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More Romantic Than You
by Tim Moore (timpmoore@gmail.com)

Rated: PG-13   Genre: Comedy   User Review:
NOT YET
RATED

A neurotic romantic comedy that can never get around to romance.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



MORE ROMANTIC THAN YOU

INT. SCENE 1A - AMBER'S HOUSE - NIGHT
                                                            
EXT. SCENE 1B - WALK WITH KELLY - DAY
                                                            
SCENE 1A - CHRIS is in his best friend AMBER's living room,
talking about his day with KELLY. Amber's house is simple
and bare, but in a way that you can tell she has a lot of
money and doesn't want to show it. While there may not be a
lot of stuff, it all costs as more than what Chris will make
in the net 3 years.
                                                            
                       AMBER
So do you like her?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
What?
                                                            
                       AMBER
Chris.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
      (with great
       anguish)
Yeah? Yeah, I guess I do.
                                                            
                       AMBER
So?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Why?
                                                            
                       AMBER
Why what?
                                                            
SCENE 1B - CHRIS IS WALKING WITH KELLY TO GET SOME COFFEE.
                                                            
                       KELLY
What? Is something wrong?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
      (Shrugs it off)
No, why?
                                                            
                       KELLY
What? Well I don't know, you
look...troubled.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
What?
                                                            

2.

                       KELLY
What do you mean what?
                                                            
SCENE 1A
                                                            
                       AMBER
Quit saying what! Why don't you
ask her out?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Oh come on Amber, you know me, I
can't ask a waiter for another
pair of silverware yet alone ask a
girl out that doesn't like me.
                                                            
                       AMBER
How do you know?
                                                            
SCENE 1B
                                                            
                       KELLY
What do you want to know?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Kelly, What do you think of me?
                                                            
                       KELLY
Well...
                                                            
                       CHRIS
      (interjects)
You know what never mind.
                                                            
                       KELLY
No I don't...
                                                            
SCENE 1A
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Just forget about it.
                                                            
                       AMBER
      (pauses)
Well, okay, So anyways I went to
the movies with that guy I...
                                                            
                       CHRIS
I just don't know.
                                                            
                       AMBER
      (sarcastically)
Okay?
                                                            

3.

                       CHRIS
Sorry
                                                            
                       AMBER
Would you just say it!
                                                            
                       CHRIS
I don't feel right.
                                                            
SCENE 1B
                                                            
                       KELLY
Are you okay? Are you sick?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
No, I just feel like I've been
here before.
                                                            
                       KELLY
Deja vu?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
No, I just feel like a fool.
                                                            
                       KELLY
      (smiles)
Maybe because you are?
                                                            
SCENE 1A
                                                            
                       AMBER
Maybe you should just tell her how
you feel?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
I want to but then I picture what
her response will be.
                                                            
SCENE 1B
                                                            
                       KELLY
      (Laughs hard)
                                                            
                       CHRIS
What?
                                                            
                       KELLY
You just look so sad today, like a
wounded lamb.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
      (nervously laughs)
Hey, do you...
                                                            

4.

                       KELLY
Huh?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
      (starts to get
       nevous)
Uh, do you, I mean , yeah, no...,
yeah, would like do go see a
movie?
                                                            
                       KELLY
Hmmmm
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Never mind, it's okay, you don't
have to I...
                                                            
                       KELLY
No Iím just thinking, I have a lot
of work to do, I have three papers
to write and Iíve got to help my
friend with some art project, and
then Iím supposed to goÖ
                                                            
SCENE 1A
                                                            
                       CHRIS
If she were interested in me she'd
find time to be with me.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Did you ever stop
                                                            
Chris tries to interject but she cuts him off.
                                                            
                       AMBER
No! Let me finish, did you ever
stop to think that she might just
really be busy? Itís not like she
said she had to get her hair done.
                                                            
SCENE 1B
                                                            
                       KELLY
How about tomorrow?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Ok
                                                            
                       KELLY
Oh I can't I'm having my friend
cut my hair that night.
                                                            

5.

                       CHRIS
Oh
                                                            
                       KELLY
But I can do something early
afternoon.
                                                            
SCENE 1A
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Early Afternoon! Early afternoon,
you don't schedule somebody you
like for early afternoon.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Oh thatís not true, maybe sheís
not sure what she wants. Maybe,
now listen, just maybe she wants
to get to know you first.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
I'm not doubting she does.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Well then?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Just not like that, she only goes
for pretty boys.
                                                            
Photos of Kelly's last five boyfriends float across the
screen. All blonde, Arian type guys.
                                                            
                       AMBER
That doesnít matter to girls;
things like a good sense of humor,
and being creative are what girls
really like.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
      (laughs bitterly)
No, they only like those qualities
in guys they already like so they
don't feel shallow about using a
guy.
                                                            
                       AMBER
      (Thinks for a
       minute)
Yeah, you may be right.
                                                            

6.

SCENE 1B
                                                            
                       KELLY
      (laughing)
Am I right?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
      (laughs)
                                                            
                       KELLY
What?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Nothing, nothing, you're just,
just.
                                                            
                       KELLY
What? Tell me, tell me!
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Well not if you're going to beg
like that.
                                                            
                       KELLY
Well what if I begged like this?
      (becomes seductive
       and plays with
       his hair.)
Please? For me?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
That was much better
                                                            
                       KELLY
Well I can be pretty good when I
want to be.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
I can see that, I can't believe
your ex cheated on you.
                                                            
The playful tone of the walk turns to instant awkward
silence as they keep walking.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
I'm sorry, that came out, what I
meant, what I mean...
                                                            
                       KELLY
      (quickly changes
       the subject)
Oh hey! Do you want to hear my new
score?
                                                            

7.

                       CHRIS
      (relieved that
       he's out of that
       mess)
Yeah! Definitely!
                                                            
Kelly searches her bag while Chris turns so that she can't
see his complete contempt for every single disorder he has
that makes him bad with women.
                                                            
                       KELLY
I can't find my ipod.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Oh well, that's ok.
                                                            
                       KELLY
No, um hey letís stop by my place
before we go get coffee and Iíll
just play it for you
there.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
      (not sure how to
       respond to the
       invitation)
we could do that, yeah...ok.
                                                            
 
INT. KELLY'S APARTMENT - DAY
                                                            
Chris and Kelly enter her apartment. Her apartment is small,
cramped filled with music, posters, a keyboard, guitars, a
computer with a small recording set-up.
                                                            
                       KELLY
Make yourself at home, I think I
left it on my bed, I'll be right
out.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Ok, I'm fine, just, I'll be here
if you need me.
                                                            
                       KELLY
Need you for what?
                                                            
Kelly goes to her room while Chris looks around her living
room. He searches around her desk and sees that the only
pictures she has is of her with her old boyfriends, no other
friends or family, just her ex's. The pictures are all of
these fun, wild parties; the kind of fun Chris has never

8.

really had and doesn't know how to appeal to her.
Kelly walks back into the room with her ipod.
                                                            
                       KELLY
Found it! I'm sorry I couldn't
hear you, did you need something?
                                                            
Chris just stares at her a bit depressed, he has no idea
what he wants with her
                                                            
 
INT. JEREMY'S LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Chris is sitting on the couch while JEREMY is in a chair
working on a song with his guitar. Jeremy's girlfriend,
RACHEL, is running around trying to fix up the house. Jeremy
and Rachel's house looks like the Salvation Army and Ikea
had an abortion in their living room. They are just two kids
in their 20's that accept anything people want to give them
so they can pretend to be a domestic family like they think
good adult should be.
                                                            
                       JEREMY
I'll tell you something, this song
is going...
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (sighs)
Jeremy.
                                                            
                       JEREMY
      (Gets more
       definant)
No, no, no, let me finish. This
song is...
      (pauses)
Great, now I forget what I was
going to say, thanks a lot Rachel.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Really? I'm responsible for you
forgetting a phrase you have to
say 30 times a day?
                                                            
                       JEREMY
Do not!
      (pauses waits for
       her reaction)
Do...
                                                            

9.

                       RACHEL
      (lashes back)
Don't bate me into a battle of
contradiction.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Uh, hey, you guys can show your
love to each other another time,
you do have company over...spoil
me with attention now and kill
each other later.
                                                            
Rachel just sighs again and goes to the bedroom. Jeremy
watches her leaves and waits till he knows she can't hear
him.
                                                            
                       JEREMY
      (Turns to Chris)
So anyways, this song I'm working
on, I can sum it up to you in one
word.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Yeah? What's that?
                                                            
                       JEREMY
Smokey
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Smokey?
                                                            
                       JEREMY
Smokey
                                                            
                       CHRIS
      (sarcastic)
Smokey...I don't know, it sounds
like you're selling me bbq sauce.
                                                            
Jeremy reacts as if his mind has just been blown.
                                                            
                       JEREMY
Yeah, sauce that's another good
descriptive word.
                                                            
Jeremy quickly starts to write down "sauce." Jeremy's
annoying habit is that he says everything he writes out
loud. It's a habit that drives Chris crazy.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
I don't understand, we're talking
about music, right?
                                                            

10.

                       JEREMY
Yeah, but you've got to look to
the future,
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Which is sauce.
                                                            
Jeremy just points to Chris in agreement.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
      (sighs)
Where's Rachel, I need somebody
literate to talk to.
                                                            
Rachel is coming out of the bedroom as Chris says this and
passes a smile onto Chris.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Chris, give me a hand would ya?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Isn't this why you have a
boyfriend?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Are you saying You want to sleep
with me first?
                                                            
                       JEREMY
Wait! What?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (smiles)
Don't worry I'm not that
desperate.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Hey, you know you're no Raquel
Welch!
                                                            
                       JEREMY
Who?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Some old broad, forget about it,
Chris would you mind?
                                                            
Chris moves over to the shelves to help get some towels off
the top shelf. Chris looks at Rachel with concern while
Rachel just smiles at him confidently.
                                                            

11.

                       JEREMY
Screw this I'm going to go play my
song.
                                                            
Jeremy storms out, Rachel and Chris just watch him leave in
silence.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
      (To Rachel)
Oh, I got to see this.
                                                            
They both start laughing and go run to catch up with Jeremy
in the garage.
                                                            
 
INT. JEREMY'S GARAGE - DAY
                                                            
Jeremy is plugging in his guitar to his amp when Chris and
Rachel jump in excited in a sarcastic sense to hear their
friend's song.
                                                            
                       JEREMY
What do you guys want?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
To hear this song you've been
talking about?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Yeah, come on baby, I haven't even
gotten to hear it yet.
                                                            
                       JEREMY
Well, okay, but it's not finished.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Bahh, who cares about that, go on
play!
                                                            
                       JEREMY
Well, okay, are you ready?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
YES! Play the song would you!
                                                            
                       JEREMY
Ok, here goes nothing.
                                                            
Jeremy starts to play The Rolling Stones- Satisfaction.
Chris soon realizes this and cuts him off.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Wait, is that your song?
                                                            

12.

                       JEREMY
Ya! what's up?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
That's Satisfaction.
                                                            
Jeremy just looks at him blankly.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Satisfaction? The Rolling Stones?
                                                            
Jeremy continues to just stare at them with a confused look
on his face.
                                                            
                       JEREMY
Who?
                                                            
Chris throws up his hands in disgust, Rachel is embarrassed
but somewhat expected it and starts to laugh some. Chris
just starts to walk away, he just can't take it anymore.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Ya, goodbye, have a good day
folks.
                                                            
                       JEREMY
What? Are you saying somebody else
already recorded it?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Are you kidding me?
                                                            
 
EXT. IN THE PARK WITH AMANDA - DAY
                                                            
Amanda and Chris are walking along a trail in the park.
Amanda is having fun, Chris hates nature so he could go
either way.
                                                            
                       AMANDA
You're joking right?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
No! He seriously believes he's the
first to come up with that song.
                                                            
                       AMANDA
Man that kid was always stupid,
but ya, wow.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Ya, how was it growing up next to
that guy? He was the one that
killed cats with scissors wasn't
            (MORE)

13.

                       CHRIS (cont'd)
he.
                                                            
                       AMANDA
      (laughs)
No, believe it or not, it's only
recently he's become pretentious.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Ya, what do you do with a guy like
that?
                                                            
                       AMANDA
How are you guys even friends?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Oh he was a friend of a friend
then that friend died.
                                                            
                       AMANDA
Died?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Well, married, same thing.
                                                            
                       AMANDA
Ahh, ok.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Then it was just us left and we
kind of just stuck together.
                                                            
                       AMANDA
So how's your mom doing?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
My mom? She's still dead.
                                                            
                       AMANDA
Jackass, you know what I meant.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
My step-mom?
                                                            
                       AMANDA
Yes.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
She's, she's ok. She has a couple
more days in the hospital before
she gets out.
                                                            

14.

                       AMANDA
Oh, well give her my best.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
No!
                                                            
                       AMANDA
What? Why?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
She's never met you before, why
would I pass along a personalized
message from a stranger?
                                                            
                       AMANDA
You didn't learn any manners
growing up did you.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
She doesn't know you! She's not
going to care! She'll say, "Oh,
that's nice." Why put her through
that? She's sick enough already,
do you really want to put her
through that? I know I don't.
                                                            
                       AMANDA
Have you ever noticed that nobody
wants to spend more than ten
minutes with you?
                                                            
 
INT. AMBER'S HOUSE - NIGHT
                                                            
Amber and Chris are in her living room working separately on
their own stories. Amber is typing on her laptop quietly
while Chris is writing in his notebook with apparent
frustration. He finally throws his writing pad and pen down.
Amber looks up and just stares at him without saying a word,
Chris soon looks embarrassed.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Sorry, I forget other people are
working too.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Ya, it must be hard to remember me
when you're at my house, on my
couch, and two feet away from me.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Sorry, I just got all this stuff
on my mind.
                                                            

15.

                       AMBER
And is there some reason you can't
take that stuff out in your
writing instead of my coffee
table.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
You know I don't like it when you
act like me.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Ya, I'm starting to see the appeal
of acting like this though, it
makes...
                                                            
                       CHRIS
You feel smarter than everyone
else?
                                                            
                       AMBER
Exactly!
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Ya well stop it, it doesn't suit
you.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Chris is there something you want
to get off your chest?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
No, you've heard it all before.
                                                            
                       AMBER
You know you'll never get her with
that attitude.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
When you've been screwed over by
your gender as much as I have,
it's ok to have this attitude.
                                                            
                       AMBER
You...you haven't said anything
like that to her have you?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
No...Of course not.
                                                            
 

16.

INT. CAFE - DAY
                                                            
Chris is having coffee with Kelly. They are both playfully
flirting.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Man I hate your sex.
                                                            
                       KELLY
So because of my gender, you're
going to take your aggression out
on me?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Yes, yes, very much so.
                                                            
                       KELLY
      (laughs)
That's fair but that just means
I'm going to take my hatred of men
out on you.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
I wouldn't have it any other way.
                                                            
Both of them pause for a bit as to figure out if they were
flirting, being serious, or making sexual innuendos, and
which one the other person thought.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Do you ever get the feeling that
we don't say what's really on our
minds. Like it's just extended
forms of small talk?
                                                            
                       KELLY
      (Taken off guard,
       stutters a bit)
No, I'm not sure what you mean, is
there something you want to say?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
      (Very embarrassed)
Me? No, no, I was just being
sarcastic...
                                                            
                       KELLY
      (sounds relieved)
Oh, ok, good, because
                                                            
                       CHRIS
because, ya, that would be.
                                                            

17.

                       KELLY
ya, exactly, it's just.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Just ya...nothing.
                                                            
 
INT. JEREMY'S KITCHEN - NIGHT
                                                            
Jeremy and Chris are in the kitchen eating some pizza.
Rachel is out with friends for the evening.
                                                            
                       JEREMY
So this might sound like nothing,
but I just wanted to say sorry.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Sorry?
                                                            
                       JEREMY
For how I acted, I know there was
no reason to be jealous but I was
and I was acting like a jerk.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Did Rachel put you up to this?
                                                            
                       JEREMY
What? No! She doesn't have
anything to do with this!
                                                            
                       CHRIS
You sure?
                                                            
                       JEREMY
Yes! Why would she?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
It's just that I didn't even
notice any of this so I was
just...
                                                            
                       JEREMY
No! She had nothing to do with
this.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Ok, well thanks, you didn't have
to...
                                                            
                       JEREMY
I know I didn't have to.
                                                            

18.

                       CHRIS
Ok
                                                            
                       JEREMY
Ok
                                                            
It gets silent again as they both go back to eating.
                                                            
                       JEREMY
Why?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
      (sighs)
Why what?
                                                            
                       JEREMY
Why didn't I have to? Is there a
reason I should be jealous.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
No, no, she loves you, don't
worry.
                                                            
                       JEREMY
Ok
                                                            
                       CHRIS
      (quickly blurts
       out before taking
       a bite)
Oh and Rachel and I do have a past
together.
                                                            
                       JEREMY
      (shocked)
What? A past?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Well maybe not a past, more like a
fling, not even a fling, like an
underhanded throw, it was nothing,
a softball game.
                                                            
                       JEREMY
What are you talking about?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
I kind of knew her back in the day
                                                            
                       JEREMY
Back in the day? You're 23!
                                                            

19.

                       CHRIS
Anyways we slept together.
                                                            
To this revelation Jeremy lunges over and punches Chris as
if it were a reflex.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Dammit! Why'd you do that?
                                                            
                       JEREMY
I don't know it just felt like the
thing to do.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Is that blood I taste? Is it? I
think I taste blood, no, wait,
it's the pizza...no, no, now it's
blood.
                                                            
                       JEREMY
I can't believe she lied to me.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
What you've asked about us before?
                                                            
                       JEREMY
Sure
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Why?
                                                            
                       JEREMY
Well it doesn't seem like such a
weird question now, does it!
                                                            
                       CHRIS
I'm sorry, it was just so long
ago, and when you first brought
her over you were so into her I
didn't want to ruin it, ah, I
don't know seemed like the right
thing to do at the time.
                                                            
                       JEREMY
Oh, I don't care about you, you're
nothing.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Thanks
                                                            
                       JEREMY
You know what I mean.
                                                            

20.

                       CHRIS
Screw it, just move on.
                                                            
                       JEREMY
No, she owes me, things aren't
even with us right now.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Listen...oh forget about it, you
want another beer?
                                                            
                       JEREMY
      (sarcastically)
Well now I do.
                                                            
Chris goes to the fridge to get more beer with the phone
rings and Jeremy answers it.
                                                            
                       JEREMY
      (On the phone)
What?...Is she ok?...Oh I see,
well thank you, no, ya, thanks
again, ya, bye.
                                                            
Jeremy hangs up the phone and he has a face like he's just
seen a ghost. He looks to Chris who has a panicked look on
his face from the uncertainty of the phone call.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
What? What is it?
                                                            
                       JEREMY
      (In a daze)
She's, she's dead.
                                                            
Chris just stares at Jeremy with his mouth open, trying to
find words but nothing seems to come out. Instantly Jeremy
loosens up and smiles as big as he can.
                                                            
                       JEREMY
No, I'm just kidding, she's fine,
she just broke her arm.
                                                            
Jeremy contemplates this with great satisfaction, as if
karma prevailed. He leaves the room content while Chris just
stares at him in confusion.
                                                            
 
INT. CHRIS' BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Chris is on his bed, typing out his writing pad. He is
constantly deleting and correcting his work. His bedroom is
about as generic as you can get for an individual. No

21.

pictures on the walls, no bright colors, nothing that can
really stand out, just four dull walls and a place to live.
Chris' cell phone starts to ring, it's his dad, he lets it
go. The phone starts to ring again, it's a voice mail, he
doesn't read it. Chris then gets back on his bed, the phone
rings again, it's his dad again so Chris gives in and
answers it.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
      (On the phone)
Dad?
                                                            
                       DAD
      (over the phone)
Hi Chris, how are you?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
I'm...
                                                            
                       DAD
Ya, that sounds good, so anyways,
I'm filling out some of these
forms and I need your address.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Uh, ok, sure, it's...
                                                            
                       DAD
Ya, you know what? I'll never
remember it,could you just email
it to me?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Can't you just take it now?
                                                            
                       DAD
No, what's the point, I'll just
forget.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
What's the point of calling me
then?
                                                            
                       DAD
Because I need your address.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
But you don't want me to give it
to you!
                                                            

22.

                       DAD
Because I won't remember it!
What's the big deal? Just email it
to me!
                                                            
                       CHRIS
What's the big deal?
                                                            
                       DAD
Ya, why is this such a big deal?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Why didn't you just email me then
if you didn't want me to give you
my address over the phone?
                                                            
                       DAD
I forgot your email address.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Well, I guess you won this one.
                                                            
                       DAD
Thank you, so are you still coming
around the hospital tomorrow?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Ya, I'll be there.
                                                            
                       DAD
Great, so what time can we expect
you?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
I'm not sure, I might have this
thing I need to go to, late
afternoon probably.
                                                            
                       DAD
You know she may not have given
birth to you, but she has done a
lot for you.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Oh don't do this.
                                                            
                       DAD
Well I'm sorry but blowing off
Karen for a girl, what's wrong
with you?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
I'm not blowing her off!
                                                            

23.

                       DAD
You are! You are blowing her off!
There's no other way to look at
it! How are you not blowing her
off?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Ok! Ok! Just stop saying, "Blowing
her off." I'll be there around 2,
ok?
                                                            
                       DAD
Thank you I'll see you then.
                                                            
 
INT. AMBER'S HOUSE - NIGHT
                                                            
Amber and Chris are sitting on her couch watching TV. Chris
passes her the remote.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Thank you, hey, would you help me
clean up a bit.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Why?
                                                            
                       AMBER
Because I have somebody coming
over and I need to order some
dinner.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Who? Should I go?
                                                            
                       AMBER
What? No, she'd love to meet you.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Who is it?
                                                            
                       AMBER
Erin
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Do I?
                                                            
                       AMBER
Ya, you don't know her. Now would
you help me out, I need to get
dinner for us.
                                                            

24.

                       CHRIS
Oh what a clever girl you are.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Thank you
                                                            
                       CHRIS
You know this isn't going to work.
                                                            
                       AMBER
For once could you put your
happiness in front of your desire
to spite me?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
It's not that, I'll just blow it,
I know I will. That's why...
                                                            
                       AMBER
Yes, yes, I know, that's why
everything has failed before, and
will fail because you can't do
things right and all that other
pre-made rejection jargon you
have.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Hey, it's not pre-made, I do all
of this on the fly.
                                                            
                       AMBER
So what, do you want me to call it
off?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
No, why do that?
                                                            
                       AMBER
Don't you remember? It's not going
to work.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Well if it's fixed don't break it,
no, if it's broke, don't fix it.
                                                            
                       AMBER
You're missing a "not"
                                                            
                       CHRIS
What? I'm not tied to anything.
                                                            
                       AMBER
No, not, never mind.
                                                            

25.

                       CHRIS
What?
                                                            
Erin knocks on the door.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Great, and how much cleaning did
you get done?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Well
      (looks around)
Wow, ya, I got absolutely nothing
done.
                                                            
Amber and Chris can do nothing but stare at each other so
Erin just comes in.
                                                            
                       ERIN
Hi! is everything ok?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Wow, she just let herself in?
                                                            
                       AMBER
      (whines)
Chris.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
      (whines
       sarcastically)
Amber
                                                            
                       ERIN
Hi, Amber! How are you?
                                                            
                       AMBER
I'm great Erin, sorry, I just
spaced out there for a minute.
                                                            
                       ERIN
      (To Chris)
Hi!
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Hi Erin.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Oh, I'm sorry, Chris this is Erin.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
I know, I just said her name.
                                                            
 

26.

INT. AMBER'S KITCHEN - NIGHT
                                                            
Amber, Erin, and Chris are all sitting around Amber's small
and cramped dinner table in the corner of her kitchen. They
are having pizza and seem to be having a really good time.
                                                            
                       ERIN
So what do you do Chris?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Uh, I'm a writer.
                                                            
                       ERIN
Oh! Just like Amber!
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Well, Amber is the successful one.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Well if a couple journals and
magazines make you successful.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
I think getting in the New Yorker
is a good marker for success.
                                                            
                       ERIN
What's that?
                                                            
Instantly Chris is filled with thousands of jokes and
sarcastic remarks he can hurl the poor, unsuspecting girl.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
      (takes a deep
       breath)
Too easy.
                                                            
                       ERIN
That's not nice.
                                                            
                       AMBER
So Chris can I talk to you in the
other room for a minute?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
It would be my pleasure.
                                                            
They both escort each other into the other room while Erin
just stares with confusion, until a light bulb goes off in
her head.
                                                            
                       ERIN
Oh! Like the magazine! I get it!
                                                            

27.

Chris slowly sticks his head back in the room, about to let
her have it when Amber pulls him back into the other room
quickly.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Take off your glasses.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
I don't wear glasses.
                                                            
Amber slaps Chris in the face.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Why?!? Just because I don't wear
glasses?
                                                            
                       AMBER
No, I didn't want to break your
glasses when I hit you.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
But I don't wear glasses!
                                                            
Amber slaps Chris again.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Do you mind telling me what you're
doing?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Doing?
                                                            
                       AMBER
Yes, what are you doing?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
I'm not doing anything!
                                                            
                       AMBER
Don't be coy with me!
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Who says coy?
                                                            
                       AMBER
Chris!
                                                            
                       CHRIS
I mean I think I heard my grandpa
say coy once.
                                                            
                       AMBER
You just don't get it do you.
                                                            

28.

                       CHRIS
But he was shell shocked, so
nothing he said made sense half
the time.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Chris would you...
                                                            
                       CHRIS
And the other half it just so
racist you usually have to leave
the room.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Chris would you just listen to me
for a minute.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Ya, what's up?
                                                            
Amber is taken aback a little at just how stupid Chris is at
times.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Listen, I didn't invite a girl you
could take home to Mom, I brought
a girl over that you can take
home.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
well why did you do that?
                                                            
                       AMBER
Are you kidding me?
                                                            
                       CHRIS
No, you put me under a lot of
pressure now to perform.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Um most guys would be thanking me.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Well I thought I was going to be
able to pick her up casually, now
I have to be somebody.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Somebody! What the hell is wrong
with you!
                                                            

29.

                       CHRIS
She's expecting something from me.
She has this image of me that's
only going to get ruined. One
wrong move and I'm rejected by
somebody I had a chance with, I
don't know if I can deal with
something like that.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Wow, you have no idea how
depressed you make me some times.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
That's a little melodramatic don't
you think?
                                                            
                       AMBER
Don't give me that.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
What's that supposed to mean?
                                                            
                       AMBER
Oh please, you could have gotten
that story published and you know
it, you just had some reason to
mistrust everyone.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Well, I didn't want to sell out.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Oh please, you don't have any
integrity, you're just afraid.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Okay, this is turning into some
motivation speech, I think we're
done.
                                                            
Chris tries to walk away but Amber grabs his arm and stares
him down.
                                                            
                       AMBER
Are you going to get rid of this
girl or do I have to do it for
you?
                                                            
 

30.

EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
                                                            
Chris is pacing around his car in a parking lot. He wants to
call Kelly and ask her out for coffee. He's never done this
before so he guesses coffee is a good enough choice for a
date, not a lot of pressure. He grabs his phone, puts it
back in his pocket, he grabs it again, stares at it, puts in
back in his pocket and gets in his car. He stares out the
window for a while without starting his car.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
You know, I don't think I shut the
trunk all the way.
                                                            
Chris jumps out of his car and checks the trunk of his car,
it's shut, it was never opened in the first place.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Okay, good.
      (paces some more)
Ok...ok...ok
                                                            
Chris grabs his phone and calls Kelly.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
      (On the phone)
Hello? Kelly?...It's Chris
Hill...Ya, I know we're friends
but you sounded...I just, I didn't
know how many Chris' you know
so...Ok...Ya well I was just
wondering if you wanted to go to
coffee sometime?...When? Well
whenev...Now? Sure ya I can do
now, ok, meet you where? Ok, ya,
ok...ya bye...ok.
      (hangs up the
       phone and takes a
       deep breath)
Ok.
                                                            


THE END


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