Screenwriter Community |
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by Taylor Hoff (dirt_bike_chick15@yahoo.com)
Rated: 
Genre: Teen Movies
User Review: 
Makenzie has a terrible day at her school.
This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
FADE IN:
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EXT. ESTABLISHING SHOT, OUTSIDE HER HOUSE - NIGHT |
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MOM
(Moms voice)
Makenzie, go to bed its already
past midnight and you have school
tomorow. |
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MAKENZIE
(Makenzies voice)
Okay, but let me finish this
first. |
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INT. KITCHEN - DAY |
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Makenzie walks into the kitchen and sits next to her mom at
the table |
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MOM
Just so you know, you are grounded
for the rest of the month... |
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MAKENZIE
Wait... what... why? |
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MOM
I got your report card yesterday
and you have two 'F's. That's
why. |
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Mom gets up from the table and brings Makenzie her
breakfast. Makenzie begins eating. |
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MR. D
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE NIGHT BEFORE?
WHAT WAS SHE FINISHING? |
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INT. MAKENZIE'S BEDROOM - DAY |
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Makenzie is grabbing her stuff for school. |
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2.
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INT. KITCHEN - DAY |
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Makenzie walks back into the kitchen and sitts down at the
table next to her brother and grabs a paper out of her
binder |
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SKYLER
Good morning Makenzie |
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SKYLER
What are you doing? |
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MAKENZIE
making sure that there are no
mistakes in this paper |
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Skyler was getting up from the table and he accidentally
knocked his water over and it spilled all over Makenzie's
paper |
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SKYLER
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't
mean to do that. |
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MAKENZIE
It's okay buddy, don't worry. I
have a back up on the computer,
I'll go print it out. |
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Makenzie walks out of the kitchen and heads up the stairs |
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INT. MAKENZIES BEDROOM - DAY |
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Makenzie walks into her room and opens up the document on
the computer. She emails the document to the computer down
stairs. She closes eveything down and walks out of her room. |
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INT. HOME OFFICE - DAY |
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Makenzie walks into the office and opens up her email and
prints out another copy of her essay. She closes her email
and walks out of the office. |
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3.
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INT. KITCHEN - DAY |
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Makenzie grabs all of her stuff and talks to her mom |
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MAKENZIE
See ya later mom. |
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MOM
Have a good day at school |
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Makenzie walks out of the house and walks to school |
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EXT. MAKENZIE WALKING TO SCHOOL - DAY |
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You see Makenzie walking down the hill to the school. In
the backround you here the tardy bell ring. |
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MAKENZIE
(to herself)
Great now I have a detention |
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INT. CLASSROOM - DAY |
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Makenzie walks into the classroom. She sits down at her
desk. The teacher walks over to her desk and puts a peice
of paper on the desk, its a detention slip. |
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MRS. STAR
(just her voice)
You have a detention. |
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MAKENZIE
(just her voice)
Yeah I can see that. |
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MRS. STAR
(just her voice)
Thats 5 tardies in the past 2
weeks |
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Makenzie stuffs the detention slip into her binder |
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EXT. AROUND CAMPUS - DAY |
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Makenzie is walking over to her boyfriend, Cameron. |
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4.
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CAMERON
Hey, umm can you come with me
plaese? |
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CAMERON
Listen, I really like you and all,
but it's just not going to work
out. |
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CAMERON
I'm sorry, but you are just
different now, and I don't like
it. |
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MAKENZIE
Yeah, sure whatever, don't be
sorry, it's your loss. |
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CAMERON
Please don't be mad. I still want
to be friends though, I don't want
to completly lose you. |
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MAKENZIE
Alright, I don't want to lose you
completly either. |
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Makenzie walks away leaving Cameron standing there. |
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INT. IN CLASS, 6TH PERIOD - DAY |
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Makenzie is texting on her phone and the teacher, Mr. Rain,
walks over to her desk. |
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MR. RAIN
Hand it over please. |
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MR. RAIN
This is the second time, Miss.
Daily, now you have a detention. |
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5.
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Mr. Rain hands her a detention slip. The bell rings and all
the kids rush out of the class. Makenzie runs and finds her
friends, Brad, and Stephen. They all walk away. |
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EXT. MAKENZIES HOUSE - DAY |
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Makenzie and her friends all walk up to the front door and
Makenzie searches through her purse for her key but she
can't find it. She grabs her cell phone and calls her mom.
She hangs up and starts walking around to the backyard. |
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STEPHEN
Do you have a the key? |
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MAKENZIE
I don't have mine but my mom says
there's one in the backyard. |
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Makenzie looks for the key and can't find it. |
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MAKENZIE
Well it's not here so lets go down
to the park and pass the football
around. |
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Makenzie picks a football up on her way of the backyard.
They start walking down to the park. |
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EXT. PARK - DAY |
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Makenzie, Brad, and Stephen all walk down the hill to the
park. Stephen runs and Makenzie throws the football to him.
They all start throwing the ball around. Everytime the
ball goes to Makenzie it either goes over her head and she
drops it. |
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BRAD
Come on, what's going on, normally
you catch everything. |
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MAKENZIE
I'm just having a bad day I guess.
Hey, lets go back to my house
now. |
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They all walk back up the hill and head home. |
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6.
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EXT. OUT FRONT OF MAKENZIES HOUSE - DAY |
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MAKENZIE
I'll see you guys tomorow. |
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STEPHEN
I'm gonna call you later okay? |
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Makenzie hugs the guys and they get in the car and leave.
Makenzies parents are home now so she goes inside. |
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INT. MAKENZIES ROOM - DAY |
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You see Makenzie working on her computer then, leave her
room. |
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INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT |
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Makenzie walks into the kitchen and she eats dinner and gets
up and walks out. |
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INT. MAKENZIES ROOM - NIGHT |
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Makenzie closes her computer down and starts to draw a
picture. It is her sleeping. Makenzie is now getting into
bed. |
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MR. D
THAT REALLY GOES NO WHERE. WHAT IS
YOUR MOVIE ABOUT? WOULD YOU WANT
TO WATCH IT? THERE IS NO TENSION
DRAMA OR CHARACTER ARC. YOU NEED
TO DO ANOTHER ONE. |
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FADE OUT. |
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| Feedback |
| From Bob |
Date 12/2/2007 |
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| This was pretty bad. The characters actions don't make sense. The mother telling the girl shes grounded and the the girl just saying "Ok." that's it? Bad. |
| From Jason M Kennedy |
Date 6/20/2007 |
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| You skip around to much, like when thier at the park throwing the football. You need more dialouge, who would walk all the way to the park throw the football three times and leave. I mean I'm a director and a critic for Diamonddawgs Studios. I will show this to some of our writers and see if they can't help you constructively. Later. |
| From robert |
Date 1/23/2007 |
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| great story i want u to do a sequel. very good job
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| From Zach Shevich |
Date 1/21/2007 |
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| There was no real point to this and it was poorly written. Try reading some of the dialouge aloud and you'll understand. There was no real positives about this but the fact that this at least looked like there was some effort deserves more than 0 stars. |
| From Roman |
Date 1/19/2007 |
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| This story is boring and it has no conflict. You should add some conflict or atleast some comedy. |
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