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Unscripted
by Naomi Desautels (ndesautels@gmail.com)

Rated: PG-13   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ****
Sitcom about a writer for a romantic period drama that hates the show she writes for.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



UNSCRIPTED

INT. GARDEN - DAY
                                                            
A man EDWARD, and a woman CHARLOTTE, both in their early 20s
and attractive, dressed in Regency era clothing, are walking
in the garden of a large estate home. They come to a bench
in front of a water fountain and take a seat.
                                                            
                       CHARLOTTE
Its such a beautiful day today.
                                                            
                       EDWARD
      (Looking lovingly
       at Charlotte)
Indeed it is, but not as beautiful
as you.
                                                            
                       CHARLOTTE
      (Obviously
       uncomfortable)
Oh, Edward why must you say such
things. You know I am to be
married to Richard, soon.
                                                            
                       EDWARD
That does not change how I feel
for you. I can not shut off my
heart, as hard as I try.
                                                            
Charlotte, flusterd stands up to leave. Edward grabs her
hand and stands up as well. The two stand close to each
other and gaze into each other's eyes. Charlotte looks away.
Edward lets go of her hand.
                                                            
                       EDWARD
I apologize for my forwardness. I
sometimes lose control around you.
                                                            
 
INT. MARISA'S FLAT - NIGHT
                                                            
MARISA, who is in her late 20s with mid lengh black hair,
short, and slightly overweight and GARY, who is handsome, in
his late 20s as well and in good shape, are sitting on the
couch watching the Regency era couple on the television
screen. Marisa's flat is small but nice. The living room has
a couch and in front a large TV and speakers on either side.
There are two small side tables on each side of the couch.
The room also has an area with a dining table, two chairs,
and a small long table against the wall. Marisa is muching
on a giant bag of M&Ms.
                                                            

2.

                       CHARLOTTE
      (From the
       Television)
I know Edward. I fear I may lose
control of myself as well. That's
why I think we should not see each
other anymore.
                                                            
                       GARY
Oh my god, please don't tell me
he's about to tell her, he'll die
if they are apart.
                                                            
                       EDWARD
      (From TV, highly
       sentimental music
       plays)
Please Charlotte, don't make me
part from you. I fear I may die.
                                                            
                       GARY
      (To Marisa)
Oh come on, just when I think this
can't get any chessier, it does.
                                                            
                       MARISA
      (To Gary)
Tell me about it. Just when I
think it's gone into cheese
overboard, they ask me to add more
mush. It's getting beyond
rediculas now. I've actually added
some lines from greeting cards
into the dialogue.
                                                            
                       GARY
      (Laughs)
No you didn't.
                                                            
                       MARISA
See for yourself, I think it
starts about now.
                                                            
We see the television. Edward is holding a crying Charlotte
in his arms, as the wind lightly blows their hair.
                                                            
                       EDWARD
      (To Charlotte)
Everything about you has me
failing more and more in love with
you. It's the little things we
share that makes our love so good.
(pause)
In all my dreams, I never imagined
            (MORE)

3.

                       EDWARD (cont'd)
loving someone as wonderfull as
you. You were made for me, and
each time I look at you I know
there's no where else I'd rather
be, than right here by your side,
hand in hand, forever and always
in love.
                                                            
                       CHARLOTTE
      (Tearfully)
I don't know why you torture me
so. You know I have no choice. I
can't be with you.
                                                            
Charlotte runs off towards the estate. Edward watchs as she
leaves. The end credits for the show start.
                                                            
                       GARY
Please tell me you haven't gotten
so lazy as to be taking dialogue
from greetings cards.
                                                            
                       MARISA
I was a bit pressed for time. So I
grab some crap from Hallmark.
                                                            
                       GARY
Can't you get sued for that?
                                                            
                       MARISA
I don't think they can copyright
that kind of mindless drivel. I
took it from a few cards anyway.
                                                            
                       GARY
Why do they even continue to hire
you to write the show?
                                                            
                       MARISA
They're under the impression that
I'm some sort of genius.
                                                            
Gary laughs.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Yeah, alright. I guess since it's
become such a success they don't
want to mess with it.
                                                            
                       GARY
Why do you keep writing it?
                                                            

4.

                       MARISA
These M&Ms aren't going to pay for
themselves.
                                                            
Marisa's phone, which is on the coffee table, vibrates and a
short burst of metal music plays. Marisa picks it up and
checks her message.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Shit, I forgot, I need to meet
Kristy tomorrow.
                                                            
                       GARY
Is this my cue to leave?
                                                            
                       MARISA
Yeah sorry, she wants me to meet
her really early.
                                                            
                       GARY
Let me guess, at the ungodly hour
of what 10?
                                                            
                       MARISA
No, nine.
                                                            
                       GARY
Oh you poor thing. You're going to
have to get up in the morning like
the rest of us.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Oh piss off, you know mornings and
me, just don't go together.
                                                            
 
INT. MARISA'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
A loud noise can be heard in the darkness. Marissa turns on
the bedside light, half asleep. A door can be heard opening
and then a scrapping sound like a large blade being draged
along the floor. Marisa sits up in bed startled. She gets
out of bed and tries to turn on the bedroom light but it
won't go on. She takes her phone and uses the light to open
the door and go into the hall.

She tries the light in the hall but finds it also isn't
working. She walks down the hall and stumbles over
something. She looks down and finds a small doll, similar to
the one from Saw. She picks it up confused and continues to
walk down the hall. She sees ripped up pieces of a magazine,
and as she walks down the hall they make the sentence, I
want to play a game.

5.


She walks into the living room, and finds that the lights
still don't work. She drops the doll onto the couch. A flash
of sliver blades flicker in the darkness behind her, and a
low demonic growl can be heard. Marisa turns towards the
sound and a flash of movement can briefly be seen. Marisa
gives out a little cry of terror.
                                                            
The lights suddenly come back on, and a cat jumps from the
table top onto Marisa. Marisa falls back in surprise and the
cat quickly jumps off her and runs off into another room.
Marisa sees that the apartment is trashed and magazines have
been ripped up and thrown all over the floor. She finds that
lots of paper is in the hall and that the message she had
seen before was actually just in the jumble of words and
letters left by the cat.

She relaxes now the source of the noise has been revealed
and grabs the broom to start cleaning up. As she does the
cat runs back into the hall, runs halfway up the wall, jumps
over her and begins running around the living room.
                                                            
                       MARISA
God dammit Demon Cat. Calm down.
                                                            
Marisa continues to clean up the flat. She picks up the doll
left in the hall. Demon Cat jumps up grabs it from her hands
and runs out the window and onto the ledge underneath it,
and then runs off.
                                                            
Light begins to enter the flat and Marisa looks at her
watch. Seeing the time she curses under her breath and
frantically tries to get ready. She runs into her bedroom
and opens her chest of drawers and puts on some black jeans
and pulls over four black shirts which are all pretty much
the same. She looks at each and struggles to decide, finally
picking a simple short sleeved one. She messes up her hair a
bit and puts on thick eyeliner and leaves.
                                                            
At the front door she pulls on a jacket and grabs a small
bag and rushes out.
                                                            
 
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE FLAT - DAY
                                                            
Marisa leaves her flat in a hurry and locks the door. As
soon as she's done she turns around and finds her neighbour
ALAN, who is tall, thin and in his mid 30s, right behind
her. She takes a step back.
                                                            
                       ALAN
Hi Marisa. How are you?
                                                            

6.

                       MARISA
Good, I'm actually just...
                                                            
                       ALAN
      (Interupts)
Did you watch the game last night?
It was unbelivable.
                                                            
                       MARISA
I don't actually watch football.
                                                            
                       ALAN
Oh yes, of course. What are you up
to today?
                                                            
                       MARISA
Well actually I've got a meeting
to go to, and I'm actually a bit
late, so...
                                                            
                       ALAN
      (Interrupts)
Oh yes, me too. I need to go to
the bank today. They keep sending
my statements to someone else.
I've called them, and they said
                                                            
Marisa smiles polietly and tries to move towards the exit,
but Alan moves with her and continues talking.
                                                            
                       ALAN
they had changed it, but once
again I didn't get it. Those banks
just don't know what they are
doing it seems.
                                                            
Marisa nods polietly but again tries to slip past him.
                                                            
                       ALAN
It's the same with the post
office. I sent a letter the other
week to my mum but she still
hasn't got it.
                                                            
                       MARISA
      (Imagined)
Yes I'm sure that's all very
interesting to you but I've got to
get out of here, so get out of the
fucking way!
                                                            
Marisa smiles at her thought, as Alan continues droning on.
She very obviously looks at her watch.
                                                            

7.

                       ALAN
I sometimes think they just throw
all the letters away as they can't
be bothered to sort them and
deliver them. They probably spend
their days just sitting around
drinking tea and watching soap
operas, after they've chucked them
all. Actually I don't think they
even work all day do they. Don't
they just work a few hours in the
morning delivering the post. Cushy
job, that's for sure. Maybe I
should have been a postman. Just
walk around a bit and if you run
out of time, just dump the rest in
the rubbish. Actually maybe that's
what happened to the bank
statements. Perhaps I should go to
the post office today to complain
instead of the bank.
                                                            
Alan finally pauses in his story and Marisa dives past him
and runs for the door. She frantically tries to get it open,
and looks back in terror as Alan turns and begins to walk
towards her. She pulls on the handle but it won't open. She
keeps trying in increasenly panic, as Alan moves towards
her.
                                                            
                       ALAN
You just can't get anything done
now a days with out having to
complain until your blue in the
face.
                                                            
She sees the deadbolt is fliped, so she opens it and gets
the door open.
                                                            
                       MARISA
      (Rushed)
Sorry got to run, bye.
                                                            
Marisa quickly runs out the door. Alan doesn't seem to
notice.
                                                            
                       ALAN
You'd think in this day and age
they could get something so simple
right.
                                                            
Alan becomes aware that Marisa is gone now.
                                                            

8.

                       ALAN
Oh, right guess she had somewhere
to go. Everyone is always is such
a rush.
                                                            
One of the other neighbours opens their door and goes to
step out into the hall. They see Alan and quickly dive back
into their flat and slam the door shut. Alan sees them and
moves towards their door.
                                                            
                       ALAN
Oh hi, Dave.
                                                            
 
INT. KRISTY'S OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Marisa walks into Kristy's crowded and messy little office.
Kristy is in her 40s and dresses in bold colours and has too
many accesories and jewlery.
                                                            
                       MARISA
      (Slightly out of
       breath)
Sorry I'm late.
                                                            
                       KRISTY
Oh, no problem. Have a seat.
                                                            
Marisa sits down in the chair in front of Kristy's cluttered
desk. There are so many papers that she can no longer see
Kristy. Kristy takes the big stack and moves them to another
large pile of papers on the floor next to her desk, so now
they can see each other. They stare at each other for a few
uncomfortable moments.
                                                            
                       MARISA
So, what did you need to see me
for. Is someone interested in the
vampire detective script?
                                                            
                       KRISTY
No, I just wanted to make sure you
were prepared for the Q&A session
later.
                                                            
                       MARISA
What?
                                                            
                       KRISTY
Don't you remember, the Women's
Media Show at Earl's Court
Exhibition Centre. I booked you in
for an audience question and
answer session. To promote the DVD
            (MORE)

9.

                       KRISTY (cont'd)
release of the first season of
Ashford Manor.
                                                            
                       MARISA
What? No, you didn't tell me about
this.
                                                            
                       KRISTY
I'm sure I did. I called you about
it a month ago, or was it last
week. When I told you about the
offer on your script.
                                                            
                       MARISA
What offer? Was it for the zombie
cowboy script? I knew someone
would get that.
                                                            
                       KRISTY
No, it was for the one about the
talking dog.
                                                            
                       MARISA
I don't have a script about a
talking dog.
                                                            
                       KRISTY
Don't you. Oh, that's funny. I was
sure that was you. Oh, that was
Jimmy. Yes of course.
                                                            
                       MARISA
You confused me with someone
called Jimmy. So you told him
about the conference.
                                                            
                       KRISTY
No, I mean yes, well maybe.
Anyway, you know about it now so
it's fine. You just need to be
there at four. You don't have any
plans for today anyway, do you?
                                                            
                       MARISA
Well...
                                                            
 
INT. MARISA'S FLAT - DAY
                                                            
Marisa is in her underwear on the couch with a bunch of
crisps and bags of chocolate on the table. She picks up the
remote and pushes play.
                                                            

10.

                       MARISA
Alright, Alien and Predator
marathon, here we go.
                                                            
 
INT. KRISTY'S OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
                       MARISA
I guess not really.
                                                            
                       KRISTY
Excellent, well I'll meet you
there at four. I need to go and do
some networking there anyway.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Ok I'll see you later then.
                                                            
Marisa gets up to leave.
                                                            
                       KRISTY
Oh and a courier dropped this off
for you.
                                                            
Kristy hands Marisa a small package. Marisa opens it and
takes out a script. On the front is written:

Marcy,

This episode needs more drama. I've added some suggestions
in the script. Please have the re-write ready by Sunday.

Emily
                                                            
                       KRISTY
Oh shit. When did this arrive?
                                                            
                       KRISTY
Oh, ummm, yesterday. I knew I was
seeing you today so I just set it
aside.
                                                            
 
EXT. MALL - DAY
                                                            
Marisa is waiting outside of a large shopping mall. She
looks around nerviously and flips through the script sent
back to her. She reads a comment left in red ink at the
bottom of a page:

Needs to be more heart renching. Maybe Lucy should mention
that her grandmother died, by being run over by a horse
while trying to get medicine for her little sister Sarah.

11.

Then how she spent day and night nursing her sister, and how
Sarah told her she was scared and Lucy tells her not be
afraid, she promises not to let anything happen to her. Then
Sarah dies in her arms.
                                                            
                       MARISA
      (to herself)
It's a dinner scene for
christsakes, why on earth would
she suddenly start telling this
story. To her fucking aunt and
uncle no less, did they not
realise Sarah died ten years ago.
The scene is just meant to have
her uncle suggest she go to the
ball at Ashford Manor.
                                                            
She looks up and sees her friend PAIGE waving at her as she
runs over on very high heels. Paige is in her early 30s,
tall, black, thin and dressed very fashionably with a very
large handbag. The two hug with lots of arm waving and
enthusiasm.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
      (Loudly)
Hello, darling. Sorry I'm late, I
spent 15 minutes looking for my
oyster card before I decided, fuck
it, and took a cab.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Thanks ok. If you had been on
time, I think I may have died of
shock. You're looking fabulous as
always.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
Thank you. You're looking good
yourself. Now what's the plan?
                                                            
                       MARISA
Basically I just found out I'm
meant to be answering questions at
the Women's Media Show today. I
need to get something to wear, and
you know how much I hate shopping
and how stressing it is, so I
figured I'd better call in the
expert.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
That was wise. What kind of things
are you thinking of?
                                                            

12.

                       MARISA
Not sure. It's going to be full of
normal people, so I can't go in my
usual clothes.
                                                            
Cut to shot of Marisa's closet which is full of black
gothic/burlesque type clothes.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
No, we mustn't scare the normal
people. Right, here's what we're
going to do.
                                                            
Paige opens her handbag and begins riffling through it. She
begins handing items to Marisa, it starts with things like
makeup, a wallet, receipts, but soon includes a pair of
shoes, a small travel iron, 3 clothes hangers, and a latex
gimp mask.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
Oh, I forgot I had that in there.
That's from last Saturday's night.
                                                            
                       MARISA
It was a good club then?
                                                            
                       PAIGE
      (still looking
       through bag)
Bit tame, for my standards.
(pause) Now I know I have it in
here somewhere. Aha, here it is!
                                                            
Paige pulls out a mall directory and hands it to Marisa,
who's hands are loaded with items. As Marisa can't grab it
she sticks in between her teeth and begins to put all the
items back into her bag.

Once everything thing is back in, except for a tube of
mascara, she takes the directory from Marisa, and walks over
to a a large raised area in front of the mall which had
flowers in it. She puts the map down on the flat surface. It
has little arrows stuck to it and some large crosses and a
few skull and cross bones.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
Ok here's what we're going to do.
                                                            
Paige takes the mascara and points to the entrance of the
mall. Music begins to play in the background, the strong
motivational type that usually plays in military films when
they are planning their strategy.
                                                            

13.

                       PAIGE
Our objective is to find
conservative clothes that will fit
you for a resonable price. So the
areas we will need to avoid will
be here
                                                            
Paige points to a store on the map.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
      (Pointing to
       various locations
       and areas on the
       map)
and here. We should just avoid
this whole general area. Our first
target will be here.
                                                            
Paige points to one of the stores with a skull and crossbone
drawn on it.
                                                            
                       MARISA
      (confused)
We're going to a poison store?
That doesn't exactly look
promising.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
Normally it would be a no go zone
for me, but for you I'm willing to
sacrifice. Their clothes are
boring as hell but they go up to a
size 18.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Oh, I see.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
      (pointing to the
       map)
Then we'll push on to hit this
target and if all else fails,
we'll fallback here.
                                                            
                       MARISA
      (hesitantly)
Ok.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
      (with authority)
Do you know understand the plan?
                                                            

14.

                       MARISA
      (increasenly
       hesterical)
Yes. I think so. (pause) I'm sure
it'll be alright. It's just so
daunting. I hate shopping so much.
It's all so pointless. None of it
matters. (pause) It's all just
such a waste of life.
                                                            
Paige grabs Marisa by the shoulders and gently shakes her.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
      (With Authority)
Get a hold of yourself soldier. I
need you. Your country needs you.
Now we're going to go in there and
find those clothes. We will not be
defeated by misleading signage. We
will not bow down to pushy
shoppers. And we will certainly
not be tempted by those facist
cupcake stands that charge way too
much and taste like cement. No we
will hold our objective and we
will triump. We will beat this
mall or we will die trying. Now
are you with me?
                                                            
                       PAIGE
      (With Confidence)
Yes, sir! (pause) I mean mam.
(pause) Mam? That's such a
horrible sounding word. Oh
whatever, I'm with you. Let's do
this thing.
                                                            
 
INT. MALL - DAY
                                                            
Paige and Marisa enter and mall and start walking past
deserted shops. The mall is extremely quiet and no shoppers
are in sight. Pieces of paper litter the floor.
                                                            
                       MARISA
It's a lot quieter than I
expected.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
Don't be fooled, this is the
crappy end. You never know in
these places, it all seems fine
and then before you know it, they
            (MORE)

15.

                       PAIGE (cont'd)
are everywhere.
                                                            
A woman with wild hair and dead eyes with bleary smeared
makeup slowly lurches out of a narrow hallway leading to the
bathrooms. A few more people with equally deshelved looks
come out of a store. They walk slowly and stifly.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Oh my god. They look horrible.
                                                            
Paige looks around. More and more of the zombie people
appear. She looks concerned.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
They're hardcore shoppers. Be
carefull, don't let them near you.
                                                            
A short bust of metal music goes off and Marisa pulls out
her phone. She reads a text she's received from Emily:

I think Hamond should do more to impress Lucy at the ball.
Like give her two dozen red roses.

Marisa rolls her eyes and puts her phone away.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
From that look I take it the text
was from the Posh Twit.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Yeah she seems to think she can
write the show better, but the
crap she comes up with is even too
rediculas for the show or doesn't
make sense. Like bringing two
dozen red roses to a ball for
someone you haven't met yet.
                                                            
Zombie shoppers continue to appear, all moving in the same
direction. Marisa and Paige are now completely surrounded.
They get swept up in the crowd as it moves down a side
corridoor. The crowd all moves towards a show store with big
signs announcing, Closing down sale, 70% off, everything
must go. Inside the store is chaos.

The mob of brainless shoppers are trying to get in the
store. Employees are fighting them back with bars from
display racks. They are trying to close the doors to the
store. The crowd is pulling at them and one employee has
their arm pulled off by the zombie mob. The employee grabs
their arm back and beats back the crowd with it.


16.

The employees manage to get the crowd back enough so they
can close the door most of the way. One of them comes out
the door with a flaming torch and waves it back and forth so
the crowd backs up. She pulls out a bottle of alcohol and
pours it on the floor in a half circle around the enterance,
and sets it on fire. This keeps back the crowd.

Marisa and Paige are trapped in the mob.
                                                            
                       MARISA
      (Panicked)
We have to get out of here!
                                                            
                       PAIGE
You're going to have to go on with
me. I can't resist it. I have to
see what they have in there.
                                                            
                       MARISA
No, I can't go on without you.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
      (Clutching Marisa)
Yes you can, and you will. You're
going to make it out of here.
You're strong enough.
                                                            
                       MARISA
      (Tearfully)
I can't leave you here, what if I
never see you again.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
You can't think like that. Now you
have to get out of here, there's
not much time. You have to save
yourself. If I don't make it out
of there, just do one thing for
me, you have to tell Vic I love
him.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Which one is Vic, the lawyer or
the banker?
                                                            
                       PAIGE
No not those idiots, my new
vibrator. It's unbelivable. Really
you have to get one, no man can
compare.
                                                            

17.

                       MARISA
Dammit Paige, I'm telling you're
vibrator you love it. Why the hell
would I talk to a vibrator.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
Babe, I've had better
conversations with Vic than my
ex-husband.
                                                            
A few battered people leave the store desperatly holding
onto their box of shoes. The crowd becomes more violent. The
employees try to let a few people into the store.
                                                            
                       WOMAN
      (Frantically)
The Q! Get in the Q! There's a Q
here!
                                                            
The crowd around Marisa and Paige gets more and more worked
up. Paige takes on a slightly dead eye look and vacantly
stares at the store.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
      (Looking at the
       store)
I have to get in there.
                                                            
Paige begins to try and push her way in. She looks back at
Marisa.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
Go save yourself. I'll call you
later.
                                                            
Paige uses her giant handbag to beat people off as she
pushes her way into the crowd. Marisa pushes her way out of
the crowd and finally is free of the mob. She is pushed to
the ground by a frantic shopper. She crawls under and bunch
and stands up in the clearer side of the hallway. She runs
from the chasos and gets on the escalator to the upper
floor.

She enters a clothes shop.
                                                            
 
INT. STORE - DAY
                                                            
Marisa walks around the store and picks up a few dresses.
She stops in front of one dress rack and checks all the
sizes of the dresses. Not able to find the one she needs she
grabs one anyway and looks around the store. Unable to find
anyone she begins to walk around looking. The store is

18.

deserted.

She continues to search.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Hello? Does anyone work here?
                                                            
She goes up to another lever which has women's casual
clothes, but still can't find anyone. A tumbleweed blows
across the floor.
                                                            
Suddely a woman grabs her from behind. The woman looks
slightly frantic.
                                                            
                       SHOPPER
      (A bit crazy)
Excuse me, can you tell me if you
have any demin jackets. I've been
walking around here for ages now
looking for them. Looking for
anyone really. (laughs) Thank god
I found you. I was begining to
lose hope!
                                                            
                       MARISA
Sorry I don't work here. I'm
actually looking for an employee.
                                                            
                       SHOPPER
Oh sorry, I thought so, but I
wasn't sure and I thought maybe,
just maybe you were. I guess I'll
keep looking. Or maybe we should
look together.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Umm, actually I think maybe I
won't bother, I'll just...
                                                            
Marisa breaks lose from the woman and runs off. She dashes
past some displays and finds a counter with a till. A
exceptionally tall, thin, and beautifull shop assitant is
behind the counter texting on her phone.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Excuse me, sorry, I was wondering
if you had this in a larger size.
                                                            
The shop assistant continues to type on her phone completely
ignoring her.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Umm, excuse me.
                                                            

19.

The girl continues to text and ignore her. Marisa waits
until she finally finishes with her phone.
                                                            
                       SHOP GIRL
      (With an accent)
Yes?
                                                            
                       MARISA
I was wondering if you had this
dress in a larger size.
                                                            
                       SHOP GIRL
They are downstairs on right.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Yes, I know that, I was wondering
if you had more in the back room.
                                                            
                       SHOP GIRL
What you want?
                                                            
                       MARISA
I would like this dress in a size
14, do you know if there are some
in the backroom?
                                                            
                       SHOP GIRL
      (looking at Marisa
       with disgust)
Oh you want big size. Yes we don't
usually have size 14, I'll check.
                                                            
She takes the dress from her and rolls her eyes.
                                                            
Marisa waits by the till until the girl returns with the
dress. She tosses it at Marisa and pulls out her phone
again.

Marisa goes to the changing rooms. Four employees are
standing around talking. They grab the clothes from Marisa,
glance at them and hand her a giant plastic tag with the
number 3. They then resume talking to each other.

Marisa waits akwardly. They completely ignore her, so she
hesitantly walks into the changing room and finds a stall.

Cut to her standing in front of the mirror in the first
dress which is like a giant shapeless tent on her.

Cut to her struggling to put on the next dress, which won't
even go up one of her legs. She takes it off and looks at
the tag it reads 14. She looks at the one she had on before,
it also says 14.

20.


Cut to her in a dress that fits. It's dark blue and fairly
boring.
                                                            
 
INT. MALL - DAY
                                                            
Marisa is walking down the hallway, with a bag from the
store.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
      (Behind her)
Marisa!
                                                            
Marisa turns and sees Paige looking slightly dishevled
coming towards her.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
      (Excitedly)
You have to see what I got. The
are just so cute.
                                                            
She opens a box and pulls out some giant heel red shoes with
a giant bow on them.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Oh dammit. I didn't even think of
that. I can't wear my goth boots
to this thing.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
Don't you have some heels?
                                                            
                       MARISA
I did but the heels broke on two
of them, and demon cat chewed up a
pair. Now, all I have are knee
lenght goth boots, ankle lenght
goth boots, and that's it.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
No worry there's a good one, just
up here on the right.
                                                            
 
INT. SHOE STORE - DAY
                                                            
Marisa picks up a pair of shoes from a sales rack. She tries
them on but it's clear they are too tight.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Bit tight, but they look so good.
I'll see if they have a size up.
                                                            

21.

Marisa walks over to a shop assitant who is with another
customer. She waits by the side for him to finish. As she
waits a small group of people form, all waiting. As soon as
the customer starts to walk away, Marisa grabs the assistant
(literally).
                                                            
                       MARISA
      (Holding up one of
       the shoes)
Do you know if you have these in a
size 7?
                                                            
                       SHOE GUY
No sorry, those are sale items,
all the ones we have are on
display.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Damn.
                                                            
Marisa lets him go and the group of people pounce on him.
                                                            
Marisa walks back to Paige, who is now trying on another
pair of shoes.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
Oh, I just have to get these.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Don't you have a pair like that?
                                                            
                       PAIGE
No those ones have one strap and
these have two. Totally different.
                                                            
                       MARISA
      (doubtfully)
Right, I can see that now.
                                                            
Marisa tires on the shoes again and walks around in them.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Do you think they might strech a
bit? They are really nice and on
sale.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
Maybe.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Oh, I don't know what to do.
                                                            
Walks around a bit more.
                                                            

22.

                       MARISA
They aren't that uncomfortable. I
think I'm going to get them.
                                                            
                       PAIGE
Excellent, I'm going to get these
two pairs.
                                                            
 
INT. THE WEOMEN'S MEDIA SHOW - DAY
                                                            
Marisa and Kristy are outside of an area with a raised
stage, a desk with a few chairs behind it and in front a
bunch of folding chairs. Some women are siting in the crowd
already. Big posters for the show Ashford Manor are behind
the stage.
                                                            
                       KRISTY
Right, so it's going to be really
easy. The fans will get a chance
to ask you some questions.
                                                            
                       MARISA
What kind of questions?
                                                            
                       KRISTY
Oh I'm sure it'll be the usual
stuff, don't worry.
                                                            
EMILY, an exceptionally beauifull woman comes and joins
them. She is dressed very elegantly.
                                                            
                       EMILY
      (Posh Accent)
Hello Melissa. I didn't know you
were coming as well.
                                                            
                       MARISA
It's Marisa, actually I didn't
know until today.
                                                            
                       EMILY
Oh that would explain your outfit.
I hope this doesn't take too long,
I have reservations at Amaya
tonight.
                                                            
                       MARISA
I'm sure it won't take too long, I
mean what is there to ask about
this show right. (laughs to
herself)
                                                            

23.

                       EMILY
      (Sneers at Marisa
       and then
       dismisses her)
Oh Richard, there you are.
                                                            
Emily walks off to talk to other people.
                                                            
                       KRISTY
Who was that?
                                                            
                       MARISA
That's Emily, she's the producer
of Ashford Manor. Probably because
daddy is one of the executives of
the channel.
                                                            
                       KRISTY
Oh, it's about to start. You
better go and take your seat.
                                                            
Marisa walks very slowly and painfully, over to the stage
and sits down at the seat on the end. Marisa - Writer is
written a card in front of it facing the audience. Sitting
next to her is Emily and on the other side is the three
stars of the show.
                                                            
The audience area quickly fills up. There is an older man
standing on the side of the stage with a microphone.
                                                            
                       ANOUNCER
Ladies and Gentlemen, we are
pleased to have with us today some
of the cast and crew from hit show
Ashford Manor. Some of you will
have received a numbered card with
your ticket, anyone with one of
these can ask a question. We'll
start with number 1.
                                                            
                       FAN 1
Hello. My question is for James
Martin, do you think Edward will
marry Jane?
                                                            
                       JAMES (EDWARD)
Sorry, I can't really say what's
going to happen this season. We'll
have to see what the writer has in
store.
                                                            
Applause. Another fan stands up.
                                                            

24.

                       FAN 2
I was wondering why you think
Ashford Manor has become so
popular?
                                                            
                       EMILY
I believe that it speaks to most
people. The epic love story at
it's centre really resonates with
most people. The Rengency time
period had such a romance about
it. I think the population are
just in the mood to embrace such a
moving story.
                                                            
                       FAN 3
Hi, umm, my question is for the
writer. Where did you get the idea
for the show from?
                                                            
                       MARISA
Oh, well umm...
                                                            
 
INT. DORM ROOM - DAY
                                                            
A younger Marisa is in her dorm room with a friend.
Marissa's room has a lot of horror and Sci Fi film posters.
                                                            
                       FRIEND
I still think you should come out
with us, you can finish the
assignment later.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Sorry, I can't, I'm really
stressed about this one.
                                                            
                       FRIEND
How can you be stressed, you study
screenwriting, I mean is that even
a course.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Oh piss off, it's a lot harder
than you think. I've failled the
other assignments for this class
so if I don't get a good mark I'll
fail it and have to redo it again
next year. I can't think of a
worst punishment.
                                                            

25.

                       FRIEND
Which class is it?
                                                            
                       MARISA
Writing for women.
                                                            
                       FRIEND
      (Laughs)
How can you fail that?
                                                            
                       MARISA
The teacher thinks I don't
understand how to write for women.
I was trying to write some scripts
that weren't stereotypically
women's stuff, you know, but she
says I've missed the point. She's
so irritating. Not all women want
to watch dumb love stories. You
know what, that's what I'll do,
I'll write the most cliched stupid
love story I can think of. If
that's what she thinks TV for
women is, then I'll lay on all the
cringeworthy cheesyness she can
handle.
                                                            
 
INT. KRISTY'S OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Marisa is in Ellen's office, which is messy and unorganized.
                                                            
                       MARISA
This is so exciting. Do they
really want to make the show, I
can't believe I've finally got
something picked up.
                                                            
                       KRISTY
Yes they are really excited about
it as well. They're even going to
go ahead and commision a pilot
right away. They've even cast the
parts of Charlotte and Edward.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Charlotte and Edward, what do you
mean? They aren't in the show.
                                                            
                       KRISTY
No I'm pretty sure that's it, I've
got it here somewhere.
                                                            

26.

Ellen ruffles through her papers and comes back with a
script. She begins to flip through, we can see the title is
Ashford Manor.
                                                            
                       MARISA
What, that's a script I wrote in
Uni. How did you even get that?
                                                            
                       KRISTY
This was in with the scripts you
gave me. I thought it was pretty
good.
                                                            
                       MARISA
So the show they want to make is
that? I can't believe anyone would
want to make that. I wrote it for
a psycho teacher in a crummy class
I had to take. I got a good mark,
but I've always considered it my
worst work. I thought I had thrown
it out ages ago.
                                                            
 
INT. THE WOMEN'S MEDIA SHOW - DAY
                                                            
We return to Marisa stuggling to answer the question.
                                                            
                       MARISA
umm, so you see it was meant to be
a joke. It was the sappiest,
stupidest thing I could think of.
(laughs)
                                                            
The audience looks at her with disbelief and then anger.
They pick up pitchforks and flaming torches and begin to
move towards her.
                                                            
                       MARISA
      (To camera)
Yeah, that might be the best idea.
                                                            
                       MARISA
      (to audience)
Well obviously it's based on books
like Withering Heights and umm,
that other one, umm, Pride and
Prejudice.
                                                            
The fan waits a bit and then looking slightly disapointed
sits down again. The next fan stands up.
                                                            

27.

                       FAN 4
      (Looking at Marisa)
I find Emma, really inspirational,
I feel at times she is living my
life. I know there has been some
critism of her in the media. Do
you feel she's a good role model?
                                                            
                       MARISA
      (Pauses a bit
       before answering)
A role model? Umm I mean she's
not...well I guess she's from a
different time, you know, so then
things were quite different...
                                                            
                       EMILY
      (Buts in)
Charlotte is an independant women
who doesn't want to follow her
family's wishes but instead follow
her own heart. Therefore I think
she's a great role model.
                                                            
 
INT. BACK AREA OF EXHIBITION CENTRE - DAY
                                                            
People are standing around in a backroom area. They have
glasses of wine and are eating finger food. Marisa is
standing with Kristy.
                                                            
                       KRISTY
You didn't sound that bad.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Really, stumbling over your words,
desperatly trying to think of
something not offensive to say,
sounds good. On top of that I
think these shoes are actually
killing me.
                                                            
Emily comes over and joins them.
                                                            
                       EMILY
That went well, don't you think
Melanie?
                                                            
                       MARISA
      (slightly
       sarcastically)
Yeah it was great.
                                                            

28.

                       EMILY
I love the way you left your
answers open to interpretation,
and really took your time with
them. Did you finish re-writing
that script yet?
                                                            
                       MARISA
You mean adding in all the
'suggestions' you gave me?
                                                            
                       EMILY
Did I not just ask you this? I
know you're speaking English but
sometimes I just don't understand
what your saying at all. We'll
need it by tomorrow to make the
shooting schedule, remember. I'm
sure you don't have any other
pressing matters to attend to.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Yeah I'll have it by then.
                                                            
                       EMILY
      (To Ellen)
Have we met?
                                                            
                       KRISTY
I saw you briefly earlier. I'm
Marisa's agent, Ellen.
                                                            
                       EMILY
Oh, I didn't think she'd need an
agent. I mean other than Ashford
Manor, she hasn't been a part of
any other projects has she?
                                                            
Marisa imagines that she grabs an unopened bottle of wine
from the table and begins bludgeon her with it. She then
stands over her and laughs hesterically.
                                                            
Emily turns and starts to walk away.
                                                            
                       MARISA
I have... other projects... I'm
working on now. What are you
working on? I bet not much...
she's not even listsening anyway.
                                                            
                       KRISTY
Wow, it must be a lot of fun to
work with her.
                                                            

29.

                       MARISA
About as much fun as these shoes
are.
                                                            
 
INT. MARISA'S FLAT - NIGHT
                                                            
Marisa crawls through her front door to the couch. She pulls
herself up and sits down. She tries to remove her shoes but
can't get them off. She becomes increasenly frustrated. She
crawls to the kitchen and gets a hammer from under the sink,
she uses it to finally pry off the shoes. There's a light
knock at the door and MUM enters, and closes the door.
                                                            
                       MUM
What on earth are you doing?
                                                            
Mum walks in and throws her bag and coat over one of the
chairs.
                                                            
                       MARISA
I got some shoes today on sale but
they were a bit small. I thought
maybe they'd streach but I think
they shrunk. I had to forcibly
remove them.
                                                            
Marisa gets up and sits on the couch.
                                                            
                       MUM
Oh, well you should always buy a
size bigger. What are you all
dressed up for?
                                                            
                       MARISA
I got booked into this Q&A session
at The Women's Media Show, which
was a kind of exhibition show.
                                                            
                       MUM
Oh for that show you write for, is
that still on then?
                                                            
                       MARISA
Yes mum, it's one of the top shows
on tele.
                                                            
                       MUM
Oh, right. So how's things? Have
you seen any good movies lately?
                                                            

30.

                       MARISA
Everything is about the same. I'll
be going to the movies tomorrow
with Gary. We'll probably see
something actiony.
                                                            
                       MUM
Yes you go out a lot don't you.
Always going to expensive fancy
places. Well I guess some people
want to spend their money on
things like that.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Umm, I don't go out that often and
if I do we usually end up at TGIF
or somewhere like that, so not
exactly fancy.
                                                            
                       MUM
Have you thought about going back
to school?
                                                            
                       MARISA
What, no, why?
                                                            
                       MUM
Well you can't really do anything
without a degree now a days.
                                                            
                       MARISA
I have a degree, in Screenwriting
remember?
                                                            
                       MUM
Yes but I mean a real degree.
                                                            
                       MARISA
Umm, it's kind of late mum, and I
need to work on a script. How
about I come and see you tomorrow
afternoon.
                                                            
                       MUM
      (Dramatically)
Oh I see. No time for your mum.
Oh, ok I'll go then. Just thought
maybe you'd like to spend some
time together, but I guess you
have more important things to do.
                                                            

31.

                       MARISA
Well sorry mum, I'd love to be
able to chat, but I really have to
finish it for this horrible woman
Emily.
                                                            
                       MUM
Yes fine, see you tomorrow then,
maybe.
                                                            
Mum leaves and Marisa locks the door and sits down on the
couch exhausted. Demon cat comes and sits down on her lap,
Marisa pets him.
                                                            
                                         END
                                                            


FADE OUT.


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From JWU Date 11/5/2012 ****
Has a HBO "Girls" feel to it. I could see Lena Dunham playing the lead role


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