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by Christine (Candykane_dices@yahoo.com)
Rated: 
Genre: Comedy
User Review:  
Spec Script of Will & Grace TV series. 'The Haunting of Whitney'
This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
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FADE IN:
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INT. WILL & GRACE APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY |
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Jack,
JACK wheezles into the appartment, with a tape in his
hand... and pops the tape into Wills tape player. Jack
stands in position with his head bowed to the floor, legs
spread out and arms stretched out to his side.
Jack is wearing a workout suit.
'I'm Everyone Woman' song by Whitney Houston blast through
the apartment. Jack does these awkward dance/arobic moves
and get's really into what he's doing.
WILL comes running out of his bedroom half asleep, with
green face mask on... and GRACE trips out of Her room half
asleep, with a eye mask on.
SHE FEELS AROUND
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Will struggles to open his eyes and when he does the stereo
gets turned off. |
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GRACE
Everything is black... oh my Gosh
I'm blind. I didn't think walking
in on Will while he was peeing it
would blind Me. NO!!!
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Grace literally cries out loud.
Will nonchantly walks over to Grace and pulls off her face
mask. |
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GRACE (CONT'D)
I can see! |
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Grace blinks intensively. |
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WILL
Only if You had a brain... you
would be deadly. |
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2.
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Will gently rubs his forehead and notice and unusual
feeling...
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WILL
My face it's pealing! I knew I've
shouldn't had talked about that
Boy with the achney face and
uneven leg! Bad Karma is a bitch! |
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Grace licks her index finger and runs it down Will's face...
green face mask covered up the tip of her finger. Will
observed the green gunk on her finger and surprisingly but
dumb ass was written all over Jack's face |
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GRACE
It's face mask... and You were
saying? |
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Will ignores her comment. |
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JACK
Yes, My humble gay mutant. |
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Jack licks his figure and runs it down Will's face. Jack
licks the green gooey mask off his finger. |
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JACK (CONT'D)
Taste like...
(He does it again.)
Icing. |
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GRACE
Really? Let Me taste. |
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Grace licks her finger and does the same... eats it. |
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GRACE (CONT'D)
Mmm. All You need is some plain
doughnuts and I got breakfast.
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Jack and Grace dig their hands in Will's face again... Will
slaps their hands away out of aggervation. |
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3.
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WILL
Will You two stop it! It is five
a.m.in the morning. Why are You
here Jack?
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JACK
Don't get Your panties in a bunch,
geeze. I am doing my morning
arobics.
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WILL
(jumpy)
Hey I got an Idea. |
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WILL
Why don't You do it at Your own
place.
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He's frustrated and sleepy... and frustrated with his hands
on his hip. |
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JACK
I do silly... on the bed, the
couch, the floor, oh and the
hardest place I would have to say
is on the ceiling but I manage
that.
(nibbles on finger)
The kitchen counter, let's see um-
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WILL
Not that You oxymoron! I swear You
and Grace are two pea's in a pie.
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She ran her wet finger down his face again and licks it off. |
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4.
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GRACE
Pea's in a pie is not a good
combination. Maybe berries or
strawberry or even-
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He buzzs Grace off with his hands and makes a buzzing sound.
She shuts up. |
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JACK
My tape player broken so I needed
to use Your's.
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WILL
Why do I have to suffer? Go buy
You another one!
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Jack eyes widen and mouth drops in shock. Will frowns at his
reaction.
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JACK
How dare You! You want me to place
something that has sentimental
value to me. The one thing that my
Dad left me before he became
black! I'm going to say it
again... HOW DARE YOU!
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GRACE
You bought that off the street
from that bumb that lives under
the bridge for five bucks. |
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Jack gets all up in Grace face trying to cut her off from
Jack knowing the truth. |
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JACK (CONT'D)
It still has sentimental value to
Me. |
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5.
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WILL
Right, a stolen radio with a eight
track and tape player. They don't
even make tracks for those
anymore.
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JACK
Don't talk about Whitney and
besides I put Her in the shop and
it won't be out until Friday. |
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WILL
You named Your radio?
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JACK
Yea don't every woman name
something that means alot to them?
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GRACE
Actually, Men do that.
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JACK
Whatever. Now can You two excuse
me? I have some butt tightening to
do and Abs to flex.
(shows off his
stomach.)
Because no guy likes loose skin,
Willer! |
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Jack pinches Will loose stomach.
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JACK
When was the last time You did any
exercise chubby?
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Jack looks away then back at Will with a grin on his face. |
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6.
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JACK
Save it for Jenny. I have a
solution for all those rolls.
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GRACE
All this talking about food is
making me hungry. Icing, rolls,
doughnuts, fat...
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Grace rushes out the door. |
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'I'm Every Woman' plays loud from the radio. Jack dances and
encourages Will to dance too...Jack does
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JACK (CONT'D)
Work that body. |
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Jack rotates his waist in circles. Will does the same but a
little faster.
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JACK (CONT'D)
No like this.
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Jack moves his waist in circles still as if he's having sex.
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JACK
You're doing it like a Virgin Boy.
Do it like a man! Or a woman.
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Jack stands behind Will and rotates his waist again and
again and again... together they are at one.
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Jack is totally hypotized by Will's movement. |
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7.
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Jack closes his eyes and gets into the groove with Will ass.
WILL STOPS MOVING
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JACK
What are You doing? Keep going!
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Will Jumps away and turns off the radio.
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JACK (CONT'D)
Why did You stop? |
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WILL
You were humping Me!
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JACK
How dare You excuse Me of such a
true accusation? I don't have to
take it. I'm leaving.
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Jack walks out the apartment.
Will turns the music back on and does his own little dance.
Jack comes barging back into the room.
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JACK
And I'm taking Whitney with me!
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Jack grabs his tape out the radio and makes a dazzling exit. |
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INT. GRACE OFFICE - DAY |
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Grace, KAREN, Will
Grace enters with a doughnut in one hand and a thick gooey
green icing in the palm of her other head. She'll take a
bite of the doughnut, lick the icing out of her palm
repeatdly. Karen polish her nails at her desk. |
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8.
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KAREN
Honey, can you pour Me a cup of
coffee?
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GRACE
I just walked in Karren.
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Grace sits down on a stool and finish off her doughnut and
icing.
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KAREN
Honey, can you pour Me a cup of
coffee?
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Grace pours a cup of coffee. |
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KAREN
Awe, I don't know what I'd do with
out You. I've be dying for some,
but I couldn't figure out how to
pour the damn thing.
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GRACE
You lift and you pour it in you'r
cup. |
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Grace does each step one by one. |
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KAREN
I do what? I don't understand. |
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GRACE
You are special Karren. Very...
very special |
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KAREN
My Mother say's the same thing.
Especially when I do something she
don't like.
(giggles) |
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9.
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Grace takes a seat again and sips on her coffee. Karren
watches in despair.
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KAREN
What are You doing Miss Prissey?
Where's My coffee? I want coffee.
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GRACE
The coffee maker is cover there
with You'r cup. Help Yourself.
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Karren jumps up out of her chair with rage and sashay her
way over to Grace. She picks up the phone and dial.
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KAREN
Rosario get Your ass down here
now!
(pause)
I don't care if You're getting
your bunions cut. I said get Your
ass down here! Now!
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Karen slams the phone down on the reciever.
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GRACE
You are unbelievable. |
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Karren adjusts her clothes and sits back down.
ROSARIO enters without any shoes on and cotton balls between
the toes. Rosario breathes as if she had just ran a
marathoon.
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ROSARIO
What do You want? I was just in
the middle of getting some action
from my thereapist! He said I have
beautiful feet.
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KAREN
(laughs out loud)
He must of had his eyes closed.
You have more corn on you'r feet
then a cob. |
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10.
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ROSARIO
Just like You'r Men when their
having sex with you.
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KAREN
(eyes widen)
At least I get some! |
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KAREN
Your pencils don't count. Pencil
poker.
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Rosario eyes widen in shock. |
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KAREN (CONT'D)
Yeah... You didn't think I knew
huh. Well the truth is out. That's
right I know You're a pencil
poker, I seen You.
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ROSARIO
You nosey, crazy, evil lady.
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KAREN
Keep talking and I will tell Grace
about Your extra body part!
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ROSARIO
You wouldn't dare! |
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ROSARIO
What do You want from Me?
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Karen relaxes back in her chair. Rosario pours Karren a cup
of coffee. |
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11.
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Karen looks deep inside the cup. |
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Karen steadily sips on the so called cold coffee.
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KAREN (CONT'D)
You can't never get any good help
around here now a days.
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GRACE
Karren did I get any messages? |
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KAREN
Why are You asking Me?
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ROSARIO
I'm leaving and don't call Me
until I'm finish. |
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GRACE
Damn this pencil! This is My last
one.
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Grace throws the pencil into the trash can. Rosario diggs in
her pocket and pulls out a pencil. |
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Rosario pulls out a pencil and gives it to Grace then rushes
out.
Karren pops a pill and pours half of her booze into the cup
of coffee and drink.
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12.
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KAREN
The fresh part of waking up...
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She kiss her cup then takes a sip.
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WILL ENTERS |
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WILL
I can not take it anymore!
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Will storms into the office. |
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KAREN
I knew You would come around and
tell us You weren't gay.
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WILL
Lay off the drugs Karren. That's
not it. Its Jack- |
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Karen jumps out of her chair. |
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KAREN
You came to tell us You're in love
with Jack Farley. |
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WILL
(sarcastic laugh)
Have You been huffing the duster
again? Grace, Your going to have
to do something about Jack, He's
driving me crazy.
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WILL
You're his best friend and because
I said so. I can not work without
hearing 'IM EVERY WOMAN' in my
head. I was in court today and
when the Judge asked Me how does
my client plead.. The words 'Im
EVERY WOMAN' just plouted out. Try
(MORE)
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13.
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WILL (cont'd)
having everyone a court room laugh
at You.
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GRACE
Do You do the little dance to?
(laughs) |
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WILL
Ha ha ha thats right laugh it up. |
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GRACE
He's getting Whitney out Friday
thats only three more days away. |
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Grace sips her coffee. |
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KAREN
Ahh.. Yes! Me and Whitney had a
run in with each other a time or
two. I asked her I said "Whitney,
how in the hell are You loosing
all that weight? whatever it is
You need to hook a sistah up, You
know." Then Whitney told Me her
doctor perscribes her the weight
lost medications. So I asked her
to give Me her doctors name and
the Winch called her body guard on
me saying I was interrigating her. |
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WILL
Her doctor is Bobby Brown. |
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KAREN
Oh! You know Him? What's his
number? |
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Karen digs in her purse for a pen. |
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WILL
(to Grace)
Whitney and Jack has got to go. I
need My beauty sleep and I have
not yet to seek it since Jack has
been coming to our apartment. |
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14.
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JACK
(sings)
I'm every woman its all in Me,
anything You want from me I do it
naturally..oh..oh..o..o..o..oh. |
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Karen bobs her head to Jacks singing sensation. |
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JACK (CONT'D)
I feel like I just got laid but
better! |
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KAREN
What did You hit this morning? And
I hope Your brought enough for Me. |
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JACK
Thats the good thing...Nothing. |
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KAREN
What?! I have never heard of no
such thing. |
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Will gently shoves Grace arm while she skecthes out a design
on paper. |
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WILL
Now is the perfect time to tell
Him. |
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Will jumps into Grace face. |
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MAIL MAN ENTERS |
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MAIL MAN
I have a telogram for Karen
Walker. |
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15.
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KAREN
What the hell. Who is it from. |
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MAIL MAN
I am just the deliever man if You
want to know who sent it to You
read the damn letter. |
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KAREN
Its from Mileena Wilson. |
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MAIL MAN
Good.. Now sign this. |
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The overweight receieving hair line mail man lets Karen sign
the sheet of paper and left on his way. |
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JACK
Who is Mileena Wilson? An old
fling? |
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Jack snatches telogram out of Karen's hand. |
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KAREN
(sarcastically
laughs)
She wish. Mileena Wilson that
bitch! How dare She send Me an
invitation to her wedding. I was
suppose to marry Henry not that
tramp! |
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JACK
There's going to be free drinks
and food! |
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KAREN
(sings)
da...da...dada..da..da.. da..I'll
be there. |
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Karen drinks the rest of her spiked coffee. |
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GRACE
Free food? Im there to. |
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FADE OUT. |
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| Feedback |
| From Chris |
Date 1/17/2005 |
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| This was a very funny script however ive read the other ones youve written and the dialouge seems different other than that 2 thumbs up |
| From S.M. McNair |
Date 1/10/2005 |
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| Christine should write for the hit NBC TV series. In my world of reading the many scripts here on SB.com,no TV script can be complete without an offering of WILL & GRACE by this talented writer. Originality does not apply, as she can incorporate the characters and make a descent story that is entertaining and humorous. |
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