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Actual Five Minute Macbeth
by Cindy Raspiller (supercindylou@gmailcom)

Rated: PG   Genre: Miscellaneous   User Review: ***1/2
This one actually came in under 5 minutes. That was the goal. :)


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



ACTUAL FIVE MINUTE MACBETH

EXT. ACT I - DAY
                                                            
Three witches are on the left of the stage, stirring a
cauldron and muttering when not speaking. All other action
takes place center stage.
                                                            
Captain, King D and Ross are gathered.
                                                            
                       CAPTAIN
King Duncan! Macbeth just fought
two battles for us and won!
                                                            
                       KING D
Huzzah!
                                                            
                       ROSS
King Duncan! The Thane of Cawdor
is a traitor!
                                                            
                       KING D
Kill him!
                                                            
                       ROSS
Yes sir!
                                                            
End of a battle, Macbeth and Banquo are talking.
                                                            
                       WITCH 1
      (From their spot
       off to the right)
Banquo! Your decendents will be
kings!
                                                            
                       BANQUO
Awesome!
                                                            
                       WITCH 2
Macbeth, you will be the Thane of
Cawdor, Thane of Glamis, and the
King of Scotland!
                                                            
                       MACBETH
Hot dog!
                                                            
Enter Ross and Angus
                                                            
                       ROSS
Hey Macbeth! The Thane of Cawdor
will be dead soon, so the King's
making you the Thane!
                                                            

2.

                       MACBETH
Double hot dog!
                                                            
                       BANQUO
The prophecy is coming true!
                                                            
King D's throne room again. King D, Malcolm, Macbeth, Ross,
and Banquo are all chillin'.
                                                            
                       KING D
Macbeth, you're so fly! I'm so
happy I'm going to make my son,
Malcolm, heir to the throne!
                                                            
Everybody cheers
                                                            
                       MACBETH
Looks like I'll have to kill him.
                                                            
                       KING D
Say what?
                                                            
                       MACBETH
Nothing.
                                                            
Everyone but Macbeth leaves, enter Lady Macbeth.
                                                            
                       MACBETH
My dearest Chuck, can you help me
kill King Duncan?
                                                            
                       LADY MACBETH
Sure hun.
                                                            
 
INT. ACT II - DAY
                                                            
Banquo, Fleance and Macbeth are hanging out.
                                                            
                       BANQUO
Hey Macbeth, you don't think those
crazy witches are tricking us, do
you?
                                                            
                       MACBETH
Silly Banquo, tricks are for kids.
                                                            
Awkward silence
                                                            
                       MACBETH
Yes. Yes, they're tricking us.
                                                            

3.

                       BANQUO
Oh good, I wouldn't want you to
kill me to get your way or
anything, you know?
                                                            
                       MACBETH
Ha ha! Yeah...
                                                            
Banquo and Fleance leave.
                                                            
                       MACBETH
Note to self: Kill Banquo...
                                                            
Enter Lady Macbeth
                                                            
                       LADY MACBETH
Hi dear, did you kill King Duncan?
                                                            
                       MACBETH
Yep.
                                                            
A knock on the door. Enter Macduff, Porter and Lennox.
                                                            
                       LENNOX
Rough night?
                                                            
                       MACBETH
Tell me about it.
                                                            
                       MACDUFF
The King is dead!
                                                            
Lady Macbeth faints. She is ignored.
                                                            
                       MACBETH
It's all my fault!
                                                            
                       MACDUFF
No it's not, his servants killed
him.
                                                            
Ross runs across stage
                                                            
                       ROSS
Malcolm and Donalbain ran away so
now Macbeth is king!
                                                            
                       MACBETH
Woot!
                                                            
 

4.

INT. ACT III - DAY
                                                            
Macbeth is talking to the "murderers" of King D.
                                                            
                       MACBETH
Go kill Banquo and Fleance!
                                                            
The murderers kill Banquo and Fleance runs away.
                                                            
                       MACBETH
Oye, I feel so guilty!
                                                            
Now everyone's partying in Macbeth's honor. Everyone is
there, getting ready to eat.
                                                            
                       SOME RANDOM LORD
Hey Macbeth, come sit next to me!
                                                            
                       MACBETH
Can't, that seat's alrady taken.
                                                            
                       SOME RANDOM LORD
No, no one's sitting there.
                                                            
The person in the seat turns around, it's the ghost of
Banquo!
                                                            
                       MACDUFF
Ahhhh!!!! The ghost of Banquo!!!!
                                                            
Everyone looks confused.
                                                            
                       LADY MACBETH
Ignore him. Sometimes he goes
crazy. You should all go home
now.
                                                            
Everyone leaves, mumbling about not eating dinner and how
their king is insane.
                                                            
Hecate walks over to the witches.
                                                            
                       HECATE
Why are you helping Macbeth? Give
him some bad news too.
                                                            
                       WITCH 2
Okie doke.
                                                            
 
INT. ACT IV - DAY
                                                            
Macbeth walks over to the witches
                                                            

5.

                       MACBETH
Got any more prophecies?
                                                            
                       WITCH 1
Beware Macduff!
                                                            
                       WITCH 2
You cannot be harmed by any man
born naturally.
                                                            
                       WITCH 3
You have nothing to fear until
Birnam Wood walks to your castle.
                                                            
                       MACBETH
Sounds good.
                                                            
                       WITCH 1
Oh, and if the thought ever
crossed your mind, I'd suggest not
trying to kill Macduff.
                                                            
                       MACBETH
Whateva.
                                                            
On the other side of the stage, Macduff's entire family is
killed.
                                                            
Malcolm and Macduff are talking together now.
                                                            
                       MALCOLM
So do you think you'd make a good
king?
                                                            
                       MACDUFF
Sure.
                                                            
                       MALCOLM
I wouldn't. I'm all lusty and
greedy and ew.
                                                            
                       MACDUFF
Yeah, me too.
                                                            
                       MALCOLM
Ha ha! I was just testing your
integrity!
                                                            
                       MACDUFF
Ha ha!
                                                            

6.

                       MALCOLM
Oh, and your family was just
killed.
                                                            
                       MACDUFF
Waaaaah!
                                                            
 
INT. ACT V - DAY
                                                            
Lady Macbeth, her gentle woman, and a Doctor are all
gathered in Lady Macbeth's bedroom.
                                                            
                       LADY MACBETH
I can't wash the blood and/or
guilt from my poor little hands!
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
My diagnosis is she's crazy. Good
day.
                                                            
Back to the battlefield with Macduff and Malcolm.
                                                            
                       MALCOLM
Ok loyal troops, cut down those
branches and we'll disguise
ourselves as trees! Macbeth will
never notice a whole forest
marching towards him!
                                                            
Back to Macbeth and his troops. A woman's scream is heard.
                                                            
                       SEYTON
Macbeth sir! Your wife just died!
                                                            
                       MACBETH
Well, we all have to go sometime.
                                                            
                       SEYTON
And look! Birnam Wood is moving!
                                                            
                       MACBETH
      (Gasps)
So it is! Looks like I have to go
and fulfill my destiny.
                                                            
A big battle ensues. Macduff and Macbeth are forced to
confront eachother.
                                                            
                       MACBETH
Guess what! I'm not going to
fight you, becuse no man born
naturally can kill me! So ha!
                                                            

7.

                       MACDUFF
Guess what! I was born through
ceasarian section, so I'm going to
kill you now! So ha!
                                                            
Macduff kills Macbeth.
                                                            
                       MACDUFF
Woo hoo! I'm the king of
Scotland!
                                                            
And everyone lived happily ever after except all the ones
that died.
                                                            


THE END


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From jeroen Date 10/3/2018 ****
Don't know the original, but have the feeling I get the essence now. Bet this was a lot funnier tho.

From Kris Shaft Date 8/14/2007 ***
Not bad.

From Alexi Date 4/6/2005 ****
I laughed.

From CJ Date 1/6/2005 ***
ha, awesome.

From Maya Date 1/5/2005 **1/2
It's funny but confusing at times especially to the few that don't know the story of Macbeth. It's hard to follow because of the minimal amount of direction. I think your main issue is pacing but then again you are creating a 5 minutes Macbeth.


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