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The Lang Motel [first draft]
by David Shute (thelang@butterflybullseye.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Film Noir   User Review: ***1/2
This was thrown together rather quickly. I know I'm huggin' it in some places and I know it's rough. It was an exercise just to get me back in to writing again after an 18 month hiatus. This is a very rough first draft, intentionally short, that was written off the cuff in seven days. In the past I've worried over minor details enough to stall all forward momentum. This was designed to get me back in to the groove and move past that type of self defeating obsessing. If you enjoy it, cool. If not, no worries. I have no plans to work on this script past this point. It will likely stay in this rough draft version barring some minor grammar or spelling tweaks. http://forum.butterflybullseye.com/viewtopic.php?t=3


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



EXT. THE LANG MOTEL - DAY
                                                            
JAYNE (30) is being lead to her hotel room by EDDIE (20).
The LANG MOTEL is your typical roadside stop. Eddie rambles
as they walk toward the room.
                                                            
                       EDDIE
I got you staying down at the end
here. It's room 23. It's pretty
isolated down here so you really
shouldn't have any problems with
noise or anything.
                                                            
Eddie fishes the key out of his pocket. He spins it around
his finger as they walk.
                                                            
                       EDDIE
You're far enough away from the
road that you shouldn't hear any
traffic. The trucks roll through
at night but this far back you
won't notice. We're not all that
busy at the moment either so I
made sure you don't have any
neighbours.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
I appreciate that.
                                                            
They approach room 23.
                                                            
                       EDDIE
This is it.
                                                            
Eddie slides the key in to the lock.
                                                            
 
INT. ROOM 23 - DAY
                                                            
The door swings open and Eddie waves his arm.
                                                            
                       EDDIE
After you.
                                                            
Jayne steps in and takes in the room. It's very basic. The
typical bed, TV, and a couple chairs. He sets the key on the
dresser.
                                                            
                       EDDIE
I'm just gonna leave your key
here. If you need to call out
press '9'. You need to call the
            (MORE)

2.

                       EDDIE (cont'd)
front desk to order any of the
'speciality' channels. Just press
'0' for that. Although we probably
won't hear from you.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Why wouldn't you hear from me?
                                                            
                       EDDIE
In six years I've never had a
woman staying alone call to
activate the special channels.
Enjoy your stay.
                                                            
Eddie begins out of the room.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Uhm... I'm sorry. I'm terrible
with names.
                                                            
                       EDDIE
S'okay. Eddie.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Eddie. Sorry. Is there anywhere
good to eat around here?
                                                            
                       EDDIE
Depends on what you're looking
for.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Something close.
                                                            
                       EDDIE
I'll see what I can dig up for
you. All the restaurants around
here keep dropping off menus. We
keep a pile in the front office.
I'll bring some down for you,
okay?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Thank you.
                                                            
                       EDDIE
No problem.
                                                            
Eddie heads out the room and closes the door behind himself.
                                                            
Jayne pulls her cell phone out of her purse and makes a
call. There is a long delay before she starts talking.
                                                            

3.

                       JAYNE
Hey babe. I just wanted to let you
know that I'm in town. I don't
know when you'll get around to
getting this but I'm here whenever
you do. Room 23. I grabbed
everything you asked for. I know I
won't see you until tomorrow but
I'm ready whenver you are. Call me
when you get this. Love you.
                                                            
Jayne hangs up her phone. As she's tossing it on the bed
there's a knock at the door.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
That was quick.
                                                            
She opens the door. ZED (late 30s) is standing at the door.
A gun is in his hand resting at his side.
                                                            
                       ZED
Mind if I come in?
                                                            
 
EXT. GARAGE - DAY
                                                            
BRODIE (30) is sitting outside a garage on a rusted out old
car. He stares absently at the ground while smoking. His
cell phone rings. He answers it. Zed's on the other line.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Where the fuck are you?
                                                            
                       ZED (O.S.)
Rudy's fucking the dog.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
What's the problem? Just get the
fuckin' car and get back here.
                                                            
                       ZED (O.S.)
Something happened with Leon last
night. I think he got picked up on
something. Either way Rudy isn't
doing shit until Leon's clear.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
When's that?
                                                            
                       ZED (O.S.)
Probably not until tomorrow.
                                                            

4.

                       BRODIE
Fuck!
                                                            
                       ZED (O.S.)
Relax. It's okay. I got a place we
can lay low. It's smooth sailing
little brother. We just need to be
patient.
                                                            
Brodie drops the phone down to his side. He takes a long
drag off his cigarette and begins pacing.
                                                            
                       ZED (O.S.)
Brodie? Brodie? Come on.
                                                            
Brodie tosses his cigarette and puts the phone back up to
his ear.
                                                            
                       ZED (O.S.)
Brodie?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Yeah.
                                                            
                       ZED (O.S.)
Don't freak out. It's gonna be
fine.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Yeah.
                                                            
                       ZED (O.S.)
Rudy's not dealing with us right
now. I can't change that. What do
you want me to do?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Come get me. Now.
                                                            
                       ZED (O.S.)
Car's already junked. I can't.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
What the fuck?
                                                            
                       ZED (O.S.)
I junked it before I was supposed
to meet Rudy just like we
discussed. I didn't know Rudy was
gonna flake until after the fact.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Where are you?
                                                            

5.

                       ZED (O.S.)
At the Lang. Room 23.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I'll be there in twenty minutes.
                                                            
Brodie hangs up the call with out waiting for a response. He
starts walking away from the garage.
                                                            
 
INT. BRODIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
                                                            
Brodie is sitting in his darkened apartment being
obliterated by his television. The TV is the only light
flickering in the room. Brodie sits in a T-shirt and
underwear in a chair, beer in hand. He barely blinks.
                                                            
There's a loud knock at the door. He doesn't acknowledge it.
                                                            
There's another loud knock. Brodie rolls his head to the
side and yells.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You got the wrong place!
                                                            
Brodie rolls his head lazily back toward the TV. He takes
another deep swig off the beer bottle. Another loud knock.
He closes his eyes and sighs.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Fuck off! You've got the wrong
apartment dickhead!
                                                            
There's a long moment while the TV continues chattering on
alone. Brodie sits listening intently. After the moment
passes he relaxes back in to his chair. As he brings the
beer bottle up to his lips there's another loud knock at the
door.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
God damn it.
                                                            
Brodie sets the beer down on the table and launches out of
his chair. He stalks toward the door.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Every other way I have to explain
this hurts.
                                                            
There is a baseball bat leaning in the corner beside the
door. He grabs it as he opens the door.
                                                            

6.

                       BRODIE
You have the wrong... Zed?
                                                            
Zed is standing in the hallway. He has a wide smile across
his face.
                                                            
                       ZED
You and my mother. How come I'm
always the wrong Zed?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Jesus. Long fuckin' time.
                                                            
Brodie reaches across with his free arm and hugs Zed.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
How's it goin', little brother?
What's happenin'?
                                                            
                       ZED
Same old, man. You?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
About the same.
                                                            
Zed grabs the baseball bat from Brodie.
                                                            
                       ZED
Finest in home security, huh?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
It's worked so far. Come on in.
You want a beer?
                                                            
                       ZED
How 'bout you put on a pair of
pants and we go out instead?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Definitely.
                                                            
Brodie takes back the baseball bat and sets it back in to
it's corner. He opens the hallway closet and pulls out of a
pair of pants. He pulls on the pants and heads out the door.
The door slams closed behind him.
                                                            
 
INT. APARTMENT HALLWAY - NIGHT
                                                            
Zed and Brodie head away from the apartment down the
hallway.
                                                            

7.

                       ZED
You not gonna lock that?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Nope. Nothing worth stealing.
                                                            
                       ZED
Right. So you always keep your
pants in the hall closet?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Yeah. So what?
                                                            
                       ZED
Nothing. Nothin' at all. It's good
to see you.
                                                            
 
INT. BAR - NIGHT
                                                            
Zed and Brodie enter the bar. It's very slow. The bartender,
DENNY, has his back to the door as the guys enter.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
This is gonna be good.
                                                            
Zed and Brodie step up to the bar. Brodie slaps his hand
down.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Denny. A couple beers.
                                                            
Denny turns and takes a quick look. He shakes his head.
                                                            
                       DENNY
Son of a bitch. Where'd you'd dig
him up?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
He just popped by.
                                                            
                       ZED
Fell outta the sky really. What're
you sayin', Denny?
                                                            
Denny ignores Zed and continues talking to Brodie.
                                                            
                       DENNY
What'd you do, call him? It
doesn't count if you're pulling
shit together behind my back.
                                                            

8.

                       BRODIE
It's on the level. Zed just
stopped by.
                                                            
                       ZED
True story.
                                                            
                       DENNY
Fuck. I can't do it today.
                                                            
Brodie laughs.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Don't worry about it.
                                                            
                       DENNY
Is Friday alright?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
How bout you take care of our
drinks tonight and we'll call it
even.
                                                            
                       DENNY
A couple beers it is.
                                                            
Denny pulls a couple beers out of the fridge, pops the caps,
and leaves them on the bar.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Thanks, Denny.
                                                            
                       ZED
Thanks.
                                                            
                       DENNY
Un-fucking-believable.
                                                            
Denny moves on to the next customer. Zed and Brodie grab
their drinks and cross the room to grab a table.
                                                            
                       ZED
What was that about?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Two hundred and fifty dollars.
                                                            
                       ZED
It was about me, wasn't it?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Yeah.
                                                            

9.

                       ZED
What'd you do? Bet whether or not
I was a dead?
                                                            
The conversation hiccups for an awkward moment. Brodie stops
mid-drink. He nods with his mouth full of beer.
                                                            
                       ZED
Seriously?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
In all fairness you've been gone a
long time, Zed. And I was the one
who bet on you still being with
us.
                                                            
                       ZED
I guess that's something.
                                                            
Brodie pulls out a cigarette for himself. He offers one to
Zed. Zed waves it away.
                                                            
                       ZED
I quit.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
No shit? It has been a long time.
                                                            
                       ZED
Almost eight years gone. A couple
on the smoking.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Yup. So...
                                                            
Brodie shifts uncomfortably in his chair.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I mean, don't take this the wrong
way or anything but, what the
fuck? Eight years, man.
                                                            
                       ZED
I needed a change of scenery.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I get that. I do. But you just
bailed. It was a complete fuckin'
dick thing to do but I get it.
                                                            
                       ZED
So then what's the problem?
                                                            

10.

                       BRODIE
Problem is I don't know why you're
back. You're not here to visit,
are you?
                                                            
                       ZED
No. No, I'm not. I got a job lined
up.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I've been out of the game a long
time. Oddly enough, eight years
actually.
                                                            
                       ZED
It's okay. Won't matter. It's
straight up in and out. We'll be
long gone before anyone even
realizes we've been there.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
What do you need?
                                                            
                       ZED
A place to crash, a place to
prepare, and my partner.
                                                            
Brodie hesitates.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
How soon?
                                                            
                       ZED
Three days.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I got a place you can crash either
way.
                                                            
                       ZED
And the other two?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
How 'bout we worry about it in the
morning?
                                                            
                       ZED
Cheers.
                                                            
Zed holds up his bottle and they cheers. They each take a
healthy drink off their bottles.
                                                            
 

11.

EXT. THE LANG MOTEL - DAY
                                                            
Brodie approaches room 23 from across the parking lot. He
tosses his cigarette and knocks on the door. Zed calls out
from inside the room.
                                                            
                       ZED (O.S.)
Come in.
                                                            
Brodie opens the door. He takes a step in and freezes, his
gaze fixed.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Zed, what the fuck's going on,
man?
                                                            
 
INT. ROOM 23 - DAY
                                                            
Zed is sitting over the end of the bed watching TV. A gun is
sitting on the bed beside him. At the head of the bed is
Jayne. Her wrists and ankles are bound with zip ties. Her
mouth is gagged.
                                                            
Brodie's gaze is fixed on Jayne. Zed glances back at her and
chuckles.
                                                            
                       ZED
I told you we'd need zip ties.
Come on in. Close the door.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
What the fuck is going on?
                                                            
                       ZED
Come inside and lower your voice.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
No. I wanna know what's going on
right fuckin' now.
                                                            
                       ZED
We needed a place to crash and I
found us a place to crash.
                                                            
Zed gets up and grabs Brodie by the arm.
                                                            
                       ZED
Now come in and lower your fucking
voice.
                                                            
He pulls Brodie in to the room and closes the door behind

12.

him. Zed crashes back down on the bed in front of the TV.
Brodie stands there fixed. There is a long moment before
Brodie speaks up.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I'm pretty sure I didn't sign up
for this, Zed. What the fuck is
going on?
                                                            
                       ZED
We needed a place, little brother.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Who is she?
                                                            
                       ZED
The chick staying in the room. How
the fuck should I know?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Jesus. We should be fucking gone
by now!
                                                            
                       ZED
If you're worried someone saw me,
don't. We just gotta book up for
the night and then we're golden
first thing in the morning. This
isn't all that bad. Not as bad as
you think it is anyway.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
It isn't all that fucking good, is
it?
                                                            
                       ZED
How many times do I have to tell
you to keep it down? It isn't all
that bad until someone complains
about the noise.
                                                            
Brodie looks back over to Jayne. The zip tie on her ankles
is tight. It's cutting in to the skin.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Jesus, Zed.
                                                            
Brodie crosses the room and approaches Jayne. He pulls out a
small pocket knife.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Hold still.
                                                            
He cuts the zip tie off her ankles. She doesn't move.
                                                            

13.

                       BRODIE
What have you gotten us into this
time?
                                                            
                       ZED
We're here and there's no changing
it. Suck it up.
                                                            
Brodie pulls up a chair alongside the bed to sit facing
Jayne. He pulls a gun out of his waistband and sets it
beside himself on the night table. He's careful to make and
maintain eye contact with her.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Do I need to go through the
speech?
                                                            
Jayne shakes her head 'no'.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Good. Stay quiet and we'll stay
friends.
                                                            
Brodie reaches across and unties her gag. She's very quiet
when she talks.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Thank you.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
What's your name?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Jayne.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Alright, Jayne. Are you alone?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Yes.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You expecting anyone? Anyone
coming by the room to meet you?
Anyone who will miss you if you
don't show up?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Not until tomorrow.
                                                            
While they talk Brodie grabs the phone off the night stand.
He rips the cable out of the back of the phone and sets it
back down.
                                                            

14.

                       BRODIE
When?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
I don't know. Probably afternoon.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You got a phone?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
In my purse.
                                                            
Brodie grabs her purse and fishes through it. He locates the
cell phone. He pops the battery out and pockets it. He drops
the phone back in to her purse.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I'm just gonna hold on to that for
a little while. Anything else I
should know about?
                                                            
Jayne is about speak when there's a knock at the door.
Brodie and Zed immediately grab their guns. All eyes are on
the door.
                                                            
 
INT. BRODIE'S APARTMENT - DAY
                                                            
Brodie is sitting at the dining room table in front of an
open window. The morning sun is pouring in. He is staring
absently out the window with a cup of coffee and a cigarette
keeping him company.
                                                            
Elsewhere in the apartment a toilet flushes. Zed emerges
from the hallway. He immediately opens the fridge and begins
rooting around. Brodie takes his gaze off the window just
long enough to comment.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Good luck.
                                                            
Zed closes the fridge. He stands there empty handed.
                                                            
                       ZED
So what do you think?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I get the feeling you're not
telling me something.
                                                            
                       ZED
I talking about breakfast. You?
                                                            

15.

                       BRODIE
I've known you too long. What
aren't you telling me about this
job?
                                                            
                       ZED
Once it's done it's done. You do
this with me and we leave. We
finish the job and we walk away.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
For how long?
                                                            
                       ZED
Forever. The more distance we put
between us and here the better.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
That's a lot to ask.
                                                            
                       ZED
I know.
                                                            
Zed sits down across the table.
                                                            
                       ZED
I know I'm asking a lot. I do. But
I can't pass on this job. I'm not
in a position to pick and chose.
I'm in either way. I'd prefer to
have my partner there knowing I'm
covered.
      (beat)
Besides, wasn't leaving always the
plan? It's enough money that you'd
never have to come back anyway.
                                                            
Brodie nods absently.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
What are you thinking about for
breakfast?
                                                            
Zed smiles and pulls his keys out of his pocket. He slides
them across the table.
                                                            
                       ZED
I'm thinking I'm buying if you'll
go get it.
                                                            
Brodie slides the keys back across the table.
                                                            

16.

                       ZED
You gotta be kidding.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I never did bother learning how to
drive. There is a pretty good
restaurant around the corner
though?
                                                            
                       ZED
So I'm buying and picking up? I
don't think I like the sound of
that deal.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
It's only five minutes away. Let's
just walk over.
                                                            
 
INT. ROOM 23 - DAY
                                                            
Everyone is frozen staring at the door. They talk barely
above a whisper.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Don't do anything stupid.
                                                            
There's another knock at the door.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I thought you weren't expecting
anyone?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
I'm not.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Someone saw you. They had to.
                                                            
                       ZED
No one saw me. Maybe they saw you.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Fuck.
                                                            
Another knock and a voice from the other side of the door.
                                                            
                       EDDIE (O.S.)
I got those menus for you. Sorry I
took so long.
                                                            
Jayne's expression immediately changes from concern to
relief.
                                                            

17.

                       JAYNE
It's just the kid from the front
desk. I asked him if there was
anywhere around here to eat at.
                                                            
They all immediately relax.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Goddamn it.
      (to Zed)
Do something with her.
                                                            
Brodie jams his gun in to his waistband while Zed is
collecting Jayne off the bed.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Be right there.
                                                            
Zed takes Jayne in to the washroom and closes the door.
Brodie steps up to the door and opens it. He opens it just
enough to stand in the way, blocking the entire room. It
doesn't stop Eddie from trying to look past him. Eddie seems
shocked a man is answering the door.
                                                            
                       EDDIE
Where's the, uh... I brought some
menus down.
                                                            
Eddie doesn't hold them up to be taken.
                                                            
                       EDDIE
She had asked for them when she
checked in and I just wanted to
make sure she got them.
                                                            
Brodie snatches them out of his hand.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Thanks. I'll make sure she gets
them.
                                                            
Brodie turns back in to the room and begins closing the
door. Eddie puts his hand up and stops the door from
closing. Brodie turns back to him clearly annoyed.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
What?
                                                            
                       EDDIE
It's just, you know, she, uh...
                                                            

18.

                       BRODIE
She's in the bathroom right now.
What do you need?
                                                            
                       EDDIE
She only rented the room for one.
                                                            
Brodie tosses the menus toward the bed. He whips out his
wallet and pulls out a fifty. He hands it to Eddie.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Does that cover it?
                                                            
                       EDDIE
Yeah it does, but
                                                            
Brodie cuts him off.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Just make sure we're left alone.
Alright?
                                                            
                       EDDIE
I can, uh. Yeah. I guess so.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Thanks for the menus.
                                                            
                       EDDIE
You're welcome.
                                                            
Eddie stands there at the door.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Bye now.
                                                            
Brodie closes the door without waiting for a response. He
stands there waiting. After a moment the silhouette of a
figure passes across the curtains. Once Eddie is gone Brodie
crashes back down in to his chair.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You can come out now.
                                                            
The bathroom door opens and Zed leads Jayne out of the
bathroom.
                                                            
                       ZED
What do you think?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
We're good. I gave him fifty to
fuck off for the night.
                                                            

19.

                       ZED
Good.
                                                            
Brodie eases back in to the chair and whips out a cigarette.
He lights it and takes a deep drag off it.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
I'm sorry but can you go outside
with that?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Scuse me?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
I'm really sorry I just have
asthma and a pretty bad allergy to
cigarette smoke. If I'm in a
closed area with smoke, well, it's
not pretty.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Whatever.
                                                            
Brodie pops up out of the seat and leaves the room.
                                                            
 
EXT. THE LANG MOTEL - DAY
                                                            
Brodie steps outside, cigarette in hand. The afternoon light
is bright and harsh.
                                                            
Another patron of the motel, a WOMAN, is unloading her
luggage out of her car. She glances over at him. Eddie is
standing out in front of the office smoking a cigarette as
well. He glances over at Brodie.
                                                            
Although the glance is momentary Brodie stays fixed on
Eddie. The woman crosses the parking lot and in to her room.
Eddie tosses his cigarette and heads back in to the office.
                                                            
Down at the road traffic is zipping by. A couple are walking
down the sidewalk.
                                                            
Brodie cracks the room door open.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Come here a minute.
                                                            
Zed peeks his head out of the room.
                                                            
                       ZED
It's like a fucking sauna out
here.
                                                            

20.

                       BRODIE
We gotta get outta here. There's
way too many people around.
                                                            
                       ZED
Would you just fucking relax? I
have this shit under control. I
have from the beginning. It's just
for the night.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Yeah, that makes it all better for
me. Thanks. If no one's figured it
out yet they will soon.
                                                            
                       ZED
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Have you always been this
paranoid?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Kid at the front may not know
anything but he's thinkin'
something.
                                                            
                       ZED
This is gonna make for a fun
night.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Just wait till I run outta smokes.
Then it's really gonna be fun.
                                                            
                       ZED
Hey, man. I told you. Get extra
cause you never know. It's not my
fault you didn't bother.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
To be honest, I thought we be at
least six hours away from here by
now.
                                                            
 
EXT. INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT STREET - DAY
                                                            
The middle of an industrial district lined with old
factories and warehouses. The entire area is oddly deserted.
A lone car pulls up alongside the curb and parks. Brodie and
Zed are inside. Zed's driving.
                                                            

21.

A lot of the buildings have 'For Sale' signs in the window
or staked in front. For the most part they are in various
stages of disrepair.
                                                            
 
INT. ZED'S CAR - DAY
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Been awhile since I've been out
this way. You know they can't even
convince people to come in and rip
this shit down to start over
again. It's all been abandoned.
                                                            
                       ZED
Not all of it.
                                                            
Zed points toward a warehouse further down the street.
                                                            
                       ZED
That's what we're hitting.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
A warehouse surrounded by nothing?
Sounds promising.
                                                            
                       ZED
It's better than you can image.
It'll be easy too. There's only
ever two guys there. Even then, I
don't think they know what they're
sitting on. I think they're
actually rent-a-cops paid to
protect the building.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
And we're gonna walk in and walk
out past two guys? I thought this
was supposed to be straight up in
and out.
                                                            
Zed takes a look at his watch.
                                                            
                       ZED
No, it's cool. Watch. It's almost
time.
                                                            
They sit in silence for a moment before a car pulls out of
the parking lot beside the warehouse. It turns on to the
street and drives away from them.
                                                            

22.

                       ZED
He leaves every day at the exact
same time. I don't know if he's
going out for lunch or what but
he's gone at least forty minutes
every time.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
On top of everything else you
think we're doing this in the
middle of the fucking day?
                                                            
                       ZED
Damn straight little brother.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Middle of the day, at least one
guy to worry about, and a clock
before another guy shows up?
                                                            
                       ZED
That's the beauty part. These guys
are fucking clueless. Like I said,
they probably don't even realize
what they're sitting on. From what
I hear they just sit in the lunch
room all day playing cards.
Killing time.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
And if we do have to deal with
them?
                                                            
                       ZED
So long as we don't go running
around knocking shit over or
tripping alarms we won't. This is
going to be the easiest job either
of us have ever worked.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You're out of your fucking mind.
                                                            
Zed puts the car in gear and begins pulling away from the
curb.
                                                            
                       ZED
Probably. Let's go see this garage
you've been telling me about.
                                                            
 

23.

INT. GARAGE - DAY
                                                            
It looks like a small mechanics garage that has been
converted in to a workshop. It's relatively tidy and
organized.
                                                            
The door bursts open. Zed leads the way with Brodie in tight
behind him. Zed has a full duffle bag in each hand. Brodie
has a bag in one hand a gun in the other.
                                                            
                       ZED
Jesus that was intense!
                                                            
Zed tosses his bags up on to a counter. He grabs the bag
from Brodie. As he's putting it up on the counter he notices
a bullet hole clean through the bag. He holds the bag up and
turns it around examining it.
                                                            
                       ZED
Would you look at that shit? I bet
you're glad you've got a gun now,
aren't you?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Yeah, for all the fucking good it
did me. I don't think I hit
anything.
                                                            
Brodie starts pacing.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
What the fuck just happened, man?
Where did those fuckin' guys come
from?
                                                            
                       ZED
Fucked if I know. Doesn't matter
now.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Doesn't matter now? There was only
supposed to be one guy in there.
What else did you fuck up, Zed?
                                                            
                       ZED
Hey! It's over. It doesn't matter
anymore. We got what we went in
for and came out alive.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
God damn it Zed!
                                                            

24.

                       ZED
God damn it nothing! We're are
officially fucking millionaires
little brother. Wrap your head
around that.
                                                            
Brodie stops pacing mid-step and a smile crosses his face.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I think I like the sound of that.
                                                            
                       ZED
Yeah, you forgot about that shit,
didn't ya?
                                                            
Zed opens up one of the duffel bags. It's stuffed with
stacks of bills. He pulls one of the stacks out and tosses
it at Brodie.
                                                            
                       ZED
Hold on to that.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
What's this for?
                                                            
                       ZED
Walking around money.
                                                            
Brodie sets the stack down on the counter.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Five grand is not walking around
money.
                                                            
                       ZED
It is when you're a millionaire.
                                                            
Brodie chuckles.
                                                            
                       ZED
Hold on to that. I don't want to
have to open up one of these bags
everytime we stop for food or you
need smokes. It's good to have
just in case. You know?
                                                            
Brodie opens up one of the cabinets and starts stuffing the
bags in.
                                                            
                       ZED
You don't have to do that.
                                                            

25.

                       BRODIE
Yeah, but it'll make me feel
better if it's not right out in
plain view.
                                                            
                       ZED
No worries. It's all gravy from
here. Remember that.
                                                            
Zed checks his watch.
                                                            
                       ZED
Right on time. I need to go take
care of the car and then go meet
Rudy for our new wheels. Once
that's done we're ghosts. You
good?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I'm good.
                                                            
                       ZED
Good.
                                                            
Zed starts out the door. Brodie calls after him.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Be quick about it.
                                                            
                       ZED
I'll be back before you know it.
                                                            
 
INT. ROOM 23 - DAY
                                                            
They are sitting around the room watching TV.
                                                            
                       ZED
What do you think? A couple
pizzas?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You really hungry?
                                                            
                       ZED
You're not? When was the last time
you ate?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I guess I'm still a little edgy.
                                                            

26.

                       ZED
You're gonna be hungry soon
enough. And I bet you she's
fuckin' starving. Aren't ya honey?
                                                            
Jayne nods her head.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You gonna go pick it up?
                                                            
                       ZED
Fuck no. We'll just order it to
the room.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
What are you thinking?
                                                            
                       ZED
Whatever. Pizza's good.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
We just had pizza last night.
                                                            
                       ZED
So?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
So I think I'll pass on pizza.
      (to Jayne)
What about you? You asked for the
menus. What do you want?
                                                            
                       ZED
Who gives a fuck what she wants?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
At least let her suggest
something. Who knows, it might be
better than pizza.
      (to Jayne)
Go ahead.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Chinese?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
That is a brilliant idea.
                                                            
                       ZED
I'm not ordering it.
                                                            

27.

                       BRODIE
That's fine. I took care of it
when the kid was the door though.
You can get this one.
                                                            
                       ZED
Whatever.
                                                            
Zed holds out his hand.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
What?
                                                            
                       ZED
If I'm gettin' it I need money.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I don't have any. I gave my last
fifty to the kid to get rid of
him.
                                                            
                       ZED
What happened to the money I gave
you? The money I told you to hold
on to for situations exactly
fucking like this?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Still at the shop.
                                                            
                       ZED
Fuck sakes.
                                                            
Zed stomps across the room and grabs Jayne's purse. He
starts fishing through it.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Hey.
                                                            
                       ZED
Fucking shut it. Chinese was your
great idea now you get to pay for
it.
                                                            
 
EXT. GARAGE - DAY
                                                            
Brodie and Zed are driving down the seedy little alleyway
leading up to the garage.
                                                            
                       ZED
What's the deal with this place?
                                                            

28.

                       BRODIE
I work here sometimes. It's my
bosses shop. He lets me use it if
I have something I need to work on
that requires a little bit of
room. It's just up here on the
left.
                                                            
                       ZED
By the rust mobile?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
That's the one.
                                                            
Zed pulls up beside the rusted out car and parks. They get
out. Brodie immediately lights a cigarette.
                                                            
                       ZED
What's happenin' with this piece
of shit?
                                                            
Zed kicks the car. Chunks of rust fly off at the impact.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
No idea. It's been around longer
than I have. I think someone gave
it to him. He keeps telling me
he'll fix it up for me as soon as
I learn how to drive.
                                                            
                       ZED
That's a pretty tempting offer.
Doesn't even look like this
thing'll ever run.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Doesn't have to look pretty to get
you where you're going.
                                                            
                       ZED
So, you work here, huh?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Sometimes.
                                                            
                       ZED
I didn't know you knew anything
about cars.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I don't.
                                                            
Brodie unlocks the door to the garage and the two men enter.
                                                            
 

29.

INT. GARAGE - DAY
                                                            
The place is a surreal mess. There are electronics in
various states of repair strewn around the room with random
tools. Stacks of newspapers are all around the room. Some of
the stacks reach almost two feet in height.
                                                            
                       ZED
What the hell?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
The boss is a little bit of a pack
rat. And a disorganized one at
that. He converted the place over
to a workshop a couple years ago.
                                                            
                       ZED
What's with all the newspapers?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
The guy just has a hard time
letting go of things. That TV over
there. He's never gonna fix that
and he knows it. I don't think it
can be fixed. Even if it can it'd
probably just be cheaper to buy
two brand new. Doesn't matter
though. He still keeps it around.
                                                            
                       ZED
Like the car outside?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Like the car outside. Just how the
dude is. So what do you think?
                                                            
                       ZED
What's the boss gonna think if he
finds us in here?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Nothing. He just left for vacation
yesterday. He's out of the country
for the next two weeks.
                                                            
                       ZED
I think we got it. This is
perfect.
                                                            
 

30.

INT. ROOM 23 - DAY
                                                            
Jayne and Brodie are in the bathroom. The door is closed.
Brodie stands with his back against the closed door. Jayne
is sitting on the toilet, her wrists still bound. On the
other side of the door a muffled conversation can be heard
between Zed and the DELIVERY DRIVER.
                                                            
Jayne chuckles.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
What is it?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
I'm just thinking about things I
shouldn't be thinking.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
What's that?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
I was thinking, I mean, I wouldn't
do it, so just remember that. I
was actually thinking what would
happen, you know, if I made a
noise. Called for help.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
That's an easy one. I don't think
you want the answer though.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Why?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You and I would stay right where
we are for a couple minutes until
Zed got back. It might take him a
little bit to get back. The first
thing he'd do is shoot the nice
delivery man in the face. Then
he'd check to see if there was a
remote chance that anyone saw him
do it. He'd take each and everyone
of them and put a bullet their
heads as well. Then once he was
done all of his clean up he'd come
back here and do the exact same to
you as payback for all the
trouble.
                                                            
Jayne turns away. Her expression falls and she stares
absently at the floor.
                                                            

31.

                       JAYNE
Really?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I've known that man out there a
long time. There aren't a whole
lot of things that will make him
crazy. The idea of going to prison
is a big one. If I were you I
wouldn't test him.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
He just... Neither of you seem
like you'd
                                                            
He cuts her off.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Like what? You're still tied up
and we still have guns. We're
still here. We're bad men.
                                                            
The front door can be heard closing in the other room. Zed
calls through.
                                                            
                       ZED (O.S.)
Food's here.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Don't kid yourself. We're bad men
and bad men have a price for
everything. I've seen that man
doing crazy shit for fifty bucks.
Where do you think that leaves
you?
                                                            
                       ZED (O.S)
Come on out. Dinner time.
                                                            
Brodie opens the door and steps out. Jayne doesn't follow
him. Zed is busy pulling take containers out of the bags.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I'm fucking starved.
                                                            
                       ZED
Where's the broad?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I think she needs a minute.
                                                            
                       ZED
What's the problem?
                                                            

32.

                       BRODIE
She was asking the wrong
questions. I don't think she liked
the answers she got.
                                                            
 
INT. ROOM 23 - NIGHT
                                                            
They are sitting around watching the news. They are picking
at what's left of the Chinese food. Jayne is sitting by
herself at the head of the bed. Her wrists have been freed.
                                                            
Zed glances back at her. Their eyes meet for a moment. Jayne
breaks the look and stares down in to her food.
                                                            
                       ZED
Good call on the Chinese.
                                                            
Jayne doesn't acknowledge him. Brodie glances over briefly.
Zed staring at Jayne and Jayne avoiding looking at him.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
So did you guys knock over a 7-11
or something?
                                                            
Zed and Brodie answer almost simultaneously.
                                                            
                       ZED
Not quite.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
None of your business.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
We've been watching the news for
over a half an hour and there's
been nothing. You guys have to
have pulled off something big but
I can't figure out what it is.
                                                            
Brodie stares at her hard.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
I'm sorry. Just curious.
                                                            
                       ZED
We didn't take anything from
anyone who would call the cops if
that's what you're asking.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Shut up.
                                                            

33.

                       JAYNE
So instead of doing something that
could land you in jail you did
something that could end with your
body being dumped in the middle of
nowhere.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You too. Shut up.
                                                            
                       ZED
You know. I'm surprised I missed
it before. You're really starting
to remind me of someone I used to
date?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Really?
                                                            
                       ZED
Yeah. She was a bitch with a
shitty attitude too. She was ugly
though. Come to think of it I
really only kept around cause she
fucked like a race horse and I
didn't have to look at her in the
dark.
                                                            
Brodie shakes his head in disgust and sets his food aside.
He heads toward the door.
                                                            
                       ZED
Where are you going?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Outside for a smoke. Where it's
quiet.
                                                            
 
EXT. THE LANG MOTEL - NIGHT
                                                            
Brodie steps outside and closes the door behind himself.
It's quickly turning in to night. He opens his pack. There's
a single cigarette left inside.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Fuck.
                                                            
He lights the last cigarette. He crushes the empty pack and
tosses it aside.
                                                            
 

34.

INT. ZED'S CAR - DAY
                                                            
Zed and Brodie are driving down they road. They drive in
silence as Brodie stares absently out the window. This only
lasts a moment.
                                                            
                       ZED
You doin' alright?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Yeah.
                                                            
                       ZED
You sure? You've been really
quiet. I know I've dropped a lot
of shit on you out of the blue.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
No, it's cool. I'm just thinking.
                                                            
                       ZED
What about?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
This job. Probably just nerves.
                                                            
                       ZED
I'm right there with you. The only
time I miss smoking is when I get
nervous.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I quit for awhile too. Smoking.
                                                            
                       ZED
No shit?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Yeah. I was all out. Tossed the
ashtrays and everything. I had
quit for 18 months. I was even
jogging three times a week.
                                                            
                       ZED
Get the fuck outta here. That's a
long time. What happened?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I started noticing other people
smoking.
                                                            

35.

                       ZED
I hated that right when I quit
smoking too. Smelling other
peoples smoke just made me crave
it.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
That's not it. I just couldn't
stand it anymore. It became the
most vile fucking smell and it was
everywhere. I started turning in
to one of those assholes who goes
out of their way to make sure
everyone knows they're holding
their breath when passing smokers.
It was changing my life.
                                                            
                       ZED
So you started again?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I hated the smell and the militant
anti-smoking asshole I was turning
in to. Starting again fixed both.
                                                            
                       ZED
And shortened your life
expectancy.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I'm only losing the crappy years
at the end. I've made my peace
with it. Why'd you quit?
                                                            
They turn off the street in to a mall parking lot.
                                                            
                       ZED
Quit for a girl.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You couldn't even pick a good
reason.
                                                            
                       ZED
Good reason or not I'm happy I did
it. It was worth it. It wasn't
really for her.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Yeah, back pedal.
                                                            

36.

                       ZED
No, I was ready. She just gave me
the push I needed.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You miss it?
                                                            
                       ZED
Only right after sex.
                                                            
Zed pulls in to a parking spot and parks. He pulls a list
out of his pocket. He hands it to Brodie.
                                                            
                       ZED
I need you to grab the stuff on
this list. I've got some other
things I need to pick up.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
There's a lot of shit on here.
This isn't going to be cheap.
                                                            
                       ZED
Don't worry about. Take care of it
for now and I'll cover it.
                                                            
 
INT. ROOM 23 - NIGHT
                                                            
Brodie is pacing the room. Jayne, hands still free, is
watching him anxiously. Zed is doing his best to ignore him
and watch TV. It doesn't work.
                                                            
                       ZED
Sweet fucking Christ would you
knock it off?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
And do what?
                                                            
                       ZED
I really don't give a shit so long
as I can watch TV in peace.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
What's wrong?
                                                            
                       ZED
I think he ran out of cigarettes.
Didn't ya, stupid?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
This is just gonna get worse.
                                                            

37.

                       ZED
And it's your own fault. Jesus,
you quit for a year and a half.
You'll excuse me if I don't over
flow with sympathy.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
It's your fault. Your the one who
got me smoking to begin with. I
started because you started.
                                                            
                       ZED
Fuck you. We were kids and I told
you not to start.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Yeah, well. Shit you told me
fifteen years ago isn't helping me
right now.
                                                            
                       ZED
Yeah? How about shit I told you
earlier today when I suggested you
take some money with you? How
about yesterday when I suggested
you pick up an extra pack, just in
case? Either would have helped.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Fuck this.
                                                            
Brodie starts out of the room.
                                                            
                       ZED
Where are you going?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Back to the shop.
                                                            
                       ZED
The fucking hell you are. No one
is going back to the shop until
morning. I don't give a shit how
badly you need a cigarette.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I'm sure as hell not doing this
shit all night. One way or another
I'm getting a cigarette.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
I should still have some money
left over. Take it.
                                                            

38.

                       BRODIE
What?
                                                            
Jayne pulls her wallet out of her purse and fishes out a
twenty. She holds it out for him to take.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You're gonna be here all night,
right? If you're gonna be walking
around with a gun all night I'd
prefer you weren't anxious or
grumpy.
                                                            
                       ZED
I think she's sweet on you little
brother.
                                                            
Brodie snatches up the money.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Thank you.
                                                            
He's almost out the door when Zed stops him.
                                                            
                       ZED
Keys.
                                                            
Brodie tosses him his keys and then is out the door. He
passes his gun on the way out.
                                                            
 
EXT. THE LANG MOTEL - NIGHT
                                                            
Brodie exits the room and head out across the parking lot.
He shoves the bill in to his pocket while he walks. He
reaches the sidewalk and stops. There is some scattered
traffic zipping by. He closes his eyes and inhales deeply.
                                                            
He opens his eyes and starts down the sidewalk. Down the
street a black cargo van with its lights off rounds the
corner. It rolls slowly down the street.
                                                            
Brodie stops where he is. The van stops as well. There is a
long moment as Brodie stares at the van before he turns on
his heel and runs back in to the motel parking lot. The
lights on the van flick on and the vehicle roars in to
motion.
                                                            
The van skids in to the parking lot. The driver hammers the
gas and slams in to Brodie. Brodie is knocked across the
parking lot. He rolls to a bloody, barely conscious stop.
                                                            

39.

Three very LARGE MEN get out of the van. One of them begins
toward Brodie, a gun in hand.
                                                            
                       LARGE MAN
I've got this one.
                                                            
The other two men, each with shotguns head toward room 23.
The third reaches Brodie. His gun aimed at Brodie's head.
                                                            
                       LARGE MAN
You assholes didn't think you were
actually gonna get away with this
did you?
                                                            
Brodie looks over to the room. The two men kick in the door.
The storm the room with their shotguns blazing.
                                                            
                       LARGE MAN
Night night, fuck-o.
                                                            
The Large Man pulls the trigger and the world disappears in
a muzzle flash.
                                                            
Brodie opens his eyes. He's standing on the sidewalk. The
world is back to normal. He reaches at the small of his
back. His gun is gone. He heads back across the parking lot
toward the room.
                                                            
 
INT. ROOM 23 - NIGHT
                                                            
Brodie opens the door to the room and reaches in. He grabs
his gun and starts jamming it in to his waistband.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I forgot my
                                                            
He trails off looking around the room. Jayne is still on the
bed unrestrained and unsupervised. Zed is no where to be
found and the bathroom door is closed.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
gun.
                                                            
The toilet flushes and Zed emerges from the bathroom.
                                                            
                       ZED
Hey, little brother. That was
quick.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
What the fuck are you doing?
                                                            

40.

Zed tries to brush it off casually and sits back down in
front of the TV.
                                                            
                       ZED
I was taking a piss. You mind?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Don't you fucking get it? Anything
goes down and this whole thing
ends very bad for both of us.
                                                            
Zed pops up out of the chair and heads toward Brodie.
                                                            
                       ZED
Out. Now. Outside.
                                                            
They stop at the door. Zed inside and Brodie out. They drop
down to just above a whisper.
                                                            
                       ZED
Fuckin' pull it back a little,
would you?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
If we're caught, for any reason,
we are fucking dead. Get that
through your head.
                                                            
                       ZED
Relax. As long as we're careful
that isn't going to happen.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Careful? Like taking a hostage?
Like leaving that hostage
unrestrained and unsupervised five
feet away from my fucking gun?
That kinda careful?
                                                            
                       ZED
Fuck that. It's cool alright. This
chick wouldn't say shit if her
mouth was full of it.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
We go to jail, Zed, and we are
never coming out alive. Do you
understand that?
                                                            
                       ZED
I already told you
                                                            
Brodie cuts him off.
                                                            

41.

                       BRODIE
I don't give a shit.
                                                            
                       ZED
Everything's fine. Go get your
fucking cigarettes. You need 'em.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Fuck that.
                                                            
Brodie tosses the twenty at Zed and pushes past him back in
to the room.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You go get 'em. I'm not leaving
this fucking room again.
                                                            
                       ZED
If it'll make you feel better
princess.
                                                            
Zed leaves the room and slams the door behind himself.
                                                            
 
INT. RESTAURANT - DAY
                                                            
Brodie and Zed are sitting at a booth in a restaurant.
They've both got drinks in front of them. Still waiting for
the food. The restaurant is dead.
                                                            
                       ZED
I can't believe this place. I
can't believe you eat here.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I know. It's crazy.
                                                            
                       ZED
I was convinced this place was a
mafia front.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You and me both. People go in-
                                                            
                       BRODIE & ZED
but no one ever comes out.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
That's the whole reason I came in.
Had to check the place out for
myself.
                                                            

42.

                       ZED
And it's not a mafia front?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Not a mafia front. They have a
pretty good menu but it's always
like this.
                                                            
                       ZED
Empty?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I would have said slow, but yeah.
Must make it tough staying in
business like this.
                                                            
Brodie pulls a receipt out of his pocket and hands it across
the table to Zed.
                                                            
                       ZED
What's this?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Just the stuff you asked me to
pick up.
                                                            
                       ZED
Jesus, you spent almost two
hundred more than I was expecting.
What the fuck did you buy?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You told me to get what was
needed. I got what you asked for.
                                                            
                       ZED
No, I did. I mean. I just wasn't
expecting. Why'd you get so many
bags. We're only gonna need like
three, four at most.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I was just trying to think ahead.
You said it wasn't a problem.
                                                            
                       ZED
You're right. I'm sorry. It's old
habits.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Don't worry about it.
                                                            
Zed pulls out his wallet and starts counting out bills.
                                                            

43.

                       ZED
Once everything's said and done a
couple hundred bucks isn't gonna
make any difference at all.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You know what? Don't worry about
it. You're right. I got enough to
get me through a couple days.
                                                            
                       ZED
You sure?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
As long as you got dinner.
                                                            
                       ZED
Done.
                                                            
Zed stuffs the money back in to his wallet and goes back to
reading the receipt.
                                                            
                       ZED
Looks like you got everything
though. Aw fuck.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
What'd I miss?
                                                            
                       ZED
It wasn't your fault. I forgot to
put zip ties on the list.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
What the fuck are we gonna need
zip ties for?
                                                            
                       ZED
More like what aren't we gonna
need them for? There's always a
use for zip ties. One more thing.
                                                            
Zed pulls a cell phone out of his pocket and slides it
across the table to Brodie.
                                                            
                       ZED
Picked this up for you.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I hate these fuckin' things.
They're so flimsy.
                                                            

44.

                       ZED
Learn to love it.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I don't really need this.
                                                            
                       ZED
Don't worry about it. It's just
another base covered. Wanted to
make sure we weren't missing
anything. Chances are you probably
won't even use it.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Every time I use one of these I
feel like I'm gonna break it.
                                                            
                       ZED
If it happens it happens. It's a
cheap shit phone anyway. Once
we're done you can toss it if you
want to.
                                                            
 
INT. ROOM 23 - NIGHT
                                                            
The door to the room is opened with Brodie standing in the
middle of it, one foot in the room and one foot out. He's
staring out across the motel parking lot. Jayne is sitting
on the bed staring absently at the TV.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Is the store that far for here?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
He's coming back.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
I know. I wasn't saying anything.
He's just been gone awhile. That's
all.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
He's coming back.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
I feel like I'm gonna crawl out of
my skin. I never spend this much
time stuck in one place.
                                                            

45.

                       BRODIE
I try to move around as little as
possible. Hell, I don't even go
outside if I don't have to.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
What do you do?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I don't think that's any of your
business.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Sorry. I'm not used to being stuck
in one spot for so long. I'm
bored.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
It's okay. What about you? What do
you do?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Waitress. It's glamorous. I know.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
People shit on jobs all the time
because they think it's beneath
them. There's nothing wrong with
waiting on tables.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Thanks.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
No problem.
                                                            
There's a long silence.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
He'll be back soon.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I know.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
I don't want to bug you. It's
getting really hot in here with
the door open.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Yeah. Alright.
                                                            

46.

Brodie closes the door. He grabs a zip tie and walks over to
Jayne. He grabs her wrist.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
What are you doing?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Making sure you stay put.
                                                            
Brodie zip ties her wrist to the headboard of the bed.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Get comfy.
                                                            
Brodie pulls the curtains aside an inch and heads outside.
                                                            
 
EXT. THE LANG MOTEL - NIGHT
                                                            
Brodie can see Jayne through the opening in the curtains.
Jayne turns away from him and attempts to get comfortable
laying on her side with her arm above her head.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
This is fucking ridiculous.
                                                            
Brodie whips out his cell phone and dials a number. A phone
RINGS loudly behind him. He jumps at the sound. He turns to
find Zed walking up from behind him, a bag in hand.
                                                            
                       ZED
Jesus Christ you're high strung.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Did you take long enough?
                                                            
                       ZED
I can go back and take longer if
you'd like.
                                                            
Zed hands over a pack of cigarettes. Brodie tears in to the
pack as quickly as he can.
                                                            
                       ZED
Twenty bucks isn't a whole lot but
I managed to stretch it out.
Grabbed some extras.
                                                            
Zed pulls a bottle of whiskey out of the bag. He's already
been in to it a bit.
                                                            
                       ZED
This is what took me so long.
                                                            

47.

                       BRODIE
You marvellous bastard.
                                                            
He cracks the bottle open and takes a drink. He hands it
over to Brodie.
                                                            
                       ZED
Have some. It'll calm you down.
                                                            
Brodie grabs the bottle and drinks deep.
                                                            
                       ZED
I also got some entertainment.
                                                            
Zed pulls a pack of playing cards with naked women on them
out of the bag.
                                                            
                       ZED
Didn't think to grab the other
deck from your place before we
left. Where's the girl?
                                                            
Brodie backs up and nods at the window. Zed steps up and
takes a peek through to Jayne. She's rolled over on to her
side facing the window. Her eyes are closed. Zed laughs.
                                                            
                       ZED
Nice.
                                                            
 
INT. BRODIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
                                                            
Brodie and Zed are sitting at the dining room table. A
couple of beers and a decks of cards. They play while
chatting.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I hate waiting. I always hated
this part.
                                                            
                       ZED
Not me. On one hand it gives me
time to get things together. Sort
shit out. On the other hand it's
like waiting for Christmas.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
The more time I have before a job
the more time I have to think.
                                                            
                       ZED
See, I like that. Gives me a
chance to make sure I'm on top of
            (MORE)

48.

                       ZED (cont'd)
everything. I like knowing I'm
going in covered.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
The last minute, spur of the
moment jobs were always my
favourite.
                                                            
                       ZED
I hated doing those. They always
scared the shit outta me.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Me too, but I was only ever scared
during the job. A couple hours and
I could forget about it. Fuck,
that armoured car job we were
planning.
                                                            
                       ZED
What about it?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
That shit dragged on for three
months. By the end I was so
fuckin' worried about it that I
nearly shit myself with relief
when we called it off.
                                                            
                       ZED
I still say we could have pulled
that one off.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
We didn't have enough funding for
it. We wouldn't have had
everything we needed.
                                                            
                       ZED
Maybe. We still coulda done it.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Maybe. I'm glad it fell through
though. So what's the deal with
the girl?
                                                            
                       ZED
Which one?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
The one you quit smoking for.
                                                            

49.

                       ZED
She's still around. Going on five
years now.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Good lord. You're not actually
settling down, are you?
                                                            
                       ZED
She helped me quit smoking. That's
gotta be worth something.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Let her do what she wants and one
day you'll wake up a completely
different person.
                                                            
                       ZED
There's nothing wrong with losing
your vices.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Wash away all those dirty sins?
                                                            
                       ZED
Don't need 'em anymore.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Sounds like a decent chick. Any
chance I'm gonna get to meet her?
                                                            
                       ZED
I'm planning to meet her once
we've got the job clear. I'm sure
we'll run in to her.
                                                            
 
INT. ROOM 23 - NIGHT
                                                            
Brodie and Zed are playing cards in the motel room. Jayne is
passed out on the bed. Her wrist is still attached to the
headboard. The TV is playing silently in the background. The
bottle of whiskey is sitting between them. They periodically
drink from the bottle as they play.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Thanks for going for smokes. I
meant to thank you earlier.
                                                            
                       ZED
Don't worry about it.
                                                            

50.

                       BRODIE
I was freaking out a little bit.
It's probably better that you
went.
                                                            
                       ZED
I was happy to get out for a bit
anyway. I get where you were. It's
okay.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Part of it's that we're no where
near where I thought we'd be.
                                                            
                       ZED
You're right. We should be long
gone by now. We had a hiccup. We
roll with it.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I know.
                                                            
Brodie glances over at Jayne.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You think she's out?
                                                            
Zed snaps his fingers. She doesn't move or make a sound.
                                                            
                       ZED
Yeah, I think so.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Let's fuckin' bail. Right now.
                                                            
                       ZED
Shut up and play.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Seriously. While she's sleeping.
Let's just go.
                                                            
                       ZED
And what? Go hide out at your
apartment? Or maybe the shop?
We're safer here.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Let's take her car. We can start
driving right now.
                                                            
                       ZED
That's a brilliant fuckin' idea.
                                                            

51.

                       BRODIE
I'm serious. We leave now we could
be in Windsor before she even
wakes up. I know a guy. He could
get rid of her car and hook us up
with something new.
                                                            
                       ZED
You gonna drive?
                                                            
Silence.
                                                            
                       ZED
That's what I thought. I need
sleep before we go anywhere.
You're not the only one who had a
stressful day.
                                                            
Brodie pushes back from the game.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I'm gonna go have a smoke. When I
get back I'm gonna lay down for a
couple of hours.
                                                            
                       ZED
Actually. If you don't mind I'd
like to get some sleep first. The
more sleep I get the better
tomorrow's gonna go down.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
We're here all night, aren't we?
What difference does it make who
sleeps first?
                                                            
                       ZED
Exactly.
                                                            
Zed pulls a pillow off the bed and stretches out on the
floor.
                                                            
                       ZED
Wake me up at three. Three thirty
if you want to be nice.
                                                            
 
INT. ROOM 23 - NIGHT
                                                            
Brodie is standing in the washroom in front of the sink. The
door stands wide open behind him. Zed can be heard snoring.
Brodie is washing his hands. He looks worn out. He splashes
some water on his face and leaves the bathroom.
                                                            

52.

The TV is silently flickering in the background still. He
steps lightly and quietly through the room and sits down at
a game of solitaire already in progress. He flips through
some cards before glancing over to Jayne on the bed. She's
awake.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Hey.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
How long have you been awake for?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Ten minutes or so. I'm not sure.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You should sleep. It'll make the
night go faster.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
I can't.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I know what you mean. I'd have a
hard time sleeping with that noise
as well.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
I'm used to that. My boyfriend
snores just as badly.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Then what's the problem?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
My chest is tight.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Right. Asthma. You got an inhaler
or something?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Out in the car. They're in one of
my bags. I didn't really get a
chance to bring in my luggage
before he showed up.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Yeah. He's got quite the timing.
Keys in your purse?
                                                            

53.

                       JAYNE
Yeah. It's a Civic. They're in the
black bag in the trunk. Front
pocket.
                                                            
Brodie grabs the keys out of her purse and heads out of the
room.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I'll be right back.
                                                            
 
EXT. THE LANG MOTEL - NIGHT
                                                            
Brodie exits the room and crosses the parking lot to the
only Civic parked there. He opens the trunk and looks
inside. Two black pieces of luggage on in the trunk.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Typical.
                                                            
He unzips the front pouch of one of the bags. It's full of
mens toiletries. He closes the bag up and moves on to the
other. There are two inhalers right on top. He snatches them
up, closes the trunk and heads back to the room.
                                                            
 
INT. ROOM 23 - NIGHT
                                                            
Brodie re-enters to room and hands the inhalers to Jayne.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I didn't know which one to grab so
I brought them both.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
That's okay. I should take both of
them anyway.
                                                            
Brodie goes back to his game. Jayne takes her inhalers.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Are you winning?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I haven't quite figured that out
yet.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Mind if I join you?
                                                            
Brodie eyes her for a moment.
                                                            

54.

                       JAYNE
I'm not getting back to sleep
anyway.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Fuck it. Why not?
                                                            
Brodie crosses the room again and cuts her wrist free from
the headboard. She rubs her wrists as he heads back to the
cards.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Thanks.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
No problem.
                                                            
Brodie begins gathering up the cards and Jayne sits across
from him.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
So, what are we playing?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Depends. What do you know how to
play?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Crazy eights. Go fish.
                                                            
Brodie chuckles.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
What? I stopped playing cards when
I was nine.
                                                            
Brodie starts dealing out cards.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Crazy eights it is.
                                                            
 
INT. ROOM 23 - NIGHT
                                                            
Brodie and Jayne are sitting back chatting. The cards have
since been abandoned. Zed is still snoring in the
background, albeit it a little more lightly.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
So what's the deal with you two?
If you don't mind me asking.
                                                            

55.

                       BRODIE
Me and Zed? We grew up together.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
So you guys aren't brothers then?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Me and Zed? Fuck no.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
So what's with the little brother
thing?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
There's a couple years difference
between us. When we were kids he
took care of me a lot. Mostly
making sure I didn't get my ass
kicked.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
That's sweet.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Mostly I think he does it just to
remind me of all the shit he
thinks I owe him for growing up.
                                                            
Brodie gets up and starts pacing.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
It doesn't really bother me
though. So what's with the
boyfriend?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
What boyfriend?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I opened the wrong suitcase by
accident when I went to get your
inhalers. I take it that's who's
meeting you tomorrow.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Yeah.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
So why are you stuck in this
little crap shack with us? Why
isn't he here?
                                                            

56.

                       JAYNE
Just timing. He has some work to
take care of. We're just meeting
up here.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
What's he do?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Avoids marrying me mostly. Are you
alright?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I'm dying for a smoke. I've had
enough of that whiskey that I want
one every five minutes.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
So? Go have one.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
No offense. This is nice and all
but I'm not really comfortable
just leaving you alone while I go
outside. And I'm willing to bet
you're not a big fan of being
strapped back to the bed again.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Not really.
      (beat)
You could smoke out the bathroom
window.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Are you sure?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Yeah, it's fine.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I don't want to have to go through
any bullshit because of your
asthma.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Don't worry about it. It's what my
boyfriend used to do when he
smoked. I'll be fine.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Cool.
                                                            

57.

Brodie grabs his cigarettes and heads for the bathroom.
                                                            
 
INT. GARAGE - NIGHT
                                                            
Zed has got a duffel bag full of their supplies in hand.
Stuff they haven't packed up for the job is sitting out on
the counter.
                                                            
                       ZED
We're leaving directly from your
place tomorrow.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Okay.
                                                            
                       ZED
If there's anything you need,
anything you want to make sure
you've got then get it together.
Once we leave we're not going back
there again.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I'm fine. Aside from my clothes I
don't have anything else I'll
miss.
                                                            
                       ZED
Good.
                                                            
Zed exits the building and Brodie follows him out.
                                                            
 
EXT. GARAGE - NIGHT
                                                            
Zed opens the door to the car and tosses the bag in the
back.
                                                            
                       ZED
You want me to drop you off at
home?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Where you going?
                                                            
                       ZED
I need to take care of some last
minute stuff. Just thought you
might want a lift home on my way.
                                                            

58.

                       BRODIE
What's left to do? I thought
everything was taken care of?
                                                            
                       ZED
It is. I just need to get
everything together for the car
situation.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I wasn't aware there was a car
situation.
                                                            
                       ZED
There isn't. We just need to
switch out. That's all. I have a
guy lined up who'll have a car
ready for me. I need to go meet
him now. You want a ride or not?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I was under the impression we were
getting the fuck out of this city
as soon as humanly possible. When
are switching cars?
                                                            
                       ZED
As soon as we're done we come back
here. We drop everything off, I go
get the new car, we load up, and
we get the fuck outta Dodge.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Why not just drive right to the
other car? Switch there?
                                                            
                       ZED
First, I'm dealing with a guy who
works for a guy. I don't trust the
fucker as far as I can throw him.
Second, I'm ditching the car and
then going to pick up the other
one. I'm not really fond of the
idea of carrying this shit over
our shoulders for a couple blocks.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
That doesn't even make sense.
                                                            
Zed gets in the car and starts up the engine.
                                                            

59.

                       ZED
That's the way it's going down. Do
you want a fuckin' ride or not? I
have shit to take care of.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I'll walk. If we're coming back
here I have shit I need to take
care of.
                                                            
                       ZED
Suit yourself.
                                                            
Zed closes his door and pulls away. Brodie watches the car
until the tail lights disappear around the corner. Once Zed
is gone he heads back in to the shop.
                                                            
 
INT. ROOM 23 - NIGHT
                                                            
Brodie is lounged back in a chair. Jayne is laying back on
the bed. She's having a hard time keeping her eyes open. Zed
has stopped snoring but is still out on the floor.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I know it doesn't mean much but
I'm sorry.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
For what?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
For all of this. We weren't
planning on this. Didn't even know
it was a possibility. If it wasn't
for a last minute details going
south it wouldn't have happened at
all.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
It's okay.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
No. It's shitty timing and shitty
luck. If it has been up to me we
would have left as soon as I got
here.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
I know. And it's okay. I was
scared, but I'm okay now. By
tomorrow afternoon this'll just be
a memory.
                                                            

60.

                       BRODIE
Damn straight.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
This all could have been a lot
worse. Thank you.
                                                            
                       ZED
Should I leave? Give you two a
little a privacy?
                                                            
Zed sits up.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Oh thank fucking christ.
                                                            
Brodie bolts for the bathroom and shuts the door.
                                                            
                       ZED
I guess he had to go.
                                                            
Zed gets up and stretches. He heads over for the bottle.
There's only enough left for two drinks at most.
                                                            
Inside the washroom Brodie flushes the toilet and zips up.
He grabs his gun off the counter and secures it in his
waistband. He washes his hand and opens the door. He
immediately has a glass of whiskey in front of his face.
                                                            
                       ZED
Night cap?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Uh, thanks.
                                                            
Brodie takes the glass.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
What's with the cup?
                                                            
Zed shakes the bottle.
                                                            
                       ZED
Keep you outta mine. Now drink up,
son, and get to bed. Got a big day
tomorrow.
                                                            
Brodie starts heading toward the door.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Yeah. I'm just gonna have a smoke
first.
                                                            

61.

                       JAYNE
The bathroom is still okay.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
It'll be good for me to get out
for a minute or two.
                                                            
Zed sits down and starts gathering up cards as Brodie is
leaving the room.
                                                            
                       ZED
Make it quick. You don't get to
sleep soon and I'm laying back
down.
                                                            
 
INT. BRODIE'S APARTMENT - DAY
                                                            
Brodie is sitting at the dining room table again. The
morning sun and a breeze are coming in through the opened
window. He stares out absently. The world is silent except
for the curtains in the breeze.
                                                            
                       ZED
You been up long?
                                                            
Brodie turns to see Zed. Zed crosses the room and sits down
across the table from Brodie.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Most of the morning. You?
                                                            
                       ZED
I've been up for a bit.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
No shit. Already dressed to go.
                                                            
                       ZED
You doin' alright?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Don't worry about me. I'll be
fine.
                                                            
                       ZED
I know you will. When'd you get in
last night?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Around two.
                                                            

62.

                       ZED
Jesus. Did you sleep at all?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I got a couple hours.
                                                            
                       ZED
I waited a bit for you to get
back. Honestly, I kinda expected
you to already be here.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I had a lot of things I wanted to
get in order. The shop really
needed a good cleaning so nothing
is in our way.
                                                            
                       ZED
You didn't need to do that.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
If we're stopping there I need to
make sure everything's in order.
                                                            
Zed pulls out a gun and slides it across the table. Brodie
actually moves his hands out of the way. He does not touch
it.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
What's this?
                                                            
                       ZED
It's for you. I wanted to give it
to you last night but I wanted to
get as much sleep as I could a
little bit more.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
This wasn't part of the plan.
Never has been.
                                                            
                       ZED
Call it a reassurance.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
How did this go from a smash and
grab to needing a fuckin' gun? I
don't need this.
                                                            
Brodie slides the gun back across the table.
                                                            

63.

                       ZED
You're right. We're not going to
need them. It'd just make me feel
a whole lot better knowing you had
it with you. It's just in case.
                                                            
Zed slides the gun back again. Brodie grabs the gun and gets
up from the table. He paces with the gun in his hand.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I don't even know how to use one
of these.
                                                            
                       ZED
It's easy. Safety's already off.
Just point and squeeze. That's it.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Thought you were out arranging
another car?
                                                            
                       ZED
I was doing that too. I have to be
certain this is all gonna go down
in my favour. It's just a safety
net. That's all it is.
                                                            
Brodie tosses the gun down on the table.
                                                            
                       ZED
I would really appreciate it if
when the safety is off that you
didn't chuck the full loaded gun
around like a fucking superball.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I don't like this.
                                                            
                       ZED
You don't have to. You just have
to be down with it. This is going
to be a fucking cakewalk but if
anything goes wrong I need to know
that we're prepared. I need to
know that you're ready.
                                                            
Brodie stares at the gun.
                                                            
                       ZED
In or out? Last chance.
                                                            
No response. Zed pulls the gun off the table.
                                                            

64.

                       ZED
It's alright.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I didn't say no.
                                                            
                       ZED
You didn't need to, little
brother. It's okay. It fucks up
the schedule but I have someone
else I can pull in.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I didn't say no.
                                                            
                       ZED
Then I need to know you've got my
back no matter what.
                                                            
Zed holds out the gun for Brodie. Brodie steps up and takes
it.
                                                            
                       ZED
Let's fuckin' do this.
                                                            
 
INT. ROOM 23 - NIGHT
                                                            
Zed is watching the flickering TV while flipping absently
through the cards. Brodie comes back in to room. He sets
down his empty glass and heads for the pillow on the floor
where Zed was curled up.
                                                            
                       ZED
You look like shit.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I feel like shit.
                                                            
                       ZED
Get some sleep. We're outta here
in the morning.
                                                            
Brodie grabs the pillow and tosses it in to a chair. He
collapses back in to the chair. He squints at the light
directly in his eyes.
                                                            
                       ZED
Let me get that.
                                                            
Zed quickly turns off the light and goes back to flipping
cards. Brodie closes his eyes and falls sleep to the sound
of playing cards.
                                                            
 

65.

INT. ROOM 23 - NIGHT
                                                            
Brodie opens his eyes. The room is still dark save the
silent TV flickering. He lays there for a moment staring at
the ceiling as it changes colour with the television.
                                                            
Outside a car engine can be heard starting.
                                                            
Brodie looks around the room. He is alone. He jumps out of
the chair and over to the window. As he pulls the shade
aside Jayne's car is pulling out of it's spot.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Fucker.
                                                            
Brodie calmly grabs his cigarettes and lights one. He opens
the door and steps out of the room.
                                                            
 
EXT. THE LANG MOTEL - NIGHT
                                                            
As Brodie steps out of the room Jayne's car is just exiting
the parking lot. It disappears out of view as it turns down
the street.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Son of a bitch.
                                                            
Brodie leaves the motel room door wide open. He walks across
the parking lot away from the building.
                                                            
 
INT. GARAGE - NIGHT
                                                            
Zed is inside the shop. He's got three duffel bags at his
feet. He's standing at one of the counters writing on a
piece of paper. His back is to the door as Brodie walks in.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Hey. I think you forgot something.
                                                            
                       ZED
You're not sleeping.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
No. Sorry to disappoint.
                                                            
                       ZED
Wasn't in the mood for your night
cap, huh?
                                                            

66.

                       BRODIE
Seemed a little odd, the glass and
all.
                                                            
                       ZED
It was a last minute call. I had
to improvise. I was just writing
you a note here. Wanted to tell
you it wasn't personal. Let you
know I liked what you've done with
the shop.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
This doesn't strike you an
unnecessarily elaborate way to
fuck over an old friend?
                                                            
                       ZED
I thought so too but everything's
been working so far.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Sorry to ruin your plans. Couldn't
you have just done it the old
fashion way? Put a gun in my face,
'Thanks for everything but fuck
you.'
                                                            
                       ZED
To be fair I did consider it. Was
even the plan originally. Honestly
didn't think I could pull the
trigger if I had to.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Lucky for me I don't have the same
problem.
                                                            
Brodie pulls out his gun and levels it Zed.
                                                            
                       ZED
You gonna shoot me, Brodie?
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Only if you make me.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
So what's the plan then? You gonna
walk outta here with those bags
and then what? Steal a bike and
pedal your ass out of the city?
Take a bus?
                                                            

67.

                       BRODIE
Haven't thought that far ahead
yet. At this point it doesn't
really matter so long as you don't
walk outta here with my money.
                                                            
                       ZED
That's a good plan. Thorough. I
like it.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Where's the girl?
                                                            
                       ZED
She's around.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Asthma's a good reason to quit
smoking.
                                                            
                       ZED
She can be pretty persuasive and
inventive with her methods.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
I bet. I need you to put your gun
on the counter Zed.
                                                            
                       ZED
Afraid I can't do that.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
It's not really up to you at this
point.
                                                            
                       ZED
I think you got that backwards.
That's not something I can do
right now.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You really want to push me right
now? I gotta leave the city
anyway. Wouldn't be much to leave
you here. It'd be a couple of
weeks before anyone even found
you.
                                                            
                       ZED
Not trying to push you. Just can't
give you what I don't have. Come
to think it, I'm pretty sure I
left it in her purse.
                                                            

68.

Jayne enters behind Brodie with Zed's gun in hand.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Hey, baby. We got a problem?
                                                            
                       ZED
I don't think so.
                                                            
Brodie glances back at Jayne. His gun still trained on Zed.
While looking at her he pulls the trigger. There's a
deafening bang followed by a moment of silence.
                                                            
                       ZED
You actually would have shot me.
                                                            
Brodie looks back to Zed. Absolutely nothing has happened.
Brodie squeezes the trigger three times in quick succession.
The gun fire rings out. Again, nothing.
                                                            
                       ZED
Do you fuckin' mind? That's really
loud.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
That would explain why I wasn't
hitting anything yesterday.
                                                            
                       ZED
I like to plan ahead.
                                                            
Brodie tosses the gun and leans against the wall. He slides
down until he's sitting on the floor. Zed picks up the gun
off the floor and slides it in to his waistband.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You had it all covered, didn't
you?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
He had a lot of help.
                                                            
                       ZED
Yes I did.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
We should get outta here. The
noise is gonna bring someone
around.
                                                            
                       ZED
I know.
                                                            
Zed grabs two of the bags.
                                                            

69.

                       ZED
You know. This isn't how it was
supposed to go down. I'm sorry for
that much.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
There never was enough of 'your
cut'. Didn't matter how big the
score was.
                                                            
                       ZED
I'm not gonna lie. There's a lot
of money here. The less hands in
the pot the better I feel about
it. Just the way it is.
                                                            
Jayne nods over to the 'walking around' money that was left
on the counter the previous day.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
What about that?
                                                            
                       ZED
Leave it. Grab a bag. I'll meet
you outside.
                                                            
Jayne grabs a bag and starts out the door.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
See ya.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Yeah.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
I'm glad I finally got to meet
you.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Pleasures all mine.
                                                            
Jayne leaves the garage.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
You sure you don't want to take it
all?
                                                            
                       ZED
It was supposed to be yours
anyway.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Like that makes a difference.
                                                            

70.

Zed steps up beside Brodie on his way out the door. There is
a long moment of silence. Zed inhales to speak. Brodie cuts
him off before he can.
                                                            
                       BRODIE
Save it.
                                                            
Zed nods and walks out the door.
                                                            
 
INT. JAYNE'S CAR - DAY
                                                            
Morning is just starting to break as Jayne and Zed are
rambling down a highway. Jayne is driving.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
That's a shitty thing you did to
him. The way that all turned out.
                                                            
                       ZED
A shitty thing I did to him?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
That we did to him.
                                                            
                       ZED
Brodie did this to himself. He's
not a stupid guy. He saw the
signs. He knew something was
coming and chose to ignore it. He
trusted me even when he knew
better. It's not up to me to watch
out for him.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
It used to be.
                                                            
                       ZED
You can fuckin' drop that shit
right now. You're not gonna make
me feel guilty about something you
know about from the get go. This
was the plan. This was your plan,
I might add. I don't like the way
it ended anymore than you do but
that's the way it happened. You
want to feel guilty about it
because we couldn't just walk out
on him while he slept? Fine. Don't
drag me down with you.
                                                            

71.

                       JAYNE
You're not worried about him at
all?
                                                            
                       ZED
Nope.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
What if he gets caught?
                                                            
                       ZED
He's a smart boy. We left him 5
G's. That should get him far
enough away. It'll suck having to
start all over again but it's not
gonna any worse than what he's
leaving behind.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
That was a shitty way to leave
him.
                                                            
                       ZED
Fine. Go get him.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Don't be like that.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Like what? Seriously. Take my
cell. Give him a call. Tell him
you're on your way.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Don't do that.
                                                            
                       ZED
Then drop it. I'm sick of talking
about it.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Okay.
                                                            
They drive in silence for a moment.
                                                            
                       ZED
Sorry.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
It's okay.
                                                            

72.

                       ZED
I don't want to argue about it and
I don't want to yell at you like
that. I just want you to let it
go. I don't care about it. You
knew all about me a long time ago,
babe. You knew from the start that
I was a bad man.
                                                            
Zed cell phone rings and he whips it out.
                                                            
                       ZED
I'm on my way.
      (beat)
I got it all. I think we should be
there before the end of the day.
      (beat)
See you then.
                                                            
Zed puts his phone away.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Are you thirsty?
                                                            
                       ZED
No.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
I'm thirsty.
                                                            
                       ZED
And?
                                                            
                       JAYNE
And I want something to drink. I'm
gonna pull in up here. Will you
get me something to drink?
                                                            
                       ZED
We don't need to stop yet.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Are we driving straight through to
Montreal? When do we get to stop?
I'm not waiting 10 hours to get
something to drink.
                                                            
                       ZED
Fine. Pull over.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Why?
                                                            

73.

                       ZED
Cause I need money. Pull over.
                                                            
Jayne pulls her wallet out of her purse.
                                                            
                       JAYNE
Just use my card.
                                                            
 
EXT. GAS STATION - DAY
                                                            
Zed exits the gas station with a bottle of juice in hand.
Jayne is idling at the other end of the parking lot facing
out toward the highway. Zed's phone rings. He answers it.
                                                            
                       ZED
Was wondering how long it'd before
I'd hear from you.
                                                            
                       BRODIE (O.S.)
I guess I'm just that predictable.
                                                            
                       ZED
Predictable enough. How'd you do?
Did you make it okay?
                                                            
                       BRODIE (O.S.)
I'm doing alright so far.
                                                            
                       ZED
I know I didn't leave you with
much but I knew you'd get by.
                                                            
                       BRODIE (O.S.)
I wouldn't worry too much about
what you left me with. I'm on my
way regardless.
                                                            
Zed steps up beside the driver side window and holds out the
drink for Jayne. The window is still rolled up. Zed is
paying attention to his conversation.
                                                            
                       ZED
I'm not really happy with the way
that all went down. But sometimes
you just gotta worry about the
score.
                                                            
                       BRODIE (O.S.)
Everything else is incidental. I
understand.
                                                            

74.

Zed looks over to Jayne. She has yet to roll down her window
or even look at him. She's staring out at the highway ahead.
Both hands gripped on the steering wheel.
                                                            
                       BRODIE (O.S.)
I should probably be apologizing
to you.
                                                            
Zed taps the juice bottle against the window. Jayne doesn't
respond.
                                                            
                       ZED
Unless you fucked my girl while I
was sleeping I can't think of
anything you'd need to apologize
for.
                                                            
Zed pulls on the door handle. The door is locked.
                                                            
                       BRODIE (O.S.)
I kinda made a little switch.
                                                            
                       ZED
Hold on a second, little brother.
                                                            
Zed pulls the phone away from his ear. He knocks on the
window.
                                                            
                       ZED
Jaynie.
                                                            
She finally looks over at him with an apologetic smile. She
shrugs her shoulders. Zed drops the bottle. It smashes on
the ground. He grabs the door handle and begins yanking on
it.
                                                            
                       ZED
Goddamn it Jane. Open the fucking
door.
                                                            
She mouths 'sorry' to him and steps on the gas. Zed slams
his fist again the car. He runs alongside is as long as he
can.
                                                            
                       ZED
Stop the fucking car Jaynie!
                                                            
The car pulls away from him. He whips the gun out of his
waistband and fires off three very loud rounds that do
exactly nothing.
                                                            
                       ZED
Fuck!
                                                            

75.

He throws the gun at the car missing it by a long shot. He
walks off to the side of the road and stands there watching
Jayne as she drives away. After a moment he realizes he
still has the phone in his hand. He puts it back up to his
ear.
                                                            
                       BRODIE (O.S.)
Was that what it sounded like?
                                                            
                       ZED
That bitch just drove off with my
fucking money.
                                                            
Brodie starts laughing.
                                                            
                       ZED
What the fuck are you laughing at?
                                                            
                       BRODIE (O.S.)
I was trying to tell you. There is
no money.
                                                            
                       ZED
What the fuck are you talking
about?
                                                            
                       BRODIE (O.S.)
She just drove off with three bags
of neatly cut and bound bundles of
newspaper.
                                                            
                       ZED
You cleaned the shop. You little
fuck.
                                                            
                       BRODIE (O.S.)
Don't get pissed off at me. You
had it coming.
                                                            
                       ZED
You're right. This is good. Where
are you?
                                                            
                       BRODIE (O.S.)
Doesn't matter. From now on I'm a
ghost.
                                                            
                       ZED
Don't fuck around, man. I'm
serious. The fuckin' broad's gone.
We can make good on this.
                                                            

76.

                       BRODIE (O.S.)
I have a really hard time
believing that partner.
                                                            
                       ZED
Come on. I fucked you. You fucked
me. All even. Tell me where you
are. I'll get a cab and come meet
you.
                                                            
                       BRODIE (O.S.)
Sorry, Zed. I'll catch you later.
                                                            
The line goes dead.
                                                            
                       ZED
Cock sucker.
                                                            
Zed immediately tries to call him back.
                                                            
 
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD - DAY
                                                            
Brodie is leaning against the hood of the rusted out car
that was at the garage. He's out in the middle of a country
road surrounded by fields, dirt roads, and a whole lot of
nothing. The car is pulled over to the side of the road.
                                                            
His cell phone rings in his hand. He lets ring for a moment
before throwing it as hard as he can in to the nearby field.
It continues to ring in the distance.
                                                            
He gets in the car and starts it up. It roars to life. Two
duffel bags are on the floor on the passenger side. The bag
with the bullet hole sits on the seat beside him.
                                                            
Brodie lights up a cigarette and drives away.
                                                            


THE END


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From Jackalope Date 1/31/2007 ***1/2
This has some distinct possibilities. Language is a bit overtly rough (more profanity that the average person cares to believe would transpire in any given conversation). Story is paced in noir-ish fashion, however, careful with the action lines. There is some repetition, i.e., [They are sitting around watching the news. They are picking at what's left of the Chinese food.- for example.] Too many they are, they are, they are's (all in one action sequence). Careful with those. Better to connect them in one sentence or break them up with alternate ways of description. Other than that, formatting is superb. And to boot, this is some very interesting work!


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