Screenwriter Community |
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by Destiny (hopwabbit@aol.com)
Rated:
Genre: Family
User Review:
A short about divorce, and how even the most ordinary objects become battle grounds for control.
This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author. 8/25/05
FADE IN:
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INT. BEDROOM - DAY |
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A little girls bedroom.
There is a SUITCASE and various girls clothes scattered on
the bed. A cute little girl is packing. This is LILLIE. She
is moving slow, obviously stalling.
Her father, DUNCAN, enters the room. |
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Lillie shrugs her shoulders.
Duncan starts to help her fold her clothes and pack them. |
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DUNCAN
Everything’s gonna be just fine,
okay? |
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As Duncan is helping his daughter pack, he comes across a
PICTURE. He studies it closely.
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INSERT - PICTURE |
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Picture of Lillie, Duncan, and her mother, Sheila. All three
of them are in a group hug, smiling. |
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BACK TO SCENE |
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DUNCAN
I love this picture. |
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2.
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Duncan packs the picture with the rest of Lillie’s clothes
and then zips up the suitcase.
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Lillie gives a shrug and grabs her favorite doll.
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EXT. DRIVEWAY - DAY |
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Duncan SLAMS the car trunk closed. |
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INT. CAR |
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Lillie is already buckled up in the front seat, staring out
the side window longingly. Duncan gets in the drivers seat
and buckles up.
He starts the car and takes off.
There is an uneasy silence.
Lillie is still staring out the window. Duncan is nervously
searching for something to say, but just can’t find it. He
finally reaches for the radio and turns it on.
He leans back, somewhat relieved that the silence is broken. |
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EXT. SHEILAS’ DRIVEWAY - DAY |
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The car pulls up.
Standing in the opened doorway of her house is Sheila. Her
arms are crossed and she looks like she’d rather be doing
anything else right now.
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INT. CAR |
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Duncan mutters something under his breath. From the look on
his face, it isn’t very positive.
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EXT. DRIVEWAY |
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3.
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Lillie hops out of the car and to her mother. She gives her
a half-hearted hug.
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LILLIE
(Nervously)
Uh huh. |
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INT. CAR |
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Duncan is watching from his seat.
He hasn’t moved.
Lillie turns to him and waves, then bolts inside. Duncan
gives a slight wave after the fact.
Sheila is still standing at the door, arms crossed. The
tension is thick. Duncan backs out of the driveway. As he
is leaving he gives one last GLANCE.
Sheila is still in the doorway, arms crossed.
Driving down the road, Duncan takes a quick look at a
PICTURE he has taped to his dashboard.
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INSERT - PICTURE |
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It is a picture of Duncan holding Lillie the day she was
born.
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BACK TO SCENE |
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Emotions overtake him, and he pulls his car over at a park.
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EXT. CAR |
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All that is heard is Duncan sobbing, and children playing in
the park.
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4.
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INT. CAR |
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Duncan’s cell phone rings. He wipes his eyes and tries to
gather himself.
He doesn't even check the number. He knows who it is. |
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INTERCUT TELEPHONE CONVERSATION - DUNCAN, SHEILA, AND LILLIE |
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SHEILA
(In a very matter
of fact voice)
You forgot her suitcase. |
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DUNCAN
It’s in the trunk. She can just
use it next weekend. |
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SHEILA
Or you can do the right thing and
bring it back. |
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DUNCAN
Or you can not make such a big
deal out of a fucking suitcase. |
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SHEILA
That’s right… now I remember why I
left you. |
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SHEILA
Just you’re an asshole. |
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Duncan slams his cellphone closed.
Almost immediately it rings again.
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DUNCAN
(furiously)
WHAT!?!
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5.
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DUNCAN
Yea sweetie, It’s me. |
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Duncan’s eyes begin to well up. He chokes back the pain and
puts his best “happy voice” on.
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BACK TO SCENE |
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He closes his cell phone and stares at the PICTURE for a
few, brief seconds.
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EXT. CAR |
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The car starts up and heads out of the park.
At the stop sign it pauses for an extra long time, as if
deciding to turn back towards Sheila’s house or to go home.
A BLINKER comes on, and the car heads back towards Sheila’s.
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EXT. SHEILA’S DRIVEWAY - DAY |
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Duncan’s car pulls into the driveway.
The TRUNK pops open, and there is the SUITCASE.
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FADE OUT. |
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Feedback |
From Brian Chidueme |
Date 6/30/2006 |
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Good for a short film, though. Excellent story here. |
From Jeremy Goodall |
Date 10/3/2005 |
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This was very emotion driven. It does a great job of capturing the utter confusion that surrounds a divorce. |
From Greg Baldwin |
Date 9/10/2005 |
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What was this about? I don't get it. I was expecting something mind bending to happen but it never did. It's well written, but I expected alot more. |
From Larry Boodry |
Date 9/2/2005 |
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An excellent story, well told, with well-drawn characters that involve us in their lives right from the start.
(This is of course a good thing, since the story only takes up five pages) I would like to see more of Duncan and Lillie, and even Sheila...What did Duncan do to make her so hostile?
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