	Login Help

Screenwriter Community

by Scott L Bailey (scottlee7804@yahoo.com)

Rated:

Genre: Horror User Review:

I've decided to take this piece in a COMPLETELY diffrent direction. So since this version will never be fully completed (at least for right now) Ive decided to post it to see what everyone thinks of this version. If it gets good reviews than maybee ill split it off into two entirely diffrent stories. All my greatest ideas hinder within this story and i just believe the premise of it does not fit in with my scare scenes and i could not think of an ending that fit. The direction im taking the story off into is without doubt the most creepy and original concept i have ever come up with, so i'm excited about whats to come. Anyways, enough of my ranting. This story has not been completed and has not been edited whatsoever so please keep that in mind. There are some things that are downright laughable. I just decided not to waste time editing this since its gona be scrapped anyway.

INT. DARK BEDROOM - NIGHT

A man and a woman laying in bed. The man has his arm around
the woman. We cannot see the mans face. We can, however,
make out the womans face. There is ray of light either from
the moon or a streetlight shining down upon her face as we
see the shadows of the blinds across her face. She seems to
be in a state of peacefulness .

The man begins to move. He takes his arm gently away from
the woman and sits up in the bed . He begins to put his
boots on. We still do not see his face as he stands up and
walks out of the bedroom. We are shown the young womans face
again. The woman is fast asleep.

EXT. DREAM SEQUENCE-WOODED AREA - DAY

The Woman, KARLA HILL (22) is dreaming of a family picnic
with around twenty people. The men and women are busy
cleaning up and packing theyre cars with theyre assorted
picnic materials. The children are running around and
annoying theyre parents. It appears to be in the mid
nineteen-eighties by the way the people are dressed. There
is a large forest behind the picnic area and the sun is
setting behind the treeline.

EXT. DREAM SEQUENCE-PATH THROUGH WOODS - DAY

We see karla as a young child with her mother, father and
older brother Hiking down a large path through the woods.
They have had a long day of sightseeing and are in a hurry
to get back to the picnic before the sun goes down.

KARLA'S MOTHER
(concerned)
"Now dont you kids go running off.
Its starting to get dark"!

Young Karla becomes excited when a baby rabbit scurries in
front of her and into the bushes. Karlas eyes light up as
she see smiles.

KARLA
"Come here bunny rabbit, come
here"

Karla begins to chase the rabbit into the woods and down
into a ravine.

Her parents are lost in conversation and dont notice that
she is gone as they drift out of sight.

Karla finally catches up with the baby rabbit a few minutes
later. She reaches out to grab it but the rabbit disappears
into a mess of thorn bushes. A look of disapointment crosses
Karla's face as she walks away. Quikly, Karla's facial
expression turns into one of worry as she realizes her
parents are nowhere in sight and it is getting darker. She
begins to run back up the ravine towards the main path but
all she sees is more trees where she thought the path was. A
look of fear and sadness crosses her face as she begins to
sob. She begins to yell for her family but her screams
disolve into the thick dark trees surrounding her.

KARLA
(frantically)
"MOMMY"...."DADDY"...Can anyone
here me..Someone pleeeease help
meee". "Im so scared".

All of a sudden she hears movement in the bushes behind her.
She quikly turns and looks but there is nothing there. A
moment later she hears it again. This time she does not
bother to look as she begins to run through the dark woods.
she doesnt get very far before she trips over a log and
falls to the ground. She picks herself up from the ground.
In the ditance there are two glowing eyes moving towards her
in the darkness. Karla tries to scream but cant get it out.
The eyes keep moving closer and closer. Karla jumps up
finally and runs away as fast as she can.

Karlas parents are frantically searching for her and yelling
her name.

Karla is laying down in the dirt too exhausted to run
anymore. A few moments later we see what appears to be a
flashlight coming towards her and heavy footsteps breaking

through the twigs and brush. As it gets closer we see a man
with a flashlight. As it comes closer we see that it is a
rugged old hermit. He has long, dirty, messed up hair with a
fur hat on top and a long bushy beard. The man crouches down
to get a better look at Karla.

HERMIT
(grinning)
"Well well, what have we got here"

Karla looks slightly scared as the man smiles and extends
his hand out to her to help her up.

HERMIT
Its ok youngin I wont bite. So
come on with me now and ill get ya
out of these darn woods.

Karla Grabs his hand and he pulls her up to her feet. They
begin to walk for a several minutes until they come to a log
cabin in the middle of the woods.

KARLA
(uneasy)
"I want to see my mommy and
daddy"!

HERMIT
"Now dont you worry youngin. You
come on in now and get some sleep
and in the mornin we will find
your momma and daddy".

INT. HERMIT'S HOUSE - NIGHT

Karla is laying in bed. There animal heads and furs lining
the walls around her.

Karla has a flashback of the glowing eyes

cut to:
Flashbacks of the hermits face looking down upon her

Cut to:
The glowing eyes once again although this time they are

really there coming towards her through the bedroom door of
the cabin. Karla begins to get scared until she notices it
is a large wolf/ dog
and appears to be friendly. It jumps up on the bed with her
and licks her face. Karla falls back asleep.

the little girl is startled as she hears sounds of footsteps
coming through the cabin to her room. She peeks out one eye
as the hermit passes in front of her door. She hugs the dog
closly. The hermit stops and takes a step back peeking into
the room. Just staring at her with an expressionless face
very eerily. Karla closes her eyes. When she opens them the
hermit is gone and she has awoken from her dream and is back
in her apartment.

INT. KARLAS BEDROOM - NIGHT

Karla appears a little shaken up about the dream she just
had. She momentarly gains her composure and turns around in
her bed to see that the man that was by her side is not
there anymore. She turns back over and sighs, looking
slightly mad. Several moments later she hears the front door
of her apartment slam and hears footsteps coming towards her
room they get closer and closer until she sees a omunious
figure in the doorway to her bedroom.

JULIA
"Honey, are you coming back to
bed?

The shadowy figure just stands there motionless not saying a
word.

JULIA
(frustaded)
"Why arent you answering me"?

"Fine then, just leave me like you
always do".

The shadowy figure still stands there not saying a word.

JULIA
"Well, are you just gona stand
there all night"?

Tense music builds up. The figure steps forward out of the
shadows. The moonlight from the window shines upon his face
as we see that it is the hermit from her dream with the
expressionless look on his face.

JULIA
(horrified)
"Oh my god"

Karla turns over in her bed to get up and and run. When she
sees the two glowing eyes followed by a wolf head lunging
towards her out of the darkness.

We here her scream dissolving into heavy metal music.

INT. INFERNO CLUB - NIGHT

MAIN TITLE SEQUENCE

A large gothic club in Chicago. There is a freaky looking
goth band on the stage playing the music we are hearing.

EXT. OUTSIDE THE INFERNO - NIGHT

Ambulance and police sirens echo throughout the night sky. A
few buildings down people from the Inferno Club gather
around to see whats going on.

INT. INFERNO CLUB - NIGHT

Inside the Inferno club. A gothic looking bar with strange
occult artifacts and things like huge swords, whips and
chains cluttered along the walls. Women dressed in Leather S
& M outfits dance in massive steel cages. One of them drapes
a large Albino Python around her. All the people in the club
are dressed very gothic.

The lead singer on the stage put the mic up to his groin

using it as sort of mechanical penis and continues to run
around humping all the band members with it.

All of a sudden a sharply dressed man runs up on stage and
whispers something in the lead singers ear.

LEAD SINGER
You fuckin kiddin me?

The crowd goes silent as the band members put down their
instruments and walk off the stage.

            LEAD SINGER
      (Runs back on
       stage with mic)
"Well ive been told we cant play
anymore".
(pause for boos)
"Yeah, yeah i know. It seems
theres a bloody mess outside or
something.
I mean come on we are in Chicago
this aint no fuckin Mayberry here.

crowd boes

LEAD SINGER
(angry)
This asshole says we cant play no
more. So were out of here. Have a
nice night.

The lead singer throws the mic down and storms off the
stage.

People in the club look pissed off.

EXT. MANAGERS OFFICE-INFERNO CLUB - DAY

an overweight middle aged man CALVIN PERONA (42) sitting at
his desktalking on the phone.

CAL
Hello? Sheriff !!
Yeah this is Calvin Perona down at
(MORE)

CAL (cont'd)
the Inferno Club. You got my
Parking lot down here blocked off
with your squad cars and im tryin
to clear this place out. We got
alotta pissed off drunk people
tryin to get out of here right now
and im tryin to keep em from
trashin the place.

A handsome Italion man GETTY (32) walks into the office and
sits down. He is the owner of the Inferno Club.

Cal motions him to hold on for just a second.

CAL
Thank you sheriff. I dont mean to
bust your balls but im trying to
run a buisness here.
(listens)
Ok. Thank you very much

Cal hangs up the phone.

GETTY
(concerned)
"Whats goin on here Cal? I seen
all the police outside".

CAL
"All ive heard so far is that
someone called the police and
reported a woman screaming in one
of the apartment buildings down
the street. Its a Godamn zoo out
there".

GETTY
"No kidding"? Well what are we
sittin here for? Lets go check it
out".

EXT. OUTSIDE THE INFERNO - NIGHT

Getty and Cal walk towards an ambulance where the paremdics
are carrying a stretcher with a covered body on it.

as they start to lift the stretcher the cover comes partway
off the victom and we see the mutilated face off KARLA HILL.

CAL
Jesus Christ !!!

Getty and Cal look sick to theyre stomachs.

CAL
What in the hell happened to her?

PARAMEDIC
"She got messed up pretty bad,
hard to say"

CAL
Looks like she got attacked by a
damn grizzly bear or something.

The paramedic covers Karlas body back up.

The paramedic covers the body back up. They load her into
the ambulance and pull away.

GETTY
(half-jokingly)
Now that wasnt very nice of you
Cal.

CAL
Godamn kids. Ill never understand
em.

GETTY
Those crazy kids are what keep us
in buisness Cal.

Both men walk back towards the club

INT. HARRIS HOUSE - DAY

Focus in on our lead character RACHEAL HARRIS (21). Racheal
is a petite attractive young woman. Racheal looks at a
picture of her and her ex boyfriend JAKE NICHOLS on her

dresser with a sad look on her face. Then she quickly turns
her facial expression as if she didnt know what she was
doing. She then gets out of her bed and stretches, puts on
her slippers and walks downstairs into the kitchen where her
family is eating breakfast.

INT. HARRIS HOUSE-KITCHEN - DAY

The first person we see is Racheals mother DIANE HARRIS (37)
is cracking eggs over the skillet. Despite her age DIANE is
still very attractive and could be mistakern for RACHEALS
sister

DIANE (MOTHER)
(enthusiastically)
Goodmorning honey

JULIA
"Hi mom...Whats for breakfast?"

DIANE (MOTHER)
Eggs bacon and toast

RACH
(disapointed)
again?

DAN (FATHER)
You know you dont have to eat it
Racheal. You can just cook for
yourself from now on. YOu know as
a matter of a fact when your
mother was your age. She was
working and raising a family.

DAN HARRIS (47) overweight working class father of RACHEAL
sitting at the table reading the newspaper.

DIANE (MOTHER)
(interupting)
Its ok. Honey what would you like
me to make you?

RACH
"Mom please dont".

10.

DAN (FATHER)
Yeah just kiss the little
princesses ass like you always do
Diane.

RACH
(angry)
"Dad, why do you always have to do
this"?

DIANE comes over to DAN with a skillet full of eggs.

DIANE (MOTHER)
(cheerfully)
More eggs honey?

DAN (FATHER)
I dont want any godamn eggs.

DIANE (MOTHER)
ok dear just let me know if you
change your mind.

DAN (FATHER)
Actually I got to get to work a
little early today. I told Fred id
pick up the Blueprints at the
shop.

DIANE (MOTHER)
(sarcastically)
ok sweethweart have a super day.

Dan gets up and puts his coat on. Diane goes to kiss him on
the cheek but Dan turns away like shes not even there. He
walks out the door without saying a word

DIANE (MOTHER)
So Rach honey isnt it beutiful out
today

            RACH
      (concerned)
"Mom, please stop it. You cant
keep pretending to be happy.
Whatever is going on between you
            (MORE)

11.

RACH (cont'd)
dad is none of my buisness but i
cant stand for you to just take
the way he treats you and act like
theres nothing wrong".

DIANE (MOTHER)
"Now Racheal. Your fathers just
been a little moody lately about
things that have been happening at
work, but he will come around.
Everything is fine".

RACH
"Mom, i know you love him and all
and so do I, but this has been
going on too long. He treats us
like were invisable unless hes
yelling at us about something. You
need to stop pretending that
everything is allright cause we
both no that its not".

DIANE (MOTHER)
racheal stop

RACH
Hes an asshole mother. And the
sooner you except that the better
off we will be.

DIANE (MOTHER)
(turning away)
I will not sit here and listen to
you talk that way about your
father.

RACH
"Fine than. Keep pretending your
happy".

A car horn honks outside and RACHEAL jumps up.

RACH
(Rushing)
"oh Damn. Julia is here already.
Mom is my work uniform dried yet"?

12.

DIANE (MOTHER)
"Its hanging in the closet."

Racheal runs into the closet changing into her waitress
uniform.

RACH
"Bye mom".

Racheal kisses her mother as she runs out the door.

EXT. JULIAS CAR - DAY

RACH runs out to her best friend JULIA MATHEWS (22) car and
jumps in.

RACH
"Whats up"?

JULIA
"Oh nothin much, just cant wait to
get to work. You know another
exciting day of waiting tables"

RACH
(Laughing)
"I cant say i share your
enthusiasm".

Julia pulls out a pack of ciggeretes from her purse.

JULIA
"Wanna smoke Rach"?

RACH
"You know I dont smoke".

JULIA
"Suite yourself".

Julia lights up a cigarette for herself and blows a big
cloud of smoke out .

13.

INT. POLICE STATION - DAY

Police chief John Craven sitting at his desk discussing the
KARLA HILL case with two detectives.

CRAVEN
"We got a dead girl, no word from
any family, no leads whatsoever,
the media is all over our ass.
Please tell me you got some good
news for me detectives".

DETECTIVE 1
"Well John unfortuntly things are
going rather slow".

CRAVEN
"Rather slow? Please elaberate
detective".

DETECTIVE 1
"There was no evidence of forced
entry whatsoever. We dusted the
place and it was completely
clean".

DETECTIVE 2
(interuppting)
"The only people who know anything
about the girl were some neighbors
and they hadnt noticed any
suspicious activity last night".

CRAVEN
(shocked)
"Suspicious Activity !!! This girl
gets chewed up like a horse in a
glue factory and nobody noticed
anything"?

Craven slams his hand down on the table making the two
detectives jump.

CRAVEN
"We need some leads on this case
detectives".

14.

The first DETECTIVE gets a call on his cell phone,
interupting the conversation.

DETECTIVE 1
"Yeah, hello". This better be
important".

There is a silence as the detective listens on the phone.

DETECTIVE 1
"Yes, ok then, well get down there
right away".

The detective looks down at the floor shaking his head
sadly.

CRAVEN
"What is it, what did they say"?

DETECTIVE 1
"Someone just called 911 and
reported another dead body".

CRAVEN hangs his head.

CRAVEN
"Oh lord no, whats the story on
this one"?

DETECTIVE 1
"The woman was found in a dumpster
behind Archies tavern".

CRAVEN
"Archies tavern, Archies tavern .
Isnt that close to the last
murder"?

DETECTIVE 1
"Yeah i believe its about five
blcoks away from there".

15.

CRAVEN
(angry)
"Well what the hell are you doing
just sittin there? Get the fuck
out there".

The detectives get up and run out of the office.

INT. HADDAWAY'S RESTERAUNT - DAY

A fifty's style retro diner. It is very busy and the
waitresses are running like crazy trying to serve everyone.

INT. HADDAWAYS - KITCHEN - DAY

Racheal enters the kitchen with a tray looking very stressed
out. Julia is back there talking to a handsome looking cook
when she is supposed to be working.

JULIA
"Aint the fuckin bus boy supposed
to do that, where is the little
bastard"?

RACH
"He went home sick".

Julia grabs the heavy tray of dishes out of Racheals hands
and unexpectedly throws them in the handsome young cooks
hands.

JULIA
"Here make yourself useful".

The cook stares at her blankly.

JULIA
"You are taking a break my dear
sweet Racheal".

RACH
"That sounds like a perfect idea"

16.

Racheal and Julia both sit down at a small table in the
back.

JULIA
"So whats up Rach? You seem down
today".

RACH
"oh nothin. I dont want to bother
you with my problems".

JULIA
"Are you still upset about Jake"?

RACH
" We been seperated for 3 months
now and he still hasnt got himself
cleaned up".

JULIA
"Whens the last time u seen him"?

RACH
"He called me a few days ago, high
as a kite of course, wanting to
see me".

JULIA
(smirking)
"Well speak of the devil".

RACH
"What are you talking about"

Racheal turns around and off in the distance out in the
seating area she sees a familier face. Its is her ex
Boyfriend Jake Nichols.

RACH
(disguist)
"Oh my god, what is he doing
here"?

JULIA
"We'll to late to hide now, hes
looking right at you".

17.

Racheal stands up and walks to the front counter where JAKE
is standing.

JAKE NICHOLS (24) standing there with a hazy look in his
eyes. His clothes are dirty and wrinkled. The rings under
his eyes show he hasnt slept for days. His hair messed up
and grimy.

RACH
(annoyed)
"Jake, what are you doing here.
Ive told you not to bother me at
work".

JAKE
(stepping forward)
"Listen to me racheal, ok?
Ive tried calling you, Ive left
messages. Why is it that you
refuse to talk to me"?

RACH
"Jake, this is not the time or the
place".

JAKE
(raising his voice)
"Well when is a good time? Huh
Racheal Id like you to tell me
when a good fucking time is"

JULIA
(to a waitress)
"Oh my god he smells horrible".

RACH
"I told you Jake I need some time
apart. If we ever get back
together, well I guess that
depends on you"?

Jake is nervous and twitching like hes on something.

18.

JAKE
(pleading)
"Racheal I need your help. I need
you there to support me".

Jake reaches for her. She pushes his hand away.

RACH
"I gave you all the help
I could for two years and this is
what I get in return.
Look at yourself"

JAKE
(grabbing racheal)
"What do I have to do to show you
how much you mean to me"?

Pushes him away again.

RACH
This is ridiculous I have to get
back to work.

As JAKE goes to grab RACHEAL again a hand grabs kaes hand
from behind and pulls it away.

It is GETTY the owner of the INFERNO CLUB

He is in a suit with a group of buisness men.

GETTY
(stern)
"Do we have a problem here"?

Jake goes to push GETTY

JAKE
"Hey mind your own fuckin
buisness, asshole"?

GETTY twists JAKES wrist making him wince in pain.

19.

GETTY
"I believe I was talking to the
lady".

Turning towards RACHEAL

GETTY
"Is this guy bothering you ma'am"?

RACH
"Jake, please just leave. We'll
talk about this later, o.k?"

Jake Gives GETTY and RACHEAL a dirty look.

JAKE
(Yelling)
"O.k. I see how it is, nobody
wants the fuckin drug addict
around".

Everyone in the resteraunt is now staring.

JAKE
(looking around)
"ya'll seen enough yet"?

JAKE turns around and walks out slamming the front door.

Racheal walks back into the kitchen.

GETTY
(to a waitress)
"Table for six please".

WAITRESS
"Sure, right this way please."

INT. HADDAWAYS RESTERAUNT - DAY

RACHEAL walks up to the table GETTY and his friends are
sitting at to take their order.

20.

RACH
"Hi. Look Im really sorry about
that scene earlier".

GETTY
(smiling)
"It was really no problem. I know
how irrate some customers can be."

RACH
"Well he wasnt exactly a
customer."

GETTY
"No? A friend of yours."

RACH
(hesitating)
"Well actually, it was my ex
boyfriend."

GETTY
"Oh I see."

RACH
(laughing)
"Well thanks anyway, its not every
day a hero comes along and saves
the day."

RACHEAL looks embarresed at what she just said.

GETTY
"Well pardon my manners. My name
is Romero Getty . You can just
call me Getty. These are my
associates."

He points around the table introducing all his companions.

RACH
(shaking his hand)
"Nice to meet you all, my name is
..."

21.

GETTY
"Racheal, yes we know already."

RACH
(confused)
"How did you know my name"?

A woman at the table laughs.

GETTY points at RACHEALS name tag on her waitress uniform
and smiles.

RACH
(laughing)
"Oh my god, Im so embarrased."

EXT. ALLEYWAY - BEHIND HADDAWAYS - NIGHT

RACHEAL exits the side door of HADDAWAYS and proceeds to
walk down the alley towards the parking lot behind the
resteraunt.

She is looking through her purse for the keys when all of a
sudden she comes to dead stop and looks around.

She starts walking again and seconds later she jumps when
she hears what sounds like a lid on a dumpster slamming.

RACH turns around and looks fearfully, then begins walking
faster this time.

She turns around but there is nothing there. She keeps
walking finally finding her keys.

There is loud crashing sound that startles her.

RACHEAL goes to put the key in the door but the lock appears
to be superglued.

POV changes to the eyes of someone walking towards RACHEAL
through the alleyway.

22.

POV switches back to RACHEAL fumbling nervously through her
purse for something.

POV changes back to the UNdiisclosed character coming at her
faster now until only a few feet away.

POV switches back to Racheal she has a lighter burning the
superglue away.

She finally gets the key in, opens the door and jumps in the
car.

someone slams up against the car door and starts hitting the
windows.

We see that it is JAKE NICHOLS he has a crazy look in his
eye.

RACHEAL hurriedly puts the key in the ignition and starts
the car up.

JAKE (HITTING THE WINDOWS)
(screaming)
Open the godamn door.

RACH
(Screaming)
Leave me the fuck alone.

JAKE continues to pund on the car like a madman.

JAKE
Will you just talk to me for one
second?

The car starts and RACHEAL pulls away without looking back.

JAKE dissapears into the background raving like a madman.

We see JULIA coming out of the resteraunt with a shocked
look on her face.

RACHEAL slams on the breaks and lets her in the car.

They speed away.

23.

INT. JULIAS CAR - NIGHT

JULIA looks at RACHEAL like shes gone crazy.

JULIA
What in the hell was that all
about?

INT. POLICE STATION - DAY

A policeman enters the police station with JAKE in handcuffs
and leads him into CRAVENS office.

They sit JAKE down at a chair in front of CRAVENS desk.

JAKE
(mad)
This is bullshit.

CRAVEN
Now youll just sit there and not
speak until spoken to if you know
whats good for ya, son.

JAKE
Im not your son and I havent done
anything wrong.

CRAVEN
Weve had quite a run of the mill
with your name lately Mr Nichols.
Two disturbances in one day. What
happened to you Jake you used to
be such a good kid. You coulda
played pro football everyone from
here to Carbondale knew your name
but I guess you let the streets
get to ya. Well I guess its all
catchin up with ya now. Guess your
father wasnt around to bust ya ass
in shape like he shoulda.

24.

JAKE
(annoyed)
Fuck you, Craven.

CRAVEN
Fuck me? no no son it looks like
you are the one whos fucked.

CRAVEN pulls a file out of his desk opening it up on the
table.

            CRAVEN
      (flipping through
       files)
Lets see here. Possesion of
narcotics, assault with a deadly
weapen, Domestic disturbance. All
in the last two years.

You on parole son?

JAKE
(sarcastic)
Yes sir.

CRAVEN
Well I dont know how you squirmed
your ass off the hook so easy but
a condition of your parol is that
you will not disturb the peace of
others. So if i see or hear about
you going anywhere near Racheal
Harris your ass will be right back
in there, were you should be.

JAKE
(angry)
Is that what this is about? That
bitch, she called you?

Jake stands up.

25.

CRAVEN
Now you just sit your little fanny
down on that seat bucko. You arent
goin nowhere.

JAKE sits back down.

CRAVEN
Seems you
Threatened her at work, superglued
her locks shut and
attacked her vehicle.

JAKE
(shocked)
What the fuck? That bitch is
crazy.

CRAVEN
I sense a little hositility on the
homefront here. But the thing that
really chaps my ass is a few
witnesses claimed to have seen you
a couple blocks down from Archies
tavern the night Kayla Westvig was
murdered and also another witness
claims to have seen you in a bar
near where KARLA HILL was found
murdered the same night. Seems
some bouncers had to throw you out
of the bar that night for
attempting to assualt a women.

Jake gets a nervous look on his face and looks around.

CRAVEN
Now why dont ya tell me what you
know about that?

26.

JAKE
(scared)
THis is crazy shit Craven. Your
trying to set me up. Nu uh it aint
happenin. I dont know what the
fuck your talkin about.

JAKE starts roaming around the room nervously.

JAKE
Fuck you man I want to talk to my
lawyer before I say another word.

            CRAVEN
      (motioning to the
       policemen)
Get him.

Two policemen contain Jake and handcuff him.

CRAVEN
Take him to holding.

The two policemen escort JAKE out of CRAVENS office.

CRAVEN has an evil grin on his face.

CRAVEN
Stupid fuckin kid.

INT. RACHEALS BEDROOM - DAY

RACHEAL is sitting on her bed crosslegged playing with her
dog. THe phone rings.

            RACH
      (picking up the
       phone)
Hello?

27.

INT. JULIAS BEDROOM - DAY

            JULIA
      (On phone to
       Racheal)
Girl its time to Paaarty.

INT. INFERNO CLUB - NIGHT

RACHEAL and JULIA enter into the Inferno CLub dressed to
impress with theyre hair did up, full makeup and black
miniskirts.

They look around. All of a sudden CAL PERONA walks up to
them.

CAL
(kissing her hand)
Hello Racheal, lookin good.

RACH
(laughing)
Hi, Cal right?

CAL
awww, you remembered my name.

Cal turns towards Julia looking her up and down seductivly.

CAL
(spellbound)
And who is this lovely Goddess of
the night?

RACH
This is my friend Julia.

            CAL
      (jokingly, over
       loud music)
who Julio?

RACH
(laughing out loud)
Noooo JULIA.

28.

            CAL
      (still staring at
       Julia)
Ohhh Julia. Youll have to excuse
my ears. Julia, such a lovely name
just rolls right off the tongue.

Julia is smiling ear to ear and seems to be the only one
impressed by CALS flirtatious beckonings.

RACH
So is Getty around somewhere?

            CAL
      (not taking his
       attention away
       from julia)
Yeah hes somewhere around.

RACH
Oook than. I guess ill leave you
two alone.

CAL and JULIA our lost in eachothers gaze and dont even
notice that RACHEAL has left.

MAny mens eyes are glued to RACHEAL as she walks across the
dance floor towards to the bar.

A man tries to grind seductivly up against her but she just
smiles and brushes him off.

RACHEAL sits down at the bar.

The bartender comes up to her instantly.

BARTENDER
What'll it be miss?

RACH
Oh, im just waiting for someone.

BARTENDER
Huh?

29.

            RACH
      (screaming over
       the music)
I said im waiting for someone.

BARTENDER
well, goodluck.

A middle aged man with no hair and crooked teeth sittng next
to RACHEAL smiles at her.

RACH
Racheal halfway smiles back at him
nervously then quickly looks away.

RACHEAL begins looking around the bar for GETTY.

She sees JULIA and CAL on the dance floor looking like
idiots. She looks at her watch.

            RACH
      (motioning to the
       bartender)
Excuse me bartender. Do you happen
to know of a guy that goes by the
name of Getty that comes in here?

The bartender is scrubbing a glass. He looks at her and
chuckles.

BARTENDER
Well yeah. He only owns the place.

RACH
Oh ok, do you know where I can
find him at?

BARTENDER
Yeah sure, he's right there.

RACH
Right where?

GETTY sits down on the other bar stool next to RACHEAL.

30.

BARTENDER
(laughing)
Right next to you.

RACHEAL turns to her left and sees GETTY.

GETTY
Well hello there.

RACH
(embarrased)
Oh my god i didnt see you there.

GETTY
(smiling)
Well here I am.

Moment of silence as RACHEAL struggles for words.

            GETTY
      (breaking the
       silence)
Would you like a drink?

RACH
Umm, yeah sure, that sounds great.
Ill have a Budlight.

GETTY
(to bartender)
A beer woman huh? Let me get two
Bulight bottles Mick.

INT. INFERNO CLUB-BATHROOM - NIGHT

RACHEAL is looking at herself in the mirror. Scanning her
face looking for any flaws.

            RACH
      (talking to
       herself)
He must think im a total idiot.

Just as RACHEAL says this the door to the bathroom closes
and there stands JULIA.

31.

JULIA
Racheal its not healthy to talk to
mirrors.

Julia runs to one of the stalls and enters it.

JULIA
I gotta peeeeeee.

RACHEAL, still in front of the mirror.

JULIA
So what the hell is wrong with
you? Why are you in here, when you
got that hot ass hunk of man meat
out there, waiting for you?

RACH
I dont know. Julia do you think im
pretty?

JULIA
Oh my god, honey, if i was into
girls, id be going down on you
right now.

RACH
(laughing)
Oh ok, well thanks.

JULIA comes out of the stall, arranging her clothes.

RACH
So, what do you see in this Cal
guy? Isnt he a little old for you?

JULIA
(laughing)
Bank rolls baby. And besides, he
has a big cock.

RACH
Oh my god, you didnt?

32.

JULIA
Hell no, Im not a whore. He let me
touch it on the dance floor?

RACH
He let you touch it? Oh how
generous of him.

JULIA
He is a really cool guy.

RACH and JULIA exit the restroom.

INT. INFERNO CLUB - NIGHT

CAL is waiting outside the ladies restroom. All three start
walking back towards the bar. CAL and JULIA fall behind
RACHEAL.

Suddenly she runs into someone. She catches her balance and
begins walking again.

She looks out onto the dancefloor and sees JAKE coming
towards her through the crowd. He is mean mugging her and
picking up his tempo. Then we notice that he has a
switchbalde in his right hand.

RACHEAL, fear in her eyes, turns around quickly bumping into
someone again.
This time it is Getty.

GETTY
Whats wrong RACHEAL, everything
o.k.?

RACH
Its Jake.

GETTY
Jake?

RACH
My ex boyfriend, He was just
walking towards me.

33.

GETTY
RACHEAL ive been right behind you
this whole time I did not see him
anywhere. Turn around, and see for
youself.

RACHEAL slowly turns her head. Everything looks normal. No
sign of Jake anywhere.

RACH
I think I should go home now.

GETTY
Well your friend over there looks
like shes havin to much fun to
leave. Why dont you let me give
you a ride.

INT. RACHEALS BEDROOM - NIGHT

RACHEAL is laying on her bed sleeping. Tense music plays as
we hear a door slam, downstairs of the house.

RACHEAL opens her eyes. We hear something that sounds like
someone hitting the walls downstairs. Then a door slams.

We hear a woman scream downstairs.

RACHEAL jumps out of her bed and dashes through her bedroom
door and down the stairs.

INT. RACHEALS HOUSE - NIGHT

As she tears down the stairs into the hallway we see JAKE
with a knife in his hand he has RACHEALS mother held by the
throat strangling her. He stabs her in the gut with the
knife. Blood dripping on the carpet. He pulls the knife out
and stabs her again.

RACH
(Sceaming)
Daaaaaaaddy !

34.

RACHEAL looks down to the floor near her parents bedroom
door and sees her fathers lifeless body laying in a pool of
his own blood.

JAKE lets RACHEALs mother go and her limp body collapses
onto the floor near her husbands body.

The knife is dripping with blood.

JAKE turns towards RACHEAL and starts coming towards her
with a sinister grin.

RACHEAL takes a step back everytime JAKE takes a step
towards her.

Tears are rolling down in her eyes.

She turns the corner into the kitchen and just collapses to
the floor in tears.

INT. RACHEALS BEDROOM - NIGHT

RACHEAL suddenly wakes up. She is back in her bedroom,
laying on her bed.

She notices it was all nightmare.

INT. JULIAS HOUSE - DAY

RACHEAL is at JULIAS house. RACHEAL is in the bathroom
applying makeup for theyre dates tonight. JULIA is right
outside the bathroom.

RACH
It was so real Julia.

JULIA
It was just a nightmare. A very
fucked up one at that, but still
it was not real.

RACH
I cant get it out of my head.

35.

JULIA
RACHEAL you really dont think JAKE
is capable of something like that
do you. I mean he does have his
issues, but, I think he is
harmless.

RACH
Of course I dont think hed hurt
me. But I dont understand why ive
been having these terrible
nightmares and he is always in
them.

JULIA
I think this is just what you need
Rach, a night out on the town. I
think once Getty gets here you
will forget all about Jake.

RACHEAL still applying her makeup. Both women are silent for
several moments.

RACHEAL is looking at the television with a look of utter
shock.

JULIA
(frantic)
Oh my god, Racheal get out here.

RACHEAL comes running out of the bathroom.

RACH
What?! Whats wrong?!

RACHEAL freezes as she looks at the television.

            NEWSCASTER
      (on the television)
Mr Nichols was a prime suspect in
a string of serial murders that
has plagued the north side of
Chicago in the last week. Again
Jake Nichols, 22, was found dead,
in his home this morning, of an
apparent suicide. He had been
            (MORE)

36.

NEWSCASTER (cont'd)
released by the court earlier in
the day. No continuing statements
are available at the present time.

Tears form in Racheals eyes. She covers her face with her
hands.

JULIA hugs her.

JULIA
Im so sorry Rahceal!

RACH
(crying)
I need to go home.

RACH
But what about Cal and Getty
theyre gona be here any minute.

RACH
Just go without me.

Racheal motions towards the door.

JULIA
Are you gona be ok Rach?

RACH
Yeah, I just need some rest.

Racheal opens the front door to the apartment.

Getty and Cal are standing there.

GETTY
(concerned)
Racheal, are you ok?

RACH
I need to go home. Call me later,
ok ?

Racheal walks down the hallway of the apartment building and
walks down the stairs, leaving Getty standing there
confused.

37.

INT. INFERNO CLUB - NIGHT

Cal and Julia are sitting at the bar. Cal is going on with a
story, while Julia sips her drink.

            RACH
      (falling off the
       barstool)
how many drinks have I had im
feeling a little tipsy.

CAL
Well maybee I could help you
figure that out.

JULIA
Huh?

CAL
I was thinking, you could come to
my place and I could help you with
your math skills.

JULIA
(laughing)
Oh yeah? How you gonna do that?

CAL
well first we can add the bed,
subtract our clothing, divide your
legs and than multiply.

JULIA
there are three kinds of people in
the world, people who can count
and people who cant.

Julia looks across the room and notices Getty talking to an
attractive woman.

Getty puts his arm around the woman and they disappear into
Gettys office.

Julia looks on in amazement.

38.

CAL
Whats wrong with you?

JULIA
Oh, nothing.

INT. RACHEALS BEDROOM - NIGHT

Racheal is laying in her bed.

Her mother knocks on the door.

RACH
Come in.

Racheals mom walks into the room and kneels down beside her
bed.

DIANE (MOTHER)
Racheal hunny, I know
communication isnt to great around
here right now, but your father
and I wanted to let you know that
we are if you ever need to talk to
us.

RACH
Thanks mom.

Racheals mother brushes her fingers through Racheals hair.

RACH
I cant believe Jake is dead.

DIANE (MOTHER)
Well baby, noone forced him to do
what he did. He gave up on
himself. If he was innocent then
he woulda made it through all of
this.

RACH
I just cant imagine why he would
want to kill anyone.

39.

RACH
I mean I was so attached to Getty
that i guess I just gave up on
Jake.

RACH
You cant blame yourself honey. You
can only do so much for someone.

RACH
Yeah, I know.

DIANE (MOTHER)
Well Ill let you get some sleep
Rach. I think sleep is your best
bet right now.

RACH
ok night mom.

Diane kisses Racheals forehead and turns the light off.

RACH
Mom?

DIANE (MOTHER)
Yes?

RACH
Thanks.

INT. INFERNO CLUB - NIGHT

Getty sitting in a dark room. We can only see his face,
illuminated by candlelight.

He picks up the telephone and dials a number.

INT. RACHEALS BEDROOM - NIGHT

Racheal is laying in her bed sleeping. The phone keeps
ringing. Each ring gets quiter and more distant. The ringing

40.

finally fades out.

All is quiet.

All of a sudden a rock hits Racheals window.

Racheal opens one eye.

Everything is quiet again.

Another rocks hits the window this time almost cracking the
glass.

Racheal gets out of her bed and slowly makes her way towards
the window.

She slowly pulls the shade up and looks out the window.

There is Jake, illuminated under the streetlight. Eyes black
as night. He stares up to the window at her, blankly.

Racheal has a horrified look on her face.

RACH
This is just a dream. This is just
a dream.

Racheal turns away from the window.

RACH
This is just a dream.

As Racheal turns around.

Jake is now in her room. Standing next to her bed.

His eyes are black and lifeless.
Clothes torn and tattered.
Blood smeared all over his pale white skin.

Racheal screams

Jake walks towards her slowly lifting his hand to her.

41.

JAKE
Racheal Help me.

RACH
Go away. This is not real.

RACH
Racheal its so cold down there.

Tears are forming in Racheals eyes.

JAKE
Racheal, you never help me.

Jake begins choking on something.

Racheal steps back.

Jake opens his mouth and worms crawl out .

Racheal screams loudly.

All of a sudden the bedroom door swings open and there is
Racheals dad.

DAN (FATHER)
Racheal, what in gods name is
going on in here.

RACH
Nothing dad, just a nightmare.

DAN (FATHER)
Well ok just wanted to make sure
everything was allright. You get
some sleep now. Everything will be
fine.

RACH
ok goodnight dad.

Racheal sits down on her bed.

She tries to control her heavy breathing.

42.

All of a sudden, We see a scared look on her face again.

There on her bedroom floor is a pile of live worms crawling
around in the carpeting.

INT. INFERNO CLUB - DAY

Racheal walks up to Getty at the bar.

He is talking the bartender.

He looks annoyed that Racheal is there.

RACH
(angry)
Can I speak with you for a minute?

GETTY
Yeah, sure. Whats up?

FADE OUT.

Feedback

From Jn4Kel	Date 4/15/2005
This was totally awesome, and I look forward to reading more!!!!

From Cayleigh	Date 4/15/2005
This was an awsome beginning to an even better script, and for once I agree with S.M.. The dialogue was so down to earth, so real and believable. It was awesome so far, keep writing more, I want to read more!!! :-) ;-)

From S.M. Krause	Date 4/14/2005
Many hate my reviews because I'm honest. However, this is a script that delivers and you can't complain. Powerful character development mixed into a story that delivers, as well dialogue that is tastefully written. Kudos for a horror script that delivers a good intesed notion when reading. This is the one to read and look out for.

Leave Feedback

You must be logged in to leave feedback.

Home My Account Products Screenwriter Community Screenwriter's Corner Help