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Chili Dogs
by Chris (chris@apathytheory.com)

Rated: PG   Genre: Comedy   User Review: *1/2

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.


MAT, and JARLEY are playing video games just they arrived
after school. TODD's parent's are expected to be home any
minute. Todd enters the room with a bowl of chips.
Hey! You played my guy!
What? You were out! Wait till next
Because YOU asked me to get sn...
Todd trips on the carpet and spills chips all over the
Mat picks up the bowl and runs out of the room.
That's the third bowl of chips!
Can't we just go with the
five-second rule?
What? What happened? Oh, dammit! I
wet my pants again.
                       MAT (OS)
The phone rings and Todd gets up to get it.
Now don't play my guy this time.
Just press pause or something.
Todd exits the room. Jarley digs through his bag and pulls
out another pair of pants and exits to room to go to the


Todd enters and grabs the phone off the hook. Mat runs
through the kitchen holding the bowl of chips above his head
and exits.
      (on phone)
                       TODD'S MOM (OS)
Todd, honey this is your mother.
Hi mom. What do you need?
                       TODD'S MOM (OS)
Does a mother need a reason to
talk to her favorite son?
No she doesn't!
                       TODD'S DAD (OS)
      (on the phone in
       the background)
Tell him to get the damn chili mix
and lets hurry up!
                       TODD'S MOM (OS)
Honey, we are going to be a little
late getting home so I need you to
make some dinner for us.
What are we having?
                       TODD'S MOM (OS)
I need you to go to the store and
pick up some chili mix.
But Mom! My car doesn't work and
the store is like 5 miles away!
                       TODD'S MOM (OS)
Don't you talk back to your
mother! Now you scoot!
Yes mom.


Todd turns around to see Jarley standing behind him.
Jeez! You scared me!
That was the most pathetic thing
I've ever seen. She still breast
feed you or what?
Shut up! I gotta go. I have to get
to the store to get some chili
You're kidding, right? It's like 5
miles away from here!
I never said you have to go with
Yeah but I have nothing better to
do until "Brutal Real Live Fight
Videos" comes on.
Mat enters the room breathing heavy and stops at the
      (breathing heavy)
It was... a close one... we almost
lost..but...we beat em... 45 to
Ok well lets get going then.
The boys leave the room and grab their bicycles from the
garage and head down the road to the grocery store. The sun
is starting its decent behind the horizon as they ride
through the streets. As night falls the boys stop to get out
their flashlights when three dark firgures approach.


                       DARK FIGURE 1
Hey what are you kids doing?
The boys start to hesitate and prepare to get on their
                       DARK FIGURE 3
Oh, come on we just want to talk!
                       DARK FIGURE 2
Yeah let's chat a while!
We gotta go.
The three figures run up to the boys and pull all three of
them to the ground and beat them up. They finally stop
pummeling the boys and grab Todd, Mat, and Jarley's bikes
and ride off with them.
Well this is just perfect. We are
without a ride and we still have
like 3 and a half miles to go.
I could have taken em! ...I need
to change my pants again.
Well let's just get going. This
trip isn't going to get any
They head out and walk about a mile until they realize the
flashlights are starting to die.
Freakin sweet, dude. Now what the
hell are we supposed to do?
Huddle up!


Ok. I say we just stay on the
streets so we have the
streetlights to go by.
Well lets hurry because we still
don't know where the street is and
our flashlights won't last another
10 minutes.
After wandering for some time they find the streets and
begin walking down them.
What's wrong, Mat?
I was taken down at the 40-yard
What happened?
Mat sprained his ankle. We gotta
carry him.
Dib's not!
We'll take turns.
Todd lifts Mat up and carries him piggy-back style.
My god you're heavy!
They continue down the road and finally arrive at the Store.
What a night, first we get mugged,
then our flashlights go out, and
to top it all off, Mat sprains his
ankle. What else could go wrong?
The Store could be closed.


The boys look ahead to see the store in front of them with a
closed for remodeling sign in the window.
Oh my god, no!
What? Oh. So what are we supposed
to do now?
That's it!
                       MAT AND JARLEY
I'm sick of this! Of always being
such a puppet to my parents! I've
had ENOUGH! Look at us! We are in
the middle of NOWHERE at 9 at
night with no flashlights and no
transportation and to top it all
off, we carry the weight of gimpy,
over here!
Are you ok, dude? This is not the
Todd I know.
From now on, I make my own life
happen... not my parents.
Just then, they see a car drive up. The headlights blind the
boys for a second and the car stops in front of them. When
the headlights dim they can see who the drivers are: Todd's
Mom and Dad.
                       TODD'S MOM
Where have you been! I have been
worried sick!
                       TODD'S DAD
You're in big trouble you little..
                       TODD'S MOM


You told me to come out here! You
called and said get some Chili Mix
from the Store!
                       TODD'S MOM
TODD! I meant from the STORE! Our
store-age. Our pantry! Get it?
I've called it that since you were
Todd, realizing his mistake, slowly drops his head.
                       TODD'S MOM
Now get in the car! Al of you!
                       TODD'S MOM
What did you say to me?
No. I'm going home with my friends
without you. I don't need your
                       TODD'S MOM
Todd you get in this car right
now, you hear me?
Mom. I'm sick of being pushed
around by you guys! I have no
self-esteem, no courage, no LIFE!
                       TODD'S MOM
Honey. You know we love you. We
just care about you that's all.
I know mom. I know. I just have to
do this for myself.
                       TODD'S DAD
Todd, just get in the car, please.
Its 5 miles home and you have
school tommorow!
                       TODD'S MOM
Yes we'll talk about this when we
get home now let's just get in the


                       TODD'S MOM (cont'd)
car and do so. I'm sure Mathew and
Jarlissius don't want to walk back
in the dark...
She's got a point, dude.
Umm... yeah.
Alright, alright. We'll get in the
They drive through the streets in complete silence. After
about 3 miles, they feel a large bump and Donald pulls the
car over to investigate.
                       TODD'S DAD
      (getting out of
       the car)
Dammit! what happened now?
                       TODD'S MOM
Be careful, honey!
Donald investigates the car for a minute and then returns to
the cabin.
What is it? What's wrong?
                       TODD'S DAD
We hit a board with a nail in it.
We've got a flat.
                       TODD'S MOM
Can't you just switch it out with
the spare?
                       TODD'S DAD
We already did-on the way here,
                       TODD'S MOM
Oh, right.
So we're stuck?


                       TODD'S DAD
I'm afraid so. We'll have to lock
up the car and leave it here till
They walk the streets and slowly arrive at the top of the
hill where you can see Todd's neighborhood. They continue
and finally reach their destination.
                       TODD'S MOM
Finally! We're home! I don't think
I could have walked much further.
Yeah I know what you mean. My legs
are really sore.
Well, look! School starts in
(checks his watch) 3 hours!
Awesome. Now that freaking rocks.
                       TODD'S MOM
Boys, now why don't you just skip
school today. You've had a long
night. Besides, if you went, you
wouldn't be there mentally
Hail Mary!
They finally arrive at the front door and Donald tries to
open it.
                       TODD'S MOM
Honey, is there a problem?
                       TODD'S DAD
Of course there's a problem! Why
wouldn't there be?
                       TODD'S MOM
Now there's no need to get angry!
What seems to be the trouble?


                       TODD'S DAD
Well look through the window at
the counter over there... what do
you see?
                       TODD'S MOM
Well, I see my hat, some flowers,
dinner, and oh! Something shiny!
                       TODD'S DAD
Yes, that would be our keys. For
the front door. That we are trying
to get through now.
Can't we climb through a window?
                       TODD'S DAD
Your mother locks all of them -
she's paranoid.
Margarite shrugs her shoulders.
                       TODD'S DAD
We have a tent in the shed. We can
sleep in that until morn... until
later. Then we can ask one of the
neighbors if we can use their
phone to call a locksmith.
This just keeps getting better and
better doesnt it?
They boys sleep as well as Margarite. Donald is up and over
at the neighbors house trying to use the phone. He returns
and wakes everyone up.
                       TODD'S DAD
We have a problem, kids.
                       TODD'S MOM
What's the matter, dear?
                       TODD'S DAD
Well, it appears that all the
neighbors are on vacation.


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From Aaron Smith Date 2/18/2005 **1/2
Forget about Mr. Adam Ross. This was actually really good! The one thing that I do say is that you should make the distance about 20 miles, as it would NOT take all night for 5.

From Adam Ross Date 2/16/2005 1/2
Not very good at all. The running football joke is lame and I don't think anyone would laugh at it. The misunderstanding with the "store" is not believable. You also have no concept of time. It doesn't take all night to walk 5 miles. They should not be 3 hours away from school when they return if they left at dinner time. It takes a little over an hour to walk 5 miles. Get a better plot.

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