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Bus Route
by Erin Royce (erin.royce@gmail.com)

Rated: PG-13   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ***1/2
A short comedy about a driver who gets stuck behind a school bus on his way to work.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

INT. BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
An alarm clock goes off at 6:45am. A bald, chubby man
(DRIVER) in his mid-40s rubs his eyes, puts on his glasses
and gets out of bed.
                                                            
 
INT. BATHROOM - DAY
                                                            
The man tightens his tie in the mirror and pulls on a
business jacket. He smoothes his balding hair.
                                                            
                       DRIVER
Lookiní good, feeliní good.
                                                            
 
INT. FRONT DOOR - DAY
                                                            
The man holds a cup of coffee, sipping carefully, grabs his
keys from a table next to the door and leaves his house.
                                                            
 
EXT. DRIVEWAY - DAY
                                                            
The man gets into his crappy, Geo Metro car and backs out of
the driveway into the street and drives away.
                                                            
 
INT. CAR - DAY
                                                            
He drives, humming along to the radio, which plays ďCandle
in the Wind.Ē The clock reads 7:23. A few meters up ahead, a
SCHOOL BUS pulls out in front of him. He looks at it in
loathing.
                                                            
                       DRIVER
Ugh, no.
                                                            
The bus slows down and puts its flashing lights on to
indicate that itís picking up a student. It stops and a kid
gets on. After a few seconds, the bus starts moving again.
                                                            
                       DRIVER
Okay. Letís go, hurry up.
                                                            
The busís flashers come back on a few yards down the road
and it stops again.
                                                            
                       DRIVER
No! Come on!
                                                            

2.

He bangs his hands against the steering wheel. The bus
starts moving again, picking up speed.
                                                            
                       DRIVER
This is good. Yes.
                                                            
Suddenly, the bus squeals to a halt and the flashers turn on
again. The Driver spills his coffee all over the front of
his shirt.
                                                            
                       DRIVER
NO!!!
                                                            
A kid, who almost missed the bus, runs by the Driverís
window and gets on the bus.
                                                            
 
EXT. ROAD - DAY
                                                            
The bus is at a red light, with its right turn signal on.
Depressed, the man also has his right turn signal on. A
close up on a sticker on the bus reads ďThis bus does not
turn on red.Ē Itís the longest red light in history. No
cars are coming anymore. The bus sits patiently, waiting
for the light to turn green.
                                                            
 
INT. CAR - DAY
                                                            
The clock now reads 7:37 and the man is still behind the
bus, silent, fuming. The bus slows down at a driveway,
where a small BOY and his MOM are waiting.
                                                            
 
EXT. DRIVEWAY - DAY
                                                            
                       KID
I donít wanna go to school.
                                                            
                       MOM
You have to, honey.
                                                            
                       KID
I donít wanna!
                                                            
                       MOM
Go on, get on the bus. Iíll have a
snack for you when you get home.
                                                            
The kid starts to throw a temper tantrum, lying down on the
ground, screaming.
                                                            
 

3.

INT. CAR - DAY
                                                            
Inside the car, looking outside.
                                                            
                       DRIVER
Come on, kid, get on the fucking
bus!
                                                            
There is a long line of cars behind him. The mom gives the
son a hug and he wipes his eyes and gets on the bus. He
walks all the way to the very last seat and sits down. He
waves to his mother, who waves back. The bus finally starts
moving again.
                                                            
                       DRIVER
Alright, letís GO!
                                                            
The bus squeals to a stop and the flashing lights come on
again, along with the STOP sign that pulls out. The mom
comes running down the street, carrying a lunch box.
                                                            
                       DRIVER
What the?!
                                                            
                       MOM
Timmy! You forgot your lunch!
                                                            
                       DRIVER
Oh my god!!!
                                                            
The mom gets on the bus and hands the lunch to the kid. She
gets off and waves again, not caring that 500 cars are
backed up because of the stupid bus.
                                                            
 
INT. CAR - DAY
                                                            
It is now 7:48 and the driverís face is bright red He
clenches the steering wheel, muttering to himself.

The bus continues down the road at a snails pace.
                                                            
                       DRIVER
Oh come on! Weíre going 30 miles
an hour!
                                                            
The bus slows down even more, until they are going 10 miles
an hour.
                                                            

4.

                       DRIVER
What the hell? Whatís going on?!
                                                            
They are behind a line of school buses going through a
school zone. The yellow lights flash for 15mph.
                                                            
                       DRIVER
A school zone! Yes, turn in, turn
in!
                                                            
The bus continues going straight past the school, but the
BUS DRIVER waves to every single bus that he passes. They
wave back. Theyíre like robots.
                                                            
                       DRIVER
What? Why didnít you go to the
school?! Why are you still in
front of me???
                                                            
He goes nuts against the steering wheel. KIDS inside the
bus stick out their tongues and make faces at him.
                                                            
                       DRIVER
What are you looking at?!
                                                            
He makes a motion like a gun shooting them. The kids look
shocked and one starts crying.
                                                            
                       DRIVER
Yeah, thatís what I thought.
                                                            
He blows on his finger like heís cooling off a gun.
                                                            
 
EXT. BUS - DAY
                                                            
The bus is stopped in front of train tracks. The man in the
car is near tears. The bus driver opens up the door and
looks both ways.
                                                            
                       DRIVER
I just donít understand why we
have to stop at train tracks too!
                                                            
The bus slowly starts moving over the tracks.
                                                            

5.

                       DRIVER
THEREíS NO TRAIN COMING!!! If
there was, the thing would come
down!!!
                                                            
 
EXT. ROAD - DAY
                                                            
The man is slumped in his seat, defeated, still following
the bus. The clock reads 8:06.
                                                            
                       DRIVER
You win, bus. Iím late.
                                                            
Suddenly, the busís turn signal comes on.
                                                            
                       DRIVER
What.
                                                            
The bus slows down.
                                                            
                       DRIVER
No way.
                                                            
The bus slowly turns on to another street and the driver
looks at it incredulously.
                                                            
                       DRIVER
YES! Finally! THANK YOU GOD!
                                                            
He revs the engine and speeds straight ahead, right into a
construction zone. A worker in an orange vest turns his
ďSlowĒ SIGN to ďStopĒ as the driver gets stuck again.
                                                            


FADE OUT.


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From Mac Date 6/3/2007 **1/2
Gave me a couple good idea's for my own short. Don't worry I won't steal yours. It was very amusing!

From Jennifer Goss Date 5/29/2007 **1/2
Very amusing slice of life, although I never much felt sorry for the driver as he did not have much character. Beyond frustration, there was no motivation or concern for others in him. What was he late for? He just seemed to sit there and swear a lot and be mad. I kept expecting him to gun the car right into a kid, so the construction zone was anticlimatic. The piece was bulding and building, and then ended with just more of the same, nothing surprising. Like, if he pulled into a school and hopped onto a bus to drive it, that would be surprising. I was expecting something unexpected. In short, it was very funny and a solid idea, but for me failed to deliver anything surprising or any reason besides similar circumstance empathy to feel for the guy

From Matt Swithenbank Date 5/25/2007 ****
I thought that it was really good, but I agree with Greg. It would be an even better ending if there was a policeman involved.

From deborah Date 5/24/2007 ***1/2
No, it really isn't funny, but I laughed and laughed. It's nice to know that there are others out there who have really crappy days. I LOVED THIS little look into someone else's life. I only used 3.5 stars because I WANTED MORE. **smile** THANKS

From Adam Towne Date 5/24/2007 ****
This would be a great short. It's fast paced and hillarious, while being slow paced. Completely perfect.

From Michael Date 5/17/2007 ****
I like it. Reminds me of Office Space.

From Greg Date 5/16/2007 ****
This is NOT funny! This is the story of MY LIFE!!! OK, it's probably funny IF you're not me, but I live this script everyday! If you had included a mom that stands on the curb talking to bus driver for 30 seconds, and another that lets her leashed dog climb onto the bus to "greet" the bus driver, I'd know you'd been spying on me! A great ending, but I wonder if it would be better if he sped into a police car stopped for the construction zone.


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