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DRIVE THRU
by Shaun Rothman & Brendon Alleyne (shaunrothman@yahoo.ca)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ***
Welcome to the world of the Honkey Donkey Burger Jamboree a top 10 fast food chain worthy of driving by. Shane is stuck in a dead end job with a bunch of circus freak colleagues. As he struggles through another day of brutal customers he tries to remind himself of what he is trying to do with his life. But itís hard to do when customers are throwing burgers at you, Managers are hanging over your shoulder with ridiculous requests and depressing stories of adultery, small children are vomiting all over the floor and a girl all up in your face as she desperately wants his love. Drive Thru is a laugh out loud comedy specifically for the fast food nation. Anyone who knowís the pains of working Drive Thru at a burger joint will have fun and release a little anger with this flick. Enjoy.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

INT. HDBJ - DINING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
The following is a TAPE of the Honkey Donkey Burger
Jamoboree (A newer chain of fast food restaurant that prides
itself in unusual combos)training video. It's meant to give
us the feel of being a new employee and will be a running
gag throughout the film.
                                                            
 
INT. SUBURBAN STREET - DAY
                                                            
SHANE ROTH, early 20's, riding his bike at full speed down a
suburban street wearing a back pack.

He jumps a curb and narrowly avoids a lady walking on the
sidewalk.

He cuts over a lawn and stops his bike at the front door of
his home. He jumps off, leaving the bike on the ground.
                                                            
 
INT. SHANE'S HOME - DAY
                                                            
ON TELEVISION: A T.V. commercial for the Honkey Donkey
Burger Jamboree. The television abruptly turns off and a
controller hits the television.
                                                            
Shane falls face first on his bed, still wearing the back
pack.

The phone RINGS. He let's it ring about four times and picks
it up.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Hello...What? Are you kidding me?
I just got home. When are you
going to be there?
(beat)
Fine one hour. That's all. Bye.
                                                            
Shane gets up and peels off his back pack and shirt. He
opens his closet door, and a hockey stick falls out hitting
him in the forehead.

The top shelf of the closet is filled with trophies and
pictures of Shane with various hockey teams.

Shane takes a shirt from the closet and puts it on. He
stuffs the hockey stick back in the closet and closes the
door.
                                                            
 

2.

INT. SHANE'S HOME - KITCHEN - DAY
                                                            
LINDA ROTH, early 40's is putting away groceries.

Shane walks into the kitchen, opens the fridge, grabs an
apple and shoves it into his mouth. He swings his back pack
over his shoulder.
                                                            
                       LINDA
      (filling the
       cupboards)
Where are you going now?
                                                            
                       SHANE
I have to go back to work.
Trevor's gonna be late so he asked
if I could cover him.
                                                            
                       LINDA
Why can't they get someone else?
You just got home. You're working
to many hours lately.
                                                            
Shane looks at the Hydro bill lying on the table.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (looking at the
       bill)
I live down the street. It's no
big deal. Besides we could use the
money.
                                                            
Linda snags the bill off the counter and puts it in a
drawer.
                                                            
                       LINDA
You don't have to worry. I had an
interview at St. Robert's for a
full time teaching position.
You're too young to be worried
about all these bills. Go out with
your friends, have a good time.
                                                            
Shane pauses for a moment staring at the ground. He nods his
head and walks away.

Linda watches him go off. She takes the bill out and looks
it over. She looks as though she is about to start crying.
She shakes it off and pulls out her cheque book.
                                                            
 

3.

INT. SANDY'S HOME - DAY
                                                            
SANDY, early 20's is making breakfast for her father. She
pours some scrambled eggs onto a plate and walks over to
RICHARD, early 40's (her father) and places the plate in
front of him.

He lowers the newspaper revealing his face.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
      (smiling)
Thank you sweet heart. Nothing
like a good breakfast, for dinner.
                                                            
Sandy sits down in front of him.
                                                            
                       SANDY
Just hurry up and eat so you can
drive me to work.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Can you believe these Jaguars.
Ever since I left that team it's
been falling apart.
                                                            
Sandy's face quickly becomes annoyed.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
      (looking up at her)
You know if it wasn't for that god
damn moron Shane, I would have...
                                                            
                       SANDY
Daddy please. Enough already.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
What? I'm just saying... Can you
believe you almost dated that kid?
I'm just glad you didn't piss your
life away.
                                                            
Sandy abruptly leaves the table.
                                                            
                       RICHARD (CONT'D)
Where are you going?
                                                            
                       SANDY (O.S.)
I'll call a cab.
                                                            
In the distance a door SLAMS. Richard pulls his paper back
over his face.
                                                            
 

4.

INT. JUSTIN'S CAR - NIGHT
                                                            
JUSTIN BERENAS, mid twenties, (brown gino), is driving to
work. He is on his cell phone.
                                                            
Justin pulls up to a light. He notices a small child in the
car next to him.

The small child is picking his nose and wiping it on the
back of the passenger seat.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
Look, we have to close this deal.
      (looking to his
       left)
Sorry man, hang on a second.
                                                            
The child looks at Justin and sticks out his tongue.
                                                            
Justin motions to the small child's mother to roll down her
window.
                                                            
The child's mother (ANGRY LADY) rolls down her passenger
window.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
Honestly ma'am, I don't mean to be
rude or anything, but the kid,
he's wiping his snot all over the
back of the passenger seat.
                                                            
                       ANGRY LADY
He's just a kid. And what do you
care? It's my car.
                                                            
Justin looks over at the small child again.

The small child picks his nose, eats it, and licks the back
of the chair.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
Did you see that? He just did it
again.
                                                            
                       ANGRY LADY
I have an idea. What don't you
mind your business you ignorant
prick.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
You know one day you're going to
sell that car. And the poor sap
that buys it is going to have your
sons crusty bugers all over his
            (MORE)

5.

                       JUSTIN (cont'd)
seat. If you don't show the kid
some discipline now, he's gonna
end up outside burger joints
begging kids for nickels and
dimes.
                                                            
The child's mother rolls up the window and gives Justin the
finger.

Justin shakes his head with disdain.

The child's mother starts to drive up and the child has one
middle finger in his nose and one stuck up at Justin.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
      (putting the phone
       back to his ear)
You wouldn't believe what I just
witnessed. You just can't get a
good used quality auto anymore. So
what's up, we got a deal or what?
(long beat)
Well then hurry up. I can't be
selling donkey meat for the rest
of my life. You know what I mean?
                                                            
Justin turns into a plaza.
                                                            
 
INT. HONKEY DONKEY BURGER JAMBOREE - NIGHT
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT :A poster of several animated animals on an
office wall.
                                                            
WIDE SHOT: Terrance Chen 5'3, 149 pounds (early 40's) sits
in an office chair in front of a computer.
                                                            
The phone RINGS.
                                                            
E.C.U. of an arm reaching for the phone.
                                                            
E.C.U. of Terrance's mouth.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
      (thick Chinese
       accent)
Thank you for calling the Honkey
Donkey Burger Jamboree, Terrance
speaking, how may I help you on
this honkey donkey day?
                                                            

6.

                       TREVOR (O.S.)
      (sarcastically)
Terrance, it's Trevor. I'm going
to be a little later then I
originally anticipated.
Unfortunately I've had a little
quandary with my motorized
vehicle.
                                                            
E.C.U. of Terrance's mouth being filled with a fork full of
rice and fish. His mouth chewing in the most exasperating
way. His short bulky fingers puncture his slender lips as he
sucks the remaining flavour from each of them, rice soaring
from his mouth.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
      (licking his lips)
Oh. No problem. I just tell Shane
to cover you OK? I see you soon.
                                                            
                       TREVOR (O.S.)
      (restraining his
       laughter)
I appreciate your magnanimous
empathy for my existing state of
affairs. And I want to assure you
that I'll be there promptly within
the next couple of hours baring
any further incident.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Oh. OK. I see you soon.
                                                            
CLOSE UP on Terrance's hand hanging up the phone.
                                                            
DOLLY SHOT of tiny legs shuffling through the kitchen and
into the drive thru area.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DRIVE THRU AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
CAMERA PULLS UP revealing Terrance's corpulent face.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Oh. Trevor is going to be a little
later then expected. You stay
longer for me?
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of SHANE ROTH, early 20's (short in stature with
a well kept goatee). A look of annoyance coming over his
face.
                                                            

7.

                       SHANE
      (removing his head
       set)
No.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Terrance staring into Shane's eyes.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Trevor call for you. He say that
he be two hour late instead of one
today. You cover him for me OK.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Terrance staring into Shane's eyes.
                                                            
BACK TO TIGHT SHOT of Shane's cold face staring into the
eyes of Terrance.
                                                            
BACK TO CLOSE UP of Terrance's moronic face staring back.
                                                            
BACK TO TIGHT SHOT of Shane reluctantly placing his headset
on. DING. Drive thru theme SONG plays quietly over his
headset.
                                                            
CAMERA FOLLOWS Shane as he walks over a few steps and stands
in front of his till.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Shane.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (displeased)
We're having a honkey donkey day
at the Honkey Donkey Burger
Jamboree, can I take your order
please?
                                                            
                       HIP INDIAN (O.S.)
      (hip Indian accent)
I'm a ...
(beat)
looking for the...
(beat)
combo with the meat block.
(long beat)
                                                            
CLOSE IN on Shane's fingers tapping against the counter.
                                                            
BACK TO TIGHT SHOT.
                                                            
                       SHANE
I'm sorry sir, what combo did you
want?
                                                            
CUT TO:
                                                            
 

8.

EXT. DRIVE THRU - SPEAKER - CONTINUOUS - NIGHT
                                                            
WIDE SHOT: A young, hip, Indian male sitting in his car,
staring at the drive thru speaker.
                                                            
                       HIP INDIAN
      (with clear
       ignorance)
Ya dude, you know the one with the
meat block man... and the sprite
combo, and a spice? You know the
one with the spice? You have the
spice dude?
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT: The menu board.
                                                            
                       SHANE (O.S.)
      (ill-humoured)
Ya we have a lot of spices. Which
one do you want?
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Hip Indian staring at the speaker, his eyes
bulging out of his head. He tilts his head.
                                                            
                       HIP INDIAN
      (squinting)
Dude, the one that's hot dude.
                                                            
CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DRIVE THRU AREA - CONTINUOUS - NIGHT
                                                            
CLOSE IN on Shane's hand pummeling the till with combative
like punches.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Shane taking deep breathes.
                                                            
                       HIP INDIAN (O.S.)
Dude hello? You're still there, or
what's the deal?
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (calm)
I can spice your burger for you,
but you gotta be a little more
specific.
                                                            
                       HIP INDIAN (O.S.)
You know the one with the picture
of the sprite in the commercial
dude? The one with the burger.
Come on dude you know the one. How
            (MORE)

9.

                       HIP INDIAN (cont'd)
long you work here?
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Shane's fist clenching.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - KITCHEN - NIGHT
                                                            
LONG SHOT of Roee as he looks toward the drive thru area
with obvious disdain.
                                                            
 
INT. DRIVE THRU AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
BACK TO WIDE SHOT of Shane standing in front of the till.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (enraged)
What the fuck is wrong with you?
You think that I go home and
catalogue these commercials? Just
look at the god damn board and
tell me what you want.
                                                            
                       HIP INDIAN (O.S.)
Uh...
(long beat)
You really don't remember the
commercial dude?
                                                            
Shane grabs a package of medium sized drink cups, and
smashes them several times against the counter.
                                                            
                       SHANE
I can't even remember what I had
for breakfast. Just pick a fucking
burger.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of ROEE GOLD, early 20's (very tall, thin
build), as he walks over to Shane and grabs his head set.
                                                            
                       ROEE
      (speaking Shane's
       mic)
Worst, decision making, ever.
                                                            
Roee quickly walks out of the shot.
                                                            
                       HIP INDIAN (O.S.)
Dude, who is that? Is that the guy
from the commercial? Ask him about
the spice.
                                                            

10.

                       SHANE
Listen buddy, you're testing my
patience. Just look at the
enormous donkey ass in front of
you and make a decision.
                                                            
                       HIP INDIAN (O.S.)
You know the one in the commercial
with the cheese and J-Lo is like,
mmmmm that's a good cheese?
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Shane's face filled with outrage. He loosens up
and cracks a smile.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (Shane calm, but
       stern)
No dude. She says that's a good
cheeseburger. So what I'm going to
do, is punch in a donker deluxe
combo with cheese, and I'm going
to assume that's all, alright?
                                                            
                       HIP INDIAN (O.S.)
Alright dude, I'm coming to the
first window.
                                                            
BACK TO WIDE SHOT of Shane as he scoops some ice with a cup,
and fills it with cola. He turns and looks out the window.
                                                            
Shane's P.O.V. of Hip Indian as he pulls up to the window.

QUICK CLOSE UP of Shane handing him the drink and Hip Indian
handing over the money.
                                                            
BACK TO Shane's P.O.V. of Hip Indian.
                                                            
                       HIP INDIAN
Sorry about all the confusion
dude.
                                                            
TIGHT DOLLY SHOT as Shane packs his sandwich and meat blocks
into a bag. He walks over to the window and hands the
customer his food.
                                                            
Shane's P.O.V. of Hip Indian as he examines his food. Hip
Indian looks up at Shane.

Hip Indian's P.O.V. of Shane staring at him, shaking his
head.
                                                            

11.

                       HIP INDIAN (O.S.)
      (to Shane)
Hey dude. This isn't the sandwich
from the commercial.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (without
       hesitation)
Yes it is.
                                                            
BACK TO Shane's P.O.V. as Hip Indian examines the sandwich
again.
                                                            
We Cut back and forth between P.O.V. as the discussion
continues.
                                                            
                       HIP INDIAN
      (looks up at Shane)
But dude, seriously, you know,
there's no cheese on it.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Give me the sandwich.
                                                            
                       HIP INDIAN
      (perplexed)
What?
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (yelling)
Give me the fucking sandwich!
                                                            
QUICK CLOSE UP of The sandwich being exchanged from Hip
Indians hand to Shane's hand.
                                                            
TIGHT DOLLY SHOT of Shane walking toward the kitchen and Hip
Indian's incoherent face behind him.
                                                            
                       SHANE (CONT'D)
      (under his breath.)
If I find cheese in this fucking
burger so help me god.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - KITCHEN - NIGHT
                                                            
TIGHT PROFILE SHOT of DANTE MARCHWOOD early 20's (aging like
a 40 year old man) with pronounced nose. Shane creeps in the
corner of the shot.

E.C.U. of Shane's hand slamming the sandwich on the counter.
                                                            

12.

Shane's P.O.V. of Dante looking at the burger. He then
reaches to touch it.
                                                            
                       SHANE (O.S.)
      (to Dante)
Don't fucking touch it. Is there
cheese on that sandwich?
                                                            
TIGHT PROFILE SHOT.
                                                            
                       DANTE
      (nervous)
I'm pretty sure. I probably put
it. Ya I think its there.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (stern)
Show me where.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Dante reaching for the sandwich. Shane slaps
his hand.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of both of them.
                                                            
                       SHANE (CONT'D)
Don't touch it. Just tell me
where.
                                                            
                       DANTE
      (stuttering)
It's, it's under the patty.
                                                            
MEDIUM SHOT of Roee laughing in the back round.

CLOSE UP of Shane grabbing the sandwich.

DOLLY SHOT of Shane as he walks back toward the drive thru
window.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DRIVE THRU AREA - NEXT - NIGHT
                                                            
SHANE'S MOVING P.O.V. walking up to the window and we see
Hip Indian SINGING 50 cent's "just a little bit."
                                                            
                       HIP INDIAN
Ya baby all I need is a little
bit. Give me a taste of that shit
just a little bit.
                                                            
Shane's hand enters the shot holding the burger in front of
Hip Indian's face. Hip Indian stops singing and looks up at
Shane.
                                                            

13.

Hip Indian's P.O.V. of Shane looking down at him.
                                                            
                       SHANE (O.S.)
What the fuck is that? You know
what? Don't even answer, cause we
both know what it is. It's cheese
isn't it?
                                                            
BACK TO SHANE'S P.O.V. of Hip Indian.
                                                            
                       HIP INDIAN
      (handing him the
       burger and the
       bag)
Oh you put the cheese under the
patty dude. You have to put it on
top of the patty. You know, so I
can see it and eat it. And P.S.
you forgot my meat blocks.
                                                            
Hip Indian's P.O.V. of Shane snatching the food from his
hand. He peeks inside.

E.C.U. of Meat blocks in a bag.
                                                            
CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - KITCHEN - NEXT - NIGHT
                                                            
WIDE SHOT of Shane storming into the kitchen.

CLOSE UP of Dante picking one of his many pimples.

CLOSE UP of Roee's eyes staring at Shane.

CLOSE UP of Shane's eyes staring back at Roee.

NEW WIDE SHOT of Shane tossing the bag to Roee.

E.C.U. of Roee's hand catching it.

BACK TO WIDE SHOT of Roee as he takes the burger from the
bag and raises it in the air. Roee tosses the burger in the
air.

MOVING SHOT of the bag flying across the air.

BACK TO WIDE SHOT as Shane runs forward and jumps in the
air.

CLOSE UP of Shane as he catches the burger in mid air.


14.

BACK TO WIDE SHOT as Shane slams the burger into the bag
with fierce aggression.

E.C.U. of Shane grabbing the bag from Roee's hand.

BACK TO WIDE SHOT as Shane twists the top tightly. He raises
his hand in the air.

CLOSE UP of Shane's hand smashing the bag against the
counter repeatedly.

CLOSE UP of Dante staring in disbelief. His head moves up
and down with the smashing of the bag.

BACK TO WIDE SHOT as Shane stops and looks at Roee.

CLOSE UP of Roee nodding.
                                                            
BACK TO WIDE SHOT of Shane storming toward the front again,
Roee following closely behind.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DRIVE THRU AREA - NEXT - NIGHT
                                                            
Shane's MOVING P.O.V. walking toward the window. Hip Indian
with both hands on the steering wheel BLASTING his music. A
bag of food smashes him in the face and his head jerks back.
He places his hand on his jaw and looks up.
                                                            
                       HIP INDIAN
      (to Shane)
You mother fucking cock shit slut
bitch fucker. Don't be surprised
if your manger gets a call about
this.
                                                            
Hip Indian's P.O.V. of Shane.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Don't be surprised if I don't
care.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Shane slamming the drive thru window.

MEDIUM SHOT of Roee walking past Shane.

CLOSE UP of Roee's hand opening the drive thru window.

Hip Indian's P.O.V. of Roee looking the car up and down.
                                                            

15.

                       ROEE
      (to Hip Indian)
Weakest ride. Get that pimped, one
time.
                                                            
TIGHT PROFILE SHOT from the passenger seat of the car as we
see Hip Indian looking up at Roee as he slams the window
shut. Hip Indian peels out and his body tenses up and he
grasps the steering wheel.
                                                            
CUT TO: MEDIUM SHOT of Shane and Roee staring out the window
as they hear a CRASH.
                                                            
                       HIP INDIAN (O.S.)
      (screaming)
Mother Bitches.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - FRONT CASH - NIGHT
                                                            
DOLLY SHOT of Roee and Shane walking toward the front cash.
They are both taken aback.
                                                            
E.C.U. of a girl's hand holding down her lip with a
ginormous canker exposed.
                                                            
TWO SHOT of Roee and Shane with their jaws dropped, their
faces filled with disgust.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of SHARON BOTHMAN, late teens (thin build, brown
hair, distinct features) stands in front of them with an
annoyed look on her face,
still holding her lip.
                                                            
                       SHARON
      (to Roee)
What the fuck are you looking at?
                                                            
BACK TO THE TWO SHOT of Roee and Shane.
                                                            
                       ROEE
What are you advertising?
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (to Sharon)
What the shit is that?
                                                            
BACK TO TIGHT SHOT.
                                                            
                       SHARON
      (to Shane,
       slurping saliva)
Make sure nobody takes those seats
in the corner over there because
            (MORE)

16.

                       SHARON (cont'd)
they're reserved for a party.
                                                            
A NEW WIDE SHOT of the three of them. Roee intensely staring
at her.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (to Sharon)
Why can't you do it?
                                                            
Roee stepping in for a closer look.
                                                            
Sharon backing up.
                                                            
                       SHARON
      (talking to Shane,
       but staring at
       Roee)
Cause I have to put my canker
cream on duh! I have a fucking
date tonight. I can't deal with
this shit.
      (to Roee)
What!
                                                            
Roee takes a small bag of fries from his pocket and puts one
in his mouth.
                                                            
                       ROEE
      (casually eating a
       fry)
Get that checked out, one time.
                                                            
                       SHARON
Hey, here's an idea. Why don't you
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
                                                            
Sharon storms past them in a fit of rage as they watch her
pass. Roee offers Shane a fry and he waves it off.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DINING AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
DOLLY SHOT (backwards) of Shane and Roee walking into the
dining area collecting a few dirty trays off the tables.
They approach the reserved area in the corner of the dining
area and look at the tables.

The CAMERA TURNS AND WE SEE A MEDIUM SHOT of 80's inspired
birthday hats sitting on the tables.

E.C.U. of a sign reading: RESERVED FOR N.E.R.D.S. MEMBERS.
                                                            

17.

TWO SHOT of Roee and Shane.
                                                            
                       SHANE (O.S.)
      (walking away)
I don't even want to know.
                                                            
Roee steps closer to the table and grabs one of the hats. He
takes a look around. He than puts the hat in his pants and
wipes his crotch with it.

CLOSE UP of Roee's hand placing the hat back on the table.

BACK TO TWO SHOT (MINUS ONE PERSON). Roee takes another
quick glance of the restaurant.
                                                            
                       ROEE
There's nothing quite like the
aroma of sweaty balls on your
head.
                                                            
Roee walks out of the shot.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - KITCHEN - NIGHT
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Dante clearing the old sandwiches from the
steamer.

MEDIUM SHOT of JUSTIN BERENAS, mid twenties (tall brown male
with Gino like qualities) as he approaches Dante.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
What the fuck are you doing?
                                                            
Dante stops what he's doing.
                                                            
                       DANTE
      (nervous)
I'm throwing these burgers away.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
How long have these burgers been
sitting here Dante?
                                                            
                       DANTE
I don't know. Like half an hour or
so.
                                                            
Justin slides the steamer open and points inside.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
Put them back Dante.
                                                            

18.

                       DANTE
But HDBJ standards require that we
must dispose of any sandwich that
has reached it's expiry, and
record such waste...
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
      (cutting him off)
Look, these burgers are good for
at least another hour.You know
what I mean?
                                                            
                       DANTE
But Terrance said...
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
      (cutting him off)
Dante, What did I tell you about
washing your face with the burger
meat. You're fucking greased
buddy. Go wash up.
                                                            
                       DANTE
I'm just a little nervous. I feel
all tingly inside. Rainbow is
coming to see me and ...
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
What kind of fucking response is
that? I tell you to go wash up and
you tell me your tingly for a
rainbow. Don't you have a
girlfriend? Get over to the sink
and clean your shit up. How are we
going to sell burgers if customers
have to stare at your shiny
pimpled face? Think about that for
a minute. Now go wash up.
                                                            
Dante exits the shot as Justin watches him off.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN (cont'd)
      (looking around)
Am I the only one who heard that?
This guy's getting all tingly over
a rainbow. Dante you're sloppy
buddy.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Dante frantically cleansing his face.
                                                            
 

19.

INT. HDBJ - DISH AND PREP AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
TWO SHOT of Shane as he approaches Sandy.
                                                            
                       SHANE
How's everything going with you?
                                                            
                       SANDY
I'm good Shane. All of a sudden
you care?
                                                            
                       SHANE
Look Sandy we both know your Dad
hates me. I know you feel the same
way.
                                                            
                       SANDY
      (sarcastically)
So if you know that then why even
bother talking to me now?
                                                            
Terrance steps in between Shane and Sandy with his hands on
their shoulders.

Shane removes Terrance's hand from his shoulder and walks
away.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Oh, you put the burger down for me
OK?
                                                            
Sandy staring at him as she is scrubbing a tray. She shrugs
her shoulder knocking his hand off.
                                                            
                       SANDY
You just finished telling me to do
the dishes like 2 minutes ago. How
come you can't get Dante to do
that?
                                                            
WIDE SHOT of Dante trying to operate the ketchup container.
It explodes all over his apron.
                                                            
                       DANTE
Oh, what the fuck?
                                                            
Roee passes by.
                                                            
                       ROEE
      (walking away)
Zeen.
                                                            

20.

BACK TO TWO SHOT of Terrance and Sandy staring at Dante.

CLOSE UP of Terrance's face. He pulls his glasses down to
his nose with one finger and tilts his head down making eye
contact with Sandy.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Clearly you can see that you're
the only one that can do this for
me.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Sandy.
                                                            
                       SANDY
Why can't you do it?
                                                            
NEW WIDE SHOT of Terrance and Sandy.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Oh lots of work for me today
already. I have to sweep the
parking lot. You send burger for
me, OK?
                                                            
E.C.U. of her eyes filled with hostility as she watches
Terrance walk away.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - KITCHEN - NIGHT
                                                            
The following takes place in Sandy's imagination.

Sharon spears Terrance, taking him to the ground. She pulls
a knife from her sock and starts stabbing him with
phenomenal rage.
                                                            
                       SHARON
Oh I tell you... Oh I tell
you...You die for me OK. Oh.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DISH AND PREP AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
E.C.U. of Sandy's eyes.

The CAMERA PULLS BACK revealing her smiling face.
                                                            
 
EXT. PLAZA PARKING LOT - NIGHT
                                                            
WIDE SHOT of The entire MORBIO crew consisting of
TREVOR,black male, early 20's, SULLI, early twenties (tall,
pasty, lanky white male),Murphy, early 20's (Billy Joel

21.

Armstrong clone), COURT, early 20's (Kevin Smith clone), and
BRENT, early 20's
(tall white male with male model facial qualities),all
clearly drunk, are standing in front of their car smoking a
spliff.

A long shot of the HONKEY Donkey Burger Jamboree.

TIGHT SHOT of Murphy holding a beer and staring at the HDBJ.
                                                            
                       MURPHY
      (slurring)
So is that your work with the big
fucking donkey on top of it?
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Trevor.
                                                            
                       TREVOR
      (disgusted)
Unfortunately yes.
                                                            
BACK TO WIDE SHOT of Murphy taking a drag of the spliff and
while looking the other way, blowing smoke, hands it to Roee
who just walks up and joins the circle nonchalantly.
                                                            
                       ROEE
Zeen.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Roee taking a number of massive drags on the
spliff, shrinking it significantly, and then passing it to
Trevor.

BACK TO WIDE SHOT as Trevor looks at him but is to stoned to
make the connection, and then does a double take.

LONG SHOT of the parking lot and Roee is nowhere to be seen.

BACK TO WIDE SHOT of Trevor as he takes a few hauls and
passes it to Sulli.
                                                            
TWO SHOT of Sulli as throws his cigarette on the ground, and
takes a massive drag of the joint.
                                                            
                       SULLI
      (stoned)
That's so gay.
      (exhaling)
Your uniforms are so fucking gay.
                                                            
                       TREVOR
Tell me about it.
                                                            

22.

Sulli looks down at the spliff
                                                            
                       SULLI
Yo Trevor man you bogarded the
spliff again.
                                                            
                       TREVOR
Sullivan, what the shit are you
talking about? I barely took
anything.
                                                            
                       SULLI
Dude you always do this shit, you
gotta ease up on your tokes
                                                            
                       TREVOR
Sullivan every time we smoke a
joint you claim I bogard the
spliff and, every time it's always
YOU with the vanished spliff in
your hand. So I'm starting to
think that maybe YOU might be the
culprit.
                                                            
BACK TO WIDE SHOT of Murphy spitting out his beer with a
sudden merge of laughter.
                                                            
                       SULLI
Oh fuck you Trevor.
                                                            
                       COURT
      (leaning against
       the car)
Well gentleman, essentially what
we should do is roll up on that
mother fucking drive thru and tear
it up.
                                                            
                       MURPHY
      (raising his beer)
I second that motion.
                                                            
Sulli picks up his cigarette from the ground and takes
another drag.
                                                            
                       SULLI
      (exhaling)
Is that your fucking manager?
                                                            

23.

LONG SHOT of Terrance sweeping the parking lot in the
distance.

BACK TO WIDE SHOT of The whole crew looking over at him.
                                                            
                       SULLI (CONT'D)
Why the fuck is he sweeping the
parking lot? What a loser. Doesn't
he drive a Benz? What is he doing?
He's so fucking gay. That is so
fucking gay dude. I don't know how
you put up with that shit. What a
loser.
                                                            
They all LAUGH.
                                                            
                       SULLI (CONT'D)
Yo, yo, isn't that the guy, is
that your boss, do his voice, do
the ohhhhh or whatever.


                                                            
                       TREVOR
      (mocking Terrance)
Ohhhh you put down the burger for
me OK? You sweep the floor for me,
you do everything for me ohhhh.
                                                            
                       SULLI
      (laughing
       hysterically)
Holy shit that's fucking amazing,
Trevor you're the funniest guy I
know man.
                                                            
Sulli bends over laughing hard.
                                                            
                       SULLI
Why does he work here? He clearly
doesn't need the money.
                                                            
                       MURPHY
Alright boys let's fuckus.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Court.
                                                            
                       COURT
Dude did you just say you'll fuck
us?
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Murphy.
                                                            

24.

                       MURPHY
Court, I said focus.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Court, thinking intently.
                                                            
                       COURT
No I'm pretty sure you said fuck
us.
                                                            
BACK TO WIDE SHOT.
                                                            
                       MURPHY
Court that's neither here nor
there. Alright Trevor you have to
bring your "A" game on this one.
                                                            
Brent stands up straight and adjusts his hat.
                                                            
                       BRENT
Guys, don't put so much pressure
on him. Trevor just do your best.
                                                            
A long moment of silence as everyone stares at Brent.
                                                            
                       MURPHY
Alright guys lets hit this drive
thru like its going out of style.
                                                            
They all make a Circle and put their hands in the middle.
                                                            
                       MORBIO
      (raising their
       hands)
MORBIO.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Brent.
                                                            
                       BRENT
Guys all we need is love.
                                                            
BACK TO WIDE SHOT as The group stares at him for a moment
and then shake their heads.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DRIVE THRU AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
JAMIE, an elderly man handing money to Shane through the
drive thru window.
                                                            
                       JAMIE
How's your mother Shane?
                                                            

25.

                       SHANE
      (giving him his
       change)
She's doing well sir. How are you?
                                                            
                       JAMIE
A little disappointed. I mean
those jaguars ain't doing so well
this year. They miss your scoring
touch. Your mother tells me your
not playing anymore. You got to
much talent to waste kid.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Well sir I appreciate your concern
but let's face it, banking on a
career in the NHL isn't a solid
investment.
                                                            
Shane packs up a bag and caps a drink.
                                                            
                       JAMIE
Well banking on a career flipping
burgers is'nt exactly a solid
investment either.
                                                            
Shane hands him his food through the window.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Well sir I don't flip burgers, I
bag them and It pays the bills.
Have a honkey donkey day.
                                                            
Jamie nods and drives off.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - FRONT DOORS - NIGHT
                                                            
TWO SHOT of RENY MARCHWOOD, late 20's (long greasy hair and
a strong hint of insanity in his eyes) has his arms around a
young lady, SOPHIA, about 15 years old.
                                                            
                       RENY
      (aggressively)
So let me get this straight god
damn it. You're not going to give
me your number?
                                                            
                       SOPHIA
      (walking away)
I'm only 15 years old, and you're
like, 30.
                                                            

26.

Reny grabs her by the arm and guides her back in front of
him.
                                                            
                       RENY
26 actually, Now Give me 15 cents.
                                                            
Sophia opens her purse and hands him some change. Reny is
focused on something in front of him.

LONG SHOT of 3 people getting out of a car. One by one they
pile out and form a straight line. Each of them are wearing
T-shirts representing a different 80's television cartoon.

RAINBOW, late teens wearing a Rainbow Bright T-Shirt, JIMMY
EATONS, early 20's, wearing a He-Man shirt and BOBBY OWENS
mid 20's wearing a Thunder Cats T-Shirt (looks like Drew
Carey).
                                                            
BACK TO TWO SHOT of Sophia scurrying past Reny as he stares
at the large group of 80's nerds.
                                                            
                       RENY
FOR WHAT?
                                                            
WIDE SHOT: Bobby leads the way toward the door and tries to
walk by Reny.

Reny stops him in his tracks and looks at his shirt.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Bobby's thundercats T-shirt.
                                                            
BACK TO WIDE SHOT.
                                                            
                       RENY
      (to Bobby)
Thundercats. What the fuck is
Thundercats?
                                                            
Bobby again attempts to walk past him and Reny grabs him by
the shirt and guides him back.
                                                            
                       RENY
Actually give me 15 cents.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Jimmy.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Who do you think you are?
                                                            
BACK TO WIDE SHOT Reny gets in Jimmy's face as he cowers
backward still holding on to Bobby's shirt.
                                                            

27.

                       BOBBY
This is an vintage thundercats
shirt, itís a limited edition
collectible and I would appreciate
it if you didn't man handle it
thank you.
                                                            
Reny scrunches it up a little bit and pushes him.
                                                            
                       RENY
Vintage, for what! Give me 15
cents or Iíll wipe my face on it.
And thatís goes for all of you
faggots.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Rainbow Brite.
                                                            
                       RAINBOW
      (to Reny)
Leave him alone.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Reny.
                                                            
                       RENY
Hey Rainbow Brite. Shut the fuck
up Jesus Christ god damn it and
give me the fucking change.
                                                            
BACK TO WIDE SHOT as They all pull their wallets out and
hand him the change.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
      (O.S.)
That's my dinner money
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DINING AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of a DRUNK CUSTOMER with his head tucked between
his arms, passed out on one of the tables, drool hanging
from his mouth.
                                                            
TWO SHOT of Roee and Shane sitting on the counter staring at
him.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Should we say something to him?
                                                            
Roee taking a large bite of his burger.
                                                            
MEDIUM SHOT of Drunk Customer.
                                                            

28.

                       ROEE (O.S.)
      (chewing)
What is there to say? Maybe we
should feed him.
                                                            
BACK TO TWO SHOT of Shane and Roee looking toward the front
doors.

MEDIUM SHOT of the doors where Clive is standing with broom
in hand, and a depressed expression on his face. Jimmy walks
in with a ghetto blaster. He plays the chipmunks theme
music as Bobby and Rainbow follow.

WIDE SHOT of Shane and Roee leaning back in disgust.
Justin walks up behind them with an annoyed look on his
face.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
What the fuck is this? Who the
fuck are these guys?
                                                            
Terrance shuffles in behind Justin who is visibly disgusted
by his shuffling.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Ooooh they are the nineteen
eighty's retro discussionary
society. They book a party today.
I tell you oooohh.
                                                            
                       ROEE
      (snacking on meat
       blocks)
Biggest nerd convention ever.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Yo honestly why do I always get
stuck with these freaks?. Stupid
dungeon and dragons clique.
                                                            
Dante walks over, Jimmy acknowledges him.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Bobby Owens walking up to the counter as Jimmy
and Rainbow head off to the seats in the far left corner.
                                                            
                       BOBBY
Hey Dante I'd like to order 20
junior donker deluxe sandwiches
with cheese and bacon, hold the
shredded Colly flower, and instead
put a plethora of pickled onions.
                                                            
BACK TO TWO SHOT of Roee and Shane.
                                                            

29.

                       ROEE
      (to Bobby)
Anything for your friends....Miss
Piggy?
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Dante.
                                                            
                       DANTE
      (with obvious
       excitement)
Yeah don't worry bro, I already
pre-made them like 20 minutes ago,
so it's smooth sailing.
                                                            
NEW WIDE SHOT of everyone as Bobby and Dante exchange a nerd
like giggle complete with snorting. Justin looks on in
obvious disgust.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
Yo Dante you know these guys?
                                                            
                       DANTE
      (buckling)
I, I dunno, I just kinda see em
around every once in a while. It's
no big deal.
                                                            
LONG SHOT of Jimmy standing up.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
      (yelling)
Hey Dante your mom says we can all
go over for dinner and eat her
world famous rigatoni, and we can
have our meeting too, is that
still cool?
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Shane.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Yo Dante, what's that shit on your
face?
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Dante frantically touching his face.
                                                            
                       DANTE
What? What is it?
                                                            
BACK TO TIGHT SHOT of Shane.
                                                            
                       SHANE
I dunno, that shine, that glitter.
What the fuck is that?
                                                            

30.

BACK TO WIDE SHOT of employees only.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
Yo Dante what did I tell you? WASH
IT UP!!!
                                                            
                       DANTE
B-but...
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
B-but nothing you fucking chooch,
just clean up your act, and your
face while you're at it.
                                                            
Drive thru beeps and HDBJ theme begins to play in Shane's
headset, Shane sighs and pulls the headset away with obvious
distaste for the music. He walks out of the shot.

                                                            
Terrance walks off to the dining room. Justin and Roee share
a mutual look of dismay.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
I dunno how many times I gotta
tell this guy. Can you believe
this guy told me he gets tingles?
                                                            
Roee shakes his head while eating another fry.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DRIVE THRU AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
The HDBJ theme music is playing and is then over powered by
the song SABOTAGE.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Shane pulling his ear piece away from his
head. The music stops and he puts it back on.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Honkey Donkey what's your order?
                                                            
                       TREVOR (O.S.)
      (Russian accent)
Yes hello, I'm new to country and
I want to know if you put
performance enhancers in da
blocked meat?
                                                            
                       SHANE
I'm sorry. What was that?
                                                            

31.

                       TREVOR (O.S.)
      (Russian accent)
You know things like DXT-27 or the
prospatone 8. It is reason I moved
from Moscow, to many side effects.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Ya sorry, hang on one second.
                                                            
Shane removes his headset and walks away.
                                                            
 
EXT. HDBJ - DRIVE THRU SPEAKER - CONTINUOUS - NIGHT
                                                            
MEDIUM SHOT from the perspective of the menu board of the
entire Morbio crew laughing inside the car. Trevor's head is
hanging out the window almost pressed against the speaker.
                                                            
                       SULLI
Yo what the fuck is he doing?
Yo yo yo keep going, keep doing
it, keep fucking with him.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DISH AND PREP AREA - CONTINUOUS - NIGHT
                                                            
DOLLY shot as Shane walks into the through the restaurant to
the back.

TWO SHOT of Sharon and Sandy talking by the sink and they
stop when they see Shane stop in front of a pile of boxes.

MEDIUM SHOT of Shane stomping the living shit out of the
boxes for a span of 20 seconds. He stops, fixes his shirt,
and looks at Sandy and Sharon.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (nodding)
Ladies.
                                                            
Shane walks away.

BACK TO TWO SHOT of Sharon and Sandy with their jaws wide
open.
                                                            
 
EXT. HDBJ - DRIVE THRU SPEAKER - CONTINUOUS - NIGHT
                                                            
CLOSE UP from the perspective of the speaker Trevor's face
pressed up against it.
                                                            

32.

                       TREVOR
      (Russian accent)
Hellooooo. I'm waiting.
                                                            
Everyone trying to contain their laughter.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DRIVE THRU AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Shane adjusting his headset.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (a sense of
       calmness)
Yes sir, may I help you?
                                                            
                       TREVOR (O.S.)
      (Russian accent)
Yes, OK, today it will be the
blocked meat for me and a side of
the turkey milk. Is that whole or
skim?
                                                            
Shane's eyes squinting with his hand buried over his face.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Are you serious? What the fuck are
you talking about?
                                                            
                       TREVOR (O.S.)
      (Russian accent)
Well the whole is full fat and
skim is little fat. Which fat is
that?
                                                            
                       SHANE
Did you say fucking turkey milk?
What the fuck is that?
                                                            
                       TREVOR (O.S.)
      (Russian accent)
OK sir, I don't like your lack of
product knowledge. Maybe we move
to something a little more your
speed. What is on special today?
                                                            
Shane pretends to look at the specials list and instead
throws it on the ground.

CLOSE UP of Shane's foot kicking it away.
                                                            

33.

                       SHANE
      (sarcastic)
Well actually sir, being that
you're new to the country, maybe
you should try combo number nine.
There's a really fun aspect to it.
You get to spin our special
wheel of indecision and, it'll
choose your combo for you. What do
you say? Are you feeling lucky on
this fine Tuesday afternoon?
                                                            
                       TREVOR (O.S.)
      (Russian accent)
What is this pot luck Tuesday?
This system is flawed. You
Canadians need Russian efficiency.
This is why we blow your balls at
the hockey.
                                                            
Shane's face becomes enraged.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (to himself)
Oh no he didn't just say that shit
to me.
      (to Trevor)
Hang on one minute sir. I think
I'm going to personally deliver
your meal today.
                                                            
Shane casually takes of his headset, holds it behind his
head for a moment, and drops it.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of the headset lying on the ground.
                                                            
 
EXT. HDBJ - DRIVE THRU SPEAKER - CONTINUOUS - NIGHT
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of the whole MORBIO crew laughing in the car.
                                                            
                       SULLI
Yo, what do you think he's doing?
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Trevor.
                                                            
                       TREVOR
      (regular voice)
Well if I know Shane, and I think
I do, he's probably beating the
shit out of some boxes in the back
right about now.
                                                            

34.

BACK TO WIDE SHOT as Court leans up and looks at Trevor.
                                                            
                       COURT
Yo dude, this guy wouldn't throw
anything at my moms car would he?
                                                            
                       MURPHY
Court don't worry about it. What's
he going to do throw a french fry?
Relax goi relax, just roll with it
goi.(laughs)
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Brent.
                                                            
                       BRENT
Guys, he's not going to do
anything. You always think the
worst of everyone. Everyone just
calm down.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Sulli.
                                                            
                       SULLI
      (enjoying the
       moment)
No dude he's totally gonna fuck up
your car man. He sounded pissed.
                                                            
BACK TO CLOSE UP of Court with an extremely nervous look on
his face.
                                                            
                       COURT
Maybe we should just drive away.
                                                            
BACK TO WIDE SHOT.
                                                            
                       TREVOR
Court relax man, he's not gonna do
shit. Let's just see what happens.
                                                            
They all look out their respective windows as if they're
waiting for something to happen.
                                                            
LONG SHOT of the back of the restaurant.

NEW WIDE SHOT of MORBIO waiting in anticipation.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - CREW ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Shane placing a leafs jersey on.

CLOSE UP of Shane's arm reaching for a hockey stick and

35.

grasping it tightly.

MEDIUM SHOT of Shane grabbing a burger from Roee's hand as
he was just about to take a bite.
                                                            
                       ROEE
Rudest.
                                                            
Shane storms out of the crew room.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - MANAGEMENT OFFICE - NIGHT
                                                            
MEDIUM SHOT behind Justin as we see him sitting in his chair
with his feet up on the desk watching a hockey game.
                                                            
                       COMMENTATOR (O.S.)
Leafs setting up for the power
play.
                                                            
 
EXT. HDBJ - BACK DOOR - NIGHT
                                                            
MEDIUM SHOT of The back door flying open. Shane walks
outside and places a burger on the ground in front of him.
He then winds up for a slap shot.
                                                            
WIDE SHOT of MORBIO waiting in anticipation.

TIGHT SHOT of a burger smashing against the back window
startling Court.
                                                            
CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - MANAGEMENT OFFICE - NIGHT
                                                            
The hockey game on TELEVISION.
                                                            
                       COMMENTATOR (O.S.)
Oh! He had the goalie beat and ran
one off the cross bar
                                                            
 
EXT. CAR - NIGHT
                                                            
                       COURT
We are under fire, I repeat we are
under fire.
                                                            
 

36.

EXT. HDBJ - BACK DOOR - NIGHT
                                                            
Roee steps outside with his hockey stick. He tosses 2
burgers on the ground. He passes Shane the first burger in
slow motion.
                                                            
E.C.U. of a hamburger on the ground.
                                                            
                       ROEE
      (in slow motion)
One time that!
                                                            
Shane drills the burger and it smashes against the same
window.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - MANAGEMENT OFFICE - NIGHT
                                                            
BACK TO hockey game on Television.
                                                            
                       COMMENTATOR (O.S.)
McCabe, shot, scores!Holy
Mackinaw. God bless you boys. What
a thriller.
                                                            
 
EXT. HDBJ - BACK DOOR - NIGHT
                                                            
Shane winding up for another shot.
                                                            
 
EXT. CAR - NIGHT
                                                            
MEDIUM SHOT of Morbio in the car.
                                                            
                       SULLI
Holy shit man he's totally pelting
your moms car with hamburgers
dude.
                                                            
                       MURPHY
Yo Court I'm hungry like it's
going out of style. Undo your
window and see if you can catch
one of those burgers?
                                                            
                       COURT
      (yelling at Murphy)
What the hell are you talking
about, this is a disaster.
      (to Trevor)
Peel out.
                                                            
 

37.

INT. HDBJ - MANAGEMENT OFFICE - NIGHT
                                                            
BACK TO: game on TELEVISION.
                                                            
                       COMMENTATOR (O.S.)
5 seconds left. Ottawa with a
chance to tie. Alfreddson shot....
                                                            
 
EXT. HDBJ - BACK DOOR - NIGHT
                                                            
MORBIO'S car driving away.
                                                            
Roee setups Shane up for another one timer. Shane drills it
with full force.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - SIDE OF RESTAURANT - NIGHT
                                                            
E.C.U. of a hand snagging the burger out of mid air.
                                                            
                       COMMENTATOR (O.S.)
Belfour shuts the door and the
leafs win the game.God bless you
boys what an effort.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Reny standing against the wall unwrapping the
burger.
                                                            
                       RENY
Now that's what I call fast food
god damn it.
                                                            
Reny takes a bite of the Burger and looks up in front of
him. He looks up at someone.
                                                            
                       RENY (CONT'D)
What? You want a bite or
something?
                                                            
WIDE SHOT of an elderly woman nodding her head no.
                                                            
                       RENY (CONT'D)
Than get the fuck outta here.
                                                            
She starts to walk away.
                                                            
Back to TIGHT SHOT of Reny.
                                                            
                       RENY (CONT'D)
No wait a second. Give me 15
cents.
                                                            
 

38.

INT. HDBJ - DISH AND PREP AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
Split screen: Screen A: Two hockey teams pounding gloves as
they skate past one another.

Screen B: TWO SHOT of Roee and Shane tapping fists
repeatedly.
                                                            
                       ROEE AND SHANE
Good game, good game, good game,
good game, good game.
                                                            
Back to single screen of Roee and Shane.

They tap each other on the heads, and then bump heads.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DINING AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
WIDE SHOT of CLIVE SAUNDERS, creepy young teenage boy,
standing at the front doors holding a broom.
                                                            
Two young men, VETO and REGGIE walk into the restaurant.

The HDBJ theme music begins to play as confetti falls from
above the doors.

Clive blows his horn.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of The drunk customer as he is once again
startled for a moment. He wipes the drool from his face and
then buries his face between his arms.
                                                            
BACK TO WIDE SHOT as Clive blows the horn again.
                                                            
                       CLIVE
Welcome to the HONKEY donkey
burger jamboree, where every day
is a honkey donkey day.
                                                            
They look at him with passionate disgust and walk by.

Clive begins sweeping the confetti.
                                                            
DOLLY SHOT as Reggi and Veto walk up to the corner where the
N.E.R.D.S. members are sitting. Bobby approaches them.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Bobby.
                                                            
                       BOBBY
      (to Veto and
       Reggie)
Password please.
                                                            

39.

CLOSE UP of Veto.
                                                            
                       VETO
What?
                                                            
BACK TO TIGHT SHOT of Bobby.
                                                            
                       BOBBY
Before I allow thee to enter, thou
must speak the password, in the
language of Lionel, in the fist
season of the Thundercats saga.
Use episode 19, scene 8, line 14
as a reference.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Reggi.
                                                            
                       REGGI
OK buddy, so I see you've accepted
your defeat in life, and I'm gonna
move on.
                                                            
BACK TO TIGHT SHOT of Bobby.
                                                            
                       BOBBY
I'm sorry, that is an incorrect
response.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Reggi and Veto as they are taken aback.
                                                            
                       ROEE (O.S.)
      (yelling)
Stop scaring the customers one
time.
                                                            
                       REGGI
      (shaking his head)
What a sorry display my friend,
you've failed as a human being
                                                            
WIDE SHOT as Reggi and Veto walk toward the front counter as
Bobby watches them pass.
                                                            
MEDIUM SHOT of Reggi and Veto as they approach the counter,
and begins to look at the menu board with obvious confusion
                                                            
                       REGGI
So let me get this straight, I'm
under the impression that you are
in the business of serving donkey
meat. Am i correct in my
assessment?
                                                            

40.

E.C.U of Sharon's mouth.
                                                            
                       SHARON
      (holding her lip)
SLLLLL no that's just the gimmick
                                                            
BACK TO MEDIUM SHOT of Reggi and Veto.
                                                            
                       REGGI
I see. Well I don't know what your
manager has told you in your staff
meetings, but I don't believe
displaying your STD is an
efficient way of selling your
products. Can I speak to the
manager on duty?
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Sharon.
                                                            
                       SHARON
SLLLLL umm yeah one second.
SLLLLL....TERRANCE, SOMEONE WANTS
TO TALK TO YOU!!!
                                                            
DOLLY SHOT of Terrance's tiny legs shuffling into the front
area. The camera pulls up to a TIGHT SHOT of Terrance's
stupid face.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
      (to Sandy)
Sandy...Burger down.
      (to Reggi and Veto)
Ooh... hello, is there a problem
here?
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Veto.
                                                            
                       VETO
Obviously guy. What are YOU
saying?
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Reggi.
                                                            
                       REGGI
What my associate is trying to
say, is that we are not
comfortable with the display of
obvious Venereal diseases
decimating the staff of your
eatery. Now I'm sorry to
inconvenience you but I'm going to
need to ensure that there are no
other employees like Ms.... Sharon
Diseases over here involved in the
            (MORE)

41.

                       REGGI (cont'd)
food making process. So I'm going
to need you to line em up for my
inspection please. It's a hygiene
thing, I'm sure you don't
understand.
                                                            
BACK TO TIGHT SHOT.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Oh sir i can assure you the other
employees are quite clean I-
                                                            
TWO SHOT of Reggi and Veto.
                                                            
                       REGGI
      (cutting him off)
Oh oh oh. Well I see exceptional
customer service is not among your
skill set sir, perhaps we will
just venture to another eatery I
hear The Sanford Steakhouse has a
delightful lunch menu.
                                                            
BACK TO TIGHT SHOT of Terrance.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
      (flustered)
No no sir that will not be
necessary, I call them for you...
Sandy, Shane, Dante, Roee please
come for me.
                                                            
LONG SHOT of Sandy walking into the front.
                                                            
BACK TO TWO SHOT of Reggi and Veto.
                                                            
                       REGGI
      (Inspecting Sandy)
OK, she seems to be clean.
                                                            
                       VETO
Nice titty's too guy.
                                                            
                       REGGI
A very astute observation. NEXT!!
                                                            
WIDE SHOT of Roee, Shane, and Dante approaching the front
counter.

BACK TO TWO SHOT of Reggi and Veto. They are once again
taken a-back.
                                                            

42.

CLOSE UP of Dante.
                                                            
                       REGGI
OK, with all due respect, if your
employees can't even complete a
simple task like washing their
face, what reason do I have to
believe that this maggot is
capable of cleansing his hands?
                                                            
                       VETO
So true goi.
                                                            
BACK TO WIDE SHOT of them behind the counter. Justin runs
out in a panic
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
I'm sorry gentlemen, this grease
ball's been a problem since day
one, Rest assured, he will be
dealt with in a most discrete and
timely fashion. Yo Dante that's
two donkey's ass's for you.
                                                            
QUICK SHOT of Justin reaching into a box and pulling out two
laminated ass cut outs.

CLOSE UP of his hand slamming them onto Dante's head.
                                                            
BACK TO WIDE SHOT.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
GO WASH UP!!!
                                                            
                       DANTE
      (in pain)
Ow, I think you popped one.
                                                            
Dante runs off in shame.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Justin.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
Again gentlemen I apologize, allow
me to personally make you both a
complimentary combination for your
inconvenience.
                                                            
BACK TO TWO SHOT of Reggie and Veto.
                                                            
                       VETO
Fuck that shit goi, you're tainted
now.
                                                            

43.

                       REGGI
Yes yes, I'm going to have to
agree with my associate, we're
simply not comfortable with the
fact that you've made tactile
contact with that abomination's
visage. So, I'm gonna have to
decline your present offer, and
give you fair warning that I will
be pursuing legal action for the
mental duress caused... By the
way, here's my card, if any of you
would like to purchase a quality
auto, at a quality price, feel
free to contact myself or my
associate.
                                                            
BACK TO WIDE SHOT of everyone staring at them.
                                                            
DOLLY SHOT from behind Reggi as they walk to the front
doors.
                                                            
                       REGGI
See Veto, some people just can't
seem to grasp the complexities of
the business world.
                                                            
The pair approach Clive who is SEEN between there heads.
He's sweeping a fresh load of confetti and balloons, and has
an extreme look of despair on his face.
                                                            
NEW TWO SHOT of Reggi and Veto.
                                                            
                       REGGI
My man, my man, if you're ever in
the market for a real job, that
leaves you with some semblance
dignity, feel free to contact
myself or my associate at the
number below.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Reggi's hand slipping Clive a business card.
                                                            
CLIVE'S P.O.V. of Reggi and Veto.
                                                            
                       REGGI
Oh and by the way, there were over
200 reported suicides in Ontario
last year, don't be a statistic
                                                            

44.

Reggi and Veto leave the restaurant as Clive looks on with
disdain.

WIDE SHOT of Clive as he resumes sweeping up the confetti.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DINING AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
WIDE SHOT of The N.E.R.D.S. members sitting at the tables.
Bobby gets up and they all go silent.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Bobby Owens.
                                                            
                       BOBBY
      (clearing his
       throat)
OK Rainbow Brite your assignment
for the week, was to come up with
a choreographed dance with 1 other
N.E.R.D.S. member relating to an
80's cartoon.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT as one of the nerds, holding the boom box, hits
the play button and unleashes the GUMMY BEARS intro music.

MEDIUM SHOT of the nerds as they breakout in a freakish
dance routine led by Rainbow Brite. This goes on for about a
minute. They both stop in an awkward pose.

WIDE SHOT of Dante, holding a tray full of hamburgers, comes
from the back, and is clapping his hand against his neck. He
then points directly at Rainbow and smiles. A random
customer walks by and knocks the tray from his hands. He
gets in Dante's face.
                                                            
                       RANDOM CUSTOMER
      (yelling)
You my friend, are a loser.
                                                            
The customer walks away.

MEDIUM SHOT of Bobby as he drops to the ground and starts
picking up the burgers.

NEW WIDE SHOT of Dante running up to Rainbow, he goes in for
a hug, but the awkwardness of the attempt makes him pull
back.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Dante.
                                                            
                       DANTE
Wow Rainbow, that was
breathtaking. You got moves.
                                                            

45.

CLOSE UP of Rainbow.
                                                            
                       RAINBOW
      (blushing)
You really think so Dante? Cause I
mean it was your speech last week
on why G.I. Joe was better than
transformers, that inspired my
routine. It really touched me in a
way that I've never been touched
before.
                                                            
                       ROEE (O.S.)
      (from a distance)
What do you mean like sexually?
                                                            
TWO SHOT of Dante as he grabs Rainbow's hand and looks deep
into her eyes.
                                                            
                       DANTE
Don't listen to him Rainbow. Your
performance has touched me in a
place where Ive never been
touched.
                                                            
                       ROEE (O.S.)
      (from a distance.)
I guess that would be your penis?
                                                            
BACK TO TWO SHOT as Bobby pops up right in between them and
shows Dante the tray.
                                                            
                       BOBBY
      (to Dante)
I thought you had 20 burgers here.
I only counted 17.
                                                            
                       DANTE
I could have sworn there were 20.
                                                            
CAMERA FOLLOWS Bobby as he guides them both toward their
seats.

Dante and Rainbow sit beside one another.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Bobby standing up addressing the N.E.R.D.S.
                                                            
                       BOBBY
      (addressing the
       group)
Alright guys, let's get to the
main topic of the day. Who has the
better sword, He-Man from the
masters of the universe cartoon?
            (MORE)

46.

                       BOBBY (cont'd)
Or Lionel from the Thundercats
cartoon?
                                                            
CUT TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. HDBJ - FRONT DOOR - NIGHT
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Reny standing in front of the restaurant
doors. He's smoking a cigarette, and wearing a drive thru
headset.

TIGHT SHOT of an underage girl approaching him.
                                                            
                       UNDERAGER
Do you work here or something?
                                                            
BACK TO TIGHT SHOT of Reny.
                                                            
                       RENY
Shh. I'm trying to hear the order
god damn it.
                                                            
BACK TO TIGHT SHOT of Underage girl.
                                                            
                       UNDERAGER
Well, do you think I could use the
washroom here? Or do I have to
like buy something?
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Reny as he quickly rips the headset from his
ears.
                                                            
                       RENY
I think we could work something
out.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of The underage girl smiling at Reny.

LONG SHOT of the two walking into the restaurant.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - WASHROOMS - NIGHT
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Reny pulling up his pants, as he admires
himself in the mirror.

MEDIUM SHOT of The underage girl fixing her pants, watching
Reny fix his hair.
                                                            
                       UNDERAGER
So I'm assuming that's all?
                                                            

47.

TWO SHOT of Reny and the underage girl from the perspective
of the mirror as she stands beside him fixing her make-up.
                                                            
                       RENY
      (brushing his hair)
That's it. They call me Daddy one
timer. Shoot, pass, give it to her
in the ass. FUCK! Actually I'm
going to need 15 cents.
                                                            
                       UNDERAGER
Are you serious? You actually
expect me to pay for that pathetic
excuse for a lay? You're lucky I
don't have my parents sue you for
statutory rape.
                                                            
Reny brushing his goatee with a small comb.
                                                            
                       RENY
That's right god damn it. Daddy's
gotta eat.
                                                            
The underage girl reaches in her wallet and whips some
change at Reny.
                                                            
                       UNDERAGER
I actually pity you.
                                                            
She storms out of the washroom.
                                                            
                       RENY
      (smelling his
       fingers)
You never had it so good.
                                                            
He takes one last look in the mirror, and then struts toward
the doors.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DISH AND PREP AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
Sandy is tying up a couple of garbage bags near the back
door.

Shane notices and grabs one of the bags.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Need some help?
                                                            
                       SANDY
      (hesitant)
Sure.
                                                            
 

48.

EXT. HDBJ - BACK DOOR - NIGHT
                                                            
Shane tosses one of the bags into the garbage.

Sandy struggles to lift her bag and Shane puts his hand over
her hand, grabbing the bag.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Let me help you with that.
                                                            
Shane goes to lift the bag and drops it.

Sandy grabs one side of the bag and Shane grasps the other.
They both lift the bag and struggle, finally getting it in
the garbage.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (smiling)
Is there a dead body in there or
something?
                                                            
                       SANDY
      (smiling)
Let me ask you something Shane.
When we were in high school, did
you ever picture yourself in your
mid twenties serving burgers?
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (sarcastically)
Of course. I mean were living the
dream aren't we?
                                                            
                       SANDY
Everything doesn't have to be a
joke. You can be serious once and
a while.
                                                            
                       SHANE
You seriously want to know where I
saw myself being at this time in
my life?
                                                            
                       SANDY
Yes. I seriously do.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Playing hockey, getting a
scholarship, being with...
                                                            
Terrance walks into the garbage room.

Sandy and Shane giving Terrance a dirty look.
                                                            

49.

                       TERRANCE
      (handing her a pen
       and paper)
Sandy, I need you to do the
inventory for me.
                                                            
Sandy rips the pen and paper from his hand and storms past
him.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (to Terrance)
Terrance, let me asking you
something? What is it you do here
exactly?
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Oh. Lots of work for me today.
                                                            
                       SHANE
What does that even mean? Did you
even here my question?
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Yes I know. Very time consuming
these managerial duties are for
me.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (baffled)
I see.
                                                            
Terrance pulls out a knife and starts scrapping gum off the
wall.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (patting Terrance
       on the shoulder)
Good job Terrance. I'm sure one
day Kip Kipson will promote you
for all the hard work you do. I
mean if you don't take that gum
off, who will? Your a champ
Terrance. Don't let anyone tell
you differently.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
      (looking at Shane)
This is very true.
                                                            
There is a long awkward pause. Terrance gets back to
scraping and Shane spits his gum. It lands on Terrance's
scraper. He pulls out another scraper from his utility belt
and begins scraping his scrapper.
                                                            
 

50.

INT. DINING AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
Sharon is wiping down some tables near the N.E.R.D.S.
members. She looks over at Bobby and notices his hand up.
She ignores him.
                                                            
                       BOBBY
Excuse me ma'am.
                                                            
                       SHARON
      (approaching Bobby)
Yes.
                                                            
                       BOBBY
I don't usually complain, in fact
I never do. But though my first 3
donker junior deluxe burgers were
quite tasty, this one is making my
throat numb. Can you please do
something about this?
                                                            
                       SHARON
Whats your name?
                                                            
                       BOBBY
      (lick and slicking)
My name is Bobby Owens. But my
lady friends call me B.O.
                                                            
                       RAINBOW
No we don't.
                                                            
Bobby turns and hisses at Rainbow.
                                                            
                       SHARON
      (calmly)
Well gee Bobby that's wonderful.
Anyways listen Bobby if you'd like
I can do something about that.
      (angry)
I can snap your fucking jaw and
fold your face down your throat.
Maybe that will taste better.
                                                            
All the N.E.R.D.S. members frozen if fear.
                                                            
Sharon's phone RINGS.
                                                            
                       SHARON
      (answering
       politely)
Hey David...Of course were still
on for tonight. I'm working, let
me call you on my break K? Bye.
            (MORE)

51.

                       SHARON (cont'd)
      (calmly to Bobby)
I'm sure you burgers fine. It's
probably just one of your many
birth defects. Have a Honkey
Donkey Day.
                                                            
Sharon casually walks away as the N.E.R.D.S. members watch.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DRIVE THRU AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
WIDE SHOT of Shane wiping the counter. Roee is sipping a
milkshake beside him.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Don't you every feel like doing
anything?
                                                            
                       ROEE
What do you mean by anything?
                                                            
                       SHANE
I mean ANYTHING man. You don't do
anything.
                                                            
                       ROEE
We need to do something about
these 80's fanatics one time.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Don't you want to do anything with
your life though?
                                                            
                       ROEE
      (high pitched.)
No!
      (regular voice)
Why, do you?
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (high pitched.)
Ya! I can't deal with this shit
anymore.
                                                            
                       ROEE
      (high pitched)
So then get the fuck out of here
then.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (high pitched)
And what am I supposed to do?
                                                            

52.

                       ROEE
      (high pitched)
Anything but this.
                                                            
They both share a brief laugh.
                                                            
                       SHANE
I don't know how you do it man.
                                                            
                       ROEE
Do what?
                                                            
                       SHANE
Live so care free.
                                                            
                       ROEE
I don't know how you don't.
                                                            
Shane nods his head in agreement. He grabs some coupons off
the counter.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT following Shane walking toward his till as he
places the coupons inside.

BACK TO WIDE SHOT as Terrance comes out from the kitchen and
approaches him.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Ooh. Have you seen Roee?
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (looking behind
       him)
Ya he's...
                                                            
Shane's P.O.V. as he scans the entire front area and Roee is
nowhere to be found.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
If you see him tell him, to
remember to punch out for his
breaks. Anyway, you take this till
and replace it with yours. We have
to secure the profits.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of There hands as they exchange cash trays.

TIGHT SHOT of Terrance shuffling to the back.

NEW MEDIUM SHOT of Shane placing the new tray into the till.
He is startled when he sees Roee's large head through the
window. He opens the window.

53.


CLOSE UP of Roee with a big grin on his face. He takes a
large drag of his cigarette, and blows in into the window.

CLOSE UP of Shane coughing, and starts trying to clear the
smoke by waving his hands.
                                                            
E.C.U. of Roee's hand passing Shane the cigarette.
                                                            
                       ROEE (O.S.)
      (handing Shane the
       cigarette)
Zeen. Deal with a drag.
                                                            
BACK TO MEDIUM SHOT as Shane grabs the cigarette, and takes
a quick look around. He takes a couple of quick drags.
                                                            
WIDE SHOT of Angry Lady standing at the counter.
                                                            
                       ANGRY LADY (O.S.)
      (yelling)
Excuse me. Hello.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT as Shane is in the middle of taking a drag and
starts to choke on the cigarette. He goes to hand it to
Roee.

CLOSE UP of drive thru window where Roee is no longer
standing.

BACK TO TIGHT SHOT of Shane as he quickly puts the cigarette
out in a cup of coke that's sitting in the corner.

NEW WIDE SHOT of Shane as he runs to the front with smoke
still coming out of his mouth.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Yes mam, what can I do for you?
                                                            
E.C.U. of Angry lady's hand smashing a burger on the
counter.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Shane looking on in disbelief.
                                                            
TWO SHOT of Angry Lady, late 20's (wearing glasses) with a
dorky look on her face. She has a young boy about 5 years
old attached to her left hand. He is staring at the ground.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Shane looking at the child.

CLOSE UP of the child with a sad expression on his face.

54.


CLOSE UP of Shane then looking up at the Angry lady.
                                                            
NEW CLOSE UP of Angry lady staring at Shane.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Shane.
                                                            
WE CUT BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN CLOSE UPS.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Spit it out.
                                                            
                       ANGRY LADY
      (unwrapping the
       burger)
I want you to inspect this
sandwich, and tell me what's wrong
with it.
                                                            
Shane examining the burger.

E.C.U. of the hamburger.
                                                            
                       ANGRY LADY (CONT'D)
Well, tell me what's wrong with
it.
                                                            
                       SHANE
I have no idea.
                                                            
                       ANGRY LADY
That's what is wrong with you
people. You guys don't have a
clue. And you wonder why this
place is going to go out of
business.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Did I take your order? No! Did I
make your order? No. Did I have
anything to do with the making of
this sandwich, or the contents of
which you are so displeased over?
                                                            
                       ANGRY LADY
No.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Then if you and your abused child
are seeking closure in this
matter, I suggest speaking with
the manager on duty, and let him
free you of your frustration and
maybe even your guilt, for the day
            (MORE)

55.

                       SHANE (cont'd)
to day beatings your child
receives at the hands of you and
your unfit husband.
                                                            
Her jaw drops. She stares at Shane as if in utter shock and
awe.

BACK TO WIDE SHOT of Shane smiling at her.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (calling to the
       back)
Terrance. There's a customer here
that wants to dump her hand bag
full of complaints on your head,
and wipe her fat ass full of
problems with your face. You might
want to check her burger for
bruises cause if she treats her
son the way I suspect she does
then the only thing wrong with her
hamburger, is that "it fell down
the stairs". I wonder who's fault
that is.
                                                            
Shane walks away, as Terrance hustles around the corner.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Terrance.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Ooh. Hi, how may I help you today?
                                                            
WIDE SHOT as The Angry lady walks back over to her table.

DOLLY SHOT of them walking as they pass by the drunk
customer.

TIGHT SHOT of Drunk customer sleeping on the table.
                                                            
                       YOUNG CHILD (O.S.)
      (pointing at the
       drunk man)
Mommy, what's wrong with the man?
                                                            
NEW CLOSE UP of Angry lady.
                                                            
                       ANGRY LADY
Just look at the floor like mommy
asked you to do.
                                                            
NEW MEDIUM SHOT as the young child sits down and stares at
the ground. Angry lady sits across from him.
                                                            
 

56.

INT. HDBJ - DISH/PREP AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
MEDIUM SHOT of Sharon and Sandy washing dishes in the back.
                                                            
WE CUT between CLOSE UP's of Sandy and Sharon.
                                                            
                       SANDY
So are you still going on that
date tonight?
                                                            
                       SHARON
If I can some how get rid of this
canker. It's killing me. So whats
up with you and Shane?
                                                            
                       SANDY
Same thing that's always up. His
dick and my patience. God, it
seems like such a waste of time
you know? No matter what anyone
says, he's just so convinced that
his mother can't live without him.
It's like an episode of Dawson's
Creek or something. Dawson took
care of his mother when his father
died. Now that I think about it,
it's kind of sweet.
                                                            
                       SHARON
God, don't even compare him to
Dawson. I say he's more like
Brandon from 90210. Dawson was gay
and so was the creek.
                                                            
                       SANDY
You actually believe that 90210
was better than Dawson's Creek?
Enlighten me. Was it because they
solved all their problems in a
50's style diner called the Peach
Pit?
                                                            
                       SHARON
At least you don't need to carry
around a thesaurus to understand
every line in the show. I hate
that bitch Joey, she acts like
she's a fucking philosophy major.
Silent birth my ass, she couldn't
keep her mouth shut if Tom fell
off the couch and his dick landed
in her throat.
                                                            

57.

                       SANDY
Really? And 90210 was such a great
show. You had Luke Perry, the only
teenager with Crow's feet and a
receding hair line. Tori spelling
looks like a fucking alien that
got kicked in the head by a
donkey. Then there is that crazy
bitch Shannon Doherty. Her
husband's dick is so far down
Paris Hilton's throat, that simple
life 2 is still paying it
royalties.
                                                            
WIDE SHOT as Justin steps in between the ladies.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
Ladies ladies, I couldn't help but
over hear, you know what I mean?
And let me just say, you guys both
got it wrong. You guys gotta step
into the new era. Step into the
O.C. Ryan, Cowen, Summer,
Marissa, this is where it's at
now. Honestly, your conversation's
like Latin. A dead language. You
know what I mean?
                                                            
Terrance comes shuffling in. Justin gives him a dirty look
and walks away.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Sandy, you do the prep for me OK?
                                                            
WE CUT between CLOSE UP's of Sandy, Terrance, and Sharon.
                                                            
                       SANDY
      (annoyed)
But the preps been done since this
morning.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Ooh no, I mean tomorrow prep. I
forget to tell you. You open
tomorrow for me.
                                                            
                       SANDY
But I can't I-
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
      (cutting her off)
Ooh Sharon, you do dining room
check for me. Thank you.
                                                            

58.

SANDY'S P.O.V. watching Terrance as he shuffles off carrying
a broom and dust pan, sweeping as he goes.
                                                            
                       SHARON
What the hellaaaa? He never does
anything.
                                                            
Sandy picks up a tomato and a sharp knife.

E.C.U. of a knife cutting fiercely through the tomato.
                                                            
CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ- DRIVE THRU AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
SMASH CUT TO A WIDE SHOT of Shane SCREAMING in agony holding
his eye.
                                                            
                       SHANE
OOOOWWWW!!!
                                                            
Roee walks up eating fries.
                                                            
E.C.U. of Roee popping fries into his mouth.
                                                            
TWO SHOT of Roee and Shane.
                                                            
                       ROEE
Yo man, what are you ssssaying?
                                                            
                       SHANE
I got fucking grease in my eye.
                                                            
                       ROEE
      (offering a fry)
I don't know. You want a fry?
                                                            
                       SHANE
Yo what are you kidding me, those
goddamn things are the reason I'm
blind in the first place man.
                                                            
                       ROEE
Ya! I'm gonna go check on Captain
Morgan. He's scaring away what's
left of our business.
                                                            
Roee makes a vanilla milkshake and heads out to the dining
area.
                                                            
 

59.

EXT. HDBJ FRONT DOORS - NIGHT
                                                            
Justin is standing outside having a cigarette. Shane walks
up beside him and sparks a butt.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
So Shane, you want to play some
hockey this weekend?
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (exhaling)
No.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
So your really done with that shit
eh?
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (inhaling)
Ya.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
What happened to your confidence?
You see Dante, Clive, people like
that, they work here. You don't
here, you don't belong here, your
just here.
                                                            
                       SHANE
What's with everyone today and
this fucking hockey shit. Just
cause I'm born here I have to play
hockey.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
You know people would kill to have
your talent? Did you know Tie Domi
makes 1.25 million dollars? He has
no skill, he doesn't fight anymore
and he plays five minutes a game,
2 minutes of which is spent on his
ass. So let's break this down 80
games times 3 minutes of skating
equals 240 minutes of fucking
sloppy ass figure skating. And he
makes that kind of money. Are you
going to stand there and tell me
that you don't have more to offer
the NHL than Tie FUCKING Domi?
                                                            

60.

                       SHANE
Don't even get me started on Tie
Domi. I get it! He sucks alright.
That ain't gonna get me drafted.
                                                            
Dante steps outside to get some fresh air.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
      (walking inside)
You know? I don't belong here
either. I gotta fucking work with
fucks likes this all day.
                                                            
Just pushes Dante into the window.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN (cont'd)
Fucking loser.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DINING AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
MEDIUM SHOT of Roee as he approaches the drunken customer
and hands him a vanilla milkshake. The customer sits up.
                                                            
Angry lady looking at the window. Roee looks at the window
and sees Dante's face sliding down the glass.
                                                            
                       ROEE
      (to Angry Lady)
Fucking window washers... They get
paid to much. I don't know.
      (to drunk customer)
Deal with that hangover. Let me
take that beer for you. There's
kids around man.
                                                            
                       DRUNK CUSTOMER
Fuck the kids.
                                                            
TWO SHOT of Angry Lady covering her child's ears.
                                                            
E.C.U. of Drunken Customer drooling beer coloured liquid,
heavily from the side of his mouth.

TIGHT SHOT of the young boy as he throws up all over the
floor.

LONG SHOT of Clive, who is mopping the floor, looking over
and gagging.

BACK TO MEDIUM SHOT as Roee hands Drunken Customer the
milkshake.


61.

TIGHT SHOT of Drunken Customer. He raises it in the air
before collapsing back on on to the table, the shaking
falling from his hand.

E.C.U. of the shake spilled on the ground.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Roee.
                                                            
                       ROEE
      (pointing to the
       puke)
Fuck Fuck.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Angry Lady.
                                                            
                       ANGRY LADY
      (to Roee)
Aren't you going to clean this up?
                                                            
                       ROEE
      (walking away)
Not my issue, clean up in aisle 2.
Clive get on that.
                                                            
LONG SHOT of Clive walking toward the vomit, he's about to
clean the vomit when Shane runs up and taps him on the
shoulder.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (grabbing the mop)
Not today.
                                                            
Clive tries to pull the mop back.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Shane.
                                                            
                       SHANE (Cont'd)
      (to Clive)
Hey..HEY, look at me. You alright?
Not today man. Why don't you take
a break? It's gonna be OK.
                                                            
BACK TO LONG SHOT of Clive walking away.
                                                            
                       CLIVE
      (walking away
       sulking)
No one ever cared before.
                                                            
NEW WIDE SHOT as Shane approaches angry lady carrying the
mop.
                                                            

62.

                       ANGRY LADY
It's nice to see that you're
finally taking some initiative.
                                                            
Shane tosses the mop at the Angry Lady.
                                                            
CLOSE UP as Shane sips from a carton of milk.

TWO SHOT as Shane bends down, and hands it to the young
child.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Hey, you don't have to be afraid
anymore. There's help for you out
there. You just gotta look in the
right places. NYUK!!
                                                            
Shane heads back toward the front counter.
                                                            
NEW TWO SHOT of Angry Lady and the young child.
                                                            
                       YOUNG CHILD
      (staring at the
       carton)
Kids help phone? Mommy I thought
you said there was no help for me?
                                                            
                       ANGRY LADY
Todd no-one wants to help a
stuttering retard like you. You're
just like your father. Your not
even a has-been, you're a never
was-been. Every time I look at
your face I see his stupid face
staring back at me, and you know
what Todd it makes me sick, it
makes me sick to know that I
failed at marriage, and I failed
at birthing a child. If I wanted
to marry a goddamn steel worker I
would've stayed in Hamilton.
                                                            
WIDE SHOT PANNING the entire restaurant as everyone looks on
in shock.

TIGHT SHOT of Roee eating fries with a huge grin on his
face.
                                                            
                       ROEE
      (sarcastically)
Why don't you just stab him
already?
                                                            

63.

TIGHT SHOT of Angry Lady.
                                                            
                       ANGRY LADY
Shut up, all of you. Like your
parents did any better. Look at
these retards dressing like
goddamn eighties characters. It's
over, let it go. And you you
morons with your fucking donkey
uniforms. Don't you realize how
stupid you look? You're all low
class.
                                                            
WIDE SHOT of N.E.R.D.S. nervously looking on.
                                                            
WIDE SHOT of Sharon, Sandy, Roee, Justin and Shane standing
behind the counter.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Angry Lady as she wipes her nose with her
sleeve.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Drunken Customer rising from his seat rather
quickly.
                                                            
                       DRUNK CUSTOMER
Mam, that's no way to talk to the
boy. Come on Toddy, come sit with
me and we'll wait for your daddy
to come.
                                                            
Todd walks over and sits beside Drunken Customer.
                                                            
                       ANGRY LADY
Fine, you wanna stay with him? Go
ahead see if i care see if he
doesn't molest you in the morning
and mommy ain't gonna be there to
save you this time.
                                                            
TWO SHOT of Drunk customer and Todd giving her the finger.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Angry Lady and we go back and forth between
her and Drunk customer with Todd.
                                                            
                       ANGRY LADY
Wait Toddy mommy's sorry, I'm
under a lot of pressure honey you
know?
                                                            
                       YOUNG CHILD
You know what mom? I think I'll
wait for dad.
                                                            

64.

WIDE SHOT as the CAMERA PANS the entire restaurant, everyone
in the room ERUPTS in applause.
                                                            
                       ANGRY LADY
Fuck you! Fuck all of you! Fuck
you and the donkey's you rode in
on. I'll burn this place down to
its foundations.
                                                            
Angry Lady loses it and starts to sob.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Justin standing behind the counter.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
What the fuck did I tell you about
this fucking snot nose little
shit? See, you should have
disciplined the kid when I told
you to. Now your just embarrassing
yourself.
                                                            
                       ANGRY LADY
Your that ignorant prick I saw in
the car.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
No, I'm the ignorant prick telling
you how it is. Now get the fuck
outta here.
                                                            
LONG SHOT as Angry lady storms out of the restaurant.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - MANAGEMENT OFFICE - NIGHT
                                                            
Terrance is in his office messing with Roee's hours. He adds
in 3 10 minute breaks. He logs out and leaves the office.

A minute later Roee steps into the office. Logs into the
computer and erases the 3 breaks. He then changes the log in
password.

A minutes later Terrance comes back in and tries to log in.
He tries the password several times and can't seem to get
in.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Oh. Not good for me today. I don't
know what is. Oh. I call head
office maybe the figure out for
me. Oh. I can't say for sure. Oh.
OK.
                                                            
 

65.

INT. HDBJ - DRIVE THRU AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
MEDIUM SHOT of Shane. His headset rings DING. He roles his
eyes. The HDBJ theme song begins to play in his ear.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (calling for
       Terrance)
Yo Terrance, you gotta cover this
one. I gotta take a shit.
                                                            
TIGHT DOLLY SHOT of Terrance's tiny legs shuffling towards
the front. The camera rises to Terrance's face.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Sandy burger down. Big rush coming
today. OK Shane what you like me
to do for you?
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of Shane.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (handing Terrance
       the head set)
I gotta take a dumpling, you deal
with this.
                                                            
Shane walks past Terrance and off screen.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Shane, you must punch out.
                                                            
LONG SHOT of Shane walking away.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Not likely.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE (O.S.)
OK I will fix it later.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (under his breathe)
I'll fix you later.
                                                            
WIDE SHOT as Terrance steps in front of the till beside the
drive thru window. He firmly grasps the waistband of his
headset and with his other hand places the mic perfectly
adjacent to his mouth.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Terrance's face. We go back and forth between
CLOSE UP of Terrance and MEDIUM SHOT of Tiki in his car.
                                                            

66.

                       TERRANCE
      (to customer)
We're having a honkey donkey day
at the honkey Donkey Burger
Jamboree. How can I help you on
this honkey donkey
day?
                                                            
                       TIKI
Ya, can I get the donker deluxe
combo with an RC cola, and... am I
reading this right, you have meat
blocks. Could you tell me exactly
what meat blocks are?
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
They are a delicious composition
of tender meats, spiced with
donker seasoning, and served in an
efficient block format served with
our famous home styled chickidy
cluck cluck barbecue bonanza
savory sauce.
                                                            
                       TIKI
Ya I have no idea what you just
said...but I'll try those and...
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
So that is one donker deluxe combo
with meat blocks, which is again
tender meats, spiced with donker
seasoning, and served in an
efficient block format with our
famous home styled chickidy cluck
cluck barbecue bonanza savory
sauce and one RC cola. Anything
else for you today sir?
                                                            
                       TIKI
Alright I wasn't really finished.
Can you go ahead and add cheese to
that sandwich and...
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
So that is one donker deluxe combo
with meat blocks, which is again
tender meats, spiced with donker
seasoning, and served in an
efficient block format with our
famous home styled chickidy cluck
cluck barbecue bonanza savory
sauce and one RC cola. And you
want cheese added. Anything else
            (MORE)

67.

                       TERRANCE (cont'd)
for you today sir?
                                                            
                       TIKI
Alright I'm going to have to ask
you to stop cutting me off. You
think you can do that?
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Oh. I apologize for that sir. Many
apologies. You may continue.
                                                            
                       TIKI
Thank you. I also want to get one
junior donker deluxe sandwich on
the side with cheese and...
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
So that is one donker deluxe combo
with meat blocks, which is again
tender meats, spiced with donker
seasoning, and served in an
efficient block format with our
famous home styled chickidy cluck
cluck barbecue bonanza savory
sauce and one RC cola. And you
want cheese added. Plus you want
one donker junior deluxe with
cheese. Anything else for you
today sir?
                                                            
                       TIKI
My friend, in all honesty, are we
going to be doing this all day.
Stop cutting me off alright. I
just wanted to tell you that I
have a coupon for that donker
junior deluxe sandwich.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Can I interest you in two apple
pies for 3 dollars.
                                                            
                       TIKI
No. Now your just ignoring what
I'm saying and that's just plain
ignorant.
I...have...a...coupon...for the
donker junior deluxe with cheese.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
So that is one donker deluxe combo
with meat blocks, which is again
tender meats, spiced with donker
            (MORE)

68.

                       TERRANCE (cont'd)
seasoning, and served in an
efficient block format with our
famous home styled chickidy cluck
cluck barbecue bonanza savory
sauce and one RC cola. And you
want cheese added. Plus you want
one donker junior deluxe with
cheese and you have a coupon for
that junior donker deluxe. But sir
I have to inform you that the
coupon is not valid with cheese.
Cheese you pay extra 20 cents.
Anything else for you today sir?
                                                            
                       TIKI
Are you mocking me. Why are you
doing that?
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Am I mocking you? Why am I doing
what?
                                                            
                       TIKI
      (yelling)
You just did it. Your repeating
everything I say. Why the hell do
you keep doing that?
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - WASHROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
MEDIUM SHOT of Shane sitting on the toilet in uncontrollable
LAUGHTER.
                                                            
CUT TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. HDBJ - FRONT DOORS - NIGHT
                                                            
WIDE SHOT of Reny killing himself in LAUGHTER while
listening to the conversation over the head set.

TIGHT SHOT of A young teenage boy opening the front door.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Reny's psychotic face.
                                                            
                       RENY
      (pointing at the
       boy)
Hey you. Give me 15 cents goddamn
it!
                                                            

69.

WIDE SHOT of The young teenage boy dropping a handful of
change on the ground and runs away (clearly scared for his
life).

MEDIUM SHOT of Reny as he drops to the ground and picks up
the change.
                                                            
                       RENY
Jackpot. I got enough for a combo.
It's daddy's time to eat. FUCK.
                                                            
BACK TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. HDBJ - DRIVE THRU SPEAKER - NIGHT
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Terrance standing in front of the till (very
concentrated).

We CUT back and forth between CLOSE UP's of Terrance and
Tiki (sitting in his car).
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Sir for efficiency purposes I must
repeat the order to you as it was
given to me. By any chance are you
using the 365 donker pass? And if
so did you purchase a donker
junior deluxe everyday since
receiving that pass?
                                                            
                       TIKI (O.S.)
I don't really see why that
matters right now. I mean 3
fucking cars behind me have left
since we've been talking. Let me
ask you this, how's your drive
thru time? Fuck it don't answer
that. I just got this card 2 days
ago and this is the first time I'm
using it.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
As per the agreement found on our
website you must forfeit your 365
donker pass due to a breach in the
contract. Line 19 section 3
clearly explains that one must
purchase a donker junior deluxe
365 consecutive days in order to
get the full use of the card.
Being as you failed to use this
card yesterday, I can no longer
accept this coupon. You pay full
            (MORE)

70.

                       TERRANCE (cont'd)
price.
                                                            
                       TIKI
      (going ballistic)
What the fuck are you talking
about? Are you fucking retarded?
Do you have down syndrome or
something? This has been, hands
down the worst drive thru
experience I or anyone else for
that matter has ever had to deal
with. Your store is going to hell
and I hope you go with it.
                                                            
LONG SHOT of Justin running up and stripping Terrance of his
head set.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
      (to Tiki)
Sir, honestly I don't even know
what to say about that situation.
But I can tell you this. Your
order is free and were gonna
double it. Just drive thru and
everything is going to be OK.
                                                            
E.C.U. of Justin's hand making the customers drinks.

MEDIUM SHOT of Sandy coming from the back with two bags full
of food and places them on the counter in front of Terrance.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Terrance.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
How you make this food so fast
Sandy?
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Sandy's annoyed face.
                                                            
                       SANDY
      (sarcastically)
Well maybe it's because you
repeated the order 450 times
Terrance.
                                                            
MEDIUM SHOT of Sandy attempting to walk away and is again
interrupted by Terrance.
                                                            

71.

                       TERRANCE (O.S.)
Ooh. Sandy how many times I tell
you. You don't make burger until
it is fully punched in. You know,
in case customer change mind.
                                                            
Sandy attempts to walk away and is again stopped by
Terrance.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Terrance.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE (CONT'D)
Ooh and Sandy.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Sandy's face clearly filled with annoyance.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE (CONT'D)
Burger down.
                                                            
Sandy's face fills with rage and she charges at Terrance.
Justin stops her and steers her toward the kitchen.
                                                            
MEDIUM SHOT of Justin, Terrance, and Sandy.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
Not on my shift. Everyone just
calm down.
                                                            
Sandy walks away.
                                                            
Justin puts the lids on the drinks, and the napkins in the
bag. He opens the drive thru window.

Back and forth between TIGHT SHOTS of Tiki sitting in his
car (infuriated). And Justin looking apologetic.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
      (handing bags to
       Tiki)
Again sir I apologize for the
inconvenience. Here you go
compliments of the Honkey Donkey
Burger Jamboree.
                                                            
                       TIKI
Your a good man. Oh and by the
way tell Hong Lee over there that
I'm a mystery shopper and in the
words of Donald Trump You're
fired.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Terrance's incoherent face.
                                                            

72.

Back to TIGHT SHOT of Tiki as his car peels out of the shot.
                                                            
WIDE SHOT as Justin storms off to the back, Terrance
following closely behind.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT as Shane emerges from the back and heads over to
the drive thru area. DING. The HDBJ theme music begins to
play.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (annoyed)
What?
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - GIRLS WASHROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Sharon is trying several different ointments on her canker.
                                                            
Clive walks in and is staring at her in a creepy fashion.
                                                            
                       CLIVE
You need some help? I'm so
stranger to cankers.
                                                            
                       SHARON
Ya. Is that right? Well I'm no
stranger to ripping off your head
and ramming it into your chest
cavity. God. Fucker. What the fuck
are you doing in here.
                                                            
                       CLIVE
I like it in here. It's quiet.
                                                            
                       SHARON
Does it sound quiet in here now?
Ffffff....
                                                            
Sharon tries getting it out and looks exhausted. She gives
up and walks past him.
                                                            
Clive notices the canker cream on the sink.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DINING ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
WIDE SHOT of LEONARD ANDERSON (father of Todd). Walks into
the restaurant and runs over to Todd who is sitting beside
drunk customer. Drunk customer is passed out on the table.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
      (puffing his
       inhaler)
Toddy, you had papa really
            (MORE)

73.

                       LEONARD (cont'd)
worried.
                                                            
                       YOUNG CHILD
      (to Leonard)
Well what the fuck dad? Mom left
me here, with a strange drunk man,
alone, again. Oh and I don't know
if you've noticed, but me and my
new friend here have come to the
realization that mom's a field
hockey fiesta of FUCK dad.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Son your preaching to the choir. I
got an idea lets go back to...
                                                            
                       YOUNG CHILD
I'm not going back to Hamilton
dad.... The meat smells like
metal, my clothes smell like metal
even my friends smell like metal.
                                                            
                       LEONARD
Yeah and you know what else smells
like metal Toddy my belt buckle
and you're ass is gonna smell like
metal soon if you don't walk out
that door and into that truck you
pre pubescent little punk.
                                                            
Todd gets up, runs to the door then turns around abruptly
and yells.
                                                            
                       YOUNG CHILD
NYUK!!!!!
                                                            
                       LEONARD
      (looking around
       the store)
What the hell is Nyuk? What the
hell is the matter with this
place?
                                                            
Leonard storms out the front door.
                                                            
Shane and Roee standing far away.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Did you like that?
                                                            

74.

                       ROEE
      (high pitched)
Ya.
                                                            
 
EXT. HDBJ - PARKING LOT - NIGHT
                                                            
Sandy's Dad sitting in his car. Sandy approaches and hands
him the house key.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
I noticed you in there talking to
Shane. I thought we went through
this?
                                                            
                       SANDY
Dad please enough already. I don't
have time for this right now. I'm
trying to work.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
I'm starting to get a little
hungry. I may just take a gander
through the drive thru and pay him
a little visit.
                                                            
Richard drives off before Sandy can say anything.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - MANAGEMENT OFFICE - NIGHT
                                                            
Terrance is still trying to figure out the password for his
computer. The PHONE RINGS.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Were having a honkey donkey day at
...
                                                            
                       KIP (O.S.)
      (cutting him off)
That's enough. You know who this
is? This is Kip Kipson founder of
the Honkey Donkey Burger Jamboree.
One of our shitty investment's.
I'm hearing some horrible things
about your establishment. And I
think I need to pay a little
visit. When I get there I expect
everything to be In tip top shape
and if it's not it's your ass.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
Oh. Well sir things...
                                                            

75.

The phone hangs up and we here DIAL TONE.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE (cont'd)
Oh. I don't know. I don't
understand. What? OK. I hang up
now.
                                                            
 
EXT. HDBJ - DRIVE THRU AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
KENT BEATIE, late 20's (Toronto Marlies Player) pulls up to
the drive thru window.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (handing him his
       food)
Hey man, don't you play for the
Marlies?
                                                            
                       KENT
I used to play for the Marlies. I
blew out my knee a few months
back. Doesn't really look good and
uh, you know I just want to try
and get back out there and uh give
it 100% in rehab and uh you know
see what happens.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Man that's horrible. How old are
you?
                                                            
                       KENT
I'm uh in my late 20's and uh
we'll leave it at that and uh...
                                                            
                       SHANE
And what?
                                                            
                       KENT
And uh that's it I guess. Now I'm
opening a burger franchise. Should
do pretty well you know? You play
hockey.
                                                            
                       SHANE
I used to play hockey. You know
it's funny cause everyone keeps
telling me how I should invest in
pursuing a career in the NHL and
you just confirmed that It's
probably a waste of time.
                                                            

76.

                       KENT
That's not necessarily true. I did
get my one game in the NHL. It may
not seem like a lot to you but I
have a story to tell my grand
kids.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Really and what's that?
                                                            
                       KENT
I finally get the call up and uh I
got butterflies in my stomach and
uh I threw up all over the
dressing room and uh anyways I had
a few mediocre shifts and thought
I was done for the game. I mean we
were losing like 7-0 to Ottawa and
it seemed like a bust. Then my
coach tells me to go out there and
make an impact. I mean there was
like 20 seconds left on the clock
and uh there wasn't much going on.
Anyways I'm skating up past the
blue line and I see Daniel
Alfreddson and I think to myself,
I've wanted to drill this son of a
bitch since the day I laid eyes on
him.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (wide eyed)
So then what happened?
                                                            
                       KENT
So ya anways I'm cutting across at
full speed and that scrawny son of
a bitch thinks he's gonna beat me
on the outside by their bench. I
thought differently and steamed
rolled that bastard right into his
own bench door.
                                                            
                       SHANE
That's awesome. So it was a good
finish eh?
                                                            
                       KENT
Well Zdeno Chara came off the
bench and kicked the living shit
out of me. I still have blurred
vision in my left eye but it was
so worth it. I saw Dany boy's face
            (MORE)

77.

                       KENT (cont'd)
and I knew he was thinking "who
the fuck is this guy" and I left
my stamp on him and that's all
that matters. I can't continue my
career but I was there. I had the
chance and I've got no regrets.
                                                            
                       SHANE
No regrets eh? That sounds like a
nice way to live. Anyways can I
get you anything else?
                                                            
                       KENT
No this one burger is fine. To be
honest my business partner told me
if I wanted to learn how not to
make a burger I should come here.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Sounds like your business partner
is a smart man.
                                                            
                       KENT
No. He's Tie Domi.
                                                            
Kent gives the peace symbol and drives off.
                                                            
Sandy storms up to Shane, grabs him by the arm and gets in
his face.
                                                            
                       SANDY
You know Shane I'm getting really
sick and tired of your shit. I can
but I can't, I will but I won't.
Make a decision! Your mom is a
grown woman who can take car of
herself. And your an excellent
hockey player who has a good shot
at the NHL. I mean come on Tie
Domi made it for gods sake.
                                                            
Before Shane can react Sandy storms off.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - GIRLS WASHROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Clive is fiercely masturbating in the a stall. A big old
southern girls walks into the stall.
                                                            

78.

                       SOUTHERN GIRL
Oh my goodness gracious me, what
in the lord's name have I stumbled
upon here?
                                                            
Clive's pants down to his ankles.
                                                            
                       CLIVE
It's not what it looks like. It's
canker cream.
                                                            
                       SOUTHERN GIRL
Well how does a young lad like you
get cankers all over his penis?
Let me see.
                                                            
Southern girl takes a nice long look.
                                                            
                       CLIVE
      (whiny)
I don't know what I'm doing.
                                                            
                       SOUTHERN GIRL
Well did you need some help?
                                                            
                       CLIVE
Well, alright I guess.
                                                            
 
EXT. HDBJ-DRIVE TRU SPEAKER - NIGHT
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of the MORBIO Crew in their car with Trevor in
the back dressed in his uniform holding an HDBJ bag. They're
all laughing.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of MURPHY.
                                                            
                       MURPHY
      (whispering to
       Trevor)
Alright Trev you know the plan
right? Make it sound like you're
both giving and taking the order.
                                                            
WE CUT back and forth between CLOSE UP's of Shane and
Trevor.
                                                            
                       TREVOR
      (laughing)
Cool. He's gonna be so pissed.
                                                            
                       SHANE (O.S.)
Hello?
                                                            

79.

                       TREVOR
      (chipper white man
       voice)
Hi there welcome to the HDBJ how
can I help you today?
                                                            
                       SHANE (O.S.)
OK...awkward... Um how can I help
you today sir?
                                                            
                       TREVOR
Hi there sir, how about you try
the special today? the Donker
Deluxe classic with cheese only
2.99 plus applicable taxes?
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DRIVE THRU AREA - CONTINUOUS - NIGHT
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (a look of
       confusion)
OK so you'd like the special today
sir?
                                                            
                       TREVOR (O.S.)
OK so that's one special. fries or
meat blocks with that sir?
                                                            
                       SHANE
Um well it'll have to be one or
the other sir. I mean you can get
both if you want but they'll cost
extra.
                                                            
                       TREVOR (O.S.)
Um well sir, if it's only for one
person I don't think you're gonna
need the extra side, so if you'd
like me to guess one for you, I'd
say you sound more like a meat
block man. So how about we go with
that?
                                                            
                       SHANE
I'm sorry, what? The meat blocks?
                                                            
                       TREVOR (O.S.)
OK sir sounds good and what drink
today?
                                                            

80.

                       SHANE
Uh.. We actually have a couple of
options. There's coke, root beer,
iced tea...
                                                            
                       TREVOR (O.S.)
Um sir there's actually no more
root beer or iced tea, so did you
want to just go with the coke?
                                                            
                       SHANE
Uh...sure.
                                                            
                       TREVOR (O.S.)
OK sir so let me just confirm your
order. That's gonna be a Donker
Deluxe special with cheese, meat
blocks as the side, and coke to
drink. Will that be all today sir?
                                                            
                       SHANE
Um well that's all that's gonna
come with your combo, unless,
well, did you want more?
                                                            
                       TREVOR (O.S.)
Sure no problem sir you can ultra
size the combo for only 40 cents
more. So your total's going to
come to 5.89, second window
please.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Um yeah, that's right. Just drive
thru to the second window.
                                                            
                       TREVOR (O.S.)
That's right sir we'll have to
make the transaction there. Thank
you for choosing the Honkey Donkey
Burger Jamboree, I hope you have a
Honkey Donkey Day.
                                                            
 
INT. DRIVE THRU AREA - MOMENTS LATER - NIGHT
                                                            
Trevor roles up to the drive thru window with a bag in his
hand smiling broadly.

We go back and forth between CLOSE UP's of Trevor and Shane.
                                                            

81.

                       TREVOR
      (to Shane)
So that will be 5.89 please sir.
would you like Donker Sauce with
that?
                                                            
Shane just stares at him for a minute then opens the bag and
whips a burger at him.
                                                            
                       SHANE
You bastard, you confused the shit
out of me. I didn't know what the
hell was going on.
                                                            
MORBIO crew dying of LAUGHTER.
                                                            
                       TREVOR
Oh man that was solid gold...
thanks for covering my shift bro.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Yeah whatever man... just pay for
this shit and get in here. I gotta
get the fuck out of here before i
kill someone.
                                                            
                       TREVOR
      (eating from the
       bag)
Sorry man I spent all my money on
this shit. It was worth it though
to see your face. We got it all on
tape.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Fuck man so what am I supposed to
do with all this food?
                                                            
                       TREVOR
I don't know, give it to Roee,
he's always stealing food from
here anyway. I'll be there in a
few.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Alright.. Just hurry up man.
                                                            
MORBIO crew peel out into the parking area.
                                                            
 

82.

INT. HDBJ - DINING AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
Dante and the N.E.R.D.S. members are chatting at their
table. Rainbow gets up.
                                                            
                       RAINBOW
      (walking off)
Excuse me guys. I have to use the
washroom.
                                                            
Shane squeezes between Jimmy and Bobby.
                                                            
                       DANTE
Listen Bobby. I have to get your
blessing on something.
                                                            
                       BOBBY
Look Dante, I told you that
watching modern cartoons is out of
the question.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
This new stuff doesn't even
deserve to be called cartoons,
Dante. You know that.
                                                            
                       DANTE
It's not that. I need to get your
blessing because I am going to ask
Rainbow to be my girlfriend.
                                                            
Bobby is distracted by something happening behind Dante.
                                                            
PHIL and TATE, late teens (stoned) are laughing obnoxiously.
                                                            
                       PHIL
      (laughing)
So there's like these bears. And
they got like a meter that shows
when kids are upset and shit
right? And they have these beams
that are shaped like rainbows, and
hearts and shit. And when the bad
guys come they shoot them with the
beams. And like every episode has
like a lesson man. So what do you
think?
                                                            
                       TATE
      (eyes barely
       staying open)
I want some chips guy.
                                                            

83.

Bobby approaches their table and leans on it. They both look
at him, trying to control their laughter.
                                                            
                       BOBBY
Excuse me gentleman. The cartoon
you think you are inventing has
already been made. It's called the
care bears and has a very distinct
song which I'm sure you have both
heard.
                                                            
                       PHIL
      (laughing)
Why don't you sing it for us?
                                                            
                       BOBBY
4-3-2-1. Who's that coming, from
out there up in the sky...
                                                            
Dante trying to get Bobby's attention.
                                                            
                       DANTE
They're just telling you to do it
so they can laugh at you.
                                                            
Bobby looking at Tate and Phil.
                                                            
                       TATE
      (to Bobby)
Ya guy. He's right.
                                                            
Bobby goes back and sits beside Dante.
                                                            
                       DANTE
Anyways Bobby I need your
blessing.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
      (to Dante)
Aren't you still dating Melissa?
                                                            
                       DANTE
I broke up with her a few days
ago.
                                                            
                       BOBBY
      (to Dante)
Out loud this time Dante?
                                                            
                       DANTE
I think she heard me. Anyways, do
I have your blessing.
                                                            

84.

Rainbow walks up and sits in front of Dante.
                                                            
Bobby nods his head yes and Dante smiles.
                                                            
Phil and Tate sitting in silence. They extremely high.

                                                            
                       PHIL
      (sitting up)
How about this man? There's these
turtles and their like 4 feet
tall, and their like Ninja's that
fight crime. And the only way you
can tell them apart is the color
of their head bands.
                                                            
Bobby giving them a dirty look.

Random customer runs up and squirts him with two bottles of
mustard.
                                                            
                       RANDOM CUSTOMER
You are such a loser!
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - FRONT CASH - NIGHT
                                                            
Shane walks into the front cash area.
                                                            
Linda walks into the restaurant. She approaches Shane.
                                                            
                       LINDA
      (to Shane.)
Hey, can you take a break?
                                                            
Sandy walks into the front area.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (looking at Sandy,
       talking to Linda)
Sure. It's not like we get many
customers.
                                                            
Sandy watches as Shane and Linda walks outside.
                                                            
 
EXT. HDBJ - FRONT DOORS - NIGHT
                                                            
Linda and Shane standing out front.
                                                            

85.

                       LINDA
Listen Shane. You need to move on
from this place.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Mom please...
                                                            
                       LINDA
      (cutting him off)
No I have to say this. You are too
good to be wasting your life here.
Even if you don't play hockey, you
can go to school. Your a smart
kid.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Your right mom. So that's what I'm
gonna do. I'm going to play
hockey, earn a scholarship and
make something of my life.
                                                            
                       LINDA
      (shocked.)
That was way to easy.
                                                            
                       SHANE
You know what mom. It's just been
one of those life altering days
you know? I've just decided
there's more out there for me. You
sure your gonna be OK for money if
I go off to school?
                                                            
A big smile comes over her face.
                                                            
                       SHANE (cont'd)
      (point at her)
You got news!
                                                            
                       LINDA
I got the job.
                                                            
                       SHANE
The one at St. Rob's? Mom that's
amazing.
                                                            
Shane hugs her.
                                                            
                       LINDA
For once I think every things
gonna be alright.
                                                            
 

86.

INT. DRIVE THRU AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
WIDE SHOT of Roee standing at the front counter.
                                                            
Shane walks up to Roee.
                                                            
                       SHANE
What's the matter, not hungry
anymore?
                                                            
                       ROEE
      (patting his
       stomach)
No I'm good. What are you saying?
                                                            
A BEEP is heard as Shane's headset again goes off. The HDBJ
theme music begins to play. He looks as though he's had
enough for one day. He walks back over to his till and
shrugs.
                                                            
                       ROEE (CONT'D)
      (walking away)
I'll make this order.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (to Roee)
Your actually going to do
something? I must say I'm
impressed.
      (to customer)
Ya whatever.
                                                            
                       RICHARD (O.S.)
Hi there. Can I get a number one
with cheese? You know what sir I'm
sorry. I don't want to tell you
what to do or you might quit your
job. I'll just drive thru.
                                                            
Shane waits at the window patiently. Richard pulls up to the
window.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
      (to Shane)
Shane listen, I'm going to need
you to stay away from my daughter.
She doesn't want to be with a
quitter. So why don't you get me a
combo number 1 and stay the hell
away from my daughter.
                                                            
Before Shane can say anything Sandy grabs him by the
shoulder. She walks right up to the window.
                                                            

87.

                       SANDY
Look Dad I've had about enough of
your crap. Shane quit your hockey
team because you were a garbage
coach not because he couldn't
handle the pressure. And if you
remember they fired your ass right
after he left. Not because he was
gone, but because you suck.
                                                            
Sandy plants a kiss on Shane. She turns around, gives
Richard the finger and slams the window in his face.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - STOCK ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Shane and Sandy run into the stock room.
                                                            
                       SANDY
I've been waiting to tell my dad
off for over a year. That felt so
good.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Listen Sandy. You know earlier
when you asked where I saw myself
in the future?
                                                            
                       SANDY
      (looking deep into
       his eyes)
Yes.
                                                            
                       SHANE
I saw myself being with you.
                                                            
They share a kiss. Sandy looking down at Shane's waist.
                                                            
                       SANDY
Where's your headset?
                                                            
 
EXT. HDBJ - DRIVE THRU SPEAKER - NIGHT
                                                            
A huge line up of cars in the DRIVE THRU lane. They are all
yelling and honey their HORNS.
                                                            
                       RENY (O.S.)
      (over the speaker)
God damn it I thought I told you
not to wipe your nose with your
bare hands and make the burgers.
                                                            

88.

A SHOT of everyone looking at the speaker in disgust.
                                                            
                       RENY (O.S.)
      (over the speaker)
Is that blood or ketchup. Holy
fuck.
                                                            
Everyone starts to drive off and look at the speaker with
disgust as they pass by.
                                                            
 
EXT. HDBJ - FRONT DOORS - NIGHT
                                                            
Reny holding his head set laughing psychotically.
                                                            
 
INT. DRIVE THRU AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
Shane walks back into the drive thru area. He puts on his
head set and immediately gets a DING.
                                                            
                       SHANE
      (high pitched)
Ya!
                                                            
                       CRAZY DAD
What? That's how you answer the
god damn drive thru?. Let me ask
you something? Are you the guy
who's been doing drive thru for
the past hour or so?
                                                            
                       SHANE
Ya, what's it to you?
                                                            
                       CRAZY DAD
Let me tell you something you
worthless piece of shit. My
daughter came in here about 15-20
minutes ago and said that the guy
working the drive thru sodomized
her in the ladies washroom, did a
miserable job of it, and then
robbed her of 15 cents. Now you
can take my daughters virginity,
but you can't have her dignity you
little son of a bitch.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Listen to me cause I'm only gonna
say this one fucking time. You are
obviously an old bitter child
molester, who probably rapes his
            (MORE)

89.

                       SHANE (cont'd)
own daughter, and than prowls the
local burger joints looking for
someone to blame it on. I'm not
going to be your fucking scape
goat, not today, not tomorrow, or
any other day you choose to have
your little incest parties. I'm
not even supposed to be working
right now. My manager is a fucking
sloppy eating, feet dragging,
square headed fuck. We have a
fucking He-man birthday party
going on in the dining room, and
to top it off I believe I've
inherited a hernia. So if you want
to do something about it then by
all means drive thru.
                                                            
                       CRAZY DAD
You greasy little cock sucker. Let
me tell you something. I didn't
take any shit like this in my 19
years at GM, and I'm certainly not
gonna take any shit from a grimy
little pencil dick like you. Drive
thru, your God damn right I'll
drive thru, I'm gonna drive my
Kodiak boot right through your
ass. Steel toe, mother fucker.
                                                            
The car is heard PEELING OUT.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - FRONT CASH - NIGHT
                                                            
LONG SHOT of Roee storming to the front holding a bottle of
water and a hamburger. He hands Shane the burger and walks
up to Sharon.
                                                            
                       ROEE
      (handing Sharon a
       water bottle)
This is gonna help your canker.
                                                            
E.C.U. of Sharon's hand grasping the bottle of water and
twisting the cap off.
                                                            
                       SHARON
      (looking at the
       bottle)
What's this?
                                                            

90.

                       ROEE
If you want to get rid of the STD
then deal with that.
                                                            
WIDE SHOT as Rainbow and Dante approach the counter.

THROUGH A VIDEO CAMERA WE SEE: Dante with his arm around
rainbow Brite, he kisses her on the cheek and she blushes.
Reny walks up behind them and startles Dante.
                                                            
BACK TO WIDE SHOT as Reny walks up beside Dante and Rainbow
completely oblivious of them.
                                                            
                       RENY
      (to Sharon)
Give me the special FUCK!!!
                                                            
                       DANTE
      (to Reny)
Excuse me. We were here first.
      (to Sharon)
My lady friend here would like a
donker extracted shakidy shake
shake.
                                                            
WIDE SHOT of everyone.

Sharon takes a sip of what she thinks is water and spits it
in the face of Dante.

CLOSE UP as Dante grabs his face and starts SCREAMING in
pain.

CLOSE UP of Sharon as she SCREAMS and reaches for her
canker.
                                                            
                       SHARON
      (slurring)
What the hell was that?
                                                            
                       ROEE
      (laughing)
Vinegar. Deal with that.
                                                            
Sharon runs off to the washroom.
                                                            
 
INT. DRIVE THRU AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT of The crazy dad pulling up to the window.

A burger zips through the window striking him just above the

91.

left eye. The burger than bounces off his head and back into
the drive thru area.
                                                            
                       CRAZY DAD
Your a fucking dead man you hear
me. I'm coming in.
                                                            
CLOSE UP of Shane smiling.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - FRONT CASH - NIGHT
                                                            
WIDE SHOT as Roee picks a burger up off the ground and puts
it on a tray with some fries and a soda.

He walks over to the counter and hands the tray to Reny.

TIGHT SHOT of Dante squirming around on the ground.

BACK TO WIDE SHOT as Reny hands Roee the change he has and
Roee pockets it.

MEDIUM SHOT as Rainbow Brite bends down and plants a kiss on
Dante's forehead.
                                                            
                       RAINBOW
Everything is going to be alright
Dante.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DINING AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
The following is seen through a video camera. Rainbow
helping Dante to his feet and hugging him.

A camera crew bursts into the HDBJ and surrounds the pair.

WIDE SHOT of the chaos that is about to ensue.
                                                            
                       NORDSTROM
      (in Dante's face)
What are you doing to her Dante?
Huh? What's going on here?
                                                            
                       DANTE
Wait what do you mean what's going
on here? What's going on with you?
Who are you?
                                                            

92.

                       NORDSTROM
Um well I'm Kent Nordstrom from
the popular infidelity program
"Booked". And you sir have just
been booked.
                                                            
                       DANTE
Am I going be on T.V.
                                                            
Melissa runs through the crowd and spears Dante sending him
airborne.
                                                            
The camera man, boom operator, and producer surround Dante
and Mellisa as she fills him in. Nordstrom tries to pull her
off but she pushes him aside.
                                                            
NEW SHOT of Crazy dad storming into the restaurant, knocking
Clive to the ground. He walks straight up to the counter and
bumps in to Reny, knocking his burger to the floor.
                                                            
Reny looks down at the burger on the floor and begins to
shake profusely.
                                                            
                       CRAZY DAD
      (to Shane)
Alright you little shit I'm
gonna...
                                                            
Reny drills the crazy dad in the face and jumps on top of
him and recklessly starts throwing punches.
                                                            
                       RENY
      (pounding him)
You know how many sluts I needed
to seduce to get the money for
that burger?
                                                            
Crazy dad pulls Reny to the ground and they start punching
each other.
                                                            
NEW SHOT of Hip Indian running into the restaurant once
again knocking Clive to the ground. He and two other Indian
males in their early 20's, storm the front cash.
                                                            
                       HIP INDIAN
You remember me guy, you fucking
guy, it's time for the rumble, the
fight of your life you shit
fucking cock ass titty testicle
homo bitch. That's right cock
jugglers. I have brought the
appropriate ass kickers to fist
fuck you to hell.
                                                            

93.

Shane jumps the counter and decks Hip Indian in the face.

Hip Indian falling to the ground.

Indian 1 jumps Shane from behind. Roee pulls him off and
throws him to the ground. Indian 2 jumps on Roee's back and
he twirls him around. Indian 1 is about to throw a punch at
Roee when suddenly, Clive comes from nowhere and smashes a
broom over his head.

Shane and Roee looks at each other in shock.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - FRONT CASH - NIGHT
                                                            
Terrance walks into the front and gets a good view at whats
ensuing.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE
      (yelling)
Sandy...Burger down.
                                                            
Sandy walks to the front with Sharon standing behind her.
They are both carrying a bucket each. Sandy and Sharon pull
out some hamburgers.
                                                            
                       SANDY
You want burger down you feet
dragging son of a bitch. Here's
your fucking burger down.
                                                            
Sandy and Sharon start pelting Terrance with burgers as
Terrance runs to find cover in the dining area.

                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DINING AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
Fights are seen all over the restaurant.

The N.E.R.D.S crew is cowering in the corner. Bobby Owens
hits the play button on the ghetto blaster and gets in the
fetal position rocking back and forth.
                                                            
                       BOBBY
It's all gonna be over soon. It's
all gonna be over soon.
                                                            
Melissa has Dante in a head lock and is ramming his head
into the counter.

Nordstrom Has the mic in his face.
                                                            

94.

                       NORDSTROM
Do you even regret the fact that
you've cheated on this fragile
woman. This delicate flower? huh
Dante?...... Do ya?
                                                            
Shane, Roee, and Clive stomping on the Indians as they lay
in the fetal positions.

Reny and Crazy dad pushing each other and they go right
through the front door and out into the parking lot.
                                                            
                       MELISSA
      (smashing Dante's
       head into the
       counter)
You like that you little fucking
weasel.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DINING AREA - FRONT DOORS - NIGHT
                                                            
The MORBIO crew enters the restaurant. Their faces are
filled with joy as they see the brawl.
                                                            
                       SULLI
Yo, this is fucking crazy. Look at
your manager man, he's getting
pelted with burgers. Yo you guys
wanna jump in?
                                                            
                       TREVOR
I guess I got the night off.
                                                            
A burger zooms right by their heads. They all duck to avoid
it.
                                                            
                       MURPHY
Yo Trevor I'm hungry as bitch,
there's nobody looking. Go get us
some free food, pure pure.
                                                            
                       COURT
I agree with Murphy's assessment
of the situation. I always wanted
to try some of those shrimp
poppers you guys have.
                                                            
A shit load of shrimp poppers coming flying at them and
Court catches a few of them. He pops them in his mouth.
                                                            

95.

                       COURT (CONT'D)
Fucking sick. I didn't even have
to drive thru.
                                                            
                       BRENT
Guys, I don't think looting the
store is the best option right
now, let's just call the
authorities before this gets out
of hand.
                                                            
MORBIO'S view of the huge brawl.
                                                            
                       SULLI
Yo fuck the authorities man, lets
get some burgers and shakes and
shit and fucking eat them, and
fucking watch this shit.
                                                            
Justin comes from the back and takes a good look at what's
going on. He looks at Nordstrom.

Nordstrom in the face of Dante as he's getting drilled and
his body is lying lifeless on the ground.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
What the fuck is this? I fucking
hate Nordstrom that son of a
bitch.
                                                            
Justin runs over and clocks Nordstrom in the face knocking
him unconscious. He pics up the mic and looks into the
camera. He puts the mic in Dante's face.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
I don't know Dante how do you feel
about this situation?
                                                            
Rainbow Brite runs over and grabs Melissa by her hair and
pulls her off of Dante.
                                                            
Melissa head butts her and as Rainbow is falling, grabs her
by the hair, puts her head between her legs and power bombs
her onto the floor.
                                                            
The Indians get up and run out of the store past the MORBIO
crew.
                                                            
                       TREVOR
      (Indian accent)
Thank you, come again.
                                                            

96.

Terrance lying on the floor covered in burger meat in a
daze.
                                                            
Drunk customer pops his head up for a second and then goes
back to sleep.

Melissa pushes the camera man on the ground and storms out
of the restaurant as the care bears songs is still playing
in the background.

The N.E.R.D.S crew still cowering behind the tables in their
section.

Roee walks over and starts stomping on the ghetto blaster as
the audio on it fucks up and then abruptly stops.
                                                            
KIP KIPSON walks into the store and looks around. He has two
large body guards standing behind him.

Terrance lying on the ground.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
Holy Shit! It's Kip Kipson.
                                                            
                       CAMERA MAN
Who the hell is Kip Kipson.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
The creator of the Honkey Donkey
Burger Jamboree.
                                                            
Kip stands on top of one of the tables.
                                                            
                       KIP
Who's in charge here?
                                                            
Everyone pointing at Terrance.
                                                            
                       KIP (CONT'D)
      (to Terrance.)
You. Your fired. Get the hell out
of here. As for the rest of you I
want this place cleaned up and
I'll be back in an hour. This is
not what the HDBJ is all about.
This is the most disgusting
display of customer service that
I've ever witnessed in my entire
life.
                                                            
Kip walks out of the store with his body guards.
                                                            

97.

                       JUSTIN
      (addressing
       everyone)
Alright everyone listen up. Anyone
who works here come stand beside
me.
                                                            
Sandy, Sharon, Roee, Shane, and Trevor all walk over and
stand beside Justin.

The MORBIO crew takes a seat at one of the benches.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN (CONT'D)
      (To Morbio)
You guys. If you help clean up
than I'm gonna give you free food
for a year.
                                                            
                       SULLI
Hells yeah!
                                                            
                       JUSTIN (CONT'D)
As for you fucking 80's nerds
you've over stayed your welcome.
Get your shit and get the fuck out
of here. And to those associated
with the show booked. Get your
shit and get the fuck outta my
sight. And that includes that
piece of trash Nordstrom.
                                                            
N.E.R.D.S form a single file line and head out the side
doors.

The camera man and boom operator drag Nordstrom outside.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
Alright guys lets fix this place
up. You know what I mean?
                                                            
They all start to clean up.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - DINING AREA - NIGHT
                                                            
The whole crew, with MORBIO are sitting in the dining room.
The place is squeaky clean.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
Yo guys thanks for the help. We
really pulled our shit together.
                                                            

98.

                       SHANE
Ya guys that was clutch. I guess
some good came from taking your
shift Trevor. I got to whoop some
customer ass, we got Terrance
fired, Sharon got rid of her
canker, Sandy pelted Terrance with
burgers, Justin's running the
show, Roee fucked up those 80's
nerds' ghetto blaster, MORBIO got
to eat and for once there will be
no more burger down. Oh and not to
be outdone. Dante got his ass
whooped by his girlfriend. NYUK!!
                                                            
                       ROEE
Zeen.
                                                            
                       TREVOR
Ya that was definitely the high
point of the day.
                                                            
                       ROEE
Hey Clive. That was cool you
jumping in for us back there.
                                                            
                       CLIVE
Well there comes a point in a mans
life when he just has to...
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
Ya whatever. Boys we all did good.
Here comes Kip now.
                                                            
They all stand up.

Kip walks into the store with his 2 bodyguards.
                                                            
                       KIP
Well guys I must say I'm impressed
with the clean up. I didn't
believe you would get it done and
quite frankly I planned on firing
your asses as soon as I got back.
Who's in charge here?
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
Sir that would be me. And I
totally understand if you want to
fire me.
                                                            

99.

                       KIP
Fire you. Damn son I'm promoting
you. Everyone say hello to the new
head manager of the HDBJ.
                                                            
Everyone gives a standing ovation.
                                                            
                       KIP
As for the rest of you. You all
have two donkeys asses on your
records. But if Justin will vouch
for you guys then I'll lift the
probation.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
Sir I definitely vouch for all
these guys. Including Dante, but
uh.. I think he's gonna be outta
commission for a few weeks.
                                                            
One of the bodyguards nudges Kip on the shoulder.
                                                            
                       BODY GUARD
Sir we have to go. There is a
similar Malay breaking out at our
Kitchener location.
                                                            
                       KIP
Well fellas duty calls. Take care
of yourselves as well as each
other. I bid you good day.
                                                            
Kip and his cronies leave the store.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
Alright everyone but Roee, Shane,
Trevor, Sandy and Sharon can wait
outside.
                                                            
The rest of them exit the store. Justin turns the lights
off. They follow him to the girls washroom and he opens the
door.

All the mess from the rest of the store is piled up on the
washroom floor.
                                                            
                       SHANE
What are we going to do about this
shit?
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
Well Dante should be back in a
couple of weeks. So until then.
Well Roee, Trevor you know what to
            (MORE)

100.

                       JUSTIN (cont'd)
do.
                                                            
Trevor hands Roee a drawing with a donkey having sex with a
rooster that reads: Temporarily out of service. Roee hangs
it on the door.
                                                            
They all look at the sign and smile.
                                                            
                       ROEE
Zeen.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
Where the hell is Clive?
                                                            
                       SHARON
      (looking at her
       lip)
He took off with some girl he met
in the bathroom. I can't find my
canker cream strangely enough. But
that Vinegar really did the trick.
My date is totally getting tongue
tonight. Woo!
                                                            
                       TREVOR
      (to Shane)
You finally gonna punch out?
                                                            
                       SHANE
Its been a long time coming.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
Don't worry about it. I'll fix it
tomorrow and add in like 8 hours
to your cheque. Lets just get the
fuck outta here. Oh by the way
Shane your fired.
                                                            
Justin and Shane smile at one another.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Hey Justin do you have the spare
key? Sandy and I want to take a
last look around at this place.
Being as though I'm fired and
everything.
                                                            
Justin throws them the key and he walks out with Trevor and
Roee (who is holding a bag of food).

Sandy and Shane run to the back.


101.

It's dark and quiet for a minute.

Drunk customer stands up and yawns.
                                                            
                       DRUNK CUSTOMER
      (looking around)
Man I'm hungry.
                                                            
He walks into the girls washroom and sees all the food on
the ground. He drops to his knees and starts eating it all.
He passes out in the mess.
                                                            
 
EXT. HDBJ - FRONT DOORS - NIGHT
                                                            
Reny, with (a bruised face) walks up to Justin and Roee.
Roee hands him a bag of food.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
      (to Reny)
So are you working tomorrow?
                                                            
                       RENY
      (eating a burger)
For what!
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
For food!
                                                            
                       RENY
Fuck ya!
                                                            
Reny starts shoving hands fulls of food down his throat.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - STOCK ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Sandy and Shane sitting against the wall in the stock room.
Sandy feeds Shane a fry.
                                                            
                       SHANE
I can tell you this. I'm not going
to miss these fries.
                                                            
                       SANDY
Are you going to miss me?
                                                            
                       SHANE
No.
                                                            
Sandy punches him in the arm.
                                                            

102.

                       SHANE (cont'd)
      (holding his arm.)
How can I miss you when I plan to
spend every day with you?
                                                            
                       SANDY
      (leaning in
       closely)
Good save.
                                                            
Just as they lean in close they here a voice.
                                                            
                       TERRANCE (O.S.)
      (psychotic)
Sandy, Burger down.
                                                            
                       SHANE
It can't be.
                                                            
                       SANDY
      (smiling)
Either way it ruined the mood.
                                                            
They both get up and walk out of the stock room.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - MANAGEMENT OFFICE - NIGHT
                                                            
Sandy and Shane are walking by and notice the computer says
password incorrect.
                                                            
                       SANDY
      (looking at Shane)
5 bucks says I can guess his
password in one shot.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Deal.
                                                            
Sandy sits down and types something. The screen logs in.
                                                            
                       SHANE
What was it?
                                                            
                       SANDY
      (mocking Terrance)
Burger down.
                                                            
They walk out the doors for the final time.
                                                            
 

103.

EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT
                                                            
Sharon opens her front door.

Her Date FRED is standing there.
                                                            
                       FRED
You look gorgeous. Are you ready?
                                                            
Sharon smiles. Her canker is gone. They start to walk
towards the car. Fred opens the door for her and she is
about to step when someone yells.
                                                            
                       RANDOM CUSTOMER (O.S.)
Oh my god your going on a date
with the nasty canker chick.
                                                            
                       SHARON
      (to Fred)
Hang on one second.
                                                            
Sharon walks over to Random customer and just as he's about
to speak, Sharon knees him in the stomach, and punches him 5
times. She puts him in a head lock, throws his head in the
car and proceeds to slam the door on his head several times.
                                                            
                       SHARON
      (looking up at
       Fred)
Can we give my friend a ride?
                                                            
Fred is frozen with fear.
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
THE FOLLOWING SCENES TAKE PLACE DURING THE CREDITS
                                                            
Drunk customer and Angry lady are drinking in the living
room. Young Child (Toddy) is watching T.V. They are
watching the Episode of Booked that took place at the HDBJ.
                                                            
                       ANGRY LADY
Toddy your sitting to close to the
fucking T.V.
                                                            
                       DRUNK CUSTOMER
Hey I thought we talked about
this. You have to lighten up.
                                                            
                       ANGRY LADY
Yes I know, your right.
                                                            

104.

Angry lady walks up to Toddy and kisses him on the cheek.
She gives him another kiss that looks a little too sensual.
                                                            
                       YOUNG CHILD
What is the matter with you Mom?
                                                            
                       DRUNK CUSTOMER
Jesus honey I told you to lighten
up not loosen up.
                                                            
 
INT. HDBJ - MANAGEMENT OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Roee is watching booked in the managers office. He is
wearing the manager uniform.
                                                            
The following is showing on TELEVISION:
                                                            
                       DANTE
I guess when I really reflect on
everything I deserved the beating
I got. I should have been more up
front with Melissa. At the same
you can tell by the footage why I
may have been scared.
                                                            
The big fight is showing on TELEVISION:

Back to Roee sitting in the managers chair.
                                                            
                       ROEE
Terrance...Burger down.
                                                            
Terrance walks by with his head down.
                                                            
 
INT. USED CAR DEALERSHIP - DAY
                                                            
Justin is watching Dante booked on Television.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
      (aloud)
You guys have to see this.
                                                            
Reggi and Veto walk over.
                                                            
                       REGGI
Oh, oh, oh, oh Goi. Look what we
have here.
                                                            

105.

                       VETO
We totally saved you from that
hell hole goi.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
Maybe. We have some good times
though. That place did make me a
better person.
                                                            
Reggi and Veto nod and shrug their shoulders.
                                                            
                       JUSTIN
      (looking to his
       right)
Hey Steven, wash your fucking
clothes. Don't even think about
getting in the car with that
jacket.
                                                            
 
INT. HIP INDIANS HOME - NIGHT
                                                            
Hip Indian and his two friends are watching the HDBJ brawl
on the Television.

They are all jumping and throwing punches in the air.
                                                            
                       HIP INDIAN
We totally got sweet fucking shots
in on those cock swaddlers.
                                                            
They all start wrestling.
                                                            
 
INT. SHANE'S ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Sandy and Shane lying on his bed. They are watching booked.

The following is shown on Television:
Dante with his arm around Rainbow. They both look really
beat up.
                                                            
                       DANTE
      (referring to
       Rainbow)
It was worth it. I love her.
                                                            
                       RAINBOW
What is that?
                                                            
                       DANTE
What is what?
                                                            

106.

                       RAINBOW
That shine, that glitter. What is
that?
                                                            
BACK TO: Sharon and Sandy laughing.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Can you put it on sleep? I have to
get some rest. We have scouts
checking us out tomorrow.
                                                            
                       SANDY
      (kissing him on
       the neck)
Are you sure you can't stay up for
5 more minutes.
                                                            
                       SHANE
Alright then. Please drive thru.
                                                            
Sandy jumps on his and they start kissing.

The CAMERA PULLS BACK and turns over to the TELEVISION:
Melissa on T.V.
                                                            
                       NORDSTROM (O.S.)
So what if you had to do it all
again? Would you be as violent?
                                                            
                       MELISSA
      (intensity in her
       eyes)
There is no if, Kent? It's when.
And I will do it the same way. If
not worse.
                                                            
We end with numerous shots of Morbio assaulting drive thru's
everywhere.
                                                            


THE END


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From Andrew Oplas Date 3/13/2007 ***
I think the story is original and well-written. The dialogue is strong from start to finish, and characters are dynamic and interesting. I wonder if the story can remain dynamic and whole throughout without any scenes outside the drive-thru. Overall, great potential.

From Danny Date 3/12/2007 ***1/2
Great Screenplay! Loved it!


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