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The Funny Guy
by Bob (bobthemob@sbcglobal.net)

Rated: PG   Genre: Comedy   User Review: **
A absoultly hillarious short script about a funny guy and his destiny!


It's not copyrighted, but please don't steal it.



THE FUNNY GUY

FADE IN:

INT. HOUSE - DAY
                                                            
A FUNNY GUY is slepping in his bed.
                                                            
He wakes up and FARTS and laughs really LOUD!
                                                            
A whole bunch of people come into his room and laugh at him.
                                                            
                       PEOPLE
Ha ha ha! You're so funny and
your farts smell gross!
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
      (laughing)
I know!
                                                            
The funny guy leaves his room making his way through all the
people.
                                                            
 
EXT. STREET - DAY
                                                            
The funny guy walks down the street in his funny pajamas.
People laugh at him as he walks.
                                                            
The funny guy trips on a remote control car and falls flat
on his face.
                                                            
Some kids come up to him and begin kicking him while he's on
the ground.
                                                            
The funny guy FARTS EXTREMLY LOUD and the kids die.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
      (laughing)
You guys stink!
                                                            
The funny man gets up and walks away.
                                                            
An OUTRAGED MOTHER runs up to him.
                                                            
                       MOTHER
      (angry)
What have you done? You just
killed my child with a stinky
fart!
                                                            

2.

                       FUNNY GUY
      (laughing)
Don't wory, it was funny!
                                                            
                       WOMAN
      (laughing)
Oh yeah! I guess it was!
                                                            
The grasp eachothers arms and begin to dance in the middle
of the street.
                                                            
A crowed of people come to watch.
                                                            
                       PEOPLE
      (laughing)
Ha ha ha ha! Your dance is so
funny!
                                                            
The funny guy FARTS again and everyone dies laughing.
                                                            
 
INT. BUILDING - DAY
                                                            
The funny guy walks into a nicly furnished office building.
                                                            
The secretary sees him and begins laughing.
                                                            
                       SECRETARY
      (laughing)
Ha ha ha! Your pajamas are so
stupid.
                                                            
The funny guy walks up to the counter and puts his arm and
on it.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
I thought you would think so.
                                                            
The secretary stops laughing.
                                                            
                       SECRETARY
      (fear)
Oh no.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
I'm afraid so.
                                                            
                       SECRETARY
Don't say it. Please!
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
I'm going to say it...
                                                            

3.

                       SECRETARY
No! You remember what happened
last time!
                                                            
There is a pause.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Diarrhea.
                                                            
The secretary begins laughing very hard.
                                                            
She FARTS realy loudly.
                                                            
Everyone in the office turns to stare at her, then they
begin laughing.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Hey!
                                                            
The room becomes silent.
                                                            
                       FAT GUY (CONT'D)
Diarrhea.
                                                            
The room explodes with laughter. The funny guy walks away,
satisfied.
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE CUBICLE - DAY
                                                            
The funny guy takes a seat at his desk in the crowded
cubicle.
                                                            
His BOSS comes in.
                                                            
                       BOSS
Congratulations Funny Guy, you
just got a raise.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
      (excited)
That's excelent! How much?
                                                            
                       BOSS
$200 an hour. Congratulations.
                                                            
Teh boss leaves the cubicle.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Wow...I wonder what I will do with
all that money...
                                                            
DREAM SEQUENCE:
                                                            

4.

The funny guy sits in a golden throne wearing a king's
outfit. A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN comes into the room.
                                                            
                       WOMAN
Sir, the president is here to see
you.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
All righty. Send him in!
                                                            
The president comes into the room and bows before the funny
guy.
                                                            
                       PRESIDENT
Good evening.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
What's up?
                                                            
                       PRESIDENT
Politics.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Boooooooooring. Let's actually do
something fun.
                                                            
                       PRESIDENT
What is fun?
                                                            
The funny guy stands up.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
This.
                                                            
The funny guy begins tap dancing.
                                                            
END DREAM SEQUENCE:
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Wait, what does that have to do
with being rich?
                                                            
The president comes into his office.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
      (surprised)
MR. PRESIDENT?
                                                            
                       PRESIDENT
      (whispers)
Shhhh! Keep it down!
                                                            

5.

                       FUNNY GUY
      (whispers)
What are you doing here?
                                                            
                       PRESIDENT
Well, since you're so rich and
stuff, I was wondering if you
could teach me fun.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Sure thing.
                                                            
INT. STAGE - DAY
                                                            
The funny guy and the president are tap dancing on stage in
front of a lot of people.
                                                            
When they finsish, they turn around, stick out they're rears
and FART.
                                                            
The crowed erupts with laughter.
                                                            
                       PRESIDENT
Thanks man! I owe you one!
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Don't mention it.
                                                            
 
INT. HOUSE - NIGHT
                                                            
The funny guy is sitting in a chair watching his cat do
back-flips.
                                                            
A JEANIE APPEARS.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Oooooooooooo!!! A jeanie! Do I
get 3 wishes?
                                                            
                       JEANIE
No.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Then why are you here?
                                                            
                       JEANIE
To tell you something very
important.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Realy? What?
                                                            

6.

                       JEANIE
Funny Guy, you were not put on
this earth to make people laugh.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
      (horiefied)
What?
                                                            
                       JEANIE
Even though you are very good at
it, that is not your purpose.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Then what is it?
                                                            
                       JEANIE
You were put on this earth as a
messenger, such as myself, to warn
people about stuff.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Really?
                                                            
                       JEANIE
Yes. Now go.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Wait!
                                                            
                       JEANIE
What?
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Can I still be funny?
                                                            
The jeanie sighs.
                                                            
                       JEANIE
Yes. But mostly be a messenger.
                                                            
The funny guy salutes the jeanie.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Yes sir!
                                                            
The jeanie BURPS and dissapears.
                                                            
 
INT. STORE - DAY
                                                            
A WOMAN is walking down the soup aisle with a grocery cart.
                                                            
The funny guy jumps through the shelfs of soup.
                                                            

7.

                       FUNNY GUY
Hello Bertha!
                                                            
                       BERTHA
Hi.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Aren't you surprised that I know
your name?
                                                            
Bertha shrugs her shoulders.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
What ever. Listen, for I will
tell your future.
                                                            
                       BERTHA
Okay.
                                                            
The funny guy jumps into her cart.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
You can keep shoping while I tell
your future.
                                                            
                       BERTHA
Okay.
                                                            
Bertha continues to shop for soup.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Sometime in your future, very
close from now, a store employee
will ask you if you need help.
                                                            
A store employee comes up to Bertha.
                                                            
                       EMPLOYEE
Do you need any help?
                                                            
                       BERTHA
No.
                                                            
                       EMPLOYEE
Okay.
                                                            
The employee walks away and Bertha keeps shoping.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Empresive?
                                                            
                       BERTHA
No.
                                                            

8.

                       FUNNY GUY
Okay then, in a few seconds, the
shelf will fall on you.
                                                            
For no apparent reason, the shelf falls on top of Bertha and
the funny guy.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY (O.S)
      (under shelf)
Impresed?
                                                            
                       BERTHA (O.S)
      (under pile)
No.
                                                            
 
INT. HOUSE - NIGHT
                                                            
The funny guy comes into a house. There is a fat guy
sitting in front of a TV.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Hello.
                                                            
The fat guy turns around to face the funny guy.
                                                            
                       FAT GUY
Who are you?
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Why, I'm the funny guy. Do you
want some chicken?
                                                            
                       FAT GUY
As a matter of fact, I do.
                                                            
The funny guy pulls a chicken leg out of his pocket and
hands to the fat guy.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
There you go.
                                                            
The fat guy gobbles it up quickly.
                                                            
                       FAT GUY
But I still don't know who you
are.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
I already told you --
                                                            

9.

                       FAT GUY
-- No no no! I've nerver seen you
before! What are you doing in my
house?
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Because, I have to ask you a
question.
                                                            
                       FAT GUY
Ok. Shoot.
                                                            
The funny guy looks around the room.
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
I'm not sure if I should ask you
this, but, oh! I don't know.
                                                            
                       FAT GUY
What?
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Well, uh. I guess it's jsut...oh!
                                                            
                       FAT GUY
What is it?
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
Well,
      (clears throat)
Would you mind if I did this?
                                                            
The funny guy pulls a baloon out of his pocket and blows it
up. When he's finished, he hands it to the fat guy.
                                                            
                       FAT GUY
What's this for?
                                                            
                       FUNNY GUY
      (singing)
Ohhhhhh, the people you will meet,
on the street, will provide the
answer....
                                                            
The funny guy explodes in a huge ball of apple suace.
                                                            
                       FAT GUY
Woo hoo! My favorite!
                                                            
The fat man begins going around the room licking everything
with apple suace on it.
                                                            
 

10.

EXT. STREET - DAY
                                                            
The fat guy is walking down the street in his underwear
holding the balloon the funny guy gave him.
                                                            
The fat guy comes up to a little boy.
                                                            
                       FAT GUY
Excuse me little boy, but could
you tell me why the funny man gave
me this balloon?
                                                            
                       LITTLE BOY
You're fat.
                                                            
The little boy FARTS.
                                                            
A woman runs up to him.
                                                            
                       WOMAN
Take the balloon to the tallest
tower and destroy it! For only
evil will come out of it.
                                                            
The woman runs away and runs into a lamp post.
                                                            
The fat guy shrugs and pops the balloon.
                                                            
Some confetti comes out.
                                                            
                       FAT GUY
      (mesmerized)
Ooooooooooo...Pretty...
                                                            
All of a sudden, the confetti jumps into the air and goes
into the mans mouth.
                                                            
He chokes to death.
                                                            


FADE OUT.


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From Michael Rewiri-Thorsen Date 3/14/2007 *
I think it's actually laughing at the humour that it portrays, not promoting it. Still satire against slapstick is always weak.

From Eric Swinderman Date 2/14/2007 0 stars
Spelling was awful, and it seems that the absurdity was really a crutch for not having an actual idea. Study the Kids in the Hall if you want a real lesson in absurdist humor.

From Jackson Date 4/25/2006 ****
I'm almost embarresed to admit this, but I thought this was hilarious! It was SO stupid that I was laughing pretty much the entire time. The format needs a bit of work and the story makes no sense, bad dialog, but I'm giving it a 4 because it's just so f*@$&!g funny!

From J.J Date 4/5/2006 ***1/2
Holy crap! I just couldn't stop laughing! It was SO STUPID! In a good way. There should seriously be more scripts and movies like this. A little to much toilet humor, but still side-splitting. I have never actually laughed out loud at a script before, just a few belly laughs, but man this was funny!

From martin boogaard Date 12/27/2005 *1/2
It's hard to read a screenplay with so many spelling errors. I'm not sure where you wanted to go with this, but I think the best you could hope for is a SNL type skit.

From jonathanm Date 12/4/2005 ****
the best, i thought this was the best. you did a great job writing it and i love every page of the screenplay.

From Greg Baldwin Date 11/17/2005 ***
This was a very stupid script but I found myself laughing all the way through. I expected the worst out of this, and aside from your terrible synopsis and spelling, this was entertaining. If you don't like toilet humor and fart jokes, this isn't for you, but if you can enjoy an immature laugh, then by all means check this out. Not bad, dude, not bad.

From Steven R. Scheer Date 11/13/2005 **
Your script was pretty stupid, but I guess that obviously was the purpose of it. tupidity is part of it's charm, and I do love the dumb comedy. Some parts did make me laugh, so I guess mission accomplished. Any story that starts out that a guy wakes up, farts and laughs really loud in the first two lines is okay in my book. So, I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and give you a two, which in my opinion is the best you should hope for from this. And watch that spelling and grammar. What's really funny is that right at the end, after the fat guy dies, there's an add saying to lose weight fast with their product. Now if that aint funny, I don't know what is.

From Adam North Date 11/13/2005 ****
LOL! GREAT!

From Adam North Date 11/12/2005 ****
Ok.........I know you can never judge a script by the beginning, but I was going to. I was wrong, and the script turned out to be hillarious. It would be great as a short. Sure it was stupid, but also very funny. Some spelling that you need to work on though.

From Christine Nordyk Date 11/11/2005 *1/2
It was all right ... a little too much farting, but whatever ... a little more practice and you should do good ... congratulations!!

From Jesse Pinho Date 11/9/2005 0 stars
No offense, but that was really an awful screenplay. No plot, and the humor level was that of an 8-year-old. Next time have a story-line in place before you begin a script.

From C Date 11/9/2005 *
I couldn't come to care about any of your characters. After a couple of *funny* pages, I couldn't take the sustained artificial *funny*. Also, why does the Jeanne appear out of no where? Why does the protaganist disapear suddenly? I had high hopes for this script within the first two pages. Maybe this is a "practice" script. But it could be good if there was focus, conflict and a story arc.

From Zach Shevich Date 11/9/2005 *1/2
It was just...odd, weird, I don't know. A couple okay chuckles from the way it looks like it know it's being stupid but overall I'd just say...wtf?

From Jeremy Moore Date 11/7/2005 *
As far as slap stick humor goes it isn't too bad. I personally don't find kids dying very funny.. but it did get the point across.

From Sean Elwood Date 11/7/2005 ***
Okay I really don't know what to say about this, but one thing, you need to work on your spelling. It was actually pretty funny towards the end, but the farting part was a little immature. But the rest was funny.


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