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The knee pit
by Shaun & Justin Flewelling (shaunrothman@yahoo.ca)

Rated: R   Genre: Mockumentary   User Review: ***
SHORT FILM based on a man obsessed with the female knee pit.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

INT. DARK ROOM - DAY
                                                            
BLACK SCREEN

KNEE PIT: The Knee pit (or bandari, or bendis-kneaus ) is
the area or cuplet on the human body directly under the
joint where the knee connects to the thy.
                                                            
                       CASSAR (V.O.)
I like knee pits. I do not know
why?
                                                            
The song "Walking on sunshine' begins to play as we see a
montage of womans legs as they walk the congested streets of
Toronto.
                                                            
                       CASSAR (V.O.)
Sometimes people ask me what makes
a good knee pit.
                                                            
Different celebrity knees pits are shown on the screen as he
continues to speak.
                                                            
                       CASSAR (cont'd)
And aside from the smooth skin and
unwrinkled bend, I just can't seem
to find the words.
                                                            
Cassar flipping through magazines with a look of disgust on
his face.
                                                            
                       CASSAR (V.O.)
HshshshhssshhshsBut I can tell you
this. I am not turned on by a fat,
pale, knee pit, with noticeable
wrinkles and dark green veins.
                                                            
A picture of a knee pit as described above is shown for a
few seconds.
                                                            
                       CASSAR (V.O.)
HhhhhhhhhhhhSome people think that
my fetish is weird, but it is no
more odd than the foot or anal
fetish.
                                                            
show a few pictures of womans feet and asses.
                                                            
 

2.

INT. BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
Jen is packing her bags and Cassar is noticeably trying to
stop her.
                                                            
                       CASSAR
Don't leave. I didn't do anything
wrong.
                                                            
She heads toward the door and he steps in front of her.
                                                            
                       JEN
I'm fed up. It was weird enough
when you told me about your sick
little fetish, but to bring camera
men into our apartment to film
it... well that's just taking it
too far.
                                                            
She pushes him out of the way and heads out the door.
                                                            
Cassar sits on his bed with his face buried in his hands.
                                                            
                       CASSAR (V.O.)
I asked my girlfriend if I could
lick her knee pit and she struck
me just under my left eye.
                                                            
 
INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY
                                                            
A prostitute is laying on a bed in her underwear rubbing the
back of her leg while chewing a piece of gum.
                                                            
                       CASSAR (V.O.)
Prostitutes may be the only ones
who don't give me such a hard time
about my fetish. But sometimes I
have to pay extra.
                                                            
The prostitute caresses the back of her knee.
                                                            
                       PROSTITUTE
I guess it's fucking weird and
sometimes I do feel violated.
                                                            
She takes the gum out of her mouth and puts it on her knee
pit.
                                                            
                       PROSTITUTE
      (looking at the
       camera)
But he pays well...you know?
      (looks at Cassar)
            (MORE)

3.

                       PROSTITUTE (cont'd)
You want to lick this gum off my
knee pit.
                                                            
She lights a cigarette and takes a large drag.
                                                            
                       CASSAR
      (getting up off
       the ground)
Yes I do.
                                                            
                       PROSTITUTE
It's eighty bucks.
                                                            
                       CASSAR
      (leaving the room)
It's worth it you know.
                                                            
She takes another large drag of her cigarette and laughs to
herself.
                                                            
                       PROSTITUTE
I've made about 2000.00 dollars
off this freak in the past two
weeks so what does it matter if he
wants to lick the back of my knee.
Take a look at it. I don't know
whats so fucking special about it.
It's money.
                                                            
Cassar walks back into the room.
                                                            
                       CASSAR
      (to the camera)
I'm sorry your going to have to
step out for a moment. There are
just some things I can't allow you
to see.
                                                            
Cassar guides the camera woman out of the room and closes
the door.
                                                            
 
EXT. PARK - DAY
                                                            
Cassar is sitting on a park bench gazing at all the people
surrounding him. (REMOVED DO TO LAZINESS).
                                                            
                       CASSAR (V.O.)
Some people like to ask me where I
can fufill my knee pit fetishes.
And you know there are websites
and what have you. But I usually
tell them that the park is to knee
            (MORE)

4.

                       CASSAR (cont'd)
fetish as Mcdonalds is to
hamburgers.
                                                            
A beautiful girl lying on geass in tight short mini shorts
and a white tank top. She is laying on her stomach with her
elbows dug into her towel as she is reading a book.Her legs
are rotating, beding up and down.
                                                            
Cassar is watching this girl and he tries to hide his
noticeable erection.
                                                            
                       CASSAR (V.O.)
I used to do things and like shock
myself. But now nothing that I do
really surprises me.
                                                            
Cassar crawls over toward her. As he gets close he sticks
out his tongue moves closer.

Her leg swings up and hits him hard in the head. She is
startled and gets up quickly, puts on her shoes and briskly
walks away.
                                                            
He pulls a zip lock bag from his pocket and collects 7
blades of grass.
                                                            
                       CASSAR (V.O.)
Anything a beautiful knee pit
touches, I tend to keep.
                                                            
He puts each blade of grass in the zip lock bag, takes a
sniff, and finally locks it shut.
                                                            
 
INT. CITY STREETS - DAY
                                                            
Cassar is walking down the street with his friend JOHNNY.
                                                            
                       CASSAR (V.O.)
My best friend Johnny doesn't
share my fetish but I think that
either understands it or at least
accepts it.
                                                            
 
INT. FOOD COURT - DAY
                                                            
Johnny is sitting in a food court eating french fries.
                                                            

5.

                       JOHNNY
I don't think it's normal. Ever
since he told me I've felt
uncomfortable around him.
                                                            
CUT TO: shot of Cassar showing some girls his book.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY (V.O.)
He carries around this book with
pictures of celebrity's knees and
when people ask him about it he
openly shares the pictures with
them. It's just an unacceptable
fetish and it embaresses me.
That's all.
                                                            
Back to Johnny as he gets up from the table and leaves. A
woman walks by and the camera focuses on the back of her
knee following her as she walks.
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Leon (Cassar's adopted father) is working out on the
bow-flex.
He is doing the bench press, pumping hard and breathing
heavily.
                                                            
                       CASSAR (V.O.)
I think my dad gets it.
                                                            
He finally stops for a moment to acknowledge the camera.
                                                            
TIGHT SHOT: of Leon relaxing on the bow flex bench.
                                                            
                       LEON
      (trying to catch
       his breathe.)
Ya he's adopted, but I don't think
that has anything to do with it.
Legs, titties, ass, feet, pubic
hair,pregnant woman, urinating or
shitting on eachother, shit there
all fetishes. So why should one be
worse than the other. Some guys
like legs. My son just happens to
like a certain part of the leg. I
really don't see the big fucking
deal. I can't see why people would
want to see a video about my son's
particular fetish. It doesn't make
any fucking sense.
                                                            
 

6.

INT. KITCHEN - DAY
                                                            
Bobby Alleyene (Cassar's grandfather) is having a tea his
kitchen table.
                                                            
                       BOBBY
It's not fucking right. Jesus
Christ. What the fuck is a knee
pit anyways.
                                                            
INSERT:DEFINITION
THE KNEE PIT: THE BEND IN THE BACK OF THE KNEE; SIMILAR TO
THE BEND IN THE ELBOW.
                                                            
                       BOBBY
Well it's still fucked.
                                                            
Pictures or Video of Ally Mcbeal is used as Cassar explains
how his fetish started. (either the actual video or a piece
of the script will be shown here).
                                                            
                       CASSAR (V.O.)
My fetish started when I was
watching an episode of Ally Mcbeal
and Ling teased Richard with her
knee pit trick.
                                                            
THE FOLLOWING IS EITHER SCRIPT OR VIDEO.
                                                            
                       LING
Do my knee
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Ling.
                                                            
                       LING
Just do it.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Well...No. No. I won‘t be used.
                                                            
                       LING
We can’t deny are passions any
longer can we? You want me and I
want you. So let’s just be honest.
You do my knee and I‘ll give you
hair.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
You‘re pinching my spinal cord.
                                                            
 

7.

INT. CITY STREETS - DAY
                                                            
Cassar is walking down the busy streets of Toronto.
                                                            
                       CASSAR (V.O.)
I was curious to see how people
would react to my fetish so I
asked some random people walking
down the streets.
                                                            
Cassar approaches 5 different people.
                                                            
 
INT. BENCH - DAY
                                                            
Cassar is sitting on a bench and is looking directly into
the camera.
                                                            
                       CASSAR
People just don't understand me.
                                                            
                       CAMERA WOMAN (O.S.)
I understand you.
                                                            
                       CASSAR
Can I see your knee pits?
                                                            
Cassar takes the camera from her and zooms in on her knee
pit. He caresses her knee pit slowly.
                                                            
                       CAMERA WOMAN
      (giggling)
That feels kind of nice.
                                                            
                       CASSAR (O.S.)
Yes.
(beat)
It's delicious.
                                                            
He zooms out and we see the camera woman smiling.
                                                            
 
EXT. CITY STREETS - DAY
                                                            
Cassar walks the streets looking every girls knee pits up
and down as we hear "I would walk 500 miles" playing in the
backround.
                                                            


THE END


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From Jimmy Date 3/13/2007 ****
Very, very good...except it was just a little bit disturbing.

From Frank Klempar Date 3/4/2007 1/2
A Kind of interesting topic. Rare Idea that's for sure. Not bad.

From zak Date 3/3/2007 ****
As incredibly bizzare as this script is, it is entertaing as hell. There is a very black kind of quality to the humor that I just love. I also admire the fact that it is short; too long would totally kill it. So good job, and fix some of your damn spelling errors.

From Steve Date 3/3/2007 ****
That was easily one of the most enteratainingly original shorts I've read in a long time...I mean, it's screwed...It's beyond comprehension a lot of times - I found myself re-reading a lot of dialogue just to understand what the hell was being stated...but, I got it. I like it a lot. The dialogue is crisp enough to keep someone entertained and the plot itself, while an aquired taste - kept me intrigued...My only suggestion - flesh this out to feature length...then no one will know what hit em... - Stephen E. M

From Eric Swinderman Date 3/2/2007 **
Right off the bat I was turned off because of the misspelling of "thigh" Lots of other typos followed.. Unique idea though


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