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Untitled Screenplay 1
by Josh Lederman

Rated: R   Genre: Drama   User Review: **1/2
This is an unfinished screenplay that I started but never finished. I'm posting it to get feedback on to see if it is worth finishing.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY
                                                            
Inside a small conveniemce store wee see RUSS. He is leaning
on a shelf leafing through a magazine.

Behind the counter is TIM. He is ringing up someone's
purchase.

There are several CUSTOMERS in the store.

Russ looks up from the magazine and pans his eyes across the
store.

On a CLOSE UP of his waist we can see he has a gun tucked in
his pants.
                                                            
 
EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE - PARKED CAR - DAY
                                                            
We see a parked car in front of the store.

Through the store window we can see Russ.

Inside the car is TRENT. He appears to be singing. We canít
hear him.
                                                            
 
INT. PARKED CAR - DAY
                                                            
A cheesy pop song is BLASTING over the car stereo.

Trent is singing along badly. He is absorbed in the song.
                                                            
 
EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY
                                                            
A police car pulls up behind Trentís car.

Officer FRANK exits the car, and walks up to the store.
                                                            
 
INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY
                                                            
Russ begins to remove his gun from his pants.

Suddenly the store door opens, and Frank enters the store.

Russ quickly puts back his gun.
                                                            

2.

                       RUSS
      (to himself)
Shit. Fuck.
                                                            
Frank walks up to Tim at the counter.
                                                            
                       TIM
Godd morinin' Frank. How the hell
are ya?
                                                            
                       FRANK
I'm still kickin'. You?
                                                            
                       TIM
I'm doin'.
                                                            
                       FRANK
That's good. Good to hear.
                                                            
                       TIM
So how's your family doin'? How's
Lily?
                                                            
                       FRANK
She's alright. Still recoverin'
from her mother's death, but
she'll be alright.
                                                            
                       TIM
No shit. I didn't know her mom
died.
                                                            
                       FRANK
Suprised me too. I didn't think
that old bitch would ever croak.
                                                            
                       TIM
Yeah well that happens. Happens to
us all.
                                                            
                       FRANK
Yes it does. We all die sooner or
later.
                                                            
                       TIM
Well how are the kids? Haven't
seen em in here in a while.
                                                            
                       FRANK
Well Jessica was voted her class
valedictorian.
                                                            

3.

                       TIM
Alright. She always was really
smart.
                                                            
                       FRANK
Yep. I'm really proud of her. She
gets her brains from my side of
the family.
                                                            
They both laugh at this comment.
                                                            
                       TIM
What about Jake? What's he up to?
                                                            
                       FRANK
Well I don't know what to say. I
pretty worried about that boy.
                                                            
                       TIM
Why, what happened? Did he get
into trouble or somethin'?
                                                            
                       FRANK
No, no, nothin' like that.
                                                            
                       TIM
Then what is it?
                                                            
                       FRANK
Damn boy got cast in the school
play. He's playin' the lead role.
                                                            
                       TIM
No shit the lead role. What play
is it?
                                                            
                       FRANK
I ain't got no Goddamn clue.
                                                            
                       TIM
Oh. But I'm confused. Why are you
worryin' about him? What's wrong
with bein' in a school play?
                                                            

4.

                       FRANK
I'll tell ya what's wrong with it.
Damn boy shouldn't be in plays. He
should be playin' sports or doin'
somethin' that a boy should be
doin', and a boy shouldn't be
doin' no Goddamn play. And Jesus
Christ, the school's encouragin'
this shit. They're turnin' him
into half a fag.
                                                            
                       TIM
I think you're bein' a little old
fashioned Frank. Boys can act in
plays too. In fact some of those
guys on broadway make a shit load
of money doin' it. A boy actin' in
a play doesn't make him a fag. Its
just as normal as anything else.
                                                            
                       FRANK
Well I guess we just have
different opinions on the subject.
                                                            
                       TIM
I guess we do.
                                                            
                       FRANK
Hey ya mind if i use your crapper?
Must've had some bad chilli last
night. Its givin' me the shits.
                                                            
                       TIM
Sure no problem. Be my guest.
                                                            
                       FRANK
Thanks.
                                                            
Frank walks over to a magazine rack and takes a magazine.
                                                            
                       FRANK
A little reading material.
                                                            
                       TIM
Hey man, whatever gets you goin'.
I ain't gonna judge.
                                                            
Frank takes the magazine and walks away into the bathroom.

Russ watches him leave, and instatly WHIPS OUT his gun and
puts it to Tim's skull.

The other costomers see this and become very frightened.
                                                            

5.

                       RUSS
      (to everyone)
Everyone just be cool. Don't say a
fuckin' word. Just stay calm and
you won't get hurt. And don't
anybody try and get that fuckin'
pig out here, cause then I'll have
to kill every single one of you.
                                                            
                       TIM
      (terrified)
Wh... what do you want?
                                                            
                       RUSS
      (to Tim)
I want a back massage. What the
fuck do you think I want? Empty
the register motherfucker.
                                                            
                       TIM
Okay, okay. Just don't shoot.
                                                            
                       RUSS
I won't if you don't give me a
reason to.
                                                            
Tim opens the register and hands Russ a pile of bills.

Russ takes them and puts them in his pocket.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Now give me the money in the safe.
                                                            
                       TIM
I don't have a safe.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Don't give me that bullshit. Do
you want to die? Do ya?
                                                            
                       TIM
No. No.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Then empty the fuckin' safe before
I execute your sorry ass.
                                                            
Tim bends down and opens the safe under the counter.

Russ closely watches him, keeping his gun pointed at him.

Just as Tim comes up with the money, the store door opens,
and Officer DAN enters.
                                                            

6.

                       DAN
Hey Frank, do you know...
      (Pause)
What the fuck?
                                                            
                       RUSS
Oh shit.
                                                            
Dan WHIPS OUT his gun and aims it at Russ.
                                                            
                       DAN
      (to Russ)
Freeze motherfucker!
                                                            
                       RUSS
Fuck.
                                                            
                       TIM
      (to Dan)
Help me!
                                                            
Russ DIVES to the ground as Dan FIRES at him.

The bullets miss.

From the ground Russ FIRES at Dan.

He is HIT in the shoulder.

Dan DROPS his gun and SCREAMS IN PAIN.
                                                            
                       TIM
      (to Frank in the
       bathroom)
Hepl! Frank help! He's got a gun!
                                                            
Russ SPRINGS UP and SPINS toward Tim.

He SHOOTS him twice.

Tim DROPS to the floor SCREAMING.
                                                            
                       RUSS
      (to Tim)
I told you not to fuckin' do that.
                                                            
The customer have all TAKEN COVER.

Russ SCOOPS UP the money on the counter.

He runs past Dan, PUSHING him to the ground, and exits the
store.

7.


After he leaves, Frank BURSTS out of the bathroom door,
pants at his ankles, and gun ready.
                                                            
                       FRANK
      (seeing the
       carnage)
What the fuck happened?
                                                            
 
INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY
                                                            
Russ runs across the street to the car with Trent in it.

He opens the door and gets in.
                                                            
 
INT. PARKED CAR - DAY
                                                            
Startled, Trent turns off the radio.
                                                            
                       TRENT
What happened?
                                                            
                       RUSS
What happened? You were supposed
to watch for cops. What happened
there?
                                                            
Trent turns around and sees the police car parked behind
him.
                                                            
                       TRENT
Oh shit.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Yeah, oh shit.
                                                            
 
EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE - DAY
                                                            
Frank comes BURSTING out of the store.

He starts SHOOTING at the car.
                                                            
 
INT. PARKED CAR - DAY
                                                            
                       RUSS
Oh shit. Drive!
                                                            
CLOSE UP: Trent's foot PUNCHING the gas.
                                                            
 

8.

EXT. STREET - DAY
                                                            
The car TAKES OFF, FLYING down the street.

Frank continues SHOOTING until he runs out of ammo.
                                                            
 
INT. SPEEDING CAR - DAY
                                                            
                       RUSS
Jesus Christ man. All you had to
do was watch for fuckin' cops.
                                                            
                       TRENT
I'm sorry man. Shit, I'm sorry.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Son-of-a-bitch.
                                                            
 
EXT. STREET - DAY
                                                            
The car SPEEDS down the road.

As it approaches a stop sign, the car SLOWS DOWN.

It STOPS at the sign.

The right turn signal BLINKS ON.

The car turns, and SPEEDS OFF SCREEN.

The FRAME is left BLANK.
                                                            
BLACK SCREEN
                                                            
                       VOICE
How bad is it?
                                                            
                       VOICE ON PHONE
Its pretty fuckin' bad.
                                                            
 
INT. BUDD HOLIDAY'S OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Sitting at his desk in his office is crime boss BUDD
HOLIDAY.

The CAMERA is positioned behind him.

He is on the phone talking to his right-hand-man SLICK LOU.
                                                            

9.

                       BUDD
Well how bad? How fuckin' bad?
                                                            
                       LOU
      (on Phone)
Very bad. It was a massacre.
They're all dead.
                                                            
                       BUDD
Fuck! God dammit!
      (Pause)
And the money?
                                                            
                       LOU
      (on Phone)
Gone. He took it all.
                                                            
                       BUDD
Motherfucker! That piece of shit!
                                                            
                       LOU
      (On Phone)
Boss there's somethin' else.
                                                            
                       BUDD
What is it? What?
                                                            
                       LOU
      (on Phone)
Its Sarah. She's gone. He must've
taken her with him.
                                                            
                       BUDD
That litttle prick. Listen to me
Lou. I want that son-of-a-bitch
found. I want him found and I want
him found now. Not tomorrow now.
                                                            
                       LOU
      (on Phone)
Got it boss. We'll get him.
                                                            
                       BUDD
I want you to slit his fuckin'
throat. I want that cocksucker to
be tortured. I want him to live
out the last moments of his life
in agonizing pain. I don't care
what it takes. I want that fucker
dead.
                                                            

10.

                       LOU
      (on Phone)
Don't worry. We'll take care of
it. He's gonna wish his mom never
got fucked and pushed him out into
this world.
                                                            
                       BUDD
And Lou?
                                                            
                       LOU
      (on Phone)
Yeah?
                                                            
                       BUDD
Get my fuckin' money.
                                                            
Budd SLAMS down the phone.

He sits in SILENCE for a few moments.
                                                            
                       BUDD
      (to himself)
Gonna get that motherfucker.
                                                            
The CAMERA holds for a few more moments.
                                                            
 
EXT. MOTEL - DAY
                                                            
Russ and Trent's car drives up to a small motel.

The car parks, and they get out of the car.

Russ is carrying a large DUFFEL BAG.

There is a young girl with them. Her name is SARAH.
                                                            
                       TRENT
I wonder if they have cable.
                                                            
                       RUSS
I doubt it.
                                                            
                       TRENT
Maybe we should try someplace
else. One that has cable.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Forget about the damn cable. We're
stayin' here.
                                                            

11.

                       TRENT
Fine. I was just bringin' the
option to the table.
                                                            
The three of them start to walk over to the motel lobby.
                                                            
                       TRENT
      (to Sarah)
Would you like to have cable?
                                                            
                       SARAH
I really don't care.
                                                            
 
INT. MOTEL - FRONT DESK - DAY
                                                            
Russ is standing at the front desk talking to the MOTEL
CLERK.

Trent and Sarah stand by the door.
                                                            
                       RUSS
We'd like a room please.
                                                            
                       MOTEL CLERK
How long will ya be stayin'?
                                                            
                       RUSS
Probably just tonight. Maybe
tomorrow too.
                                                            
                       MOTEL CLERK
Ya sure didn't pack much.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Excuse me?
                                                            
                       MOTEL CLERK
Well there's three of ya, and all
ya have is that one bag.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Oh. Yeah well we pack light. Only
the bare necessities.
                                                            
 

12.

INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY
                                                            
They walk into their motel room.

Russ puts the duffel bag on one of the beds and sits down.

Sarah sits next to him, while Trent sits on the other bed
and turns on the T.V.
                                                            
                       TRENT
Shit. No cable.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (to Russ)
Are you okay?
                                                            
                       RUSS
I don't know. This whole thing is
so fucked up. I just can't believe
Mackie would do somethin' this
stupid.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Well he did as stupid as it was.
                                                            
                       RUSS
I always told him that one day
he'd fuck with the wrong person.
And now he finally has.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Yeah he really did pick the wrong
person to screw over. Budd's not
very civilized when it comes to
his business, if you can call it
business.
                                                            
                       RUSS
I'm really sorry he had to drag
you into this. That pisses me off
the most.
                                                            
                       SARAH
I was in this already. Its my own
fault.
                                                            
                       RUSS
No its not. Just because your
father's a dick doesn't make it
your fault.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Step father.
                                                            

13.

                       RUSS
Right. Sorry.
                                                            
Just then a CELL PHONE starts RINGING.

Sarah takes it out of her pocket.
                                                            
                       TRENT
Oh shit. It must be Mackie.
                                                            
Sarah hands the phone to Russ.

He answers it.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Hello?
                                                            
 
EXT. PHONE BOOTH - DAY
                                                            
In a phone booth is MACKIE.

He's very jittery but seems happy.
                                                            
                       MACKIE
Hello to you too baby.
                                                            
INTERCUT BETWEEN RUSS AND MACKIE.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Fuck Mackie. What happened?
                                                            
                       MACKIE
How are you guys doin'? You
alright?
                                                            
                       RUSS
We're fine. How'd it go?
                                                            
                       MACKIE
What about Sarah? Is she okay?
                                                            
                       RUSS
She's right here. She's fine.
Christ Mackie what the fuck
happened?
                                                            
                       MACKIE
Its all good my friend.
                                                            
                       RUSS
It is? You serious?
                                                            

14.

                       MACKIE
Yep. Its all taken care of man.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Holy shit. Mutherfuckin' Zeke
pulled through.
                                                            
                       MACKIE
I told you he would. The Freak
never lets a friend down.
                                                            
                       RUSS
So what's the plan?
                                                            
                       MACKIE
Well for right now we've just
gotta chill. But tomorrow
afternoon we've got four plane
tickets to Jamaica my friend.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Jamaica? Just like we planned?
                                                            
                       MACKIE
Yeserie Bob. We'll be on the beach
gettin' hammered and enjoyin' the
rest of our lives.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Holy shit this is fuckin' great.
So you gonna come over to the
motel now right?
                                                            
                       MACKIE
No not yet. I wanna run over to my
place real quick and pick up some
stuff.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Are you sure that's a good idea? I
don't think its safe man. I mean
they wanna fuckin' kill us.
                                                            
                       MACKIE
Don't worry. I'll be fine. You
guys and girl just chill. I'll be
over by tonight.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Alright man. Just be careful.
                                                            
                       MACKIE
Don't worry I will.
                                                            

15.

                       RUSS
Alright. Peace man. See ya soon.
                                                            
                       MACKIE
Cool runnings brother.
                                                            
Mackie hangs up the phone and leaves the phone booth.
                                                            
 
INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Russ closes the cell phone and breathes a sigh of relief.
                                                            
                       TRENT
What did he say? Is everything
gonna be okay?
                                                            
                       RUSS
Well he went to see Zeke.
                                                            
                       TRENT
Yeah. What did he say?
                                                            
                       RUSS
He told him about everything.
                                                            
                       TRENT
Goddamn you. Tell us already.
                                                            
                       RUSS
He got us four plane tickets for
tomorrow afternoon. He came
through.
                                                            
                       TRENT
Hallelujah. I love that freak.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Yes. Where are we goin'?
                                                            
                       RUSS
Jamaica. Just like you wanted.
                                                            
                       TRENT
Oh my fuckin' God. We're gonna
make. We did it.
                                                            
                       RUSS
We get to live out the rest of our
lives in paradise.
                                                            
                       TRENT
Tomorrow can't come soon enough.
                                                            

16.

                       SARAH
Since we have time right now, I'm
pretty hungry. Could we get
somethin' to eat?
                                                            
                       TRENT
Yeah I'm starved myself. I saw a
diner down the road when we drove
up.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Alright then. Let's go eat. Let's
celebrate.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Is it safe?
                                                            
                       RUSS
It should be. Its just down the
road. I think we'll be okay.
                                                            
                       TRENT
      (pointing to the
       bag)
What about the... you know?
                                                            
                       RUSS
We'll take it with us. Keep it in
the trunk.
                                                            
Trent and Sarah open the door and walk out.

Russ picks up the bag and follows them out.

He shuts the door behind him.
                                                            
 
INT. RUSS AND TRENT'S APARTMENT - DAY
                                                            
In the middle of the FRAME is the front door.

Suddenly, the door BURSTS open.

Through the doorway enter JIMMY and BIG SETH, two of Budd
Holiday's goons.

Their guns are ready to fire.
                                                            
                       BIG SETH
I don't think the cocksuckers are
here. They must've skipped out.
                                                            

17.

                       JIMMY
Well look anyway. They might be
hidin'.
                                                            
They search the apartment, but come up empty handed.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Shit. They left. They're on the
run.
                                                            
                       BIG SETH
What'd ya expect? The fuckers
would have to be brain dead to
hang around.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Go into the fridge and see if they
got somethin' to drink. I could
use one.
                                                            
Big Seth goes into the fridge and takes out two bottles of
beer.

He hands one to Jimmy.
                                                            
                       BIG SETH
Ya know man, I wish that they were
here. I'd like to be the one to
fuck em up. Ya know?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Yeah. I'd like to give the
bastards a few good hits myself.
                                                            
                       BIG SETH
Remember a few years back when
that one guy, I think he was
Mexican or some shit like that,
stole that brick of coke?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Yeah. I remember that
son-of-a-bitch. They did a pretty
fuckin' good number on him.
                                                            
                       BIG SETH
Cut off both his thumbs, and then
burned him alive. It was fuckin'
amazing.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
That just goes to show that you
don't fuck with Mr. Holiday. You
            (MORE)

18.

                       JIMMY (cont'd)
fuck with him, you gonna get
fucked up.
                                                            
Just then Jimmy's CELL PHONE starts RINGING.

He answers it.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
This is Jimmy.
                                                            
                       LOU
      (on Phone)
Are they there?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
No sir Lou. Place is empty. They
must've high-tailed it outta here
pretty fuckin' fast.
                                                            
                       LOU
      (on Phone)
Well we have a lead someplace
else. Our boy's car was spotted
outside of a club. Owned by some
guy named Zeke the Freak.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Yeah I know that place.
                                                            
                       LOU
      (on Phone)
meet us down there. We're gonna
get some fuckin' answers.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Got it. we'll be right over.
                                                            
Jimmy closes his phone and they walk towards the door.
                                                            
                       BIG SETH
Where are we goin'?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Clubbin'.
                                                            
 
INT. DINER - DAY
                                                            
Through a window we can see Russ and Trent's car parked in
the diner parking lot.
                                                            

19.

                       TRENT (O.S.)
So we just have to hang around
until tomorrow and then we can get
the fuck outta here?
                                                            
                       RUSS (O.S.)
Yep that's it.
                                                            
                       SARAH (O.S.)
So the tickets are gonna be
waiting at the airport for us to
pick up just like he said?
                                                            
                       RUSS (O.S.)
Yep. They're all paid for. We just
go pick em up and take off.
                                                            
The camera PULLS BACK revealing Russ, Trent, and Sarah
sitting at a booth in the diner.

Russ and Sarah are sitting next to each other and Trent is
across from them.

They are in the middle of their meal.
                                                            
                       SARAH
God Jamaica. I've always wanted to
go there. Ever since I was a
little girl.
                                                            
                       TRENT
Really? Why?
                                                            
                       SARAH
Well my great-grandmother lived
there for a long time. She would
always tell me stories about how
wonderful it was. Since then I've
just always wanted to go there.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Well now you're finally going to
go there.
                                                            
                       SARAH
I know. I'm so excited.
                                                            
                       TRENT
When I was young, I always wanted
to go to a topless bar.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Well that's nice, I guess.
                                                            

20.

                       RUSS
I just wish it didn't have to be
under these circumstances. I mean
are you sure you want to go with
us? We can still just let you go.
                                                            
                       SARAH
No I'm sure. I want to go with
you. I'm not goin' back to that
life. I'm leavin' it behind. I'm
through.
                                                            
                       TRENT
How was it? I mean bein' Budd
Holiday's daughter?
                                                            
                       SARAH
Step-daughter.
                                                            
                       TRENT
Right. Step-daughter.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Well things were never good. He
never treated my mom good at all.
I think the only reason she
married him was for his money. I
mean, she didn't know what he did
at the time. But we were doin' so
bad financially, that even when
she found out, she didn't leave
him. She couldn't.
                                                            
                       TRENT
Yeah. That's fucked up though.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Well that's what she chose. So
when she died a few years later, I
was left with Budd. he never
treated me like a daughter though.
I didn't want him to. He's a
piece-of-shit. A horrible human
being.
                                                            
                       RUSS
I think we all knew that. There's
no hidin' it.
                                                            
                       SARAH
But there was nothin' I could do.
I had no other options, So I just
dealt with it.
                                                            

21.

                       RUSS
Did you ever tell anyone who your
father, excuse me, step-father
was?
                                                            
                       SARAH
No, of course not. But people
knew. They always know.
                                                            
                       TRENT
I can see that you were stuck
bein' his step-daughter, but him
makin' you do work for him? That's
just way fucked up.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Yeah well, all he ever thinks
about is his business. I couldn't
defy him, cause then I'd be dead
on the streets. So I just do it.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Well all of that's over now. You
don't have to do that shit
anymore. You're free.
                                                            
                       TRENT
Yeah. In a way Mackie doin' that
dumb shit kinda saved you.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Yeah. I never thought of that.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Well now its just us. All we have
to do it make it till tomorrow and
we're home free.
                                                            
A WAITRESS walks over to their booth, and stands there.
                                                            
                       WAITRESS
You guys gonna want anything else?
                                                            
                       RUSS
No thanks. We're good.
                                                            
                       WAITRESS
Okay then. Here's your check. You
can pay at the register.
                                                            
She places the check on the table.
                                                            

22.

                       WAITRESS
Have a good day.
                                                            
                       RUSS
You too.
                                                            
The waitress walks away.
                                                            
                       SARAH
So what about you guys? What's
your story?
                                                            
                       TRENT
Well there's really not much to
say.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Aw come on. There has to be
somethin'. Do you have
girlfriends?
                                                            
                       TRENT
Naw. I think females find me
repulsive.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Yeah. Even your mother found you
repulsive.
                                                            
                       TRENT
Shut up.
                                                            
                       SARAH
What about you Russ?
                                                            
                       RUSS
I had a girlfriend once, a while
back. She was an older woman.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Really? What happened?
                                                            
                       RUSS
Her husband found out.
                                                            
They all laugh.

Russ and Trent bump fists.
                                                            
                       SARAH
So what about your uh, line of
work? There has to be a story
behind you you got into it.
                                                            

23.

                       RUSS
Not really. We're just two dime
store hoods. Nothin' exciting.
Just two guys who have nothin'
else.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Well how did you get into your
life of crime?
                                                            
                       TRENT
I wouldn't call it a life of
crime.
                                                            
                       RUSS
We're just two high school
drop-outs who never amounted to
anythin'. This was just a quick
way to make cash so we just went
with it. Flash forward a few years
and here we are.
                                                            
                       SARAH
You just became criminals? That's
it?
                                                            
                       TRENT
I wouldn't go so far as to call us
criminals. We're not bad guys. I
mean we don't kill people.
                                                            
                       RUSS
We were old friends. Then we
didn't see him for a while. He was
like us, but then he started
gettin' involved with real
unsavory types, like drug dealers
and shit like that.
                                                            
                       SARAH
So that's how he got involved with
Budd.
                                                            
                       TRENT
Exactly.
                                                            
                       SARAH
And that's how you got involved in
this mess.
                                                            
                       RUSS
You hit the nail right on the
head.
                                                            

24.

                       SARAH
Boy that really sucks.
                                                            
                       TRENT
Yeah but that's life. Tryin' to
plan it out perfectly will only
make you crazy. You just gotta go
with the flow.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Is everyone finished?
                                                            
                       SARAH
I'm done.
                                                            
                       TRENT
Ditto.
                                                            
                       RUSS
Alrighty then. I'll go pay the
bill and you leave a tip. then
we'll head back to the room and
wait for Mackie.
                                                            
                       TRENT
Okie dokie smokey.
                                                            
They get up from the table.

Russ walks OFF SCREEN to pay the bill.

Trent puts some money on the table, then he follows Sarah
OFF SCREEN.
                                                            
 
EXT. ZEKE THE FREAK'S CLUB - DAY
                                                            
A car is parked in front of the club.

Next to the car stand Slick Lou and VINCENT.

Another car drives up and parks behind the other car.

Jimmy and Big Seth come out of the car.
                                                            
                       LOU
Its about fuckin' time you got
here.
                                                            
                       BIG SETH
Sorry sir. We hit traffic.
                                                            

25.

                       LOU
Save it for when you're fuckin'
your mothers tonight. We've got
work to do.
                                                            
 
INT. CAR (TRUNK) - DAY
                                                            
The trunk of the car POPS OPEN.

The four men reach inside the trunk.

Jimmy and Big Seth each take a shotgun.

Slick Lou and Vincent each take a handgun.

                                                            
                       LOU
We're gonna go in there and find
out what this son-of-a-bitch
knows.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Got it.
                                                            
                       LOU
No fuckin' around here. This is
serious business. We ain't gonna
take any shit from this
cocksucker.
                                                            
                       VINCENT
Check.
                                                            
                       LOU
Let's do this like fuckin'
professionals. Oh and boys?
      (Pause)
Let's have some fun.
                                                            
Big Seth cocks his shotgun.

Slick Lou SLAMS the trunk CLOSED.
                                                            
 
EXT. ZEKE THE FREAK'S CLUB - DAY
                                                            
We TRACK along with the four men as they cross the street to
the club.

They open the door and go inside.
                                                            
 

26.

INT. ZEKE THE FREAK'S CLUB - DAY
                                                            
There is TECHNO music BLASTING throughout the club.

There are FLASHING LIGHTS everywhere.

People are DANCING and having a good time.

We TRACK along as the four gangsters work their way to the
back of the club.

No one seems to notice them or their guns.

When they reach the back of the club they go through a
doorway.
                                                            
 
INT. ZEKE'S PRIVATE OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
The four men enter Zeke's private office.

Sitting on a couch is the man himself, ZEKE THE FREAK.

                                                            
                       ZEKE
Well hello there dudes. Come on
in. Make yourselves at home.
                                                            
Jimmy and Big Seth go and stand behind the couch.

Vincent hangs back while Slick Lou approaches Zeke.
                                                            
                       LOU
You must be Zeke the Freak.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Hey man, just call me Zeke. But
yes, that is who I am. In the
flesh. And might I ask who you
are?
                                                            
                       LOU
Well Zeke, to most in my business
I'm known as Slick Lou. But to
you, its just Lou.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Okay then Lou. Please, pull up a
seat. Its okay, I don't bite.
                                                            

27.

                       LOU
Well maybe I do.
                                                            
Zeke and Lou laugh a little.
                                                            
                       LOU
This is quite an establishment
you've got yourself here. It has
atmosphere.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Yeah. I'm very proud of thus place
man. I like to call it home.
                                                            
                       LOU
Your patrons also seem to greatly
enjoy your little establishment.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Yeah they do. Everyon eloves to
party. What about you dude? I'm
sure you like to party.
                                                            
                       LOU
Actually this isn't really my
scene. I'm not a club kind of guy.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Aw. That's too bad man. So hows
about you introduce me to your
friends here man?
                                                            
                       LOU
How rude of me. The two gentlemen
behind you are Jimmy and Big Seth.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
      (to Jimmy and Big
       Seth)
Sup dudes.
                                                            
                       LOU
And this here is Vincent.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
What's up Vincent? How's it
hangin' man?
                                                            
                       VINCENT
Its uh, alright.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Cool man. That's awesome.
                                                            

28.

                       LOU
Well Zeke, now that we've gotten
the introductions out of the way,
I think its time we get down to
the brass taxes of the situation
at hand.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Okay dude. What is the situation
at hand?
                                                            
                       LOU
You mean you don't know why we're
here?
                                                            
                       ZEKE
I gotta be honest with you man. I
have no fuckin' clue why you're
here.
                                                            
                       LOU
Well that's not good. I don't
wanna leave you in the dark. Allow
me to fill you in and get you up
to speed.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Go ahead dude. Fill me in.
                                                            
                       LOU
Well, we represent a very wealthy
an dpowerful man for whom I'm sure
you've heard of. His name is Budd
Holiday. You've heard of Budd
Holiday haven't you?
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Have I heard of Budd Holiday? I
don't live under a fuckin' rock
man. Everyone has heard of him.
Shit.
                                                            
                       LOU
Well that's good. Now that that's
out of the way, we can move on.
      (Pause)
Do you mind if I have that seat
now?
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Go right ahead man. Sit.
                                                            

29.

Slick Lou takes a chair and places it in front of Zeke.

He sits in the chair.
                                                            
                       LOU
Now where were we?
                                                            
                       ZEKE
You were tellin' me why you're
here. Somethin' to do with Budd
Holiday.
                                                            
                       LOU
Ah yes. Now, like most wealthy and
powerful men, Mr. Holiday doesn't
like to be fucked with. He doesn't
like it when people fuck him over.
And he especially doesn't like it
when people steal from him.
Especially his money.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Hey man, I ain't never stolen shit
from anyone. This is fucked up
man.
                                                            
                       LOU
No, no. Please don't get the wrong
idea. I know you didn't steal from
Mr. Holiday. But the fact of the
matter is somebody did. Somebody
stole a large sum of money from
him.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
How much money?
                                                            
                       LOU
Five hundred thousand dollars.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Holy shit.
                                                            
                       LOU
Yes indeed. And as one would
expect, Mr. Holiday is very...
pissed off by this. He is goin' to
do whatever it takes to get his
money back and catch the little
cocksucker who stole it.
                                                            

30.

                       ZEKE
Okay I undertand all of this man,
but that doesn't explain why
you're here. What does this shit
have to do with the Freak?
                                                            
                       LOU
Well, this is where the story gets
ugly for you. You see, we know who
stole the money. That's a big
plus. We have been tryin' to find
since he took it. And we were
given a tip that in fact, he was
here.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
A lot of people come here man.
That don't mean jack shit.
                                                            
                       LOU
Now come on Zeke. You in fact know
the person in question. Does the
name Mackie mean anythin' to you?
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Yes it does. I believe I know who
you're talkin' about.
                                                            
                       LOU
Well, Mackie is the son-of-a-bitch
who stole Mr. Holiday's money. It
was a massacre, a fuckin' blood
bath. But it gets worse. He not
only ran off with five hundred
grand in cash, but he also
kidnapped Mr. Holiday's
step-daughter. Then we know he
hooked up with two of his dumbass
frinds, and are plannin' on
gettin' away with the money.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
No fuckin' shit?
                                                            
                       LOU
I shit you not. Now, we were given
a tip that Mackie himself was seen
here, at your club, not too long
ago.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Well yes he was. I know him. I
guess you could say we're good
            (MORE)

31.

                       ZEKE (cont'd)
friends. he comes here a lot to
visit the Freak.
                                                            
                       LOU
Good, good. I'm glad to see that
we're on the same page here. Now
Zeke, we need for you to tell us
everything that he told you when
he was here. Don't leave anythin'
out.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Well man, I'm sorry but when he
was here, he didn't mention any of
this shit. The Freak didn't know
about any of it until you just
told me. Sorry though.
                                                            
                       LOU
Oh boy. Don't you lie to me Zeke.
Don't lie to me.
                                                            
                       BIG SETH
You want us to fuck him up boss?
                                                            
                       LOU
No no. There's no need for that
yet. Let's be civilized here.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Listen dude, I'm really sorry
about what happened. But I don't
know shit. I don't know fuckin'
shit man.
                                                            
                       LOU
Lies, lies, lies. Now you listen
to me. I know that Mackie stole
the money. I know that he was
here. I know that he talked to
you. I know that you helped him. I
know all of this. This is all
fact. But what I need is for you
to tell me what he told you, and
how you're helpin' him. That's
all. We can do this the easy way
or we can do this the hard way.
And trust me Zeke, for your sake,
I suggest that you choose the easy
way.
                                                            
They sit in silence for a few moments.
                                                            

32.

                       LOU
Well Zeke? What's it gonna be?
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Well dude, let me tell you. I say
you can take all of the shit you
know, and you can take your goons
here, and you can go fuck yourself
silly. Fuck you asshole. Fuck you.
                                                            
Slick Lou shakes his head and sighs.

Then he looks at Jimmy and Big Seth and gives them a nod.

Jimmy DROPS his shotgun and GRABS Zeke, holding him down.

Big Seth cocks his shotgun and aims it right at Zeke's head.

Lou pulls his chair closer to Zeke.
                                                            
                       LOU
Fine Zeke. We'll do this your way.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
What the fuck man?
                                                            
Vincent walks up and hands Lou a POCKET KNIFE.

Lou opens the knife and holds it in front of Zeke's face, in
a threatening way.
                                                            
                       LOU
Now Zeke, I'm no monster. I'm just
doin' my job. Mr. Holiday is goin'
to do whatever it takes to get his
money back. You have information
about his money. Now I have to do
whatever it takes to get that
information. So you see I'm not a
monster Zeke. I'm just doin' what
I have to do.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
What are you gonna do with that
thing man?
                                                            
                       LOU
Let me tell you what I'm gonna do.
Seein' as you're not gonna tell me
what I need to know, I'm gonna
have to force it out of you. So
I'm gonna take this knife and cut
your dick off. Then, I'm gonna
            (MORE)

33.

                       LOU (cont'd)
super glue it to your forehead.
Then, maybe after you become an
actual dick head, you'll tell me
what I need to know.
                                                            
Lou brings the knife to Zeke's crotch.

He prepares to perform the sinister deed.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Okay, okay. Fuck man I'll tell.
Christ. I'll tell you.
                                                            
Lou stops, and sits back in his chair.
                                                            
                       LOU
I'm glad you see things my way
now. Please, tell me what the fuck
is goin' on.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Okay. Mackie came to me and told
about the money and shit. He said
that he needed help. So I got him,
his two friends, and the girl
plane tickets to Jamaca. They
leave tomorrow. Until then,
they're stayin' at some motel
downtown, I don't know what one.
Then he said he was gonna go back
to his place to get some shit, and
meet the others at the motel.
                                                            
                       LOU
Is that everything?
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Yes that's all I know. i swear to
fuckin' God. That's everything.
                                                            
                       LOU
Alright. Boys, let em go.
                                                            
Jimmy lets go of Zeke and Big Seth stops pointing his
shotgun at him.

Lou gets up from the chair.
                                                            
                       LOU
I thank you very much Zeke. Now we
have all of the information we
need to properly handle the
situation. We can get Mr.
            (MORE)

34.

                       LOU (cont'd)
Holiday's money back now, and
that's very good. I truly am
thankful for that. But
unfortunately for you, you are no
longer needed.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Hey man wait. What?
                                                            
                       LOU
Zeke you've told us all we need to
know. And seein' that you know
everything about everything, we
can't let you go.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
Hey man, but you said...
                                                            
                       LOU
Oh Zeke. If only you would've had
more time to really get to know
me, you would've come to see that
I say a lot of things.
                                                            
                       ZEKE
No. Wait. No...
                                                            
Slick Lou WHIPS OUT his gun, and FIRES into Zeke three
times.

Zeke sits slumped over on the couch, dead.
                                                            
                       LOU
Okay boys, its go time. Jimmy,
Seth, you two and I will go to
that fuckers place and surprise
him when he gets there. Vincent,
you find out what motel they're
stayin' in, and get Sarah, get the
fuckin' money, and kill those two
bastards. Let's go. Chop, chop.
                                                            
The three men leave the office to go take care of business.

Lou takes one last look at Zeke's dead body.

He shakes his head, spits, and then leaves the room.
                                                            


THE END


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From Jeroen Doornbos Date 1/12/2005 **1/2
It is pretty decent, but I don't like the part in the diner. Dialogue is not interesting during that part. It feels 'forced', like it is there to explain background of the characters. Try showing their characters through pictures. Action is character. But the rest of the dialogue is ok to read, with some pretty funny lines.

From Crazy J Date 1/5/2005 **1/2
I give it a two point five cause its only half done but considering what I rate completly finished scripts, this is excellent. Overall, from the intro to the point where you end, it seems very interesting and i would most definatly like to know how it ends. Not much else to really say, only that i strongly urge you to finish it. best of luck!


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