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Love Made to Order
by frank lamont liles (bobbydeberry@yahoo.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review:

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.

A variety of sites and landmarks are shown from the city of
Chicago. The camera zooms in on an apartment building. The
camera moves upward; showing the skyline. The camera stops
at a window and pans in into the apartment of Derek and
Jason. Derek is lawyer working for a prestigious firm in
Chicago. He is known by his friends as a ladies's man. He
is willing to try anything to get a woman. Jason is an
junior executive for an advertising firm in Chicago. He's
in a relationship with a woman he truly loves and wants to
marry. It shows Derek gathering his keys and heading out
of the apartment.Derek is locking the door to the apartment.
He heads to the elevator. He sees a beautiful young lady
also waiting for the elevator. Derek starts a small
conversation with her.
Hey beautiful. Do you come here
The young lady's name is Ash. She's a very attractive woman.
She just moved into the building. She is trying of moving
all of her belongings into her new apartment. She tries to
ignore the cheesy come-ons of Derek's. She is getting upset
because the elevator is taking to long,she's tired and hot,
and she don't like the cheesy pick up lines of Derek. There
is an awkward moment of silence between them.
Did you just move in? Cause I
would remember a person as
beautiful as yourself.
Look I don't have the time or the
energy to listen to any more of
your cheesy pick-up lines. So
will you please leave me alone.
Sure, no problem. You don't have
to bite my head off. I was just
trying to be a good neighbor. What


                       DEREK (cont'd)
makes you think that I was trying
to pick you up?
Cause you men are all alike. See
a woman and automatically you feel
the need to hit on her.
For one, not every man tries to
hit on every woman he sees.
Second, I wouldn't date you
Why is that?
I don't date ugly women.
Who in the hell are you calling
ugly? A few minutes ago, you were
saying that I was beautiful. Now
you're calling me ugly. Why cause
I didn't fall for you cheap wack
ass lines?
You just don't get it, do you?.
You got a banging body. And you
have one of the sexiest smiles I
have ever seen. But your
personality sucks. I was only
trying to be friendly and you gets
an attitude with me.
Ash becomes silent for a short moment. Then, she realize
that she was treating Derek a little harsh.
Please forgive me. I didn't mean
to offend you. It's just I'm
really tired from moving in. And
when most guys talk to me they
only want one thing.


What's that? To get you in bed?
In bed. In a public bathroom.
Anywhere they possible can.
That's not necessarily true. Take
us for instance. All I wanted was
to was a chance to get to know you
better as a person. And if we had
sex, great. I mean what man would
turn down sex.
What if it doesn't lead to any
If it don't, then it don't. I'm
ok with being just friends with a
Really. So what was you trying to
do-get to know me better or get to
know me better?
All I wanted was to get to know
you better. But if it came off
that I was trying to get into your
pants, then I'm sorry.
No. I'm the one that owes you an
apology. Its just that I'm tired
from moving all day. And I can
turn into a real bitch when I'm
That's ok. I understand. So what
apartment did you move into, umm?
Sorry, I never caught your name.


Oh, my name is Ashley, but
everyone calls me Ash. And I stay
in apartment 1113
My name is Derek(Derek offers her
handshake and they shake hands.
Derek notices that she is not
wearing a wedding ring)I stay
across the hall. So if you need
anything, just stop by and give me
a holla.
Thanks, I'll do that. (pause)
Maybe we could hang out sometime?
I would like that. You could come
to the party me and my roommate
are throwing in a couple of weeks.
That is if you are not too busy
or anything.
Maybe I will.(pause) What's
taking this damn elevator so long?
Derek looks at the elevator buttons and realize that Ashley
did not push the down button.
It work better if you hit the
Derek lens forward and push the down button. The elevator
arrives shortly after Derek presses the button. The
elevator doors open. A man is on the elevator.
I guess it does.
Derek holds open the elevator to let Ash get on the elevator


      (soft voice)
Nice ass.
Huh? What did you say?
Derek gets on the elevator and the door closes. In the
elevator with Ash and Derek is an old man. The old man has
a cane in his hand. He is wearing a hat. Now, they are
going down in the elevator.
                       OLD MAN
What floor?
(to the man)First floor please.
Thank you. (to Ash) I said Ice
What is the Ice Glass?
                       OLD MAN
It's a club downtown where girls
be shaking their ass like there is
no tomorrow.
Derek and Ash looks at the old man in a funny way.
                       OLD MAN
What? An old man can't go out and
looking for women. You young
bucks act like I don't know how to
get down. Watch this.
Old man drops his cane and starts dancing.
                       OLD MAN
This is right here is what brings
the ladies to home.
Sir is this your stop?


The old man unfasten his belt and unbutton his pants. While
continuing to dance, he drops his pants to the floor;
wearing some chessy boxers. After a minute or two, the
elevator door opens.
                       OLD MAN
Oh it is. (to Derek)Didn't I tell
tell you those young chics love my
The old man places his finger on the button to keep the door
open. Derek bends down to pick up his cane.
                       OLD MAN
I think I hurt my back. (to Ash)
Could you be a dear help me?
Sure thing.
Ash bends down in front of the old man, with her facing him,
to help pull up his pants. Once she is bent down in front
of him, the old man starts jirating his hips in from of her.
                       OLD MAN
Oh my. It looks like you woke up
the one-eyed snake.
The elevator door is still open. A couple and their ten
year old son walks up to the elevator. Shock by what she
see, the woman cover the eyes of her son. Ash quickly gets
up and button the old man's pants
                       SON #1
Hey mom what were they doing?
She was looking for a wistle to
                       SON #1
Mom, she can blow my whistle.
The boy reaches in his pocket and pulls a whistle out of his
pocket. He tries to hand the whistle to Ash. The mother
snatches the whistle out of his hand.


That's ok. I think one whistle is
all she needs(pause). I think
we'll take the stairs.
The woman quickly snatches her son to the stairs. The
husband stands at the elevator.
Could ya'll video tape the rest of
this for me? I stay in apartment
Henry come on.
Henry runs to the stairwell. Derek then hands the old man
his cane.
                       OLD MAN
I told those young chics fall in
love with me. You see how your
girl was checking me out. You can
change a players game in the ninth
I see that. Maybe you should ask
for her telephone number.
                       OLD MAN
Naw. I'm gonna let you have this
The old man gets off the elevator singing
                       OLD MAN
If loving me is wrong, they don't
wanna be right.
The elevator doors close. Now, its only Derek and Ash in
the elevator. Derek starts laughing.


What's so funny?
Derek stops laughing. Then, he starts back laughing. A
strand of Ash's hair falls in front of her face. She
brushes the hair back with her hand. For some reason or
another, this turns Derek on. Derek becomes frozen by Ash's
What is so funny. You laughing
about that old man, aren't you?
Actually, I was thinking about
this scene I saw in a movie. Have
you seen "Gone with the Wind"?
Not since high school.
So, I guess you don't remember the
elevator scene?
There was no elevator scene in
"Gone with the Wind". They didn't
have elevators back then.
Yes there was. Did you see the
director's version on DVD?
Then I guess you didn't see the
elevator scene.


Well, I guess I didn't. Tell me
about it.
Sure, no problem. There was this
guy and this girl stucked in the
elevator(push the button to stop
the elevator. Then he stands in
front of Ash)Then, he glazed into
her eyes. (Derek stares into Ash's
What happen next?
He kissed her.(Derek kisses Ash)
Derek and Ash continue kissing and starts making out in the
elevator. She drops her purse. Derek reaches under her
skirt (or dress) and slides down her panties to the floor.
Ash steps out of her panties. Ash starts unbuttoning
Derek's shirt and kissing his chest. Next, she unfasten his
belt and undo his pants. Then, she slide down his pants and
boxers. She starts back kissing Derek and then she pulls
I got something for you
What is it?
You'll see
Ash bends down and picks up her purse. She is looking
through her pursue for something.
Where are they? I know I put them
in here.(pause) Ah, Here it is.
Ash reaches in her purse and pull out a highlighter and some


You're a real freak. What are you
gonna do with that? Draw on my
ass, cause I know good and well
your not sticking that in my butt.
Ash reaches back into her purse and pull out three condoms.
The condom wrappers are attached to each other.
Oh. I think we might be needing
A smile and quiet laugh appears on Ash's face.
You make me laugh
I don't know about the man you
been with, but when I'm naked from
waist to knee, "you make me laugh"
is something I don't want to hear.
Ash leans forward and kisses Derek. They start back making
out in the elevator. Ash starts to caressing Derek below
the waist.
Oh yes. Oh my God. That feels so
good. Oh
Derek gets so excited that he prematurely climax. He stares
into Ash's face.
Me too. And I knew there wasn't
any elevator scene in Gone with
the Wind.
They start back getting dressed. Derek bends over and picks
up Ash's panties. Then, he hands them to Ash. Ash snatches


her panties away from Derek. She puts on her panties. Ash
starts the elevator back up. There is an awkward moment of
Hey, I need to ask you something
Ask me what? Not to tell anyone
about this because this never
happen to you before.
No it happen before. I was just
wondering could I get those
condoms. I'm all out.
Ash reluctantly hands Derek the condoms.
Thanks. (pause) Since you mention
it, could we keep this just
between the two of us.
Ash looks at Derek. The elevator doors open. Ash walks out
of the elevator. Derek walks out after her. He catches up
with her and grabs her on the arm.
Well( Ash gives him a look and he
let go of her arm.) Sorry
(pause.) Are you gonna keep this
our little secret?
Speedy, I might keep this between
the two of us or I might go and
tell all my friends. I haven't
decide yet.(She turns to walk away
from Derek, but then turns back
towwards him.) And another thing,
if you are gonna use a movie to
pick up a girl use "Gone in Sixty
Seconds", it describes you better.
Ash walks over to a friend she was suppose to meet in the


lobby. Derek is left there standing in disbelief for a few
seconds. Then, he head back to the elevator. A few minutes
later, Jason walks up to Derek. They see each other.
Just getting back? Its almost
Yeah, I know. And boy am I tired.
Nobody told you spend your entire
Saturday at work.
I had to get the proposal for the
Nike account done before Monday.
What are you doing downstairs? I
thought you were gonna spend all
day drinking and watching the
It was halftime, so I came
downstairs to get the mail
      (holding the mail
       in his hand)
I got the mail right here.
Ash and her friends walk out of the apartment building. She
waves good-bye to Derek. Derek waves back. Jason sees
Who was that?
The elevator door opens and people gets off the elevator
Who was what?
The girl you was waving at.


Jason and Derek gets on the elevator.
Oh. her. That was just Ash, our
new neighbor. By the way, we're
throwing a party in two weeks.
The elevator door closes.
The elevator door opens. Jason and Derek are on the floor
of their apartment. As they walk out of the elevator to
their apartment, they are carrying on a small conversation.
Are you going to the club with us
Naw. Me and Melissa planned on
going to see a late movie.
Call her and make up some excuse
and hang out with us.
Derek gets to the door and unlock it. They walk into the
I can't. She really want to see
this movie.
I ain't whipped.
You really don't want to see this
movie. You just doing cause
Melissa wants to see it.
For one, I want to spend some time
with Melissa. Second, I really


                       JASON (cont'd)
don't want to go to the club. And
three, I really want to see this
Sure you do. What's the name of
this movie?
I don't know. Some comedy
starring that guy from the
insurance commericals chasing
after Jennifer Lopezs.
Just what I thought. Whipped.
Strung out. You want to go the
movie more than she do.
How you figure that?
She didn't say ya'll had any plans
when she stopped by.
When she stop by? She knew I was
gonna be in the office all day.
She stopped by twice. The first
time, she came to pick up a jacket
and left. And she said she would
give you a call later. Then she
came back with a gym bag.
How long did she stay?
The first time she said about five
minutes. The second time, I
couldn't tell you. She was coming
as I was going out.


Well, I'll talk to her when she
get here. Right now, I gotta take
care of the three S's
Derek looks at Jason as he doesn't knows what he's talking
Shit, shower, shave.
Jason walks into his room. Derek walks into the kitchen. He
sees that there are messages on the answering machine. He
goes over to the answering machine and press the play
                       ANSWERING MACHINE
You have new two messages. The
first message was sent today at
11:00 AM.
Jason, are you there? Pick up if
you there. I'm doing my laundry
today and I'm coming to get some
of my clothes I left over there.
While I'm over there, I'll get
your jacket and take it to the
cleanser for you. Well, talk to
you later. I love you.
OH. That is so sweet.
                       ANSWERING MACHINE
Your second message was sent today
at 1:30 PM.
Jason, you lying son of a bitch.
How could you do this to me. I
found that sluth's number in your


                       MELISSA (cont'd)
jacket. I hope you burn in hell
for this.
Get off the phone. You're drunk.
You don't know what you're saying
right now.
(to Ash)Damn you. And I ain't
drunk. ( to Jason)I could you do
this to me. To us. i thought you
was better than those other guys.
But you just as bad. I'm gonna
make your ass feel the same pain
as I feeling right now.
off the answering machine. Derek walks into Jason's room.
In the bathroom.
Jason walks to the bathroom's doorway. He opens the door
and stands in the doorway talking to Jason. Jason is in the
bathroom brushing his teeth
Hey, Jason you know you still can
come hang out with us if you don't
go to the movies.
Ok, but me and Melissa are going
to see a movie.
Are you sure you and Melissa are
still going to the movie?


Yes. Why?
Cause she left you a message on
the machine and she sounds pretty
upset with you. She doesn't want
to see you anymore.
Jason finishes brushing his teeth and spits out the
toothpaste. He reaches for his mouth wash.
Yeah right.
Jason opens the mouth wash and pour some of it in his mouth.
He is gurgling the mouth wash in his mouth. He realize it
taste different. He spits out the mouthwash.
This is.
Jason smells the bottle of mouthwash.
This is piss. Did you put piss in
my mouthwash?
No, but I think I know who could
have done it.
Melissa. I told you she wasn't
happy when she came here the
second time.
Jason gives Derek a look of disbelief.


Don't look at me like that. You
know she could have done it.
Besides, she is mad at you.
She's not mad at me. And if she
is, we'll talk about it tonight,
after the movie.
Jason makes his way to the door. He starts to close the
door, but Derek is standing in the doorway. Derek is trying
to keep the door open and finish the conversation. but
Jason has other plans.
Make sure you talk to Melissa
about this.
I will, but right now get out.
I've got use the bathroom.
Jason pushes Derek out of the bathroom and closes the door.
Jason sits down on the toilet. He picks up a magazine from
the magazine rack in the bathroom, right beside the toilet.
He picks up a can of air freshener and sprays the bathroom.
Then, he continues to read the magazine. When done, Jason
tries to get up from the toilet, but he cannot. He sees a
small tube of glue sitting on the bathroom counter. Jason
starts calling out to Derek.
Derek. Derek. Come here.
Derek is comes to see what Jason wants. He is now standing
on the other side of the door.
Come in here and help me out.


I ain't coming in there to help
you wipe your ass. I'm gonna go
get ready for tonight.
Wait. I need you to help me get
off the toilet.
Somehow, I got glued to the toilet
seat and I can't get up.
Derek tries to open the door. BUT THE DOOR IS LOCKED.
I can't get in. The door is
Go get something to pick the lock.
Derek looks around in Jason's room until he finds something
to pick the lock. Deerek goes to the door and tries to
unlock the door. DEREK UNLOCKS THE DOOR. Derek opens the
door. He sees Jason sitting on the toilet. Derek gives
Jason a look of disbelief. Derek walks over to the tiolet
to get a closer look. He bends down to see if Jason is
really is glued to the toilet seat.
      (in an animated
What are you doing?
To see if your really are stuck.


No. I'm setting here because I
like to feel the water splash on
my ass everytime I flush. Get me
off this thing.
Derek walks closer to Jason. He checks out the situation
and then he leaves the bathroom.
Where are you going?
Just wait right there. It ain't
like you can go anywhere.
Hurry up.
A few minutes pass. Derek returns with a stick of butter in
his hand. He starts rubbing the butter on Jason's leg and
What are you doing?
Trying to weaken the glue with the
butter. Why? DO you Have a
better idea?
Alright than. Lend forward a
little more.
Jason lends forward just a little. Derek rubs more butter
on his backside. Jennifer has entered the apartment without
them knowing. She hear Jason's and Derek's voice coming
from the bathroom. Jennifer walks in and see Derek greasing
Jason's backside.


What's going in here?
I'm trying to get Jason off.
I see. I can come back later if
you want some privacy.
No. I'm glued to the toilet.
How did you get glued to the
Long story.
Why did she do this?
They broke up.
Why did you break up?
We didn't break up.
Derek nods his head yes.
Can we talk about that later.
Right now, I'm glued to the toilet
and I'm getting a cramp in my ass.
Derek stands directly in front of Jason.
Wrap your arms around me.


Jason wraps his arm tightly around Derek.
On the count of three, I'm gonna
pull you up.
Derek snatches Jason off the toilet seat at the count of
two. JASON LETS OUT A BIG SCREAM. Jason and Derek is
standing there in the bathroom. And Jennifer is still
I thought you was gonna go on
Sorry. The next time you get
glued to the toilet. we'll go on
Jennifer is staring at Jason, who pants are still down
around his ankles.
If that's all you got, I see why
Melissa left you.
Jason quickly grabs his pants and pulls them up.
It wasn't because of that.
Besides, the seat was cold. And
we're not broke up.
Fine. I'll prove it too. I'll
call her and let her tell you.


I think you should listen to her
messages first.
They all head into the kitchen. Derek brings the stick of
butter with him. They arrives in the kitchen. Jason and
Jennifer goes to the telephone in the kitchen. Derek opens
the refrigdator to put the butter back in it.
What are you doing?
Putting the butter back. We still
can use it.
Throw that away. That's been on
my ass.
Derek throws the butter away. Then, he walks over to the
speaker of the answering machine. Jason rewinds the tape on
the answering machine. Now, Jason starts playing the tape.
Talk to you later. I love you
See i told you.
Fast forward the tape a little.
Jason forwards the tape a little. Then, he hits the play
I gonna make your ass feel the
same pain you made me feel. I
wish you were in hell.


A depressed look appears on Jason's face. He picks up the
phone and trys to call Melissa. As he is dialing the
number, he is walking towards his room.
Melissa, pick up the phone. We
need to talk.
Derek leaves the kitchen to go get ready for the club.
Jennifer goes in to the living room to watch tv. She sits
on the counch and flash through the channels until she finds
something interesting on tv. Derek has showered and
changed clothes. About fifteen minutes pass, Derek walks
into the living room.
Ready to go?
Yeah. Are you gonna leave Jason
here by himself?
I can ask him if he wants to go.
Derek walks to Jason's room.DEREK KNOCKS ON JASON'S ROOM
DOOR. Jason opens the door and walks out. He is looking
depressed as he walks to put the phone back on its based.
I was just coming to ask you if
you wanna go out with us. Did you
get touch with Melissa?
Some guy picked up the phone. He
said she didn't want to talk to me
then hung up the phone.
Jason walks to the sofa and flops down right beside
Jennifer. He takes the remote comtrol out of her hands. He
starts going through the channels..


You should come hang out with us.
Nawh. Ya'll go without me. I
think I'll stay home and watch tv.
Then, we'll stay here with you.
We will? But I just change
clothes. (looks at Jennifer and
she gives him this look) Fine.
We'll stay here with you.
No. You go and have fun. I don't
need a babysitter.
We know you don't. We just wanna
be here just in case you need
someone to talk to. Besides, you
gonna need someone to rub cream
on your sore bottom.
I ain't touching anybody's ass in
here. Well, maybe Jennifer's
Then, we can give you a facial
while you eat ice cream. And
after that, we can help you do
your nails.
Well, I might feel my own ass. I
just like the way they feel in
these pants.
Jason, what I'm trying to say here
is that you don't have to go
through this alone. We are gonna


                       JENNIFER (cont'd)
be here for you no matter what.
But how do you want to handle this
is up to you. You can sit here on
the sofa and feel sorry for
yourself for the rest of the
night. Or you could go change and
hang out with us. Let me ask you
something. Was you and Melissa in
an exclusive relationship?
Yeah, I thought we was.
Well, this might be a test couples
go through.
I'm sure she's not sitting at home
crying over you. She 's probably
already moved on.(pause) What I'm
trying to say is that its apparent
that she's moved on . Why
shouldn't you? So come with us to
see if you can find someone. Or
just to take your mind off her.
You're right. Well, Jennifer
you're right. This is just a
little bump in the road. We'll be
back together in no time. I'm go
to the club with you.
That's what I'm talking about. Now
hurry up and get dressed.
Jason gets up and heads to his room; to change clothes.
Do you think they are gonna get
back together?
Not a chance in hell.


Jennifer and Derek are on the dance floor. Jennifer is
dancing with some guy. Derek is dancing with some young
lady. Jason is standing at the edge of the dance floor with
a drink in his hand. Jason sees a young lady that he things
is Melissa. The young lady has her back towards Jason.
Jason makes his way through the crowded dance floor until he
is directly behind the girl. Jason taps the girl on the
We need to talk.
The girl slowly turns around to see who is talking to her.
Sorry. I thought you were someone
I know.
                       WOMAN #1
I could be if you want.
Really now?
She places a little card, the size of a business card, into
Jason's hand.
                       WOMAN #1
Here's my number. Give me a call
sometime soon.
A guy walks up to Jason and the young woman.
What are you doing talking to my
                       WOMAN #1
He thought I was his girlfriend.
If I didn't know any better I
think you were trying to pick up
my girl.


Look, I'm not trying to hit on
your girl. It just an honest
Do you think that I'm stupid?
The guy is about to take a swing at Jason, but the girl
grabs his arm. Derek sees what's happening from across the
dance floor. He starts to make his way over there.
I knew it.
That you were stupid?
No. That you were trying to pick
up my girl. You keep opening your
mouth and I'm gonna shut it for
Derek has made his way over there.
Is there a problem here?
Not really. Dumbass thinks I'm
trying to pick up his girl.
                       WOMAN #1
Its just a big misunderstanding.
Its gonna be a big
misunderstanding when I break my
foot off in his ass.
The guy steps closer to Jason. Derek steps in between the
Jason and the guy.


We don't need any fighting in
here. (to the man)Why don't you
go dance with your beautiful, but
unavailable girlfriend. (to
Jason)And you come with me.
Derek pulls Jason away from the couple. As Jason is pulled
away, he looks back at the girl. She gives him a signal;
telling him to call her. Jason and Derek is having a
conversation as they make their way through the crowd.
You need to stop trying to pick up
other guy's girlfriends.
For one, I wasn't trying to pick
her up. She gave me her number.
You know me. Do you think I would
go pick up a girl with her
boyfriend right there?
Ok. Then what was the real
I thought. I thought she was
Look, I know you love Melissa but
you can't
Jason walks away quickly from Derek; towards a girl. She
looks like Melissa from the back.
run after every girl that looks
like Melissa
Jason reaches the girl and touches her on the shoulder. The
girl turns around. It's Melissa.


We need to talk.
I don't have anything to stay to
Melissa starts to walk away, but Jason grabs her arm.
Were you going. We need to talk.
A guy,Ed, walks up to Jason and Melissa.
Melissa, is this guy bothering
Why don't you go somewhere else.
This don't concern you.
It does concern me when you mess
with my date.
What did you have for breakfast
this morning? a bowl of dumbass.
Yes, date.
Didn't you get the message I left
Yeah, that's why I need to talk to
Then, you need to talk to the
whore who's number I found in your
jacket. Come on Ed, I think its


                       MELISSA (cont'd)
a little to crowded in here for my
I think so too.
Melissa and Ed head for the exit. Jason is shock and
confused by the departure of Melissa. Depressed by Melissa
leaving, Jason heads for the bar. He sits down at the bar
and orders a drink.
Can I get a beer?
The bartender hands Jason a beer. Derek walks over to the
bar to talk to Jason.
Where did you go?
I went over to talk to Melissa.
Melissa here? Where she at? Why
ain't you talking to her?
I can't
Why not?
She's gone. She left with her
Yeap. She was on a date.
Sorry to hear that. I know how
much you care about Melissa. But


                       DEREK (cont'd)
look at it like this if she gonna
go ahead and move on with her
life. You should do the same.
I don't think I'm want to move on.
Let's be real about this. Melissa
has moved on. Do you want to
spend the rest of your life alone
waiting for her to change her
The old man from the apartment building walks into the club
with two women on his arm. He walks pass Jason and Derek.
                       OLD MAN
What's up, player?
What are you doing here old man?
Ain't it pass your bedtime?
                       OLD MAN
Getting down how I live. See you
out on the dance floor.
Old man and his lady friends walk out onto the dance floor.
Now if old school can get women
like that, I know you can.
For once you're right. I just
gotta get back out in the game and
try to find someone.


Jason walks on the dancefloor. He approachs different women
with different pick up lines. Each one of the women rejects
him. He gets fustrated and goes back to the bar. There's a
man sitting near Jason who's having the same trouble with
I see you too are ahving a tough
night with the ladies. What can
you do? Buy one off the internet.
A look comes on Jason's face as if he's really interested in
trying to find a woman on the internet.
Jason is sitting at the desk in his office. He is looking
at this website that allows you to order brides online. His
door is slightly ajarred. THERE IS A KNOCK AT HIS DOOR.
Come in.
Derek and Jennifer walks into Jason's office. They are
casually dressed. While entering into the office, they are
carrying on a conversation with Jason. Eventually, they
take seat in the chairs in his office.
Are you ready for dinner?
I'm kinda busy right now. Go
ahead and I'll catch up with you
What you working on? The reports
are completed and ready for


I'm going over the reports for the
Johnson and Johnson account. Ted
said there might be an error in
the final calculations.
I talked to Ted this afternoon. He
said everything was ok. What are
you really working on?
Fine. I'm really looking to buy
something off the internet.
Derek and Jennifer look at each other. They both think
Jason is lying to them.
What are you buying? Are you
buying one of those blow up dolls.
You don't need to get that off
the internet. Just go to
Chamber's at the mall, they have
them really cheap.
Jason and Jennifer look at Derek.
What? I went in there once to
used the bathroom.
No. Its nothing like that. Its
something personal, but its
nothing sexual. And I don't want
to talk about it.
Then, why won't you tell us what
you're getting. Fine, I come over
there and see for myself.
Jennifer quickly gets out of her chair. She goes to the


other side of the desk to see what Jason is trying to hide.
Jason closes the window before she gets over there. Jason
tries to close the labtop. She gets to Jason's labtop
before he can close it. A smile comes over Jason's face.
You must forgot we took a computer
class together in college. All I
have to do is this right here.
(She presses a few buttons and
window reappears on the screen).
Now, let's see what you was trying
to keep us from seeing. This is a
website for getting brides off the
internet. Are you thinking of
gettting a bride off the internet?
You are planning to get a bride
of the internet.
Yeah. It beats wasting time in
meaningless relationships looking
for the one. When you can just
pick one of the web.
Let me see this.
Derek gets out of his seat and walks to the other side of
the desk. He reads the computer screen.
Melissa already got your mind
messed up. A few days without her
and you're already looking for
desperate women off the internet.
Look Jason, you'll never find true
love off the internet. Are you
looking for love or just sex?
Does it really matter? Besides,
it doesn't matter where you find
love as long as you find it.


What if you get your wife and the
two of you don't get along?
That's no problem. I got a
guaranteed trial period. If I
don't like the girl I ordered
after thirty days, I just send her
Don' t you know that most of the
women on the internet looking for
love are either fat or ugly or
For one, I'm tired of going to the
club and bar hopping looking for
women. This way I can get the
perfect woman for me without the
hassle. And second, they have
pictures on this website.
Really. But are they reall their
pictures? Its easy for them to
put somebody's else picture up
They'll refund your money if you
are not satified. And if the
woman uses someone's else picture
the will give you a two hundred
percent refund. So its a win-win
So how does this work?
Just go to the search page. And
fill out the qualifications you
want. Then click on the find


                       JASON (cont'd)
button. And it'll come back with
a list of women with their
pictures and bios.
Don't you find this degrading to
Not really. They are looking for
a husband and I'm looking for a
wife. We are just cutting out all
the hassle of dating. So, I
don't think its really degrading
Me either. Click on that one
right there.
Derek points to one of the women on the screen. Jason
clicks the link to the woman's personal page. The personal
page comes on the screen. The camera zooms in on the screen
of the computer.
Man, she's hot.
Yeah. And it says she's is very
flexible and willing to try
anything especially when it comes
to sex. She's everything you look
for in a woman.
Jason, can you order this one for
Are you getting involved with this
online bride nonsense, too?
Why not? Jason said you get a
thirty day trial period. And if


                       DEREK (cont'd)
we don't get along, I'll just send
her back.
Sure. I'll place your order with
Where's the one you gonna order
for yourself?
Jason clicks on a couple of links and its goes to a picture
and bio of Tierra
Her right there.
Will you two please order these
women so we can go and get
something to eat?
Fine. Just give me a few minutes.
Jason orders the women online, but the website is having
techincal problems and will not let them send their orders
what's wrong?
The website won't let me send in
the order online. I guess we just
have to fax in the order. Could
you go get the forms from the
Jason sends two order forms; one for each woman
respectively. Derek goes to the printer. THE PRINTER
PRINTS OUT THE TWO FORMS. Derek gets the form and brings
them back to Jason's desk. Derek hands Jason one form and
keep the other for himself. Jason unknowingly fills out the
form with Desiree's name and ID number. Derek unknowingly
fills out the form with Tierra's name and ID number on it.


Go ahead and send the faxes while
I log off.
Derek walks over to the fax machine and sends the letters.
Jason logs off his computer. They wait till the fax has
been sent.
Ok, fax sent. Let's go and get
something to eat.
They leave Jason's office.
Jason and Derek are sitting on the couch. They are watching
a game on tv. THE DOORBELL RINGS. They look at each other.
Neither one want to get the door.
Get the door. You're closer.
Jason gets up and walk to the door. Jason opens the door
and a delivery guy is standing at the door.
I have a delivery for Jason Starks
and Derek Morris.
Derek walks to the door.
Ok, that's us.
This one is for Jason Starks.
Desiree walks into the apartment carrying a suitcase.
And this one is for Derek Morris.


Tierra walks into the apartment carrying a suitcase.Jason
and Derek look at each other with confused looks on their
But I ordered her(pointing to
And I ordered her(pointing to
We're not taking anything we
didn't order.
Look, your names are on the order
form. I don't decide what gets
shipped, I just make the delivery.
All I can do is take both of them
back with me and you'll still be
charged for the ladies plus an
additional three hundred dollars
return fee. Or you can keep both
of them and call the company to
work out an arrangement if there
is an error on their behalf. Now
can both of you please sign these
delivery forms.
The delivery guy hands Jason and Derek the shipping forms.
Feeling like they hav no other choice, they sign the
shipping forms. They hand the papers back to the delivery
Thank you.
The delivery guy leaves the apartment.
You ladies can take a seat, if you
Tierra and Desiree sit down on the sofa.


while we try to figure this out.
Jason and Derek isloate themselves from the girls; so they
can had a private conversation about the situation. As they
are talking, they are looking at the forms they are signing
What did you do with the order
forms we faxed to the agency?
Still in my briefcase. You go get
the order forms out of my
briefcase while I call the agency.
Derek goes into the Jason's room to get the forms out of the
briefcase. Jason picks the up the telephone and calls the
agency. He gets the number off the shipping form.
Hello. Yes, me and my roommate
just receive the brides we ordered
from your agency and you shipped
us the wrong ones. You sent the
one he ordered to me. And the one
he ordered was sent to me. My
name is Jason Starks. Starks.
Derek walks out of Jason's room. He is reading the forms as
he walk out of the room. He walks up to Jason who is still
on the telephone.
She got me on hold right now.
I think they sent us the right
ones. You filled out the form
with Desiree's name and ID number.
And I filled out the one with
Derek hands the forms to Jason. Jason looks at the forms.


      (to the lady on
       the telephone)
Miss it seems that we made a
mistake and ordered the wrong one.
Is there anyway you could switch
our ordrers on your computer. I
see. Thank you.
Jason hangs up the telephone
What she say?
She said she don't have the
authority to change our orders
over the phone. She said that we
can call back tomorrow morning and
talk to a manager. But, she says
that they will tell us to wait the
thirty days and send them back.
We could go down to their local
office and talk to someone there.
Yeah, but their closest office is
in Portland, Brazil. Do you
really want to go through all that
trouble for a fifteen minute
That means we have to get
passports. I have clear my
schedule for a few day. Go get a
passport. And cancel my yoga
class. That's too much trouble.
Why don't we keep the one they
sent us . And if we don't like
her , just sent her back and
reorder when the thiirty days are


Or we could simply just trade and
tell nobody.
I don't think that would be fair
to the girls. I mean Tierra was
trained to like what you like. And
Desiree was trained to like what
you like.
You're just saying that cause
Tierra has a better body.
No. I'm saying we messed up. Why
should they have to pay for our
Fine then. Lets go learn more
about our new brides.
Jason and Derek walks into the living room. They sit down
and talks to Desiree and Tierra.
We decide that we will keep the
one that was sent to us. Desiree.
Tierra, I'm Jason and thia is
Derek. Since you are gonna be
here for at least thirty days, we
would like to know more about you.
I think I can speak also for
Tierra when I say this. We like
whatever you like.
I think I'm gonna love this.
No. We alrady know what we like.
We want to know what you like.


Well, I like black and white
movies, basketball,I'm a big fan
of Kobe and Shaquille O'Neal. and
music. Is there anyway we can see
them play?
The Lakers are playing the Bulls
at the end of the month. I think
should be able to get some tickets
for that game.
So what about you Tierra. Do you
have any likes are dislikes we
need to know about?
I like fruits, the rain, but I
love great sex.
Is there anything you want to know
about us?
Are we gonna meet any of your
Yeah. In fact, we are throwing a
party in a couple of weeks.
What about you, Desiree?
Yes, I'm kinda tired from the
flight. I was wondering could you
show me to where I will be


Yeah. i think I'm a little tired,
Me and Derek decided that it would
be that you two should sleep in
the same room until we all feel
comfortable enough to sleep
Yeah, we don't want to put any
pressure on you. I'll show your
room if you still want to go to
Do you mean all of will be
sleeping in the same bed?
No. You will sleep with me. And
Tierra will sleep in the same bed
as Derek whenever you fill
comfortable with it.
Derek grabs the suitcases and heads to room with Desiree and
Tierra following him.
And Derek don't take them to your
Derek takes Tiera and Desiree to their room.
At the park. Desiree and Jason are walking through the park
holding hands and kissing. Derek and Tierra are walking
behind them. Derek is trying to hold Tierra's hand; but she
refuse to let him hold her hand.


Jason, Desiree, Derek, and Tierra are eating dinner at a
resturant. Derek is sitting beside Tierra and Jason is
sitting beside Desiree. Jason feeds some food to Desiree.
She eats the food. Derek tries to feed food to Tierra.
Tierra pulls down the fork and release it. The food flies
off the fork and lands in someone's purse.
Jason, Desiree, Derek, and Tierra are walking through the
park. Jason sits down on a bench and pulls Desiree on his
lap. Derek tries to do the same thing with Tierra; but she
pulls away. Jason and Desiree gets up to chase after a
butterfly. Tierra and Derek gets up to catch up with Jason
and Desiree, but Derek is handcuffed to the bench by Tierra.
He tries to catch by dragging the bench.
Jasin, Derek, Desiree, and Tierra are at a resturant eating
dessert. Jason and Desiree are sitting beside each other.
Derek and Tierra are sitting beside each other. Desiree
feeds Jason her last piece of pie. Jason eats it. Derek
sees this. Then, he looks at Tierra. She reluctantly feeds
Derek a piece of her cake. She misses his mouth and smear
cake all over his face. They stand up to leave the
resturant. Jason pulls out the chair for Desiree. Derek
pulls out the chair for Tierra. Desiree sees a piece of pie
on Jason's face. She wipes it off with a napkin. Tierra
sees something on Derek's face. She throws a napkin in his
face. Tierra and Derek leaves the resturant followed by
Jason and Desiree. As they are leaving, Melissa sees them.
A look apears on her face as if her heart was broken.
Jason and Desiree are in a store. Desiree is trying on
clothes. They are having a good time together. Melissa is
also in the store. She is trying on some clothes. Suddenly,
she sees Jason and Desiree having a good time together. She


runs out of the store crying. Confused by her emotions, she
rushes out of the store with one of the shirts on. The
security guard tackles her outside of the store. Melissa
and the security guard fall into the water fountain.
Everyone is getting the apartment ready for the party.
Tierra and Desiree are help cleaning the apartment. Derek
and Jason are moving the furniture to make room for the
Jason, come help me move this
Jason and Derek moves the sofa out of the area.
Where should we put the coffee
We can put it right beside the
table in the dining room.
They pick up the coffee table and move it into the dining
Desiree. Tierra. Could one of
you get that?
Desiree walks to the door. She answers the door. Its the
delivery guy from the place Jason ordered the wings.
Did anyone here order a platter of
Yes. Could you bring them in and
sit them on that table over
there(points to the table).
The wing delivery guy walks into the apartment.


Desiree is about to close the door.
The wings delivery guy sits them on a table. The table also
have a bowl of chips, another platter of cold cuts, plate of
celery, a plate of carrots, and dipping sauce. Next to this
table is another table. On this table, there are different
types of liquor, wine, and beer. Also, there is a bowl of
ice and some cups. The DJ brings in a crate of records. He
starts to setting up his equipment. Jason and Derek walks
back into the living room. Jason sees the wing delivery guy
is still there. Jason walks over to the wings delivery guy.
How much are the wings?
$ 39.98
Jason takes out his wallet and hands the wings delivery guy
a fifty dollar bill.
Keep the change.
Thanks. It looks like you are
having a major bash tonight.
Yea. We're expecting a lot people
to stop by. You and some of your
friends are more than welcome to
The delivery guy leaves the apartment. Tierra and Desiree
finishes placing the food on the table. MUSIC START PLAYING
IN THE BACKGROUND. The DJ walks up to Jason.


Hey, the music is set up. I'll be
back in about 25 minutes. I was
wondering could I bring some
people back with me?
Derek walks over to Jason and the DJ.
That's cool with me.
Wait minute. How many are you
bringing with you?
Fifteen. Twelve girls and three
Are the girls ugly?
No. Sunday's morning faces with
Saturday's night bodies.
Sure they can come.
Cool. I'll see ya'll in about
twenty five minutes.
The DJ leaves the apartment and close the door after
him.Jason and Derek walks over to where Tierra and Desiree
are at; the tables of food and drinks.
IS everything ready for the party?


      (checking over the
Yeah. The table is set. The
drinks are ready. We have enough
juice and sodas. But we might need
some more ice.
Ok. I'll go to the store and get
some more ice.
Derek grabs his coat and keys. He starts walking to the
Does anybody want anything while
I'm out?
Yeah. Could you get a couple bags
of chips and a bag of mints.
OK. Desiree. Tierra. Do you
want anything?
No. I'm fine.
I'm fine, too.
OK. Then, a bag of ice, chips,
and mints
Jason nods his head yes. Derek exits the apartment and goes
to the store.
I think I'm gonna go change for
the party.


What's wrong with what you got on.
You look good with what you're
That dress is perfect for your
Its ok, but I want to show more
Go change. I'm sure everybody
would to see more of your legs. I
know I would.
OK. Then, I'll go change.
Tierra goes into her room. She leaves Jason and Desiree in
the living room taking care of last minute details.
Are you gonna go change too?
What? Are you saying you don't
like what I'm wearing?
No. You look great except for one
What's that?
Jason walks over to get real close to Desiree. He removes
her hair pin from Desire's hair. Her naturally curly hair
falls to her shoulders. Jason brush her hair out her face
Wow, you really look beautiful.


Jason backs a little away from Desiree.
Thanks. Can I ask you for a
Depending on what it is. I not
gonna go rob or kill for you.
Its nothing like that.
Then, what is it?
Could you teach me how to dance?
What? You don't know how to
dance? But on your bio said that
you took four years of ballet.
I lied. I mean everybody lies on
their resume. I also said I could
cook, but you don't see me doing
that. Do you?
You can't cook either?
Yeah. If you count making burnt
biscuits. If not, then no. So
are you gonna teach me how to
dance or not?
I'll teach you, but only if you
learn how to cook, too.
Jason goes to turn the music a little louder


Now let me see how you dance.
Jason walks back over to where Desiree is standing; to get a
better look.
But I can't.
Just try dancing.
Desiree starts dancing. Jason is shocked by how terrible
Desiree dances.
Ok.Ok. You can stop now.
Desiree stops dancing.
Told you.
It's not that bad. It's just that
you're trying to hard. Just relax
and let the music move you. Watch
Jason starts dancing.
See how I'm relax and moving
along with the music. Now you try
Desiree starts dancing.
There you go. Just relax a little
more. Ok. Now, I'm gonna move a
little closer to you.
Jason moves closer to Desiree. They are dancing together.


Then, suddenly Jason gets a little closer to Desire. She
gets nervous and starts dancing terrible again. She steps
on his foot and knees him the groin. Jason falls to the
Are you ok?
Desiree helps Jason off the floor.
I'm ok, but I'll be better in a
few minutes.
I'm sorry. I guess you made me a
little nervous.
I think we should work on your
slow dancing right now.
Jason walks over to the DJing equipment.
Who do you want to dance to?
It doesn't matter. I like all
types of music. I just can't
dance to them.
Jason takes off the record that was playing and replaces it
with one he pull out of the crate.
There. Let's see if you can dance
to this.
Jason plays a slow song. Then, he walks over to Desiree. He
holds out his hand to her. She takes his hand. They start
dancing with each other. They are dancing terrible.
This we'll go a hold lot better if
you let me lead.


Desiree lets Jason lead.
Now just relax a little bit.
I'm sorry but dancing makes me
Well, think about something that
don't make you nervous. So, what
don't makes you nervous?
      (a little
Ok then. When you're dancing,
think that you're having sex.
Desiree starts dancing really sex with Jason. Jason is
getting aroused on by the way she is dancing with him. The
song stops playing.
So what do you think?
      (almost hypnotic
Incredible. I would love to dance
with you all night long.
I had a feeling that you liked the
way I danced.
Desiree looks down at Jason's pants.
I guess your little friend is
feeling better now.


Yes. He's feeling a little better
What would it take for him to feel
I think I need a cigarette.
I thought people in America smoke
a cigarette after sex. Not
I think you watch to many black
and white movies.
Jason and Desiree exchanges glances at each other. Desiree
lends forward and kisses Jason. Jason is about o talk, but
Desiree puts her finger over his mouth.
Shh. Dont's say a word. Just
follow me.
Desiree leads Jason to his bedroom. Jason closes the door
behind them.
Desiree pushes Jason down on the bed. She's kissing him and
unbuttoning his shirt.
What about the guests? They'll be
here any minute.
Desiree makes her way down Jason's body to his pants. SHe
unzips his pants and places a kiss on his thigh.


So you want to wait till the guest
get here and let them watch?
No, I think we can start without
Jason and Desiree starts having sex. Afte sex, Jason and
Desiree just lay in bed cuddling each other. THEN, LOUD
MUSIC STARTS PLAYING. Jason and Desiree are starlted by the
The guests are here. We got to
get dress.
They jump out of bed. Desiree puts back on her bra. Then,
she picks up he skirt and blouse. She heads into the
bathroom. While, Jason is getting dressed in the bedroom.
Where's your mouthwash?
Check the medicine cabinet.
Ok, I found it. Can I ask you a
personal question?
I guess so. What is it?
When we were dancing you didn't
caress my backside. I was just
wondering why you didn't feel on
my butt. Is there something wrong
with my butt. Do you like your
woman to have a big or small butt?


I don't know. I really haven
thought about it. I guess big,
but not too big.
What about mines? Do you think my
ass is too small?
I think you got a great looking
ass for its size.
I bet if my ass was the size of J.
Lo, you would've grabbed it.
Desiree walsk out of the bathroom. She is dressed and is
fixing her hair. Her butt is bigger than before.
I bet my ass was like this you
would grabbed it.
What in the world? How did you
get your ass like that?
Feel it. I know you want to.
Jason feels on Desiree's bottom.
That's soft. Really soft. Its
soft as
Jason slides his hand up Desiree's skirt and pulls out two
rolls of toilet tissue.


toilet tissue. Hey you're not
wearing any panties.
I couldn't find them. I think I
threw them beside the bed. There
they go.
Desiree bends over and picks up her panties.
Just give me a second to put them
Never mind them. We need to get
out there to the party.
Jason takes the panties out of Desiree's hand and throws
them on the bed. The panties fall off the bed and onto the
Are you ready?
I guess I'm ready know.
They walk out of the bedroom.
The apartment is filled with people for the party. People
are enjoying themselves. Some are dancing to the music the
DJ is playing. Others are simply talking to other people.
Some are at the tables fixing themselves something to drink
or eating. Jason is pointing out some of the people he
knows to Desiree. Jason exchanges glannces with a woman
from across the room. The woman is wearing a red dress with
her hair pinned up. She is talking to a group of women. She
notices that Jason was looking at her.


Oh no. Who invited her?
Who are you talking about?
You see that girl over there by
the wall?
Desiree sees a group of women standing near the wall where
Jason indicated.
Yeah. I see a group of beautiful
women. So what's so special about
You see the one in the red dress
with her hair pinned up.
She's the best looking one. If I
may ask, why didn't you date her
instead of sending for me.
The woman starts walking towards Jason and Desiree.
Just great she's on her way over
here. She has a bad personality.
Plus her breath stinks. It smells
like she was french kissing a baby
Her breath cannot smell that bad.
Ok. You can smell it when she get
over here.
The lady stands in front of Jason and Desiree. She starts a
conversation with Jason and Desiree.


Hey Jason.
Hey Melissa
Melissa. IS this your old
No. I'm the Melissa Walker that
Jason works with.
Jason and Melissa starts to smell Melissa's breath.
You see I know two Melissa Walker.
One was my ex-girlfriend. And
one I work with. This is the one
I work with.
Yeah. For some reason or another
Jason nevered asked me out. I
guess he didn't want to cause
confusion; seeing that we work
together. I know it would cause a
lot of gossip at work. What do
you think, Desiree?
Melissa's breath is really getting to Desiree and Jason.
I think I need a drink.
Desiree rushes off to the table where the drinks are at.
What's wrong with her?


It must be something she ate. I've
better go check up on her.
Jason catches up with Desiree. She's at the drink table.
Desiree has a drink in her hand.
I told you so.
Yeah, but I didn't expect her
breath to smell that bad.
Derek walks over to the table where Jason and Desiree are
I know. That's why I don't say
much to her.
Who are you talking about?
The Melissa from work.
Oh yeah. Tight body, pretty face.
And she messes it all up when she
talks. I never understood why her
breath smelled that bad. Maybe
she needs a laxative.
They say bad breath is not
necessary a result of not brushing
your teeth. It could be the
ressult of not cleaning out your
Where did you hear this from?


The Discovery Channel.
Was you drunk when you was
watching the Discovery Channel?
But of course. How else am I
gonna watch the Discovery Channel?
You get to see animals go at it.
Its like free nature porn.
THE DOORBELL RINGS SEVERAL TIMES. However, its hard to hear
the doorbell because of the music.
I think that's the doorbell.
Stop talking that nonsense and go
check and see if anyone at the
Derek walks through the crowd to get to the door. When he
opens the door, Ash is standing there.
What are you doing here?
Coming to your party. If that's
Sure come in. Its just that I
didn't expect you to come.
Ash walks into the apartment.
Thanks. I hope that its ok that I
brought a friend with me.


      (closing the door)
Where is this friend?
You're closing the door in her
Derek opens the door.
Sorry. I didn't see you there.
Melissa. What are you doing here?
I'm here with my cousin Ash.
So I take it that you two know
each other.
Yeah. I use to date his roommate.
Maybe we should go. It might be a
little to awkward in here.
Don't be silly. We're all adults
here. Nobody gonna through a
tantrum around here.
Speaking of childish behavior,
where is Jason?
Jason. Oh Jason. he's here
somewhere. Let me take your
Derek quickly and roughly gets Melissa jacket off her.


Do you want something to drink?
Ash, what do you want? A beer.
Melissa, What about you? A beer,
too. Ok, I'll be right back with
your beers.
Derek rushes over to the table where Jason is at.
Melissa's here. Where's Desiree?
In the bathroom. I know that
Melissa here. I talked to her. I
told you that before you went to
the door.
Not that Melissa. The other
Melissa. Your ex-girlfriend
I know.
How did you know that? She just
got here.
Cause she's standing right behind
Derek turns around and sees Melissa standing right behind
I'll think I'll go put this jacket
Derek walks away; leaving Melissa and Jason near the table
talking with each other. There is an awkward moment of
silence between them.


So, Jason how have you been?
I'm doing ok. How about yourself?
Good. Where this new girl I heard
so much about?
She's around here somewhere. What
about yourself? How did you come
here with?
I'm came here with my cousin Ash.
I'm not gonna rush into a
relationship or order someone off
the internet.
You just might have too. I mean
you're not gonna find anyone that
could put up with your mood swings
and flaws.
My flaws. You're the one who had
to order a bride just find someone
to put with that feet fungus you
A few girls had walk up to the table. They heard Melissa's
comment and looked at Jason in disgust. The women walks
away. Next a guy starts to walk toward Melissa; as if he is
gonna try to pick her up.
Probably as much of a problem you
have finding a guy to put up with
your constant yeast infections.
The guy walks away from Melissa as soon as he hear that


Look at you. You just ran that
guy away. What's the matter.
Afraid that he might be better in
bed. I'm sure he'll last longer.
Maybe. But if he's having sex
with you, he might want to fake it
to get it over with. Remember
hearing this: Oh Melissa. Oh my
God. Nobody is a good as you. Oh
my God.
I don't have to stand here and
take this.
Well then, that leaves you with
two options. You can sit down and
take it or you can get the hell
I think I will be leaving this
hell hole.
Melissa storms away from Jason. She is heading toward Ash
and Derek.
Good. I'm gonna make sure your
ass gets outta here.
Jason follows Melissa.
Melissa interrupts Ash's and Derek's conversation.
We gotta go.
What? Why? We just got here. And
I'm having fun here.


I don't like some of the people
Jason walks up.
And I don't want to be where I'm
not wanted.
Then, what are you still doing
Fine. Well, I'll talk to you some
other time.
Melissa heads for the door.
Aren't you gonna get your jacket?
Melissa turns back around. She walks pass Derek, Jason, and
Melissa. When she walk pass them, she grabs Ash's arm and
pulls Ash with her. They go to get Melissa's jacket. Jasona
and Derek has a small conversation.
What are you doing?
I don't want her here.
Jason looks at Derek.
Look, you and Melissa have been a
couple for what about a year. But
you have been friends for longer


                       DEREK (cont'd)
than that. Good friends. A
friend like that is hard to come
by. And now you want to throw
that away because she's no longer
your girlfriend? Well, do you?
Jason thinks about it for a few seconds. Then, he look at
I think I can live with that.
Jason starts to walk away. Derek stops him.
Ok. Then, do it for me.
If you smooth things over with
Melissa, she'll stay for the
party. And if she stays, Ash
stays. And I can spend more time
with Ash. Come on man, I think
Ash may be the one.
What about Tierra.
Look at her. She's spending more
time with that girl over there
than me. Now could you do this
for me?
Melissa and Ash walk pass Derek and Jason and head to the
door. Derek gives Jason a look.
Jason goes after Melissa and Ash. He catches up with them.
Melissa is standing in the hallway. Ash is in the doorway.


Wait. Could you wait here while I
talk to Melissa?
Ash stays inside of the apartment. Jason goes out into the
hall. He closes the door to the apartment after him.
What do you want? To kick me out
of the hallway.
No. No. Can I talk to you for a
second. We can continue to take
cheap shots at each other, yelling
at each other, or what not. Or we
can act like adults continue to be
friend. I would love to continue
to be friends with you. I need you
in my life. I want you in my
life. I mean if I can't have you
as my girlfrind, at least I want
you to be my friend. And I know
deep in your heart you feel the
same way. So what do you want to
Jason opens the door for Melissa. Jason holds the door open
for Meliss
Melissa walks back into the apartment. Jason follows her
in. Melissa walks up to Ash and Derek; who are having a
So, are we going or not?
We're staying. I'm just gonna go
and to put my jacket it up. I
don't want to dance in it all
night and get it sweaty.


Melissa leaves Derek and Ash to go put her jacket in Jason's
room. Jason walks pass Derek. Derek gives him a thank you
pat on the shoulder as he walks by. Desiree walsk up to
Jason and she whispers something in his ear. A smile comes
to Jason's face. They starts dancing.
Melissa walks into Jason's bedroom. She walks to the
closest mirror to fix her hair. She walks to the bed to
place her jacket on it. She takes off her jacket. She
places the jacket on the bed. As she places the jacket on
the bed, her keys fall out of her jacket's pocket. She
search through the coats to find her keys. She finds her
keys. She decide to keep her keys on her. She puts the
keys in her pants pocket. As she puts the keys inside her
pocket, she sees something on the floor. She bends down to
pick up what she saw on the floor. She finds Desiree's
Melissa walks out of Jason's bedroom. She sees Jason and
Desiree dancing on the dancefloor. She also sees Ash and
Derek having a good time together. Melissa walks to the
table with the drinks. She starts fixing herself a drink.
She continues to fix herself a drink as soon as she finishes
the one before. The camera goes back and forth from Desiree
and Jason dancing to Melissa drinking out of her cup. After
dancing, Desiree and Jason walks over to the table where the
drinks are.
You need some more ice.
Hand me the bowl and I'll go get
some more out of the refridgator.
Jason hands Desiree the bowl for the ice. Desiree heads
into the kitchen to get some more ice.


Could you please fix me another
Sure. Hand me your cup.
Melissa hands Jason her cup. In doing so, Melissa knocks
some of the other cups off the table.
I think you done had enough to
drink. You're already wasted.
Either fix my drink or Give me
back my cup. I'll fix it myself.
Derek hands back the cup to Melissa. She snatches the cup
from his hands. She struggles to fix her own drink. Jason
watches her in disbelief.
So, how are things with you and
A surprsie look comes on Jason's face.
You said you wanted to be friends.
So tell me. I mean these are the
things friends talk about.
Ok. If you really want to know,
things are going pretty good;
better than I expected.
I'm really glad to hear that.
What about yourself? Anything
happening with you and guy from
the club?


Not really. He really wasn't my
I'm sorry to hear that.
Don't worry about it. His wife
didn't think I was really his type
Desiree returns with the bowl of ice.
Here's the ice.
Desiree hands Jason the bowl of ice.
Thank you.
Jason places the bowl of ice on the table. He start fixing
a couple of drinks.
Melissa, this is Desiree. And
Desiree, this is Melissa.
Hello. Are you enjoying yourself?


Surprisingly yes. I mean when I
first got here I thought it was
gonna be awkward. But its ok. I
got all of my friends here. What
about yourself? How are things
going for you. It must be
different for you to walk around
with clothes on. Being that
you're from a third world country
and all.
Melissa, what are saying? Desiree,
ignore her. It seems that she had
too much to drink, so ignore what
she says.
I'm not drunk. And I know what
I'm saying. So, what did you do
for fun in your country, run
around chasing zebras and killing
Actually, I'm from a small city in
Columbia. And we don't have
tigers or zebras running around
Columbia. What did you do back
there? Smuggle drugs. Look
everybody, we got a drug dealer in
the house.
Quiet it down. If you keep this
up I will be force to ask you to


Or are you one of those girls that
come over here and do tricks. So
which one are you a drug dealer or
a hooker?
Get out.
That's ok, I can handle this. If
you knew how to satify your man,
maybe he wouldn't need anyone
Well, I don't know how they do it
in your country, but we don't need
to find hoes off the internet.
Apparently, Jason felt like he
did. Maybe if you were more
flexible, in and out of the bed,
Jason would still be with you.
Frustrated by what Desiree said, Melissa throws some ice at
Desiree. Desiree ignores the ice throwing jesture of
Melissa. Melissa throws some more ice on Desiree.
What are you doing?
Helping out. It looks like your
hot mamma cita needs a little
cooling off.
Melissa hits Desiree with some more ice. Desiree has had
enough. She throws some wings at Melissa. Melissa ducks
and the wings hit some other people. These people gets
upset and throws the wings back. This leads to a food
fight. A guy walks up to the table.
Is there any more wings left?


A handful of wings hit the man in the face.
Could I get some dressing to go
with it?
The man is hit with a lot of ranch dressing.
Thank you.
The man walks away. The food fight continues. A blow up
doll is being passed around the room. Derek is chasing
after the blow up doll.
Give me back my doll.
The party is over. Everyone is gone. Tierra, Jason, Derek,
and Desiree are about finish cleaning up the apartment.
Tonight was the greatest party we
ever thrown.
Yeah. You guys got some cool
friends. And the food fight was
Yeah. How did it get started.
Jason and Desiree look at each other and smile.
So, what do ya'll want to do now?
Man, I'm tired. I'm going to bed.
Me too.
Yeah. Its getting kinda late.


Desiree turns around.
I would like for you to sleep with
me tonight. We don't have to have
sex. I just want to lay next to
you and wake up with you in my
I would really like that.
The hold hands as the walk into Jason's bedroom. They close
the door behind them.
Tierra, I would like for you to
sleep with you tonight. We don't
have to have sex. I just want to
sleep with you and wake up in your
Derek is surprise and excite that Tierra said ok. He
follows Tierra to her bedroom. She closes the door before
Derek could get in the room.
What are you doing? I thought you
wanted to sleep together. Oh ok.
You're slipping into something
more comfortable. Let me know
when you're ready for Big Daddy to
come in.
TIERRA LOCKS THE DOOR TO HER ROOM. The lighs are turned off
in Tierra's room.


That's ok. I understand. you
want to wait till after the
Disappointed, Derek goes to his room and goes to bed.
Jason is sitting in his office. He is going over an ad
purposal for an account. JASON'S CELLULAR TELEPHONE RINGS.
Jason takes the cellular phone from his coat.
Jason, you got a problem. A big
Calm down. What's the matter?
Your parents. They are here.
What do you mean here?
I mean they're here in Chicago. I
mean the was at the apartment. And
they're on their way down there.
Jason's secetary is talking to some people outside of
Jason's office.
Do you have an appointment to see
Mr. Starks?


                       JASON'S MOTHER
I don't need an appointment to see
my son.
They're already here. I'll talk to
you later.
Jason hangs up his cellular phone. He walks outside of his
office. He finds his parents talking to his secetary.
If you do not have an pointment to
see Mr. Starks, then you cannot
see him. I'm sorry.
That's ok. I'll see them.
Jason looks at his watch.
Janet, its about 4:30. Why don't
you take off early.
Yes, Mr Starks.
Janet grabs her purse and her Jacket and heads toward the
See you tomorrow, Mr. Starks.
OK. You get home safe.
Janet exits the office.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
I think you should get another


Why? Janet is a great secetary
and I'm lucky to have her.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
I don't trust her.
Mom, you don't know her.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
That's not the point.
What's the point?
                       JASON'S MOTHER
That I don't trust her.
Ah forget it. I don't feel like
arguing with you.
                       JASON'S FATHER
Don't you use that tone with your
What tone?
                       JASON'S FATHER
Are you questioning me? You know
you're not to old to get thrown
across my knee.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
You should be happy to see your
parents. Oh Lord, our son doesn't
love us anymore.
Yes, I do.
Jason leans forward and gives his mother a kiss on her


Feel better?
                       JASON'S MOTHER
No. You don't call or write us to
tell us your getting married. It
sad that we had to hear it from
your sister who heard it from your
cousin Michelle who heard it from
Barbara who heard it
Ok. Ok. I get the point. I've
should have told you. But the
fact of the matter I'm not getting
married. Well not yet anyway.
                       JASON'S FATHER
What the hell is going on in your
life boy?
Look, its a long story.
                       JASON'S FATHER
Well, we didn't travel three hours
not to hear it.
Fine. How about we catch an early
dinner and I tell you everything.
                       JASON'S FATHER
Sounds good to me.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
Ok, but only if we get to meet
this young lady we heard so much
Fine. Oh yeah. What resturant do
you want to meet at?


                       JASON'S FATHER
How about the one we ate at last
time we came here?
Mark Anthony's. Good. I'll meet
you there in about thirty minutes.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
We can wait for you.
That's ok. I got to spend out a
bunch of faxes and make a few
calls. I'll be there before you
finish your salad. I promise.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
Fine. We'll meet you there in
thirty minutes.
Thirty minutes.
                       JASON'S FATHER
Don't have me and your mother
waiting either.
I won't
Jason gives his parents ahug and kiss goodbye. The parents
exit and Jason heads back into his office.
Jason arrives at the resturant. He walks in and looks for
his parents. He finds his parents sitting at a table;
talking to a waiter/waitress. The waiter/waitress is
placing the food on the table. Jason walks up to them and
takes a seat.
I see that you've already ordered.


                       JASON'S FATHER
Yeah, we got the spagetti for you.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
I know how much you love
spaghetti. Remember when you used
to throw a tantrum if didn't have
spagetti at least once a week. You
take off all of your clothes and
run through the house naked.
Jason and the waiter/waitress exchanges glances at each
I was only five.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
No. I think you were sixteen.
The waiter/waitress looks at Jason and walks away. They
start to eat their meal.
Could you please pass the
                       JASON'S MOTHER
Jason's mother passes the breadsticks to Jason.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
So when are we gonna meet this new
girl we hear so much about?
                       JASON'S FATHER
Whatever happen to that Melissa
girl? She was very beautiful.
Yeah, she was. We sort of broke


                       JASON'S MOTHER
Fred quit. You're embarrassing the
boy. So how about your new lady
She's a very beautiful, charming,
and intelligent young lady.
                       JASON'S FATHER
What she look like?
I said she was beautiful.
                       JASON'S FATHER
And I heard you. I wanna know is
she fat, skinny, short, tall. I
mean God is she that ugly.
She's petite nice looking young
lady with shoulder length hair.
                       JASON'S FATHER
Does she look better than Melissa?
What kind of question is that?
                       JASON'S FATHER
I take that as a no.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
That's not important. How did you
meet this young lady?
      (quiet voice)
I sort of met her online.
                       JASON'S FATHER
Online. I meet her online.


                       JASON'S MOTHER
Why are you so embarrassed that
you met a woman over the internet.
Its ok. As long as love each
other, it doesn't matter how you
I'm not embarrassed of her.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
What she do for a living?
Its not really important what she
does for a living.
                       JASON'S FATHER
Are you ashamed of her, son?
                       JASON'S MOTHER
Then, why won't you tell us what
she does for a living?
Cause you'll prejudge her by what
she does for a living.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
That's not true. Remember Rebecca
Johnson. She work as a
garbageman, I mean gargewoman.
Mom, when she left from visiting
me, you told her to take the trash
out with her.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
It would've save her some time
during the week. Look, all we
want is to see you happy.


                       JASON'S FATHER
Yeah son. We wouldn't care if she
was a goat herder. But if she is,
could you ask her to get me some
goat milk. I never had any of
that before. You know they say it
taste just like regular milk.
Ok, I'll tell you. She's an
online bride. I got myself an
online bride. You happy now?
                       JASON'S MOTHER
What is that?
I went on the internet and ordered
myself a bride.
                       JASON'S FATHER
Oh ok. She's an escort.
No. She's not any escort.
The waiter/waitres walks to the table.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
A hooker. You're marrying a
The waiter/waitress looks at Jason and walks away without
saying a word.
No, she's not a hooker. And could
you please lower your voices.
                       JASON'S FATHER
Was she one of those hookers on
                       JASON'S MOTHER
I know what you're talking about.
What was the name of that show?


                       JASON'S FATHER
I think you're talking about Real
                       JASON'S MOTHER
No, I think it was Taxi Cab
Confession. The one where they was
in Las Vegas. You know they got a
lot of hookers there.
You're both wrong. It was At The
Point and Back At the Point. And
no she was not on those shows.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
This is great news. I gotta tell
Jason's mother lends over to the table beside her. She taps
the man on the shoulder. The man turns around.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
My son is marrying a celebrity
hooker. She was on HBO.
The man looks at Jason. Jason is embarrassed by his
mother's action. He calls out to a passing waiter/waitress.
Check please.
Jason and his parents are outside of Jason's apartment. They
have just return from the resturant. Jason unlocks the door
and walks in. He is followed by his parents. They takes
off their coats. Jason turns on the lights. His parents go
to sit down on the sofa. Jason walks around to see if
anyone is there.


Derek. Desiree. Tierra. Is
anyone here? I guess they gone
out for the night. Do you want
anything to drink?
                       JASON'S FATHER
What do you have?
Juice, soda, milk, and water.
                       JASON'S FATHER
I take a soda.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
Me too.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
Where's that noise coming from?
What noise? I didn't here
                       JASON'S FATHER
I heard it too. It sounds like
its coming from your bedroom.
I doubt that its coming from my
room. Its probably my neighbors.
They can get loud sometimes.
ROOM. Jason's parents stands up and walks toward Jason's
room. They are curious about the noise.
Wait here. I'll go check out the
Jason's parents sit back down. Jason looks around for


something to take with him in there. He grabs a wooden
paper towel holder. He heads into his room. The door is
slightly ajarred and the light is on. Jason bust into the
room. Derek is startled and almost drops a camcorder. Derek
is standing there in his boxers and a t-shirt. Desiree and
Tierra is in the bed naked.
Its you. You scared me half to
What are ya'll doing in here?
Your bed is bigger than mines.
So you was gonna use my bed to
have sex in my bed with my wife to
be because my bed is bigger.
Yeah. I mean no. I was just
filming them having sex.
So let me get this straight. You
was gonna video them two having
sex. Ok, I cool with that. Hold
up, is there any other surprise I
need to know about?
Well, sort of. Come on out.
Jennifer slowly removes the cover off her concealed body.
Jennifer, how could yo do this to
Do what? It ain't like we haven't
done this before. We shared
plenty of women before. Why is
this any different?


Because I'm supposed to marry
Jason turns to Derek.
And you was just gonna let this
I tried to stop it, but they said
they were gonna use whipped cream,
cherries, and fruit flavored
popiscles. And you know I'm a
health nut.
So you was gonna make a porn video
with my parents in the next room.
For one, we didn't know your
parents was gonna be here. And
second, they are not in the next
room. They're standing right
behind you.
Jason turns around and sees his parents.
I thought I ask ya'll to wait in
the other room.
                       JASON'S FATHER
You did. But we heard you say
naked women having sex. So we
came in. Can you introduce us to
everybody? I mean we see them
nake at least we should know there
Ok. You already know Derek and
Jennifer. That's Desiree. That's


                       JASON'S MOTHER
Which one of these ladies are you
suppose to marry?
Desiree raise her hand. The sheet falls out of her; showing
her chest.
                       JASON'S FATHER
Son, you did good for yourself.
She's gorgoues. And she got nice
                       JASON'S MOTHER
She does. They looks perfect. Are
they real?
                       JASON'S MOTHER
Can I touch them?
                       JASON'S FATHER
Me too?
Jason's parents make their way to Desiree's side of the bed.
They touch her breasts.
                       JASON'S FATHER
These are incredible.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
I know. They are softer than our
next door neighbor's.


You felt your neighbor's tits?
                       JASON'S FATHER
I didn't, but Debra did.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
Yeah. She had some big nipples.
About the size of a quarter.
That's it. I gotta get out of
Jason heads toward the door.
Where are you going?
To the bar.
Jason walks out of the room.
Is he mad?
Just a little, but he'll be fine
once he see the tape.
Jason returns and stops in the doorway. He is wearing his
coat and has his keys in his hand.
And Derek
I know. Wash these sheets. And
put on a fresh set.
And make you a copy of the tape.


And make sure your parents are not
on the tape.
Jason is sitting at the bar. He is drinking beer and
watching tv. Then, Melissa walks into the bar. She walks
up to Jason.
I call your place and Derek said
you would be here.(no response
from Jason). Can I talk to you a
Fine, but you got to drink
something. I don't want people to
thing I have a drinking prolbem.
Melissa sits down beside Jason.
Bartender I would like a
A Long Island Ice Tea.
I'm surprised that you
I filled with surprises. So what
do you want to talk about.
Actually, I have something to give


After three weeks, what in the
world do you have to give me?
Melissa reaches into her coat pocket and pulls out a key, a
friendship ring, and a small piece of paper. The piece of
paper has a number and a name on it.
This is the friendship ring I got
for you. Do you remember when I
gave it to you? It was a rainy
night at my place. We were
sitting in front of the fireplace
and sipping on some wine.
How could I forget. You wasted
wine all over my shirt.
I had to find some way to get up
out of your clothes.
And the next morning I woke up
with the ring on my finger and
breakfast in bed. That was one of
the best nights of my life.
Better than that karakoe night
with my parents?
Oh. I almost forgot that night.
That was the funniest night of my
life. Speaking of which, where's
your parents. I heard they were
in town.
They're back at me place with
everybody else making porn.


Yeah. When me and my parents got
back to my place after dinner. I
found Jennifer in bed with Desiree
and Tierra together with Derek
filming the whole thing.
Oh, that's must be rough to see
your bride to be in bed with
someone else.
To be honest, it really didn't
bother me as much as I thought it
would. I mean its not like I love
her or anything. Its not like
she's (looks at Melissa).
I know. I still love you, too.
You know sometimes, I find myself
just missing you. Weren't we good
Yeah we were.
What went wrong?
Melissa points to the pice of paper with the number on it.
Jason picks up the piece of paper. Jason reads it.
Where did you get this from. I've
been looking for this.
Why? So you can call her.


Yeah. I really need to talk to
Melissa looks at her watch.
Its getting late. I have to be
Melissa gets up from the bar stool and heads for the exit.
Wait. Don't you want to know
whose number it is?
Melissa stops walking and turns around.
I know whose number it is. I
called the number and some girl
named Jessica answered the phone.
And I told that bitch to kiss my
ass. Now, I guess you want me to
be friends with the girl cheated
on me with. Stand here until I
Melissa starts back walking towards the exit.
Wait. I didn't sleep with her.
Melissa stops walking and turns around.
Jason starts to walker closer and closer to Melissa unti lhe
is standing right in front of her. As he walking towards
her, he is talking to her.
I couldn't sleep with Jessica. I
know this is hard for you to
believe. But I didn't for two


                       JASON (cont'd)
reasons. The first one being that
she 's my cousin. You know the
one that introduce me to you.
No wonder she wouldn't speak to me
at the mall. You said you had two
reasons. What was the other one?
That I love you.
Jason lends forward and kisses Melissa. Melissa pulls away
from Jason.
What's wrong?
I can't do this.
Why not?
Because you are about to get
married. And I'm seeing someone
It doesn't matter who.
Ed Stevenson
The guy you were dating before me?
The one you found wearing your
bra and panties?


He doesn't do that anymore.
Didn't you catch him in bed with
another man?
He was experiementing. Everyone
experiments in college.
He was twenty-eight.
That's besides the point.
What's the point then?
Look, its getting late and I
really gotta be going.
Melissa starts to head for the exit.
At least stop by and say hello to
my parents. They would love to
see you. Please.
Melissa stops walking.
Fine, but I can only stay a few
OK. Just let me get my jacket.
Jason goes back to the bar and pays the bartender. He grabs
his jacket and other belongings and head back to Melissa.
They exit the bar.


Jason and Melissa returns back to Jason's place. Jason
unlocks the door and they both walks in the aparment.
Jason's father is streaking across the living room butt
naked. Everyone is playing naked twister.
What in the hell is going in here?
Jason, your parents are cool as
hell. I wish my parents were like
Me too. So, I could see your mom
naked tits bouncing in the air.
You still haven't told me why are
everybody naked in the living
                       JASON'S FATHER
We're playing naked twister.
After making the tape, we couldn't
decide what else to do. So, your
parents thought we should play
naked twister.
You ever thought about going out
to the movies?
Then, we would have to get dress.
And you don't tell naked women to
get dress. That's just not
That's right. Women don't even
tell other women to put their
clothes back on.


                       JASON'S MOTHER
Do you want to play?
No. What the hell wrong with you
people? Running around here like
a bunch ofr freaks fresh out of
                       JASON'S MOTHER
Hello Melissa. How have you been?
I'm doing ok, Mrs. Starks.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
That's good. How's your mother
doing? I heard she was a little
                       JASON'S FATHER
Melissa, do you want to join us?
No thank you Mr. Starks. My
mother is doing better. Thanks
for asking.
                       JASON'S FATHER
Come on. I would love to see that
nice little ass of yours.
Really. That's ok. I'm just
gonna sit here and watch ya'll
have all the fun.
                       JASON'S FATHER
So you one of those people who
like to watch?
Dad, could you stop with the
questions. And could you and mom
put some clothes on?


Why don't you leave your parents
Why? Pretty soon they gonna have
Playboy's bunnies coming out
Two guys walk out of Jason's bedroom.
Who the hell are they? And why in
the hell are they doing in my
                       JASON'S FATHER
That's James, the pizza delivery
guy. And that's Steve, one of
your new neighbors.
A pizza delivery guy and a pool
guy. The pizza guy I might be
able to understand, but a pool
guy?We don't have a pool. That
still don't explain why they were
coming in my room?
                       JASON'S MOTHER
They are a little shy to undress
in front of us. So, I told them
they could change in your room.
They are willing to walk around
here in there boxers, but are to
shy to change in front of you?
                       JASON'S MOTHER
Why don't you drink some warm
milk. It will calm down your


I dont' want no milk. I want to
get some sleep. And I know that a
room full of freaks are gonna make
a lot of noise.
It ain't my fault that I'm a
                       JASON'S FATHER
Jason if it'll make you feel
better, you can take our room at
the hotel and we can stay here.
Were's the key?
                       JASON'S MOTHER
In my the side pocket of my purse.
If you want, you could stay at my
place for the night.
Really? Has seening all these
naked people got you hot?
No. I'm just saying you can sleep
on my sofa instead of going to the
Sure, that'll be cool. Let me get
a change of clothes.
Jason walks into the his bedroom, to get some clothes.
Jason return from his room. He has his clothes in a
overnight bag.
Let's go before the get the
Hooter's girls to come over here.


                       JASON (cont'd)
Unless they're bringing some
wings. Then, I can stay for that.
They're not coming. They're going
to some other party.
Let's go then.
Jason opens the door and four male strippers walk into the
apartment. They are carrying a radio. MUSIC IS PLAYING.
They start dancing in the middle of the living room. They
ladies start dancing with the male strippers.
Maybe we should stay.
Six female strippers walk into the apartment.
Maybe we should.
Jason's mother is dancing with a male stripper. She is
behind him. Jason's father is dancing with a female
stripper. He is dancing behind her.
                       JASON'S MOTHER
Shake it fast. Show me what you
working with.
                       JASON'S FATHER
Back that thing up. That's it.
Don't stop, get it, get it.
I think I just changed my mind.
Let's go.
I'm right behind you.
Jason and Melissa leaves the apartment. They are headed
back to Melissa's place.


Jason and Melissa arrives at Melissa's apartment. She
unlocks the door and walks in first. Melissa turns on the
lights. She is followed by Jason. Melissa removes her
jacket. She lays her jacket on the couch.
It's not like you don't know where
everyhting is at, so make yourself
at home.
Jason grabs the remote control off the top of the
television. Then, Jason goes to the sofa and takes a seat.
Melissa heads into her bedroom. Jason turns on the
television. He flips through the channels; stopping at
ESPN. He starts to watch Sportscenter.
Would it bother you if I came out
there in my pajamas?
Nawh. Why would it bother me?
I don't know. I didn't want you
to feel uncomfortable.
I'll be ok. AS long as you don't
try to feel on my butt.
Melissa walks into the kitchen. Jason does not see Melissa
walk into the kitchen. Jason is focused on the television.
Yet, he's trying to talk to Melissa at the same time.


Do you want something to drink?
What do you got?
Coke, juice, milk, and wine.
Do you want a lot of ice?
Not that much. I don't really
need ice in here. Its cold enough
to freeze meat.
Not that much ice.
Ok. You know I'm glad that we had
that talk at the bar tonight.
Melissa walks into the living room with two glasses of soda.
Me too.
Here's your drink.
Jason is stunned by how sexy Melissa looks in her pajamas.
She is standing there with her hair down. She is wearing a
t-shirt and shorts for pajamas.


What's wrong?
Melissa hands Jason the glass of soda. Jason takes the
glass of soda.
Nothing. Everything's fine.
Then why are you still wearing
your jacket?
Its a little cold in here.
Why didn't you say so? I'll go
turn the air down a little.
Melissa goes to turn the heat up. Jason is sitting on the
sofa. He finishes his drink. He places the glass on the
coffee table.
Thanks for letting me spend the
night here.
A blanket is thrown and it hits Jason.
What was that for?
Melissa returns to the sofa. She is carrying a pillow. She
hands the pillow to Jason. Jason places the pillow beside
You'll need that for tonight.
Jason takes off his jacket. He spreads the blanket over
himself. Melissa sits her drink on the coffee table. She
slides under the blanket and cuddles up next to Jason. Jason
looks at her. She looks at Jason.


Are we gonna watch Sportscenter
all night long?
Sorry. What do you wannna watch?
I don't know, but I don't wanna
watch sports. Why don't you go
through the channels. I'll tell
you when to stop.
Jason starts channel surfing; only changing channels when
Melissa wants him to stop.
Keep going. Keep going. Wait, I
've already seen that. Keep
Do you want the remote?
That's ok. You're doing a good
Jason starts back channel surfing.
Keep going. Keep going. Wait.
Right there. Do you remember this
Saved the Last Dance. Its about a
girl falling for this guy and
trying to pursue her dreams of
becoming a dancer.


Melissa gives Jason a look of saying that he's wrong.
It isn't. Then, its about a girl
running away from home because her
parents are getting a divorce.
No. This "Dirty Dancing". It was
the first movie we saw together.
Jason has a "I don't remember" look on his face.
We watch it when you came over to
visit Jessica when we were
I knew that. I was just seeing if
you rememerbed that was I first
I think you're lying.
What reason would I have to lie?
I dont' know, but I'm gonna make
you admit that you're lying.
How are you gonna do that?
Melissa starts tickling Jason. Jason is laughing and trying
to get Melissa to stop tickling him.
Stop. Stop. Ok. Ok. You win. I
was lying. I didn't remember.
Melissa stops tickling Jason and pulls away from him.


I thought so.
You think that's so funny, don't
you? How would you like it if
tickled you?
Jason grabs Melissa and pulls her into his lap. Jason
starts tickling Melissa. Then, Jason stops tickling
Melissa. She's still laying with he head in his lap. Their
faces start moving closer and closer.
Now, you see how it feels.
Yeah. I guess I do.
They are about to kiss each other. THE MICROWAVE GOES OFF.
Popcorn. The popcorn is ready.
I'll go get it.
Melissa gets up from the sofa and heads into the kitchen.
The camera follows Melissa into the kitchen. Melissa gets
into the kitchen. She looks in the cabinet for a bowl. She
finds a bowl for the popcorn. She places the bowl right
beside the microwave. She opens the microwave door and to
get the popcorn out. The popcorn is really hot. She grab
the popcorn by the corners of the bag.
Hot. Hot. Hot.
Melissa drops the bag of popcorn into the bowl. SHe opens
the bag of popcorn and pours it into thee bowl.She grabs the
salt shaker and sprinkle a little salt over the popcorn.
Melissa puts the salt shaker down.
I didn't put that much salt on the
popcorn cause I know how don't
like all that salt.


Melissa starts to head back to the sofa.
And I don't want to hear you
complain about a lot salt on the
      (in a mocking
       voice of Jason)
You know I don't like all that
salt on my food. You know its not
good for my blood pressure.
Do you want anything else to
Melissa returns to the sofa. She find Jason asleep on the
sofa; he's in a sitting formation. Jason's head is resting
on the pillow. He has cover himself with the blanket.
You could never stay up. That's
was the problem with our sex life.
Melissa sits the popcorn on the coffee table. She sits on
the coffet able also. She removes Jason's shoes from his
feet. She smells Jason's shoes. His shoes smells really
bad. Melissa gets up and goes to get some air fresher and
sprays his shoes. She struggles to lifts his leg up to the
sofa. She is trying to keep from waking up Jason. She
sprays Jason's feet with the air fresher. She spreads the
blanket over his body. Jason adjust himself in his sleep.
She stands over Jason and looks at him for a minute. Then,
she goes to get her purse. She gets some makeup out of her
pocketbook. Melissa sits back down on the coffee table. She
starts putting makeup on Jason's face. She is trying her
best not to laugh.
      (in a mumbling
Melissa, I love you.


I love you, too.
Melissa lends forward and places a kiss on Jason's cheek.
She stands up.
I hope that kiss don't make me the
other woman.
Melissa walks to the light switch. She turns off the light.
Melissa heads to bed.
The next morning, Melissa wakes up. She gets out of bed.
She goes into the kitchen and starts fixing a cup of coffee.
Do you want any coffee?
Melissa walks into the living room. She sees that Jason is
gone. The blanket is neatly folded on the sofa with the
pillow on top of it. A note is on top of the pillow.
Melissa picks up the note and read it.
Thanks again for letting me spend
the night. My parents are flying
to LA this morning. And I promise
them I would see them off at the
airport. Talk to you later.
Melissa finishes reading the note and starts to head back
into the kitchen. She then realizes that she left the
makeup on Jason's face.


Jason walks into the airport. He is walking though the
airport. He suddenly realizes that he has to use the
bathroom. Jason finds a bathroom. Jason goes into the
bathroom and finds an urinal and uses it. A man comes into
the bathroom. The man has to use the bathroom really bad.
The man starts to make small talk with Jason while they are
using the bathroom. Jason and the man does not make eye
Man, flying really makes me
Same here.
Just got in from LA.
The man looks at Jason.
Where are you headed?