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Satan Taco Episode 1: The Sounds of Doom
by John Wood (monkeydemon13@yahoo.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ****
A short cartoon based on a comic I created called Satan Taco. In this episode Satan Taco tries to spread doom across the world with his new radio station.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



SATAN TACO EPISODE 1: THE SOUNDS OF DOOM

INT. CAVE - DAY
                                                            
Satan Taco -- a life size taco with devil horns, filled with
fresh delicious ingredients -- stands alone in a dull gray
cave.
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
What the hell is taking him so
long? If he isn't here in 10
seconds I'm going to unleash my
pure evilness upon him...Ten...
Nine... Eight... Seven... Six...
Five... Four... Three... Two...
One... One half... One Quarter...
                                                            
A STICK FIGURE GOAT walks into the cave and stops next to
SATAN TACO.
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
Ooh you're lucky you showed up
when you did.. One more quarter of
a second and you would be a pile
of matches!.. Did you bring my Now
666 CD?
                                                            
                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
Yeah I got it. You know, if-
                                                            
He is cut off mid-sentence.
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
Shut up and give me the CD!
                                                            
STICK FIGURE GOAT pulls the CD out and gives it to SATAN
TACO.
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
Yes... YES!! Now with my own radio
station that I have set up somehow
using a large satalite dish.... I
shall spread DOOM across the
world!
                                                            
                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
Yeah, you do that. I'll be over
here.
                                                            

2.

                       SATAN TACO
But, don't you want to watch the
DOOM spread? Like butter on toast?
Like aborted fetuses on crackers?
                                                            
                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
Yeah that all sounds fun and all
but-
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
No buts! Get over here and spread
DOOM with me!
                                                            
                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
God damn it.
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
You watch your language!.. Come
with me.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. SMALL HOUSE - DAY
                                                            
A small, plain, single story house sits alone in silence.
The house is completely ordinary in every way other than an
enormous satalite dish placed on top of it.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. SMALL ROOM - DAY
                                                            
The two now stand inside a small white room with some radio
equipment in it.
                                                            
                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
Okay, two questions...
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
Yes?
                                                            
                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
One, How did we get here? And two,
whose house is this?
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
Well to answer the first one, we
"cut to" it, which you would know
if you had read the script. And as
for the second one, I honestly
have no idea.
                                                            

3.

                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
Okay... So what was the point of
the cave?
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
Again, no idea.
                                                            
                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
So... Now what?
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
Now, I put this CD of pure EVIL!
into the CD player and play it on
air.
                                                            
                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
And that's going to spread doom
across the world?
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
Yes, yes it is.
                                                            
                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
Right. Gotcha.
                                                            
SATAN TACO walks to the radio equipment and puts the CD into
it then flips a switch. An 'ON AIR' sign flickers on and the
CD begins to play. We hear a car crash outside.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. STREET - DAY
                                                            
A car has crashed into a stop sign on the corner. A man runs
screaming out of the car.
                                                            
                       MAN
OH GOD NOOO!!! NOT CHER!!!
AHHHH!!!
                                                            
He stops suddenly, puts a gun to his head, and pulls the
trigger dropping quickly.
                                                            
 
INT. SMALL ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Screams, sirens, and other disastrous sounds fill the
background.
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
MUAHAHAHAHA!!!! Cher brings doom
wherever she goes!
                                                            

4.

                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
That's what's on this CD? Cher?
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
No my friend, that's just the
beginning. The CD includes Cher
along with Garth Brooks, Ray
Charles, Christina Aguilera,
Sting, REM, and many others! Order
yours now for $19.95 or find it
exclusively in your local Wal*Mart
store.
                                                            
                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
Wait a minute, I like Sting. Why
is he on there?
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
Name one other person who enjoys
Sting.
                                                            
                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
Uh... Hmm.. My uh... I guess
you're right.
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
Yes I am! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!
                                                            
                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
Hey, here's a thought. If you're
sending this out just over your
station, can't people just avoid
it by changing to another station?
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
No...
                                                            
                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
Why not?
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
Umm.. Because...
                                                            
                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
Oh yeah, good point. I hadn't
thought of it that way.
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
Are you mocking me?
                                                            
                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
Wouldn't think of it.
                                                            

5.

                       SATAN TACO
That's right you wouldn't! Don't
mess with an evil taco, only DOOM
will follow!
                                                            
                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
Yeah.. well I'm gonna order a
pizza.
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
Ooo get pineapple!
                                                            
                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
I'll get half pineapple.
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
I said get pineapple!!!!
                                                            
                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
Fine, damn I'll get pineapple.
Chill.
                                                            
STICK FIGURE GOAT leaves the room. SATAN TACO goes back to
enjoying his doom.
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
DOOOOOOM!!!!!!! DEATH TO ALL!!!!
Wait... If I bring my delicious
doom to all mankind in the very
first episode, what will I do on
the next? The show will be
canceled for sure. Damn it! A
perfect plan goes to waste.
                                                            
He shuts the music off. STICK FIGURE GOAT re-enters.
                                                            
                       STICK FIGURE GOAT
They didn't have pineapple so I
ordered anchovies.
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO
Damn it! I'm allergic to
anchovies! AHH! First a perfect
plan is thrown away and now this!
How could today get any worse?!
                                                            
SATAN TACO runs sobbing into another room followed by a loud
bang.
                                                            
                       SATAN TACO (O.S.)
OW! Aw man, I chipped a horn!
                                                            


FADE OUT.


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From Adam Green Date 5/24/2009 ****
Without a doubt the funniest thing I've read on here so far. I think this could work as a 20-something minute episode as well as a short cartoon. Still works perfectly the way it is though. Really need some more episodes however. Awesome work.

From Aries Coleman Date 6/13/2008 ****
good stuff you got here kidd...keep it up...we need episode two.

From Pablo Date 5/17/2007 ****
Funny in that Aqua Teen Hunger Force sort of way. Would make a great short cartoon.

From cole sattler Date 5/14/2007 ****
A little too short, but freakin' awesome! I love it!

From KIMBERLY JACKSON Date 5/7/2007 ***1/2
I really liked this, but I must warn you, I generally like "corny" comedies. And I just may order that CD. It's a little short, but I don't know what length you were going for. On average, each full page of script equals one minute of film time, therefore, you have a five minute film here.


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