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D.12.23
by David R. Wilson (ieatyourfriends@yahoo.com)

Rated: PG   Genre: Drama   User Review: **
Jack Lund, an average college student, finds his life drastically thrown off balance by a group of mysterious criminals in this 8 page short.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



D.12.23

FADE IN:

EXT. COLLEGE DORM BUILDING - NIGHT
                                                            
Jack Lund is a college senior, with a strong build and long
brown hair. His clothes are mismatched and odd, he wears a
tie for a belt and saggs his cammo pants. He has an
unzipped black hood, and a dark black shirt. He stands
outside the school doors with his girlfriend. Thunder still
echoes in the distance. He leans in and she meats him
halfway with a pssionate kiss.
                                                            
                       JACK
      (whispers into her
       ear)
Night.
                                                            
Jack's girlfriend kisses him lightly on the cheek. and
brushes her fingers across his cheek.
                                                            
                       GIRL FRIEND
      (whispers)
Night, Jack.
                                                            
Jack's girlfriend turns and walks off into the rain, pulling
up her hood.
                                                            
CUT TO-
                                                            
Jack's fingers fiddle with the door handle and his keys
until it reluctantly clicks. Jack enters the dorm building.
                                                            
 
INT. DORM BUILDING - NIGHT
                                                            
Jack enters the elevator.
                                                            
CUT TO MS-
                                                            
Jack is riding up int the elevator when it stops. the doors
open.
                                                            
A man in a black coat with slicked black hair and shades
enters the elevator.
                                                            
The man is all wet, as if he had just entered the building.
                                                            
                       MAN 1
      (casually)
Hello.
                                                            

2.

Jack turns and scans him over.
                                                            
                       JACK
Hey.
                                                            
The elevatr dings and the man steps out. The doors close and
the elevator continues up.
                                                            
CUT TO-
                                                            
Jack exits the elevator and walks to his room across the
hall. He goes inside and closes the door.
                                                            
CUT TO CS-
                                                            
The other elevator door opens and the mysterious man stands
behind it. He steps forward.
                                                            
 
INT. JACK'S DORM - NIGHT
                                                            
Jack pockets his keys and flips the light switch. The power
stays off.
                                                            
                       JACK
      (annoyed)
Oh my god.
                                                            
Jack looks around the room.
                                                            
                       JACK
      (sighs)
Chris is out partying again. While
I stay here and study.
                                                            
Thunder claps through the sky.
                                                            
Jack turns around.
                                                            
CUT TO MS-
                                                            
The mysterious man stands inches away from Jack.
                                                            
                       MAN 1
Hello, Jack.
                                                            
The man begins to strangle Jack. Jack chokes for air,
desperately.
                                                            
CUT TO-
                                                            
Jack pushes the man, and he goes flying into the door.
                                                            

3.

CUT TO-
                                                            
Jack looks down at his hands in awe, wondering where he
achieved such strength. The man shrinks down inf front of
the door.
                                                            
                       JACK
      (thinking)
I'm not that strong...
                                                            
Jack walks forward and grabs the man by the scruff of his
shirt, lifting him into the air.
                                                            
CUT TO-
                                                            
Jack snarls.
                                                            
                       JACK (growls)
Who are you?
                                                            
The man says nothing and drops his head.
                                                            
Jack punches the man in the stomach, and the man groans.
                                                            
                       JACK (growls louder)
Who are you?!
                                                            
The man still gives no response and Jack tosses him to the
side.
                                                            
                       JACK (thinking)
wait till Chris sees some crumpled
man by the wall.
                                                            
Jack opens the door and steps out into the hall.
                                                            
 
INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT
                                                            
When Jack steps outside the coast is clear, but moments
later another mysterious black haired man rounds the corner.
                                                            
                       MAN 2
      (Looks down the
       other hall)
Hey, there he is!
                                                            
The third man comes around and glares at Jack before pulling
a gun from beneath his jacket.
                                                            

4.

CUT TO-
                                                            
Jack holds up his arms as a shield as the bullets ripple
through his clothing.
                                                            
CUT TO-
                                                            
Smashed bullet shells fall to the ground.
                                                            
CUT TO-
                                                            
                       JACK (thinking)
What the hell?
                                                            
CUT TO-
                                                            
The man drops his arm and stares in amazement and fear.
                                                            
                       MAN 3
      (scared)
What kind of monster is this kid?
                                                            
                       MAN 2
      (angry)
I don't care if he's satan's son!
Get him!
                                                            
Jack turns ands sprints down the hall.
                                                            
CUT TO-
                                                            
As Jack rounds the corner, the two mysterious men are
allready there. They fire bullets randomly in his
direction... most of them hit. Jack lowers his defenses and
sprints towards the men. He raises a fist and leaps into the
air, smacking down on Man 2. Then he back hands Man 3 and
the man falls to the floor.
                                                            
                       JACK
      (amazed)
what am I?
                                                            
Jack begins power walking down the hall, and behind him, the
two men get up.
                                                            
PUSH TO-
                                                            
Jack walks along the underground parking lot. His footsteps
echo off the concrete walls.
                                                            
Jack aproaches his car and pulls out his keys. The car beeps
as he unlocks it. He opens the door and gets inside.
                                                            

5.

CUT TO-
                                                            
In the passenger seat is the mysterious man. He holds a gun
to Jack's head. Jack freezes.
                                                            
                       MAN 2
Jack, let's talk.
                                                            
                       JACK
Who are you?
                                                            
                       MAN 2
The question you should ask is,
who are you?
                                                            
                       JACK
What am I?
                                                            
                       MAN 2
That's a question. What are you?
You are monster, Jack. A
frankenstein.
                                                            
                       JACK
What do you mean?
                                                            
                       MAN 2
      (Lifts up Jack's
       sleeve)
Reveal.
                                                            
An orange label appears on Jack's arm and glows
mysteriously. It reads D.12.23. Jack gazes at it as if he is
a dream.
                                                            
                       JACK
What is that?
                                                            
                       MAN 2
Your code. Identification. Jack,
you are a government experiment.
                                                            
                       JACK
That can't be true. My parents
would know! Someone would know!
                                                            
                       MAN 2
Your whole life is a set up.
You're the star of a very long
play. You were created in a
laboratory.
                                                            

6.

                       JACK
My whole life isn't real?
                                                            
                       MAN 2
Well, I'm sure your "Parents" have
become attatched to you after
caring for you all your life.
                                                            
                       JACK
Who are you? A government
official?
                                                            
                       MAN 2
No Jack. Of course not. Far from
it.
                                                            
                       JACK
But who are you?
                                                            
                       MAN 2
A criminal. I wan't your DNA Jack.
                                                            
The reality of his set up life begins to take effect and a
single tear dribbles down Jack's cheek.
                                                            
                       JACK
      (upset)
Why?
                                                            
                       MAN 2
So I can make myself the perfect
criminal. Jack, you have super
strength, you're bullet proof and
so much more.
                                                            
The man lowers his gun.
                                                            
                       JACK
What do I need to do?
                                                            
                       MAN 2
It's simple. Poor some of youre
blood into this vile.
                                                            
The man gives Jack an empty vile.
                                                            
For a moment their is silence.
                                                            
                       JACK
      (Growls)
Why should I?
                                                            
The criminal's eyes widen.
                                                            

7.

                       JACK
You can't even hurt me.
                                                            
CUT TO-
                                                            
Jack takes the man's head and smashes it into the car
window. Blood trickles down the glass.
                                                            
Jack gets out of the car.
                                                            
CUT TO-
                                                            
The other man is outside the car. Jack glares at him.
                                                            
CUT TO-
                                                            
Jack charges forward and punches at the man, but the man
catches his fist.
                                                            
                       JACK
      (surprised)
What?
                                                            
                       MAN 3
Tssk. Jack. I came prepared.
                                                            
                       JACK
how?
                                                            
                       MAN 3
      (reveals a metalic
       bracelet on his
       wrist.)
This. It dumbs your powers.
                                                            
Jack knees the man in the stomach and sprints the other
direction.
                                                            
CUT TO-
                                                            
JUack runs along with the great speed and agility. The
camera follows him.
                                                            
CUT TO-
                                                            
jack runs out into the pooring rain. He looks up at the sky
and falls to his knees.
                                                            
CUT TO-
                                                            
The man stays under the shield of the garage and holds out
his gun.
                                                            

8.

                       MAN 3
Given up, Jack?
                                                            
Jack rises tonhis feet and turns around. His eyes flash blue
and he darts forward.
                                                            
                       JACK
Never!
                                                            
Suddenly Jack dissapears.
                                                            
CUT TO-
                                                            
The amn looks around in circles, like a rodent aware of a
predator.
                                                            
                       MAN 3
Where'd you go Jack?
                                                            
CUT TO-
                                                            
jack is standing right behind the man.
                                                            
                       JACK
I'm right here.
                                                            
jack wraps his arm around the man's neck and for several
moments the amn struggles.
                                                            
                       JACK
You chose the wrong guy to mess
with.
                                                            
The man falls limp and Jack drops him onto the cold floor.
                                                            
CUT TO FS-
                                                            
Jack drops his head. The man lays dead in the parking lot.
                                                            
 
EXT. PARK - DAY
                                                            
the sun has just begun to rise, casting golden and orange
tints spiraling across the horizon like fingers reaching out
to the world. Jack sits on the rim of a fountain, glaring
out at the yellow clouds. His hair drifts in the breeze.
                                                            
Jack looks down into his palm in thought.
                                                            
                       JACK
      (whispers)
I have a feeling my life is about
to become drastiucally different.
                                                            


THE END


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From Jason Shanahan Date 8/20/2006 *1/2
The story is average but it needs a new name. It was fairly entertaining however.

From James Mecker Date 7/25/2006 *
Aside from the spelling and grammar errors, the story just feels like it's been told a million times before. Maybe if you put a different twist on the tale, that would liven it up a bit.

From Brad Smith Date 7/24/2006 **
The story is alright I guess. The grammar is pretty sloppy though. Alot of things misspelled.

From Vanessa McKinney Date 7/22/2006 ****
This very entertaining I wish there was more to the story than this!

From Brian Chidueme Date 7/21/2006 *
You need to correct some errors. Punctuation always counts. Remember that a "CUT TO" only exists in a shooting script, and you forgot to capitalize a lot. There are also errors in the expression directions, too. For further help, read David Trottier's "The Screenwriter's Bible", or "How not to Write a Screenplay".

From Dylan Date 7/20/2006 ****
Great ideas this would be a must see.


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