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Un Jour dans la Ville. WIP
by Anthony Lashgari (antiflag_punk0@hotmail.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Drama   User Review: ***1/2
Translating to "A Day in the City", "Un Jour dans la Ville" is a drama set in the span of one-day in recent Downtown LA/ San fernando area. 6 stories climacting at the same time at 10:30 p.m. Stories: 1- A boyfriend want's his up and coming porn actress to stop her career, and begin a life with him. She has other plans, leading her boyfriend to be involved in a kidnapping situation with her "Agent". 2:An insomniatic taxi Driver witnesses a rape, and when he takes control of the situation, it ultimately puts his life in jeopardy. 3:An Elderly couple's divorce-in-progress may have a twist of fate when the wife (who has become friendly with cocaine during her "troubled times") is found unconscience and overdosing. 4: A BUM's normal day is shown, suffering from starvation, alcoholism, humiliation, and sickness. 5: A lonely man in his late-30s spends the last day of his mother's life with her, while truths and lies fold about. The Mother is holding a very dark secret from her son, and has been since the day he was born. 6: An LAPD Sergeant hunts down a group of suspected bank robbers planning to his another "Chain" of robberies. Only, the Sergeant doesn't realize that one of the robbers is his younger brother. Will this affect the outcome of the crime? Just another Day in the City. WIP. Let me know what you think.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



EXT. STREET CORNER (IN FRONT OF 'HOLLYWOOD' SIGN) - DAY
                                                            
Cut to a profile shot of a lit cigarette underlining the
'HOLLYWOOD' sign. Truck back to reveal a BUM on the other
end of the cigarette, enjoying the only bit of happiness
that he has in his life. The sun is rising over the
Hollywood hills, and yet another day in the LA Area is about
to take place.
                                                            
Enjoying his cigarette, he begins to walk down the street,
away from the Sign. Upon reaching an allyway, he looks to
his left and right, and proceeds down.

He walks to the trashcan and begins rummaging through it. At
this time, the camera turns away from the trashcan and
trucks forward to the street, concentrating on the few cars
thatt go by, BUM enters on screen again, with a half eaten,
rotten looking Egg McMuffin.

Crane up, and over across the street; continue down the
street to an approaching yellow Taxi.

HOOD. TRAVIS PRESLEY is the driver of this Taxi. His eyes
are bloodshot, with bags that hang under them. Something
catches his attention to his left, and pulls over to a
complete stop.
A beautiful, semi-big breastead woman dressed as if coming
from a party, carrying her purse steps in, looking as if
she's had a "long night" enters the backseat. This is
NICOLE.

(NOTE: At points during this scene, CUT back and forth to
Shots of TAXI on FREEWAY, and DRIVING THROUGH STREETS, etc.)
                                                            
                       NICOLE
1813 Fillmore street please. It's
in the Valley.
                                                            
TRAVIS nods his head and begins to drive. About 15 seconds
pass, and NICOLE lights a Cigarette; Preferrably Camel
Lights.
10 more seconds pass when the silence is finally broken.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
You look tired--
                                                            
She searches for his Taxi license I.D.
                                                            
                       NICOLE (cont'd)
Travis Presley.
                                                            

2.

Travis stares at her in his rear view mirror as if almost
recognizing her.
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
Yeah, a little bit.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
A little bit? Honey, it looks as
if you have been up all night
partying.
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
Up all night, yes. Partying, no.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Aw, that's no fun.
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
Yeah, tell me about it.
                                                            
PAUSE
                                                            
                       TRAVIS (cont'd)
So.. you look really familiar, and
please don't be offended if I ask
you, but. Are you--
                                                            
                       NICOLE
      (Interupting)
Yes. I am.
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
Wow. (continues to look in his
rearview in amazment) Wow. I don't
want you to think I am like this
obssesive stocking freak or
anything, But wow. I love your
work.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
My work? No one has called it
"work" before...and if I remember
correctly, I got in YOUR car.
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
Yeah, that's true.
                                                            
After another brief moment of silence.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
So are you related to Elvis
Presley?
                                                            

3.

                       TRAVIS
The "KING"? No, I wish.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
And I bet you have been asked that
same question your whole life.
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
What? If we are related?
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Bingo.
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
Yeah, in fact I have.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Doesn't it bother you?
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
No. No, it doesn't bother me. It
makes me feel noticed. I am sure
that if i had a different last
name, I wouldn't have been able to
talk to Half as many people as I
have in my life. It just gives me
this feeling that I actually
matter in this world. Well, not me
specifically, more-so the "Presley
name".
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Well hell, you're very optamistic.
Have you ever lied?
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
That's not a fair question,
everyone has lied one way or
anoth--
                                                            
                       NICOLE
      (Interupting)
--No, no. Lied about being related
to him.
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
Oh, no.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Oh come on yes you have.
                                                            
TRAVIS cracks a slow smile.
                                                            

4.

                       TRAVIS
Well, ONE of the times--
                                                            
                       NICOLE
--You mean there has been MORE
than ONE time?
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
      (Chuckles)
Let's not go there. There was this
one time where I was graduating
from College.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Where?
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
Where what?
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Where did you graduate from?
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
Oh, UC Santa Cruz.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
WHEW! Party school! I wish I went
to college.
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
No you don't, it's a waste of
fucking time if you ask me. I
graduated with a degree in Free
Lance Journalism, but yet, I'm
here 24/7 driving a taxicab in one
of the biggest shit holes in this
world.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Interesting point. But continue
with that story.
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
Well I would but, looks like we
are here. 1813 Fillmore, right?
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Oh, yeah that's right; I haven't
even been paying attention to the
driving. That's a good thing if
you can take my mind off of life
with a conversation to a complete,
but very nice, stranger. Looks
            (MORE)

5.

                       NICOLE (cont'd)
like you owe me a conversation Mr.
Presely, and an autograph.
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
      (Imitiating Elvis)
But of course, Anything... for the
lady...
                                                            
with a Laugh, she flicks her cigarette out the door, grabs
her purse, and exits. She walks to the Driver window which
is now rolled down.
                                                            
                       NICOLE (cont'd)
How much do I owe you?
                                                            
Travis intentionally looks at the meter which is not even
on.
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
      (Sarcastic)
Whoops, guess I forgot to start
the meter.
                                                            
Travis smiles at her. She smiles back and slyly hands hims a
10$ bill.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Thank you stranger.
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
That really isn't necessary ma'am.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
By all means. You've been one of
the friendliest stranger's I've
met. Take care now, drive safe.
                                                            
The Taxi drives off as NICOLE walks away from it. We follow
her into and through an apartment complex. She reaches the
door and opens it. Setting down her purse, she takes her
shoes off and enters her bathroom. HOLD. She exits in her
panties and a t-shirt. In her Bedroom she goes.
                                                            
 
INT. BF/GF BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
CU of a man's closed eyes, and upon hearing a door open, he
slowly opens them, waking up. His eyes move from who ever
walked in the door, to the CLOCK, [CLOCK READING 7:13 a.m.]
back to the door.
                                                            

6.

                       LEVI
      (with a tired tone)
You just got back?
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Yeah, it lasted a little longer
than I thought.
                                                            
                       LEVI
      (frustrated)
Yeah, just a little...
                                                            
She thus makes her way to the bed, and throws her arms
around him and slowly kisses him, with passion. He stops
kissing her and turns his head. She lays her head down on
his chest.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
      (Playfully)
Oh, you can't be mad at me...
                                                            
                       LEVI
      (With an attitude)
I waited for you all night. I ate
by myself, got drunk by myself,
and once again fell asleep by
myself.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
      (Sad)
Baby, I'm--
                                                            
                       LEVI
--Sorry, yeah I know. You workin'
today?
                                                            
He leaves her arms and proceeds to wake up sitting up in his
bed, wiping his eyes.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
      (Hesitant)
Yeah... I have a shoot at 11 or
12.
                                                            
LEVI stands up and begins to put on a white t-shirt, and
black dress pants.
                                                            
                       LEVI
      (Attitude building)
Well you should get your sleep
then.
                                                            

7.

                       NICOLE
Why are you being like this?
                                                            
                       LEVI
      (Very upset now,
       Voice is raised)
Do I not have a right to be like
this? My girlfriend comes home at
7 in the fucking morning, smelling
like strawberry fucking daqueries
and cigarettes. I have no idea
where the fuck you have been, when
you promised me you would be home.
we had plans last night Nik, and
yet again they were fucking
ruined. Your phone has been off
all night, no call, no text, no
nothing.Do you know how that
feels? Awful. I wouldn't even know
if you were dead or not. Oh, and
to top it off i know that my
girlfriend is going to get fucked
by another guy's dick at around
12, and THAT'S a fact. So if you
can't understand why I am being
like this, then you are completely
clueless.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
I am not going to talk about this
again. What the hell were you
expecting when you started dating
me?
                                                            
                       LEVI
A girl, not a slut. I thought I
could change the way you looked at
it, but I guess not.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Yeah, I guess not.
                                                            
                       LEVI
I can't believe you. Do you have
no heart? Can you not feel the way
I feel if I were to stick my cock
into someone else?
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Yeah of course I can, but what
else am I going to do? It isn't
easy to change professions in an
instant.
                                                            

8.

                       LEVI
Profession? I am sick of you
referring it to that.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Ok, let's not go there again. My
taxi driver, in fact, was a fan of
my "work".
                                                            
                       LEVI
Nicole, I don't know how else to
get this through your head. I love
you, ok? I am IN love with you.
You being who and what you are was
like a gift from God when we were
first dating. Baby, it hurts. My
heart is starting to hurt so bad.
The girl that I love is willingly
giving up her body to some other
douche bag, while I have to stay
here and just think about
everything you are doing. Do you
know that I can't even have sex
with you anymore without thinkning
about how many times you already
had sex that day?
                                                            
                       NICOLE
It's not like I am cheating on you
god damnit. I am not going to talk
about this again. You bring it up
every week. I am sorry that it has
to be this way, but what the fuck
were you expecting?! you are
dating a pornstar. This is my
life, this is who I am, this is
what I am.
                                                            
                       LEVI
You're not a star.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
      (screaming)
Fuck you!
                                                            
                       LEVI
Do you like it?
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Do I what?
                                                            

9.

                       LEVI
Do you like it? Do you like this?
This life that you have chosen for
yourself? Do you like it?
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Oh god, stop it.
                                                            
                       LEVI
      (Yelling)
DO - YOU - LIKE - IT?!
                                                            
                       NICOLE
      (Yelling back)
OF COURSE I DON'T GOD DAMNIT! OF
COURSE I DON'T!
                                                            
Down the stiars she walks, and into the kitchen she goes.
She prepares a pot of coffee, and leaves it to brew. She
enters her living room again, and this time we notice a body
on the couch with a cover pulled over his head.
                                                            
LEVI walks up to her and grabs her face, holding it like
Michael does with Fredo in the God Father Part II ("You
broke my heart...). PUSH
                                                            
                       LEVI
      (Calm, passionate)
Then why do you do this to
yourself. Why do you keep going
back? start a life with me
already, Nicole. Start a real
life.
                                                            
NICOLE BEGINS TO TEAR, AND CRY.
                                                            
                       LEVI (cont'd)
Start a real life baby, with me. I
love you, and no matter what
happens in this life or the next
life, I will always love you, but
just remember this before you go,
you will never find anyone else
who loves you as much as me, and I
mean that. I am going to be home
around 2 this afternoon. If you
want to be with me... I'll be
here...
                                                            
Without even a kiss goodbye, he lets go of her face. CAMERA
ON NICOLE. He exits the bedroom, and by the sounds outside,
the front door closes.
                                                            

10.

                                         CUT TO
                                                            
 
INT. LINDA'S BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
CU of LINDA, on her side facing camera. She slowly opens her
eyes which are pointed to the other side of the bed. CUT POV
empty side of bed. CUT CU of LINDA. She sighs, and regrets
waking up. She leaves the camera frame.

Camera is stationary, panning only when needed to keep LINDA
in the shot. She makes her side of the bed, buts a set of
slippers on, and makes her way to the bathroom. HOLD Wait
for her to exit with a robe on. and she makes her way down
stairs.
                                                            
 
INT. LINDA'S LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
                       LINDA
Hey Phil... Phil...
                                                            
She proceeds to wake him up, by gently shaking his shoulder.
                                                            
                       LINDA
You can go sleep in the bed now, I
won't be there. I can't sleep
anymore, so you just, go sleep on
the bed now.
                                                            
The man sits up, zombie-like, and begins to walk out of the
room.
                                                            
                       PHILLIP
When ever you need me to sign
them, just let me know.
                                                            
                       LINDA
      (depressed)
I will...
                                                            
and up the stairs he continues.
                                                            

11.

LINDA takes PHILLIP'S spot on the couch, and covers her legs
with his blanket. She gently pets it, reminding her of
better times with her husband. She turns on the TV and the
News is being televised. While the DIALOUGE of the news is
being heard in the background, LINDA grabs a Coaster sized
Mirror from the table in front of her, and a little baggy of
"Angel Dust". Dumping a small amount on the mirror, she
splits it into 2 lines. With a bend of the head, and a Snort
of the nose, in enters the cocaine. Immediatley after taking
them both back, she has a drink of Coffee.
                                                            
(NOTE: Following conversation will be played during the
cocaine scene)
                                                            
                       N. BRAD
And I'm Brad Andrews. This
morning, our top stories: The
chain of Bank Robberies in the
Downtown area; Connection, or
Coincidence? Also, later: Can new
pharmacudical medication be bought
over the counter? Is this a danger
for your kids?
                                                            
                       N. DARLA
Yes, and near the end of our show,
we are having a special guest, who
will be revealed later. But first,
Here is Cathy Showers with the
weather, and Shawn Ringer with the
Traffic. Good Luck with those Busy
Streets!
                                                            
                                         CUT TO
                                                            
 
EXT. OUTSIDE HENRY'S HOUSE - DAY
                                                            
Henry locks his door and walks down the stoop of his house.
As he walks down the steps he lights a ciggerette. Shoulder
shot of Henry walking down the street smoking. He comes
upon a taxi parked on the side of the road and gets in.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO
                                                            
 
INT. TRAVIS' CAB - DAY
                                                            
Henry enters the cab.
                                                            
                       HENRY
Hospital
                                                            
 

12.

EXT. OUTSIDE HOSPITAL - DAY
                                                            
Travis cab pulls up to the drop off of the hospital.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO
                                                            
 
INT. TRAVIS' CAB - DAY
                                                            
Henry reaches into his wallet and pulls out a few crisp
bills. He hands them to Travis.
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
      (From front seat)
Woah man whats that? You got a
thing against black people?
                                                            
                       HENRY
      (Pauses)
I dont have a problem with black
people. I just hate niggers.
                                                            
He exits the car
                                                            
 
INT. HOSPITAL - DAY
                                                            
He walks at a fast pace in and through the Hospital.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO
                                                            
 
INT. HOSPITAL ELEVATOR - DAY
                                                            
Henry walks in, presses a floor, and waits patiently. HOLD
                                                            
                                         CUT TO
                                                            
 
INT. LILLY'S HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY
                                                            
In walks Henry, anxious and excited to see his mother. As
the audience first sees his mother, she looks disturbing.
Her face is pale, and dripping with sweat. She is hairless
and looks very weak and strains with her words.
                                                            
                       HENRY
How's today then mom?
                                                            
He walks to her and puts his hand on her head, leans down,
and kisses her on the cheek.
                                                            

13.

                       LILLY
I've been better honey... Don't
you look very nice today. I wish
i could say the same for myself.
                                                            
                       HENRY
      (Chuckles)
Mom, you haven't looked more
beautiful. I wear this everyday
thoug, so your eyes must be going.
                                                            
He chuckles lightly again, and so does she. The only
happiness that she has left in this world is the laughter
she has with her son; and being able to be with him.
                                                            
                       LILLY
Yeah but, today it's nice. You
look nice, okay Henry?
                                                            
                       HENRY
Ok Ma'.
                                                            
                       LILLY
Honey, get me some ice, would you?
I wish I could have some water,
but I can't even drink anything.
                                                            
                       HENRY
Sure Ma'.
                                                            
He proceeds to get the ice for her, and walks back over to
her, LILLY raises her hand slightly as if to grab the cup;
she is very weak. HENRY places his hand on top of hers, and
slowly places it back down at her side. HENRY pulls a chair
up next to the bed, and scoops an ice cube into his mother's
mouth with a plastic tan hospital spoon that was found next
to the ice.
                                                            
                       HENRY
      (in a gentle tone)
Tilt your head back a little ma'.
                                                            
HOLD. Cude dissolves in her mouth.
                                                            
                       LILLY
      (Weak)
Turn on the T.V. will you
honey...?
                                                            
                       HENRY
Yeah, here have one more for me.
                                                            

14.

As he proceeds to retrieve another ice cube from the cup,
Camera zooms past the two, towards the T.V. that is
stationed on the top right corner of the wall in front of
them. Slower, Closer...

Henry gets up. Closer... Closer the camera gets.

Henry turns it on.

ZOOM. HOLD

                                                            
                       N. DARLA
--you Shawn and welcome back to
Channel 4 News at 7. I'm Darla
Givens.
                                                            
                       N. BRAD
And I'm Brad Andrews. Now, we
promised that we would discuss new
details about the Bank Robbery
case that has been shaking the
Downtown community with fear.
Apparently, withing the past week,
there has been a chain of bank
robberies in the Downtown area; 4
to be exact. But the only question
that everyone is asking is are
they connected in any way, or a
mere coincidence?
                                                            
Camera zooms back, and back and back at a slow pace.
                                                            
                       N. DARLA
That's right Brad. Although there
have not been any casualties
involved in the robberies, the
suspects are still considered
deadly, carrying pistols, and 12
gauge shot guns. Are they related
in any way if the same guns are
present at each robbery? It seems
as if there is only one man able
to answer that question, and that
is Sergeant Brinkle of the LAPD--
                                                            
 
INT. AL'S BREAKFAST DINER - DAY
                                                            
At this point, The camera is zoomed back and stationed right
next to a man (looking in his 40s), but still pointed
towards the T.V.
                                                            

15.

                       SERGEANT BRINKLEY
--It's 'Brinkley' the dumb blonde
bitch, how many times do I have to
tell her. Turn that shit off Al,
what the fuck do they know?
                                                            
                       AL
      (Sarcastically)
Yeah, whatever you say "BRINKLE".
                                                            
Al laughs to himself, while BRINKLEY's eyes follow him
towards the T.V. BRINKLEY shakes his head.
                                                            
A man OS is heard.
                                                            
                       CORP. RICHARDS.
Hey Serg. the boys are waiting
outside, locked and ready to go.
They are like Teenage boys
anxiously waiting in line for a
Hooker.
                                                            
                       SERGEANT BRINKLEY
Richards, as you can clearly see,
my schedual is full at the moment.
I still have to finish my
breakfast, which consists of all
the food groups. Bacon, the most
delicious, yet punishable food. A
great source of taste, and a good
count of fat. They say the grease
helps with hang overs. Hashbrowns
play the role of Starches or
Grains. Also greasy, yet tastey.
The vegetables in my omelette,
i.e. tomatoes, avocado, and bell
peppers. The cheese on the eggs
reverts to the dairy. And the
fruit, you cannot forget the
fruit.
                                                            
BRINKLEY's waitress walks by him, and he tugs on her shirt
to get her attention.
                                                            
                       SERGEANT BRINKLEY (cont'd)
May I have a cup of fruit darling,
when you get a chance?
                                                            
She nods in recognition.
                                                            
                       SERGEANT BRINKLEY (cont'd)
So, without this very important
meal, with all food groups
            (MORE)

16.

                       SERGEANT BRINKLEY (cont'd)
present, i will still have this
awful fucking hang over. And if i
have this awful fucking hang over,
I am not going to be a happy
little camper like litte Billy
earning a fucking SCOUT BADGE. So,
let me eat my breakfast, drink my
coffee, pay over 12% for a blowjob
by my attractive waitress, wash my
hands, tell her 'Thank you for
this lovely tea party', and i'll
come outside.
                                                            
                       CORP. RICHARDS.
Yeah no problem.
                                                            
                       SERGEANT BRINKLEY
I'm joking. Take a seat.
                                                            
RICHARDS sits down next to BRINKLEY. BRINKLEY takes out a
pack of Camel Lights cigarettes soft pac, and pops one out,
offers it to RICHARDS who immediately refuses.
                                                            
                       SERGEANT BRINKLEY
What are you, an athlete, or just
a homo?
                                                            
RICHARDS takes it and lights his, BRINKLEY follows.
                                                            
                       CORP. RICHARDS.
I'm trying to quit Serg. I got a
little boy on the way, and I gotta
quit the habit.
                                                            
                       SERGEANT BRINKLEY
Habit? If you think pleasure is a
habit, then I am sorry my friend.
But, I DO understand where you're
coming from. congradulations, may
I suggest a name for him?
                                                            
                       CORP. RICHARDS.
By all means, sir.
                                                            
                       SERGEANT BRINKLEY
Adam.
                                                            
BRINKLEY smiles widely.
                                                            
                       CORP. RICHARDS.
I'll keep that in mind. So, how's
YOUR son doing?
                                                            

17.

                       SERGEANT BRINKLEY
Haven't talked to him.
                                                            
                       CORP. RICHARDS.
Haven't talked to him?
                                                            
                       SERGEANT BRINKLEY
Haven't talked to him.
                                                            
                       CORP. RICHARDS.
How long?
                                                            
                       SERGEANT BRINKLEY
      (Hesitant)
A little over 6 months now.
                                                            
                       CORP. RICHARDS.
Damn, it's been that long since
i've asked you that question?
                                                            
                       SERGEANT BRINKLEY
Yup, six god damn long, miserable
months. Cheryl took him and moved
to Sacramento. She's got family
there. Hell, if it makes her
happy.
                                                            
                       CORP. RICHARDS.
Sorry sir.
                                                            
                       SERGEANT BRINKLEY
Nah, don't be sorry. You got it
good kid, a great wife who loves
you, a bouncin' new boy on the
way, making your way up the ranks.
I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if
you surpassed me in becoming a
Lieutenant, you little son of a
bitch.
                                                            
He says this jokingly.
                                                            
                       CORP. RICHARDS.
Yeah, but i'd rather work UNDER
someone than ABOVE them, you know?
                                                            
                       SERGEANT BRINKLEY
Son, in this line of work, you'll
ALWAYS work under someone. Always.
Even the fucking president, don't
even get me started on the
airhead.
                                                            

18.

Moment of silence.
                                                            
                       CORP. RICHARDS.
So how are we going to do this? I
don't think everyone's been
brieffed on what the hell their
role is going to be.
                                                            
                       SERGEANT BRINKLEY
I'll go talk to them.
                                                            
                       CORP. RICHARDS.
Well to be honest sir, I don't
even know what the hell my role
is.
                                                            
BRINKLEY smiles widley again, and pats RICHARDS on the face.
                                                            
                       SERGEANT BRINKLEY
All in good time, my friend.
                                                            
BRINKLEY puts his cigarette out. and stands up, putting on
his trenchcoat.
                                                            
                       CORP. RICHARDS.
Serg, you got any tips for me?
Like, marital advice?
                                                            
BRINKLEY walks next to RICHARDS and bends down to his level.
                                                            
                       SERGEANT BRINKLEY
Don't cheat.
                                                            
BRINKLEY walks off camera. RICHARDS nods his head to
himself.
                                                            
                       CORP. RICHARDS.
Hey Al, let me get a clean cup of
coffee, please for Christ's sake.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO
                                                            
BRINKLEY walking towards the front door of the diner. Right
as he exits, LEVI enters with his apron, the camera begins
to follow LEVI now, into the back of the kitchen where there
are a number of Mexicans cooking.
                                                            


FADE OUT.


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From KIMBERLY JACKSON Date 6/26/2007 ***
The only reason I'm not rating this higher is because IT'S NOT FINISHED!...otherwise, I'd give you four stars. Knowing that all of these people's lives are going to meet at a specific time is intriging. I hope you finish this. Your dialogue is really natural and I feel like I could run into any of your characters on the street tomorrow. Please, finish this! Oh, you may want to work on the title. It caught my attention because I speak French, but for the millions of people who don't, this title works against you...even more so when the scene opens in Hollywood. Try to think of a title that readily connects the reader to your theme/plot. Again, I noticed this was posted back in March, I hope you're still working on it!

From Katy Livingood Date 4/6/2007 ****
I love it so far, Tony. I love the opening scene how the cigarette underlines the hollywood sign. Keep working with it, i think it will be really great when its finished. -Katy

From Brad Smith Date 4/5/2007 ***
This has got a lot of potential, keep it up.


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