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CANDI
(pointing at the
wall behind Vicki)
Third brick from the top. Just
wiggle it a little. |
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VICKI walks over to the wall and wiggles the brick. She
pulls the brick out of the wall. She puts it on the floor
and pulls a Zip-lock bag of wine out of the empty space. She
reaches in again and pulls out a box of straws. |
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VICKI
It has to be my birthday, I swear. |
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VICKI hands the bag of wine to JEWELS and gives CANDI the
box of straws. She walks back over and puts the block back
in it's place. She then sits with JEWELS and CANDI. JEWELS
places three straws into the bag. |
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VICKI (cont'd)
I didn't think jail was this fun,
or weird. |
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12.
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JEWELS takes a sip from the bag and hands it to VICKI. |
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JEWELS
Do you have a special someone? |
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VICKI takes a sip from the bag. |
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VICKI
Not now. I've had many romantic
interests in my dating life, but
then I'd tell him that I was
waiting until senior prom, and...
let's just say the road runner was
slower than they were. |
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VICKI hands the bag to CANDI. |
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JEWELS
(sarcastically)
A bus to New York,-
(seriously)
-she's means having sex. |
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CANDI
You mean you haven't got a job
yet? |
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JEWELS
To us it is. Damn it pays well. |
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VICKI
This is gonna be a long night. |
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CANDI takes a sip from the bag and passes it to VICKI. |
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END OF ACT ONE |
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13.
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INT. SCHOOL VAN - NIGHT |
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ALEX, CHERRY, JAMES, SANDY, and ZACK are in the car. ALEX
drives and CHERRY is in the passenger seat. JAMES and SANDY
sit in the middle seats. ZACK sits all the way in the
backseat. They are driving and in mid-conversation. |
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CHERRY
Look, if I say it once I've said
it a million times, we are lost. |
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ALEX
I think I know where I'm goin'. |
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CHERRY
We should have stayed on the
US-six E, you shouldn't have
turned onto the one-eighteen. Just
make a left at the end of the road
and we'll get there. |
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ALEX
There is no left on this road,
you'll see. |
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JAMES turns to SANDY, who is asleep. She starts moving and
looks up at JAMES. |
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JAMES
No, but your hangover is starting,
so death sounds sweet right now,
doesn't it? |
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CHERRY
(sarcastically)
Yes, we're there, we're just gonna
tuck-n-roll onto their lawn
without stopping to save time. |
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14.
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SANDY
(holding her head)
Oh god, my head! |
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ZACK
This isn't gonna end well. I can
tell already this is gonna be a
disaster. |
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CHERRY
Oh, shut up! That's what's gonna
ruin this plan, negative thinking. |
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SANDY
Will you all shut up before my
head explodes. |
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ZACK
Vicki is probably so miserable
right now. |
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SANDY
More miserable than me? |
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INT. JAIL CELL |
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CANDI and JEWELS sit drinking from the bag which is almost
enpty. VICKI stands, dancing as music plays through the
station. |
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She walks over to the cell doors. |
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VICKI
(slurred)
Hey, Ladasha! |
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LADASHA (O.S.)
Yeah, Vicki! |
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VICKI
(slurred)
What song is this?! |
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LADASHA (O.S.)
"Blow", by Kesha. |
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VICKI
(slurred)
I love it! I think Kesha's a
skank, but this song is jammin'! |
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15.
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LADASHA (O.S.)
I know! She gives hookers a bad
name! |
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VICKI walks back into the middle of the cell and starts
dancing again. |
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VICKI
Best jail stay ever! |
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INT. SCHOOL VAN |
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ALEX, CHERRY, JAMES, SANDY and ZACK are as we left them. |
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SANDY
She's probably in hell right now. |
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The car comes to a halting stop. |
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ALEX
It's a fork in the road. I thought
there was an exit to the road to
the jail from here. |
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CHERRY
Look, make a U-turn and go down
the US-six E. We should be there
in like ten minutes. |
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ALEX starts to make the U-turn. |
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SANDY
Wait, you can't make a U-turn
here. It's illegal. |
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ALEX continues to make the U-turn. |
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INT. JAIL CELL |
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CANDI, JEWELS, and VICKI are as we left them. |
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VICKI
Hey, guys, I thought of something. |
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16.
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VICKI
When my friends get here to break
me out, they'll need something to
distract the guards. Can you two
start a fight when they get here
so I can escape. |
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LADASHA (O.S.)
I'd love to! |
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VICKI
Thanks Ladasha!
(to Candi and
Jewels)
Let's dance! |
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The three get and start dancing as "Jump In The Line" by
Harry Belafonte starts playing. |
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INT. SCHOOL VAN |
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ALEX, CHERRY, JAMES, SANDY, and ZACK are as we left them. |
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SANDY
Guys, please, my head. |
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SANDY holds her head in pain. |
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JAMES
Poor Vicki, she's probably
someone's bitch by now. And we're
her only hope. |
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CHERRY laughs. |
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17.
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CHERRY
(laughing)
Well, James said "we're her only
hope", so now I keep seeing Vicki
as Princess Leia with that damn
cinnamon-bun hairstyle saying
"Help me Alex Lappetito, you're my
only hope." |
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They all start laughing hysterically. |
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FANTASY SEQUENCE |
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INT. PILOT CONTROLS - MILLENNIUM FALCON - NIGHT |
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ALEX sits at the controls as HAN SOLO. CHERRY sits next to
him as C-3PO. JAMES, as LUKE SKYWALKER, enters. |
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JAMES
Any messages from Leia? |
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A "bing" comes from the controls. |
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ALEX presses a button and an image of VICKI as PRINCESS LEIA
appears on the screen. |
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VICKI
Luke, where the hell are you?!
I've been waiting for you to save
me! Is this how you treat your own
sister?! |
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JAMES
We're trying, but Darth Vader is
being a real bitch. |
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ZACK enters as CHEWBACCA. |
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ZACK
Hey, have you seen the flea
collar, I think I caught some when
we were on Tatooine. |
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18.
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JAMES
Not now, Leia is sending us an
important message. |
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VICKI
Where'd you get the Wookie? |
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VICKI
Whatever, where's R2D2? |
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CHERRY
(calling out)
R2? R2? |
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SANDY enters as R2D2. |
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SANDY
What, what?! I'm here, what do you
want C-3? |
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CHERRY
(pointing at
monitor)
Leia wants you. |
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SANDY
(turns to screen)
Yes, Leia? |
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VICKI
R2, didn't you give Obi-wan my
message? |
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VICKI
Then, where the hell is he?! |
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ALEX
He couldn't some, he has arthritis
and cataracts, so fighting with
his light saber is out of the
question. |
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VICKI
So, just use him for guidance. |
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CHERRY
He has Alzheimer's. |
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19.
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JAMES
So horrible, once you reach eighty
things start to slip. |
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END OF FANTASY SEQUENCE |
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INT. SCHOOL VAN |
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ALEX, CHERRY, JAMES, SANDY and ZACK are as we left them.
They are all still laughing. |
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SANDY
I hope Vicki's okay. |
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INT. JAIL CELL |
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CANDI, JEWELS and VICKI are doing the Macarena as the song
of the same name plays. |
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LADASHA (O.S.)
Yeah! Work it girls! |
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The song ends. |
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VICKI
This is the best party I've been
to since nine-o'clock.
(to Jewels)
Gimme more booze! |
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JEWELS picks up the bag, but it's empty. |
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VICKI
It's fine, I was starting to see
Technicolor animals flying through
the air. |
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20.
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CANDI, JEWELS, and VICKI sit down with each other. |
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LADASHA (O.S.)
Ya' know, I was starting to see
things too! Like, Lady Gaga
masturbating her penis! |
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VICKI
I had a nightmare like that once!
Except it was River Phoenix! |
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JEWELS
You like River Phoenix? |
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VICKI
Yeah, but he's probably old and
ugly by now. |
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JEWELS
I should say, he's been dead for
eighteen years. |
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VICKI
Oh no! Oh what the hell, it's a
fantasy. I'll time travel. |
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CANDI
Or you could resurrect him. |
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VICKI
And sleep with a zombie? |
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JEWELS pulls a transistor radio out from under the seat. |
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CANDI
What does this look like, the
Hilton? |
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VICKI
Fine, put on some radio. I'm
willing to try anything once. |
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JEWELS turns on the radio and "Rolling In The Deep" by Adele
starts to play. |
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21.
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A TAPPING comes from the bars in the window and JEWELS turns
off the radio. |
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CHERRY (O.S.)
(whispering)
Psst. Vicki?! |
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VICKI looks at the window. |
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CHERRY'S head peers from behind the bars on the windows. |
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VICKI
Oh, Cherry. Thank god you're here.
(to Candi and
Jewels)
Thanks for the lovely time.
(to Cherry)
Did you bring something? |
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CHERRY hold up some files. |
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CHERRY
Got 'em.
(pointing at Candi
and Jewels)
Who are they? |
|
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VICKI
(pointing at
Jewels)
That's Jewels,...
(pointing at Candi)
...and that's Candi. |
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VICKI
They're my cell-mates. |
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CHERRY
Good,-
(hands Vicki a
file)
-start sawing. |
|
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22.
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VICKI
Wait, Jewels and Candi are gonna
fight to muffle the sound of our
filing through the bars. |
|
|
SANDY pops her head in next to CHERRY'S. |
|
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SANDY
Tell them to hurry up. It smells
like ass out here. |
|
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LADASHA (O.S.)
Can I help?! |
|
|
|
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LADASHA (O.S.)
Great, I hate to see a sister so
young end up in jail! |
|
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SANDY
(whispering to
Vicki)
Vicki? |
|
|
|
|
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SANDY
(whispering to
Vicki)
They're hookers aren't they? |
|
|
|
|
|
SANDY
(whispering to
Vicki)
Good. |
|
|
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JEWELS
C'mon, Candi, let's start. |
|
|
The two get up. CANDI slaps JEWELS as the girls start filing
away at the bars on the window. |
|
|
|
JEWELS slaps CANDI. |
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23.
|
|
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CANDI slaps JEWELS. |
|
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JEWELS slaps CANDI. |
|
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LADASHA (O.S.)
Ya'll are bitches! |
|
|
|
|
A bottles from from a general direction and hits the bars
smashing it to pieces. |
|
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LADASHA (O.S.)
Don't you tell me to shut up! |
|
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JEWELS
(to Ladasha)
Don't tell her not to tell you to
shut up! |
|
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|
|
|
JEWELS
(to Candi)
Oh, shut up you little tart! |
|
|
CANDI and JEWELS start wrestling. |
|
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LADASHA (O.S.)
Bitch fight! Bitch fight! |
|
|
The girls get the last bar off and Vicki turns to the
fighting hookers. |
|
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VICKI
(to Candi and
Jewels)
Bye guys. |
|
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CANDI and JEWELS pull away from their fight, walk over to
Vicki and hug her. |
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24.
|
|
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|
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LADASHA (O.S.)
I'll miss you too babe! |
|
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VICKI
Hold on, any of you got a pen? |
|
|
JEWELS pulls a lipstick case from her cleavage. |
|
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JEWELS
(handing it to
Vicki)
Here. |
|
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VICKI takes the lipstick and writes a phone number on the
wall. |
|
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VICKI
That's my number, call whenever. |
|
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VICKI starts to climb out the window. |
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VICKI (cont'd)
(climbing out
window)
Bye. |
|
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VICKI exits. CANDI and JEWELS sit together. They sigh in
sync. JEWELS turns the radio back on and "Landslide" by
Fleetwood Mac stats to play. |
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INT. SCHOOL VAN |
|
They are all as we left them, except VICKI sits next to ZACK
in the back. |
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"Landslide" also plays on the car radio. |
|
CHERRY looks at ALEX, leans over to him and kisses him on
the cheek. JAMES looks at SANDY and they kiss. VICKI rests
her head on ZACK's shoulder. |
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THE END |
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