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Finding John
by Ezeanyi Ngwe (Ezeanyi@msn.com)

Rated: PG-13   Genre: Comedy   User Review: **1/2
John has the worst day of his life (short).

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



JOHN drives in his car past the important parking spaces
that are steps from the entrance, and keeps going for miles
it seems until he arrives at his space. As soon as he steps
out of the car it beigns to rain.
      (covering his head
       with his suitcase)
This cannot be a good sign
Just then the security guard in his golf cart drives slowly
past him.
      (Jogs towards the
       golf cart)
The golf cart stops.
Hey let me in man, I'm getting
The security guard eases the golf cart forward to stop him
from getting in.
What are you doing?
                       SECURITY GUARD
Sorry sir, only authorized
personnel are allowed in this
JOHN begins walking towards the building, while the security
guard drives staying parralell with JOHN. JOHN enters the
building and the security guard drives off.


Everyone is busy at work until they are distracted by the
wet sound of JOHN walking in. JOHN turns around and looks
through the door noticing that the rain has stopped. John
walks to his desk.
      (shouts out)
I guess John found a new way to
get to work...swimming
The whole office laughs at JOHN.
Don't you have something to do for
Mr. Fritkurt. Like kiss his ass!
JOHN holds his hands out expecting laughter, but all that
happens is a cricket jumps on his desk and crocks. Everyone
goes back to work. JOHN knocks the cricket of his desk and
opens his briefcase.
Listen its not my fault that my
boss likes me more than other
guys. Shoot, I'm gonna use that to
my advantage.
In your relationship or career?
Ohh, by the way the old fruitcake
was looking for you earlier, he
was kind of mad that you weren't
here, he said you were supposed to
give him a report or something?
      (picks up a wet
       piece of paper
       out of his
You mean this?


What an idiot, that's what you get
for buying that cheap-ass
I didn't buy it. Remember in
December when Mr. Fritkurt was
calling everyone in his office to
discuss their Christmas bonus.
Well anyway, he called us in his
office, and put a check for the
bonus on the table, and a box with
a question mark on it, and gave us
a choice of either the bonus, or
the mystery box.
And what did you do?
I took the bonus and walked out
the building, and a mysterious
midget told me.....
Told you what?
      (starts walking
       towards Mr.
       Fritkurt's office)
That you're an idiot. The
breifcase was in the mystery box.
So you choose the mystery box.
What an idiot. Hey so did you ever
see the midget again?
JOHN looks at MICHAEL dumbfounded and walks into Mr.
FritKurt's office.
As JOHN walks into the office, he sees Mr. FritKurt with his
feet on the desk, reading a Playgirl magazine.


                       MR. FRITKURT
      (throws the
       magazine on the
You don't know how to knock JOHN,
that's exactly that kind of
behavior that is making me have to
do this. I'm sorry son but you're
Just then MICHAEL walks in and puts a load of papers on MR.
FRITKURT's desk.
Those are the papers you wanted
                       MR. FRITKURT
      (slaps MICHAEL on
       the ass)
Good job Mikey
MICHAEL briefly exchanges an awkward look with JOHN before
leaving the room.
What about him?
                       MR. FRITKURT
What about him?
He just walked in the room without
knocking and you didn't fire him?
                       MR. FRITKURT
      (Rubs his hands
Yes, but we have a special
Look sir I really, really need
this job, I am still paying off my
student loans.
                       MR. FRITKURT
Okay, I tell you what, I'll give
you another shot.


      (hugs MR. FRITKURT)
Thank you sir!
                       MR. FRITKURT
      (pushes him off)
Okay, just give me that report.
      (puts his hands
       behind his back)
Which report?
                       MR. FRITKURT
The one behind your back
      (brings his hands
       back in front of
Oh this report. Can I get a few
minutes to...
                       MR. FRITKURT
      (Holding his hand
No, if you want to keep your job,
you will hand me the report now.
JOHN puts the report on top of the papers that MICHAEL
brought in, and when MR. FRITKURT picks it up, water drips
and he notices a wet patch on the other papers.
Should I clean out my desk now or
                       MR. FRITKURT
JOHN walks out of his office too his desk, and begins
putting a few things in his briefcase. MICHAEL walks over.
He fired you!
Yeah just beacuse the report was a
little bit wet. Hey maybe you
could make him rehire me?


How do you expect me to do that?
Easy, just tell him no sex untill
I get rehired.
HaHa very funny.
The Security guard walks over and hands JOHN a trash bag
      (holding the trash
Whats this for?
                       SECURITY GUARD
MR. FRITKURT said to give you this
to pack your things up.
      (throws the bag on
       the floor)
No I refuse. I have been a
good...no great employee for this
company, and I think I deserve at
least a box.
                       SECURITY GUARD
Sir, if you refuse to pack your
things, I will pack them and throw
them away.
      (moving out the
pack them then!
The Security guard starts throwing the things in the bag,
then he begins to break some of the things before he puts
them in the bag.
Hey that's uncalled for. You know
what I can pack my own stuff so
move out the way.
JOHN pushes the security guard.


                       SECURITY GUARD
      (puts his hand on
       his flashlight)
Sir don't make me use this
      (Holds his hands
What are you gonna do flash me in
the eyes...whoooooo
                       SECURITY GUARD
      (holds the
       flashlight up)
The Security Guard flashes the light in JOHN's eyes.
      (holding his eyes)
My eyes!My eyes! Why didn't anyone
tell me that they gave him a super
JOHN sits on the curb outside the Office building, rubbing
his eyes, with his trash bag and wet briefcase next to him.
MICHAEL walks out.
      (sits down next to
So what are you gonna do now
The Security guard drives his golf cart past them, and
exchanges bad looks with John
I don't know man. First I have to
break it to Sheila. We've been
trying to save up for a house, but
now that I don't have a job we
might have to use some of our
savings to get by. I just hope she
takes it well.


John stands outside the apartment building, with his
suitcase and trash bag next to him, while his clothes rain
down on him from Sheila throwing them out the window.
      (throwing clothing
       out the window)
My mother always told me you were
a loser, but like an idiot I
thought you were destined to
become something, well I can say I
was partly right because you did
become something......A MEGA LOSER
      (shouting back up
       at her)
Great use of the english language
Sheils, it's no wonder why so many
people want to hire you, oh wait a
minute, no one does. How do you
expect to pay rent without me huh,
you don't make money by watching
Jeopardy all day
      (now throwing
How dare you, you know I watch it
to prepare for when they call me
Newsflash darling, nobody wants to
see a fat ugly whale like you on
We don't see Sheila at the window for a little while, and
then she appears with John's Xbox in her hands
Seeing as you're leaving, you
might as well take this with you


You wouldn't
Watch me
Sheila throws the Xbox out of the wimdow
In slow motion John rushes towards where the Xbox is falling
and gets ready to catch it.
John wakes up in a hospital bed with a bandage around his
head. When he opens his eyes his head begins to ache, and
his eyes are really sensitive to the light as if he just
woke up from a really long sleep. While his vision is still
blurry a nurse walks in.
Hey you're awake, that's great!
Yeah we should throw a party. Why
am I here?
Boys and there toys. You're
girlfriend threw you're I'm
guessing beloved Xbox out the
window, and instead of thinking,
hmmm this may hurt a little, you
tried to catch it, but you didn't
exactly position yourself properly
because it landed on your head.
Well forgive me for not being
Derek Jeter. So how long was I
4 months
What the .....


The nurse puts a pillow over John's face
      (lifts up the
Don't you curse in here. There are
      (still shocked)
okay sorry. I've got to leave this
most be costing me a lot of money.
John tries to get up but struggles and the Nurse helps him
back into the bed
      (tucking him in)
Don't worry about that. Someone is
taking care of the bills for you.
Just relax, and watch T.V. You'll
be ready to go in about a week.
Who is paying?
      (turning on the
       T.V. and changing
       the channel)
Can't say..... Do you like
No I hate it but my ex loved it
though, always used to talk about
competing on the show.
      (walking out the
I think you'll like it today
Lying there in the bed John hears a voice on the T.V. that
sounds familiar but he can't see the face beacuse his eyes
are still blurry.
I feel great, I really do.


                       ALEX TRABEK
Well you've won every episode for
the past three months, but I
understand there were a few people
close to you that didn't believe
you could do this.
A little kid about 3 years old dragging a teddy bear behind
him, and wearing pajamas walks to the doorway of John's room
and stands there looking at him, while sucking his thumb
Yeah, some very close to me, and
because I had to believe by
myself, I'm going to enjoy my
money by myself, although I might
help out a few people here and
Alex trabek and the familiar voice continue to talk, John
rubs his eyes and with all his might tries to focus on the
Oh Shit!
The litlle kid hears Johns expletive, drops his teddy bear
and runs off.
It's Sheila!


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From Chantell Monique Date 9/14/2005 **1/2
Ahh mannn!!! Where's the rest! I was ready to read more. I wanted to know if he made his crappy life better or what. Please if you're not doing anything with your time, add more it's really funny!

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