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by Jen Tonon (joxerjen@aol.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Miscellaneous   User Review: ***
Corbin is a normal twenty-something girl. She has a job, a best friend who cares about her, and a psychotic alter-ego that's too afraid to be evil.

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.


C.U. of CORBIN. She is sitting on the edge of her bed,
staring into the camera. Her room is dirty, messy, and very
dim. There is a door behind her which is visibly locked
with a padlock and is boarded up with plywood.
I want to be brilliant. Not to say
that I'm not smart,
but I want people to know that I
am smarter than them.
Because I am. I'm not a good
person. On the outside I
might seem to be, but I'm really
not. I'm not a psychopath who
does bad things by night and hides
behind a mask of normalcy during
the day. Although, sometimes I
think the things that go through
my mind could wind me up in jail
for an eternity. Then again,
everyone has thoughts like that
once in a while. We just
don't act on them. I want to, but
I'm too tired to deal
with the emotional bullshit that's
tied to committing
an unlawful act. There are two
parts to me. Two sides to my coin.
The me everyone else sees, and the
me I see. I suppose everyone has
two sides, but not everyone has
such an immense difference between
the two. The less sadistic side of
me goes to work - or maybe that
truly is the sadistic side. The
less pure side has visions of
running her car off the road, and
exploding into a thousand pieces.
Just to see what it would be like.
I do normal things, just like
everybody else. I wake up, skip
breakfast, brush my teeth, and
shuffle off into the daily grind
of everyday life. "Well, what is
it that would make her happy,"
someone with nothing better to do
might ask. To be honest, I don't
even know. Choking something to


                       CORBIN (cont'd)
death might be a good start.
But only to see death up close.
RACHEL walks around the cubicle wall where CORBIN is
plugging away on her computer.
How was your weekend?
It was fine. I sat around the
house for hours in my underwear,
contemplating death.
You really need to get laid.
You're not kidding!
They both laugh.
Seriously though, you need to get
out of the house more often. I
don't like seeing you so upset.
I'm not upset. Just going through
some things. You know how it is
when your life has no real
What do you mean by that?
No no - I didn't mean that
                       CORBIN (V.O.)
Yes I did, you lazy sack of shit.


Just venting frustrations about my
own life.
      (changing the
Okay, Creepy Cathy; you are a
little too young and a little too
short of a penis to be having a
mid-life crisis. (pause) Well
fuck. Come on, let me buy you a
beer. What do you say?
You know I don't drink.
What? Since when?
I'm just fuckin' with ya.
RACHEL walks away.
                       CORBIN (V.O.)
I don't understand it. Rachel has
been my best friend for almost ten
years, and we've never seen
eye-to-eye on issues concerning
men. She wants to have fun, when
all I want is someone I can care
about. Now don't think I'm getting
soft. Love is possibly the best
form of torture one can endure. It
hurts worse than being burned
alive, or falling out of a
twelve-story building. Still, I'm
waiting for that one person I can
die with - preferably in some
horrible way.
A man approaches the front counter. He sees CORBIN as she
walks by, and asks for assistance.


Excuse me, miss? Could you help
      (under her breath)
Looks like nobody can help you,
                       CORBIN (cont'd)
What can I do for you?
I need a couple copies made.
CORBIN looks at the piece of paper in BRENT's hand. It's a
flyer for a horror movie festival.
You like horror movies?
Well I wouldn't be promoting this
if I didn't. Why, are you a fan?
Just a little.
Favorite movie?
Hm. It's a toss up between Dawn of
the Dead - the original, and The
You have good taste. Not too many
girls I know are into horror.
Well, the ones I do know are the
type to sit alone contemplating
death or something.
You don't know me. I could be like
BRENT gets a worried expression, unsure what to make of the
statement. Beat.
I'm just fuckin' with ya.


She starts to smile, and they both laugh a little. CORBIN
starts to feel a bit shy.
Well, how many copies did you
I guess a hundred should do it.
A hundred copies...
She fiddles with a calculator.
                       CORBIN (cont'd)
...comes out to be eight dollars
and thirty-five cents.
He hands her cash and she gives him his change. She leaves
the lobby to make copies.
                                         CUT TO:
BRENT is at the front counter looking around while waiting.
                                         CUT TO:
CORBIN is at the copy machine. She awkwardly looks over her
shoulder at BRENT at the counter. They lock eyes and shyly
look away.
CORBIN returns to the lobby with a stack of copies and sets
them on the counter.
Tell you what - keep one of those
flyers, and I hope to see you
He smiles at her and exits. CORBIN is left with a dumb smile
on her face. She catches herself and quickly turns serious.
                       CORBIN (V.O.)
What in the motherfuck just
happened? I don't get hit on.
Ever. Well, except the shitheads
at the bar, but they don't count.
She looks down at the flyer.


                       CORBIN (cont'd)
Maybe it's time I show my true
Crowds of people are milling about, waiting for the movies
to start. CORBIN approaches the ticket booth.
      (to the cashier)
One please.
The cashier hands her a ticket and she walks in the gate.
She grabs a movie schedule and looks around for a seat.
                       CORBIN (V.O.)
Don't look desperate, don't look
desperate, don't look desperate..
A tub of popcorn falls in CORBIN's lap. She's pissed.
Watch what the fuck you're doing,
Oh god, I'm so sorry - hey, you
made it!
      (brushing off
Yeah, but my clothes didn't.
I really am sorry about that. I'm
glad you came; seriously.
Yeah, me too I guess. So which
one's your favorite?
I don't know yet. I helped
organize this thing, but haven't
actually seen any of the films
yet. I wanted to be surprised.


      (pointing to the
       seat next to
Is this seat taken? I mean, would
you mind if I sat next to you?
It's a free country. Sit wherever
you like.
They both take a seat. The movie projector fires up and
everyone claps in excitement.
                                         CUT TO:
Dialog from several movies can be heard, to show the passage
of time in the festival.
Wow. This is a steaming pile of
Agreed. Want to get out of here?
They both stand up and slide through the theatre seats,
trying not to step on toes, to exit.
CORBIN and BRENT enter from the theater doors. CORBIN and
BRENT are walking through the lobby.
A killer bicycle!? What were they
At least it was better than that
"Flowers" flick.
CORBIN stops short and stares at BRENT.
Oh, come on. A killer bicycle?


Yeah, I guess you’re right.
RICH BITCH wearing a fox stole, complete with a fox face,
walks through the lobby in front of CORBIN and BRENT. She
walks right into THEATER EMPLOYEE who is sweeping the floor.
Oh! Excuse me.
                       RICH BITCH
That was rude! I can't believe the
audacity of young people today.
      (whispering to
Want to have some fun?
BRENT holds up a container of red liquid. CORBIN smiles and
nods. RICH BITCH continues to fuss at Brent and starts to
walk towards the concession stand. BRENT and CORBIN walk
toward the stand. BRENT bumps into RICH BITCH.
      (as he walks past
       RICH BITCH)
Oh, I’m terribly sorry.
                       RICH BITCH
This entire place is rude.
BRENT and CORBIN walk to a corner of the lobby and turn to
watch RICH BITCH. Fake blood starts to drip out of the fox's
mouth on the stole.
RICH BITCH reaches up to feel her stole. She feels something
wet, looks at her hand, sees that it is covered with "blood"
and screams. CORBIN and BRENT burst into laughter. They look
at each other.
      (from off-camera)
CORBIN and BRENT look toward MEL. She is scanning the crowd
looking for him.
      (seeing BRENT)
Oh, there you are.


She notices CORBIN standing next to BRENT.
                       MEL (cont'd)
Shit. Sorry to interrupt.
                       CORBIN (V.O.)
Who's this bitch?
BRENT looks at MEL and CORBIN.
Oh, this is my sister Melanie. Mel
this is…uh…
BRENT is visibly flustered and trying to think of an
appropriate response.
                       MEL (cont'd)
Sorry Brent, but you're needed
back at the theater.
It's okay.
CORBIN looks hurt. They start to walk away from each other.
She stops and turns around.
I don't normally do this, but we
should do something. If you want
She extends a hand with a business card in it.
Thanks. I bet we could get into
some trouble.
The corner of his mouth turns up in a slight smile. She does
the same. She turns and walks the other way. BRENT and MEL
wait until they are out of CORBIN's earshot.
She's cute.


And you didn’t know her name.
Shut up.
CORBIN is in the woods, hitting trees, the ground, dead
animals with a large stick.
                       CORBIN (V.O.)
No matter what it is, I always end
up screwing things up; one way or
another. Take this Brent stuff for
example. He'll drop me like a rock
pretty soon, and there isn't much
I can do about it. It happens
every time. Maybe I should save
him the trouble and jab this stick
through my chest.
She takes out a magnifying glass and examines some bugs on
the ground.
      (to a rock or tree)
Why can't I be like you? Maybe I
could be a black widow. At least
then it wouldn't matter who I
mated with. They'd all just end up
dead anyhow.
CORBIN's cell phone rings.
                       RACHEL (on the phone)
Hey! What the hell are you up to
The usual. Making friends with
inanimate objects.
                       RACHEL (on the phone)
You are bizarre. Do you wanna go
get a drink?


I don't feel like being social
                       RACHEL (on the phone)
Alright then. I'll see you on
Monday. Later.
She hangs up the phone. Her phone rings again and she picks
it up thinking it's RACHEL.
I already said I don't want to go!
                       BRENT (on the phone)
Brent? Oh.. hey. What's up?
                       BRENT (on the phone)
I was wondering if you wanted to
go do something.
      (hiding obvious
Uh, okay.
Don't sound so happy about it.
Sorry, I'm not much of a phone
                       BRENT (on the phone)
You gave me your number...
CORBIN is silent.
                       BRENT (cont'd)
How about this. I'll come get you
in twenty, and we'll go get some
lunch or something.
                       BRENT (on the phone)
I'll be there shortly. See ya.


CORBIN hangs up the phone and cracks a slight smile. She
starts to do a happy dance and twists her ankle and falls to
the ground. Her phone rings again.
Uh... Where do you live?
CORBIN is changing her clothes.
                       CORBIN (V.O.)
Romantic comedies piss me off.
Extended silence while she checks herself out in the mirror.
                       CORBIN (cont'd)
I want to be in one.
BRENT knocks on the front door. He's holding something
behind his back. CORBIN opens up the door. She's limping and
has a bandage around her ankle.
      (showing her
       what's in his
Here. This reminded me of you, so
I picked it up.
He gives her a morbid painting.
Oh wow. This is really cool of
you. Thank you.
Hey. What's wrong with your leg?
What? Oh. Bear trap. Why don't you
come in while I put it someplace
CORBIN goes to put the painting on her bed.


Nice place. A little messy, but
nice. Now really; what happened to
your leg?
I left a bear trap open by
accident. Stepped in it this
Why the hell do you have a bear
I keep it to prevent anyone
getting to the boarded-up door.
Oh. Wait, what?
Ready to go?
She opens the front door and BRENT walks out. CORBIN takes a
moment to glance back at the boarded-up door.
                       CORBIN (V.O.)
A lot have guys have tried to kick
the door down. They all ended up
with a broken foot. Then, they
nailed more boards to it.
CORBIN and BRENT are sitting at a table outside of a fast
food restaurant. They are conversing over lunch.
My dad sells cars. Great job,
right? He perfectly fits the
profile of the greasy guy wearing
twenty pounds of fake gold and
shit. He wanted me to join the
'family biz' when I graduated high
school. Fat fucking chance.
So how'd you get out of that?


Easy. I grabbed what little
possessions I had, and took off
for Colorado to be a snowboarding
instructor. I hitchiked my way
there, and slept on park benches
along the way. Not the most
glorious of routes, but I made it.
Colorado's a long way from here.
What made you come to DC?
I grew up not too far from here.
Ever been to Fredericksburg?
Ah. Anyways, I got bored living
the laid-back "hippie life," and
wanted to do something I've always
dreamed about. I saved up enough
money to rent an apartment
somewhere urban with a couple
guys, and started making my own
Do they suck?
What? My movies? I don't know, I
guess that's up to you.
How would I know? I haven't seen
any of them.
Well actually, you did. Remember
that one I called 'crap?'
Oh - that one. Yeah, they do suck.
Don't worry about it, you'll get
better. At least I hope so.


What about you? I hardly know
anything about you.
Not much to say. Had a normal
but otherwise okay I guess. Both
my parents died when I was a
teenager, and I got sent to my
How did they die? If you don't
mind me asking.
Sequence follows CORBIN's voiceover. A burglar enters a
house, and proceeds to shoot a man and woman in bed. A
little girl peeks out from behind a pile of stuffed animals,
and her face is streamed with tears.
                       CORBIN (V.O.)
Burglar. Broke into our house and
shot them both. I hid behind some
stuffed animals, and it saved my
I'm very sorry to hear that.
CORBIN laughs.
I'm just fuckin' with ya.
Damn, you're cold.
They both laugh.
I never knew my parents. I was a
foster child.


Thanks for calling me up. I enjoy
spending time with you.
He grabs her face and pulls her in for a deep kiss. CORBIN
looks semi-stunned and then kisses BRENT back.
CORBIN is lying in bed. She wakes up and sees BRENT lying
next to her. She smiles. CORBIN hears a crash. She turns to
see all the plywood has fallen off the door, but it is still
A middle-aged woman approaches the doorstep of CORBIN'S
house. She goes to knock, hesitates, and then musters the
courage to knock.
CORBIN, still bleary-eyed from sleep, slinks to the door.
She is not in the mood for visitors. She opens the door to
find a middle-aged woman on her steps. The woman is dressed
like an English nanny, but her clothes are moth-eaten and
her hair unkempt.
      (rubbing her eyes
       from sleep)
Who the fuck are you?
Oh, I'm so sorry to bother you.
This isn't going to be easy to
say... but I'm your mother.
Do what now?
I had a feeling you wouldn't
believe me. But you have to. I'm
not going to bore you with a
cliched story about how your
father and I were too young and
stupid to take care of a child, so
I'll just leave it at that. I'm


                       NANNY (cont'd)
not going to take up any more of
your time, but I just wanted to
see my baby in the flesh.
Is this some kind of a sick joke?
How do I know you're telling the
The woman produces a photo from her pocketbook. It is of a
baby CORBIN lying naked on a blanket.
                       CORBIN (cont'd)
      (eyes wide)
Oh for fuck's sake! Burn that!
NANNY'S arms outstretch and she motions for CORBIN to give
her a hug. CORBIN doesn't move.
Are you retarded? I've survived
twenty-three years without you,
and I sure as shit am not going to
start now!
But I brought you presents!
A tray appears from behind NANNY. It's a silver platter
covered with entrails, eyeballs, and various other organs.
CORBIN'S eyes grow wide.
You're fucking sick, lady! Fucking
NANNY starts laughing, while CORBIN scrambles backwards and
falls to the ground. CORBIN is awakened from her dream, and
is lying in bed. She is covered in sweat, heads to the
bathroom, and vomits.
      (waking up)
What's wrong?
Fucking nightmares. I guess I fell
back asleep.


      (giving her a
Are you okay? You're all sweaty.
It's nothing. I'm fine. Listen, I
need to get out and do something
fun. Haven't been feeling so
awesome as of late. Any ideas?
BRENT looks CORBIN in the eye and gives her a devilish grin.
ANGRY NEIGHBOR is ranting relentlessly at CORBIN.
                       ANGRY NEIGHBOR
Your dog has been shitting on my
lawn again. If I catch it on my
property again, I'm going to sew
it's asshole shut!
CORBIN and BRENT walk to BRENT's car, clearly ignoring ANGRY
NEIGHBOR'S ranting. She continues to rant and shake her fist
as they're driving away.
                                         CUT TO:
                       ANGRY NEIGHBOR
      (waving her arms)
Slow down!
BRENT looks at his speedometer.
I'm doing ten...
Where are we going?
That gothy dance club in the city.
To make fun of the dancing.
CORBIN chuckles.


Let me show you how to dance like
a goth poseur. There are many
variations, but here are four of
the most popular dances:
CORBIN is doing the moves as she describes them.
"Pick the Flowers, Smell the
Flowers." "Clearing the
Spiderwebs," "I Lost My Contact,"
and "Shooting Craps."
                                         CUT TO:
CORBIN and BRENT laughing hysterically at the lame goth
dancing in the club.
CORBIN is sitting at her desk, extremely bored. The phone
      (picking up the
Good afternoon, CopyCo.
She disguises her voice with a British accent.
                       CORBIN (cont'd)
Oh um, I'm sorry, luv, Corbin's
dead... Yes, that's right...
Yesterday... Violent car
accident... I'll pass on your
condolences. Mmm hmm, goodbye.
BRENT peeks around the corner. He appears in front of
CORBIN, his eyes roll back into his head, and he falls
face-first onto the floor. There is a hatchet sticking out
of his back.
      (not very
What the fuck?
She kicks him in the side.


                       CORBIN (cont'd)
Get up you idiot, there are other
people in here.
BRENT is still. RACHEL walks around to her cubicle and
notices BRENT's motionless body on the ground. She screams
as she notices blood all over CORBIN's hands.
                       CORBIN (cont'd)
No! Wait, it's not what you think!
Get the fuck up, you asshole!
RACHEL runs off and calls the police. Several minutes later,
sirens are heard and police officers run in to find BRENT's
body and CORBIN looking terrified.
                       COP 1
      (into BRENT's ear)
They kick BRENT's body, and hit him in the skull with random
objects. They are confuzzled, and look up at CORBIN, who is
still terrified of the situation.
NO! He's not dead! I didn't do
The officers haul her off. Freeze frame.
CORBIN pops up in front of the freeze frame.
You really think that would have
                       CORBIN (cont'd)
I'm just fuckin' with ya.
We're taken back to BRENT falling on the ground, and the
coworker screaming.
No! Wait, it's not what you think!
Get the fuck up, asshole!
BRENT gets up and pulls the hatchet from his back. He shows
it to RACHEL. She rolls her eyes and walks away.


I swear that never gets old.
You're a dick, you know that?
A cute dick though, right?
No dick is cute.
He leans over and gives her a kiss.
Anyways, I just wanted to stop by
and say hi. I'm free later if you
want to do anything.
Maybe. It depends on how much work
I can get done.
                       CORBIN (cont'd)
Wait, why the fuck do I care?
Yeah, I'll see you later.
Ok, later.
He leaves. CORBIN sits at her desk and stares out the
window. She cracks a slight smile.
CORBIN is sitting at her desk, typing on the computer. Her
boss peers over the cubicle wall, and walks around to her
Corbin, I'd like to talk to you.
Please meet me in my office before
you leave for the day.
He walks away and CORBIN gives him the finger.


CORBIN meanders into her boss' office. He is sitting at his
desk fervently typing on his computer. He looks up and
notices her coming in, and motions for her to take a seat.
      (clasping his
       hands together)
Now, Corbin, you've managed to
slide under the radar for what..
five years now?
      (under her breath)
What was that?
I don't know what convinced you
that the little stunt your
boyfriend pulled this afternoon--
He's not my boyfriend.
Are you finished?
She stares at her shoes.
                       BOSS (cont'd)
What your 'friend' did earlier
today was inexcusable in a place
of business. If you want to play
practical jokes, join a circus.
While CORBIN's boss continues his diatribe, ballet dancers
start to tiptoe their way into his office. They dance all
around him, and tiptoe back out the way they came in. CORBIN
is trying to hide her laughter.


      (laughing hard)
She goes to punch her boss square in the face. The scene
freezes and CORBIN turns to find her exact double staring at
her from the corner of the room.
                       CORBIN'S TWIN
Don't you fucking dare.
What? Why?
                       CORBIN'S TWIN
We don't need to be getting into
this kind of trouble.
You're such a fucking pansy!
                       CORBIN'S TWIN
Please, don't make me stop you.
Oh, like you could.
CORBIN'S TWIN draws a sword and slices CORBIN in the throat.
She immediately gushes blood everywhere, and all over her
boss, still frozen in motion. She flails wildly and drops to
the floor, going into convulsions.
Are you listening to anything I'm
We're taken back to the original conversation. CORBIN's
imagination has run off for the past few minutes.
Sure, sure.
If you value your job, you won't
let that boy in here again. I'm
keeping my eye on you. Are we at
an understanding?
Aye aye, cap'n!
She salutes him.


Get out of here.
CORBIN exits.
CORBIN is sitting in an easy chair, reading a book. She
hears yelling and loud crashing coming from the house next
door. Peering through her blinds, she sees the elderly
couple who are her neighbors, fighting. She giggles at the
absurdity of two nearly-wheelchair-bound people on the verge
of blows, but her laughter is cut short by seeing the man
punch his wife in the face. CORBIN's eyes grow wide, and she
disappears from view. She returns to the window with a
camcorder, and sneakily tapes the tragic stabbing of the
elderly lady. She slinks down with her back against the
She heads for the bathroom. The door slams and we can hear
her throwing up.
She returns to the room and lies on the carpet, facing the
open room.
                       CORBIN (cont'd)
This isn't nearly as funny as I
thought it would be.
                       CORBIN'S TWIN
      (sitting on the
It never is. What were you
expecting? Flowers and rainbows?
I don't know.
                       CORBIN'S TWIN
You know, if you're really going
to be some tough chick who's
fascinated with death, you can't
be puking your guts out every time
you see someone getting stabbed.
Maybe that will be my trademark.
CORBIN is polishing her knife collection.


                       CORBIN (V.O.)
Knives are the one thing that keep
me somewhat sane. I can care for
them, and they don't ask too much
of me. And in one instant, if I
want to take a life, I can. Having
that kind of power is an amazing
rush. Not that I want to join the
likes of my neighbor Mr. Layhill,
or anything, but power is what we
all crave, right?
There is a knock at the front door. CORBIN is startled and
takes the knife with her. She opens the door to reveal BRENT
standing at the stoop.
What the fuck are you doing here?
He notices the knife in her hand.
Am I - interrupting something?
CORBIN takes a look at her knife. She glances over at her
twin, who is shaking her head disapprovingly. CORBIN hides
the knife behind her back nonchalantly.
No. Was just..shaving my legs.
Can I come in? There's something I
need to talk to you about.
What was so important that you had
to come over now?
Whoa. If you're going to be such a
bitch, maybe I should just leave.
No, wait. I'm sorry. Just been a
little... stressed out.
Sorry. Well, I've been trying to
figure this out for a few days
now, and I'm not really one to
wear my heart on my sleeve.


You're totally bizarre and have a
bit of an attitude, but I find
that really really hot. It's going
to take a complete weirdo to fall
in love with you, and I think I'm
that weirdo.
I don't know..
      (getting seriously
I come here to vomit my soul out
to you, and you just keep backing
off like it doesn't matter.
You want to know? You REALLY want
to know? I've been burnt in every
way imaginable from every guy I've
ever had feelings for. They get
close enough for me to let my
guard down, and then BAM! "You're
not good enough for me," "you're
not my type," "I was only using
you for sex." I just don't want to
fucking be hurt anymore.
She falls to her knees, crying. BRENT kneels down and
cradles her head. He lifts her chin up, kisses her forehead,
and grabs her by the hand. They sit on the couch and cuddle.
CORBIN looks up to see CORBIN'S TWIN in the background
standing at the boarded-up door trying to open the door.
                       CORBIN'S TWIN
It's jammed.
She pulls on the door some more.
                       CORBIN'S TWIN
      (still pulling)
It's stuck, but I think it will
loosen up over time.
CORBIN puts her head back on BRENT'S chest.


CORBIN and BRENT are preparing something outside of her
house. They are wearing latex gloves and carrying hand
trowels. They stuff mysterious paper bags into a duffel bag
and sneak off into the dark.
CORBIN is carrying a duffle bag down the street. They
approach a front lawn, and she reaches in her bag. She and
BRENT are busy arranging something on the lawn while the
voice over continues.
                       CORBIN (V.O.)
I don't do these things to be
mean. Well, not totally. I enjoy
watching people struggle and get
knocked off their high and mighty
With an evil grin, she runs to the front door, rings the
doorbell, and runs away. She hides behind a tree as she
watches ANGRY NEIGHBOR answer the door. Her face changes
from confusion to horror as she sees the phrase "Jesus
(hearts) You" spelled out on her lawn in dog feces.
                       CORBIN (cont'd)
I think we as humans spend too
much time puffing out our chests,
when we all have the same common
goals: Eat, fuck, die. I don't
want to be noticed any more than
the ants crawling on the ground
trying to survive from one day to
the next. Thankfully this hero
business finally blew over. I'm no
fucking hero. I just wanted to see
someone get stabbed.
BRENT looks at CORBIN and smiles broadly at what they've
                       CORBIN (cont'd)
Okay, so I'm starting to let my
guard down. I do kinda like the
dork. I still don't completely
trust him, but I think in time I
could. After all, I do need
someone to help me in my quest for
eternal mischief. And what good is
having the other half if they


                       CORBIN (cont'd)
can't do that?


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From Justin Hunter Date 6/6/2006 **1/2
Well from the beginning I would have given this a solid three, maybe 3.5. Unfortunately it took a weird turn from what the beginning lead me to believe. I loved the monologues from Corbin, but then the actual dialouge seemed to fall flat. It's not as believable as the monologue was. I liked the idea of corbin having this dark side, and was hoping to see it. When you sudenly had her doing "cheesy" things with Brent it killed it. I assume this isn't a finished piece, so with a little work I think this can be good. Don't mislead the reader in the beginning if Corbin isn't going to be as dark as she seems at first and things will be better.

From Allen Edwards Date 6/5/2006 ***
Very Interesting...IPersonally I think your girl character and my guy character, should be the next "Insaine killing duo"..Both have a few mind issues. However, sometimes reading a script can be confusing, as I was reading yours, a couple of times I couldn't figure out if she were having a dream or this is what she sees. However, quite interesting...

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