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by Paul Calhoun (PTCalhoun@gmail.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Action/Adventure   User Review: **
Partly completed sci-fi/fantasy story. I'm just writing it as I go along, and most if that has been done after midnight, so it is a little random, but... eh, I think it is turning out ok.

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.


Dyne Ralley stands on a metal platform set into the top of a
large cliff overlooking a long, desolate red plateau. In
front of him, a large ship is being loaded with supplies.
Behind him, several buildings can be seen, as well as what
appears to be a control tower. In the sky above, a much
larger ship is rising into orbit. He is watching it.

In a flash of light, it winks out, and he looks over at the
ship being loaded in front of him. Landing and airfield
staff swarm over it like ants, looking for anything in need
of repairs, and stocking it with everything it could need.
      (Shouting to be
Make sure you load up the
munitions dump.
Dyne turns, and heads towards one of the closest buildings.
It is squat, and made of metal. Scene ends as he reaches the
door (more a hatch, really), and goes inside.
Scene starts with Dyne entering the building. It is a narrow
corridor, still made of metal. Several other portals, these
ones proper doors, line it. He begins to walk down, and one
of them opens suddenly, slamming into his side. It puts him
slightly off balance, but he catches himself easily.
Whoever that was, explain
yourself, or you're going to be in
a world of hurt
The door closes, revealing a very tall, lanky man standing
in its place, facing Dyne
Sorry, man. Didn't see... wait,
Dyne, is that you?
Dyne's sour look fades into one of slight surprise, but
overall enjoyment.


Gabe? The hell are you doing on
this dirtball?
They clasp forarms, and pat each other on the back, in
I just finished up some mercenary
work here. The feds hired me to
mop up a local guido they'd been
trying to pin for a while. Why are
you here?
Pretty close to your reason. I'm
on an official assignment from the
government. Something about a
cult, and a demon, and yadda yadda
yadda. Got some time? I'll buy you
a drink, and tell you about it.
Sounds good to me. All I'm doing
right now is killing time in this
hellhole, waiting for the next
civillian shuttle to take me off
of it.
Come with me, then. We'll
appropriate a vehicle from one of
the noble citizens of this fine
world, and go get trashed.
Ian Malsen walks along a busy street. He is clean and well
kept, if a little grungy in dress, and marks a sharp
contrast to the rabble around him. Think Blade Runner, the
scene were he is buying his noodles in the beginning, but a
little less crowded.
Deliver a package, deliver a
package, deliver a package... God,
I hate this job.
He takes out a slip of paper, and looks at it, then glances
around, apparently searching for an address. He spots a
building, and heads towards it. It advertises itself as some
kind of bar.


Deliver a package, deliver a
package, deliver a package. That
way, I can be done with this, and
go back to the rest of my boring
life. Crap!
Dyne and Gabe walk down the same street, from the other
Holmes, I think those two bums are
following us.
Yeah, I noticed them too. Not a
whole lot we can do about it,
though. Hey, here's a spot. Good
as any.
They reach the bar that Ian headed for, shortly before him,
and go inside. He follows. They make no notice of each
Zen, dressed in a waiter's uniform, stands near the counter
of the bar. He looks up as Ian, Gabe, and Dyne enter. With a
sigh, he ties an apron around his waist, heads towards them,
intending to seat them. As he passes through the crowd in
the bar, he pickpockets one of the patrons with a lazy
grace, inspecting their wallet as he walks.
Welcome to the best damn bar this
side of... something. Come with
All three of them follow him, Dyne and Gabe still bantering,
and he sets them at two different tables, in their
respective groups. The two bums enter in after he has
already seated them, and head immediately for the bar. Zen
pays them no heed, instead turning to Dyne, apparently
intent on taking his order. He takes it, and turns to get it
prepared, and take other people's orders. The bums at the
bar are just chilling.


So anyway, about that cult. It's
called corn, kernel, something
like that.
Wait, the Cult of Khorn? Yeah, I
know what that is. Bunch of
nutjobs. And coming from me,
that's saying something
Got that right. Anyway, they're
intent on raising some kind of
demon, or some crap like that. And
the higher ups in the psi-ops unit
seem to think they might actually
have something. So they sent me,
their big, bad Inquisitor, to make
sure they don't. I was only sort
of paying attention during the
briefing, but I got all the names
and dates that I need. There are
going to be three ceremonies, one
to give him flesh, one to give him
life, one to give him power. And
I'm supposed to stop them.
He stretches, apparently fairly disinterested
Also, I am to recruit whoever I
want to help me, and have been
given no funds cap.
Sweet. Any way I can get a piece
of that action?
I was just going to propose that,
actually. I definately want you on
my side if things get ugly, and
I'm pretty sure they're going to.
Probably pretty fast.
Camera focuses on Zen, who is bringing their drinks to them.
He reaches them, and sets two down on the table from the
tray he is holding, then heads towards Ian.
There is a rustle, a crash, and a lot of screaming off
camera, behind Zen. Zen sighs and places his tray on a


nearby table before turning around, apparently not entirely
unused to this kind of situation. The two bums are gone, and
in their place stand two armored figures, encased head to
toe in red painted metal, with a clear glass face plate.
They are both easily seven feet tall. The assortment of rags
and trash that was covering them lays on the counter,
discarded. It gives off a twisted image of a human bum every
few seconds, flickering.
Hmm... never seen anyone who held
up this dump use a hologram
One of the two giants grabs one of the crowd trying to
escape them in one hand, lifting the man off the ground. In
his other hand, he holds a truly large and impressive knife.
He has a large assault rifle-esque gun strapped to his back.
The other is holding his gun, also in one hand, with the
other free. His knife is on his leg.
Stay calm! If the Inquisitor steps
forward, we will not harm any of
As though intended to disprove that statement, the other
giant stabs the man he is holding, gutting him like a fish.
He continues to hold the now gushing corpse aloft, as some
kind of macabre human shield.
Dyne and Gabe immediately overturn their table as some kind
of shield. Ian does the same. Zen reaches into his apron,
and takes out a set of handguns, one a light yellow, the
other a soft blue. He points both at the giant with the gun,
and opens fire, several bullets slamming into his face
plate. They ricochet off, burying in walls and the ceiling,
leaving only faint nicks on the clear material. The giant
points its gun towards Zen, who gives a mild curse, and
bends backwards extremely far, his head nearly touching the
ground behind him. The giant fires, and a white hot bolt
just barely goes above Zen. When he stands back up (and
immediately heads for cover behind a random table), his
front is slightly pink, as though he had been sitting near a
hot fire for a while.
Aww, damn it, this table isn't
going to stop one of those.
Alright, what we need is some kind
of plan, Gabe.
Dyne looks to his side to see Gabe, wearing a huge grin.


Gabe vaults over the table, and races towards the two
giants. The one with the gun takes a shot at him, but he
dodges as he runs, veering out of the way. Before the giant
can fire again, he takes a flying leap, landing crouched on
its chestplate. He open palms it on its visor, and a hiss
sounds. When his hand withdraws, the helmet is iced over,
apparently frozen. He immediately springs from his crouch,
aiming straight for the next giant. The second one, not
expecting the erratic move, is caught by surprise, and even
moreso as Gabe draws a K-Bar from a sheath on his leg, and
stabs it into its faceplate. He pulls it sideways, and it
cuts like a hot knife through butter.
The giant with the frozen face lets off a random shot with
his gun, the bright white bolt lancing into the ceiling. A
shot sounds, and its visor caves inwards, a bullet hole in
the centre. Ian stands near his table, holding a truly large
pistol in both hands, a faint trail of smoke rising out of
the barrel.
I, uh, thought you could use a
little bit of help, and my healthy
obsession with guns put me in a
spot to give it.
Dyne sits on the edge of a righted table. He, Ian, Gabe, and
Zen are the only ones left in the bar.
So anyway, that's how it is.
He seems to have just related his story to Ian and Zen.
Despite the fact that I am clearly
a one man army, I still might need
some help for this endeavor.
That's where you guys come in. I
can promise that in exchange for
helping me, the emperor will be so
grateful that he'll make sure
you're set for life. Or, if he
doesn't, I'll foot the bill
myself. I'm not exactly strapped
for cash
Zen grinned, obviously pleased at this


      (Self mockingly)
But I'm just a humble waiter. What
on earth could I do?
The hell you are. Your aim was
pretty good with those guns, and I
saw you take that wallet. Plus,
the fact that you had weaponry at
all hints at something more than a
"humble waiter"
Well... a humble waiter, who's had
ever so slight dealings with the
mafia before. Alright, I'm in,
since you seem to want me so bad.
Dyne looked at Ian, questioningly
Hell yeah! This was the most fun
I've had in months, and you say I
get to shoot MORE people? Awesome
Good stuff. Now, here's your
official decoder ring, and secret
He tossed each one a small slip of plastic, and a sheet of
The card is a credit slip. Good
for anything you need, no limit
set on it. And don't worry about
paying me back. But don't buy porn
or something with it, please? I
have to explain any noteworthy
purchases when this is all over.
Anyway, the sheet of paper is the
address of the hanger my ship is
at. The first ceremony isn't
actually in this hive, but there
wasn't a full fledged spaceport
for the party.
He pushed himself off the table with his hands, and stood


We're leaving in four hours. Get
what you need, do whatever or
whoever you want before that, but
show up at the ship on time. Oh,
and I wouldn't try to steal the
credit slips, if I were you. I
know how to track people down, and
the homing beacon embedded in each
one certainly doesn't hurt.
Dyne is lying on his back on a long table in the middle of
the hangar. To his left is his ship, on his right, an empty
space to house another. There are several other tables
scattered around, those ones occupied by various supplies
and weapons.
There is a knock on the service door that leads to the
street, and Dyne takes out a small remote from his pocket,
and presses a switch on it. The door unlocks and opens, and
in walk Zen, Ian, and Gabe.
Right on time, men. Alright, grab
whatever supplies you need, and
get ready to meet the last of our
motley crew, as well as a bit more
There is a clang from inside the ship, and the door opens. A
short, thin, bald man wearing a trench coat that sweeps the
ground comes out.
You rang, boss?
Allow me to introduce Purple
Pearl. He'll be the heavy weapons
expert, as well as my co-pilot.
If, unlikely as it may be,
anything happens to me, he'll be
taking over command.
Hey there, how's it hangin'? Nice
to meet you all, I'm sure. You can
call me Purple or Pearl, whichever
one you prefer. I'll learn your
names when we're flying.


A woman follows him out. She is petite, but strong looking.
She has a handgun strapped to her calf.
And that would be Evey. She's
going to be the first-aid officer
on this trip, as well as the
sniper, should a situation call
for that.
Zen raised his hand
I'm qualified for that too, chief.
Got a bit of training in it.
Cool stuff. Get to know each
other, then. You'll be pairing up
on missions that need it.
Nice to meet you all. Like Pearl
said, I'll get to know you en
route. We about ready to head out,
chief? We're starting to get
behind schedule.
Dyne, still lying on the table, shifts his weight to his
back, raising his legs off the table. He surges up
powerfully, coming fully off the table, and lands with a
clang in a crouching position. He stands up.
Yeah, I'd say we're just about
there. Grab any supplies you need,
kids, and hop on board. It's party
Dyne is in the front cabin, flying the plain. Purple is with
him. Ian, Gabe, and Zen are hanging out in the passenger
section, which has room for easily twenty people. They are
all very relaxed, and seem to have gotten to know each
Pass me some of them there flight
peanuts, Ian


Ian tosses over a bag of some unidentifiable food. It does
not look like peanuts.
Evey walks in from the pilot's cabin, and sits slightly
ahead of all of them, facing backwards in her chair to see
You said your name was Evey,
right? What's it take to get some
TLC from you?
Cute. And yeah, I'm Evey. Nice to
meet you.
Zen, Ian, and Gabe spend a short time introducing
themselves, and goofing off in general. She joins the banter
for a time, until eventually going to relieve Purple of his
spot at the co-pilot seat for a little bit, so he can get to
know them too. He gets along well with them, just another
one of the guys.
View goes to Dyne and Evey in the cabin, flying the ship.
      (Over the Intercom)
We're going to be touching down in
a few minutes, gentlemen. Try to
keep it civil back there.
A few faint cries of "Are we there yet," and "I need to use
the bathroom!" can just barely be heard in the cabin. Both
Dyne and Evey ignore them.
You ready for this, Evey? I know
you pretty well, and I think
you'll be alright, but you've
never killed someone before, and
chicks usually have problems with
that. Hell, everyone does. But
chicks in particular.
Dyne is a very open sort of fellow.
I'll manage. I know I won't enjoy
it, but I think I'll get by just
fine. Take care of yourself,
chief, and let me worry about me.


No can do, sweetheart. It's my job
to meddle in your mind.
      (Over the Intercom
Alright scumbags, we're landing.
Brace for impact, and stuff.
They go through a breif security clearence, with Dyne's
rank/position more than meeting the qualifications, and land
in another reserved hangar.
As they exit the ship, Dyne stretches, and speaks
Emperor sets aside a few of these
in every city, just for us. God, I
love this job.
The group walks along. They have their weapons with them
now, not drawn, but evident. Dyne has a katana strapped to
his back, and shotgun put over that. Ian is carrying an
assault rifle, also on his back, and has several handguns
strapped to him. Evey still has only her handgun. Zen and
Purple have no evident weapons, but there is little doubt
that they are packing. Gabe has a full fledged nodachi.
How exactly did you do that thing
to the marine, Gabe? Where you
iced his face? I know the knife
was monofilament, but I've never
seen a trick like that.
Huh? Oh, that. Well, I have a
couple couple bracers on, filled
with liquid nitrogen. Whenever I
punch something a certain way,
when I draw my hand back they
shoot out a concentrated spray of
it. Pretty handy.
Hmm. I should get something like


Yeah, yeah, very cool. Anyway, now
that that's out of the way,
briefing time. The ceremony is
going to be held in the slums.
Contrary to stereotypical
expectations, not at midnight.
This is the one to give him his
body, so it's the least important
of the three, but still something
we ought to try and stop. There's
something about a virgin
sacrifice, too, so I hope you've
all already cashed in your
There is a brief squabble between some of the rabble off to
their side, and they watch silently for a moment, then
continue onwards.
Anyway, meet me at this address,
before 6PM. That's when the fun
Zen walks into a small shop. The walls are stacked with
weapons of all kinds (although every type of ammunition is
stored behind the counter). The shopkeeper is inspecting
something on display under the box. He continues for a
moment, then looks up, doing a slight double-take when he
sees Zen.
                       SHOP K
Zen! What in the devil are you
doing here? I haven't seen you
since you had a falling out with
the local mob, and that was almost
two years ago.
I'm here on business. Very
official stuff. Anyway, I'm back,
because I needed to buy some
ammunition, and I wanted to know
if you have any updates for my
                       SHOP K
Sure, sure. I have two new forms
for them that you will probably


                       SHOP K (cont'd)
enjoy. A set of machine pistols,
and a small anti-personal grenade
launcher. Ah, may I see them?
Sure thing
Zen takes out the two pistols he used against the giants,
and hands them to the shop keeper. Neither is loaded. The
shop keeper inspects them carefully, making small noises,
both of approval and disapproval, then mutter a few words
into them. They shift and flow, seeming almost to melt in
his hands, reforming into daggers. He mutters a few more
words to them, and they melt again, this time reforming into
a compact, but lethal looking rifle. He says a command, and
they revert back to pistols.
                       SHOP K
Give me a few moments, and I'll
download the other weapon
schematics into them. You said you
needed some ammo, too?
Yeah. I'm running a little bit low
on the rifle ammo, and given
recent events, I think I'm going
to need some. Might as well stock
up on the pistol ammunition, too.
And since you're loading those two
new forms in, can you hook me some
for those as well?
                       SHOP K
The machine pistols use the same
calibur as your regular pistol, so
you won't need anything extra for
that. But I'll give you a few
extra rounds of the grenade
The shop keeper plugs both of the weapons into a computer,
via very small divets on the base of the handle, below the
hammer. As the information downloads into them, he toddles
about his shop, getting the extra ammunition requested, and
loading it into a duffle bag.
Thanks. You're a life saver, man.
No one builds guns like you do.


                       SHOP K
That's quite clearly because I'm
the best. Now, I think your
pistols are done, so after you've
paid me, you can be on your way.
There is a small noise of completion from the computer, and
the shop keeper takes both pistols, and transforms them to
the two new forms. He takes a moment to tell Zen the
keywords to do so, then hands them to him, and gives him the
duffle bag. Zen gives him the credit slip, and the shop
keeper arches an eyebrow.
                       SHOP K
Oh, lord. What have you gotten
yourself involved in now, Zen?
Something all too dangerous, that
you surely wouldn't approve of.
Now, if you'll pardon me, I need
to be on my way.
The shop keeper scans the card, and, after making sure it is
legit (after all, he knows this guy), hands it back.
                       SHOP K
Well, whatever you're doing, take
care of yourself. It was nice
seeing you again, and I'd like to
do it again some time, in some
capacity past identifying your
body at the morgue.
Thanks, man. You really are a life
Zen heads for the door, and scene ends as he exits.
Dyne stands in front of a massive freight elevator. A sign
above it denotes that it leads down to the slums. The others
filter in one by one, and when they are all assembled, Dyne
presses the button to make the elevator come up, and
addresses them.


Alright, men, and women, it's go
time. When we get down there,
follow me. I'll lead you to where
we need to go.
The elevator arrives with at this point with a dull clunk.
The doors slowly begin to slide open as he continues
I doubt they know that we're
coming, but I'd be careful, just
in case.
Purple points behind him, into the open elevator.
Uh, boss? About that element of
surprise thing? You might want to
look behind you.
Dyne spins, hand going to his katana, to face... nothing. An
empty elevator.
Purple claps him on the back as he walks past, the others
following him into the elevator, all of them smiling or
Nah, I'm just screwing with you,
chief. Shall we go?
Dyne grins slightly as well, although he is not without a
trace of annoyance.
The elevator reaches the bottom, and they step off of it,
emerging into a near-desolate street. Illumination shines
from the domed ceiling of the hive, but it is far off, and
gives only a faint twilight here. As they look around, an
old newspaper is dragged across the ground by a vagrant
I can see why you said the party
starts now. This place is
downright FESTIVE, Holmes.


The group moves, going through the streets, directed by
Dyne. They soon stand outside a large building, the only one
yet seen that looks to be in a state of good repair. It is
built out of stone, and reminds vaguely of the victorian
era, gothic gurgoyles and ornate crenallations in abundance.
Well, folks, we're here. Time to
introduce ourselves.
A couple of guards, dressed in fairly standard uniforms,
mill around an ornate lobby. The doors to the outside, two
large wooden behemoths, remain closed. The guards chat idly.
One of the two doors opens just a bit, with a creak. The
guards all stop and look, some of them slowly drawing
weapons. Several small black balls roll into the room, each
one moving with a decided purpose. One to each corner, the
middle of each side, and the centre of the room. A few
randomly dispersed give it an even coverage.

The balls stop, and all the guards wait with baited breath,
sensing that something bad is happened. The one sitting at
the actual lobby table slowly moves his hand towards a
button on the surface in front of him. The button is covered
by a glass frame, and just as he is reaching to open it, the
bombs go off.

With an incredible flash of light, the camera goes white.
Cursing and gunshots are heard. When visibility is restored,
the group is standing in the middle of the room. Purple is
holding a massive gun, something that looks more like a
cannon than a rifle. Only one guard is left alive, though he
is badly wounded. Evey is tending to him.
Alright, you guys left one, just
like I said. The system works.
He goes over to the guard and, confident that the sentry's
survival is not in jeaporday, brushes Evey aside. He picks
up the guard by the collar with one hand, easily hoisting
the man up to a semi-standing position.
I got a bone to pick, and it's
with the owners of this fine
establishment. Tell me where the
ritual is taking place.


The man, obviously afraid, gives a brief description of how
to get to the ritual from their current position.
Thanks, man. I appreciate a little
obedience every now and then.
He drops the guard, letting him collapse into a sitting
If you can crawl out that door
reeeeal fast, and not come back,
you can live. But if I see you
again after this, you're toast.
The guard nods, and starts crawling.
A progression of hooded cultists slowly move towards a
raised table. They have a man in a white suit with them, and
they force him along with them. His hands are bound, and he
is gagged. He seems very conscious of his surroundings.
They reach the table, and the head cultist, denoted as such
by lots of sparkly colours and an extra fancy hat, says a
few words. Basic sacrifical gibberish. They force the man to
lie on the table, and tie his legs down. Then they cut the
bindings on his hands so that he can seperate them, and
strap him to it. For that final bit of comfort and security,
they lash his head and torso to the table as well. A chalk
outline of his body is drawn on it below him. They are
The head cultist, with much pomp and flair, gets out a
dagger. He says more sacrifice gibberish, and moves to stand
over the man. The man looks up at him fearfully, muttering
what might be curses and what might be prayers through his
gag. Just as the cultist is raising the dagger to stab him,
a huge bang sounds from the door at the far side of the
Camera pans over to Dyne, holding a very large handgun. He
is pointing it at the head cultist.
He fires, and the cultist falls back, iced. The shot, a
signal to the rest of the group to begin, prompts them to


start tearing shit up, blasting as many of the lesser cult
people as possible. Completely caught by surprise, they
offer very little resistence (although a lot of screaming),
and fall quickly. In relatively short order, the only living
people in the room are the group, and the man in the white
suit bound to the table. He squirms against his bindings,
and tries to talk through his gag.
Dyne walks up to the table, and removes his gag.
Don't tell me you're the virgin
sacrifice? Call me prejudiced, but
I was kind of expecting a girl.
If you hadn't just rescued me, I'd
be tempted to say "Screw you. I'm
waiting for marriage." As it is,
thanks. I'm too relieved to be
offended right now. However, sweet
as this turn of events is, it
would be even more cool if you
untied me, so I can get off this
damnable table.
Dyne takes out a wakazashi, the smaller version of the
katana on his back, and cuts the cords.
Well, I can't exactly kill you
while you're still on the table,
since that would complete the
sacrifice. I guess I can let you
The man sits up, and thanks Dyne again.
Don't mention it. Although, I'd
appreciate it if you told me your
name, and how you fell in with
this nasty crowd.
Right. Well, I'm DeVries. No first
or last names or anything, just
DeVries. And I was captured by
these, the hosts of all hosts,
when I screwed up on a mission. I
was assigned by my previous
employer, who I very much suspect
is dead now, to gather some
information on the cult, because


                       DEV (cont'd)
he feared they were going to
attack him. Something about
needing components for a ritual or
DeVries stretched, apparently very happy to be free of the
Even if he's not dead, it isn't
like I can really show my face
around there. Especially since I
was going to be used as the virgin
sacrifice. I'd get no end of
teasing, because of that.
DeVries hauls himself off the table, and stretches again,
then rubs at his wrists.
Think I could tag along with you
guys, at least as far as somewhere
safe? I'm no slouch with a gun,
and I have a few other useful
abilities besides.
Well, standard protocol mandates
that I keep you alive at least
until I can question you properly,
so not only can you come with us,
you will. Come on men, lets get
back to the ship.
The group turns and heads for the doors. As they are
beginning to exit, they hear a muffled sort of moving noise
behind them, and turn to see one of the cultists, mortally
wounded and gushing blood, hauling himself onto the table.
He moves, with obvious pain, into a lying position, resting
on his back. He begins to laugh, the sound wracking his
body. Abruptly, he vanishes in a puff of red.
Oh fuck, that could have been me.
The group mills about silently for a few moments, digesting
the implications of his vaporization. It seems the ritual
might have been completed after all. After a few moments,
Ian speaks, trying to inject some humor into the event.
Ha ha, that guy just admitted he
never got laid.


Dyne and the others are all sitting around the hangar. The
ship can be seen somewhere in the background, in the
shadows. A small amount of light spills through one of the
windows, dust swirling in the beam. There are no actual
lights on inside. DeVries is with them. Dyne speaks to him,
seeming highly amused.
      (Trying to talk
       through a grin)
So tell us again, how did you get
captured? I'm having difficulty
picturing this.
Alright, alright. It happened like
As DeVries begins to talk, he wanders around the hangar,
picking up small bits of stuff.
      (Disembodied Voice)
So I was sitting in my home,
enjoying a quiet dinner
DeVries is sitting in an arm chair, in a dirty wifebeater
and boxers. He is eating a TV dinner. Cicken pieces, mashed
potatoes, and peas. The room around him is a typical
bachelor house, dirty clothes and crumpled magazines
everywhere. Maybe a pizza box or two. Posters line the
walls. He is leaning forward in his chair, watching a TV,
the sole source of light in the room. He seems entranced
The fine entertainment I had
arranged was engrossing me fully,
and I think that it was because of
this that I failed to notice the
cultist's approach. To be fair,
though, they were subtle.
A slight beeping sounds, slowly growing loud enough to rival
the TV's murmur. DeVries trains an ear, his spoon (laden
with what might be mashed potatoes, or that little custard
thingy) halfway to his mouth.


      (The one watching
       the TV)
Huh? Wuzzat?
The beeping speeds up, then stops.
      (The one watching
       the TV)
Oh, shi-
With a dull wump and a flash of light, the door blows
inwards. DeVries instantly heads for his bedroom, hands
covering his ears, coughing in the dust. Camera pans to
follow him
Fortunately, I was well prepared
for such a situation
In his room, DeVries picks a revolver up off of a bedside
table, and fishes through the cabinet, withdrawing a box of
ammo. He hastily loads a few clips then, after a moment's
deliberation, heads towards one side of his room. Halfway to
the wall, a cultist in a vaguely SWAT-esque uniform appears
in the door, and DeV shoots him in the knee. The cultist
falls over, howling, and Dev shoots him twice more in the
arms, to make sure he doesn't attack, or go anywhere, then
proceeds onwards to the wall. He stops in front of a poster.
It is not a tasteful poster.
A ball (similar in design to the ones used to incapacitate
the guards in the lobby) rolls through the door, and Dev
curses slightly, then rams his head into the poster. The
incapacitated cultist makes an unintelligible noise of fear.
The poster rips, apparently concealing a space. A dull wump
sounds in the room where his body is, and his face winces.
He pulls his head out of the space, and reaches in with his
hand, feeling around for a second. He withdraws a full-sized
automatic rifle, and turns/levels it, just in time to see
the first cultist come through the door.
The bomb is sitting in the middle of the room, with the side
facing DeVries blown off. DeVries' back is coated with a
shiny metallic substance, as is the wall around where he is
standing. It seems semi-liquid, and sticky.
The first cultist comes through the door with a riot shield,
kneels, and braces it against the ground. DeVries hits him
with a spray from the assault rifle, and he wavers slightly,


but keeps the shield firm. Another couple come through
behind him and similarly brace, then a fourth wheels in a
large, dark, metal... thingy. With wires and crap.

He looks at DeVries, and takes out a pad with a button on
it. He presses the button, and the metal thing starts to
whirr. DeVries instantly stumbles slightly, apparently
having to fight to keep his footing. The whirring gets
louder, and little globs of the silvery stuff start coming
off of the walls/streaking along the ground towards the
giant magnet. DeVries' gun suddenly flies out of his hand,
and he continues to strain against the magnet for a little
bit. Abruptly, he slips, and skids along the ground on his
ass. The cultists in the way break ranks, and abruptly he is
stuck to the magnet, upside down and on his back.
Oh, f*** me... I hate rugburn...
Cultists hoist the magent up, and carry it away, with
DeVries' still stuck to it. He begins attempting to make
small talk with them.
Camera follows in a continuous pan until they reach the
outside street, where they hold the magnet over a large pet
travel cage in the back of a van. They turn the magnet off,
and he drops off, landing facefirst. They close the cage,
and put a padlock on it, then drive off.
DeVries finishes talking, still wandering around the hangar
picking stuff up and adding it to his machine thingy. He
takes a tube, and sets it into a hole in the machine. It
locks into place with an audible click, and that finishes
his monologue.
And so after the fifth cultist
jumped on me, my legs finally gave
way, and they bore me to ground
through sheer numbers. And that's
how I was captured.
The others are crowded, and he goes to stand near them.
Do you think you can find a place
for me in your band?
Dyne looks at him skeptically, eyeing the machine Dev is
cradling in his arms.


I don't know. Can you give us an
example of any useful skills you
Dev pauses for a moment, as if thinking. He strokes his
chin, pulling at a goatee present only in his mind. With a
single finger, he reaches down and presses a button on the
machine. It begins to spray a torrent of nerf balls at the
group, catching all of them by surprise.
They get hosed, and make feeble efforts to block the nerf
balls. After the torrent stops, there is a stunned silence
for a few moments. Several still have their hands in
Yeah... Uh, I think we can find a
place for you.
Dyne takes a moment more to regard DeVries, then shakes his
head slightly, and mutters to himself. DeVries smiles.
Anyway, we need to do some
information gathering. I know what
the date and location of the next
ritual WERE, but they might not
have kept it then, now that we've
made ourselves known.
                       MR. D.
You should definately keep working
on this. Hollywood will buy it.


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From Derek Hatfield Date 1/25/2009 **
I don't know if you will read this because you posted it along time ago, but lets hope you do. First thing I like the idea but it would be hard for a lot of people to read, because of your large direction blocks. You want to keep people fully interested in your movie, not get bored.Also 23 pages is very short. You may have been going for a short movie, but if not a short movie is what you've got. Another thing is you don't really introduce your characters properly to the reader. Try looking up some screenwriting rule online and touching this up.

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