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In Your Dreams DRAFT
by richard montgomery (rixstar@stratos.net)

Rated: PG-13   Genre: Comedy   User Review:

A good ole homeboy comedy about Girls and getting some.

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



It is a Friday evening on a cool summer's night. A group of
fashionably dressed Black/Latino young men are over heard
flirting with women who are mingling outside a Washington,
DC, brownstone where a party is going on. A cab pulls up
and outs steps CANDI KANE, 21, a confident, sophisticated,
very attractive and sexy young Black Sister who looks like
she's stepped off the pages of KING Magazine. She walks up
to the entrance past the group outside. The men make
awkward facial expressions and comical gestures in front of
the women their hitting on in an attempt to play off the
fact that they are checking out this fine woman walking past
them. Some of the women make no attempt to hide the fact
that they are perturbed by the men's behavior and respond
accordingly to this seeming lack of respect. CANDI is
unaware of all of this as she walks up the steps to the
front door and goes inside.
CANDI stands in the entry hall and scans the room, checking
out all the beautiful young people. Every ones getting
their groove on, dancing and just lounging in this stylish
and contemporary furnished multi-level home like those seen
on the TV show "Cribs". She makes her way thru the party and
blends in with the crowd.


A group of three young Black men, all friends and in their
early 20's are talking and playing pool with other people
walking in and out.

Standing by the pool table trying to line up his pool shot
is JOCK, a tall, handsome, athletic built brother who got
drafted into the NBA, got hurt, then cut and is looking to
tryout for another team. He's a no-nonsense type of brother
who still lives off his past glory.

Standing off to the side is JOKER. A short, stocky guy who
sports a gold grill front and cornrows. He is positioned
between two PRETTY YOUNG THANGS(PYTs) who are noticeably
taller than he is. Totally unfazed by how this picture
looks, he uses his hands, and other mannerisms as he jokes
around with them. The 2 PYTs seem amused by him and giggle a
Y'all got some Indian in ya don't
ya. Well You know I'm a Octaroon.
You know what'm saying. That's
1/8% Indian. So if we marry, our
kids would be like 1/16% Indian.
That will make them...what...a
Off to the other side is OCD, dressed in slacks, blazer with
shirt tail out. Every time he touches something he reaches
into one of his pockets and pulls out either hand sanitizer,
or a packet of disinfectant handiwipes to repeatedly wipe
off his hands.

Standing on the opposite side of the table is PLAYER, a good
looking brother--if he says so himself. He is so iced up
his neck, wrists and hands gets freezer burned. His bling is
so bright he wears sunglasses indoors. He is putting chalk
on his pool cue and talking trash.
      (mack daddy vibe)
Do y'all know women are really
impressed by me when I tell them
about all the INTRICACIES involved
in buying ice like this.
Raising his hand to show off a large diamond pinkie ring.
I bet they're equally impressed by


                       OCD (cont'd)
your vocabulary and that you know
words that are more than three
There is a small murmur of OOOHs! heard in the room.
OCD, women would be impressed with
you...if you would only hold their
hands long enough to put something
like this on their fingers...
      (short pause)
...you know?
You know...what? What ARE you
trying to say?
Well I heard...about this shawty
who had you whipped a couple of
years ago...
In a very neat and organized living room. The radio is
playing in the background tuned to the Quiet Storm program.
Candles are burning. There's a bouquet of roses, opened
Valentine's Day cards and a bottle of Moet sitting on a
table in back of the couch. OCD and his girlfriend are on
the couch sipping champagne looking lovingly into each
others eyes.
                       PLAYER (V.O.)
The way I heard it, you and ole
girl had been kicking it at your
crib on Valentine's Day. Y'all
were finishing a bottle of bub and
you were going to surprise her
with a birthstone ring.
OCD sets his empty glass down, turns down the radio and
starts to reach inside his suit jacket pocket to bring out
the gift box.


Baby, you know I love ya....and
I'd do anything for you...and I
just want to show you how much...
                       OCD'S GIRL
OOH..OHH...baby, wait a
minute...you know how champagne
does me. It just goes right
through me. Let me go to the
bathroom real quick...I'll be
right back, boo
Girlfriend gets up quickly and walks over to the bathroom
just off the living room.
                       PLAYER (V.O.)
And you was just sitting there
with that stupid look...like the
one you have now...thinking how
the hell she gonna just get up to
go pee in the middle of you doing
your best Wesley Snipes
                       OCD (V.O.)
Man, you wrong man...I was doing
my Denzel her.
The apartment is so small and quiet, he can hear her
slamming down the toilet seat, using the bathroom, unrolling
toilet paper, flushing the toilet. And before the toilet
finishes flushing, the door quickly opens and she comes
running back over to OCD.
                       PLAYER (V.O.)
When she comes rushing back out,
you had the ring out of the box.
She was so excited when she saw it
in your hands She jumped on your
lap and wrapped her hands around
yours in anticipation of you
slipping that ring on her finger
      (short pause)
and you...
OCD stands up abruptly and his girlfriend falls out of his
lap onto the floor with a thud. The ring falls out of his
hands and lands next to her.


                       OCD'S GIRL
      (in shock)
OOOUCH! What the...
                       PLAYER (V.O.)
      (laughing louder)
and you said...
You just...you just wiped
...and you didn't wash your hands!
Are you crazy. I ain't going to
touch you now!
The girlfriend looks up at OCD from the floor with a puzzled
look that quickly turns to anger then rage.
                       OCD'S GIRL
Oh..hell naw negro. Ain't no man
dropping me on my but like that.
OCD then manically searches through his other pockets and
pulls out a multi-pack of disinfectant handiwipes and
proceeds to open every one of them to wipe his hands off.
                       PLAYER (V.O.)
      (out of breath
       with laughter)
Man, she started cussing and
hollering and going off on a
      (catching his
Ole girl, got up...picked up the
flowers and hit him across the
head with them, then flung them
all across the room, (beat)
grabbed her purse, put her coat
on, took the last swig of
champagne glass before letting the
glass fall and break on the floor,
(beat) picked up that ring, put it
on her finger, and left your man,
OCD still standing there wiping
his hands, his clothes, the table,
everything off with the


I got the ring back...I got the
ring back. (beat) Me and shorty
still cool though. I'm still
hitting it.
Yeah..and I bet you always wear a
raincoat too..you know what'm
saying. Along WITH your a rain
hat...scarf, boots and gloves.
C'aint never have too much
protection. You know what'm
The two PYTs with Joker continue to giggle.
What about it JOCK? You should
know a little something about ice
He makes a fly fishing casting motion to show off the
jeweled watch and diamond encrusted bracelet on his wrist.
What about when you first got
drafted. You got caught up on the
hook from buying all that jewelry
for dem girlfriends of yours.
Man, I'm trying to concentrate.
You always trying to get me off my
game when I'm taking your money.
Has anybody heard from Brains? Did
his flight get in. It'll be good
seeing him after all this time.
When's he getting here?
Yeah, he texted me earlier. He had
to make a stop first. Man, stop
tripping. It's been a long time
since all four of us has been in
the same city. He'll be here.


Great. He says he has something
to tell us. Some big surprise
that he has to tell us...or show
us...in person.
JOCK sinks the 8-ball and picks the money up from the table
that he just won off of PLAYER and slowly counts his
Wanna rematch? How bout playing
for that pinky ring..Playaa?
You Wish. But seriously man, do
y'all poseurs pretending to be
Pimps even know what to look for
when buying diamonds?
Every one knows it's about the
four "C's". There's Cut, Carrots,
Clarity and Color.
But in your case PLAYER there
should be a fifth "C" that's also
      (short pause)
...and that's Class. Something you
could use a little help
The sound of OOOHS! are now mixed with laughter.
Stop hating. (beat) Don't you have
something you need to be
doing..again and again and
      (voice trails off)
Sensing some slight tension in the air, JOKER stops talking
with the two PYTs for a moment and tries to lighten the


Yeah, JOCK...and with you the
fifth C should stand for Cost. You
know what'm saying. Because it
damn near lost your mind and all
your money trying to keep all them
women happy. You know what'm
Damn right. Back in school, back
then...before I started getting
paid for shooting the rock...they
didn't want me...But...
In unison, PLAYER, OCD and JOKER join in with JOCK in
finishing this particular rant..something they have done
many times before.
                       THE FELLAS
...now I'm Hot and they all on me.
Everyone in the room is laughing. The three friends repeat
the line a few more times as they exchange high fives, low
fives, fist pounds. JOKER turns back to resume his mack
game with the two PYTs but notices they have now focused
their attention in JOCK's direction. JOKER steps up and
reposition himself between the two.
Yeah, that's my neek. You know
what'm saying. You recognize him?
That's JOCK, he's Mr. N-B-A. You
know what'm saying. Yeah, I mean
he played in the NBA, but got
hurt. Yeah, I'm like his
manager...yeah, that's it...You
know what'm saying...we got some
teams interested in us...just
waiting for the right offer..You
know what'm saying.
The two PYTs stop giggling, look down at JOKER and
collectively roll their eyes and walk over to the Pool table
trying to get next to JOCK. JOCK takes the balls out of the
pockets and puts them back on the table. He is grabs two of
them in the palm of his hand when he looks up and notices
the two PYTs standing over him.


      (mack daddy like)
You girls wanna play with me...and
my balls?
The two PYTs start to giggle again. JOCK hands one a pool
cue and PLAYER hands the other the rack that he has under
his arm. All eyes are on these two PYTs, or at least on
their posteriors, which are slightly more exposed. Their
short dresses rise up along the back of their thighs as they
bend over the table to rack the balls and start the game.
The two PYTs are playing up to all this attention and start
to giggle again.

PLAYER steps back to get a better view holding the cue stick
suggestively between his legs, making a subtle up and down
motion...that nobody notices...while chalking up the tip.

At that moment, CANDI walks in and like earlier stops just
inside the entrance and scans the room..as if she is looking
for someone. PLAYER is the first to look away from the two
PYTs to notice CANDI. She looks in his direction.

Trying to act cool, PLAYER uses the tip of his pool cue to
push his glasses up off his eyes, leaving a line of blue
chalk dust along the bridge of his nose and halfway up his
forehead. The contrast of blue chalk against his dark brown
skin causes CANDI to look away so she doesn't bust out
laughing in PLAYER's face.

CANDI starts to walk through the room in front of the pool
table. And as if by remote control, the heads of every guy
in the room snap up, one after another, like a marching
band's drumline.

The two PYTs realize that they are no longer the center of
attention...and they immediately stop giggling. They stand
straight up. Adjust themselves, pulling back down on their
short dresses. They make some other non giggling noise
drop their pool sticks on the table, turn and leave the

Nobody seems to care...their eyes still transfixed on CANDI
except JOKER who turns towards the two PYTs.
Yo!..holla at a brother.
Joker makes the "give me a call" phone gesture with his


You know what'm saying. Yo! JOCK
is really trying to get with
Joker turns away...feeling slightly dejected, but turns back
towards the others who are still checking out CANDI. When
she walks out of the room and out of sight the guys turn and
look at each other.
                       THE FELLAS
PLAYER never met a women he felt he couldn't get with. So he
makes his move and approaches CANDI out in the hallway.
      (mack daddy vibe)
Excuse me. You are very attractive
and I just have to ask you one
      (matter of factly)
Okay. What is it?
      (mack daddy vibe)
If you are not married, engaged,
in love or in a relationship....I
want to know if I can get your
number and take you out sometime.
CANDI is still trying to hold a straight face and PlAYER is
trying to act so cool unaware of that blue chalk mark
running down his face.
That was actually six questions.
So the answers are, Yes, No, Yes,
Yes, No and No.
Player is taken back and tries to recall what he said so he
can figure out the answers to his questions.


Oh...now you are at a lost for
Candi starts to turn away.
You know something...
CANDI turns back around and faces PLAYER. By this time
other people are walking down the hall past PLAYER and smile
as they see the blue on his face. He mistakes this for
flattery and smiles back while still trying to hit on CINDI.
I overheard part of your
conversation when you making fun
of your friend and his unfortunate
situation. I thought that was
cruel. People with an obessesive
compulsive disorder have a hard
enough time without people who
call themeselves a friend making
fun and humiliating them in
Hold up a second. Baby Cakes.
We're boys and OCD knows it's just
us fooling around. And besides who
do you think you are..some doctor
or his therapist.
Matter of fact. I am. You don't
know who I am? Do you?
Should I. You're acting like a
Queen B. or something. What's your
Well I am supposed to meet someone
hear. Not that it's any of your
business. But it's men like you
who make it hard for the good


Make it Hard1??! I can make it
hard all right. You don't like
men do you? Are you a lipstick
lesbian? I knew it? You should
let me show you what a real man
feels like?
Candi mouths a response under her breath that appears to be
something like...you stupid mutha.... Then turns around to
leave. PLAYER reaches out and grabs her arm and physically
turns her back around.
You better get your hands off me
or I'll...
Or you'll do what??!! Start
crying like a little girl.
CANDI looks PLAYER straight in the face and with her free
hand, strikes out like a cobra snake and puts a pit pull
grip on PLAYER's crotch.
      (very calm and
No, But I bet I can rupture one of
your testicles. (beat) So tell me.
(beat) Which one do you want to
PLAYER frozen in fear. Releases his grip and CANDI turns
around and walks away. But not before leaving PLAYER with
one more message.
For your information. I know what
a real man feels like. And
brother, you're not much of a man.
Joker comes to the doorway of the game room leading out into
the hallway. He doesn't hear the exchange but he sees the
end result. PLAYER is heading back into the room looking
like a beaten dog with his tail between his legs.

JOKER is staring at PLAYER and notices the chalk mark on his
face for the first time.


girl was carrying concealled eye
shadow weapons of mass
destruction, you know what'm
saying or all that ice you got on
is so fake it's making yo butt
turn colors. You know what'm
saying. Yo, guys, look. PLAYER's
nose got frost bite.
All the fellas are now staring at PLAYER trying to hold a
straight face.
Oh, you got JOKES, huh?
PLAYER rubs his face and notices blue chalk on his hand. He
tries to rub it off but only smears it on more.
Man, How did I get this on me. Oh
Man, and that female was looking
at me the whole time with this
crap on my face. I'm gotta go to
the john to get this stuff off of
I always said depending upon the
lighting in a room, PLAYER is so
black he looks blue.
All the guys excepts PLAYER have a good laugh on that.
Oh..now everybody got jokes.
Player leaves the room and the guys go back to playing pool
and flirting with other females who have now entered the
What time is it now? Somebody hit
Brains up on the cell and find out
when that neek is getting here.


JOKER makes the call on his phone. OCD uses one of his
handiwipes and picks up one of the pool cues that the PYTs
had dropped on the table. He takes each one and wipes it
Yeah, He's missing out on all this
play up'n here.
Yeah, PLAYER can dish stuff out
but he's a punk be-yatch when it
comes to folks joaning on him. He
thinks he god's gift to women.
Wears all that jewelry and still
drives around in a beat up
And he got the nerve to have rims
on it trap.
OCD and JOCK share a laugh at PLAYERS expense.
Yo man, I just got off with
Brains. You know what'm saying. He
said he had to stop off at some
car dealership to take care of
some paperwork.
So is Brains getting a new car he
wants to show off in? Is that the
big surprise he wants to show us?
I don't know. You know what'm
saying. He Didn't say? I didn't
ask. You know what'm saying.
      (short pause)
What were y'all laughing about
earlier, when I was on the phone?
PLAYER...and how he's always
fronting but he's acts like a damn
clown most of the time.


Yeah, I wonder how he really would
feel if he was ever caught in a
situation with his pants
down....sort of speak.
Oh Wow Man, That reminds me about
this time during NBA All-Star
weekend at the players association
ball. Y'all never heard this
story. It was my rookie year and
PLAYER flew out to LA to hang out.
We were hanging out with at Allen
Iverson's party, you know Bubba
Chuck crew thick really sets the
house on fire....if you know what
I mean.
Inside swank VIP area of exclusive LA club. Bouncers are
stationed by the velvet rope limiting access. Cristal is
flowing and cigars are blowing. Beautiful women are
everywhere. JOCK and PLAYER are seated behind a table with
women all around them.
                       JOCK (V.O.)
I was introducing PLAYER as one of
my agents trying to hook that
brother up with some action. And
boy, were we getting lots of
action. You should've seen all
the women who flock around the
ball players.

We had about six women who wanted
to go back to the room with us.
You know, even with Pimps like us,
six women are too much to handle
at one time. So we sent two of
them out right then to go get some
Roscoes Chicken and Waffles
take-out and a pack of twizzlers
and meet us back at the hotel.

It really is like a candy store.
Chocolate, Caramel, Vanila,
Butterscotch, and some
Neopolitan...you know like the ice


                       JOCK (cont'd)
cream...a mixture of flavors,
where you couldn't tell what race
they momma or daddy is. But they
were all dimes and even some
half-dollar pieces up'n there.
JOCK and PLAYER are so involved with their female company
they do not hear the commotion that is occuring around them.
By the time they react it is too late.
                       JOCK (V.O.)
Some dudes were trying to crash
the spot and the bouncers knocked
this guy into our table knocking
over the glasses and $200 bottles
of Cristal. PLAYER's cigar fell
out into his lap.

Things were jumping off all around
us so fast that the cigar ashes
started to burn thru PLAYER's
pants and and onto his leg before
he knew what was going on. We
tried to put the hot ashes out
with some of the Champagne that
was left in the knocked over

Finnaly it was over...but not
before PLAYER was screaming louder
than the honey's at our table.
They ladies only got a little wet
from the spilled Champagne.

The paramedics came, and took
PLAYER to the Hospital, your boy
PLAYER ended up with 2nd degree
burns on his....you know..you know

Man, Who knew that the nitrates in
Champagne would act like an acid
when in contact with raw,
blistering, burnt, flesh. Oh..and
the smell.


                       JOCK (cont'd)

Well, yo boy was out of action for
the entire weekend and then some.

I can't believe y'all didn't hear
about that?
I can see why PLAYER wouldn't tell
us something like that. And
remember, we didn't see you till
after the season and when you got
hurt and you know...
...left the team. Yeah, I guess I
wasn't talking to anybody for a
while after all that happened.
But, man I been really working out
and I got some tryouts lined
up...and they want me to play
Forget all that...what did you end
up doing that night. You know
what'm saying. You had all them
honeys to yourself. Boy, you the
man! You know what'm saying.
I was in the hospital with PLAYER.
I couldn't leave my boy like
that. He a jerk sometimes but
he's still like a brother to me.
Yeah...and he almost became your
brother the Unic that night, too.
You know what'm saying. You
know??...a Unic? When a man gets
OCD and Jock wince momentarirly while crabbing their crotch
and quickly interuppt JOKER in unison.
                       THE FELLAS
...we know what a Unic is JOKER.


...thing cut off. You know what'm
A couple of young women who have entered the game room and
were close enough to overhear the recent dialogue look at
the fellas pathethically before leaving out.
DAMMN, JOKER you always know how
to be a game killer, don't you.
Man, yall take things to friking
serious sometimes. But JOCK,
getting back to you...did you ever
see some Grey's Anatomy after the
ER? What about the honeys that
were coming back to your room?
Oh Yeah....when I finally got back
to the hotel. I had some good
stuff waiting for me. I was tired
and hungry but Man...I tow that
stuff up.
You were with all them honeys??
Dammnn, give me play by play
details, man. You know what'm
saying. Don't leave anything out.
      (laughing harder)
Yeah it was good. Man there's
nothing like Rosoces Chicken and
Waffles..even nuked in the
microwave. I'm glad those first
two girls we sent out came back
with the food and left it at the
front desk when they couldn't find
JOKER and OCD were salivating expecting a more bodacious
reply and seemed let down by the JOCK'S response. They also
didn't share his sense of hunmor about it.


      (getting serious)
Man, but I just remembered
something else...they forgot the
Twizzlers. And y'all better not
mention anything about this to
PLAYER. Or I put a foot up both
      (voice trails off)
At that moment PLAYER comes back into the room with out his
blue streak and sees the strange looks on the fellas faces.
What's wrong fellas. Y'all can't
get any women to talk to y'all
when I'm not around to atrract
them. Y'all need to take better
notes from a real P-I-M-P if y'all
want to get some play up'n here
Oh really now.
Man I could give you lessons in
all the finer things in life. I've
been all around the world.
Experienced fine cuisine in exotic
ports-of-call. And I've been with
with women of all different
OCD walks over and stands next to JOKER with JOCK circling
close behind.
Oh...I wouldn't consider your two
years tour as a galley dishwasher
in the NAVY as being a world
traveler. But, tell me
this...what do you know about
Champagne? Do you like Cristal..at
room temperature?
      (under his breath)
Yeah, like Emergency room
temperature. You know what'm


JOCK gives OCD a cold look and picks up a cue stick with the
fat end up and shakes it at him to leave it alone.
I don't particulary care for
Champagne. The bubbles give me
headaches. Man, that stuffs
fine for rapper's and groupies.
Cognacs..now that's what the real
hustlers drink.
      (under his breath)
Yeah...and I bet cognac doesn'
turn into a hot pants wardrobe
malfunction. You know what'm
Jock takes the pool stick and puts it over OCD and JOKER'S
HEAD and pulls back from PLAYER like Sandman Sims at Apollo
Amateur Night.
What's up with y'all. Y'all need
to grow up. These women looking at
y'all like ya'll punks. Especially
you JOKER and OCD. I don't why I
stil l hang out with you busters.
There is a uneasy quiet among the fellas. OCD and JOKER
strike up conversations with women who entered the room.
JOCK and PLAYER get back to playing pool. JOCK watches
PLAYER give an attractive young women personal, and intimate
lessons on how to hold a stick and shoot a pool.
      (mack daddy vibe)
So you never played pool before.
Let me show you. You have to grab
the stick firmly with your hand.
But not to hard.
PLAYER continues to demonstrate proper technique wrapping
his arms around the young lady with his body pressing up
against hers, bent over the table as if they were actually
lining up a shot.

JOCK picks up the flow with an equally inexperienced pool
player, and equally attractive young woman and offers his
own personal and intimate instruction.



You have to be able to work it
back and forth like this.
This goes on for a minute as both couples start rocking back
and forth in motion with the pool cue keeping rhythm with
the music playing in the background.

Suddenly, there is a chorus of voices directed at them in
unison....GET A ROOM!!!!!!

The room erupts in laughter and above the noise a louder
voice rings out.
Where my dogs at.
Immediately OCD, JOKER, JOCK, and PLAYER stop what they're
doing, leaving the women they were vibing with feeling left
out. The fellas turn in the direction of the sound. They
immediately recognize that familiar call and respond
accordingly with the dawg pound barks. All the other women

Everyone converges near the front of the room. Brains
exchanges greetings as the fellas show him love.
Bout time you showed up.
Jock and Brains bump jump in the air and bump chests
Yo, what's up my neek. It's good
seeing you.
Brains is about to embrace OCD with his hands outwardly
raised. But holds back for a second.
Oh man, come here and show me some
love. I doing better with
that...thing. Besides, as fresh
and clean as you look I need to
catch what you got.
Fa-zizle my nizzle. You looking
good my brother. Not as good as
me. But then again...who is.
BRAINS and JOKER have their own special handshake before



PLAYER is a little stoic as he watches all that's going on.
It's a dead silence when BRAINS and PLAYERS eyes meet. They
slowy approach each other each and stand about a foot
You still think you can kick my
Up and down the block.
You got to catch me first though.


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