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first draft
by Allan Palmer (thepartyboypbk@yahoo.co.uk)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ***
Two guys argue a point. Short film screenplay.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

INT. BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
Two men are sitting in BEDROOM watchin T.V. The first man
ALLAN is sitting on a CHAIR close to the T.V. The other man
PETE is laying on a BED. ALLAN is smoking a FAG casualy
intently watching T.V. Suddenly PETE starts cluching at his
chest, and his face shows a high degree of pain.
                                                            
                       ALLAN
      (slowly turning
       his head showing
       little real
       intrest)
Whats the matter
                                                            
                       PETE
      (Wrighing around
       in pain)
My...heart...it's burning...oh
shit it hurts.
                                                            
                       ALLAN
Whats the matter with it.
                                                            
                       PETE
I'm guessing ...it's... heart burn
ALLAN...oh man...its.. arghh ..
                                                            
                       ALLAN
Anything I can do?
                                                            
                       PETE
No...I NEED SOME RENNIE!...ARH...
                                                            
The door flies open a few seconds later and a pack of RENNIE
swores through the air and smack PETE in the head.
                                                            
                       PETE
OWW!...THANKS MUM!
                                                            
PETE precedes to rip open the packet of RENNIE and starts
devowering the whole pack.
                                                            
                       ALLAN
      (Slowly turns his
       head again to
       look at PETE.)
You shouldn't eat all of them like
that.
                                                            

2.

                       PETE
      (A puzzled face)
Why not?
                                                            
                       ALLAN
You'll O.D.
                                                            
                       PETE
      (Blank expression)
On RENNIE?
                                                            
                       ALLAN
Yeah.
                                                            
                       PETE
      (still in some
       pain)
Please tell me, how can you o.d on
rennie
                                                            
                       ALLAN
I saw it on T.V. once. A little
kid got into his MUM's medicine
cupboard
                                                            
ALLAN takes a drag of his fag.
                                                            
                       ALLAN
and ate a load of RENNIE thinking
they where sweets...they found him
on the floor...
                                                            
                       PETE
      (With a sigh)
And?
                                                            
                       ALLAN
His stomch had exploded.
                                                            
                       PETE
      (After a long
       pause)
Bollocks.
                                                            
                       ALLAN
      (More serious)
What do you mean bollocks? It was
on 999 with Michael Burke.
                                                            
                       PETE
      (Sarcastic)
Oh so it MUST be true.
                                                            

3.

                       ALLAN
Look we've already had a dispute
about the true facts displayed on
999 and about the harms of over
indulgence of over the counter
medical products and you looked
like a fool when I proved you
wrong and you don't want to look
like a fool again do you?
                                                            
PETE looks at ALLAN like he's just sodimised his sister in
front of him and his family.
                                                            
                       PETE
YOU PROVED SHIT!
                                                            
ALLAN, now very serious so serious in fact that he's muted
the T.V., turns and looks at PETE with a wided eyed
expression.
                                                            
                       ALLAN
      (Angry tone)
How Dare you! I put my body on the
line to prove my point!
                                                            
                       PETE
You are talking about the CALPOL
thing aren't you? Because if you
are I stand by my statement that
you proved shit!
                                                            
                       ALLAN
I can't belive you! You saw with
your own eyes the effects!
                                                            
                       PETE
No...you told me about a 999
reconstrucion and having not seen
that episode I said it wasn't true
and you overreacted....
                                                            
 
EXT. STREET - DAY
                                                            
PETEs walking down the street making his way to ALLAN's
house.
                                                            
                       PETE
      (V.O.)
You swore blind that if you drink
a whole bottle of CALPOL you'll...
                                                            

4.

                       ALLAN
      (V.O.)
Turn purple.
                                                            
                       PETE
      (V.O.)
Right...so you left that night and
told me to come round in the
morning which I did.
                                                            
PETE enters a forecourt and rings a doorbell.
                                                            
                       PETE
Then you open the door.
                                                            
The front door opens to reveal ALLAN,He's purple from head
to toe. He's wearing his dressing gown and a big, wide, smug
smile.
                                                            
                       PETE
Standing there like a big purple
twat.
                                                            
 
INT. BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
We come back to the room.
                                                            
                       ALLAN
Yeah so I proved it didn't I?
                                                            
                       PETE
No, because upon entering your
house I soon discovered a pot of
purple face paint you must have
forgotten to hide as I'd made it
top priority to be at your house
as early as possible hence rushing
you to one; hide the evidence and
two; to paint your self properly.
                                                            
                       ALLAN
What do you mean?
                                                            
                       PETE
I mean your paint job was rushed
and half assed. You didn't even
paint your hands.
                                                            
                       ALLAN
I didn't paint anything! You're
just a bad loser!
                                                            

5.

                       PETE
You're such an idiot.
                                                            
                       ALLAN
Just shut up and drink your drink
brew we've got to be at the pub in
ten minuites.
                                                            
                       PETE
Can I drink while I'm eating
RENNIE? Or did you watch a 999
special RENNIE AND ALCOHOL THE
DEVILS MIX?
                                                            
                       ALLAN
No thats on tomorrow.
                                                            
PETE slowly drains is drink and ALLAN goes back to the T.V.
Theres silence as the two carry on with what their doing
then...
BANG!!! PETE EXPLODES AND WE FADE OUT ON A SHOCKED ALLAN
WITH A FAG DANGLING RAY STANCE STYLE.


THE END
                                                            


FADE OUT.


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From ALLAN Date 11/13/2005 ****
Amazing

From Larry Boodry Date 9/9/2005 **
While the ending made me laugh, the rest just left me puzzled... (My girlfriend, bless her heart, would probably say that's my natural state, but never mind.)

From Sean Elwood Date 8/13/2005 ***1/2
Oh my gosh I love the ending. It's so funny. I like those kind of things when someone asks if a certain TV show is coming on and they're like "No that comes on later tonight" or something like that. Great screenplay. Try and make it a little longer, or (like Andrew said) make more screenplays with the same characters like Pete survives the explosion or something.

From Andrew S. Daurelle Date 8/12/2005 ***1/2
Keep up the good work. I'd like to see more of these, with the same characters. I take it Allan was named after you.

From Paul Ranck Date 8/11/2005 **1/2
This was somewhat intersting, it has a funny ending and if you improve some of the dialouge in the beginning it could be quite good.


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