Screenwriter Community |
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by Linda (Starrgaz@aol.com)
Rated:
Genre: Drama
User Review:
After dropping off a prisoner in Mississippi, a female police officer starts her vacation by driving back to her home in Arizona. What she encounters on her trip home is more than she bargains for. Car problems are the least of her worries. Out of her element, she reluctantly gets involved in helping track down a killer.
This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
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FADE IN:
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EXT. MUNICIPAL CENTER - DAY |
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Under a cloudless blue sky with the sun shining down
brightly, a rustic building sits on a concrete pyramid
surrounded by stairs. Citizens and Police Officers alike
enter and leave the building.
At the base of the building, in front of the main entrance
is a large gray rock with the inscription that reads:
FOUNDED IN 1904
Lush green grass, trees, and vegetation cover the vast area
at the base of the stairs surrounding the building.
There are benches for people to sit down in and soak in the
beauty of the area.
Among the cars, vans, and trucks, in the parking lot, one
car really seems to stand out like a sore thumb.
The car looks as if it has been driven long and hard. It is
dusty and dirty, with bug residue on the front window. The
car has Arizona plates.
Walking away from the car are a man and woman who accompany
a man is handcuffs and leg irons.
INT. INFORMATION DESK IN LOBBY – MIDDAY
SECURITY OFFICER PAYNE, (40's) stands behind a counter
signing paperwork.
Tall, fit DANNI MCGUIRE, (late 20's) and muscular LEO HINES,
(30's) look on.
On top of the counter in front of them are two weapons,
still in their respective shoulder holsters. Payne hands the
papers to Leo and Danni. |
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PAYNE
Everything is in order. Said
prisoner has been delivered. Here
is your copy. (Beat) You two are a
day late. What happened? We were
ready to send out a search party. |
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LEO
We had some unexpected pit stops. |
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2.
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DANNI
Actually, we ran into traffic. |
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PAYNE
What’s wrong with flying? |
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Danni ignores Payne’s remark. She picks up the papers along
with the gun and holster in front of her on the counter. She
leaves the building. |
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LEO
She prefers not to fly. We like to
keep a low profile in these types
of matters. |
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PAYNE
What’s her problem? |
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LEO
Nothing. It’s just her sweet
disposition oozing out. Try to
ignore her, I do. (Beat) Later,
we’re on a schedule. |
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Leo picks the weapon in front of him and heads for the front
door. |
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EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY |
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Sitting in the driver’s seat, Danni is putting the papers
into her briefcase as Leo walks up. He opens the door and
gets into the passenger side. He hands Danni the weapon he
is carrying. |
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DANNI
By the way what time does your
flight leave this afternoon? |
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LEO
Five. (Beat) I know that you are
perfectly capable of taking care
of yourself Danni, but… |
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DANNI
Would you stop it? Jesus Christ
Leo, how many times do we have to
have this conversation? |
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3.
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LEO
When are you going to leave? |
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DANNI
As soon as I drop you off at the
airport, I’m going straight to the
hotel. I’ll get a good night’s
sleep and head out at first light. |
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LEO
It’s a long way back home partner.
Too much can happen from point A
to point B. |
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DANNI
I have never had a problem before.
Besides, I like to take the scenic
routes, and take a few pictures.
It’s the only way I can unwind
from this job, you know that. Not
counting this fine state of
Mississippi, I only have to go
through three states to reach
home. I figure it will take me a
couple of days, tops. |
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Leo just shakes his head in bewilderment at Danni. |
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DANNI
(MORE)
If it will make you feel better
Leo you can buy me something to
eat. I’m starving. |
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Leo and Danni shut their respective doors as Danni starts up
the car. |
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EXT. PEARL RIVER CAFÉ - DAY |
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The parking lot is filled up with mostly trucks that out
number the passenger cars.
The vast body of water from the Pearl River looms in the
background.
The water line hugs Interstate fifty-nine.
From the air, the landscape is crisscrossed by a lace work
of waterways that twist and turn.
A carpet of light fog hovers over the surface of the water.
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4.
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A sign posted on the interstate down the road reads:
YOU ARE NOW ENTERING LOUISIANA THE PELICAN STATE |
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INT. PEARL RIVER CAFÉ - DAY |
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The place bustles with activity.
The PATRONS seem to be at different stages in their early
morning consumption of breakfast and conversation.
Many conversations are going on at the same time.
Danni sits at the counter. She drinks her coffee as she
studies the map folded out in front of her.
WAITRESS, (50’s)
The Waitress removes Danni’s plate. She refills her coffee
cup then fills up the thermos that Danni has next to her on
the counter. She can’t resist looking at the route that
Danni has outlined with a marker.
In her twangy drawl, the Waitress tries to start up a
conversation. |
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WAITRESS
Looks like y’all are a long way
from home sweetie. The way your
goin’, you gonna be gobsmacked in
the middle of another world down
there. |
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DANNI
It won’t be that bad. I am
thinking of it as an adventure. it
will be fun. |
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WAITRESS
It would scare me shitless to
drive all that way by myself.
(Beat) Aren’t you afraid? |
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DANNI
Actually I’ve done this before.
Not this particular route though.
(Beat) No, it really doesn’t
bother me at all. |
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A CUSTOMER sitting at the other end of the counter yells
out. |
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5.
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CUSTOMER (VO)
Can I get a refill over here? |
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The Waitress acknowledges the Customer’s request. |
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WAITRESS
Y’all take care, and come back and
visit, hear? |
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The Waitress walks down to the other end of the counter.
Danni pays her bill and prepares to leave. |
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EXT. PEARL RIVER CAFÉ PARKING LOT - DAY |
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The thin layer of fog from earlier has dissipated, and
traffic is picking up on the interstate.
Danni walks towards her car. The cell phone in her purse
starts to ring. She pulls it out and answers it. |
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DANNI
Checking up on me already? |
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INT. LEO AND DANNI’S OFFICE - DAY |
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Leo is at his desk using the phone. |
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LEO
No! I’m just wondering if you’re
on the road yet. (Beat) I couldn’t
sleep so thought I’d come in to
work. Have a ton of paper work to
go through. |
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BACK TO DANNI
She looks at her watch. |
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DANNI
Judging by the time difference
your WIFE must be keeping you up
at night? |
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BACK TO LEO |
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LEO
You know how hormonal she can get. |
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BACK TO DANNI |
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6.
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DANNI
She’s seven months pregnant Leo,
what did you expect? |
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BACK TO LEO
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LEO
You’re right. (Beat) Don’t forget
to call me and keep me posted on
your location. |
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BACK TO DANNI |
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DANNI
You have enough things to worry
about without adding me to your
list. Ok? |
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Danni suddenly terminates the call. She gets in her car. |
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EXT. HIGHWAY NINETY - DAY |
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High altitude clouds dot the blue sky.
Danni has stopped at a roadside vegetable/fruit/souvenir
stand.
She has picked out various pieces of fruit, bottles of
water, and an assortment of snacks, junk food and souvenirs.
Danni waits to pay for her purchases. She notices that the
ELDERLY WOMAN sitting in a chair behind the cash register is
knitting and observing the different transactions taking
place.
Danni’s items are finally being rung up on the register and
bagged. |
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GIRL
That will be twenty-eight dollars
and forty-three cents. |
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Danni hands the girl a twenty and a ten dollar bill. Before
the girl has a chance to give Danni her change back, she
walks away. |
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Danni’s action delights the girl. She turns around and
remarks to the Elderly Woman sitting behind her. |
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7.
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GIRL
Grandma, she gave me a tip. |
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Danni puts her goodies in the car and opens a bottle of
water. As she drinks from the bottle, her attention is drawn
to a sign: |
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POV
OBSERVATION AREA. |
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BACK TO DANNI
Danni grabs her digital camera.
EXT. OBSERVATION AREA – AFTERNOON
With the vastness of the landscape before her, Danni begins
to take pictures.
DANNI’S P.O.V.
Areas of the water surface are carpeted with vegetation.
Spanish moss dangles from the branches of Live Oaks, and is
reflected in the murky waters below.
A lone Alligator with eyes and nose protruding from the
water, drifts along looking more like a chunk of log or a
tree root.
Birds are heard hooting and cawing at the intruder floating
by.
A swamp rat darts between the trees, anxious to avoid
becoming lunch for predators that are obviously moving
through the undergrowth.
A Woodpecker drums its mark against the trunk of a cypress.
Close by is an array of cypress knees protruding upwards out
of the water. |
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EXT. HIGHWAY NINETY – LATE AFTERNOON
Danni keeps up with the flow of traffic, as she keeps a
marginal distance between herself and the car in front of
her.
From a distance behind, a tow truck is traveling the same
route.
INT. DANNI’S CAR – LATE AFTERNOON
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8.
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Danni fiddles with the radio knob as she tries to find
something other that static to listen to.
She finally gives up and turns the radio off.
DANNI’S P.O.V.
Without any warning, the car ahead of Danni swerves to miss
something in the road. It’s an alligator with its massive
tail still out on the roadway.
BACK TO DANNI
Danni tries to re-act, but does not have time enough to
avoid hitting the reptile. They both collide.
EXT. DANNI’S CAR – LATE AFTERNOON
A cloud of dust is stirred up as both Danni’s car and the
alligator engage in a hundred and eighty degree spin down
the slight slope of the embankment.
The car finally comes to a stop.
As the dust settles it appears that the alligator’s tail is
somehow caught up underneath Danni’s car.
There is no movement from the alligator, but Danni, with her
hands still on the steering wheel is in a state of
disbelief.
Danni hears the sound of an approaching vehicle.
DANNI’S P.O.V.
The tow truck, which had been traveling behind Danni’s car
earlier, pulls up and stops. The logo on the side reads:
EARL’S GARAGE.
The driver gets out and yells down to Danni.
RAY HUDSON, (30’s) male, ruggedly handsome, a slight
muscular build. Looks like a local, but his accent from the
land down under is out of place. |
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BACK TO DANNI
Danni physically checks herself for any injuries. She
breathes a sigh of relief when she doesn’t find any. |
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9.
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BACK TO RAY |
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RAY
Just stay put, and don’t try to
get out of your car. |
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Ray walks back to the truck and grabs his cell phone. He
makes a call.
BACK TO DANNI
Danni leans her head back on the headrest and breathes a
sigh of relief.
The tranquil moment is interrupted.
ANGLE ON ALLIGATOR
The reptile shows signs of life and begins to thrash around.
Its shear weight and size rocks the car back and forth as
the alligator tries to free itself.
The alligator is successful. Although there is a massive
gash on the tail that looks like a big check mark, the
reptile wastes no time in making a hasty retreat to the
waters edge where it disappears gracefully into the muddy
water.
BACK TO DANNI
As she tries to regain her composure once more, the air bag
deploys.
EXT. CRASH SITE – NIGHT
The flashing lights from two Sheriff’s cars, a Paramedic
truck, along with the floodlights attached on top of the tow
truck, illuminate against the thick black sky.
The surrounding area has a foreboding and ominous look about
it.
Flares and orange cones have been placed on the roadway to
slow the traffic down.
INT. BACK OF PARAMEDIC TRUCK – NIGHT
PARAMEDIC, (40’s) female.
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10.
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She has just finished taking Danni’s blood pressure and
removes the instrument from her arm.
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PARAMEDIC
Except for some bumps and bruises,
y'all will be fine. |
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A Uniformed Officer pokes his head in through the back door.
SHERIFF VICTOR EVANS, (50’s) male, has that good ole’ boy
appearance, chews tobacco, wears a Saints ball cap. |
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VICTOR
She gonna make it doc? |
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PARAMEDIC
With flying colors. Smart lady,
she was wearing her seat belt.
You’re another matter Sheriff. You
gotta stop chewin’ that shit. |
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Victor ignores the remark, spits on the ground, and directs
his attention towards Danni. |
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VICTOR
When you’re done there Missy, I do
need to talk to you. |
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EXT. SHERIFF’S CAR – NIGHT
Danni leans up against the side of the car, and watches the
activity going on in front of her.
DANNI’S P.O.V.
Ray is backing up the tow truck so he can secure her car.
ll of Danni’s belongings are on the trunk of the second
Squad car. Her bags are open and have already been searched.
Victor is visually scanning the inside of the front seat
area of Danni’s car.
VICTOR’S P.O.V.
The seat is littered with empty bags of chips, various other
food items, and empty water bottles. A map is on the
floorboard.
When Victor picks up the map up off the floorboard, a gun is
revealed underneath.
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11.
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BACK TO VICTOR
By his reaction he finds more than he has bargained for. He
removes Danni’s gun from the car.
Victor looks towards Danni’s direction. He motions at the
second Officer.
SHANE DAVIS, (40’s) male, African American, wears LSU
baseball cap.
BACK TO DANNI |
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Both men approach Danni. Shane hands Danni her purse, while
Victor, who keeps his distance, removes the clip from her
gun and discovers that it is empty. When he tries to empty
the chamber, it is also empty. |
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SHANE
Do you have any identification? |
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DANNI
I can explain everything. |
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SHANE
Identification (beat) please. |
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Danni removes her wallet from her purse and hands Shane her
driver’s license and Police badge.
Shane studies both items briefly. He shows them to Victor. |
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VICTOR
Go run a check on the vehicle.
(Beat) Why didn’t you identify
yourself? |
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DANNI
Didn’t think I had to. I’m just
passing through. |
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VICTOR
So, start explaining. |
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DANNI
I’m traveling alone, and I need
protection. As you can see my
weapon is unloaded and was not
concealed. |
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Victor holds the gun up. |
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12.
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VICTOR
A glock 357, this will definitely
get the job done. Kind of defeats
the purpose of using it as
protection if it’s unloaded. |
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The sound of Shane’s voice interrupts the conversation. |
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SHANE (OS)
Victor, can I talk to you a
minute? |
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VICTOR
This is by no means the end our
conversation Detective McGuire. |
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As Victor leaves, Ray walks up and stands next to Danni. |
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RAY
Just so you know, I told the
Sheriff what happened, that it
wasn’t your fault. |
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There is harshness in Danni’s voice. |
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DANNI
Golly gee Ray, I feel so much
better now. |
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DANNI
Why don’t you go tow something? |
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RAY
I would, but I’m waiting on your
coit. (Ass) |
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Danni looks a bit perplexed by Ray’s statement.
Victor and Shane approach Danni and Ray. |
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VICTOR
Why don’t you go ahead Ray and
take the car back to the garage.
We’ll be there directly. |
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RAY
Do I need to sign something before
I go? |
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13.
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VICTOR
No need son, Shane has your
statement. He’ll follow you, and
you can sign the paperwork at the
garage. |
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RAY
That’s fine with me mate. Let’s go
Davis. Move your ass. |
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The two men leave; Victor and Danni are left to themselves.
Victor gives Danni her driver’s license and police badge
back to her. |
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VICTOR
One more time, why didn’t you tell
me who you were? |
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DANNI
Would it have made a difference? |
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DANNI
Can I have my gun back? |
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VICTOR
Don’t think so. At least not until
I get some answers from your boss,
Caption Burton. And that won't be
til' mornin' |
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Danni’s reaction to Victor’s statement is one of cautionary
concern. |
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DANNI
So what the hell am I suppose to
do until morning Sheriff? Camp out
in my car, that I don't have? |
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VICTOR
I made a call and will explain on
the way. Let’s go. |
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Danni caustiously follows the Sheriff to the squad car.
EXT. SWEETS MEADOW – NIGHT
The Sheriff’s car is parked in front of one particular
cabin, which is one of four that sit lined up on the
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14.
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property.
All the cabins are identical and are built on pilings. They
straddle both the land and the water. On one side a door
opens up to a levee. On the other side, a door opens up to
wooden steps leading to a boat ramp.
Victor and Danni stand by the car. Victor acts as if he is
waiting for someone. He keeps looking towards a row of
cypress trees some fifty yards away, which separates the
cabins from the rest of the buildings that share the
property.
Neon sign from a building on the other side of the cypress’s
gleams brightly through the branches of the trees, producing
a blue crystalline effect.
Floodlights attached to only two of the cabins give the
immediate area an eerily hazy atmosphere.
The eerie sound that can only be compared to a human voice
wavering on the brink of hysteria, bellows out from the
stillness of the night.
Danni reacts nervously. |
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VICTOR
Relax Danni; it’s only the night
creatures of the bayou. |
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DANNI
I’m sorry if I don’t share your
calm attitude. Do me a favor and
call me Detective McGuire. I
expect to be treated and respected
as an equal. As of this moment, we
are not even friends Victor. |
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VICTOR
Fair enough. (Beat) Detective
McGuire. I do applogize. |
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DANNI
So, do you people down here take
credit cards? |
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VICTOR
No need for that Detective. You
are one of us, and even though you
are not from around these parts,
we do take care of our own. |
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Danni reacts cautiously, but remains silent. She checks her
watch for the time. |
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15.
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The brief silence is broken by the faint sound of footsteps
trampling the underbrush, that echoes through the night air.
A Woman approaches.
ELLA DUPRE, (30’s) female, African American, attractive,
multiple piercings on both ears. |
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ELLA
Sorry for the wait Sheriff, I
couldn’t find the key. |
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Ella marches up the steps leading to Cabin number one. She
flings the screen door open first, before unlocking the
front door and turning on the inside lights.
Danni does not budge. |
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ELLA (MORE)
Well come on now, your suite is
waiting. |
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Danni reluctantly hesitates before she walks up the stairs.
When she reaches the top of the stairs, she glances back at
Victor, who is preparing to get in the car. |
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VICTOR
I need to get back. I’ll see you
in the morning, (Beat) garonteed. |
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INT. CABIN ONE – NIGHT
The small compact living room has just the basics. There is
no television set. A thin layer of dust covers everything.
The kitchen is even smaller, but does have a stove, and a
refrigerator.
A breakfast knook attached to the wall which has two stools
in front of it.
In the bedroom there are only the basics also. But the
double sized bed has a mosquitaire net that hangs over it.
The door that leads to the small bathroom is slightly open.
Cobwebs hang down from the corners of the ceiling. Signs of
water damage around the light fixtures on the ceiling are
apparent. |
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16.
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ELLA
I’m sure that you’re use to
classier accommodations, but this
was the best I could do on such
short notice. My husband and I own
the place beyond the tree line. We
are open from six am to two am. If
you get hungry I don’t deliver. |
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Danni is at a loss for words. |
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Ella hands Danni the key and leaves without saying another
word. |
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INT. LEO AND DANNI’S OFFICE - NIGHT |
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Leo is preparing to leave. His boss approaches him.
CAPTAIN ED BURTON, (50’s). |
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LEO
I was just leaving Captain. You
need something? |
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CAPTAIN BURTON
I received a phone call earlier
from a Sheriff Victor Evans. He’s
from someplace called Sweets
Meadow. He wanted to know about
Danni. |
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LEO
Why? Is Danni in trouble? |
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CAPTAIN BURTON
Relax kid. She’s actually the
innocent one this time. Seems your
partner had a collision with an
alligator, and her car lost by a
first round knockout. |
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LEO
So what was the phone call was
about? |
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CAPTAIN BURTON
Even after I told him who she was,
the Sheriff said he was going to
confiscate her weapon until he
heard from me as to why she was in
his neck of the woods as he put
it. Personally, I was in no mood
(MORE)
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17.
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CAPTAIN BURTON (cont'd)
to mess with him, So I told him I
would talk to him in the morning.
(BEAT) Leo, I sure as hell hope
that Danni doesn’t cause any
problems or stir up any shit down
there. |
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INT. CABIN ONE - NIGHT |
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In the bedroom, Danni has all her belongings on the bed. She
empties her clothes out of a duffel bag, and then turns the
bag over.
The decorative trim that encircles the circumference of the
bottom part of the bag, is actually a piece of Velcro that
cleverly hides a hidden zipper.
Danni unzips the section and a false bottom is revealed. She
opens it up, and inside is a another glock with a supply of
ammo and extra clips. |
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EXT. EARL’S GARAGE - DAY |
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Sitting on a carpet of asphalt the two-story building is
made of brick, and has an overhanging roof that shades the
top floor balcony.
Cars are parked outside. Danni’s car is inside up on the
rack.
The first floor is the garage itself.
The second floor is the apartment where Ray lives. The only
way to access the top floor is a staircase built into the
side of the building. It’s made of cypress wood.
Live oak trees surround the whole area.
Ray exits his apartment and walks down the stairs. |
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INT. EARL’S GARAGE - DAY |
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EARL DUPRE, (40’s) male, Mulatto, hair in dreadlocks, light
colored eyes.
Earl lies underneath Danni’s car looking at the damage.
Ray walks in and joins Earl. |
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18.
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EARL
That ‘gator fucked up the
undercarriage real good. U joints
are shot and the transaxle is
bent. The rest of the shit is
minor stuff. |
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RAY
Did you put a rush on the order
Earl? |
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EARL
You know how it works Ray. It gets
here when it gets here. |
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As the two men visually inspect other areas on the car, the
sound of a woman screaming is heard.
Ray and Earl run outside to see what is going on.
P.O.V.
Across the street, Danni is on the porch of the cabin.
She is trying to kill a small rodent of some kind by trying
to hit it repeatedly with a pair of her pants. The brown
furry creature finally escapes her wrath.
As she starts to go back inside the cabin, Danni glances up
and notices that Earl and Ray are watching her.
She turns around and starts walking towards them.
BACK TO RAY AND EARL |
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RAY
Damn,that woman has one hell of a
temper. I hope I never piss her
off. |
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EARL
If something that little can set
her off, she sure as hell isn’t
goin’ to be happy about this. |
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Danni approaches the two men. |
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DANNI
What am I not going to be happy
about? |
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19.
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RAY
Nothing wrong with your hearing is
there? |
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Danni glares at Ray.
Earl introduces himself as he points to the name tag on his
shirt. |
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EARL
I’m Earl, and this guy you have
already met. I understand you have
met my wife Ella? |
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Danni remains silent. |
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EARL (MORE)
I was just telling Ray when you
walked up that it might take a
little longer than expected to fix
your car. |
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RAY
It’s not that we’re slow, things
just move at a slower pace down
here. |
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DANNI
(Screaming)
Two weeks? |
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RAY
Don’t worry Boo, the time will fly
by and before you know it you’ll
be out of here. |
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Danni comes unglued and starts to rant and rave. |
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DANNI
Two weeks! What’s wrong with this
picture? You people are a bunch of
fucking yahoos. |
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Danni walks off in a huff, mumbling to herself. |
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20.
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EXT. CRAZY CAJUN - DAY |
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The building looks like an oversized cottage, a leftover
from the plantation days. It sits on brick piers, with a
high-pitched overhanging roof of cypress frames.
Memorabilia from different beer companies hang in the
windows.
A Neon sign that says Crazy Cajun is attached to the roof. |
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INT. CRAZY CAJUN - DAY |
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The entire inside is built out of cypress: the floors,
chairs, tables, bar stools, and the pool tables.
Thick shelves nailed to the walls are adorned with a mixture
of items: oddly shaped candles, colored bottles, jars of
crystals, and broken gourds with pebbles inside.
There are wooden bowls filled with an assortment of items:
snakes skins, gris gris bags, rabbits feet, voodoo dolls,
charms, amulets, animal and human bones.
Strands of colored beads and masks, remnants of Mardi Gras
hang everywhere.
Overhead lights are hanging by thick black chains that are
attached to the ceiling.
Various pinball machines are scattered about the room.
Most of the CUSTOMERS are sitting at the tables in the back.
A hand full, which includes Ray, are sitting up at bar. Ray
has his back to the front door.
Ella, who is bartending, is talking with Ray as she refills
his cup of coffee. |
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TO BE CONTINUED |
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FADE OUT. |
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Feedback |
From henry Grant |
Date 6/2/2007 |
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Nice start. I'd cut back on the scene descriptions though. They don't have to be quite that detailed. Other than that, good work. |
From Sasha |
Date 5/17/2007 |
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Can't wait to see what happens next to Danni. This woman is clearly out of her element. I have a feeling that as you add more to your screenplay Danni will emerge as a strong and independent, yet flawed and fallible person. Detective Danni McGuire is the type of complex, nuanced character good actresses will seek to play. I hope that she is a heroine with whom audiences will easily sympathize. Her idiosyncrasies such as her fear of flying and reticence regarding relationships make her an appealing protagonist we can all relate to. Your scene descriptions so far give me the impression that you are familar with this part of the county. |
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