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by Ernie Piper (Theakysnief@gmail.com)

Rated: PG-13   Genre: Teen Movies   User Review: ***
A zen parable for growing up in suburbia, Warrior is a coming of age story in a blur of reality. A young boy, Alex, has to realize how different his own private imaginative world and the real world are. He tries to understand the bizarre brand of wisdom his father foists upon him while his eclectic friend Eli trains him to be the perfet warrior, body and soul. Please, leave some comments. I'll be posting another update in about a week, when I've redone some of the more dialogue-heavy scenes. Thanks ---Ernie

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



ALEX is walking down the stairs, towards camera. He enters a
living room, where his dad is reading Kafka's Metamorphosis
in an easy chair.
Dad, I've been thinking. There
comes a time in a man's life, as
you've always told me, that one
has to do things with oneself. I
want to become one with myself,
and to do so I need to embark on a
mystical quest.
Dad, this is important to me! I
need maybe $23 and probably a
sword and most likely-
Happy birthday, son.
ALEX is surprised. DAD reaches behind him to pull out a
present. It looks like a wrapped potato.
It isn't my birthday, and this
isn't a sword-
It is your birthday. The 21st?
ALEX hesitantly unwraps it, still mildy surprised. It's a
potato. An expression of numb disbelief crosses his face.
How does it feel to be ten, eh?
Proud? You know, there comes a
time in a man's life-
Dad's voice fades out while the video still plays. ALEX
looks around, and sees "Happy 10th Birthday" written on a
card on the wrapping paper. He opens the card. Inside, it



Is this worldly, or is this sacred?
                       ALEX (V.O.)
This was my eleventh birthday. I
didn't make sense to me, either.
Young versions of ALEX and ELI are outside. They have
cardboard armor and cardboard swords, and are staring each
other down before a battle. Dramatic camera work.
They charge. Just before they hit each other, screen
                       ALEX (V.O.)
This is where I met my best
friend, Eli. In my defense, I was
sick that day, and I'd sprained my
ankle already.
The word ELI is superimposed over him.
Shot unfreezes. ALEX trips, and ELI stabs him. Mock death
and triumphant glory.
You fought bravely, good sir
I tripped! I wanna rematch!
Ok. But I get two hits, and you
only get one.
That's not fair! We should both
get two hits, or arm hits don't
Arguing continues for some time until MOM calls out across
the field to BOY to come home.


I'll beat you tommorow. Be here,
Ok? After lunch.
ELI just stares as BOY gradually turns and runs away.
MOM stands beneath a hill waiting for BOY. She is wearing a
very ratty scarf, and is chewing her nails anxiously. When
she sees BOY she perks up.
How was the playground?
I met a friend. Could I stay for
justa little longer, please? Can
I? We were havin' fun, and-
Oh! What's our friend's name?
He's Eli, and we were in the
middle of somthing important.
could I please-
Let's go home. I've got a
wonderful recipe from the Food
Network, we can't let it burn.
MOM and BOY start walking home. ALEX is struggling to get
back to playground.
MOM is driving ALEX home. It is evening. ALEX is in the
backseat staring at his lap. Kids play in the streets.
The car pulls into a magnificent house.
MOM and ALEX are sitting around the dinner table. MOM
unveils a scary-looking dish. Dad is nowhere to be seen.


Alex, could you get your father
back from his zen garden? Dinner's
ready. And, I haven't seen him
since noon.
ALEX pushes himself back from the table, and starts
wandering through the house. He makes it to the room which
opens into the yard, and stops facing the door. Camera shows
the room. Camera switches to ALEX's POV.
Elements of the room start to become enemies or monsters.
ALEX looks around for a weapon. He sees a stick on the
ground, which becomes a sword on double take. He fights his
way outside.
DAD is peacefully raking a sandbox. We see ALEX in the
background, swinging randomly at nothing.
ALEX is fighting. He whirls around, and stops an inch from
DAD's leg. The imaginary creatures disappear. DAD doesn't
notice ALEX's presence.
It's time to come in for dinner,
      (Humming to
ALEX, MOM, and DAD are eating dinner around a table.
I met a new friend. His name's
Well, good for you. Friends are
Try the cabbage.
They continue eating in silence.


ALEX goes up the stairs, and into his room. He gets some
sticks, and starts winding padding+duct tape around them.
      (From outside)
HEY! I'm on your roof.
How did you get up there?
Because, I have magical climbing
powers. I can scale walls faster
than a spooky giant spider.
ALEX stares for a surprised moment.
I say we duel. Again.
ALEX and ELI are fighting in the open field.
                       ALEX (V.O.)
As you can see, nothing changed
Oh, just peachy. You thought for
the barest second that you could
defeat the most fantastic
warrior-king this side of the Rio,
I just got your head.
ELI inclines his head to see a sword on his neck.
MOM comes up a hill a ways away. She is wearing a the same
scarf, but rattier.
Alex, it's time for dinner! You
wouldn't want to miss dinner!
I need to go.


ELI just stares as ALEX leaves the field for his mother.
Mom, I need to stay out for
another hour or so. Do you see
this sword? The duct tape isn't
scratched! It's--
I have delicious scalloped russet
potatoes in the dining room. You
just HAVE to see it.
They get in the car and drive off. ELI is nowhere.
MOM and BOY walk into the house. MOM quicly makes for
kitchen to check on the oven. She is relieved by what is in
the oven, as it is not burned. She takes it out, and puts it
in the center of an ornately set table.
BOY goes for the stairs and hurries to his room. He gets to
a mirror and, pausing, looks at himself. He fiddles with an
interesting necklace (of some sort. undecided which kind.)
He changes out of his sweaty clothes.
DAD camly gets up from his armchair. He was reading Kafka's
Metamorphosis. He saunters over to the table, and waits for
MOM waits until ALEX is at the table. She uncovers, with
great relish, a plate of baked potatoes. DAD and BOY both go
for the potatoes. ALEX is expressionless and eats his potato
rapidly. MOM is beaming.
So, how was school? How's the, um,
what's it called again?
Dueling club?
Yes, that's it. How's the dueling
ALEX keeps eating. After a long silence, he finishes his
mouthful, looks up at his mother.


I think... that it's going well.
Yes. We send in the proposal
tommorow, and we can only hope
that the pricipal finds it
Another long silence.
Have you read Kafka yet? I think
you'd really like him.
Honey, I don't think he cares
about Kafka.
But...he turns into a big bug.
DAD quiets down and finishes his potato.
BOY leaps up and puts his plate in the sink. He pauses
Thanks, mom.
Tell all your girlfriends Hi for
Don't tease him, let him be.
ALEX heads upstairs, back to his room. His swords lie in the
corner of the room, he looks at them excitedly. Suddenly,
they become real swords. He grabs one, and runs to the roof,
and escapes. The image freezes.
                       ALEX (V.O.)
Practice in the morning. Go to
school. Duel with Eli. Dinner, and
escape. Every day is a good day.
Shots are flashed of ALEX in school, dueling, eating,
repsective to his voiceover. Screen goes back to frozen
image of ALEX on the room. The word "ADVENTURE" is
superimposed on the screen.


Students are crowding around lockers, pulling books,
preparing for their next classes. Camera sweeps around to
reveal ELI nodding acknowledgement. Camera sweeps back to
ALEX nodding back.
ALEX almost runs into a group of girls in the hall. He stops
in front of a locker and opens it ceremoniously. We cannot
see what's in it. He nods to the open locker.
Every day is a good day.
JERK is walking down the hallway with his friends. He nods
at ALEX, then charges down the hall. JERK runs into ALEX (on
purpose), making him stumble. ALEX doesn't seem to care.
Watch it, punk!
ALEX closees the locker, and looks straight ahead as he
walks to his next class. He makes no attempt to speed up
when the bell rings.
KATIE and group of friends stroll by, laughing. They see
JERK, wave at him, and start giggling flirtishly. ALEX looks
at her, curiously, then shakes his head.
Hi, Alex!
KATIE passes ALEX without a second glance. ALEX doesn't seem
to notice.
Kids are playing on the nearby playground. Their sounds die
away and the camera zooms in on ALEX's face. He is
concentrating fiercely. He perks up sudden;y, then dashes
offscreen. There are absolutely no sounds sow, save for the
occasional patter of running footsteps coming from behind
bushes, trees, etc. Shot of ALEX's back. ALEX jumps up and
whirls around to parry ELI's duct tape sword.
They stand there for a minute. The strain of the parry is
evident on ALEX's face.


I got that one.
      (Nodding downward)
Have you looked down yet?
A short, duct tape dagger in buried in ALEX's ribs. ALEX
looks down, sighs, and stands up.
I was far too quick for you. You
need to practice harder. Take a
If you say so.
I should've seen that one. why
didn't I? I checked my stance, I-
Don't worry about it, huh? You
just weren't fast enough.
Something wrong? You're probably
right. I've seen you go faster.
I think a Quest is needed.
Something is wrong, and I need to
set it right.
A quest? The most sacred of
undertakings? What is this for?
Eli, where is the spirit of the
Where else? In the Sword lies the
true spirit of the warrior, and
when the sword is merely part of
the greater whole that is the


Right, right. But if I can't
fight, then my spirit has left the
And we need to find it.
I don't know if that's it.
I don't follow, my
Did the siprit leave for a reason
or not?
Does it matter? Just get it back,
I'm sure it cant have gone far. I
hope there's some sort of Dragon
King guarding it. In fact, I think
there is.
Dragon rears up out of the ground. It then flakes away and
Alex? Your spirit really has gone,
hasn't it?
                       ALEX (V.O.)
The Quest was a well established
tradition with me and Eli.
Usually, though, they were his
ideas. There was that one time-
Still shots flash on screen. ALEX's V.O. talks over the
images. First is a series of shots detailing Eli and Alex
defending a kid from several larger ones.
                       ALEX (V.O.)
-when we defended Avery from his
hated and feared enemies, the
brotherhood of evil.


Alex and Eli have won, but not by a lot. Alex is on the
ground, sprawled with a silly grin. Eli helps him up.
                       ALEX (V.O.)
Or the time we defeated a thousand
bandits and their robber bandit
Eli and Alex fight trees, stools, etc, anythnig that's not a
bandit warrior.
Eli, go home and prepare. We both
need to cleanse ourselves before
our journey.
Right you are. I'll meet you back
here in what, say, ten minutes?
Half an hour. No more, no less.
ALEX turns to walk away. He starts to mutter to himself. Eli
doesn't move, just watches him.
      (muttering to
My goodness! Can't even focus on a
bloody dragon king. The boy is
losing his touch.
      (turning back to
This sword! Is this worldly, or is
this sacred?
I assume when you can answer that,
the spirit will have to safely be
back in your sword, where it
ALEX opens the front door, ignoring the disarray that is his
home. His parents are packing for what looks to be a camping
trip. He tromps up the strairs, and heads for his room.
Shorty after this, MOM goes up and knocks on his door.


Alex? Is all your stuff
downstairs? We're about ready to
There is a long pause. Slowly, the door opens to reveal a
nonplussed ALEX staring at his mother. He pushes past her to
plod downstairs. He looks up and finally sees the piles of
luggage. His dad amiably strolls in to stand over the
luggage triumphantly.
MOM is driving. Alex is slumped against the car wall,
staring at the ground. DAD is in the front seat, reading
another book (insert a book here) Maybe the metamorphosis
still. The car takes a couple turns (Camera in backseat,
Alex's POV)
The car, from Alex's POV, drives past the campsite guy who
takes your money, and into an empty campsite. MOM and DAD
step out fo the car. MOM stretches a little, and dad opens
the trunk to fetch the tent, food. etc. ALEX awakens
abrubtly, climbs out of the car, and helps DAD and MOM
unload the stuff.
Morning, Alex! how did you sleep?
ALEX pauses to think, and the screen fades to black.
Eli? Eli!
Screen slowly fades up, still remaining foggy in some way,
maybe even in black and white. ALEX is in the open field,
looking for his friend. He sees MOM waiting for him at the
end of the field. Kids play on the nearby park, swinging and
the merry-go-round, and he goes with MOM to the school,
where he is dropped off. All the people inside have no
facial features.
ALEX sees himself walking down the hallway, and a familiar
scene occurs.


      (Bumping into Alex)
I exert my dominance over you by
demonstrating my ability to push
you around, which displays my own
insecurity of not being in
The passing period scene is re-enacted by the dream members.
This time, however, KATIE giggles and waves, and greets ALEX
on the way to JERK.
Alex why can't you notice me? I
pass you every day, and every time
you just stare straight ahead. I
need your help to get out of a
complicated relationship with a
controlling jerk...
She trails off as she continues down the hallway.
What? Who are you!
KATIE's facial features swim into view.
ALEX shakes his head, and, taking a large pile of sleeping
bags, flops down by the fireside.
      (Inhaling robustly)
Nature, huh? I haven't been
camping in months! Let's see...
DAD searches his pockets for something, goes into the car to
get a brochure out of his jacket.he stands up and reads it
for ALEX.
Let's see. There's fishing, a
hiking trail, paddleboat rentals!
You've never been on a paddleboat,
have you, Alex? You, are in for a
A trail! Fabulous! I'll go for a
walk and let you two have some
fun. I'll get some firewood and


                       MOM (cont'd)
we'll be able to have some real
fun here!
Both adults exit in opposite directions, leaving ALEX alone
on the fireside.
So, that paddleboat was fun,
The lake was very clear.
Did you see any wildlife?
No, not many birds out today.
Loooong pause. Alex takes out a notepad, and begins a
How was the walk?
Oh, it was just spectacular! There
were so many great ferns and trees
and I found some great pieces of
Mom reaches into her backpack to bring out the interesting
pieces of wood.
I found enough to build a mobile!
I'm just thrilled! Dear, did you
bring the glue?
No, no- Alex, what do you got
Alex clearly doesn't have a response.


Peter, he doesn't have to respond
if he doesn't want to. It's his
drawing. Hear that Alex? It's your
art, you can foster your own
creativity away from critics.
I'm going to bed.
What gives, Alex? I expected a
duel! One can't duel without
something to duel with.
They took away the swords.
What? NO, that's ridiculous. Why
did they-
I'm being punished. I was caught
practising in the school hallway.
What happens at school has no
bearing on what happens to you
here, does it?
I guess it does.
Maybe I should try something new.
I mean, Zen Master Rinzai says
that nothing happens without
Yeah, but so do the Horoscopes.
And as we all know, horoscopes are
absolute crap.
But I still think we should try
something new.


No, No! You're losing your focus.
Focus! You can't reach nirvana
without a sword in your hand. You
can't take the first step towards
nirvana if you lose determination
at the first sign of adversity!
Yeah, but this is a real problem.
This isn't an army of warrior
bandits. Let's face it: That never
happened. It was-
What? You think that that never
Well, no! I just...
So, if it was "just pretend", let
me ask you this. What makes
fighting your imagination any less
difficult than fighting something
Long pause as Alex thinks about it.
Let's steal them.
Eli, that is completely against
everything. Bushido, Chivalry, the
I know, I'm aware of that. But!
We're not stealing them. They are
rightfully your swords, you put
your soul into those duct tape
creations! We are retrieving what
belongs to you.
I just don't think we can break
warrior's honor-


What! Your parents are the
villains here! They took your
honor when they took your swords!
A warrior's spirit is in his
Absolutely. A quest, then. You can
sneak out, right? Meet me here,
outside of the house at midnight.
The witching hour!
MOM is standing in a nightgown, tired and angry. She is
berating a very embarassed ALEX in the same place she was
berating him only several hours before. ELI is nowhere to be
The Witching Hour! That's your
explaination for running around at
all hours? I can't believe you
would try to take your swords
right back after I expressly
punished you! Oh, jeez! What am I
going to do with you?
ALEX has tried to interrrupt several times with "but-" and
"well-" etc. Finally MOM acknowledeges his intent to speak.
No, that's not the way it is, it-
ALEX stops mid-sentece and ponders this.
Well? What? Another excuse?
-no. I- no. I think... that...
Well, Eli convinced me to get the
-but... it was... my fault.


      (To herself)
Ok. Take a deep breath, find your
center. Find the center.
      (To ALEX)
Ok, Here goes. I'm glad that you
take responsibility. So, I won't
further punish you.
The door opens. DAD enters, with a rake.
What's this? It's past midnight?
Nothing, dear, I've got it
Oh, hello Alex. Did you see the
moon? Or that one constellation,
the... the whatsis.. You know,
that one in the zodiac...?
Everybody stares at him for a minute.
Your son was running around in the
middle of the night, and I'm
disciplining him now.
Oh, yes. I'd like to have a word
with him.
      (Eager to escape)
Well, if dad wants to talk, we
could wait until tommorow,
couldn't we?
Oh, no, no no no, I'm not done
with you yet. Peter, didn't I just
tell you I had it covered!
DAD crosses to MOM, and starts having a whispered
conversation in the corner. ALEX sits uneasily on the couch.
He looks around, and begins to fiddle with the knick-knacks
on the table, or reading a magazine, etc.


Alright, boy, let's talk.
Ok. I really want to know
something. Why did you get me that
There's a very good reason for
Dad, every time I ask this
question, you tell me the same zen
koan. Why did you give me the
Y'know, son, when Master Rinzai
was invited to the feast of the
shogunate just as a demonstration
of the shogun's connection to the
spiritual world, he didn't just
take it, did he?
No, he... he messed with them-
Just as a zen master should. Just
when he sat down to dinner, he
asked them, "Master shogun! This
wooden post, is it worldly, or is
it sacred?"
But that's just it, dad! I don't
know! I can answer no more than
the Shogun can!
Trust in the potato. I'm going to
Scene opens to Jerk and Katie having a tiff.


-Jeez, Katie, why cant'cha lighten
up? it's not like-
Not like what? Not like you and
Jo-anne were-
Hey! Ok, if that's what you want,
we can go that way! Fine! We're
through, because you couldn't
handle it! It's completely your
fault, I hope you know that!
JERK stomps off leaving KATIE sobbing in the hallway. Camera
switches to ALEX, watching the fight, as are many others.
Eli comes up behind him and stares, confused, at the scene.
You really like this girl?
This would seem to end the quest.
Alex, I... You know what? I don't
think so. There is still a part we
need to complete.
ALEX is waiting for ELI in the traditional field. He is
leaning on a stick. ELI comes up the hill, with another
My friend, we found the spirit.
Though, it doesn't end the quest.
We need to take that wayward
spirit back!
We're going to have to find the
one that bears it-
Which we did.


Right, we did, and we're going to
have to invoke the ancient gods of
power and ask them for mercy. And
if they won't give it to us, we
come in a-swinging with these
sticks. Once your spirit finds
your new sword, it will fly into
it with, uh, conviction.
What if I don't want this to be my
spirit-sword for all of eternity?
Oh, then spend months making a new
one, and prepare to-
Wait, wait. I thought that my
spirit had left for a reason. I
thought it left to find that girl.
Oh, no, don't be ridiculous.
That's preposterous. That just
plain is impossible. That's-
No! No, no no! I am nothing if not
a warrior, and certainly not
ridiculous! My spirit left to be
with someone else, and there it
should stay!
This is not a quest to retake my
spirit! This is a quest to win
Katie by virtue of my wandering
spirit! There are no ancient gods
guarding her, and not one sword
can stop me from her


       more forceful)
No ancient gods... No dragons, no
bandits, no kings, queens,
warriors, samurai, ninjas, ogres,
giants, kingdoms, wizards, magic!
No. This is a Real departure of
spirit. She is real, and those are
That's what you want, Alex? You
don't want what isn't real?
I want her. I think I love her.
But... but if you say that... it
means... No. No, I can't let you
forget what matters most. I take
up the sword today, Alex, to
defeat this-
He pauses, and drops the stick.
Alex, I can't fight you.
That's ok. We have a quest ahead
of us, we can't be arguing before
it starts. Dissention in the
ranks, right? Just like you taught
Ok. Ok, we quest to complete the
KATIE is strolling down the hallway. She is oblivious to
ALEX, watching from the sidelines of the hallway. The crowd
patrs, and ELI is seen opposite from him. KATIE is
approaching where the friends are standing.


ALEX looks at her, then shies away. ELI nods at her, mouths
"go!" but ALEX just shakes his head. ELI sighs, looks down
the hall. KATIE is still coming. He looks both ways, darts
across the hallway, and shoves ALEX in the middle of the
hall. He changes direction back to ELI.
C'mon, just like we practiced! I'm
sure you're able to manage an
adverse moment such as this one!
You're a warrior!
No, no, not, can't do it, won't-
Alex, stop, stop! Look. Look!
He gestures toward KAITE. ALEX steps out in the hall a
little to see, ELI trips him and he stumbles in her way. He
gets up, glares at ELI, and finds himself face to face with
What do you want?
ALEX garbles what to say for a second or two, when a voice
pops in behind him.
Baby, I'm so sorry, I came so we
could just forget about what
happened yesteday, alright?
ALEX tries to interject throughout the following
To apologize? Is that what you're
trying to do?
No, well, yes, but I just want us
back together, y'know-
      (emotional spite)
Oh! Is that how it goes? I'm just
so useless and, and, and wrong,
and it's my fault, but you're
apologizing? Why-


Whoa, not like that, baby, I'm
just sayin' that you, that you
were good lookin' and I'm a stud,
and that belongs together! Right?
You can't get enough of me, right?
I mean-
KATIE and JERK start talking over one another. ALEX squeezes
out from between them, and taps JERK on the shoulder.
Not now, kid, I'm busy.
No. I challenge you to a duel.
What? Alex-
Um, ok, a duel. With what, pistols
at ten paces?
No, with swords. At (insert name
of park) after school.
      (Still sarcastic)
Sure, swords. I'll kick your ass
with anything, kid.
Swords it is, then. Be there.
ELI is pacing across the room, muttering. ALEX is on the
roof, swinging his sword.


It is a sunny day and ALEX's back faces camera. A sword
rests at his side, and his hand is on it, ready to draw. He
takes a deep breath, and prepares to fight.
Camera cuts to JERK, flanked by his henchmen. He swaggers
out the doors and laughs to his buddies, looking back to
them. He looks around, and sees a sword on the ground. He
reaches to pick it up.
JERK looks behind him, and see ALEX standing, sword drawn.
Take the sword!
JERK takes the sword in front of him. He looks at it
apprehensively, and gives it a couple of practice swipes. he
shrugs, and wields it.
The henchmen start catcalls and words of encouragement to
JERK. He swaggers through his pals towards ALEX.
KATIE Attempts to stop ALEX but he brushes her off. The two
opponents close the distance between them, and start an epic
      (Speaking over the
He will be defeated! This is
destiny! Look at him, he may not
know his blade, but he knows that
this is the fight. This is Epic, I
tell you, epic! You represent all
the forces of good and
rightiousness and he is the demon
king, the sublime evil, the
supreme Master of darkness and all
things shadowy! You have to win,
you will win, this is what you
need to do, the princess, the
glory, the story, it all
essentially is distilled into one
clash of the swords. His blade
versus yours. Only you, the
warrior, will prevail this day!
During ELI's speech, JERK is backed into a corner by ALEX's
offence. JERK is worried, if not scared. ALEX is drinking in
ELI's words as he fights, his words seemingly improving his


      (Whispering from
Now, strike him down, and win the
legendary battle.
"Evil" effects are added to JERK. He looks like a demon
king, or an evil overlord, etc.
But what is a legendary battle? Is
it wordly, or is it sacred?
      (trying to sound
You gotta know when to pick your
battles, man.
The world goes silent to ALEX. He gazes at his sword, at
JERK, at ELI, and finally KATIE, who is telling him
(siliently) to stop fighting. ALEX takes another deep
breath, and throws his sword up into the air. The picture
freezes, and while time is stopped, ALEX walks away.
Would you believe it? He left!
Right in the middle of it!
But, Alex. This girl, this sword,
are they really here? This wooden
post! Are they worldly, or are
they sacred?
No matter what you call it, it is
still a wooden post.
ELI ponders this, and smiles.
Worldy and sacred? What does that
even mean?
ALEX pulls a potato out of his pocket and hands it to ELI.


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From Scott Patrick Date 3/1/2006 ***
The voice over is not needed but I did like the spirit of the story. To qualify for movie status, a movie has to be at least 90 pgs. Or, you can count it as a minute a page. I hope to see more from you.

From Sam Dunham Date 2/19/2006 **1/2
Wow, little Ernie Piper wrote a movie! It seems like only yesterday you were giving me piggy-back rides in M*A*S*H It's an interesting movie, interesting theme. How old are they supposed to be? I'd be specific, because a difference of two years will make a huge difference in the maturity level of these characters. I think that there is a good story here, but it is very unfocused, and leaves the reader feeling confused as far as motivation and needs are concerned. Spend some more time developing the characters and plot. The parable angle is good, but again it feels very unfocused. I want to take a clear, specific, distinct message from this piece. Maybe you want to convey something more broad and general but that's just what I feel would make for a stronger story. I can see this movie going longer, don't be afraid to add on stuff. -Sam Dunham

From AJ Carralejo Date 1/30/2006 ***1/2
I enjoyed the script a lot. I would avoid using a voice-over, because in this situation I think the audience would connect with Alex in a real quirky, original way rather than being standard and uniformly reflective. You should expand it to feature-length so that everyone feels like a living, breathing, three-dimensional human being rather than just a character. Other than that, you've got some good stuff that you should definitely hold onto.

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