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by Jeffrey Benzon (getbusylivn@yahoo.com)
Rated: 
Genre: Drama
User Review: 
Four young friends eat at a diner with the intention of robbing it. Conscience and fear slowly overcome their wits as they debate their own fate.
This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
FADE IN:
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INT. DINER - NIGHT |
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Bird's eye shot focusing on ashtray. Very slowly pull back
while four people talk at a table while browsing their
menus. |
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MANOLO (looking over his menu)
Man, stop smoking so much. It
makes us look seedy. |
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Gina, a chipper young waitress comes to the head of the
table. Everyone looks up from his menu. |
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GINA
Hi, my name's Gina, and I'll be
taking care of you guys tonight.
Do you know what you want yet or
do you need some more time? |
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MANOLO
I'm ready. I'll take the Big Boy
Breakfast. I want the eggs
scrambled, link sausage...is it
too late to get grits? |
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GINA
We always have grits. |
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GINA
White or whole wheat toast? |
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MANOLO (excitedly)
Do you have English muffins? |
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GINA
Yes we do. Do you want some jelly
with that? |
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2.
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MANOLO
No. Just a lot of butter...and an
orange juice please. |
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GINA
Great. Well what can I get for the
rest of you? |
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LEWIS
(without looking
up from his menu)
Coffee. |
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Gina exits to kitchen. |
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SAM
How can you possibly eat so much? |
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MANOLO
I'm hungry...Besides, when we're
done with this place, I'll leave
her a really big tip. |
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JAKE
Look. Can we just get this over
with as soon as possible? You
don't really expect us to wait
until you eat your five course
meal do you? |
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MANOLO
Man, you need to calm down, learn
to enjoy life. |
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Gina comes with the coffee. |
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3.
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GINA
Do you guys need cream? |
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LEWIS, JAKE, AND SAM (In Unison)
Yes. |
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Gina reaches into her apron and pulls out a handful of
individual creamers. |
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GINA
Well okay! Here's a bunch for you
then. |
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Gina sets the creamers on the table. |
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GINA
Oh! I forgot your orange juice.
I'll be right back with that. |
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While Gina is away getting the orange juice there is a long
period of silence. Manolo taps his fingers. Lewis shakes a
few sugar packets. Jake and Sam stir in creamer with their
spoons. There is a large emphasis on the sound of the
action. |
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Gina comes back from the kitchen with the orange juice. |
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GINA
Here you go. Sorry about that. |
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CU: Manolo looks from side to side and inconspicuously spits |
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his gum into his hand and sticks it underneath the table. |
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MS: All four are at the table. Others are drinking their
coffee. Manolo sips his orange juice. |
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MANOLO (smacking his lips)
No pulp. Just the way I like it. |
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JAKE
Seriously, there aren't many
people here right now. It's
(MORE)
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4.
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JAKE (cont'd)
perfect. We'll just grab the money
(realizing that he has been
talking loud, he pauses and lowers
his voice) ...and get out of here. |
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MANOLO
Man, why do you always gotta get
so nervous? Like when you let me
cheat off you in Algebra back in
high school. |
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SAM (laughing)
Yeah, I remember that. For like
the next two days you were
all,(impersonating Jake) "We
should really tell the teacher. I
don't want to get into trouble." |
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MANOLO
...We both got A's. |
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LEWIS (nodding and laughing slightly)
Yeah...that was funny. |
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JAKE (irritably)
Well, maybe I am nervous, and
maybe you should be too. This is
bigger than an Algebra test. If we
get caught... |
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SAM
Keep your voice down. |
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MANOLO (slouching in disbelief of what he just heard)
Look! Nobody's going to get
caught. |
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CU: check in Gina's hand as she walks and sets it down on
the table. TILT up to REVEAL characters at the table. |
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MANOLO (Cont.)
(narrating)
After I'm done with my breakfast,
we just wait for Gina to come back
with the check. |
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5.
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MANOLO
Hey Thanks Gina, now before you go
I'm gonna need you to go and empty
out that cash drawer for us. |
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CUT- EXT. Diner |
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MUSIC IN, characters running out (slow motion) toward the
car carrying bags of money. CUT to CU of Manolo's face
smiling widely. |
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On a hit in the music, CUT back to the same framing of
Manolo's face with a wide smile, but this time he is sitting
in reality at the table in the diner. |
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SAM
Yeah, good one Pablo. You think
she'll just give you the money if
you ask for it? |
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MANOLO
First of all, it's Manolo. And
second of all, we brought the gun
just in case. We don't actually
need to use it. |
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LEWIS
Yeah. I really think that we
should keep the gun-slinging stuff
to a minimum. |
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SAM
Yeah, Lewis. But nobody's just
gonna hand over the money if they
don't think we're serious. |
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LEWIS
Listen. I'm just sayin... |
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CUT to straight on MS of Jake as he lights another
cigarette. |
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JAKE (staring at something but not at anyone.)
Things aren't always that easy... |
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6.
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begin his imagination scene, but it isn't necessarily
apparent to the viewer. |
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CUT to shot of behind Gina at head of the table facing the
four at the table. All four are looking at her. |
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GINA (laughing)
You guys are funny. This is the
first time anyone's ever... |
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JAKE (a little miffed)
No. We're serious. We really have
a gun. We're robbing you. |
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Gina chuckles, turns around and begins to walk away. When
she leaves the frame, Jake jumps up and over the table with
the gun out. The rest tell him to calm down and put the gun
away. What are you doing? etc. |
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Male Patron #1 stands up slowly from the bar and faces Jake.
He puts his palms up. He is speaks reasonably as if to say,
"Lets be reasonable here." |
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PATRON #1
Woah, son. You don't want to hurt
anybody. Why don't you just put
that down? |
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Jake moves the sight from Gina to Patron #1, and his anger
heightens as he spits out his cigarette. Gina remains frozen
facing Jake. |
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JAKE
Don't tell me what I do and do not
want to do. |
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Patron #1 maintains his innocent stance. |
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PATRON #1
Woah woah. You don't wanna shoot
me over a couple hundred dollars,
son. |
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7.
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CUT to shot of Jake holding gun. Camera TRACKS up his arm
and ends with a close up of only the left half of his face. |
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SFX: LOUD SOUND OF GUNSHOT |
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Camera moves back from Jake's face and starts to circle him
slowly moving to his left. We see his friends yelling at him
in the background (out of focus). |
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Camera continues to slowly circle him to the left. His
friends are yelling the whole time, and Gina is screaming.
When we reach the point when we can no longer see his eyes,
he spins around to face his friends (and just about face the
camera because the camera was just about at his back). With
the gun now up by his head and his other hand doing the same
(chopping) he yells again. |
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The camera continues to circle to his left. He slowly spins
back around toward Gina with the gun at his side. As the
camera rounds toward his frontside again he slowly raises
his arm. The camera closes in on the left side of his face
again as he softly says... |
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JAKE (softly)
Shuttup...shut....up... |
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SFX: LOUD GUNSHOT |
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As the sound of the gun goes off, Jake blinks. When his eyes
reopen from the blink we CUT to shot of him sitting in his
place at the table in reality with the same shot of the left
side of his face. Truck back to REVEAL table. Jake is still
staring. |
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MANOLO
What do you mean it's not that
easy? |
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8.
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JAKE
I'm just sayin...ya know...things
happen sometimes that are...beyond
your control. |
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Gina walks up with tray of food for Manolo. The table is
silent. |
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GINA
Here you are. Enjoy your
breakfast. |
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Manolo unwraps his silverware, stuffs the napkin in his
shirt like a bib, and concentrates on cutting up and eating
his breakfast. Sam takes a piece of toast off of his plate
without asking. Manolo silently offers a bite of sausage to
Lewis, who takes it and eats it. A few seconds pass, and
Jake, not wanting to be left out, takes out a cigarette from
the pack lying on the table and lights it up. |
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Manolo puts a bite of food in his mouth, as he begins to
chew he acts as though he has something to say so he
swallows quickly and speaks. |
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MANOLO
Oh! I rented Scarface. (takes a
bite of food) |
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LEWIS (quickly responding)
The one with Pacino or with Paul
Muni? |
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MANOLO (with a mouth full of food)
Pacino! Who's Paul Muni? |
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LEWIS (under his breathe)
The original Scarface. |
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SAM
Ok. So who's gonna do the talking? |
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9.
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MANOLO
I will. (swallows) |
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JAKE
You think this is so simple don't
you? You think you can just take
the money and walk out of here. |
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MANOLO
What's your problem, Jake? |
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SAM (with emphasis on the word "do")
Jake's right though. Say we do get
the money. We still have to get it
home. |
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MANOLO (obviously)
So...we put it in the car and
drive home |
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SAM
Listen, cops come in these places
all the time late at night lookin
for a cup of coffee. I can totally
see us leaving the place with the
money just as a cop car pulls up. |
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CUT- EXT. Diner |
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MUSIC IN. A cop car pulls into a space in the BACKGROUND.
They are running to the car with the money. Gina comes to
the door, flings it open and says, "They robbed us!" As the
four are running to the car, one yells, "Aww shit!" We CUT
to a shot of the backseat of the cop car with the four of
them expressionless, bobbing up and down to the bumps. |
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MANOLO (narrating)
Naw man, we could totally outrun
them. |
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CUT to same shot of them coming out of the diner as before. |
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10.
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SAM (narrating sarcastically)
Yeah, we could outrun them. We'd
probably end up with our car
overturned in some field
somewhere. |
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CUT to shot of overturned car with an arm sticking out of
the passenger side window holding a wad of cash. Money also
blows across the field. |
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SAM (narrating)
Yeah that'd be great. |
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CUT- INT. Diner 4-shot. |
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JAKE
Let's do it now. I'm sick of
waiting. |
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MANOLO (with a wad of food in his mouth and pointing his fork at Jake)
Yeah, that's the spirit Jake |
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SAM
All right, first lets just go over
it again. How we're gonna do this.
Manolo, you're calling Gina over
to the table. Jake, you show her
the gun. |
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JAKE
How about you take the gun Sam? |
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SAM
But YOU have the gun. |
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JAKE (quickly)
I'll slip it to you under the
table. |
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SAM
No, we talked about this. YOU'RE
showing her the gun. |
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JAKE
I just think that it's bet... |
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11.
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LEWIS (interrupting)
So what if we just don't rob it at
all? |
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There is a split second of silence at the table as they all
stop to think about it. Manolo even stops eating for a
second. |
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A man from two booths behind them stands up brandishing a
large handgun. |
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PATRON #2
All right everyone, on the floor! |
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We CUT to black midway through the turn of the two
characters who are not facing patron #2 as they turn around
to see. |
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PATRON #2
This is a Robbery! |
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FADE OUT. |
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| Feedback |
| From Fish Stark |
Date 3/11/2008 |
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| WONDERFUL! You know, this is the kind of thing that young people face every day: They have to make a decision that could affect their lives, and they have to consider the possibilities. the 'what could have been's' were confusing at first, but eventually they made sense. Liked the characters and the atmosphere--good flowing dialogue, just clean it up gramatically. Can't tell you how great this is...... |
| From jonathanm |
Date 12/4/2005 |
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| i think this was good i loved it but way to much camera direction, you realy don't need to say all of that. |
| From William Gicking |
Date 7/6/2005 |
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| It was enjoyable to me, a good concept and was utilized pretty well too. |
| From Seth C |
Date 5/3/2005 |
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| hmmm i think that greg guy is an idiot. very good screen play good be better with the right changes.
~seth |
| From Bradley Ferguson |
Date 2/5/2005 |
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| I liked it, I am wondering now if this last part is the real thing or a vision. I was interested throughout. You added way to much camera direction though...it is not nesecarry. |
| From Greg |
Date 1/21/2005 |
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| Another petty screenplay delving into the depths of Mediocrity, this was bland and uninteresting.
Nice concept though. |
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