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Hurt
by Matthew Davies (mattyd_is_ace@hotmail.co.uk)

Rated: R   Genre: Drama   User Review: ***
PROPA BO!


ITS MINE!



HURT

INT. PROFESSIONAL RADIO STUDIO - DAY
                                                            
The screen is black and the sound of a bird twirping is
heard for a short five seconds, the image then cuts into
view of a bird stood on a branch before flying away. The
ripples of a resevoir are viewed and heard, the morning is
calm and the sun is rising.

A man walks into a radio studio and adjusts his seat and
microphone. A man through the glass holding a folder and
counting down with fingers begins to speak through a mic on
the opposite side of the glass.
                                                            
                       JOHN
And your on in 5,4,3...
                                                            
                       RICHARD
      (smiling and
       cherpy)
Hello everyone, Im Richard Swaby
and this is your Sunday morning
show. What a beautiful winter
morning it is outside, the birds
are singing, the airs still, the
skies clear and the suns shining.
Makes a bit of a difference to
yesterdays weather, it was tipping
it down, almost flooding. Anyway
to kick it off here's a song from
a new band, there called ........
and the song is ......... Enjoy!
                                                            

2.

As Richard is speaking and as the song is played, potential
characters are shown turning on their radio's, a woman in a
car, a man having a shower, a man in the alpes with a hand
radio, a man sat in a church praying etc. Cut in between are
shots of nature such as birds singing, the sun rising, the
trees swaying in the breeze (images of tranquility).

Suddenly the song comes to a cut stop and a man is seen
stood in a resevoir up to his waist, fully clothed holding a
body wrapped in bin liners. He drops the body into the water
and cleans his hands of the blood. Turning around he walks
away, the audience unaware of the characters facial
appearance.

Cut to black.

(As scene 1 is rolling the title and credits appear on the
screen)
                                                            
 
INT. MICHEALS HOUSE - DAY
                                                            
Subtitles: 24 hours prior
                                                            
(close up) an alarm clock switching from 8:59 AM to 9.00AM,
as it hits the hour a wake up message comes on, a mans arm
roots around the cabinet looking blindly for the alarm
clock, feeling around he grabs it and turns it off.

The man climbs out of bed in only his underwear leaving his
wife still in bed sleeping, he goes into the bathroom and
washes his face to wake himself up, Looking in the mirror he
feels his stubble and climbs into the shower. Clambering out
and drying himself he walks downstairs with a towel around
his waist and pours himself a bowl of cereal, he switches on
the news.

The report shows a dead body found in a forest with a bullet
wound to the head, believed to be connected to big time loan
shark Don Mackenteir, however there is no evidence to prove
this.

Micks hand begins to shake, putting the cereal down on the
table and switching the tv off with the remote, he looks at
a photo of his family left on the sideboard.

He walks upstairs past the bed and pulls some clothes out
of his wardrobe, he slips them on quickly and begins to
root around for a red shoe box he has hiden on the top
shelf. He opens it cautiously and in doubt, staring at the
gun in a daze for a few seconds he sticks it in the back of
his pants and puts his jacket on to cover the gun from

3.

sight. He places the shoe box on the top of the wardobe and
closes it.

Walking over to the bed he puts his hand on zoe's arm and
kisses her on the shoulder.

Waking up she turns over and looks at him smiling...
                                                            
                       ZOE
You were gonna leave without
saying goodbye?
                                                            
                       MICK
I was gonna leave without worrying
you.
                                                            
She puts her arms around the back of his neck and pulls him
down kissing him...
                                                            
                       ZOE
You take care of yourself and ill
see you tommorow.
                                                            
He pulls up from out of her arms and holds her hand...
                                                            
                       MICK
theres nothing to worry about, ill
see you tommorow.
                                                            
                       ZOE
Love you
                                                            
                       MICK
Love you too
                                                            
He kisses her on the forehead and walks out of the room on
his way picking up a pillow and throwing it at her.

                                                            
                       MICK
      (Smiling almost
       laughing)
Dont go back to sleep lazy
                                                            

4.

Zoe watches him walk out of the room smiling, as he leaves
her face turns to worry. Mick walks down the hall to Joshuas
bedroom and opens his door quietly, walking over to joshua
who's cover has slipped off, he pulls it back over him and
kisses him on the head.

Stroking his hair he smiles and walks out of his bedroom
taking one last look before he shuts the door.

Suddenly his mobile rings, he picks up...
                                                            
                       LEE
Hey im outside now
                                                            
                       MICK
Cheers Lee, ill be out in a minute
                                                            
He hangs up the phone and walks down stairs, opening the
door up to a dark rainy day he sees lee sitting in a car
outside his house waiting for him. He runs out closing the
door behind him and jumps in the passenger seat of the car.
                                                            
                       LEE
Everything okay
                                                            
                       MICK
      (nodding and
       smiling
       worryingly)
Yep
                                                            
                       LEE
After today its all over
                                                            
                       MICK
      (mick smiles and
       breathes deeply)
Lets go
                                                            
Lee begins driving out of the avenue and away from micks
house. As he is driving mick pulls the gun from behind his
back (unknowingly to Lee) and pushes it down the side of his
seat. He turns on the radio as they drive off. The voice
comes on the radio...
                                                            
                       RICHARD
And thats pretty much it today for
me, richard Swaby, youve been a
wonderful audience...
                                                            
 

5.

INT. RADIO STATION - DAY
                                                            
Richard is sat in the radio station just finishing his
saturday morningh show.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
...have a wonderful weekend. Until
tommorow heres a tune im gonna
leave you with to brighten up your
day on this wet and windy morn.
                                                            
He fades in the song and takes his head phones off placing
them on the desk.
                                                            
                       JOHN
Thanks richard that was great,. I
take it your coming to the
christmas party tonight?
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Ive got a few things to do first
but yeah definately, See ya there
mate.
                                                            
Richard picks himself up and heads out of the studio.

Cut he is walking out of the building towards his car,
getting in he drives off and dials a number on his phone...
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Yeah, im on my way now, ill be
five minutes.
                                                            
He hangs up the phone and carries on driving.
Cut he pulls in to the car park of a private bar. Looking
around he gets out of his car and runs out of the rain and
inside.
                                                            
Two police officers are watching as Richard runs into the
bar.

                                                            
                       JIM
      (Pulling out his
       binoculars
       looking)
Hey, Nige!
                                                            
He swings his arm around and hits Nigel waking him up.
                                                            

6.

                       NIGE
      (tired and barely
       awake)
What? What?
                                                            
                       JIM
isnt that that radio presenter
guy. The morning show guy you
know? err, Richard Swaby?
                                                            
He puts the binoculars down and looks at Nigel.
                                                            
                       NIGE
I havent got a clue i just listen
to the radio, i dont take any
notice of who's presenting it.
                                                            
Jim pulls his walkie talkie from his vest up to his mouth
and speaks.
                                                            
                       JIM
Captain?
                                                            
                       POLICE STATION
      (Pause)
go ahead
                                                            
                       JIM
this is officer James Thompson
number 3467575, we have a new
suspect, just gonna ask you to put
a lead on him,its Richard Swaby,
the radio presenter guy, his
number plate is -------
                                                            
                       POLICE STATION
Thanks jim, its taken care of
                                                            
                       JIM
over and out
                                                            
He puts the walkie talkie back down from his mouth and sits
watching again. He puts his hand in a box on the dashboard
and pulls out a sandwhich and begins eating, picking up
another pack of sandwhiches he throws it in Nigels face.
                                                            
                       JIM
      (laughing)
Wake up you lazy bastard
                                                            
Nigel wakes up and tiredly wakes up opening the sandwich
packet.
                                                            

7.

                       KELLY
Youre a lazy bitch, howd you ever
make it as cop?!
                                                            
 
INT. THE BAR - DAY
                                                            
Richard dries himself off and takes off his coat before
walking over to the bar.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
A jamersons please sean
                                                            
Sean pulls out a glass from under the bar and pours richard
a jamersons.
                                                            
                       SEAN
he's expecting you. He said you
can go through when youre ready.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
thanks sean
                                                            
Richard downs his drink and walks through the door on the
right hand side of the bar. As he walks in Sean watches him
and pics up a walkie talkie from behind the bar.
                                                            
                       SEAN
He's coming in now.
                                                            
He puts the walkie talkie down (as it hits the surface cut
out).
                                                            
 
EXT. PETROL STATION - DAY
                                                            
Cut in. Mick and Lee pull up to a petrol station, pulling in
Danny gets out of the car beginning to fill it up. Mick gets
out of the passenger side.
                                                            
                       MICK
Im just gonna go and make a phone
call, alright mate?
                                                            
                       LEE
      (Nods, smiles)
Take your time.
                                                            
Mick walks off getting the phone out of his pocket, he
begins to ring a number whilst Lee finishes filling up and
walks into the shop to pay. Mick puts the phone to his ear
as it begins to ring.
                                                            

8.

                       MICK
Dario?
                                                            
a close up of a man with a phone to his ear is shown, as he
smiles the camera pans round to show he is in the french
alpes.
                                                            
                       DARIO
Ahh, ive been awaiting your call
                                                            
                       MICK
were ready, lets get down to it,
where are you?
                                                            
                       DARIO
Im in eastern europe taking care
of some business.

The package is coming in today
fresh from barcelona, one of my
men picked it up from there he's
transporting it back to you via
hand luggage.

But you wont pick it up from
there...
                                                            
As dario is speaking a young man is shown carrying a black
duffel bag through the streets of barcelona, walking through
the airport and getting on the plane.
                                                            
                       MICK
Okay, So what do i do?
                                                            
                       DARIO
My man will be arriving
momentarily, as we speak, from
there one of my "employees" is
going to pick up the bag from the
airport.Her names kelly, she's
gonna meet you at the Multi story
city stadium car park, top floor
at midday sharp. She's on a job
dont hastle her,dont hold her up,
just get the bag and walk.
                                                            
As dario speaks we seeantonia getting off the plane with the
bag and handing it to kelly who walks off with the bag.
                                                            
                       MICK
its done
                                                            

9.

Dario hangs up. Mick pulls the phone from his ear and walks
back to the car where danny is waiting.
                                                            
                       LEE
Everything good?
                                                            
                       MICK
we gotta meet them at Multi story
city stadium car park, top floor,
Midday.
                                                            
He walks around to the passenger side. and talks to Lee over
the top of the car.
                                                            
                       LEE
      (Looking at his
       watch)
Right, jump in, weve not got long
                                                            
The two get in the car syncronised and shut the doors as
they are shut cut out.
Or cut out as the wheels spin, as they drive off.
                                                            
 
INT. KELLYS CAR/AIRPORT CAR PARK B - DAY
                                                            
Kelly walks towards her car and opens the door, throwing the
black duffel bag on the seat and drives off quickly.

The car is shown going at great speeds, swerving through
traffic, as she drives she puts on her lipstick and make-up
etc.

She arrives at a car park and drives to the top floor where
Mick is stood outside the car waiting, Dannny sat inside.

Kelly's car comes to a halt and she gets out of the car with
the duffel bag in one hand.
                                                            
                       MICK
Kelly?
                                                            
She smiles and walks over to him placing the bag in his
hands.
                                                            
                       KELLY
hows the kid?
                                                            
                       MICK
He's getting better, he's alright
now....Thankyou
                                                            

10.

She winks at him and walks back to her car reversing and
driving off speedily as Mick stands there with the bag.
                                                            
 
INT. DOCTORS OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Subtitle: The Kid
1 year ago
                                                            
Kathy Drake is seen walking down a hospital ward with her
diagnosis folder in her hand, as she walks down she arrives
at a set off doors, opens her folder for a last look takes a
deep breath and walks into the room where Mick and Zoe are
sat holding hands infront of her desk.
                                                            
Kathy sits down on the chair on the opposite side of the
table...
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
Mr and Mrs Andrews im afraid i
have some rather difficult news
for you.

It appears after recent tests that
your son Joshua has a rare heart
disease called-----------. Its
usually passed on from the fathers
side. Having a child at your age
has a huge probability that the
child will be fine, however it
does have its negative sides, it
appears the real father of your
child may have had what we
call------------ and it has been
passed down.
                                                            
Zoe is seen crying and breaking as mick holds her in his
arms.
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
Im sorry to have to tell you this,
but the operation is long and
takes a huge degree of skill,
equipment and drugs subsequently
surgery will cost 25,000 . Im
sorry, I hope you find a way.
                                                            
                       MICK
Thankyou Doctor
                                                            
The doctor walks out of the room and zoe is left crying in

11.

Micheals arms. The camera pans out, and the memories of
Mick, zoe and their son flash by, inbetween are shots of mik
talking to danny and mik in bed snot being able to sleep.

Fading out from memories of his family he walks into a
building and asks a man for 20,000. The music fades out and
the picture fades out to Mik stood in the car park with the
duffel bag as his flashback comes to an end.
                                                            
A tear drops down from miks eye and over his cheak. He turns
around and gets back in the car, danny sits and waits for a
while as they drive oput of the car park calmly.
                                                            
 
INT. BAR - DAY
                                                            
The police are sat outside of the pub in their car talking
to one another.
                                                            
                       JIM
Im telling you you havnt a chance,
and you wonder why you havnt got a
girlfriend?
                                                            
                       NIGE
whatever man she wants me, ive got
my moves
                                                            
                       JIM
      (laughing)
Oh Yea, Like what?
                                                            
                       NIGE
you know like, my dancing moves
give em a little spin around on
the floor and your in there
                                                            
                       JIM
      (laughs)
Mate when we get off this shit, im
taking you out. youre a bleedin
charity case
                                                            
                       NIGE
eyy, its not that bad
                                                            
Dannys car pulls into the car park
                                                            
                       JIM
      (he jumps up and
       pulls out his
       camera,taking
       photos)
            (MORE)

12.

                       JIM (cont'd)
Eyy up, looks like we've got more
visitors
                                                            
                       NIGE
Who's it this time, you recognise
them?
                                                            
Cut to Lee and mik inside the car...
                                                            
Mik and Lee pull up outside the pub. Danny pulls the bag
from mik and begins to open it...
                                                            
                       LEE
Right, lets take a look at what
all this was about.
                                                            
                       MICK
I dont wanna know, if it means my
debts paid im happy not knowing
                                                            
                       LEE
Come on. Arent you just a bit
interested to see whats in here?
                                                            
                       MICK
Its none of our business, ill
leave you to it.
                                                            
Mick climbs out of the car and walks into the bar. Cut to
police taking his photo.
                                                            
                       NIGE
Wheres the other guy, i thort
there were two?
                                                            
                       JIM
Yeah there were, the other guys
still in the car.
                                                            
Cut to Lee:Lee opens up the bag. He begins to pull out all
the clothes.
                                                            
                       LEE
      (Rooting around)
What the fuck?
                                                            
He suddenly comes to a stop, looking extremely worried.View
from inside the bag looking up at Lee in shock
                                                            
                       LEE
      (Looking worried
       from side to
       side, and taking
            (MORE)

13.

                       LEE (cont'd)
       a deep breathe)
Shit.
                                                            
He takes a deep breath and gulps closing the bag quickly. In
shock and speechless he walks into the bar with the duffel
bag.
                                                            
cut to the police taking photos of Lee with the bag.
                                                            
                       JIM
Here he comes... Iv seen these
guys before. Makes you wonder
whats in that bag though dunnit...
(smiles)
                                                            
Nige smiles. Cut to Lee entering the bar and handing the
duffel bag to Mick.
                                                            
                       MICK
You okay? you look a little pale.
                                                            
                       LEE
Im fine

(He looks at Sean)

A Jack Daniels and a ...
                                                            
                       MICK
A pint of Staropramen please mate
                                                            
Sean begins to pull the drinks.cut out.
                                                            
 
INT. DONS OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
The conversation between Don and richard is just coming to
an end.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Who the guys you got to pick up
the package?
                                                            
                       DON
Just a guy that owes me a few
favours in return for some money
he couldnt repay
                                                            
                       RICHARD
You put some guys on the package
that you didnt even know?
                                                            

14.

                       DON
Believe me this guy aint goin
anywhere, you gotta learn that
theres no one more trust worthy
than a guy who has his family
threatened
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Thats sick! But i trust youre
judgement.
                                                            
                       DON
So how do i get in contact with
dario if i wanna do business with
him again?
                                                            
                       RICHARD
You dont, you wanna deal with
dario then you go through me, you
earn his trust then youll go
direct.
                                                            
                       DON
Well then i hope ill be seeing
more of you soon
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Its been a pleasure Mr Mackenteir.
                                                            
                       DON
Oh and Richard could you tell the
man outside to come in, his names
mick, he's got the delivery, if
theres anyone with him tell him to
come in alone.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
No problem.
                                                            
Richard walks out of the office through the kitchen and into
the bar area...
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Mick?
                                                            
Mick stands up with the bag in his hand and drinks the last
of his drink.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Dons ready for you now
                                                            
Danny stands up to go with mick.
                                                            

15.

                       RICHARD
He goes alone
                                                            
Danny sits down and orders another whisky as Mick walks
through the back, Richard watching the bag in his hand as he
walks past, then Richard walks over to Danny and sits next
to him.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Same again thanks sean
                                                            
 
INT. DONS OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Mick is shown walking through the kitchen and into dons
office with the bag in his hand. He arrives and Don looks at
him smiling. Without a word Mick puts the bag on the table
infront of Don who puts it on his knees, he takes the
clothes out of the bag and places them on the floor at the
side, peering at the bottom of the bag he looks pleased and
closing the bag places it on the floor next to him.
                                                            
                       DON
It seems our deal is complete, you
held your end of the bargain and
now ill hold up my end, your free
to go. May your child live many
years and a long happy life.
                                                            
                       MICK
and you
                                                            
Mick turns around towards the door, smiling
                                                            
                       DON
Oh and one more thing, did you
happen to look in the bag?
                                                            
                       MICK
      (Shaking)
No
                                                            
                       DON
You seem a little nervous Mr
Andrews
                                                            
Don see's that Miks hand is shaking and makes a hand gesture
towards David telling him to stop Mick. Walking up to him
David grabs micks arm sticks it behind his back and slams
his face on the table
                                                            

16.

                       DON
      (Angry)
Did you look in the bag?
                                                            
                       MICK
No. i swear
                                                            
Don pulls out a gun and sticks it to micks face.
                                                            
                       DON
Youre lying tell me the truth or
ill redecorate this place and it
aint gonna look pretty, and when
im done with you ill start with
youre little boy, then your wife.
And when im done with them ill
kill the rest of youre family and
then rest of hers. But i dont
really wanna have to go to all
that trouble so youve got 5
seconds... did you look in the
bag?!
                                                            
As Don is saying this he see's the image of his son and his
wife getting murdered.
                                                            
                       MICK
Okay! Okay! Lee , Lee looked in
the bag.
                                                            
                       DON
Fuck! Call Sean and tell him to
stop Lee, tell him to Knock hin
out cold. He needs taking care of,
we cant let our little secret get
out.
                                                            
                       DAVID
Sean, we've got a problem, stop
danny, do it descretely, take him
out cold and tell Richard to drive
Micks car round. put Lee in the
trunk of the car and do it
quietly, were being watched.
                                                            
David walks over to the phone and rings sean at the bar who
is seen picking up the phone before he pulls a gun from
under the bar and shoots straight through into Lee's leg
Knocking him to the floor, Walking around to the opposite
side of the bar Sean knocks him out cold with the butt of
his gun.


17.

Sean ties up the body and puts it in the boot of the car.

Cut to cops in car
                                                            
                       NIGE
      (on walky talkie,
       mid conversation)
It looks like a body being boosted
into the trunk of the car. The
victim appears to have serious leg
injuries. Something big is going
down, suggest possible murder.
Request position to move in?
                                                            
                       POLICE STATION
Negative, Stay on Mackenteir, keep
on the subject, we'll get a trace
on the car, repeat Stay on
mackenteir.
                                                            
                       JIM
Shit!
                                                            
Cut back to Dons office.
                                                            
                       DON
We've got a problem now, we cant
have anyone knowing whats in that
bag...youve got a choice take care
of your friend Lee or ill take
care of your family...Do we have a
deal?
                                                            
                       MICK
      (closing his eyes,
       upset and in
       desperation
       whispers)
Yes, yes we have a deal
                                                            
Don sits back down on his seat and david pulls micks fgace
back up off the table loosening his grip
                                                            
                       DON
Okay, Davids gonna go with you,
he's gonna make sure everythings
done right. Listen kid its nothing
personal, you make the mess you
clean it up, now take care of it.
                                                            
                       DON
Right David youre gonna drive,
youre gonna take Mick with you and
drive to the resevoir half a days
            (MORE)

18.

                       DON (cont'd)
drive from here, Micks gonna take
care of Lee bury the evidence then
youre gonna get a phone call in
the morning at 10:00, thats gonna
be me making sure everythings gone
smooth, now get going...

Oh and one last thing any funny
business and the men waiting
outside your wifes home are gonna
get the chance to lay off on their
itchy trigger fingers...
                                                            
Mik nods and David and Mick walk out of the door, get in the
car and begin to drive.

Cut to the police watching

                                                            
                       JIM
There on the move
                                                            
He says speaking into his walkie talkie.

The car is seen driving off in the distance.

Cut to black.
                                                            
 
EXT. RESEVOIR - DAY
                                                            
the sun is just rising to a beautiful morning and a radio
presenter is shown, setting up before going on air, mixed in
are scenes of nature and a montage of people waking up to
the beautiful day. The radio presenter airs.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
      (smiling and
       cherpy)
Hello everyone, Im Richard Swaby
and this is your Sunday morning
show. What a beautiful winter
morning it is outside, the birds
are singing, the airs still, the
skies clear and the suns shining.
Makes a bit of a difference to
yesterdays weather, it was tipping
it down, almost flooding. Anyway
to kick it off here's a song from
a new band, there called ........
and the song is ......... Enjoy!
                                                            

19.

Richard plays the song. As he's speaking there is a montage
of the characters getting up and listening to their radios
etc. As the song is played Mick is shown pulling a body bag
through the woods and into the resevoir. he drags the body
in so he is up to his waste in depth, he drops the bag in
the water and and walks out shaking and distraught. As he
reaches the car Mick gets in to the drivers seat(the
audience unable to see who else is in the car.
                                                            
                       MICK
Its done
                                                            
Looking disturbed the camera pans around to show Lee alive
and well in the passenger seat and zoe and josh sat in the
back. Lee puts his hand on micks shoulder
                                                            
                       LEE
You did what any man would have
done to save the ones he loves
                                                            
                       ZOE
Thankyou Danny, we couldnt have
asked for a better friend.
                                                            
                       MICK
      (taking a deep
       breath and
       starting the car)
Okay, make the call
                                                            
Danny dials 999 on the phone taken from Davids Jacket.
Acting frantically...
                                                            
                       POLICE STATION
Hello emergency services
                                                            
                       LEE
Hi, iv seen something terrible!
Ive just seen a body being thrown
into the resevoir.
                                                            
                       POLICE STATION
Okay sir calm down, im going to
need you to tell me where you are?
                                                            
                       LEE
Im at Devadine Resevoir,just
outside olbaid city, on the dog
walkers path.
                                                            
                       POLICE STATION
Ok now sir im going to take down
your name and some information and
            (MORE)

20.

                       POLICE STATION (cont'd)
a police car has already been sent
its going to arrive as soon as
possible.
                                                            
                       LEE
Im sorry, i left my red jumper on
the tree where the body was
thrown, its about 3ft i, ull find
it easily enough. I have to go
                                                            
                       POLICE STATION
Sir? Sir?
                                                            
Lee hangs up the phone and smiles at Mick.
                                                            
                       LEE
The police cars already on its
way, it shouldnt be long before
they find the body.
                                                            
                       MICK
Alright. Is everyone okay back
there?
                                                            
                       ZOE
Yeah we are now
                                                            
                       MICK
Okay so now all we have to do is
wait till Don calls.
                                                            
Smiling but nervous they drive off and go onto the motorway,
show the time on the car clock 8:10.And show them carrying
on driving.Fade in to Don putting on his suit and walking
into the church, he looks at his watch, close-up 09:55. he
gets inside and sprinkles himself with holy water, then sits
down and begins to pray, before he gets a phone call.
                                                            
                       DON
David... is it done?
                                                            
                       MICK
Its not David, its Mick, and yeah
its done.
                                                            
                       DON
What are you doing? Put David on
                                                            
                       MICK
David isnt going to be able to do
that. When you ask ordinary people
to do something that jeapordises
their loved you wouldnt believe
            (MORE)

21.

                       MICK (cont'd)
what they were capable of, You can
do some extraordinary things when
youre on the edge!

Davids dead, it seems when he was
driving we had a little accident.
                                                            
Show David being shot in the head and then taking danny out
of the boot and replacing him with david.
                                                            
                       DON
I swear youve just made the
biggest mistake of your life, im
gonna hunt you down, im gonna tare
your family apart. As soon as i
hang up this phone the two men
sitting outside your house are
gonna burst in and fuck your wife,
torture your child. There gonna
beg to die before this is over.
                                                            
                       MICK
I dont think so. I told you dont
pressure a man on the edge of
losing everything, your men are
dead, my wife and child are here
with me.
                                                            
                       DON
I swear im gonna hunt you down
and...
                                                            
                       MICK
Your not going to be doing
anything where youre going, it
seems the police found Davids body
after a scared and anonomous
caller tipd them off, and
strangely enough the body was
found with confessions and written
evidence connecting you to half
the crime in this city, Not to
mention the posession of an
extremely potentially dangerous
package! any second now youre
gonna get the cops swarming all
over you
                                                            
As Mick is talking the actions will be played as flash
backs. Cut to the police in the car, outside church.
                                                            

22.

                       POLICE STATION
We have a warrant for Mackenteirs
arrest, he is in posession of an
extremely fragile package, its
going to be well protected but we
need to get hold of it, Move in on
Mackenteir. Now
                                                            
                       JIM
Roger that
                                                            
The two pack themselves with guns and jump out of the back
of the car.

cut to Mick on the phone.
                                                            
                       MICK
Its been nice doing business
Mackenteir. I hope you fucking rot
in jail!
                                                            
Mick hangs up.
                                                            
                       DON
Fuck you, you son of a bitch
                                                            
Don hangs up the phone and walks out of the church to see
his men being shot and jims gun in his face.
                                                            
Cut to mick Driving away smiling, everyone is in
conversation in the car, happy to be alive, however the
words cannot be heard. Fade out.

The credits role.

As the credits are rolling show a side screen, a close up of
a radio.
                                                            
                       RADIO NEWS
And Breaking News today as a body
was found earlier this morning in
Devadine resevoir, Big time loan
shark and mob connections Don
mackenteir was arrested when
evidence connecting Mr mackenteir
to the murder and numerous other
crimes, was found mysteriously on
the murdered bodies person. Police
believe this to be the first of
many arrests to half the cities
crime leaders.
                                                            
Fade out and the credits keep on rolling.
                                                            


THE END


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From Darren Kalado Date 12/8/2006 **1/2
Wait, so you rated your own script, gave the highest rating and acted like it wasn't yours?...That's kind of...odd. Anyways, the script is fine, a bit of grammar errors, but it needs something more to keep interest.

From Matthew Davies Date 11/21/2006 ****
I thought that this story was an excellent reflection upon previous time montaged stories such as meento or pulp fiction. The story is somewhat more dramatic and less action packed which makes it rather origional and a first for a story like this. However I feel your grammar needs a little improvement


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