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The Smith Show
by Lemarze (lemarzej@yahoo.com)

Rated: PG   Genre: Comedy   User Review:

This is more of an sitcome then a movie I might change the name to the smith family and this is just a rough draft of the show. When I get the finale draft all put that up and you can compare it to this one and I hope you enjoy it.

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



Destiny is in the bed Talking to James about Angel's and
Jr.s birthday, She is also letting him know about Jr's
report card. James is half way dressed getting ready for
work listening to her.
      (Going over to the
       bed and kissing
       her and waking
Good morning. you better wake up
you gotta get the kids up and
ready for school and get your self
to work.
      (In a groggy wake
       up voice.)
The kids are old enough to get
there self up for school and
unlike you I take advantage of
owning my business I don't go to
work until eleven.
      (Walking away
       putting on his
Yeah well if you don't wake Jr. up
you know his main excuse would
be,well nobody woke me up.
      (setting up in the
       bed and grabbing
       Jr.'s report card)
Speaking of Jr. I want to show you
something but only on one
Whats that.


That you will not let this effect
his birthday present like you did
last year.
Last year I caught the in a smog
of smoke smoking weed in my brand
new benz with like four his
friends the day before his
Thats still no excuse to let that
effect angel not haveing a car
Honey it's Jr. if angel get's a
car he will find a way to
blackmale her and let him use the
Just promise wont effect there
birthday please.
Alright I promise.
Well yesterday the kids
reportcards came in the mail and
they where all good except for
one, and I dont think I have to
tell you who that one is.
      (Taking the
Damn how the hell do you fail gym.
So what are you going to do.
You know what I say three out of
four aint bad.


Well what you want me to do about
it destiny I mean you usally
handle the school part.
      (Getting out of
       the bed helping
       her husband put
       on his tie)
as you can see I never get threw
to him, I mean the boy's seem to
be more on point when you give
order than I do and I just think
if you dont help him now he may
never graduate and if he does'nt
graduate he'll never move out.
      (Leaving out while
I'll go talk to the boy.
James is going in to jr's room to talk to him about his
report card, Jr. is a seelp at first and dosetn notice that
his father is at the door.
      (Knocking at Jr,s
       door and geting
       no answer.)
Jr.! Jr! It's your father open up
      (Sleeping and
       snoring very loud
       while his fahter
       is calling his
      (Opens up the with
       a discuted look
       on his face as he
       looks around at
       the mess in his
       room and he walks
       over the pail of
       cloths to his


                       JAMES (cont'd)
       son's bed and he
       screams in his
      (Jumping out his
       bed falling on
       floor as he is
       wokein up by his
Dad what are you doing dont you
know that im still a growing boy i
need my beauty sleep.
      (He rubs his eyes
       and shakes his
       head and get back
       on the bed
       seating next to
       his father.)
Don't you mean dumb ass sleep.
      (Looking around at
       the mess in the
Now son don't you have a closet
and garbage can or is that what im
looking at here on the floor.
Dad its easier for me to find my
things with room like this i fill
like im better situated.
      (He puts a big
       goofy grin on his
Yeah you make sure im there when
you tell your mother that.
      (Handing jr. the
       report card)
Do you know what this is here.
      (with a smart look
       on his face)
An imporvement.


as sad as it is to say it is.
      (getting and
       pacing around.)
I mean this is an improvement for
you but not for me and your mother
jr., three C's Two D's and an F,
and what make's that so bad is
that the f is in gym, now how the
hell do fail gym. I mean when I
was in school all you had to do
was get dressed and show up.
Its pretty much the same thing at
are school.
Oh so you saying that you didn't
show up.
I mean dad you know how it is when
the girlies got somthing better
planed for you
      (giggling and
       nugging his
      (Giggling back
       then push him on
       the bed.)
Boy you better get act togethier,
comeing at me with some lame
excuse like that.
      (Pulling up a seat)
Have you ever thought about what
you wanna be or do after you get
out of school cuase lets face it.
you in the 11th grade your turnin
seventeen I think college is
pretty much out the window unless
you make an major improvement
really quick.
C'mon pop I know exactly what I
wanna be when I get I school.
You do that's greart! what


      (Standing up
       making poses)
Im gone be a gangsta rapper.
      (Walking around
       the room with
       pimp walk while
       father is looking
       at him
Yeah im straight from the streets
im gone be rollin with 50 cent and
im gone be apart of the
GGGGGGG-Unit Haha.
      (Slapping his son
       in the Back of
       the head.)
Boy you better GGGGGGet your act
      (Leaving the room.)
You think be a gangsta rapper!
Negro you live in beverly hills.
Get yo ass ready for school and
walk the mean streets of beverly
Kesha is at the kitchen table with angel eatin breakfest.
The rest of the family comes into the kitchen as everyone is
dressed and ready to start thier day.
      (Eating breakfest
       at the table with
       her big sister)
Goodmoring daddy.
      (Walking into the
Morning baby girl.
Daddy I need you to take me to get
my physical this weekend
basketball tryout's are on monday.


      (At the table
       eating breakfest)
Basketball Try Out. Little girl
you are a frshmen in high you
better that little boyish
mentality back in middle school
and become a cheerleader like your
big sister.
Didn't you become a cheerleader
because you got cut from the
fresmen basketball team.
I didn't get cut I quite twon boy.
      (Drinking some
       orange jucie)
A ya'll cut that out. kesha I'll
pick you and take you first thing
after school.
      (Walking into the
Take her where.
To get her physical for basketball
Oh no basketball tryout's dont you
think it's for you to take
something more lady like now that
your in high school.
      (Getting up
       walking towards
       her father)
Look will talk about this later.
(Jr. and jalen walk into the Kitchen.)


      (getting up fromt
       the kitchen
Dad mom before you go I want to
let you know I want tomorrow for
our birthday.
Our birthday a just because where
twins dosent mean we have to share
presents I already know dads
getting me a car.
      (Putting his arm
       around his father
Yeah just don't roll blunt while
he's given you key's this time.
You two stop that.
What do want us get you angel.
Well it's kinda a combination of
Well whats this combination of
Just a tounge a belly button ring
and a tatto.
Oh so you want mom and dad to turn
you into a hoe for your birthday.
You rather have that then a car, I
thought I was supposed to be the
stupid one in the family.
      (Walking out side
       to the car with
       the boy's.)
Jalen, Jr, kesha. let's meet your


                       DESTINY (cont'd)
sister in the car where gonna
leave this one up to your father.
Your not getting a tatto
O.K. what about the other stuff.
your not getting any of it.
Why not mom got a tatto. she had a
tounge and I think she have a
belly button ring.
(Phone ringing)
      (Going to answer
       the phone.)
Dont give me That.
      (Answering the
Honey um I know you going throw
your little thin with angel but I
forgot to tell you my cousin kelly
is moving in today, and mother is
coming over for dinner.
Wow! what a picnic of a day this
is turning out to be I think I'll
have along day at work.
Stop joking and send angel out
before the kids are late for
Alright She on her way out.
Daddy please!
O.K. Look take all day give me
think about and give me one good


                       JAMES (cont'd)
reason why i should let and i'll
take all day think about and give
100 great reason why not.
Daddy thats not fair a thats all
im given u so you better take
yourself to school and thinkg
cause you know my mind is filled
up with knowledge
      (Leaving the house
       with his
      (eating at the
       lunch table with
       Michael and Jr.)
So guy's what up tonight are we
going to lindsey's skating party
or what.
No can do im having birthday
dinner with my family tonight so
that angel and I can do what want
tomorrow I thought we could hook
up than.
Wait so you trying say you not
going lindsy the bad white girl in
this school and everybody gone be
there im your boy but you can
count me out I think im on a
mission tonight.
Why do you call it a mission your
right hands a sure thing any way.
Look you two just go to the party
tonight im not trying to do
anythin to jepordize me getting my
car this year.


Yeah that was pretty stupid
smoking in your dads car the day
before your birthday.
Yeah you a fool for that one.
Man it was your idea.
Hi Jr.
Whats up lindsay.
Nothing I heard it was your
birthday tomorrow and I was
wondering if you wheere going to
be at my skating party tonight
because I had a very very bithday
present that I wanted to give you.
      (In a high pitch
       vocie .)
Look I cant come tonight Im having
dinner with my family and have to
be there. SO how about tomorrow.
How about next period.
Cool. I'll meet you down stairs by
the elevators.
dont be late because trust me you
wont regret it.
Mike and Jr. give each other an high five both saying yes!
you the man.


Thats just sick.
So did you tell your evil angry
husband that im moving in today.
He dose not mine. oh by the are
you bringing the kids.
No I figur I leave at my mother's
until everthing get situated. I
mean it's kinda of hard to explain
to them that there father is a
lieing cheating bum!
More of a bum then he is the other
two things.
You got that right.
Phone rining the phone is right next to kelly she setting
eating her chips like she dosent here it.
I guess I'll get i mean you are
busy eating chips.
Thanks girl I appreciate that.
Hello destiny hair style's destiny
speaking how may help. Yes this
her. What! oh my god. O.K I'll be
there in a minute.
What's worng.
Jr. strikes again
did the boy get caught smokin
again. eitheir he needs a new


                       KELLY (cont'd)
techniuqe or you all need get in
No he wasn't smoking. He got
caught having sex in school.
Thats a very active boy that ya'll
got there.
Look can you just do me a favor
and pick up Jalen and Angel you
dont have to worry about kesha
because her father taking to get
her physical.
Hey Kelly where's mom.
She had some business to take care
of with your brother. Where's
He went with dad and kesha.
So seventeen I remeber when I was
seventeen five eight years ago.
um kelly your 33
A now that im single again thats
between me and you O.k.
Yeah whatever you say.
you i didnt even get you a
birthday present yet.


You didnt
Na I guess I really havent had
much time you know with the
seperation and all but i was going
to try and get around to getting
it before the dinner.
You know why dont we go right. I
know exactly what I want pluse Im
already gonna get so many other
surprise's tonight and it just be
a waste of time to go home and
come way back out to look for
something that your not sure that
i want or some one else has got me
Well I guess you make sense I dont
see the trouble that. Lets go for
Man everybody talkin about you,
you the man.
What's going to happen to you.
I don't know they called my mother
She's in there talkin to the
princeple right now.
well where is lindsay.
She already went home with her
Oh no you don't think this gone
effect the skateing party tonight
do you.


Man that's the last thing im
worried about right now what am I
gone do about my car.
Shh! Shh! here come your mom.
      (Looking around
       dumb founded then
       starts talking to
Hi Mrs. Smith its very nice to see
you is there any thing me and
jamiee can do for you.
You both can go home mike.
And that's exactly what we where
about to do let's go
      (Pulling him out
       of the office)
What the hell is worng with you.
All me and your father want to do
is celebrate the day of your birth
knowing than in age your matureing
not doing everthing against are
Look I know Mom but she said that
she had a surprise for a surprise
for me A Surprise!
Well your father is going to have
a Surprise for that ass when he
finds about this.
No Mom dont dad if you tell him
than thats gonna jepordize mines
and kesha's birthday please.
alright but we going to have to
tell him on sunday because your
suspended for two days and for
those two day's you ever he got
for your birthday you wont use.


Boy dont kiss me i dont know where
your lips been.
Yes ha thank yo mommy.
      (Kissing his
       mother on the
Kelly is sitiing in The Living room watching T.V. as James,
Kesha, Jalen and buddy Walks in.
Kelly after six years of mariage
you ended up here..
James, after seventeen years of
marriage your still an asshole.
It's 7 O'clock what took you guy's
so long to get home from a
Well daddy said he was proud of me
for sticking to something and
really being dedcatited to
basketball so he took us out to
Yeah we where celebrating that the
physical showed that she was
actually a girl, I was shocked my
You two go up stairs and get ready
for dinner.
Wait a minute you already ate, how
could you do that destiny's having
this big dinner catered over.


Look I know I know aliright well
just eat very smaal portion of the
food and save some for later, I
mean there seven people living in
this house now im sure someone
will eat it.
Door bell rings and James answers there door for his friend
Hey whats going on buddy.
Nothing man I just can't wait tell
give your kids my gift's, but let
me pre warn you that there joke
gift's but still very useful.
Why what did you get them.
It's the element of surprise my
brother so that everyone cna
      (Peeking over
       James shoulder
       checking out
Damn! Who is this man you gone
introduce me to friend.
      (Getting up
       shaking buddy's
Hi, im James cousin by marriage
      (Grabing her hand
       and kissing it
       and talking in a
       deep vocie.)
My name is Buddy, But the ladies
like to call me big sexy.


Why do I think im gonna regret
meeting you.
Door bell ringing this time it's destiny's mother.
      (Giving her a hug
       and a kiss on the
Hey how you doin Lisa.
                       GRANDMA LISA
Oh im doin fine, You know we all
dont live in beverly hills the
least you could have done is order
you mother in-law a limo so that I
wouldn't have to put up with this
hellashis L.A. Traffic.
Oh we just figured that since it's
the kids birthday we do nice
things for them.But kesha birthday
well pimp you out.
                       GRANDMA LISA
So is your kids still runin around
smokin and chokin on thats stuff.
Hey that was year a go destiny and
I have everything under control,
this is a nice quite neabor hood
and we are nice quite neaihbor's.
You know what speaking of destiny
let me go get her before you
decide to completely destroy me
      (Runs up stairs to
       get destiny)
SO how are you doing Auntie lisa.
                       GRANDMA LISA
Better than you I heard you
divorced that boy and aint neither
one of yeah gone keep that house.
      (Going to sit back
       onb the couch.)
Where not gettin a divorce where


                       KELLY (cont'd)
gettin seperated, and I fill like
completely nothing right now.
                       GRANDMA LISA
      (Looking at buddy)
Who are you?
My Name is buddy Mam
                       GRANDMA LISA
What do you do?
Im one of the top interviewers at
James's Famouse player Magazine
                       GRANDMA LISA
You live out here in beverly hills
Yes Mam.
                       GRANDMA LISA
      (Signaling and
       point at kelly
       that they should
       hook up.)
      (Coming down the
       staris with james
       beside her.)
Hi mom.
                       GRANDMA LISA
Hey sweety. So did that boy of
yours do something stupid again
this or is he just wating for the
family to be in one place so that
he can have his grand finale.
C'mon you think he's that you
think he's that stupid to mess up
the day before his birthday again
im sure it was on his mind to do
good all day.
Look dinne's ready let's just go
into the dining room and eat and


                       DESTINY (cont'd)
all find somthing to argur about
in there.
The Family is in the dining room eating and haveing
conversation and getting ready to hand out birthday gifts.
                       GRANDMA LISA
So James your mother didn't fill
up to coming to her grandkids 17th
Naw she couldn't make the trip
down she has a lot to do around
this time of year, and I dont
think that she should have to
worry about coming all this way
just for one day so im sure she'll
the kids birthday presents.
                       GRANDMA LISA
I have a lot to do my self and I
Made it a point to be here and
make the trip.
Lisa you live Sunset blvd. My
mother lives in detroit.
                       GRANDMA LISA
      (Changing the
So Kesha how did everthing go with
you at the doctor's for your
Great meaning?
They found out that she was girl.


      (Ignoring her
Great meaning that I can try out
I'm healthy.
                       GRANDMA LISA
Sweety what are trying out for
Cheerleading like your big sister.
No Basketball.
                       GRANDMA LISA
      (Looking at buddy)
This is about to get good.
                       GRANDMA LISA
Honey basketball isn't for 14 year
old girls.
Well if it was'nt why would they
have a team.
Hey good point.
You don't wanna do that playa.
                       GRANDMA LISA
Destiny your going to let this
girl play basketball what if the
other girls in school teas her.
Mom that's what me and james has
been tryin to tell her.
Mom dad don't care if I play
Um you don't have to do that dear.


Oh, and why dosent your father car
if you play basketball.
Cause he was so excited about the
physical he took me out to eat as
an award for actually sticking to
somthing that I like doing for so
James put his hand on his head shaking his head in
Do you beleave that hee took them
out to eat knowing we where going
to have a bg dinner tonight.
      (Looking at
At least will have left over's.
Why is everyone making such a big
deal about this Jalen play's
baskeball and noone has nothing to
say about that.
Um thats because I have the right
equipment to play.
      (Gives Jr. a high
Where there's no women that can
confirm that execpt your mother.
      (Jalen Looking at
A man don't look at me a lot of
girls can confirm my equipment.
Look why don't we just hand out
the present's.
Oh let me start let me start.
      (Getting to get


                       BUDDY (cont'd)
       his bag he hands
       the kids there
      (Opening up her
Why did you get me a thong?
Ah c'mon you all don't think funny
it's joke gift telling welcome to
women hood.
What's funny the fact that a 17
year old girl a thong or that a 35
year old man bought a 17 year girl
a thong.
                       GRANDMA LISA
Is that even leagal
Im affraid to tell you this but
jr. just open yours.
      (Opening up his
       Gift which is a
What am I supposed to do with
You know what you supposed to do
with that. A you got 5 on it.
A thon and a bong. what's the joke
they rhyme.
                       GRANDMA LISA
It's grand Ma's Turn.
      (Getting the gift
       out of her purse.)
Now This is more like for the
whole family as well as you two.
      (Looing at her


                       DESTINY (cont'd)
oh that's nice tickets. to detroit
to see your grandmother.
                       GRANDMA LISA
See I thought that you all can get
together and take a vaction down
to see your grandmother who lives
out of state who dosent take time
out her busy life to come and see
her grand children.
Detroit. You dont go to detroit
for a vaction you go to detroit to
get shot.
Thank you grandma I apprciate.
My turn here you go Jr. Angel told
me this excatly what you'v been
A 50 cent cd.
Man dont you know you dont buy
nobody a cd for there birthday.
you buy them a cd on a tuesday.
                       GRANDMA LISA
Why do they call him 50 cent he
don't think he's worth a dollar.
Where's angel's present.
Oh I already got it.
Where is it we wanna see.


I hope you two arent made me cause
she told me how much you wanted to
give this to her your self but you
didnt have the but Tada.
      (The whole room is
I got her A tounge ring a belly
button ring and a tatto.
Woo! Somebody in trouble.
Why would you get her that stuff.
James well handle it later just
give the kids there present.
before you do what you promised
not to do this morning.
O.K. from your mom and dad I guess
we finally gave in and got you.
      (Jiggling the
       key's int the air)
A car! Yes!
The whole family rushes into the guarge to see the new jeep
that the kids got.
This is nice man.
I dont beleave you got him a car
after he got caught having sex in
Everyone is looking shooked. and James is looking at kesha.
Everyone is leaving and the kids are goin up stairs.


Man I guess your daughter can use
that thong after all.
Yeah about let's try not to spread
anything that happend here at work
Ah c'mon J im your boy your parner
in crim man you know me.
Everybody's going to be laughing
at me when I come in tomoorow
arent they.
A man it's just something ot talk
      (He leave's)
Your Fired!
                       GRANDMA LISA
      (Leaving out the
So a duaghter thats all pirced and
marked up and a son who thinks he
can have sex anywhere in the
world. I wonder witch one will end
up in jail next year.
Bye Mom Call me when you get home.
So this was an interesting night.
Yeah next time you wanna take my
douaghetr to get her body altered
please check with me and my wife.
      (Turning to
Anfd next time our son get's in
trouble please say something.


Alright and enxt time you start
hypeing our duagther to play
basketball you let me know.
Ok where even.
I thought so.
      (Going upstairs.)
Do really have to not let tham use
the car for two weeks, they just
got it.
Hell yeah we had to and if actup
we gone punish yo ass.


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