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by penny warner (wordvendor@gmail.com)

Rated: PG-13   Genre: Family   User Review: ***
Who says there's no life on Mars? A NASA astronaut, left on Mars during a secretive space mission, collects each probe as they are sent to Mars, using them to go back and seek his revenge.

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.


HUGH BROOKS, NASA astronaut, kneels beside a rusted Lander.
His NASA space suit is old and ragged. A ragged photo of a
woman pops out of the pocket. He writes the word "love" in
the red dust on a panel
Evangeline, My dear, my hope is
Hugh's tears turn to sobs. He smashes a large rock into the
panel's NASA logo.
A giant bubble-wrapped NASA lander roars as it falls from
space, crashes into the surface of Mars, then bounces to
great heights. Hugh jumps to his feet.
The bouncing slows to a wobbly roll, over the rim of a large
shallow crater, nesting in the bottom.
Hugh speaks as if he hates the sound of his own voice.
Ah. They have sent the means to
their end.
He laughs without benefit of a soul. A tall, work-worn
probe, rolls up behind him. Hugh turns and glares at the
probe. It stops dead in its tracks.
Three Earth days. You have 72
hours to get the transporter
ready: it will be done?
The probe glows bright green from his chassis.
Now get your friends and alloys
(gutteral laugh) out here. Strip
that module before it explodes.
You don't want another botched
mission. Trust me.
Hugh flinches as the bubbles explode to reveal the Mars
The Mars lander sits in swirling red dust below. Mechanical
noises are heard as the lander opens like a camera shutter.


A small Mars probe rolls out. An American flag rises from
the lander, unfurling in the swirling dust.
Hugh turns toward the tall probe.
If the short one fails again, melt
him down and use him to form the
steps. And get that new probe
before the scavengers do.
The tall probe turns to Hugh and glows green.
Oh...scrap heap. The time?
Hugh looks at the probe's chassis panel as it opens and
reveals the date and time: 3/10/2007, 1:21 p.m.
The date and time "3/10/2007, 1:21 p.m." shows on a huge
screen in the front of the large room. NASA engineers work
at computers. On an inset screen, the real-time video of
Mars. Static breaks the scene.

All eyes are on the screen. A tall, authoratative man,
GEORGE BRINKLEY, stands up in the back of the room. He
shouts toward the front of the room to BOB HARRIS, the
Computer-Nerd King.
Harris, youíd better get McGinnis
in here now.
Roger that, Brink.
Bob runs out of the control room, through dimly lit
ABLE MCGINNIS sits at his computer, a little green, stuffed
Martian toy on the monitor. The toy has little feelers
coming out of the head, and a big butt. Able listens closely


to strange noises from his computer. Bob bursts into Able's
Oh, man McGinnis, you gotta get in
here, the signal is going haywire.
Weíre losing touch with Eborp.
Able jumps up and runs down the hall to the control room.
Weíve held the signal as long as
we can, but he must be going way
out of range...or heís dying.
Able yells back at Bob, who is trying to keep up with him.
Heís not dying. It canít be
possible. We laid in the best
atmospheric equipment we had. We
built him to last way longer than
that, Bob.
      (yells at Able)
I know, McG. Youíll have to see it
for yourself. I didnít believe it
either. But...
Able runs through swinging double-doors. The doors smack
into Bob, who weaves in behind Able. His glasses broken in
two. He's wincing in pain. Able stares. Static fills the
screen. He whips around.
What happened, George? When I left
Eborp was gathering soil samples.
Bob holds his nose in agony. It bleeds.
Oh, geez, anybody got a towel?
Bob grosses out the control center workers. Their attention
turns back to Able and George's conversation.
This shouldnít be happening. We
went over this a zillion times. He
was supposed to walk for more than
three months and then get back to
the craft and bring us the stuff.


Bob gets no sympathy. He leaves and George leers at bleeding
Bob as he answers Able.
I know. We did everything we
could, but the probe must have run
out of juice. And the backup isnít
kicking in.
The screen goes dark. Able runs to the front. He grabs an
engineer by the collar.
Get him back. He shouldn't be done
yet. Send the command to activate
the onboard sequence. What about
the deep space network?
George pulls Able away from the man. He looks Able square in
the eye.
Weíve already swept the carrier.
The command to turn on the primary
transmitter went out to the
lander. Then we waited the 40
minutes for the signal, Abe.
Able turns to the screen. George pulls his attention back.
Now, we havenít heard anything
from Station #15 in Goldstone. The
DSN track is over and the mission
is over. Weíve come a real long
way in the time that we had the
Eborp, his name is Eborp.
Eborp...up there. Now, youíve got
to let it go. We canít do anything
from down here but call it a


I said let it go. Let's wrap up
the demolition of the lander. Call
the heads. The press will be
hounding us, I want this done
right. Go back to your office. Let
Bob handle this. Where's Harris?
Bob comes back holding a bloody towel to his face.
Here I am. What do you want?
George throws his hands up.
Oh, forget it, Iíll talk to the
press myself. Go clean yourself
George leaves, glaring at Able. Able stares at the screen.
Bob follows Brinkley out. The door swings into Bob's face
A white fog. We only hear MUFFLED, MECHANICAL sounds. Then
we see EBORP, the newly-landed U.S. probe, lies on his back.

Small, roach-like critters surround him. They scurry away to
red rocks when two probes roll near. ZIP CHAN, a small,
Chinese probe, goes to Eborp's right. SQUOIKEY, the tall
Russian probe (we saw in the first scene) goes to the left.
We see Eborp from their POV.

Eborp hears MUFFLED SPEECH. Eborb blinks. His head shakes
side-to-side, as if waking from a dream. Squoikey's heavy
Russian accent become clear.
Letís get him back to the shop.
Two more seconds, the Corroder
Corps would have zapped him
useless. You know Evol would have
put us in the clapper for that.
                       ZIP CHAN
Ah, yes. New probe be, ah, flat


Zip Chan laughs at himself. Squoikey bugs his eyes out at
Keep it up and Iíll reconfigure
your memory banks to sound like
Squoikey speaks in a New York accent.
Ah, so, ay Zip Chan, lookie at the
little Mars muskrat we got here.
Is this fate or am I dreaminí.
What? You ainít with me on this
Eborp faints. Everything goes dark. We hear Zip Chan speak.
                       ZIP CHAN (VO)
Yes, Squoikeysan, ah, do we use
lifters or shall we drag him?
Eborp drifts in and out of consciousness.
Lifters, dummkopf. Use lifters.
The probes lift Eborp with magnetic device on their "hands."
They lift him up. They roll to the top of the crater. A
huge, quiet, vacuumous sound is heard.

The little roach-like creatures scamper around in the green
glow. Squoikey looks worried.
I look forward to our departure
with great impatience. The
Corroders are multiplying with
each new module that lands.
The probes stop and turn to look back at the lander.
Crawling with the little roach-like creatures, the U.S flag
waves in a breeze. The lander explodes.
Able flops down in the chair. He stares at the blank screen
on his monitor. He talks to the toy.


Well, Ebbie, looks like we lost
Eborp. March 10, 1997. 1:30 p.m.
He leans back in the chair and stares at the ceiling. Scenes
of the probes and real-time events on Mars blip on the
computer screen, but Able doesn't see them.
He could have answered so many
questions. What happened? I
thought we did everything right,
down to the solar panel and the
He picks up the toy. He stares off into space again.
We worked the test beds and it all
seemed to be right. Iím not even
hearing a blip out of him. Maybe
he is dead...
Mars scenes keep coming up on the screen. Able doesn't see

The workers in the control center look to the screen.
One of the workers turns to George.
Commander, the Mars mission is
George sees the message on the screen: MISSION ABORTED. He
mumbles quietly.
Well, this won't make the history
He slowly walks to the control center doors. He pauses, then
speaks to himself.
More like the comic books.


Once outside the doors, reporters close in on George. He
stops. The reporters clamor for his attention. A woman
reporter, EVA BROOKS, talks above the rest.
So, commander, the little probe
didn't make it. You had skeptics,
and you didn't listen. Now what do
you tell the American people, who
sank so many tax dollars into the
Mars Mission for the second time?
Iíd have to tell them that this
time was a learning experience
like the last.
Well, we can rest in the fact that
THIS TIME a human life wasn't
lost. But it did cost a bazillion
dollars...for what, a two-foot
piece of metal and some electrical
The reporters go crazy, shouting and nodding in agreement.
Brinkley calms them down.
We've done the best with the
mission. I've got handfuls of the
best engineers who poured their
guts into the mission.
He points toward the control room.
But this one is in the past. Now,
the only way to win a race is to
be ahead of the rest. And that is
where we intend to take the next
Are you telling us that NASA
intends to try this again?
Lady, you don't know the half of


So, tell us the half of it,
The room becomes quiet. Brinkley realizes he's said too
No comment.
Eva watches George leave. The other reporters follow. She
signals her camera man to cut. He stops and puts the lens
cap on his camera.
Thatís enough Kyle, Iíll see you
back at the station. Iím going to
poke around here for awhile.
The camera man nods. Eva wanders down the hall to Able's
office. She sees him staring at the ceiling. On the walls
are pictures of Eborp and different space flight crews. Eva
knocks on the door and walks in.
Hello, I'm sorry to barge in. I'm
lost. I was wondering if you could
help me out.
Sure, um letís see. You go down
this hallway to the left and you
go up the stairs to the...
She looks confused.
Well, here, let me show you the
Able starts to go out. He realizes she isn't following.
Eva studies the pictures on the wall. She sees Eborp.
Cute little thing, huh.
Yeah, he was quite a guy.
Quite a guy...it was a bazillion
dollar flop...what do you mean?


Hey, what do you know about it? I
know everyone in the space program
and you aren't one of them. You
don't have any idea what a success
this mission was.
Well, it doesnít take a...rocket
scientist to figure it out. And by
the way, Iím Eva Brooks. Hugh
Brooksí daughter.
Able stares. He takes a deep breath. He looks to Hugh
Brooks' picture.

Able leans into his desk and puts his head into his hands.
Eva stares at him for a moment, then sits down. He turns in
his chair to face her. She raises one eyebrow and tips her
head to the side, to wait for his explanation.
Shoot. Let's hear your apology.
You're sorry for the whole team...
the whole space program. You're
sorry for the whole darn world,
Able rubs his eyes.
What was it the president said?
The entire nation sends its
condolences and we offer our
deepest sympathy.
Oh, I am so sorry, Miss Brooks, I
didnít know. Please sit down and
let me explain myself. Iím so
Yeah, right. You know, you can
stick your apology the same place
the rest of them can.


No, I wasn't apologizing for that.
Well, I mean, of course, I am
sorry, but what I mean is I'm
sorry for being so short with you.
Able motions for Eva to sit down.
All I know of Hugh Brooks' mission
is that three men left on the
Mariner 4 to study the Red Planet
and only two came back.
He stands up.
No one here knows what happened.
I'm not even sure the two that
returned know.
He points to a chart.
They were supposed to have flown
by Mars at a distance of 6,000
miles, just to take a few
pictures. Thatís all I know.
Able sits down.
Hmmm...imagine that? No one knows
anything. Sounds like a government
operation, for sure.
Able stares at the little martian toy. Eva realizes she's
gone overboard. There is an awkward silence. She walks to
the Martian toy, picks it up and laughs nervously.
This is your mascot?
She turns the toy backward and then forward.
Could stand to lose a few
pounds...off his butt.
Able McGinnis laughs and it breaks the silence.


Hey...She looks a lot like my last
girlfriend, donít make fun of her.
Sheís quiet and Ebbie loves me
even when I fail.
Eva sits back down.
So, you do admit that the mission
did fail?
Fail, no...
He thinks for a second. Able is near the computer, but
doesn't see the screen.
...the mission just went wrong.
O.K. Iíll stop the questions if
The computer screen blips. Eva sees it, but canít tell what
it is.
Did you see that?
What? See what?
He starts typing wildly. Nothing happens.
What was it you saw?
It was strange. I didnít get too
good a look at it, but it looked
like ...a bubble.
They keep looking at the screen. Still nothing happens.
Are you sure you saw something?


Yes, it just blinked on and off
the screen, and then went out.
Well, maybe itíll come back later.
Yeah, I'm sure it will. Listen, I
need to go grab some dinner and
get home. The cat is probably
looking at the fish tank about
now, wondering how he can get in
without getting wet.
Constructive cat.
Eva laughs and heads for the door and Able follows.
Can ya show me how to get out of
Sure, but would you allow me to
take you out for dinner? I haven't
eaten yet, and my pet has one of
those feeding bowl thingies that
dispenses the food and water. You
really should invest in one of
Yeah? Thatís a good idea. And yes,
I would like to have some company
- even someone from the space
Able grimaces as they leave the room. The computer screen
starts to show blips of Mars.
Squoikey and Zip Chan have Eborp in a small room. On the
wall are robotic arms, buttons and knobs. Eborp is lying on
a table. Squoikey and Zip Chan are standing over him. Itís a
probe version of the game ďOperation.Ē


                       ZIP CHAN
Ah, Squoikey san. Prepare for
memorization transfer implants.
Are you ready?
I was constructed ready, Zip Chan.
The implant chamber is prepared
for placement. Transport the
device now.
                       ZIP CHAN
Ah, implant transported, ah, sir.
Implantation complete,
From the door of the operating room, we hear a ruckus.
In comes a clunky, boisterous probe, BROOKLYN. He has a
thick New York accent.
Hey, what gives, you two? I told
you I wanted to be in on the new
kidís implant. Iím just as much a
part of this as you two. And the
other guys too.
Brooklyn goes to the door and yells out.
Hey, get your tin-can carcasses in
here, you guys. Squoikey just woke
the new kid up. Letís welcome him
to the junk yard.
Brooklyn, why did you do that, we
haven't finished the procedure. It
will frighten him, dummkopf.
Heís already seen you, Squoik,
what could be worse?
Imbecile, just keep quiet.
Remember when we activated you?
You soiled yourself like a nubian.
Fluid everywhere.
Yeah, but that was a lot of
zeeblas ago. This kid is
brand-new. He probably has one of


                       BROOKLYN (cont'd)
those new-fangled systems like Lar
and Cam-Cam. Now ainít America
sweet? Red, white and blue smooth.
Squoikey and Zip Chan keep busy working on Eborp.
Two other probes, LAR and CAM-CAM come rolling in the door.
Cam-Cam is a tall, thin probe. Lar is a short, broad probe.
They are literally joined at the hip. Squoikey connects a
wire and we hear Eborp moan. Eborp suddenly comes alive.
Suddenly Eborp grows arms and legs and his head pops up.
He hits a light above the table with his head.

Squoikey hits a switch on Eborp's body and Eborp stops cold.
Squoikey shakes his bubble-head. He cranes his neck around
Eborp's body at Zip Chan. His eyes bug out again.
                       ZIP CHAN
Zip Chan!
Zip Chan's head turns upside down and lips come out. He
begins to whistle an airy whistle. His head slowly turns
back upright.
                       ZIP CHAN
Yes, boss san. Next time I get
There won't be a next time. This
is the last probe we collect. The
transporter is just about
Squoikey and Zip Chan work a little longer on Eborp.
Evol wants us to work with the new
one. He programmed me after his
last rest cycle. It will be just a
few earth days before the journey
Soon Eborpís arms and legs go back into his torso.
He makes a hydraulic sound as he returns to normal.
Squoikey hits the button on Eborp and he wakes again.
Wow, wow!


Squoikey and Zip Chan lift Eborp upright on the floor.
Eborp then presses his own button and he grows again.
He tries it a few more times, bouncing up and down.
Cam-Cam giggles like mechanized muskrats as Eborp bounces.
Eborp notices him laughing and stops.

Eborp rolls toward them and looks them up and down.
Cam-Cam glows pink from his cheeks. Lar laughs out loud.
Man, you're hilarious! (turns to
Cam-Cam) Cam, we got to learn how
to do that!
Cam-Cam glows redder.
Oh, man, Cam-Cam, take a chance
once in a while.
Eborp looks around the room.
Where am I, and where is McG?
Brooklyn rolls toward Eborp and slaps his back.
He points to each probe as he introduces them.
Hey, welcome to tin central, kid.
My name is Brooklyn and this here
is Squoikey and Zip Chan.
He points to Lar and Cam-Cam.
Those goonies over there are Lar
and Cam-Cam. And your creator is
back on Earth, just like ours. As
soon as you know the new rules,
you'll fit in here. The only
creator we have now is Evol. He
ain't pretty, but he's all we
have. The sooner you learn that,
the better we'll all get along.
What Brooklyn says is true. We are
to serve Evol, not your McG


Well, when do I see this Evol.
Iíll get to the bottom of this.
No! You must never modulate in his
Brooklyn rolls his eyes.
Geez, Squoik, youíre going to mess
him up with your "modulate" spiel.
Brooklyn starts flapping his arms wildly.
Danger Will Robinson!
He turns to Eborp.
Listen, kid, this is it. The last
new kid we got, talked to Evol,
and Evol was so mad that he took
him to the clapper and then melted
him down. He is now a step on the
transporterís ladder. Now, if I
was you, Iíd zip it.
Eborpís mouth mechanically locks. The probes move closer to
gawk at him.
I hope this is not a permanent
Hey, all I did was to tell him to
zip it. I didnít think that heíd
suffer a melt-down. Hey, kid, I
donít mean now.
Eborp slowly opens up his mouth again.
Itís safe to talk now?
                       ZIP CHAN
Yes, ah...ah, what your name?


My name's Eborp.
                       ZIP CHAN
I am Zip Chan, from Japan, ah
Oh, yeah. McG programmed me with
the history, but I guess Iím a
little rusty right now.
Itís no wonder with the Corroders
around you as they were.
Corroders? Who are they?
Those are the scourge of society.
They will crawl all over your
chassis and turn you to a bucket
of rust quicker than you can say
"WD40, please."
Brooklyn shudders.
They will eat your insides out and
leave you layiní all over the
place. Why do you think the dirt
here is that rusty color. It ainít
Squoikey looks at a clock-like machine mounted on the wall.
He turns to the others.
Evolís rest cycle is coming
quickly and we are to take the new
one to him. Come, letís go.
Remember, not one word.
Maybe he's got one of those dual
transmitters. We better deactivate
that until he gets out of out
meeting with Evol, just in case
they try to communicate with him.
Excellent point.


Squoikey goes to Brooklyn and opens a panel on his side. He
pushes a lever. He closes up the panel, then leaves the room
and the rest follow. Eborp closes up his mouth again.
A large chair takes up the whole middle of the room. There
are large mechanized arms and motorized apparatus. The chair
slowly turns around. In it, Evol's sits with his arms
crossed. Three probes timidly approach but stop short of the
chair. Squoikey rolls closer to him.
I trust this probe will be ready
for the transporter journey. Am I
correct in this assumption?
Squoikeyís torso glows green in answer to Evolís question.
Good, good. Looks like youíve done
a fine job with the new one. Turn
him around. Iíd like to inspect
him for corroder damage.
Squoikey turns Eborp around and Evol looks him up and down.
Evol walks around Eborp. Eborp follows him with his eyes,
but Evol can't see.
He looks very clean. Good work for
a tin can.
Evol slaps Squoikey on the back, then turns to sit down.
Squoikeyís eyes bug out and steam puffs out of his ears.
You may go now. I want the
transport cleaned and ready. Oh,
and...check the oil.
Evol laughs hideously as the probes turn and leave the room.
They go down a large hallway lined with rock. Once out of
ear shot, Squoikey goes to Eborp and turns his dual
transmitter back on. He then begins talking.
Iíll show him tin can.
Ay, Squiok, simmer down, boy. Two
words. Clap...per.


Eh, hate to break it to ya, but
thatís one word, Brooklyn.
Yeah, whatever. You take that bag
of bones too seriously, Squoik. He
actually was...funny, for a
change. But you wouldnít know
about that. You got a sense of
humor like a spin cycle. Kinda
                       ZIP CHAN
Spin cycle? What, ah, is spin
Holy, spumoni, Zippy. Ainít you
got any dryer probes in your neck
of the woods? Theyíre a distant
cousin. Humans use them to dry
their coverings. Kinda like
sunshine in a square.
                       ZIP CHAN
Ah, humans. I miss my creator. He
didnít have a dryer probe.
Yeah, Zip, I know what you mean. I
canít wait to get back to see
mine. She was a doll.
You mean you had the female
species for a creator?
Yeah. She is a looker. Well she
was a looker. How long have I been
here, Squoik? Thirty some-odd
years? You know how those humans
age. She might look like Larís
gut. Kinda wrinkly and bobbly.
Lar grabs his middle and flops it. The probes laugh
hysterically. Cam-Cam's muskrat giggle goes above all of
Gotta keep up my probely physique.
Ainít that right, Cam?


Cam-Cam giggles and turns red.
Enough of this, we had better go
to the transport room and prepare.
The probes start leaving.
We have a lot of work to do before
departure. Evol will be briefing
us before we leave and we want to
be ready. Eborp, remember, not one
word to him.
Eborp nods in agreement. The hallway opens into a giant
room. Eborp stops when he sees the rickety transport. The
other probes begin working on it.
What is that?
It's the transport, dummkopf.
Come. I will show you your job.
Eborp rolls around the outside of the transporter. He
notices an American flag on a step. His head drops.
Yeah, kid, I know what you mean.
But soon we will be back there and
with our creators. Chin up, Eborp.
The sooner we get this done, the
sooner we can all go home.
Eborp nods his head at Brooklyn. Squoikey hands Eborp tools.
We will work for some time and
then we will go into the
lubrication module. Come, I will
teach you transformer modes.
The probes go to work.
Able and Eva are sitting on a bench at a planetarium. Able
hands Eva a sub sandwich.


A truce. I am sorry for today, and
for everything that has happened
with your father. I canít change
the past, but I can certainly
change the future.
Able picks up his half of the sandwich.
You know, thatís why we put Eborp
up there. If we can fix our
mistakes and move on, we can learn
from that experience and only get
I suppose. I never knew my father.
I canít say that I miss him, just
that I wish I had known him. You
know that saying, "Better to have
love and lost, than to have never
loved at all?"
Yes, I do - I certainly do.
He looks at his sub, then around the empty room.
There is an awkward silence between them.
Eva finally laughs.
Well, do you care to expound on
No. Not really, just that Iíve
never been in love, per se.
Per se? What about the one that
looks like Ebbie? You know, the
one with the big backside?
Oh, she was just someone to go see
a movie with...
Eva takes a bite of the sloppy sub.
...in a very dark theater.


      (choking and
Well, Iíve never been in love
either, per se. Other than Joey
Kirkendoll, in the seventh grade.
He had this beautiful curly hair
and he could disco like you
wouldnít believe.
Oh, hey, I do a mean John
Travolta. Want to see it?
He stands up and starts to get jiggy. Eva grabs him and
pulls him back down, laughing.
No, thatís O.K. Not here, not
anywhere. Youíre funny for a
computer nerd.
Thatís nothing, you ought to see
my impressions. I have been
mistaken for John Wayne...
(realizes what Eva's just
said)...hey! Computer nerd? I
resemble that remark.
Oh! Get me out of here, somebody!
Too late, youíre my captive
audience, just like Eborp
was...God rest his little steel
Eva casts a sympathetic look Able's way and touches his
hand. She smiles and laughs just a little.
You actually miss that probe,
donít you?
Able looks at her hand and then at her. She draws her hand
away and looks a little embarrassed.
Yeah. I guess you could say he was
like a son. I created him from a
schematicÖjust a sketch. I was


                       ABLE (cont'd)
with him from inception through
lift-off. He was amazing. Oh, I
know he was just a machine, but
there is a lot of me in him.
Well, Heaven help us then, from
what Iíve seen here tonight.
O.K., itís a scary thought, but
wait until you get to know me
before you make any sweeping
judgements of my character. Iím
really a swell guy.
He lifts his plastic spoon, turns it to the convex side.
He acts like heís smoothing his hair in front of a mirror.
Eva laughs again.
A swell guy? Well, I hope I can
get to know you. Iíd like that.
Done. Get your Day Runner out, and
letís put my name in all the
weekends and Wednesday nights.
Thatís Able McGinnis. M. C.
capital G., I. N. N. I. S.
Eva pulls out her daily planner. Able gets a pen out of his
pocket protector.
Here let me pencil me in. I want
all of your time.
Eva laughs while pulling out her buisness card.
Here. I haven't had a Day Runner
for years. Take my card and call
me on Tuesday. I will be out of
town until then and we can set
something up for the weekend.


Thatís two days from now. I donít
think I can wait that long. Can I
go with you?
No, that would NOT be a good idea.
My grandmother would eat you
alive, knowing that youíre with
the space program. Somehow I donít
think youíre ready to meet my
I guess youíre probably right
about that, but Iím a lovable guy.
Iím very much a man to take home
to your mother.
Yes you are.
Iím not sure I care for your
Eva gets her things together. She stands up to go and looks
at the stars.
Thanks. I can now truly say Iíve
had a romantic dinner under the
stars. Call me, O.K.?
No doubt. I feel like Iíve won the
lottery or sumpthiní.
      (shakes his hand)
You're a goofball, but it was nice
to meet you.
She leaves the room and Able sits looking at the card. He
gleefully slips it in his pocket protector and lies back.
The stars swirl and he closes his eyes.
The probes file singly onto a conveyer belt that takes them
into the oil lubrication chamber. Squoikey goes in last and


hits a button on the wall. Music begins and Squoikey twists
the bottom half of his body. All of the probes, except
Eborp, start dancing to the music. They yell over the music.
                       ZIP CHAN
Ah, Eborpsan, why you not groove
in lube?
Yeah, E. You got to loosen up and
give those bendy spots some
Eborp is confused.
This is the lubrication chamber.
The shower is filled with rust
inhibitors to keep the corroders
Kinda like bug spray, Eborp. You
knowÖfor mosquitos, roaches and
all those pesky animals.
Those are not animals, theyíre
The probes continue dancing and Squoikey dismantles his
chassis. The front pops open from his "pelvic area" and a
tube pops out. Lar and Cam-Cam are dancing around. When
Cam-Cam sees Squoikey, he squeals and hides his face. He
begins to glow bright red. Lar swings around.
Oh, Cam-Cam, chill out.
Cam! Ay, boy. When are ya gonna
get over this shower-shock thing?
This ainít fourth hour P.E. Ya
                       ZIP CHAN
What, ah, fourth hour P.E.,


Aw, geez, Zippy. I suppose your
creator never played a real sport,
say football? Hey Eborp, does your
creator play with the pigskin?
Pork rinds?
Enough of this foolishness. Hurry,
please. Evolís rest cycle is
almost over. We need to get to the
wall before he awakes.
Eborp begins to get in the shower, scrubbing himself very
gently, trying to get one spot off his arm.
Aw, now. Letís cut out the mamby,
pamby stuff.
Brooklyn rips the spout out of the wall. He turns it on
Eborp. It sprays hard enough to send Eborp flying across the
room. Eborp screams.
Now, thatís a shower.
They all crack up laughing at Eborp, except Squoikey. He
whops the button that started the shower and the music
stops. He puts his chassis back together.
Line up for the dehydrating
They line up behind Squoikey on a belt-type contraption and
are transported into a large box-type structure. "Jepordy"
theme music starts and they come out the other end. The
music stops.
What is ĎHow dry I am,í ...Thatís
correct, you win the daily double!
Alex, tell the stuffy probe what
heís won!
What are you talking about?


Geez E., I donít think youíll ever
get with the program. What did
your creator do on his days off?
Listen to Barry Manilow or
As a matter of fact, Brooklyn,
Eborp flings his arms out and starts to sing a Manilow tune.
Brooklyn closes his ear vents and rocks back and forth.
Cam-Cam and Lar giggle.

Crimony, somebody shoot that horse
in the leg before he dies a slow
Eborp stops singing, drops his arms and looks at Brooklyn.
No, Brooklyn, you shoot a horse
when he breaks a leg.
Like I said...
Come, quit the silliness and letís
Squoikey leaves the room. Brooklyn goes behind him flailing
and mocking Squoikey. The others follow behind laughing.
Bob and Able sit in Ableís dimly lighted office. Something
blips on the computer screen. Able, whoís sitting in front
of it, sees the blip.
Yeah, McG?


Able points crazily to the screen. Blips are still showing
There, there...did you see it?
The blips now show Brooklynís face. Heís yapping as usual.
Harris looks at the screen and steps back. He then pops the
computer a good one. Able gasps.
Donít do that.
What? Itís some kind of crazy
screensaver. You know the computer
nerds, theyíre always coming up
with some weird thing or another.
Bob pushes up his black frame glasses up over his eyes.
Able looks at Bob as if heís stupid.
Harris. Robert! We are the
computer nerds.
Harris looks shocked and hurt at Ableís words. On the
screen, Brooklyn is still carrying on and the blips get
longer. Able starts typing like a mad man.
Harris is still sulking but snaps out of it and goes to the
Can you check the monitor in the
control room? Iíve got a feeling.
What, youíre kidding right?
No, just go do it, please.


All right, but if Brinkley finds
out, I had nothing to do with
You know nothing...right.
Bob runs out of the office and the blips quit coming. Able
types more. Suddenly, on the monitor, Brooklyn is yapping
again. Squoikeyís hand wraps around Brooklyn's mouth. The
screen goes blank. Bob comes down the hall, banging and
cursing. He bursts into the room.
Did you see that?
I saw it. Donít know what I saw.
I do. It looked like a Joe Peschi
probe on Prozac.
Exactly. Now, what was it?
Harris throws his hands up.
Iím not even going to venture a
Itís got to be Eborp.
Or a really bad sci-fi movie from
the Ď60.
They keep looking at the monitor. No more blips occur.
Evol is at the controls, fiddling with buttons. The probes
come wheeling in. He turns and laughs sarcastically.
Ah, my second string has arrived.


He turns back to the control panel. Zip Chan questions
Squoikey silently, with a crooked eyebrow, about the "second
string" comment.
Squoikey acts like heís dribbling a basketball and shooting.
He sees Evol turn around and quickly stops. Evol looks
suspicious, but turns back to the panel. Cam-Cam signals a
two-pointer (as a referee would). Lar does a happy dance.

Evol turns back around as Lar is finished. Eborp smiles.
Evol approaches him and Eborpís smile drops in sections.
I trust these probes are ready for
our departure?
Squoikey blinks a green light to answer yes. Evol nods and
walks to the probes, inspecting each one. Brooklyn quivers
as Evol looks closely at him. Evol looks down at the floor.
Under Brooklyn is a puddle.
This one is dripping something.
See that that is stopped before my
next rest cycle.
Evol leaves, taking one last disgusted look at Brooklyn.
Squoikey rolls his eyes. The probes roll waaay around
Brooklyn and leave the room. Brooklyn follows them. Once in
the shower, the talk resumes.
What was that?
I donít know, something came over
me and I started vibrating like a
souped up Model Z-blod. Geez,
Louise, he scared me.
One more display like that and
youíll be scrap, Brooklyn. Donít
you want to get back to see your
Yeah, geez. It wonít happen again.


Next time, clamp your outlets with
your shutter circuits. Thatís what
I did.
Hey, good idea, whereíd you pick
that handy tidbit up?
From my creator.
Eborp draws a heavy sigh.
I canít wait to get back to see
                       ZIP CHAN
What, ah Eborp-san, is your
creator like?
Heís like Evol, minus the gills,
stup! Heís human, right E?
Yeah, howíd you know?
Thatís easy. Weíre all here
because of our creators. Us
bolt-buckets would be nothing
without them.
                       ZIP CHAN
True, ah Brooklyn-san. My creator
was most honorable creator master.
Oh, puleeze. Not one of those
chop-suey, numb-nuts kind.
Thatís nun-chucks, Brooklyn.
Yeah, yeah, whatever. He does all
that Kung Fooey stuff?
                       ZIP CHAN
Ah, not so many words, ah
Brooklyn, he battles with wit and
cunning of mind. That why, ah


                       ZIP CHAN (cont'd)
Brooklyn, he build me.
Ooh, triple-threat. Ay, donít
nobody mess with Zippy. Heíll make
egg rolls with yer cabbage, if ya
know what I mean.
Tell us about him.
Well, my creator is trying to get
me home, I know it. Heís the
Cam-Cam blinks excitedly.
Heís smart and he knows everything
about me...except this personality
thing. Anyway, heíll be glad to
see me.
What makes you so sure?
Because...he loves me.
      (rolling his eyes)
Wooo! Now Iíve heard everything.
                       ZIP CHAN
What this love?
A pigment of his imagination.
                       ZIP CHAN
A color?
Brooklyn means figment. But heís
wrong, Zip-Chan. My creator loves
me. It is the way Cam-Cam and Lar
can stay together even when
theyíre apart. Itís the way
Squoikey took such good care of us
the first day we came here. Even


                       EBORP (cont'd)
Brooklyn loves.
Aw, yeah, right. Name one time.
Eborp thinks a minute.
Well, you love yourself. Right?
Whatís not to love? Look at me?
Yes, and we show our love to him
by giving him a raspberry, instead
of dragging him by the circuits.
Leave my circuits out of this. So,
Eborp, answer this one. If this
love is so great that your creator
can find you, where did he get
this love from?
From the creator of all I guess.
Oh, the big guy.
Yes, he gives my creator Ė and all
our creators Ė life.
                       ZIP CHAN
So then, he created Evol?
It would seem so, Zip-Chan.
                       ZIP CHAN
Then what is purpose? Why, ah
Eborp-san, is Evol not our equal
then? How has he power?


The probes are in deep thought. All of the probes stand in
line for the dehydration process. There is steam on a metal
panel to the left of the probes. Brooklyn squiggles in the
condensation. Lar spells out the word ďLOVEĒ as he writes it
in the condensation.
L.O.V.E. We love our creators,
Who doesnít love Brooklyn, right?
Cam-Cam looks at Larís writing. Then he sees the opposite
panel mirrors the word "LOVE," which looks like the word
"EVOL." Cam-Cam gasps, but is pulled into the chamber by
Squoikey leads the probes to the "wall," a large, dark, rock
wall. All of the probes are directly in front of Squoikey,
who opens his chassis to reveal a movie projector. He pushes
some buttons and projects onto the wall. Cam-Cam is in front
of Brooklyn and his head is in the way.
Ay, down in front, gumby.
Cam-Cam, who is in front of Brooklyn, drops his head into
his body instantly. He glows bright red. Lar looks back
toward Brooklyn and raises one eyebrow.
Why donít you put a lid on it, you
stinkiní piece of sheet metal?
Whatís that, rubber gums? Why
donít you separate yourself from
you better half there and come
over here and try to make my day?
You got it Yorkie, Iíll be right
Lar tries to detach himself from Cam-Cam. Cam-Cam holds him
there. Brooklyn begins laughing and making fun of Lar.


Ooh, stop him someone, before he
overheats. Whatís the matter,
canít ya separate yourself from
your little sister?
With that, Cam-Cam rips off the connection. He throws it on
the floor and wheels wildly to Brooklyn. Cam-Cam grows large
and muscular, like a Transformer toy. He sucks in hard and
blows a raspberry all over Brooklyn, who leans way back.
Liquid drips off of him. All the probes laugh hysterically,
then Brooklyn falls on his back.
All right! This is enough. Lar,
you and Cam-Cam need to go back to
your position and Brooklyn...Oy!
Go dehydrate yourself and report
back here.
Brooklyn gets up with Eborp's help. He rolls slowly by Lar
and Cam-Cam, dripping wet. Cam-Cam wipes his mouth off in a
swaggering John Wayne style. Their eyes lock until Brooklyn
is out of sight.
Eborp looks at Cam-Cam and Lar and laughs out loud. Cam-Cam
and Lar crack up too. From the back of the room, Squoikey
lets out a laugh, then snorts. They all laugh until Brooklyn
comes back into the room. Cam-Cam is still giggling as
Brooklyn pats himself with a towel.
Oh, like I donít know youz were
laughing and having a good one at
my expense? Please donít let my
presence stop your fortuitous
Brookly pats himself with a towel.
And Cam-Boy...you might lay off
the lubrication chamber for a
while. Thatís more wet than a
gimmied hydrant on a hot Queenís
Squoikey clears his throat. He leans his head sideways, one
arm on a hip.


Oh, excuse me. Iíll just take my
hot tamales and sit in the
balcony. Geez, canít a guy go out
for intermission?
Squoikey begins show footage of prior space missions: first
walk on the moon, Apollo 12, the Challenger crew walking
happily along. We see a silhouette of all the probes on the
screen, and they jump when the Challenger explodes right
after take-off. Their heads lower in sadness.

We now see Cam-Cam and Lar. Lar has a big tear rolling down
his eye. Brooklyn is beside Lar and leans over and wipes his
tears away with the towel that was around his neck, and puts
an arm around his back. Cam-Cam lays his head on Larís

We see their silhouettes again as an American flag waves in
the breeze. The show goes dark.
Able is working at his computer, looking at schematics of
Eborpís body. The screen begins showing blips of an American
flag blowing in the breeze. Then he sees scenes of the back
of Brooklynís head bobbing back and forth as he goes down a
hallway. Able starts typing fast. He tips his head side to
side to try and make out the scene. Able runs out of the
office and screams for Bob.
Harris, get in here, quick.
Bob comes in panting.
What is it, Able, is it a re-run
of the other night?
Yeah, what do you think this is?
Both of them stare at the screen. The next blip on the
screen stays a little longer than the first. Now Bob and
Able can see the probes walking down a dim hall into their
control center. Brooklyn is seen yapping as usual.
I think, my friend, that we are on
the edge of a simultaneous
breakdown. Good grief, Abe. Tell


                       BOB (cont'd)
me that those arenít probes. And
tell me that I didnít just see
them communicating with each
I canít Bob.
Able sits down hard in his chair in front of the computer.
He is staring at the screen as he continues to watch
Brooklyn talk, arms flailing in the air. Bob just leans on
the wall, looks at the ceiling and closes his eyes. All of a
sudden the scene changes, and soon, standing in front of a
reflective surface, is the probe, Eborp. Able jumps to his
Holy smokes.
Bob snaps to and looks at the screen. They both see Eborp.
I knew it, I knew it. He is alive,
Harris....Itís Eborp.
Bob drops to his knees to get a better look at the computer
screen. He looks up at Able, then down to the screen. Both
are very excited, but Bob slowly speaks.
Color me blue and call me a Smurf.
Itís Eborp.
It is, isnít it. Smack me in the
face, Bob. Iíve got to know if I
can feel pain right now. Smack me,
smack me hard.
I canít smack you, you out-rank
me, McG.
      (losing patience)
Smack me.
Bob looks back at the screen.
Itís Eborp.


Just as Bob jumps up and hugs Able, the door swings open.
They both dance around and as they do, they see Eva standing
at the door. They stop and she stops. They all stare at each
other. Able finally goes to her and pulls her in the door.
Eva, youíve got to see this.
Oh, no, I donít got to see this,
Iíve seen enough. I will come
another time.
She glances at the computer, then takes a closer look.
Hey, isnít that your probe, Able?
Isnít that Eborp?
So, you see him too?
Bob and Able wait to hear her answer.
      (worried about
       their reaction)
Yes. Yes. Did you hear that, Bob?
It is. We werenít dreaming. Itís
Bob and Able hug each other and Eva steps out of their way,
almost afraid to be close to them. The men separate and Eva
keeps her distance.
So what? We have all kinds of
footage of him down at the
No, Eva, this isnít footage. Itís
What? Oh, and I suppose heís on
Mars right now, enjoying the
almonds and chewy nougat.


Eva, itís him. Eborp. And yes,
heís on Mars.
Okay, Iíll play your game. Show me
his panel. Thatíll have todayís
Bob sits at the computer and types in a command that focuses
on a panel on Eborpís chassis. The date is 09/01/99. Eva
pulls back away from the screen, frightened by what she saw.
Sheesh. It really is him.
She grabs Able and they all start bouncing around. They
settle down, though, as the scene starts to change. They see
the probes rolling to the module. The American flag is one
of the first things we see.
Good grief. Look at that. Thatís
our flag, but thatís not the
module we sent him up on. That
looks like one of the Soviet
modules. Itís got to be from the
Able turns to Bob and then back at the screen.
It is, Iím sure of it.
Harris looks up at the bookshelf above the computer. He
reaches up and pulls down a book. He opens to the back, lets
his fingers trail down to "USSR Modules," and then points to
the page number. He flips through the book to the right page
and on it is a picture of the module. Beside it is a picture
of Squoikey.
Here it is, Abe. That is the
module, with a few adaptations
like an American flag, of course.
Able points to the picture of the steps on the module.
And look at the steps here.


These are new. Look at the old
The book picture has different-looking steps. All three of
them just look from the screen to the book. Suddenly,
Squoikey crosses in front of the screen. Able quickly types
into the computer and the screen pulls back. Squoikey is
working on the module.
I don't belive this. That's the
probe. That's the probe that went
up in the '70s. The guy that
created her was Russian.
Naw, that canít be. It just canít
It is, Bob. I mean, look at it. We
all see it right? Eva?
Eva shakes her head in affirmation.

Something is going on here. Weíve
got to get some kind of
communication going. Bob...
Bob is staring at the computer.
Bob suddenly realizes Able is talking to him.
Yeah, yeah, weíll figure something
Bob motions Able out of the computer chair. He sits down,
typing furiously.
Evol takes the photo out of his pocket. He looks at it and
strokes the womanís hair.


Soon, my darling.
A ruckus is heard behind Evol. He quickly stuffs the photo
back in his pocket and wipes a few tears from his eyes.
Itís about time. Iíve been waiting
too long. Line up.
The probes line up.
Iíve just been trying to decide
which one of you least serves my
purpose. I think the one that
leaks - yes, you will stay behind.
Brooklynís eyes widen. He stares wildly at Squoikey.
Squoikey glows green from his chassis and gets a slight grin
on his face. Evol uses a worn pencil to plot lines on a
I am ready to go. Today we will
prepare the ship to leave. You
will stow the gear in the aft bay
and do a check on the systems.
Evol reaches up and gets a flight manual.
At sixteen-hundred, strap the
probes inÖexcept for this one.

He looks disgustedly at Brooklyn.
Take this one apart for spare
parts. He's ruddy, at best, but we
can scavenge the sensors and power
cell for the journey.
Squoikey just nods his head, still smiling at Brooklyn. Evol
turns back around and sits in his chair.
I have been waiting for the
longest time, for this day to
come. They left me here on the
mission that was going to change


                       EVOL (cont'd)
space travel.
Evol pulls the worn photo out of his pocket and shows it to
all of the probes.
Look at this. This woman is my
wife and she thinks Iím dead.
Evol puts the photo back in his left pocket.
We are going back to Earth.
The probes perk up and really listen to Evol. Their eyes
become brighter and they stand a little taller.
Iím going to take back what they
took from meÖ
He pats his left pocket, over his heart.
My life.
Evol stands up and addresses the probes.
Theyíre going to wish they had
waited for me. Theyíre going to be
so surprised when their probesí
triumphant return brings them
their last day on Earth.
He glares at the probes and shouts the command.
Now off to the lubrication
Able and Bob are sitting in Ableís office surrounded by
piles of books, pizza boxes and a prototype of Eborp.
You know Bob, I just canít shake
the feeling that Iíve seen some of
those other probes before.


He picks a big dill pickle slice off his slice of pizza.
Do you remember that nut case they
kicked out of the program just
after the í98 launch?
Bobís black eyes are getting really ugly now. He has a small
Band-Aid over the bridge of his nose. He slips his glasses
on, and the tape on his glasses completes the nerd look.
What? Abe. You need to stay on
track here.
You know, the tech from New York
that kept going on about naming
all of the rocks? Responsible for
naming Scooby Doo and some of the
other rocks up
Oh, yeah, with the mouth. The one
that couldnít shut it? What about
Well, he always kept a version of
the probe he would send. Didn't
they keep records of all the
prototypes around here somewhere?
Bob points to a pile of books under a pizza box.
I think itís in that green book at
the bottom of the pile, under the
pepperoni and dill pickle.
Able sorts through the books and finds the green one. He
makes a face at Bob.
Yes, here it is. I canít believe
you eat pepperoni and dill pickle
pizza, with Thousand Island
dressing on it, no less. What did
you say the guyís name is?
Bob shrugs.


Didnít say it was a guy. And
everyone has different tastes,
Able stares at Bob.
Would you quit eating long enough
to help me here. What was that
Able shuffles through the pages.
It was Miller, I think. Jan
It was a woman? Listen, do
think she's still around? You know
- like alive?
Like, I donít know, but we can
find out. Like, do you want me to
look her up?
Able glares. Bob knows he's pushed too far.
Bob goes to the computer and types in some stuff.
Yep, sheís still around here. Why?
I donít know, itís probably silly,
but letís get her in here. She
might know something about that
probe we saw. Someone has to know
Iíll call her. Uh, Abe, Iíll have
to get her in. Do you think she
still has clearance?


Well, weíll just have to tell
Brinkley that itís research for
the next mission. Just get her in
here and weíll think of something.
Ok. Oh, youíd better check to see
if Eborpís signal is back up. Itís
been about two hours now. If it
comes up, I really think we need
to call Brinkley. Heíll need to
Well, lets talk to Ms. Miller
before we do anything. Letís see
if we really saw what we think we
Bob leaves, nodding, and Able closes the door after him. Bob
comes back in and picks up a few slices of pizza. He also
takes the pickles that Able has picked off his pizza. Then
Bob leaves.
Squoikey is strapping the probes inside the space ship to
get them ready for launch. Brooklyn is begging.
Truly, Squoik, you're not going to
really disconfigure me, are you?
Quiet, you imbecile! Iím thinking
about the best plan for your
Yeah, besides weíve got bigger
worries than your configuration!
The probes hear Evol coming in.


                       EVOL (whispering)
Evolís plan doesnít sound too good
to me. What did he mean by ďtheir
last day on EarthĒ?
                       SQUOIKEY (whispering)
Shush, here he comes.
The probes start working on parts of the capsule. Evol comes
into the ship and sees Squoikey strapping Lar and Cam-Cam
place. He barks commands.
Make sure to get that one apart
before you strap yourself in.
Evol goes to Brooklyn and pushes a button that makes
Brooklyn just collapse to the floor. He sits on top of
Iíve got some planning to do when
we get into orbit. But, I've got
time to work on it, Iím sure Iíll
come up with something.
Squoikey glows green.
They left me here on this planet.
Back home I had a wife and a good
life, and we were going to have a
family. They took all of that away
from me.
Evol stands up to leave.
These probes will have to be in
prime condition for battle. Make
sure the circuits are correctly
wired. I canít have any wires
shorting once we land.
Evol looks down at Brooklynís collapsed body.


Perhaps we should keep this one
whole until I create my plan. Go
ahead and strap this one in too.
Evol leaves. The probes start fidgeting in their restraints
and Squoikey goes to Brooklyn. He talks to the probes as a
Iím going to wake Brooklyn up, but
letís make him think heís one
pulled wire away from
non-existence. Donít tell him a
Isnít that kinda mean?
The probes look at each other and slowly start nodding their
heads and grinning. They speak in unison.
                       SQUOIKEY (in unison with other probes)
Ok, Iím getting ready to wake him.
Squoikey pushes a button on Brooklyn. He awakes and rises
and starts yapping the moment he does.
So, Squoik, did you get that plan
worked out?
Oi. I forgot about the plan.
Squoikey turns to Eborp.
Did you think of a plan?
No, I thought Lar and Cam-Cam
weíre going to come up with


Brooklyn stares wildly toward Lar and Cam-Cam.
Oh, yeah. Nope. Sorry.
What, youz guys are gonna just
leave me here for the rusties?
Na, they'd take one bite of you
and go belly up, writhing in pain,
and all sixteen of their little
legs kicking in the air.
Oh, very funny.
Well, guys, do you think we should
tell him?
The probes all nod their heads, laughing.
Evol has decided to take you with
Yippie skittle!
Brooklyn jumps with glee and starts dancing around,
squeaking as he does.
He's decided to use you as spare
power in the decent into the
Earth's atmosphere.
Brooklyn's glee turns quiet.
You'll probably short out before
we touch down, but that's just a
chance we'll have to take.
Brooklyn looks somber. Cam-Cam can't hold his little muskrat
laughter in, and the rest of the guys join in.


Aw, Brooklyn, you know we wouldn't
leave you here.
Thanks guys. I knew you couldn't
live without me.
Alright. Lets stop the nonsense
and prepare for launch. Brooklyn,
come here. I shall take much
pleasure in binding you.
Brooklyn rolls over to be strapped in.
The family room is warm and inviting with a grand piano,
plus photos all around the room. Evaís grandmother hugs her
and takes her coat.
Eva, itís so good to see you
again. Are you still giving those
NASA guys ďwhat forĒ about that
Mars mission?
Yep, Granny. Just like you told
Eva fake punches and turns to smile at her mother. Evaís
mother, EVANGELINE, laughs at Eva.
Eva, donít egg on your
grandmother. Sheís been working
herself up into a knot all week
Hey. I lost a son to them.
Granny takes Evaís coat and hangs it over the piano bench.
He was a good son and a great


Granny reaches up to a photo on the piano's top. It's a
photo of her son in his space suit. She wipes a little dust
from the glass. There is a photo of a woman - the same photo
that Evol has in his pocket.
The only reason I havenít blown
the whole thing is to honor his
memory. He wouldnít have wanted me
to sully the mission. I kept my
word, but I donít have to like it.
Evangeline goes to Granny and hugs her.
You are the best. I knew it the
minute that I accepted Hughís
proposal and you planned our
engagement party.
Evangeline turns to Eva.
Of course, Eva, I thought your
granny was nuts when she told me
that I'd have to marry your dad in
a space suit - but then it came
They all laugh with some sadness.
Good thing they cut the ring
fingers out!
They laugh again.
But itís way too late to do
anything about it anyway. Letís
just be glad he left this world
the way he wanted to go, on his
way to heaven.
Eva gets up and heads for the dining room, trying to
brighten the atmosphere.
Whatís for supper Granny?


Mother Brooks!
Ok - lasagne. Come in here to the
table and tell us about that young
man you were telling me about on
the phone.
They sit at the table and start passing the food around.
Well, his name is Able.
What the heck kinda name is that?
Just stop and listen, would you,
for heavenís sake.
Granny makes a face at Evangeline.
Heís really intelligent and has a
great, dry sense of humor, kind of
like you said Daddy had.
Granny pours a large glass of wine. Eva starts tipping her
eyebrows at Granny.
What? The doctor said I could have
one glass of wine with my evening
I donít think he meant that you
could have a whole liter. Iím
buying you a flute tomorrow.
Well, what do I need a flute for?
Iíve got that piano over there I
never play it.
Granny, a wine flute. You know
what I mean.


Granny rolls her eyes.
Now back to Able, heís just a very
nice guy. But thereís something I
need to tell you.
Oh, no. He's not one of those
girly-boys, is he?
Granny takes a large swig of wine. Eva stops and thinks a
Anyway, um, no. It's worse than
that Granny. Although he does wear
a pocket protector.
Eva scoops out some lasagna as the women wait for the rest
of the story.
Granny rolls the wine around in her mouth.
Heís with the space program.
Granny spits the wine all over everywhere.
Evangeline and Eva sit steeping in Granny's spat wine for a
moment. Granny looks at the women who are soaked, and she
begins laughing.
Granny, I am definitely going
tonight to get that new wine
Well, promise you wonít bring that
NASA guy to my house and Iíll quit
Heís a very nice man. You need to
give him a chance.
Eva looks at her mom, dripping wet.


And, um, could we get a towel?
Granny runs to the kitchen to get some towels. Eva and her
mom start cleaning up. Eva yells to Granny.
      (wiping her eyes)
Able wasnít even at NASA when
Daddy went missing, he was barely
a child. I really want you to meet
Granny comes back with towels. She hands them to the women
and sits, pondering for a second.
Can he cook? Weíll call him
tonight. We canít eat this.
They all laugh again. The camera pans over to the top of the
piano and stops at Hugh Brooksí photo. The photo dissolves
as Evolís face comes up.
Squoikey is strapping the probes inside the space ship to
get them ready for launch. Brooklyn is begging.
Truly, Squoik, youíre not going to
really diconfigure me, are you?
Quiet, you imbecile! Iím thinking
about the best plan for your
Yeah, besides weíve got bigger
worries than your configuration!
The probes hear Evol coming into the space ship.
Make sure to get that one apart
before you strap yourself in.


Evol goes to Brooklyn and pushes a button that makes
Brooklyn just collapse to the floor. He sits on top of
Brooklyn and starts to talk.
Iíve got some planning to do when
we get into orbit. But, I've got
time to work on it, Iím sure Iíll
come up with something.
Squoikey glows green.
They left me here on this planet.
Back home I had a wife, and we
were going to have a family. They
took all of that away from me.
Evol stands up to leave.
These probes will have to be in
prime condition for battle. Make
sure the circuits are correctly
wired. I canít have any wires
shorting once we land.
Evol looks down at Brooklynís collapsed body.
Perhaps we should keep this one
whole until I create my plan. Go
ahead and strap this one in too.
Evol leaves. The probes start fidgeting in their restraints
and Squoikey goes to Brooklyn. He talks to the probes as a
Donít tell him a thing. Iím going
to wake him up, but letís make him
think heís one pulled wire away
from non-existence.
Isnít that kinda mean?
The probes look at each other and slowly start nodding their
                       ALL PROBES (unison)


Ok, Iím getting ready to wake him.
Brooklyn awakes and rises. He starts yapping the moment he
So, Squoik, did you get that plan
worked out?
Oi. I forgot about the plan.
Squoikey turns to Eborp.
Did you think of a plan?
No, I thought Lar and Cam-Cam
weíre going to come up with
Brooklyn stares wildly toward Lar and Cam-Cam.
Oh, yeah. Nope. Sorry.
What, youz guys are gonna just
leave me here for the rusties?
Na, they'd take one bite of you
and go belly up, writhing in pain
and all sixteen of their little
legs kicking in the air.
Oh, very funny.
Well, guys, we might as well tell
The probes all nod their heads.
Evol has decided to take you with


Brooklyn jumps with glee and starts dancing around,
squeaking as he does.
He's decided to use you as spare
power in the decent into the
Earth's atmosphere. You'll
probably short out before we touch
down, but that's just a chance
we'll have to take.
Brooklyn's glee turns quiet.
Cam-Cam can't hold his laughter in and the rest of the guys
join in.
Aw, Brooklyn, you know we wouldn't
leave you here.
Thanks guys. I knew you couldn't
live without me.
Alright. Lets stop the nonsense
and prepare for launch. Brooklyn,
come here. I shall take much
pleasure in binding you.
Bob and Able are sitting at a table with schematics and
books laying all over the place. A tough older woman, JAN
MILLER, knocks on the door and charges in.
Aye, you two, what gives?
A NASA security officer comes running in behind Miller.
                       NASA SECURITY GUARD
I'm sorry Mr. McGinnis. She just
barged in here and I couldn't stop
her. She said her name was Miller,
Jan Miller.
Able and Bob jump up.


Oh, thanks Ms. Miller for coming
Able turns to the guard.
Thanks for escorting Ms. Miller
down here. You can leave her with
What's this all about? I'm
sleeping in my bed at 2 a.m. and
all of a sudden these goons come
banging on my door. Then they put
me on a jet. I don't like flying.
Miller comes toward Able, who is a bit fearful.
Ms. Miller, please sit down and
we'll explain it all. This is my
associate, Bob Harris.
Miller shakes Bob's hand and laughs at him.
That's quite a shiner, did your
girlfriend give you that egg?
Miller rolls up her sleeves.
Oh, one of your guys kinda looks
like that too, you might want to
have him see a doctor.
She straightens her jacket.
He's the one that put me on the
plane - or should I say, I allowed
to put me on the plane.
Bob stiffens and pulls his hand away from Miller's tight
grip. He shakes the pain out of his hand.


Ms. Miller, we think you can help
us with something, but we need you
to keep it to yourself.
Miller grunts and takes a close look at Bob, then Able.
And you two really think I'm going
to help you? After the way they
treated me in this program?
Well, we were hoping that you
would. You see, we have these
pictures that you might be
interested in.
Able flops photos of the probes on the table and Miller
That's my probe! That's it! Where
did you get this photo?
Able and Bob exchange excited glances.
Well, Ms. Miller, these are photos
from Mars.
Miller squeezes her forehead with her hands.
I...They...we sent that mission up
and I asked if they'd send my
prototype up just to see what it
would do.
She looks at the photos closer.
When they said no, I jimmied a
spot in the bay and put him in
there. I never thought he would
actually make it there. The others
didn't make it.
What others? What are you talking


The mission in the late '80s. We
sent a lander up there and had a
test probe on it. Well, I sent my
probe up there too...they just
didn't know it.
So you're saying there was a
mission we don't know about?
Boy, are you a kid, or what? Yes,
there is a lot that went on back
then. We didn't have to keep track
of every time we went to the john.
Back then, our boss just trusted
us to do our jobs.
And, so you took advantage and
added a little surprise of your
own to the mission?
What can I say? I'm an intelligent
and good looking woman. I got by
with more than most.
Able and Bob look at each other with disbelief.
Ms. Miller, we are getting some
transmissions from Mars. We've
been seeing your probe and several
others up there. You need to see
Bob goes to the computer and types. On the computer screen,
we see all of the probes (from Eborp's viewpoint), strapped
in, except Squoikey.
Jumpin' juju beans.
Miller stares at the computer and breaks into a wide grin.
Yep, that's my boy!


Ok, all we need is your help. We
need to get some communication
going. Do you have any ideas?
Well, how are you getting those
photos? Is it the probe that just
went up?
Yes maíam. They thought it was
over. The mission was scrubbed,
but I started getting some signals
a couple of nights ago. Eborp is
definitely trying to get home.
What kind of souped up name is
Eborp? And so the probe isn't
                       ABLE (miffed)
No, he's not dead. And Eborp is
probe spelled backward.
Miller rolls her eyes, looks at the computer screen again,
and pretty much ignores Able's little fit.
I think I recognize these probes
that are stuck to each other.
He points to the computer screen.
They were an earlier mission than
ours - late '70s I think. This
other one looks like the Japanese
model they were talking about
launching, but I don't recall them
ever doing it.
On the computer Squoikey gets very close to Eborp's lens. In
Squoikey's metal chassis is the reflection of Eborp strapped
to the wall of the capsule.
Whoa, look at this. Is that your
Able and Bob jump up and look at the screen.


That's him again! Bob, look!
He looks great.
Bob turns to Miller.
Now, how do we get in touch, so he
knows that we know?
I've got an idea. Those other
probes have schematics. Let's call
in the guys who worked on them and
see what we can come up with!
Do you know them? Even the Russian
probe's techs?
Yeah. It won't take too long to
find 'em. We meet up once a year
and go over old times.
Miller looks at the screen and flicks Brooklyn's face.
It would be good to prove that he
wasn't a waste of time.
He talks to Able.
All of us guyz together can surely
come up with somethin'. I'll call
'em together and we'll meet here
tomorrow night.
Uh, Ms. Miller.
Please, call me Jan.
Ok, Jan. We need to keep this
quiet for now. We don't want it
to get out until we know for sure
what all this is about.


Sure kid. My lips are zipped.
Miller exits the room, zipping her lip and throwing away the
key. Able types on the computer.
It looks like we're going to get
Eborp home, Bob.
Bob picks up the photos while Able keeps typing.
I'm going to call Eva and get her
over her tomorrow night too. She
needs to be in on this.
Squoikey is loading up the ship and Evol comes in. Squoikey
inspects the probes, who are now all strapped in. Brooklyn
has tape across his mouth.

Squoikey remembers at the last minute to turn off Eborp's
dual transmitter. Evol sits down in his chair.
It's a good day to launch. Get
over in your position and I'll
strap you in.
Evol walks over to Squoikey and straps him in.
It's going to be a bumpy ride.
Evol laughs hideously as he leaves and closes a bay behind
him. The probes start talking to each other.
Did I ever tell youz guyz I'm
scared of flying?
                       ZIP CHAN
Ah, Brooklyn san, did you not fill
your charge before strap in?
Yeah, but this is different. My
creator was scared of flying too.


Brooklyn fiddles with the strap.
She really didn't like flying. Did
I tell you that?
Yeah, we got that the first few
times you told us. Itís all right.
Just close your eye levers.
Brooklyn starts to shut them, but the space shipís engines
roar into life. His eyelids start to flutter and he looks
like heís going to faint.
Oh, geezy-pete, Iím gonna die.
By now the ship is really rocking and the rest of the probes
have their eyes wide open in fear, too worried to listen to
Brooklyn. Eborp tries to change the situation.
UmÖI hear itís good to talk when
youíre scared. Evolís plan doesnít
sound too good to me. What did he
mean by ďtheir last day on EarthĒ?
Lar looks around a takes a gulp.
He definitely sounded upset about
Yeah, man. That didnít sound good.
I thought he just wanted to get
back to see that female human that
he carries around in his pocket.
Well, I donít care what heís going
back for, as long as I get back to
my creator.
All of the probes give careful thought to Brooklynís


We all want that, but what if itís
our creators that he was talking
about destroying? We need to be
All of the other probes show their agreement with Eborp. The
ship shudders wildly. The probes scream.
The bay door flings open. The probes freeze mid-scream. Evol
looks suspiciously at the probes, but goes back out and
closes the door behind him. The probes start slowly and
carefully moving again.
Woo, that was close. Letís not
make him mad. I will be the first
to go, and there ainít no way Iím
going without the rest of yaz.
Well, quit screaming like a little
girl-rover and maybe you'll get to
your creator in one piece.
Perhaps we should wait until after
liftoff to modulate. Let us rest
our circuits for now.
The space ship starts rocking and Brooklyn starts looking
faint again. The liftoff has begun.
Four men are sitting around a conference table. ZIPORA CHAN
is Zip Chanís creator. LARRY AARON and CAMDEN LEESON are the
scientists responsible for creating Lar and Cam-Cam. GUNTER
SCHMIDT created Squoikey.

Able, Bob, Eva and Miller come into the room and sit at the
table with them. Able sets a laptop computer on the table.
Hey guys, itís good to see you


Why you call us here? We much
rather meet at bowl alley. And who
are these persons?
Yeah, yeah, me too, Zip. But we
got a situation here that is gonna
take all of us to work out. I want
you to meet Able McGuiness, Bob
Harris, and that little gal over
there is Eva Brooks.
All of the men acknowledge them.
Able, Bob and Eva, these are the
guys who worked on the probes. At
left, Zipora Chan, the little
Japanese probe.
Zipora bows his head. Able, Bob and Eva bow as well.
Next to Zippy is Larry and Camden,
they are the ones responsible for
the conjoined twin probes, which
by the way, was a really stupid
Larry and Camden look at each other and start to get out of
their chairs. Able tries to calm the situation.
Gentlemen, lets remember the task
at hand, please.
Geez, you guyz really are getting
touchy in your old age. Anywayz,
as I was sayin', this last guy is
good ol' Gunter Schmidt.
They all look from Miller to Gunter.
He put the Russian probe together.
Nobody knew it was a German guy
that made that one - 'til now.
Miller points to Able. Able starts the computer. Tiny images
start popping up on the large screen in the front of the


Weíve got some photos we want you
to look at. And before you look at
them, we need you to promise to
keep this under your hat until we
get it all worked out.
I brought no hat, Miller san.
What he means is, we need to you
not talk about this to anyone,
Yeah, what he said. Able, just
turn that thing on and lets get
this ball rolliní.
If you gentlemen would kindly turn
to the front, youíll see what we
mean. I need you to tell me if you
can identify anything in these
Able adjusts the size of the photos to larger ones and the
men start gasping. Larry and Camden look at each other.
                       LARRY AARON
Hey, thatís our probes! Look at
that Camden!
Camden just smiles. Able, Bob and Eva wait for a reaction
from Camden, but Miller speaks up.
You need to excuse my friend,
Camden. He doesnít talk much.
Camden quickly looks down at the floor.
Just mind that you donít make fun
of him. He can blow up like you
wouldnít believe! Why, I saw
someone make fun of Larry one
night in the command center and
you wouldnít believeÖ
Able interrupts.


Uh, thanks, Jan, but we need to
get back to business here.
Yes, please, my probe up there on
Mars too. That my probe!
                       GUNTER SCHMIDT
Mine as well. Where did you get
these photos?
Able smiles at the whole bunch of them, then winks at Bob
and Eva.
Well you see, it all started one
night after the launchÖ
By now, Brooklyn has been yapping so much that the tape
Squoikey put on his mouth has ripped and is dangling off his
cheek. The probes are just staring at him, bored to tears.
The space ship bucks and shimmies every now and then.
...and as I was saying, the heat
was so bad from the generator.
Eborp's head falls as if he's just dropped off to sleep.
I just kept blowing and blowing
until I couldnít blow anymore and
my wires melted into a puddle of
red, green, yellow and blue
Shut up! I am not going 35 million
miles listening to this all the
way! We need to get our plan
Geez, Squoik. I'm just trying to
liven up the joint. By the way,
are we there yet?
Squoikey smacks his hand to his head several times.


Brooklyn, the minute we land, I am
going to roll to the farthest end
of the Earth from you. Oi!
Yeah, good luck with that. You
heard Evol. We're supposed to help
him out with his big "plan."
Brooklyn does air quotes with his hands, then notices the
dangling tape on his mouth. He pulls it off.
Yes, we must make plans now. I
think we must overtake the ship.
Are you crazy? Evol could rip your
circuits off, tie them in a noose
and hang you from the cargo hold.
The way this ship is rumblin'
you'd be tossed in space - hey,
ain't that a movie?
Brooklyn starts laughing. The probes are getting madder by
the minute.
Brooklyn, this is serious, we need
to get control of the ship and tie
Evol up. He's way out of control.
Kind of like you.
Cam-Cam lights up and giggles.
I think that we need to do it as
soon as possible.
I agree.
Brooklyn crosses his arms in a big, old pout.
Well, I don't think it's gonna
happen, but I'll help, I guess.
What else kinda fun are we gonna


There is the fact that Evol has
decided to use you for a power
Brooklyn loses the attitude.
That will shut you down quickly.
      (clears his throat)
Ok, I'm in. Tell me what you want
me to do, though I'm not exactly
in any position to move here.
Brooklyn tries to move his lower half.
You won't be able to do anything
until Evol comes in to unstrap me.
He will need my assistance the
moment we pass Earth's outermost
Don't we pass through Uranus on
the way?
Brooklyn cracks up laughing at himself. Squoikey is not
amused. He gently hits Eborp in the back of the head.
Pass it on, don't pass it back.
The probes pass a smack down to Brooklyn. Cam-Cam gets to
give it to Brooklyn and delivers the hardest blow of all.
Ay! Just trying to lighten the
atmosphere, guyz.
Dumm kopf! Listen up.
The probes are attentive now.
When Evol unstraps me, I will go
to him and help, but when I come
back, I will unstrap all of you,
only you have to pretend that you
are still strapped in.


Brooklyn starts to speak, but Cam-Cam pops him a good one
When he leaves the room we can
ready ourselves to attack him the
next time he comes into the room.
Oh, man, that will be great,
Squoikey. Cam-Cam, you can wind up
your power punch and give it to
him, right on the kisser.
No, we must keep him awake for the
flight home. We must only trap him
and strap him in while we take the
controls. I do not want him
Cam-Cam glows green. Lar nods his head.
Yeah, what was I thinking? Good
plan Squoikey. What do we do?
Before he comes in, Lar and
Cam-Cam, you get on both sides of
the door and widen your extension.
That will stop him.
Lar and Cam-Cam nod in agreement.
Zip Chan, I want you to turn on
the light.
                       ZIP CHAN
Roger, Squiokey san.
Ok, now Brooklyn, you have the
most important part. I want you to
blow a raspberry larger than
you've ever done in your life. Can
you handle that?
...won't any Queens hydrant have
nuttin' on me!


I knew I could count on you.
So Squoik, what're you gonna be
doin' all this time?
I will be ready to strap him in.
He won't be able to move until we
say he moves.
                       ZIP CHAN
Excellent plan, Squoikey san.
Yeah, Squoikey. Let's do it.
The probes are fired up and ready to go.
The command center conference room is buzzing with Able,
Bob, Eva and all of the techs. Miller is fiddling with the
Man, these new computers are
great, but we gotta get on a big
screen. My eyes ain't what they
used to be.
Sorry ma'am. But we have to stay
in here so we don't get found out.
Bob pulls Able aside.
Couldn't we slip into the Command
Center? No one's around. They're
all home now. There's only the
guards, and if they say anything
we can just tell them we're
researching. It won't hurt.
Able gives it serious thought and nods his head.
Yeah, let's do it. Everyone. Hey,
guys - and Ms. Miller - let's go
into the command center.


The techs get excited.
We can't do anything more in here.
If we want to establish
communication, we need to go where
the communication is.
The techs, Eva, Bob and Able leave the conference room and
go out into the hall. The scene goes slo-mo and inspiring
music comes up and the bunch of them look like the
magnificent seven, charging to battle, with Able in the
      (waving them on)
Let's do this!
They enter the Command Center and the music apexes. The
techs jump up and down and run to the front of the center.
Bob sits at a computer and the screen in the front of the
room comes to life.
Here we go! Bob, get on the same
frequency that we were last night.
Able turns back to Bob.
I want the best conditions for
communication that we can.
Roger, Abe!
What do you want me to do?
Able thinks a minute.
Can you get a camera guy here? But
you have to swear him to secrecy!
      (running to a
He'll be here yesterday. Abe,
thanks for letting me break the
Able panics. He runs to her.


Uh, we're not going to break the
story. I just want you here to
record it. We need to have some
backup if it gets out.
Oh, well, sure. It's ok. My guy
will be cool and so will I. I am
still glad to be a part of it.
Thanks, you won't be sorry.
He kisses Eva on the nose and runs to the front of the room
with the other techs.
No way.
No way.
George Brinkley looks down the hallway from his office at
the command center. He quickly runs down the hall and looks
into the double doors. They suddenly open and Bob comes
bursting out of them. George writhes in pain.
What on earth are you doing in
there and who are those people?
George's nose starts bleeding and Bob reaches for a trash
can to catch it.
Uh, Brink...uh, we were just doing
some research and these people
came in - just walking in and we
really don't...
Get out of my way and get me a
George pushes Bob out of the way, but Bob runs in front of
George to get to Able first.


Now, Brink, before you come to any
conclusions, you need to sit down
and rest a while. You are bleeding
really badly,and with your high
blood pressure it will be worse.
Able comes up to Brinkley with a towel.
Here sir. Hold this on your nose,
but don't tip your head back, it
will stop bleeding on its own.
Everyone is looking at Able.
I learned it in my First Aid
I don't care about any First Aid,
what are you people doing in here?
McGinnis? What is going on?
George, I can explain the whole
thing, you just need to calm down
a minute. I know you're my boss
and you could throw me out in a
second, but just trust me and I'll
tell you everything.
George doesn't want to, but concedes. He sits in a chair and
looks around at everyone.
Now everyone, gather around and
let's tell Brinkley the story.
They all gather around.
The probes are still strapped in for the journey. Evol comes
in to check on them.
Ah, still my captive audience, eh?
Evol laughs and Brooklyn tugs at the straps.


Well, it won't be too long now. I
have decided that I will use all
of you, even the one that leaks.
Evol looks at Brooklyn with disgust.
We will destroy them all.
Evol turns and leaves closing the door behind him.
I'm starting to get just a little
paranoid. Is it just me, or does
Evol not like me?
Yes, you are paranoid and yes,
Evol doesn't like you. You catch
on quick, Brooklyn.
I was being facetious. I supposed
he thinks that we all like him.
Brooklyn tries to scratch his head.
Evol - are you sure that's his
name? Where does someone get a
name like that?
Lar shakes his head.
Brooklyn, don't you remember? I
told you I saw him that day on the
North side?
Lar thinks back to that day.
                       LAR (VO)
Cam and I were walking along,
minding our business and we saw
Evol near the wreckage of one of
the landers. He was writing his
name in the window. Evol - that
was what he wrote.


Lar sees Evol standing behind a broken window. He has
written his name in the red dust on the window. Lar's
dyslexia sees that Evol has written the word "evol," but we
can tell that he really wrote the word "love" in the red
That's his name.
Cam-Cam shakes his head "no" and blinks excitedly. Brooklyn
mocks Lar.
That's his name, don't wear it
Lar struggles in his strap to get at Brooklyn.
Soon, Lar, we'll be free and we
can all take care of Brooklyn. For
now, save your strength to fight
Evol when he comes in.
All right, but Brooklyn, after
Evol, you're next.
Ooh, I am scared.
Brooklyn immediately stops, but he and Lar have a
George and Bob stand beside each other looking at the
screen. They turn when Miller and Able come up behind them.
Miller laughs at their matching black eyes.
Whoa, this place is really hard on
you people.


      (to Able)
Do you know what this means, Abe?
Well, yeah, George. I told you it
couldnít be the end of Eborpís
mission. Heís equipped with the
Yeah, but when youíre in my
position youíve got to look at
things from an administrative
point of view.
And when youíve built a seven
million dollar probe, youíve got
to believe itís going to do the
job youíve built it to doÖ
Bob looks at Able and then to George.
Bob goes to get coffee at the back of the room. George yells
to Bob.
I guess deserve that Bob. But,
thatís quite enough for now. Letís
get going on that communication.
Did you try the dual transmitter?
Yep, weíve been all around and
through that. Seems like we are
gaining and losing the signal
Have you tried uplink directly to
probe, Able san?
Of course, that was one of the
first things that we tried.



Bob is trying to get the coffee pot going. He smacks the
Come on, I need caffeine.
Bob, is that your answer for
everything - to smack it until it
Well, itís not working. Nothing is
happening, no coffee is coming
George goes to the coffee pot and gently flips a switch.
Coffee starts pouring out.
Might help to turn it on.
Bob looks as though heís been struck. He straightens up
turns around and runs to a computer.
Brink, that's it.
Bob types.
What if the dual transmitter was
being turned on and off by the
other probes? That would make it
seem like youíre losing contact,
wouldnít it?
Oh, such a simple answer. No
wonder we didnít think of it. Of
Well, Iím going to check something
Bob types again.
Yep, just as I suspected. Itís
The team gathers around. Bob turns to the team.


Iíll set up a system alarm that
will go off when Eborpís dual
transmitter goes active again.
Then when it is, you can activate
the two-way comms.
Giving us the two-way
communication with Eborp. Genius,
BobÖand George!
Good thinking Bob.
George pats Bob on the shoulders.
Saved yourself.
Yes sir.
Able walks to the front of the room. The screen is black,
but he stares at it anyway. He turns around to the team.
Ok, so what do we do while we
wait? And how long do we wait?
I think we should wait 24 hours.
We can take shifts.
Good idea, Bob.
But what are we going to do when
the comms are activated? Do we see
if heís got soil samples, or
should we have him measure
atmospheric conditions, or what?
Well, letís just see what is
offered, once it happens. If Iíve
learned anything at NASA, itís
donít expect any certain outcome.


Learned that the hard way, didnít
we boss?
Bob and George look at each other. They laugh and George
slaps Bob on the back. He leads Bob to the coffee machine.
Come on, Iíll buy you a cup of
Uh, sir, the coffeeís free here.
George just shakes his head.
Sarcasm, sir?
George nods. Bob slithers to the machine, just as Eva comes
into the Command Center with her camera man. George starts
to admonish her. Able grabs his arm.
George, I asked her to record
this. Sheís promised itís off the
record. Right, Eva?
Right, Able. You wonít even know
Iím here.
See, George, itís ok, letís get
working on the contact.
The camera man and Eva start setting up the video equipment.
The probes are in sleeping mode. The door flings open. The
motion activates the probes, waking them. Evol walks over to
Squoikey to unstrap him.
Wakey, wakey, my little uglies!
He laughs gruffly.


It is time to work out my plan.
You will check the onboard
monitoring systems and replace the
fuel cell main buses.
Squoikey stretches himself out and glows green.
Be done when I come back in here.
Squoikey glows green again. Evol turns, walks out the door
and closes the bay. Squoikey whips around unstrapping Eborp
first. He hits Eborpís dual transmitter as he does,
activating it.
Oh, thanks Squoikey!
Let us hurry, Evol will be back
Squoikey then unstraps Cam-Cam. Cam-Cam tries to move, but
because he and Lar are connected, Lar chokes from the strap
still around his neck.
A little help please.
Squoikey and Cam-Cam realize that theyíre choking him, and
hurry to free him. Cam-Cam blinks yellow all the while.
Brooklyn laughs at the sight.
Hey youz two ought to be in the
Cam-Cam protracts a hidden arm and socks Brooklyn in the
nose in a split second. Stars show up in Brooklynís chassis
and birdies tweet.
Aw, Cam, why you gotta do that?
Why you gotta be such a jerk?
Squoikey is now freeing Zip Chan.
Hush, Evol will hear you.


They started it.
Remember we must look like we are
still strapped to the wall.
Brooklyn is the last to be freed. He takes his head in his
hands and jerks it quickly, cracking every bone in his neck.
It grosses the other probes out.
Ooh, twenty-million miles can
really kink the old joints.
Silence. Are we ready to carry out
the plan?
Letís do it!
The probes high five and Squoikey leaves the room. The rest
of the probes go to their positions. There is silence for a
few moments, then a screen pops open on Eborpís chassis. On
the screen is Able typing on the computer.
Able is typing on the computer.
Guys, did you hear it? The system
alarm went off, heís back online!
I am going to activate the v-wave
frequencies and set up the video.
Bob, can you get the manual on the
receiving systems?
Bob sets his coffee down and runs out of the command center.
George, Eva and the team rush to the screen where blips of
real-time video is beginning to show.
                       LARRY AARON
Hey, what is that?
Bob comes running back into the command center. He flips the
manual to the back.


Abe, just turn the meter 40 clicks
and then prioritize the signal to
link with the Deep Space Network.
That will get the video straight.
Ok, now what v-wave frequency is
that again?
Delta four zero niner, Abe.
Got it. Now I just have to sync
the frequency with the wave.
Suddenly the video is clear. Gasps are heard from the team
members as they see Brooklyn, Zip Chan, Lar and Cam-Cam, who
appear to be strapped to the wall of the space ship. They
try to go closer to see the video, which is being recorded
through Eborpís communication equipment on his chassis.
                       GUNTER SCHMIDT
What is going on? Where are these
It looks like theyíre on a
spaceship. That looks an awful lot
like one of our landers that we
sent up.
Able types some more on the computer.
                       LARRY AARON
Look, Camden, itís the probes.
Theyíre really alive.
Larry and Camden hug each other. Able is still typing.
Iím going to try to get some audio
going. Maybe that will give us a
clue about the probes. Eva, I
think itís about time for you guys
to start recording this. Just for
Able looks at George who is silent.
Here we go.


The audio comes in with static at first but then on the
screen we see Squoikey entering the room. Then we see the
probes get out of the straps.

Lar and Cam-Cam go to the door and extend their adjoining
bar. The scene shifts as Eborp moves beside them. Then the
scene shows Brooklyn getting ready to blow a raspberry and
Zip Chan reaches up, hits a button and turns off the light.

The light stays off for just a few moments when Brooklynís
voice is heard.
Did I ever tell youz guyz I am
scared of the dark?
The team members gasp. Able goes to a computer near the
screen and types some more. The probes can now hear the team
members for the first time.
What was that?
On the screen, Brooklyn looks startled.
Why am I hearing voices? Am I
Able runs to the front of the room. Suddenly on the screen
Zip Chan turns on the light and we see Brooklyn getting his
face in the full screen.
Hey, Eborp, your chassis is
Itís the probes talking!
Did I just hear an echo in here?
Suddenly Eborpís body moves toward the door where a sound is
heard. Zip Chan is seen reaching back up to turn off the
light. The screen is black for a moment, then Evol walks
into the darkened room. We see Zip Chan flip on the light
and we see Evolís backside on the screen. Evol barks
What are you doing? Back to your
positions at once.


We see Lar and Cam-Cam struggle Evol to the floor. Brooklyn
is seen getting ready to blow the raspberry. Eborp yells at
him just in time.
Hey Brooklyn, stop! We got him.
The struggle to get Evol strapped in vicious, and it is all
seen on the screen, recorded from Eborpís chassis. The team
members are too amazed by the events unfolding on the screen
to say anything, until the probes finally get him strapped
in. Evol shouts.
I command you to release me at
The team members canít believe what theyíre seeing. Able
goes to the front of the screen.
Commander, can you hear me? I am a
NASA scientist. My name is Able
McGinnis. Who are you?
The picture on the screen jumps violently.
Thatís my creator! Thatís him.
The probes shush him. Evol is breathless from the struggle,
and he tries to break free from the straps.
Commander, I repeatÖ
I heard you the first time. First,
show me your face.
I wish I could, but we have to
figure it out from this end.
All these years and NASA still
canít work their way out of a
paper bag.
George has had enough.


Commander, my name is George
Brinkley. I demand to know your
name and origin.
Evol stops struggling. He laughs.
Well, well. George Brinkley. I
would have thought you were dead
by now.
George looks around the room at the team members to see if
he sees recognition in their faces.
You know me? Who are you.
Oh, I know you all right, and the
scum you work with.
Brooklyn goes to Evol and tapes his mouth shut. Then
Brooklyn gets in the screen.
His name is Evol. Heís been
keeping us guyz - me and Squoik,
Zippy, Lar and Cam-Cam and Eborp -
all of us hostage. He says when we
land itís going to be an end to
all of youz.
The space ship violently rocks and Squoikey goes out of the
bay then comes back in. Brooklyn goes off camera and
Squoikey gets in the camera view.
We must continue the conversation
later. I need to utilize the
probes to get the ship back on
Wait, did I hear the name Eborp?
Eborpís head is seen coming slowly into the picture from top
of the screen, upside-down. It slowly turns right-side up.
McG? Is that you? Itís me Eborp.


Able wells up.
How, what, why are you talking?
Eborp pulls away from the camera and Squoikey comes into
We will explain about the
modulation as soon as we land, but
if we are to get home, we must
gain control.
Of course. Eborp, weíll talk later
The team members gather around and watch the probes work.
Squoikey shuts off Eborpís transmitter. George pulls Able
aside and Bob and Eva follows.
Able, itís time to call in the
support team. We need the whole
group here to work on this. And I
think itís time for Ms. Brooks to
break the story. This is big.
The whole team scrambles.
Evol is tired from struggling. Brooklyn is in his face,
sticking out his tongue at him. Brooklyn pulls the photo
from his pocket.
You know, Iím surprised that
someone as ugly as you can get
such a beautiful dame. Is she
Evol growls and Brooklyn backs off some.
Well, excuuuuuse me.


The probes are all back in the same room together. Squoikey
hits Eborpís transmitter again and this time the probes see
the command center for the first time on Eborp's chassis.
Would you look at that?
What is it guys? I can't see a
thing from here.
Squoikey goes to Eborp and opens a panel on his chassis.
Suddenly the scene in the Command Center is projected on the
spaceship wall.
There he is, that's McG, my
creator. See him guys? I told you
he was trying to get me home.
Yes, please tell him to hurry.
Evol's strength is amazing. He
could break out of his restraints
at any time.
Able hears the probes talking about him and comes to the
front of the screen.
Who is that man that you have
strapped down?
All of the team gathers around behind Able as he talks.
His name is Evol.
Yeah, and we also call him hu-man.
I guess 'cause he used to be
human, if youz can believe that.
Evol fights his restraints and growls.
It's all of you - at NASA. I went
up on a mission many years ago
with two other men and I was left
George becomes noticibly uncomfortable.


My name is Hugh Brooks, and I was
left behind on that mission.
Eva, who had been standing at the back of the room with her
camera man, screams and runs to the front of the room.
You're Hugh Brooks?
Brooklyn holds up the photo of the woman and looks at it,
then at Eva.
Whoa, Evol, that little girl sure
looks a whole lot like the
gorgeous dame in this here picture
of yours!
George pushes his way to the front of the screen and turns
to address the team.
There's some things you don't know
about one of our Mars missions...
Evol interrupts.
No, I'm not Evangeline. I'm
Evangeline's daughter, Eva. I
think...I'm your daughter.
Evol moans and cries out terribly.
But I don't have a daughter. Is
this some kind of sick NASA joke?
Evol struggles and moans.
That photo, the one that the goofy
probe is holding up, is my mother.
Ay, are all girls this lippy?
Miller runs to the front of the room.


      (to Brooklyn)
Little probeling, I love ya, but
you really need to shut it.
Brooklyn sulks and Eborp takes the photo from Brooklyn's
hand. He holds it up to show Eva.
This is your mother, are you sure?
Absolutely and positively.
Evol is still moaning. Physical changes are starting to
happen in his face. The protrusions are melting away very
I have a daughter. You didn't take
away my life.
Eborp takes the photo to Evol and pats him on the shoulder.
Evol clutches it to his chest.
I always wanted a child with my
beautiful wife. Oh - Evangeline,
is she - alive?
Yes, very much so...daddy.
Evol cries and his features keep changing to a more normal
human look.
You called me daddy.
Yeah, it feels good, doesn't it?
Evol breaks down and sobs.
I'll tell you everything. From
front to back, but I want to see
me love, Evangeline.
Able takes Eva's hand.


I am going to take Eva and we're
going to go get her right now. I'd
like to be the first to apologize
to you Mr. Brooks. I don't know
what happened, but we will get to
the bottom of it.
Please hurry.
Suddenly the ship bumps violently, sending the probes all
over the place. George starts shouting orders.
Come on, now. Let's get the flight
path uplinked and get this ship
home. Abe, hurry and get Mrs.
Brooks. We need to do this
The probes get back up on their feet and Squoikey goes out
the door to the ship's controls.
                       SQUOIKEY (vo)
Zip Chan, I need a wing man. Come
and help me gain control.
Zip Chan goes out of the room. Able and Eva leave the
Command Center to go get Eva's mother.
                       SQUOIKEY (vo)
The rest of you need to prepare
for entrance into the Earth's
atmosphere. Be sure Evol is
strapped in.
You mean Hugh. The man's name is
Hugh. Ay, we need to get him to
the doctor, he ain't lookin' so
Evol is still changing and writing in pain.
Guys, we're doing everything that
we can, just bear with us and
we'll get you home.
The probes look at each other and check to see if Evol's
strapped in good enough.


Eva and Able run up to Granny's home and knock loudly on the
Granny, granny, are you home?
Eva's mom answers the door.
Oh, mom, thank goodness you're
here, we've been looking all over
for you. We need you and Granny to
come to NASA headquarters with us.
Granny comes to the door with her wine flute in her hand.
I'm not sticking one tiny toenail
on NASA property. I lost a son to
them, you know.
Eva takes the flute from Granny's hand, grabs Granny's coat
and pulls Granny out the door. Able grabs Evangeline's hand
and they head for the car.
Oh, no you didn't Granny. Mom, you
will not believe what we're going
to show you.
They pile in the car and drive away.
The team is mulling around the front of the room. The screen
is showing Evol still changing physically. George is pacing
back and forth in front of the screen.
      (to the team)
Well, we're losing power on the
ship. We need to make sure that we
don't have a complete loss of
power or they'll go skipping out
of the atmosphere and we'll lose
Able, Eva and her mom and grandmother come into the room.
Eva turns to her mom and grandmother and smiles widely.


Mom - Granny, look up there.
The two women walk slowly toward the screen, holding Eva's
I told you Daddy wasn't gone.
The women are apprehensive but burst into tears. They hug
each other and pull Eva and Able into the hug.
It's really him, but where is he
and what is going on with all
these men?
Evol hears Evangeline's voice and raises his head slowly.
Evangeline, is that really you?
Yes. My hair's a little grayer
than the last time I saw you.
Where are you? What has happened
to you?
Sweet Evangeline. You're still the
most beautiful woman in the world,
and it doesn't even matter, now
that you are here. And Mother?
Granny is weak with happiness and Miller gets her a chair to
sit in.
Here Mrs. B. Now you just sit here
and take your time.
Son, I never wanted to give up on
you, but it's been so long.
She grabs Evangeline's hand and tries to stop crying.
Your dear, sweet Evangeline has
kept herself for you all these
years. She never gave up, son. She
raised your beautiful daughter and
took care of me. She has been a


                       GRANNY (cont'd)
great source of comfort.
Hugh cries.
I'm so sorry. I gave up. I lost
control and gave in to the hate.
It consumed me and I was going to
use it against all of them.
Mother, I'm so ashamed.
Brooklyn is sobbing. He rolls to Eborp and pats him on the
It wasn't your fault. You had to
survive. They still love ya, right
girls? You still love the big lug?
      (laughing through
       the tears)
We do Daddy. We just want you
George comes up behind Able and pulls him aside.
Uh, Abe. We need to talk, can you
come with me?
George pulls Able away from the group.
What is it, George? Isn't this
Well, it would be, but we've got a
situation that you need to know
about. The ship is losing power
and I don't know how we're ever
going to get them all back.
Able can't believe his ears. Bob comes over to talk with
Oh, no. I can't believe that we've
gotten this far, and now you're
telling me that we might lose


Well, they are losing power, but
we might have worked out a plan
for getting them back.
Bob cringes and looks at Bob.
Do you want to tell him, or should
Maybe you'd better.
Uh, Abe, remember the problem we
were having when the ship jerked -
you know, when you were leaving?
Bob shifts on his feet.
Yeah, and...
Well, the ship took a big hit on
power. We lost all of it, and
right now, we're just running on
back up cells.
Well, that's good, right? They're
Oh, yeah, they're working, but
there isn't enough juice in them
to get home.
Able looks as if someone has punched him in the chest.
Oh. Well, you said you have a
plan. What's the plan.
Eva comes up behind Able and slips her hand in his.
Able, what's wrong? You look sick,
are you all right?
Able puts his arm around Eva.


Um, we need to talk. Let's take
your mom and go into the
conference room.
Do we have to? I don't think we
can tear her away from Daddy.
Able nods and takes Eva's hand. They all walk out the doors,
which are being replaced by the maintenance crew.
Eva, Able, Bob, George and the team members are explaining
to Eva what is wrong.
So basically you're telling me
that you have to use the power
from the probes to get the ship
home? You have to kill them?
Yeah, and even then we don't know
if we'll be able to get them home.
I'm sorry Eva.
No, it's got to work. We're just
going to have faith, right.
Well, hon, I believe in miracles,
heaven knows it's been a miracle
that your father made it this
Ok, then, but let's not tell Mom
and Granny. They've been through
enough already.
Ok, Eva, George will talk to the
others. We'll take care of it.
Oh, Able - I just realized that
for me to get my Dad back, you'll
lose Eborp. I'm so sorry.


Hey, I built him once, I can do it
again. Besides, these last few
hours of seeing him, seeing this
personality in him has been
greater than I could have
George interrupts.
Ok, so let's do it. If you're
praying men and women, it might be
a good time for you to talk to the
                       LARRY AARON
No you stup, the man upstairs.
Oh, yeah.
The team gets up from their chairs and leave the room.
The team comes back into the Command Center. Able and Bob go
to computers and Eva joins her mom and grandmother up front.
The probes tell me that we're
losing power.
Yes, we're going to take care of
that right now.
No, I can't lose him again, there
must be something you can do?
George goes to Evangeline and Granny. He kneels on the floor
beside them. Eva pleads with her eyes for George not to tell
them. He shakes his head.
I'm sorry Eva, the cat's out of
the bag. Ladies, we are going to
have to take an alternative route


                       GEORGE (cont'd)
to get them home.
But you will get them home?
All we can promise is our best.
Now, they are coming into Earth's
atmosphere and they will need
extra power to do it. There's none
left on the ship, so we're going
to have to improvise.
George gets up. Able goes to Eva and holds her hand.
                       LARRY AARON
Ladies, we're going to use the
probes to power the ship to get it
home. It should really be enough
to bring them home.
Well, sonny, why are you so sad?
Because, Granny, it will destroy
the probes to get them home.
On the screen, we see the probes look at each other.
Brooklyn's mouth is wide open.
I'm truly sorry that it will have
to end this way.
Yeah, right, you probably were
planning this all along.
Yes, but I didn't know that I
would not want that at the end.
But, I have to get back to see my
sweet family. Please, just allow
me this much.
Of course, we understand. Your
NASA may find a way to restore us
once we land.


That will take decades, and you
know it Squoik. We're doomed.
No, Brooklyn. Now let us take off
his restraints and prepare
ourselves for the power download.
Squoikey unties Hugh from the restraints. Hugh has changed
completely back into his human self. He grabs Squoikey's arm
and smiles gratefully.
You have been a faithful helper
all this time.
Hugh is set free. He slowly gets up and the probes line up
to connect to the power source.
This is it. I'm really gonna die.
So long cruel world. So long
luxurious lubrication chamber
baths and circuit breakers!
Brooklyn, knock it down a few
notches, besides the rest of us
would like to say a few words.
Able, see ya on the other side.
Eborp waves to Able. Lar and Cam-Cam wave too, then Zip Chan
and Squoikey. They all are in place and Hugh pushes the
button that deactivates them, which gives him the power to
get home. The probes instantly drop their heads.
It's done. Now all we need to do
is break the atmosphere and get
Hugh turns and goes to the ship's controls. He straps
himself in for the ride.
It seems to late too say this, but
my creator probably doesn't listen
to me anymore. Would you say a
prayer for me.


Eva, her mom and grandmother all cling to each other and bow
their heads.
Navy frogmen stand ready, watching the sky for the spaceship
to splash down. As it comes into view, all of the men cheer.
The parachute comes open and the ship coasts to an easy
splashdown in the ocean.
A van pulls up to the front of the center where the whole
team and a legion of reporters are waiting for them.

Hugh Brooks steps out and the whole crowd cheers. He walks
to Evangeline, Eva and Granny and gives them a group hug.

He kisses Evangeline for the first time, then turns to Eva
and looks at her face for the longest time. The he kisses
her on the nose.
It's so good to see you. You are
as beautiful as your mother.
      (to Eva)
Don't you have something to ask
your father?
She starts to talk but a large cargo truck pulls up behind
the van. Men jump out and open the door on the truck. A
forklift rolls up and begins to unload the dead probes from
the back.
      (to Able)
It can wait.
No hon, it's all right. Go ahead.
We could use some happiness right
Daddy, will you do me the honor of
walking me down the aisle at my


He looks at Able and back at Eva.
I'll do you one better honey, I'll
pick you up and carry you to him.
He sweeps Eva up in his arms and twirls her around. They all
smile and are overjoyed at the sight. The crowd cheers and
the cameras flash.

The forklift disappears into the building.
Bob and Able, Larry, Camden, Miller, Zipora and Gunter are
walking behind the forklift. Their sullen faces watch as the
probes are loaded into a large room with lots of junk and
old probe prototypes. Bob and Able stand at the doors and
the forklift driver waves at them.
Well, they sure were good little
probes. They outlived all of our
They all shake their heads in agreement.
My little guy was the best of all.