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Residential Evil
by Americo Galli (thefirstbritishpope@yahoo.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ****
A Comedy About Zombies. Short story.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

INT. LUKE'S HOUSE - LUKE'S ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Luke lays in his bed half asleep as his alarm clock goes
off; he slams his fist down on it and knocks it over. He
gets up and yawns then looks at the floor and picks up his
clock and places it back on the table it was on.
                                                            
                       NARRARATOR (VO)
The dead shall rise to do the only
thing that comes naturally to
them... Feast apon the living.
                                                            
Luke scratchs his head and walks into the living room and
lets out a large yawn. He sit's down on the couch and throws
his arms back over the sides of it. Andrew is already on the
couch watching the news.
                                                            
                       NARRARATOR (VO)
There is an elite team that will
bring downt his menace with such
untold skills learned from...
                                                            
The camera pans over to Dennis whos is sitting to the right
of Andrew and then zooms out while Mike walks in an sits
down next to Luke. Andrew flips through the channels. A man
talks about "The dead have begun to..." but is cut of as the
channel is again changed. Luke snatchs the remote out of
Andrews hands and Andrew hits him on the shoulder. Luke lets
out a little scream and then reachs forward grabbing an
X-Box controller which is on the table infront of him.
                                                            
                       LUKE
Wanna play some Halo?
                                                            
Luke looks at Andrew and Dennis then to Mike.
                                                            
                       NARRARATOR (VO)
Their couch!
                                                            
                       ANDREW
Yeah that sounds good to me.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Same here.
                                                            
Andrew, Dennis and Mike reach forward all grabbing their
controllers and begin to play Halo. As the game draws on
they let out random insults about each other on how bad they
are playing. The camera pans upwards to show the four

2.

friends playing X-box while there backs are towards the
window. The camera then starts to focus in on the window
preparing for something horrorific. As they play people
outside run past the window screaming in horror as zombies
follow close behind them. A few people are grabbed by the
zombies and kick and scream as they are eaten alive. One
girl is grabbed by the foot and dragged behind a fence
kicking and screaming. Once she is out of view blood flies
out from behind the fence. The streets then clear out and
Luke hits a button and turns around.
                                                            
                       ANDREW
Why did you pause the game?
                                                            
                       LUKE
      (Confused)
I thought I heard something...
                                                            
                       MIKE
It's just you immagination! Let's
get back to the game!
                                                            
                       LUKE
      (Relieved)
You are probably right.
                                                            
Luke unpauses the game and they continue to shoot each
other. After a few more moments Luke throws down his
controller and screams in agony. Then he picks it back up
and continues to play the game.
                                                            
 
EXT. EMPTY STREET - NIGHT
                                                            
The word RESIDENTIAL smashes into the screen then EVIL drips
down from below it in blood.
                                                            
 
EXT. LOCAL SUPERMARKET - OUTSIDE THE DOORS - NIGHT
                                                            
Luke bangs on the glass yelling out.
                                                            
                       LUKE
Hello!? Hello!? Is anyone in
there?
                                                            
Andrew walks up to him rubbing his sleeves and shivering.
                                                            
                       ANDREW
God it got really cold out here...
Is it just me? It did get really
cold out here right?
                                                            
Luke slaps his head and turns around.
                                                            

3.

                       LUKE
      (Angry)
Jesus christ! You wan't to
complain about anything else?
                                                            
Luke looks around and notices something.
                                                            
                       LUKE (Cont.)
      (Relieved)
Thank god! A vending machine!
                                                            
                       ANDREW
What good will that do us?
                                                            
                       LUKE
Well... we came here for food and
drink right? Better then nothing!
                                                            
                       ANDREW
What ever...
                                                            
Luke walks off while Andrew walks over towards the car. He
notices a girl in a red dress leaning into the car's driver
side window. She has a really nice figure and while you can
only see the back of her, it is clear she is a very
attractive girl. As he looks at her the song Lady In Red
starts to play over it.
                                                            
                       ANDREW
Ooo.. I could be in love!
Cha-ching!
                                                            
Andrew walks over to her and leans up against the car and
places his hands on the roof.
                                                            
                       ANDREW (Cont.)
As soon as I saw you... I knew you
were the one!
                                                            
The girl doesn't do anything. Andrew clears his throat.
                                                            
                       ANDREW (Cont.)
So.. What are you doing tonight?
Want to go out and catch a flick
or something?
                                                            
Andrew leans over to his left to spray some mouth spray into
his mouth and starts to brush himself off. The lady pulls
herself out of the car to reveal a pale face with blood
smeared all over. Andrew starts to talk as he turns around.
                                                            

4.

                       ANDREW (Cont.)
I was thinking that we go and see
you know something...
                                                            
He turns around and jumps at the sight of her.
                                                            
                       ANDREW
      (Frightened)
OH SWEET JESUS!
                                                            
The lady flings her head around and tackles Andrew trying to
bite him, Andrew pushes her away trying to defend himself
from the crazy lady. Luke is walking towards them wistling
while he juggles some food.
                                                            
                       ANDREW
      (Frightened)
LUKE! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!
                                                            
                       LUKE
      (Surprised)
Holy shit!
                                                            
Luke drops the food and runs up to Andrew and performs a
punt-like kick to her head, knocking her off of Andrew.
Andrew scrambles away from her and jumps to Luke's side. The
girl gets up, tilts her head around a bit and starts to moan
out in agony. She raises her arms forward and slowly walks
towards them. Luke and Andrew step backwards into another
man who is acting just like the lady in red. They turn
around to realize they are surrounded by a good four or five
people who are moaning in agony as they walk towards them.
                                                            
                       LUKE
There is some weird hibi-jibbie
vodoo shit going on down here in
Zombie Town!
                                                            
                       ANDREW
There is no such thing as zombies!
There must be a resonable
explination!
                                                            
Luke and Andrew start to run from the "creatures" in the
parking lot as they try to get to their car.
                                                            
                       LUKE
      (Scared)
Zombie! Zombie! Zombie!
                                                            
                       ANDREW
Stop saying the Z word!
                                                            
 

5.

INT. LUKE'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Dennis and Mike sit on the couch playing a video game
together. In the background to the side you can see zombies
leaning up against the window kind of flopping around as
they try to get through the glass. Luke and Andrew bust
through the door and attempt to slam it shut in the
background but it gets stuck on a hand that is reaching in.
Andrew grabs a broom and starts to slap it until it pulls
out and Luke can slam the door shut. He locks it up and
leans back on it panting for breath. Dennis and Mike get up,
kind of dazed and out of it.
                                                            
                       DENNIS
      (Hungry)
Woo, where have you two been for
the last thirty minutes?
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (Angry)
Yeah! And where is the food?
                                                            
Luke is still panting and Andrew is holding onto the handle
of the door to keep himself up as he breaths.
                                                            
                       LUKE
      (Breathless)
ZOMBIES!
                                                            
                       DENNIS
      (Confused)
What? Zombies? Dude we are playing
Halo not RE.
                                                            
                       LUKE
      (Angry)
YOU DON'T NOTICE THE FUCKING
ZOMBIES OUTSIDE!?
                                                            
The camera pans over to the window where a good four or five
zombies are banging on the window trying to get in.
                                                            
                       MIKE
So that's what that banging was!
                                                            
                       LUKE
Quick! Block the door!
                                                            
Luke and Andrew run into the living room, grab a tree and
place it infront of the door under the handle.
                                                            

6.

                       LUKE
That should keep them out!
                                                            
Andrew runs over to the windows and gives Luke a thumbs up
and chuckles.
                                                            
                       ANDREW
      (Relieved)
Yes! They are leaving!
                                                            
Luke walks into the hallway and places hands on his hips.
                                                            
                       LUKE
      (Pleased)
Hah! Zombies zero! Luke one!
                                                            
Suddenly creaking can be heard from the kitchen where the
back doors handle turns and the door flings open. A zombie
starts to walk in through it.
                                                            
                       LUKE
I really didn't see that coming.
Smart zombies... Who'd have known?
                                                            


FADE OUT.


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From Mike Hancho Date 2/27/2007 ****
dude, this is seriously hilarious!


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