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Red Neck Caribbean Cruise
by Phillip G. Abbott (pkkabbott@chartertn.net)

Rated: PG-13   Genre: Comedy   User Review: **1/2
Caribbean cruise comedy

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



The factory whistle blows .Jake slides his time card quickly
into the time clock and exits the building in a line of co
workers. All are moving quickly and talking about the
See ya boys Monday. Have a nice
Jake reaches his vehicle, a 1971 rusted out Ford pickup
truck and opens the door. He slides onto the seat and puts
the key in the ignition . Fires up the truck and moves out
of the parking lot.
Dang muffler.
The truck rolls onto the highway headed southwest from
Williamsburg toward Hurricane Hollow Road.
Jake turns the radio dial to a country radio station.
      (Sings along)
My name is John Lee Pettimore,
just like my daddy and his daddy
before. Da da da da da, da da da.
You could smell the whiskey
burnin' down Copperhead Road.
Jake speeds by newly leafing hardwood trees and new spring
flowers just beginning to sprout.The truck turns right onto
Happy Hollow Road, then again onto Hurricane Hollow.Jake
hauls ass down the road singing along with the music. Ahead
of him he sees his gravel driveway entrance and slows the
truck as the tailpipe sputters and pops. He pulls up the
driveway slowly and sees Maynard his blue tick hound. The
truck stops. Jake cuts the engine and cracks the door to
exit. Maynard approaches howling and attempts to crawl up
into the truck with Jake.


Howdy boy. Where is your Momma?
Jake climbs out of the truck with Maynard by his side. He
strolls up to the steps and onto the small deck porch in
front of the double wide trailer and opens the door. He sees
his wife cooking supper and the kids watching television.
Hey Baby.
Nadine turns her head slightly without looking directly at
Jake. She is opening the oven door to retrieve the
Hi Darlin'.
Jake's 10 year old son sitting in front of the television
turns away from the TV and hollers.
Daddy what are we going to do this
summer for a real vacation when
school gets out?
I don't know yet boy. Just keep
your pants on and we will think of
Jake's daughter is sitting quietly thumbing through Teen
Magazine with a (bored) expression on her face. She turns
her head toward her dad and smiles.
Yea, daddy we haven't been nowhere
since I was in elementary school
six years ago. I don't want to
start hair stylin' school this
fall and say I went nowhere this
Hang on there baby girl. Daddy's
gonna make ya happy. You just
Nadine had placed the cornbread on the small round dining
table next to the kitchen counter.


OK, lets eat y'all. We can talk it
over later when your daddy gets
some rest. He worked real hard
this week.
Yea, lets eat and I can think
better with a full stomach. Those
beans and cornbread look real good
to me Mama. Come on kids.
Jake is staring at the ceiling of his bedroom with Nadine
next to him in curlers. She is asleep . The sound of
crickets up the hollow echo all around.
Jake wakes up rises and stretches and farts so loudly
Nadine's body jerks. She rolls over toward Jake.
My God Jake. Get out of here now!
Can't nobody get no sleep without
you waking up the whole house.
Sorry baby.
Jake slides his feet in a shuffle toward the kitchen. He
reaches for a coffee cup in the cabinet. He pours a cup and
heads for the front door.
The front door cracks open. Jake steps out slowly onto the
small wobbly wood deck. Maynard is underneath and wakes. He
wags his tail. The tail is lying across the bottom step.
Jake is wearing boxer shorts, tee shirt, Deere hat. He turns
to step down off the porch. At the bottom he steps on
Maynard's wagging tail. Maynard howls and runs. Jake spins
around and falls backward into the yard.Coffee spills . Jake
lands on his back in the yard. Maynard walks over and licks
Jake's face generously.
Get away dang it!


Jake rolls over and rises slowly dusting his rear off as he
walks down to the mailbox.Opens the mailbox reaches in and
pulls out a handful of envelopes and junk mail.
Same old stuff.
He walks up the driveway thumbing through the mail and finds
a brochure. LOW BUDGET CARIBBEAN CRUISE. He sees Maynard
cowling back under the deck.
Sorry ole' buddy. Is your tail OK?
Maynard wags his tail. Jake flips through the brochure and
climbs the steps. Goes inside.He sits down on the couch and
reads . His eyes suddenly light up. Nadine has been wakened
by the dog's hollering and enters the kitchen den area.She
looks at Jake.
Whatcha lookin' at baby?
Oh, just a brochure for a cruise
to the Caribbean islands, that's
all. And guess what? We can afford
this one. The kids are goin' to go
Let me see that.
She takes the brochure and sits down with him.After looking
over the details.
I know what your thinkin' honey,
but I want to show you somethin'.
Come here.
He takes her hand and leads her to the window above the
kitchen sink. In the backyard is a mini school bus. He
points to it.It is full of aluminum cans and empty Marlboro
Right there darlin' is our ticket
. I'll clean her out and sell off
the cans and trade for all those
cigarette packs. And we have
enough cash to make up the


                       JAKE (cont'd)
difference. All you got to do is
say yes and I will have that bus
cleaned out and running in no
time. What do ya say?
Jake, that cruise is cheap enough
but, we have to drive plumb to
Mobile, Alabama. Do you have any
idea how far that is?
Honey, I can have the bus in good
shape in a few days. It runs good.
We can pack it up and go. Come on.
Just think, there we are on a big
cruise boat sailing away to some
tropical island paradise. Come on
baby. Lets do it. Come on.
She hesitates and looks at Jake. He looks at her.
I said OK
Jake (STARES) into her eyes. He turns away toward the living
Go wake the kids! Go wake the
kids! I'll wake the kids!
The telephone rings.A beautiful fair complexioned woman in
her late twenties answers.She is dressed in bathrobe and
towel wrapped around her head.
On the other end. Aspiring looking businessman.


Hi sweetheart. What are you doing?
Just out of the shower honey.
Where are you?
I'm working . Do you want to meet
me for lunch?
Sure. What time?
Oh,say noonish at Capella's. Is
that OK?
Yea. OK. How is it going at work?
Great. Fine.Uh, I need to tell you
something. Hold on.
Tristan takes the phone away from his ear for a moment and
looks down. Then he raises the phone quickly.
Look honey, I am going to be sent
to London soon and just wanted you
to know we can do that cruise to
Hawaii as soon as I get back. It's
only for two weeks.
You're kidding?
Look sweetheart, I have to be
there for the meeting. It can't
wait and this career move is
Tristan, we planned this thing for
over a year. You always pushed it
forward. Now again. No more. No
way this time.


Please listen sweetie, I promise .
We will set it up as soon as I get
back. Don't do this to me now.
Don't do this to you. What about
me? I have waited on you for
everything. My career is second,
my life is second. We are doing
this now!
A tear drops from the corner of her eye. Her lips
Wait a minute. I can't forfeit my
entire career for a stupid cruise
to Hawaii now. It makes no sense.
We will be married soon and you
know you want the best for both of
Jenny (CRYING)
No. You want the best for you. I
can't do this anymore.
Wait. Wait. You can't be serious.
Jenny drops the phone and runs to her bedroom launching onto
the bed in tears and crying .
That's it! That's it!
Tears streaming makeup running. She gets off the bed. Turns
toward the bedroom door. Stands upright. Wipes her face and
smears the makeup even more. Walks directly to the dropped
phone and hangs it up.Picks up the phone again and puts it
to her ear.
Goodbye Tristan. I didn't like
your name anyway.
She cries( LOUDLY )again and hangs up the phone.
Jenny walks straight over to the computer desk and races
through cruise site favorites she stored.


This one. No that one is it. Where
is it? Oh damn.
The computer mouse moves quickly in her hand. It stops
suddenly. Click. Click.
That's it.
PC screen shows Low Budget Caribbean Cruise Vacation,
Families and Singles welcome.
Jenny clicks on Pay Pal and completes the transaction.She
leans back in the chair and breathes deeply her face a mess.
There . I'm gone.
Ben is sitting at his desktop running through
numbers.Holding cell phone with his shoulder pressed against
his ear.
Yes sir,that account is safe and I
will process your request
immediately. As a matter of fact,
I am doing it right now. Have a
good day. Goodbye.
In one motion, Ben releases the shoulder grip on his cell.
It drops . He catches it with his left hand. He continues to
blaze away on the computer. The cell rings. He answers
(On the other end)
Priscilla speaks.
Hello Darling. I can't make the
noon lunch. Hair appointment. Wish
you were here.
And where is that?


I'm home now on the way out.
OK. When can I see you.
Oh, is six good.Downtown at Le
Bernardin. I'll call. Is that good
for you?
Sure. Fine. I got to go. Lots to
do. Love you.
See you then, darling.
Priscilla snaps the razor phone shut and drops it on the
bed. She reaches for her lover.
He is such a sweet boy. Makes lots
of money too. Look sweetheart, I
need to go.Kisses.
Ben goes for coffee at the common station on his floor. He
strolls up. His friend chats with him.
Hey man. What's up?
Busy. Very busy. Hey, what are you
doing tonight?
Meeting Priscilla for dinner. Why?
I thought she was seeing somebody
else. You two still an item?
Ben turns his head slowly toward Carter. (EYES WIDE)
Seeing somebody else? No way. Who
told you that?


Nobody. Maybe I misunderstood.
Anyway , hey, I gotta go. See ya.
Ben (STARES) into his coffee cup.
Ben walks straight back to his cubicle.The section manager
comes toward him. Ben looks up and greets him.
Hey Ben. Take this and use it. You
deserve it. Get out of here for a
few days. Come back rested.
John hands an envelope to Ben and walks away.Ben opens it.
Two tickets inside for a cruise out of Mobile, Alabama. Ben
throws it on the desk and sits back. Places both hands
interlocking his fingers behind his head.
Ben stands next to the maitre de' waiting.Priscilla walks in
smiling.They are escorted to a table and seated.
How was your day darling?
Fine. Yours?
Ohh. Glorious.
Priscilla leans forward and (WHISPERS) to Ben.
Sweetheart, your fly is open.
Ben glances down. The white linen tablecloth obscures his
view. He reaches subtly downward and zips the fly quickly.He
looks up.
Great. What would you like for an
appetizer? I will call the waiter.


Why, you of course.
A tilted head with smile , Priscilla unrolled her napkin.
Are you sure?
(PUZZLED) look on Priscilla's face.
Yes. Why do you say that? You know
I love you.
Ben looks around the room and back into her eyes.
Am I really the only one?
Of course darling. That isn't
Of course.Would you like to order
What is wrong sweetheart?I know
something is wrong. Tell your baby
what's wrong?
Ben hesitated then looked her right in the eyes. She looks
If there is someone else just tell
No one. No one at all. Has some
young thing been whispering in
your ear?
What do you mean? No one is
whispering in my ear. What do you
mean whispering in my ear?
You know Ben, pretty young
associates of yours in the office
are always looking for a good man
with a good future. That is you


                       PRISCILLA (cont'd)
Maybe pretty young men are
whispering in your ear UH?
Let's not be coy here pretty boy.I
think this has gone far enough.
Please let's order now.
Ben's face is red as he looks into her eyes. Priscilla has
the look of a deer in headlights and blushes.
Oh my God, it is true! You are
seeing someone else. You
Priscilla sits (SILENTLY) head down then up with a look of
defiance..People sitting nearby turn to see what is
happening. Priscilla tries to calm Ben.
Just calm down for a moment. I can
Ben sits (Glaring) at her..
I am listening.
In this town, a woman has to keep
her options open.It is the law of
the jungle and you should accept
that. Please do not take it
I won't if you promise not to take
this personal.
I am out of here.
Ben rises from the table, pushes his chair back with his
legs and starts for the door. The tablecloth follows him
dragging plates,forks and glasses onto the floor.(CRASH). He


abruptly turns and reaches for the pants zipper.He turns and
leaves quickly.
Clear blue sky . Warm breeze. John and Matty sit by the pool
drinking coffee and reading. John drops the Wall Street
Journal and looks at Matty reading a magazine.
                       JOHN T.
You know I was thinking. We have
done about everything there is to
do and have everything money can
buy. What do you want to do?
Really, what would you like to do
What did you say John?
Matty looks over her sunglasses exposing her white hair and
blue eyes.
                       JOHN T.
You weren't listening. I said.
Look. Why don't we do something?
Sugar, we are doing something.
Look around you . What else do you
want to do?
John rises (SLOWLY) , his bathing trunks sagging around his
waist, he moves toward the crystal clear waters of his large
lap pool. He speaks (QUIETLY).
                       JOHN T.
I am just plain bored.
Matty puts her magazine down and stands up. She follows John
to the poolside. He sits down with his feet (SWISHING) the
water. She joins him.Matty looks into his eyes and reaches
up with her right hand stroking his brow softly.
Listen old boy. You know I would
follow you anywhere, but we have
so much going on in Houston with
the charities and social functions
, it keeps me tied up days on end.
If you are bored ,it is not from


                       MADELLINE (cont'd)
lack of something to do. What is
on your mind?
The terrace door opens behind them and Kate moves across the
patio stones with a brochure in her hand.
Hey. What are you two doing? I
can't leave you alone for five
minutes and you are pawing all
over each other like two puppy
Both John and Matty turn to see their daughter. A natural
glow and radiance accompanies her as she glides across the
pool area.
                       JOHN T.
Baby girl.Where have you been?
That graduate school keeps you
from us too much. Come here.
Kate bends down next to her father and kisses his head. She
turns to her mother and kisses her on the cheek.Matty looks
up at Kate.
Your poor daddy is bored to tears.
He needs you to get him going and
fast. I know if anyone can it is
you dear one.
Is that right daddy?
Kate turns her attention back to her dad.
What is it daddy, don't you like
to ride your horses anymore. I
know, you miss the oil on your
face and hands from all those
gushers you tackled back in the
day. Come on, let's go for a swim.
Kate pushes her Dad into the pool and joins him. Floating
together she looks at him (DIRECTLY).
Daddy, I been wanting to go diving
again.We've been researching some
new coral reef problems and I
think you would enjoy a little


                       KATE (cont'd)
salt air.
                       JOHN T.
I am in water right now and there
is salt in the kitchen. Why would
I want to do that?.
OK. What if I told you it was for
me as a potential investment
opportunity? I have been looking
at low budget cruise trips to the
Bahamas and found out that some of
these entrepreneurs are trying to
break into the market by lowering
rates and using smaller ships. If
we hop one of those boats, I get
to dive and you get to help me
decide if small cruise ships are
the wave of the future.What do you
John looks at his daughter and (SMILES).
                       JOHN T.
Will that make you happy
That will make me happy daddy.
Both (TURN) to Matty.
                       JOHN T.
What do you think honey?
Oh, why not? As long as it is a
nice ship and we aren't gone too
long. OK
Matt is leaned over a bench adjusting the settings for a new
die he built. His hands are greasy. Someone walks up behind


Matt, you have a call in the
Without moving Matt keeps working.
OK. Thanks.
Matt grabs a rag and wipes his hands turning to go to the
office phone. It is (LOUD) in the machine shop.
Matt shuts the office door behind him and picks up the phone
as he looks through a plate glass window separating the
machine shop from the work area.
      (Tight on Matt)
Hello. Yea. OK great. When can I
pick it up. I will be there.
Matt reaches for his cell and quick dials his uncle. Matt
turns to look at the work board on the wall.
Hey Uncle Mike, can you stop by
Majors Electronics and pick up the
GPS package for the boat?
      (other end)
Sure, how is everything else going
on the boat? Do you think we can
go ahead and move her this
weekend. That will give us a few
more days to load her and drill
the crew,
Yea, she's ready. I need you to
get everybody rounded up for the
trip. I have to meet the banker
tomorrow and settle things.Oh,did
they fill the hold and top it off
today? We need that fuel stock.
Yea. It's done. Looks like we are
actually goin' to pull this thing
off. Are you excited yet?


After 3 years . You bet.
Don't worry. You are the best and
the boat is fine. Just get some
rest tonight and take care of
business tomorrow. Remember, you
have put your life in this and it
will pay off. It is your dream and
it is happening.
Allright. Lets do it. See ya.
Hey Mike,thanks for sticking with
me on this project ,through dad's
passing and everything else we
have been through. If dad was
alive today he would be mighty
proud of you for all you have
Hey, I am just proud to know you
Matt walks into the lobby of the bank and moves to his left
down a hall to Mr. Gray's office.
Matt taps (SOFTLY) on the door. Mr. Gray opens the door.
Hi Mr. Gray. How are you?
Mr. Gray (NODS) his head and closes the door behind Matt and
turns to walk back to his desk. He silently sits down
reaching for his bifocals.After sliding them on smoothly, he
looks Matt right in the eye. Mr. Gray's eyelids flickering
furiously and constantly during the meeting.
Hello Matt. We need to discuss a
time line for repayment of the
debt you have established here. I
have been willing to overlook some
of the financial setbacks you have


                       MILFORD (cont'd)
incurred to date,aside from the
interest payments you have
sometimes been late on, however
bank policy overrides much of my
personal forgiveness. We have
therefore packaged your loan to
include all outstanding debts
incurred regarding Bertha and
placed the amount owed on file to
be payed in the following manner.
Please allow me to show you where
we are here.
Mr. Gray opens a file lying on his desk.He (ADJUSTS) his
glasses.. Matt (STARES) down at the file and leans forward.
According to our records, you have
invested $100,000 cash after your
father passed on 3 years ago,most
of which was invested in the hull
of the boat. The gift from your
uncle in the amount of $57,000
brings your total cash investment
to $157,000. We have invested
$350,000 in engine works,
electronics and many other things
too numerous to detail. I realize
your labor has been an intensive
investment on your part so the
value of Bertha could be said to
exceed $500,000. Is this correct
according to your figures?
Very well. I think we are finished
here. Have a good day and Bon
Both men rise from their seats. Mr. Gray softly shakes
Matt's rough hand. Matt leaves quickly.


Matt drives up Hwy 43 outside Mobile 6 miles and pulls off
the road onto a dirt road headed to Bertha's mooring site.He
climbs out of his truck and climbs aboard. He enters the
captains bridge carrying components for the GPS package .
Uncle Mike is on the bridge working on other things.
Hey buddy.
Hey,look, I built this perch pad
just for Frank. What do you think?
Your gonna take him along aren't
Are you kiddin'. He is my good
luck charm. Thanks.
Why don't you put it right next to
the intercom switch. That way we
can have fun with the passengers
every morning?
Mike turns toward Matt.
Alright, but you may reconsider
that .
Gotta have a little fun with them.
Matt installs the components and inspects the SSB radio,
VHF radio(Marine Band),Henschel general alarm
system-bell/switch, Hailer/Intercom system with siren, 26
Mile Surface Search radar to interface the GPS, compass
,Digital Depth Sounder with alarm and GPS interfaced with
She works fine.That's it we are
ready to cruise.Fire her up , I'll
cut her loose. Let's move her to
Mobile port.Get Frank while I'm on
the deck and show him the perch.
Put some food on the intercom
handset and see if he can push it


Matt goes out of the bridge door.Mike mounts the perch pad
to the dash next to the ship's Wheel.Climbing down the steps
to the deck Matt jumps off the last step onto the decking.
Matt moves over to the dockside and casts off a big rope
tying Bertha to the dock. He walks to the rear and throws
another rope off. In his right hand is his Nextel .He raises
it to his face while his eyes are all over the boat.
Let's move out Mike.Easy.
Roger, big boy!
(Birdseye view). Shot shows view of Mobile Channel and pans
down river to Mobile Bay. Bertha profile is in view going
down river.
Mike looks at Matt smiling.
Listen to her.
Deep sound of powerful engine power plant below.
Mike and Matt look forward toward Mobile Bay.
Yellow mini school bus sits in driveway. On the side a
graphic spells HOME SKOOLED. Jake is on top loading
baggage.He is on hands and knees. Nadine exits the trailer
with more stuff.She looks up at Jake.
Baby, that's all we can take. Did
you think we were movin' to


I reckon this is it. Do you want
that extra bag of cheetos cause
you ain't gettin anymore pickled
eggs for a while. We can't take
that long a ride with you and them
No. Let's move out. Tell the kids
we're ready to go.
Trailer door is open. Nadine turns toward the door.
Are y'all going with us or not?
Get some water for Maynard and get
that five gallon bucket, fill it
up with his dog food and put it
out back under the shed. Nellie
Caldwell will fill it in a couple
of days.
Jake climbs down off the mini bus and approaches Nadine.
I gotta go next door and see the
old man. Be right back.
Jake moves across the front yard and walks through a small
patch of woods to Mr. Wilson's small frame house. Wilson is
sitting in his rocking chair half asleep on the front porch,
shotgun leaning against the house wall.. Chickens are poking
around the yard and on the front porch.Jake gets next to the
side of the house.
Mr. Wilson are you there?
Silence. Just the chickens (Cackling).
Mr. Wilson!
Nothing.Jake eases around to the front porch and spots the
old man.
Mr. Wilson are you awake?
Wilson's eyes fly open. His gray straw hat slumped down over
them. His right arm moves over the arm of the rocker. His


hand reaches for the shotgun.He knocks it over.( BOOM). The
shotgun goes off as it hits the porch floor blowing a
chicken into feathers on the other end.(STUNNED SILENCE).
Jake stands frozen, eyes bulging.The old man looks at him.
      (Tight on Jake's
I just came by to tell you we were
leaving for a few days. Could you
please check the mail and hold it
for me?
Well, you can just go to hell
too.Look what you did.
Jake stares at Wilson and hesitates. Wilson's foggy gray
eyes look fierce . He spits a chew of tobacco onto the
That's OK never mind. You have a
good day now. Nice to see ya.
Jake backs up slowly and eases over to the side of the house
disappearing into the woods.
Nadine is standing at the trailer front door with keys in
hand. She locks the door and turns to see Jake crossing the
yard back to the house.
What in the world is that old man
doin now?
Nothin. Lets go.
JJ and Jenella are sitting in the back of the mini-bus
looking at Jake.Nadine comes down off the porch and gets
into the passenger seat. Jake crawls up into the drivers
side and turns the key. Smoke and backfires erupt for a few
seconds. Jake backs out of the driveway stops then gases it.
Jenny climbs into a cab. Cab moves off the curb and goes


Ben throws his luggage into the trunk of the cab. Driver
slams trunk lid down. Ben and driver get into cab.Traffic is
heavy. (NOISY). Cab drive swings out into flow and blends
into traffic headed for Kennedy.
The Beauregards move as one toward their Lear Jet.The
captain greets them with a salute.Matty walks up plane steps
with John behind her. Kate follows. The captain gets aboard
and shuts the door.The jet engines are warming. Jet rolls
out of hangar and onto tarmac. The plane rolls out to
Jake's minibus is sitting in 8 lanes of Atlanta traffic.
Jake puts his tattooed arm out the drivers side
window.Nadine is sweating. JJ and Jenella are arguing.Jake
looks over to the BMW next to him. The driver looks back and
scowls.Jake shrugs his shoulders and waves to the man.The
BMW eases forward.
Can you believe this traffic?
No. Can't you get us moving out of
here? These kids are driving me
Darlin', I'm doin' my best. What
do you suggest I do now?
Nadine points over to the emergency lane.
You gotta be kiddin'. I can't do
that. Look at all this traffic.
Do it now or I will.


Alright, hang on.
Jake forces the minibus over in front of two outside lanes
and reaches the emergency lane. Horns (Blast).The minibus
moves up the side of the traffic and speeds up. The van
flies down the emergency lane. When an opening appears he
puts it into the first lane and maneuvers through traffic at
high speed. Gone.
The orange minibus is at the parking gate shack. Jake is
looking at the attendant.
This ain't no RV. It is a
SUV.Anybody could see that.
Sir, all RVs must park in the lot
marked RV parking. Your vehicle,
whatever it is, is not an SUV.
Do you realize it costs 100 bucks
a week over there? Once again, I
am telling you this is a SUV not a
Sir, you are holding up traffic
here. Look, you have to move your
vehicle now or I will have to call
the Port Authority. Do you
I will stay right here until you
let me in. Go ahead and call the
law. This is a SUV vehicle.
Attendant turns to look at parking spaces. He looks back at
Jake and points to a spot open.
Sir, I am going to let you
pass,but you will have to pay at
least half the cost of parking for
an RV.


Jake shakes his head in agreement.
OK. There you go. That's fair
Jake moves his vehicle forward and out of the way. A line of
cars behind him begin to move forward also. Among them are
an assortment of older and newer automobiles. An AMC Pacer
is among the group. JUST MARRIED is written on the rear
glass and a Tennessee license tag is present.Jake parks
nearby. The children jump out of the bus.Jake crawls out
slowly.Nadine also exits the bus slowly. The family gathers
at the rear of the bus.
Alright kids we are here. Let's
get everything and move out.Nadine
which way do we go?
Nadine surveys the Port area and sees Port Entry Terminal 3.
There it is .
Nadine points toward the sign.
Right there. We have to go. Get
everything off the bus.
The kids scramble and Jake climbs on top of the bus. He
throws down bag after bag with some plastic Piggly Wiggly
bags in the mix.They move out quickly toward the Port
Ben deplanes and moves through crowd to baggage. (Crowded)
Ben stands at circular and retrieves one bag. He holds a
carry on bag.


Jenny checks her watch. She moves out of the plane and
quickens the pace. She checks her watch again. Jenny trots
to baggage claim.
Ben walks to exit doors outside terminal. He sits on bench .
Looks at watch.
Jenny claims baggage.She holds one carry on with shoulder
strap. Jenny extends the suitcase arm and pulls the bag
outside the terminal to a cabstand. Without hesitating.She
begins running to a vacant cab.
Ben spots vacant cab.Rises from bench and walks quickly
toward it. He passes a young woman on his left . She had
dropped her carry on bag.
Jenny is retrieving her dropped carry on . A young man
passes her quickly toward her chosen cab.Jenny picks up the
carry on. She (RUNS) to beat the young man to the cab.
Ben hails the cabby.The driver gets out and walks to the
rear of the cab. He opens the trunk.(People everywhere).The
cabby throws the luggage into the cab.
Jenny loses a shoe running and arrives at the same moment
also hailing the cabby. He notices her as he is securing
Ben's luggage.She looks at the cabby.
You saw me first. You know you
did. He was behind me when I
dropped the carry on. This is my
cab. Right?
Cabby looks at her. Cabby looks at Ben.
I will let you two decide that.
Looks like a tie to me.
Ben (STARES) at Jenny. Jenny stands erect with an expectant
Where are you headed Miss?
Cruise Terminal.


Me too. OK. We will share. Is that
Cabby loads her luggage while she retrieves her shoe.Cabby
opens rear door for Jenny. She enters the cab. Ben follows
and shuts the door. Cabby gets in drives away.
John,Matty and Kate come down the steps of the Lear inside
hangar.John trips and falls into Matty who falls into Kate
who knocks the pilot to the ground. John helps Matty up.
Kate gets up and dusts off her clothes. The pilot is out
John looks down at the unconscious pilot.
                       JOHN T.
Nice flight. Thanks. We will be
back in a few days.
John looks around.
                       JOHN T.
Could someone please help this
A white limo waits outside the hangar. The driver is busy
loading baggage. John , Matty and Kate stand next to the
limo .John looks at Matty and then Kate.
                       JOHN T.
Ever been to Mobile?
No dear. Should I have? I always
thought Mobile was one of your oil
company stocks.
I can smell the ocean air already.
Come on lets get out of here.
John opens the limo door for Matty and his daughter.(
Smiling broadly) Kate jumps in. John gets in. Door shuts.
Driver gets in shuts door and Gone.


Jake stands panting for breath at the gate. Nadine is
showing fatigue. JJ and Jenella smiling. Jake turns to
Why did you bring all this
stuff.Everybody else is carrying
one or two bags except for all
those country lookin' folks over
Jake points to a crowd mingled with several families with
plastic bags, pillows ,(LONG BAGS) and food stuffs.
Jake, you never know what you will
need till you ain't got it.
I thought this cruise had
everythang you can eat and more.
Ain't no use in all this.
The line at the gate opens and the crowd is processed
through.Jake and the family file through into the terminal
The Beauregards exit the vehicle while the driver is busy
calling for a baggage handler. John retrieves Matty out of
the limo. Kate bounces out of the limo and smiles. Matty
looks around the terminal area with John at her side.
John, I have always had a fear of
water. You know I cannot swim. I
am just not comfortable with all
                       JOHN T.
Listen honey, if you don't like
the first leg of the cruise, we
will call the pilot in and we can
just leave. Don't worry.
Come on Mom. It will be fun.


The Beauregards enter the Terminal and process through.
Ben and Jenny exit cab. Grab baggage and disappear
separately into the crowd.
Jake's family stands among a throng of people milling
around. The intercom announces departure times.
                       INTERCOM VOICE
Passengers sailing aboard the SS
Bertha should be ready for
embarkation in 15 minutes. Please
follow the purser agent's
People begin to assemble in the terminal for the walk to
Bertha.Jake and his family follow the crowd. The appearance
of "country folk" is prominent among the Bertha passengers.
Why are so many people looking at
us funny darlin'?
Nadine glances around and looks back at Jake.
I don't know baby. Maybe they
recognize us. I don't remember any
of them. Do you?
Jake looks at Nadine as they walk out onto the concrete
docking pier.
No. They look a little funny to me
with all those cell phones glued
to their ears. (LAUGHS)
                                         BEN ON PIER


Ben walks out onto the port decking and walks briskly past a
large Carnival Cruise Ship. He looks up at the enormous
structure over 1000 feet long.
                                         JENNY ON PIER
Jenny moves past two large cruise ships and breathes in the
Mobile Bay air, a mixture of fresh and sea water.She sees
the shadows of evening beginning to lengthen.The sky is very
clear and blue.Jenny's cell phone rings. She answers.
Jenny, don't hang up. I just
wanted to tell you I've been
thinking about us for the past two
weeks and can't sleep at all.
Tristan, don't even go there.
Where are you?
Flying in from London.I will take
a red eye this evening and be in
LA by early morning.Will you be
Not exactly.
What's that supposed to mean? I
need to see you and talk this
thing out once and for all.
Please, let me see you.
Tell you what. You keep talking
and I will listen very
closely.Don't ask me any
questions, just tell me how things
are going to change. OK?
Jenny tosses the cell phone into Mobile Bay.
                                         BEAUREGARDS ON DOCK


Matty is looking at all the strange people carrying
things.She turns to John. Her eyes catch his.
John Beauregard, where are you
taking me? Most of these people
look like the cast from The
Beverley Hillbillies.
                       JOHN T.
Not so fast darling. Just give it
a chance. I am sure some of these
people probably work aboard the
ship as entertainers.
Of course, why did I not think of
that. Of course.
Kate strolled along appearing anxious to get aboard.She
turns to look back at her parents.
Come on you two. Quit Lallygagging
Captain Matthew Dobson stands at the gangway with his first
officer, Mike Turnbuckle. He squints his eyes and points
Here they come, Mike.
Behind them stands Bertha. Two hundred fifty feet from stern
to bow.She is dwarfed by the major cruisers.The hull is a
V.Astern she has twin vertical exhaust pipes extending 20
feet above the deck.There is a constant stream of water
vapor emanating from her stern.Rising 4 stories above the
deck is a superstructure resembling a rectangular box the
length of the boat. A V shape is formed at the front of the
superstructure.The bridge extends forward at the top of the
V shape.
Matt turns around and looks up at Bertha.


Prepare for the guest's arrival.
We are boarding passengers in five
A flurry of activity on deck. Crew positions for passenger
reception. Activities coordinator walks down gangway with
loud speaker in hand. Bar Tender/Bouncer stands at top of
gangway motionless.
                                         SHIPS KITCHEN
Cooks prepare massive amounts of chicken and gravy and
potatoes.Lots of country cooking happening in the galley..
Finally over 150 passengers are standing in front of Bertha.
Matt is surveying the crowd and sees quite variety of
people.He looks at Mike.
OK here we go. You ready? Tell the
AC to use that bullhorn.
Mike spins around and waves to the Activities Coordinator.
He signals OK.David, the AC puts the bullhorn to his mouth.
OK everybody. Welcome aboard
Bertha. Mr. Matthew Dobson will be
your captain piloting Bertha and
Mike Turnbuckle , his first
officer. I will be your Activities
Guide and Coordinator. I want all
of you to relax and begin to enjoy
the beginning of the cruise aboard
Bertha. So, if you would all
please come forward and file by
the captain, he would like to meet
each and every one of you now.
Come up the gangway and I will
give you directions to your
cabins. In an hour we will be
meeting in the Great Hall and
detailing the layout of this
beautiful ship. Please come aboard
now and welcome to all.
Back in the crowd John and Matty look on and listen at the
spectacle. Matty turns to John.
Get me out of here right now!


                       JOHN T.
Matty, this a low budget cruise
with venture potential. I wouldn't
want to pass up the chance to see
this thing in action. I know the
ship is odd, but Kate is anxious
to get going and she appears to be
happy just to be with us. Please,
lets try it. I told you we would
jump ship in Key West on the first
stop. Now will that help you
change your mind?
Oh, I suppose but you promised we
would leave anytime I felt
uncomfortable. Right?
                       JOHN T.
That's a deal.
As the lines form, Kate approaches the captain. He is
greeting passengers and shaking hands. She reaches for his
hand and smiles.
Hello.I am Kate Beauregard.
Matt locks onto her eyes.
Hello. Welcome aboard. My name is
Matt. Matt Dobson.
Matt is silenced by her radiance.
Nice to meet you. Do you own this
UH.Yea. You're mine. I'm sorry.
Yes. She's my boat.
Kate slides by and other passengers follow. Jake's family
walks up to the captain.
Captain, sir. This is a fine boat
you got. Where is the dinin' hall


Just follow the crowd , the AC
will show you the way. Welcome
Bertha is boarded. All passengers accounted for. They are
directed to cabins and facilities. Lots of activity aboard.
The captain goes aboard with Mike. The crew tends to their
duties. Matt goes to the bridge with Mike following. On the
bridge Matt checks all the ships monitors and switches. He
calls down to the engine room on the inner-ship comm.
Everything OK down there? Give me
Other End
It's go here captain.We can idle
for the next few until you give
the word.
The Purser intercoms instructions for securing valuables to
the passengers. The AC announces meeting in 15 minutes in
lounge area. Passengers are milling about. Matt leaves the
bridge to prepare for embarkation. Matt checks all the lines
and radios for anchor to be weighed.He notices people astern
checking out the large chrome exhausts . Steam is pouring
out the stern near the water line. The sky is clear. The sun
is beginning to set.Matt returns to bridge. He intercoms.
Folks we will be leaving the dock
in a few minutes. Enjoy the food
in the dining area and for those
who want to see a beautiful sunset
please feel free to sit on the
deck. You will notice the deck
chairs are secured to the deck for
safety purposes. Bertha is a fast
ship and I think you will enjoy
her speed and comfort.Thank you.


One of the passengers standing against the stern railing
looks down the side and notices a large hydrofoil fin
gleaming just below the surface. He moves to the other side
of the boat and another fin is present.
Did you see those huge fins? Look.
The other passenger leans over the rail.
What about that. This must be some
kind of prototype boat.
The AC stands on a small stage with microphone in hand.He
looks around the full room. All eyes are on him.
Folks, we will be departing in
five minutes. The captain would
like for all of you to remain
seated wherever you may be at the
time the ship moves forward.
Bertha is equipped with Hydrofoil
fins that will steady her ride and
level the boat as we move faster.
You will notice a surge as we
launch and then a lifting
sensation for just a few moments.
Don't be alarmed. Bertha is
designed for your comfort and
speed. Bertha is the fastest
cruise yacht that we know of.This
will be an exciting cruise. Have
The passengers talk among themselves in small groups about
the unusual statements made by the AC. Many return to their
cabins not knowing what the ride will be like. Others go to
the bar. Many others go outside onto the deck for the sunset
and departure. The captain is double checking all systems
and Mike is communicating with the engine room.Three crewmen
stand ready to cast off lines when radioed.


Dock personnel are receiving cast off lines. One is looking
up at the side of Bertha's cabin section.He turns toward his
working buddy.
                       DOCK WORKER
Look at that thing. Can you
believe those people actually
boarded it. It even has the
Alabama State Flag flying . You
talk about a redneck cruise. You
are looking at it.
Bertha eases away gently from the dock.She is in reverse and
backing away.
                                         CAPTAIN'S BRIDGE
Matt steers Bertha gently back for a few hundred yards.He
slows her to a stop and pushes the stick forward. Bertha
enters the Mobile Bay at sunset.(LOW RUMBLING SOUND). Matt
turns to Mike in the next seat.
I am going to throttle up a little
Bertha passes Dauphin Island and begins to enter open
sea.Matt intercoms to passengers and crew.
Please be seated.
Matt pushes the stick down to full throttle. A deep
(ROAR)comes from beneath the ship. Bertha's bow rises
sharply, her stern sinks only slightly. Out of the water she
comes . The exhaust pipes blowing hard, but with no
smoke.Bertha is still rising and moving faster. The sea is
calm. Bertha zooms past Dauphn's last shoreline. She is
accelerating very quickly.Jake Sparks stands at a urinal
with several others in a common area men's room. On each end
of the bathroom are two toilet stalls.They are occupied.
Jake looks to his right his left foot supporting all his
weight. He balances on the left foot while his right arm is
pushing the man next to him on his right. Those on his left
begin to slide away. On his left the occupants of the toilet
stalls are slammed back into the toilet tanks. On his right
those occupants are lifted off the seats and slammed into
the stall doors. Jake holds fast to his position .


                                         REAR DECK
Ben is sitting on the stern deck with drink in hand.He looks
out to sea. Jenny walks around the corner near him holding
her drink. She sees the back of Ben's head and approaches
slowly. Bertha takes off . Jenny lurches forward spilling
her drink on Ben's head and falling over into his lap.He
grabs her tightly and holds on.Her head is between his legs.
Her feet in the air.
                                         DINING ROOM
A couple sitting across from each other are sipping drinks
through straws as quickly as possible to avoid spilling
their drinks. Other passengers are holding onto plates of
food and drinks.
                                         ON FRONT DECK
Newlywed couple from Tennessee sit facing the sea and
wind.They are pressed against the wall behind them. Their
faces twisted . They are holding each other (TIGHTLY)
                                         BEAUREGARD CABIN
John holds Matty . The cabin looks tilted.
                                         NADINE AND JAKES
Nadine is reaching for JJ as Jenella screams.
                                         BERTHAS PROFILE
Bertha reaches cruising speed and levels.
                                         MENS ROOM
Jake zips his fly turns around and walks out the bathroom
door. He looks back (GRINNING) as he leaves.
                                         CAPTAINS BRIDGE
Matt is looking forward through the windshield and
recognizes Kate standing facing the sea on the front of the
bow . She is holding the railing. Matt stares at her for a
few seconds. He turns to Mike.
What a woman. She stood there the
whole time we were coming out of
the water.


Yea. Keep your eye on the ball
right now. What is your knot
70 knots. I will slow her to 40
knots for a while.
Your course setting?
It is set. We are headed to Key
Ben pulls Jenny up (Awkwardly).
Are you alright? Here let me help
you up.
Jenny is trying to compose herself as Ben pulls her up. She
strokes her hair with both hands and uses her fingers to
wipe her face. She fumbles with her blouse and straightens
her back as she finally stands upright.
I am fine thanks. You saved me
from going overboard. I am
grateful for that.
Ben jumps up , offers his chair to her and reaches for
another.She sits down and collects her thoughts.Ben leans
toward her.
Are you sure you are alright? You
look a little shaken. No wonder
after that ride.
No really, I'm OK. Nothing like
being upside down between
someone's thighs when a boat is
racing over the water.I got you
all wet. Sorry.
Ben raises his right hand slightly.


I am fine. You just relax a little
and I will go get you something to
drink.What would you like?
Thanks. I saw a drink posted
inside, Hillbilly Martini. I would
like to try one of those, whatever
it is.
Sounds good to me. Be right back.
                                         CAPTAIN LEAVES
Matt goes down to the deck and walks toward Kate still
looking out to sea. He puts his hands together and looks
down for a second, then moves closer.
Kate turns her head and sees Matt approaching. She turns
around and reaches back to hold onto the railing with both
Captain. Hello. I think some of
your passengers probably need to
clean up about right now. Don't
you think?
Maybe. Didn't seem to have that
effect on you as I saw it from the
Kate smiles.
I am having a good time. I hope I
can convince my parents to do the
same. They are probably sitting in
the cabin right now frozen to
their bed clutching each other.At
least I know my mother will be
putting blue marks on dad by now.
I will personally apologize to
them for any scare they may have
had, Bertha likes to come out of


                       MATT (cont'd)
the water pretty quick so that she
can deliver a smooth ride as
quickly as possible. I hope you
understand. I tell you what. I
will offer to take your dad down
for a tour of the engine room if
you think he would like that?
I think he would love it.
Good. Consider it done.Do you want
to introduce them to me sometime
this evening, maybe around dinner
Sure. We will be down for dinner
later and I will look for you.
Great. See you then.
Matt turns slowly away still looking back at Kate. He bumps
into a man dressed in overalls,at least six feet five inches
tall and is stopped by the sudden jolt. Matt looks up at the
fellow who is also wearing a long beard. He apologizes
briefly and walks toward the bridge steps. Kate smiles and
laughs (Softly)
Passengers are gathering in the Great Hall,a very large area
designed in the center of Bertha to accommodate dining and
entertainment. Matt leaves the bridge with Mike steering the
ship. He joins the passengers for dinner. A buffet off to
the side contains huge quantities of food. In the background
a DJ selects the music. Sounds of country,rock and
contemporary music play through the dinner hour.The Sparks
family sits with others around one of the tables. Ben walks
into the dining area.He sees Jenny and approaches her
slowly.She is standing at the buffet plate in hand.
Hey there.Are you feeling better
Jenny turns to look at Ben. Her eyes are glazed .


Are you kidding. I feel great.
Come on let's eat some of this
stuff, whatever it is.Do you know
anything about country cooking?
Ben sees that Jenny has been drinking a little too much.
Yea sure. Here, let me hold your
plate and you tell me what you see
that you may like.
She hands him the plate and stares at the buffet.
      (bends forward)
Well,UH OH.
What is it?
Jenny throws up all over the buffet. Ben looks on. She gags
repeatedly then her knees weaken and she begins to drop. Ben
catches her and picks her up.He carries her out to the
hallway and asks someone for a wet rag. He wipes her face
while holding her against the wall. She revives. He strokes
her cheek.
Are you going to be OK? You are
supposed to sip the Hillbilly
martinis not drink them down.
Where is your cabin?Let me have
the key and I will help you get
there. You need to sleep for a
She reaches for the key in her pocket. Hands it to him. He
carries her in his arms to her cabin. Puts her into bed.
Turns out the light and shuts the door and leaves.
Jake is eating mounds of food. Nadine and the kids are
putting it away also.
      (mouth full)
Honey, I am in hog heaven. Those
ole' boys in the kitchen know what
their doin'. Pass me that jug of
sweet tea.


      (mouth full)
That's right baby. I bet you
they're from Kentucky.I ain't
never seen so much chicken and
taters. Did you try the mashed
sweet taters?
Oh yea.Do you like the way they
fixed the cornbread and beans?
Kids, we gotta go after that
blackberry cobbler directly.
      (without looking
That's my boy.
Nadine looks at JJ. Jenella scoots her chair away from JJ.
Son, I've tried to learn you, but
you just won't teach. This ain't
no barn. Just cause your daddy
ain't got no sense don't mean you
have to be like him.
Daddy, I can't eat that stuff. I
already got a belly full. Can I
take some cobbler back to the
Sure boy. You and your sister go
up there and grab a box or
somethin' and load her up. We can
snack on it tonight.
The kids get up and go toward the buffet.Jake and Nadine
never look up and keep eating.
Matt is standing next to the Beauregards in the buffet line.
Hi there. You must be Mr. and Mrs.
Beauregard. How are you?


      (hands in the air)
Oh dear God!The woman vomited all
over the food. John, please let's
go now. This is just too much for
me to handle.
                       JOHN T.
Calm yourself darling. Let's go
outside for a moment while things
are tidied up a bit. Would you
excuse us Captain.
Of course. We will have everything
cleaned up shortly and I promise
you Mrs. Beauregard, I will make
sure you receive only the best
pickins on the buffet. Please
accept my apologies.
Matty looks at Matt and just walks away with John.Matt turns
to Kate and raises his right hand palm up.
      (palms up hands
Hey, it happens. I hope this won't
ruin the trip for your mom.
Nay, she'll get over it in a few
minutes. How are you?
Good. Would you like to join me
for dinner?
I'm starving. Let's do it.
Ben strolls around the deck outside and looks at the
stars.It is dark as pitch.He sees a shadow to his left on
the decks starboard side. It looks like a short dark person.


No answer. He moves toward the shadow. He stops and looks
again . The dimly lit deck area allows the small person or
thing to escape.
      (speaking to
I must be seeing things.
Ben strolls further down the starboard side and opens an
entry door to the cabin hall.He walks to the small elevator
Inside stands a chimpanzee next to the elevator controls.Ben
What are you doing here?!
Monkey points at the elevator panel. The monkey reaches out
palm up.Ben looks at the chimp and finally slaps the palm of
the ape.The chimp turns and looks at Ben his right index
finger pointed at the elevator panel lights. For a moment
Ben hesitates then holds up 2 fingers.The chimp punches 2
and 3. The elevator goes up.The doors open at the 2nd floor.
Ben steps out and turns around to look at the monkey.The
door shuts. The monkey is gone.Ben stares at the elevator
door for a moment then robotically turns and walks to his
cabin for the evening.The elevator doors open on the 3rd
floor. The monkey scampers down the hall toward the forward
area entrance to the bridge. He opens the door to the
captains bridge enters and shuts the door.
The captain is sitting with Kate finishing dinner. The MC at
the other end of the room stands at a speaker near a small
stage and dance area..The dining area is full of people
finishing their meals.
      (cowboy hat on)
Folks, if you would like to enjoy
some good music and dancin' please
come on over here. The party is
getting ready to start. Please
enjoy your food while we get ready
to go.
A few YEE HAWS and ALRIGHTS come out of the crowd as people
begin to migrate toward the large party hall. The dining and
dancing areas are integrated into one room on Bertha. Tables
and chairs are scattered throughout and many people move
forward to be near the dance floor.


Come on baby let's party.
OK Baby. I'm ready. Kids, you can
stay a while until the drinkin'
starts and then you can go up to
the cabin or game room.
Momma, me and Jenella want to
dance for a spell before we do
anything else. OK?
Yea Momma. I seen a cute boy over
yonder and you never know.
Matt and Kate rise from the table.
I should take mom and dad some
food .
That's a good idea. Make sure you
take some dessert and ice cream.I
need to get back to the bridge.
I will send up a couple of
Hillbilly martinis to go with it.
Ask your dad if he would like a
little tour of the decks below.
I am sure he would. He needs to
get away from mom right now. I
will talk to her and get things
smoothed out a little. Wish me
Kate walks away.
The crowd grows larger in the hall and music begins to play.
People are already on the dance floor.The DJ cranks up some
line dancin' music first, then plays a romantic ballad.
There are a couple of guitarists and fiddlers on board and


they play and sing after a few more songs. The bar is
pumping Hillbilly martinis, beer, water, soft drinks and
everything else. It is (LOUD) but not raucous. The bartender
is a very large man and generally has nothing to say. He
keeps an eye on the crowd just in case.The DJ asks everyone
to switch partners. He plays a recent hit song, "Don't Cha",
by the Pussy Cat Dolls. The song creates (CHAOS) when some
of the women notice their original partners, husbands and
boyfriends, paying too much attention to the seductive
dancing performed by the new female partners. One women
bumps another. A chain reaction occurs and the females begin
to hit each other.
Matt is at the Wheel.The chimpanzee, Frank ,is perched
slightly above the middle of the control panel on a small
platform.It is placed strategically so that he can view the
sea and keep a sharp eye on things.
      (looks at Mike)
When did the boys send Frank up
They called up a few minutes ago
and told me to expect him. He
jumped right up there. I gave him
a few snacks. I think he is a
little tired. They wore him out
down there handing them tools and
doing odd jobs.I think he is glad
to be here.
Did he come up the elevator?
I'm sure he did. I wish he had
come forward to the bridge steps
outside, but he must have been too
tired to bother.
That's alright, he knows this ship
like the back of his hand since
day one. I guess he feels like he
owns it.Why don't you go for
supper. I got it here. Take your
time. Enjoy life a little.


Mike stands up stretches and starts to leave the bridge.
      (left hand
Oh Mike, tell Dale to call me in a
few minutes. I am goin' to take
somebody for a look around the
boat after while.
Sure thing.
Mike leaves the bridge and shuts the door.
Matty and John are eating and drinking. Kate stands at the
porthole window looking out.
Hey dad, the captain wants to show
you the boat. Wanna go?
                       JOHN T.
Sure. When?
Anytime now.
                       JOHN T.
      (looks up at Matty)
That alright with you honey? I
shouldn't be too long. You girls
can do without me for a while
Matt is inside the bridge at the wheel.
Frank.Hold the wheel steady.
Frank jumps off his perch pallet and into the captains seat.
He holds the wheel.Matt moves away to check some
instruments.A knock on the door.The chimp turns to look. The
chimp sees John at the door window looking in.John sees the


                       JOHN T.
      (eyes bulging)
Oh shit!
Matt reaches for the door handle and pulls the door open.
Hey. How are ya? Something wrong?
Matt turns and looks quickly at Frank.He turns back.
Oh.Don't worry we are in good
hands. Frank is just holding her
steady. Come in, please.
John steps in and looks around.Matt calls up a crewman to
take over the wheel. The crewman arrives. Matt directs John
down the hall to the elevator.John looks back at the chimp.
(Eyes Wide)The two enter the elevator and go down.Matt
inserts a key in the elevator panel for the engine room
level.He turns to John.
Let's go down and check the engine
room fuel processor.
                       JOHN T.
Fuel processing?
Yes sir. Bertha is a little
different than most ships.
                       JOHN T.
Oh yes. I can see that already.
The elevator doors open and they step into a large open
lighted area full of holding tanks and steel tubing with a
small manufacturing plant for processing ethanol. John' eyes
are taking all this in.
                       JOHN T. (os)
What in the world is this?
                       MATT (os)
Well sir, it is probably the only
ethanol manufacturing facility on
a sea going vessel.The ethanol
fuel holding tanks contain
approximately 65,000 gallons and
the processing plant is automated


                       MATT (cont'd)
and corn fed from the front
holding area or bow.All the raw
stock corn is conveyed to the
stillworks. You might say we have
a very large moonshine operation
John steps forward and begins to look more closely.
                       JOHN T.
Did you do all this yourself?
I had a lot of help. Uncle Mike,
whom you saw as my first officer
has invested heavily in time and
money. I put most of my life into
this boat for the past three
years. Even Frank has helped. We
have mostly lived on this boat for
that length of time. My daddy left
me his die making business and
machine shop, so that helped us
get things done a little faster.
                       JOHN T.
So, the fuel capacity is enough
for you to go just about anywhere.
But , what about the engines?
      (gestures with
Come with me. I will show you.
They walk to the rear toward a close door separating the
stillworks from the engine room.
Sir, you might want to put on the
ear protection right there on the
                       JOHN T.
Nay, that's OK.
Matt opens the engine room door. The sound of turbines and
motors is deafening. There are three young men working in
the engine room. They are wearing bandanas and sweating
profusely. John and Matt enter and shut the door behind


Matt points to four turbine engines side by side. He then
points to a very large generator system connected to them.
John watches and looks carefully. Matt points further to a
huge drive motor attached to the propeller shafts that turn
two screws. Matt raises his hand and signals to the young
men OK. He walks over to one and pats him on the back. John
watches him speak to the young man.
      (hands cupped to
You guys are awesome. Get some
relief and go eat. Then some shut
eye. Been a long day. (Shouts)
John and Matt exit the door and shut it behind them. The
sound dissipates enough for them to hear each other .
                       JOHN T.
That is incredible. This whole
thing is incredible. You should be
proud. Tell me what the range of
this boat is?
Sir, we don't know. I guess we
could go around the world as long
as the corn supply lasts.
                       JOHN T.
What is that steaming over there?
Well, we thought it might be a
good idea to clean up some of the
fuel for Hillbilly Martinis. I
hope you don't mind. Personal use
of course. Well, personal for
anyone aboard who wants it.(LAUGH)
John and Matt go back to the elevator. Get in. Go straight
up to deck level and exit together. As they step out onto
the deck John looks at Matt.
                       JOHN T.
Son, I was in the oil business for
a long time and got rich. You have
conquered a new world, but some
people may not like you for it. Do
you realize what might happen if
this got out?Have you told anyone


                       JOHN T. (cont'd)
besides the crew and close
No sir. Only those that needed to
know. I built this boat from an
empty hull up on Black Bayou.
Nobody lives around there. Me and
Mike kept it to ourselves for
three years while we processed the
fuel and built the superstructure.
Most of the money went into the
hull as you can see. The cabin
areas suffered a little for
creature comforts, but it is
                       JOHN T.
Why did you let me go down there
and look around?
I could tell you were a man of
integrity and Kate is a fine
woman.She could only have been
raised by good folks. Besides ,I
promised her I would show you
                       JOHN T.
Thank you. I am fortunate to have
those two women beside me. We can
talk about your project a little
later. I better see about Matty.
John and Matt separate. John heads back inside to the
elevator. Matt walks along the port side to the bridge
The hall has thinned out and most passengers are gone for
the night. Jake and Nadine are slow dancing with other
couples. The music is classic country love songs. The
newlywed Tennessee couple are cheek to cheek smiling. There
is a mix of young and old, country folk and city folk. The
bar is standing room only. The last bastion of the night.The
very large bartender is pouring up lots of Hillbilly
Martinis and beer. Some of the good ole boys are eyeing the
pretty city girls in Daisy Dukes.The city boys are eyeing
the pretty country girls. One country boy bar patron looks


at the city boy beside him, both are very high.The country
boy looks into the eyes of the city boy.
                       COUNTRY BOY
You lookin at my wife?
The city boy (POINTS) to a young homely woman sitting with a
nice looking women who appear to be close to the same age.
                       CITY BOY
      (high pitched
No sir. That is the one I had my
eye on.
                       COUNTRY BOY
How old are you boy?
                       CITY BOY
I am twenty three, sir.
                       COUNTRY BOY
I've got socks older than that
                       COUNTRY BOY
Looks like you struck pay dirt
friend. That is my daughter. Go
ask her to dance now.
Matt, Mike and Frank sit at the controls. Matt checks the
navigational course heading and calculates wind and currents
with a smooth sea, an arrival at Key West at 6 am.. He sets
Bertha's cruising speed at 75 knots. He sits back.
Mike, you can rest your eyes a
while on the cot over there. I
will keep an eye on the wheel.
Frank get up there and go to
You sure? When did you sleep last?


I don't remember, but don't worry.
I'm fine. I will wake you in about
three hours.
OK. Goodnight.
Jake gets up out of bed and slips on a pair of shorts. He
goes for coffee in the dining room. Downstairs he goes to
the forward deck and sits on a chair to enjoy the sunrise.
Bertha is moving faster than normal. Jake moves to the rear
deck to avoid wind. He sits and drinks his coffee.The early
risers join him. Most of them are country boys.
Mike and Frank are sleeping. Matt is sleeping at the
wheel.Bertha approaches the Florida coastline at 75 knots.
Tank and Wisteria Islands appear on the horizon. Key West
appears as the sun rises. The glare on the windshield causes
Matt to blink. Bertha passes between Wisteria and Tank
islands. Bertha is 3 tenths of a mile from the Key West
Port.Matt's eyes open. Frank wakes and jumps on the perch.
Frank looks forward and begins to scream. Matt is wide awake
and reaches for the wheel. He begins turning the wheel hard
to the right. He tries to reach the throttle. His hands grip
the wheel. Bertha turns slowly in an arching motion her port
side rising .In the cabins (CHAOS). Matt struggles to turn
the boat. He again reaches for the throttle. Bertha passes
between two yachts. A large wake follows. Bertha is closing
on the harbor docks barely missing another watercraft.Matt
turns Bertha away from the docks and pulls the throttle
back. Bertha slows and continues to turn at 45 knots slowing
gradually. Matt pulls all the way back on the throttle. He
straightens Bertha heading away from the docks. Bertha comes
to rest next to a small sailing pleasure craft.(HUGE) wake
follows. Bertha sets down.Mike is staring through the
windshield. Matt is staring silently through the window.
Frank is screaming (LOUDLY). Jake and the early risers are
frozen in their chairs. Coffee cups broken on the deck.


Boats bobbing like corks. Next to Bertha small sailing boat
with cabin. Two tanned men emerge on deck (Yelling).Jake and
the boys rise up and walk to starboard railing. Jake sees
men in small boat.
Howdy boys.
Two men look up at Jake.
                       FIRST GAY MAN
My God! What in the name of heaven
are you doing? You almost killed
Y'all look OK to me except for the
                       2ND GAY MAN
You're insane. This is a peaceful
haven for us. You are barbaric.
Where is your captain?
Listen little man or whatever you
are.You tell your girlfriend to
fire that thang up and get the
hell out of here before we launch
your butts out of that bathtub.
                       FIRST GAY MAN
How dare you. We will be reporting
this to the authorities.
Good. Tell them you were visited
by aliens if you feel like it. Now
get goin'.
Jake turns to the boys and walks away.The gay couple crank
the boat engine and leave.
Reckon this here is Key West boys.
Mike looks over at Matt sitting at the wheel. Urine is
streaming down Matt's chair. Matt is silent and staring.Mike
goes to the intercom.Frank is quiet.


(INTERCOM) Folks. Welcome to Key
West. We will be docking shortly.
Beauregard cabin
Matty is holding on to John. Kate is standing at the cabin
window looking toward Key West.
John, that is it. We are leaving
today as soon as possible. That is
                       JOHN T.
Alright darling. Let's just
compose ourselves and get to the
We made a real impression on the
natives did we not!
That is not funny Kate.
She is snoring.
Ben is looking for his shorts.
Mama, where's daddy?
Nadine looks under the bed and in the closet.
Mama, have we lost daddy?
Oh honey, he's around here
somewhere. Don't you worry.
But where Mama? How did he get
throwed out of the cabin? The door
ain't broke and window ain't


Jake Sparks if you have been
killed I will never forgive you,
Nadine runs out of the cabin and down the hall.
Matt moves Bertha toward Key West Bight. A shore patrol
meets him.An officer with a bullhorn appears on the shore
patrol boat.
                       SHORE PATROL
Follow this craft to the harbor
and dock north of Bight.I will
instruct you further as we
approach. Your vessel has exceeded
harbor idling speed and is subject
to fines.
Matt follows shore patrol to dock and ties up.
(Intercom) This is the captain.
Passengers can enjoy breakfast
this morning in the dining hall.
Afterwards the AC will be
coordinating your day trip on Key
West. Please have a nice day.See
you back onboard at 4PM
Let's get this done with the
authorities and try to smooth
things out. Any ideas?
Yea, we had an emergency. You are
very ill and I could not wake you.
Lay down on the floor when you
hear the EMTs coming up to the
bridge. I will tell them to get an
ambulance. You stay still.
Are you kidding me Matt.What kind
of illness do I have that you
would haul ass in here at 70knots?
I don't know. Think fast. You can
regain consciousness when the
stretcher gets here.Then tell them
anything. We will surely get off


                       MATT (cont'd)
the hook that way and the good
lord knows we need a break.
OK. I'll try. Just go on and get
the passengers settled down. Tell
them I was sick too. Frank you can
stay here with me.
Matt exits the bridge. He goes down on deck and meets the
shore patrol officer. The officer radios for an
ambulance.Mike is watching from the bridge.
Frank, come here and lay down with
me. Just lay here until I tell you
to move.Put your arm around me
Frank wraps his long arms around Mike on the floor.
Matt waits for ambulance. Shore patrol stands next to him.
                       SHORE PATROL
What exactly did you say is wrong
with him? That paramedic is going
in now . He needs an update.
I am not sure. He has fainting
spells and usually comes to pretty
quick.I just don't know.
Shore patrol officer looks skeptical.Ambulance arrives with
more paramedics. First paramedic enters bridge.Sees Frank on
top of Mike. Medic moves closer. Stretcher carries Mike on
shore into ambulance.Ambulance speeds away.
Yes officer. I had to get here
quick. Sorry for scaring the folks
on the water. Can I go now, it is
going to be a busy day. I need to
check on Mike and secure the ship.
                       SHORE PATROL
OK. I think we are done here. You
know you need to have a doctor
aboard next time?


Yes sir. Will do.
Breakfast is served. Beauregards sit a table.
John, use your cell and call in
the pilot.
                       JOHN T.
No argument. I do wish you would
change your mind. We will be in
St. Thomas by tomorrow morning and
you know how nice it is there.
Forget it.
I think I will stay with the
cruise. I need to get some fresh
air and I would like to do some
diving . Are you guys OK with
I wish you would come with us
dear, but if you want to stay OK.
Mom, I am going to look around Key
West for some things and snorkel.
Do you want to join me?
                       JOHN T.
I think your mother has a greater
need for rest. You go on and have
a good time. We will see you
before we leave.
OK. see ya later.
2nd floor cabin deck
Ben knocks on Jenny'cabin door. No answer. He knocks twice
more. No answer. Ben turns the door knob.Peeps into the


Jenny. Are you awake?
Are you OK in there?
Yea. Come on in.
Ben goes in closes door. Walks over to her bed.Jenny has
cold washcloth on her head. Eyes bloodshot. Makeup ruined.
Can I get you anything?
Yea. A gun. I'm going to put
myself out of misery.
Come on. Let's get you up. I got
the medicine for your ailment.Get
dressed and I will wait for you
outside on deck. Trust me. You
will be better in no time.
Ben leaves. He goes down to the bar and orders a hillbilly
martini with tomato juice. Light on the martini. He mixes
Goody's powders in with the mix. He leaves the bar.
Passengers depart for shopping and touring.
Sparks family is shopping for beachwear. Jake looks at
bright colored baggy shorts. Nadine looks at a large bikini.
The kids are walking through the shop.
Hey baby, does this look good for
Jake holds up the trunks. Nadine smiles.


Those are you baby.What about me
in this bikini?
Nadine holds a bikini up to her large body.
OOH EEH! That is hot.
A mixture of straights and gays flow through the streets. .
They are pointing at the sight of the rednecks. The
newlywed couple is riding in an electric mini car. A street
vendor approaches them at a stop street.
                       STREET VENDOR
You folks lookin' for a deal on
some sunglasses?
                       NEWLYWED MAN
What you got?
Vendor opens case and shows MP3 sunglasses.
                       NEWLYWED MAN
No thanks. We can hear just fine.
No need for the aids.
                       STREET VENDOR
NO. NO . NO. These are the latest
thing. Sunglasses with a music
player . You just put them in your
ears like this.
Vendor demonstrates the glasses.
                       NEWLYWED MAN
How much for two pairs?
                       STREET VENDOR
Well, how about fifty bucks
each?Two pairs one hundred bucks.
Hell of a deal. These go for like
two hundred in the stores. Hey,
what is that jar for?
Vendor points to mason jar with tinted moonshine gleaming in
the sun.
                       NEWLYWED MAN
Nothing. Just a little shine. You
want a taste? Here's a cup. Let me
pour you a little.You're givin' us


                       NEWLYWED MAN (cont'd)
such a good deal why not? Try it.
Vendor sips the drink and steps back. Mouth open and red
                       NEWLYWED MAN
It's good ain't it?
                       STREET VENDOR
Oh yea. Whooh.Got anymore I could
get off you?
                       NEWLYWED MAN
Not with me. Tell you what. I can
give you that jar of shine for
those two pairs. Think that would
work for ya?
Vendor makes trade. Newlywed couple rolls away smiling with
sunglasses on.
Jake and family mount bicycles and move along the streets
looking at the sites. They are dressed in beachwear. Jake
Where are you from?
LA. You?
New York.
Dialogue continues.Strolling down beach.
John is on cell talking to pilot.
                       JOHN T.
No. We did not hear that. When
will it get here? (Pause) You
serious? When can you make it in?
(Pause). That will be too late.OK.
just stay there. I will get back
to you.


What is it darling?
John quick dials Kate.Looks at Matty.
                       JOHN T.
There is a major storm approaching
Miami and they don't know if it
will come down this way or not.
Could be just tropical . The
weather advisory is for a watch.
Should be hitting the coast in a
few hours.
Kate's cell rings. She does not notice. Too much noise in
the shopping district. John leaves voice message.
So, what are we going to do?
                       JOHN T.
You stay here. I will see the
Matt hears weather forecast on radio. Checks his radar.
Alerts crew . John knocks on door.
Come in sir.
John enters. Sits with Matt on the bridge.
Have you heard about the storm
coming this way?
                       JOHN T.
Yes. What are your plans?
If it veers this way, I will move
the departure time up and notify
everyone to be ready to leave. The
locals are announcing the storm
throughout the city, so I am sure
everybody will come back early. We
will keep a head count at the
gangway. I have the boat heading
out, so we can move straight out
fast if need be.Have you talked to


                       JOHN T.
Voice message. She's shopping.
Good. I need to get to the
hospital and check on Mike. Would
you excuse me now. I need to go?
                       JOHN T.
Sure. So, you think we could
outrun the storm?
Matt is leaving the bridge.
Bertha can take us out of here .
Those big boats will stay ported
and won't try. We are not big
enough to stay here in a major
Public announcement goes out all over the city about
impending Category 4 Hurricane .
Mike pulls IVs out of arms and dresses. He leaves
hospital.Catches cab. Outside cloud formations begin to roll
in.Mike jumps into cab.
Hey cab driver, what is goin' on
with the weather?
                       CABBIE 2
Looks like a big one coming in.
Where to?
Port. Quick.
                       JOHN T.
Captain says we will leave soon
and outrun the storm.
Oh dear. Call Kate again.


John dials Kate. No answer.
Four young local men are moving toward Bertha carrying heavy
steel lines rolled up. They move into dock area and go into
the water. Two unroll long coils under dock and attach ends
to two dock pillars. Two others wade out rolling line on
bottom. They swim under to Bertha's stern. Attach lines to
fins on stern sides looping steel lines around stabilizer
rods.They swim away and disappear.
Two men matching the description of the couple on the small
sailing boat who were almost hit by Bertha appear to be
talking about Bertha as they look at the men carrying the
rolls of cable.Mike passes by them on his way to speak with
local authorities.The two men turn toward Matt.
                       FIRST GAY MAN
Hey captain, you better get that
double wide trailer out of here.
You know how they attract
Matt passing by the two.
You gentlemen have a good day here
in Key West.
Mike gets out of cab at the dock. Matt walks quickly toward
Hey buddy. I just heard. Are we
ready to leave?
Gotta round up the passengers. The
words out but I can't predict when
they will all get back. What do
you think we should do?
The AC gave all of them his cell
number. Get hold of him and have
him check voice messages. He can
call them back. That will help a


Do it now.
You have really taken good care of
me today. Why are you being so
nice. I am not used to that.
Ben puts his hands on her shoulders. Kisses her.
She throws her arms around Ben.
What are you doing to me?
I was going to ask you the same
Ben notices clouds forming.
Looks like rain. Let's head back
to the boat.
Jenny reaches for his hand. They turn and walk away.
Jake stands waiting outside a shop for Nadine and the kids.A
man standing nearby looks over at Jake.
How ya doin?
                       MAN ON STREET
Good. Heard about the storm?
Been too busy to pay much
                       MAN ON STREET
Are you traveling on a cruise


                       MAN ON STREET
You better get back there soon.
Could be a dangerous storm.
Jake retrieves his family and bicycles away.
Passengers begin to arrive at dock for boarding. Many are
dressed in brightly colored new outfits.AC stands on gangway
counting heads and checking off names. Most are now aboard
as the storm approaches quickly. Lightning in the distance.
Wind picks up .
Kate shops and then goes for a short trip snorkeling at a
nearby beach area with small reef. She comes out of the
water. Her belongings on the beach contain the cell phone.
She sees the weather and hurries to grab her things. She
moves out toward the city driving a golf cart back to the
Mike looks up to AC.
Is everybody accounted for?
Yes sir. All aboard accounted for
except for the Sparks family .
OK. Keep a sharp eye. I gotta get
on the bridge.
Matt heads for the bridge. The Sparks family is racing on
the bikes. Jake is panting heavily. They reach the dock.
Jake falls off the bicycle. Nadine loses control of her
bicycle and someone catches her before she rides off into
the water.
The sky is black. Winds high. Port Authority alarm siren
goes off.Kate is flying through the streets close to the
departure point.John and Matty realize she is not back and
search frantically around the boat for her.Sparks family
climbs aboard slowly.


Mike and Matt busy at controls.
Start engines. We need to cast off
quickly now. We need to get out to
sea .
Check the harbor for traffic. I
need to exit here straight out.
I got it up here. Go down and make
sure everything is clear and get a
final on the passenger count.
Matt jumps off the wheel chair. He slides down the outside
stair railing and hits the deck. He goes aft to the rear
deck and double checks the cast off lines. He grabs his
nextel and puts it in front of his face.
Looks like we are good to go. You
won't believe what I am looking
They call them waterspouts around
these parts, we call them
tornadoes back home.
Where is it?
It ain't just one and they are
right behind us coming this
way.Move out and I mean move out
fast. Now.
The engines rev. Matt looks at the dock and sees a figure
approaching fast in a golf cart. Kate is screeching to a
halt on the dock next to Bertha. She jumps out and runs
toward Bertha. The gangway is gone. Bertha moves forward
very quickly. Matt moves watches Kate as she stands on the
dock. He is on rear deck looking directly into her eyes as
Bertha moves past her. 150 feet away from the dock the steel
lines underwater tighten and strain. The lines pull and


stretch. The pillars under the dock explode underneath Kate.
She is thrown out into the water amidst debris. Matt dives
into the water coming up and swimming as fast as possible
toward her. She is not visible. He strokes faster and
reaches the debris . She is coming to the surface gasping
and flailing wildly.Matt reaches her and holds tight to her.
Mike radios Matt
Mike felt the surge as Bertha left the dock.The sudden
jerking pull is felt all over the boat.
Matt, you there? Come back.
No answer.
Matt where are you come back?
Matt holds Kate and looks into her eyes. He checks her body
for injury.
Are you OK?
I think so.
(Radios Mike on Bridge)
The captain is overboard. Return
to dock area now.He is in the
water with someone.
Mike stops Bertha. He backs up slowly.
Back up . Keep coming. Alright
Throw them a line quick.
A line enters the water. Matt grabs hold. Crewman hauls it
in. Other crewmen help lift the two to safety.
(Radio). They're aboard. Move out.


Mike pushes full forward, full throttle. Bertha comes out of
the water . Winds are high, funnel clouds approaching . Rain
pouring.Matt and Kate enter Bertha from rear deck. Kate is
shivering. Matt holds her close. They walk down hallway
looking for her parents. Matt on Nextel.
Mike, notify the Beauregards there
daughter is aboard and safe.
Bertha is approaching 80 knots. The sea is choppy. Funnel
clouds follow out to sea. Bertha passes Wisteria and Tank
Islands. Bertha is in open sea. Lightning all around.
Matt enters bridge . Mike busy at wheel. Frank is
Set a course south southeast to
St. Thomas. The storm is headed
Radar is working. GPS is on the
blink. Look at the heading and
chart the course manually.
Matt sits down and stares at the control panel.
Passengers are frightened. Most are adjusting to the
momentum of Bertha's thrust.Bertha rises and levels.
Passengers notice the ride becoming level and smoother.
Bertha is cruising easily. The storm is passed and
passengers begin to move around the ship. The dining hall is
filling up. People are lining the bar for drinks. The DJ
plays some music. The Beauregard's enter the dining area.
Ben and Jenny join the crowd. Kate works her way up to the
bridge.She knocks on the bridge door.
Hey there. Are you OK?


Yes. Thanks to him.
Kate points to Matt at the wheel. She enters the bridge and
walks over to Matt. Matt turns to her smiling.Kate leans
over and kisses Matt.
Thanks for saving me .
I would do it everyday if I
thought this would happen.
Kate smiles and stands closer. She looks ahead through the
windshield and pets Frank.
Mom and dad are still onboard. I
guess the positive is the storm
changed mom's mind about leaving
the cruise.
That's a good thing isn't it?
Kate smiles .
Are we headed to St.Thomas?
Yes. Should be there in a few
hours. I am going to slow her
down. The sun is out and the seas
are calm now. I think these folks
need time to enjoy the ride.
Can you guys come to dinner with
me. You need some downtime too?
I think we can arrange that. I
will get some people up here to
take the watch.
Great. See you guys later.
Kate leaves the bridge.Matt slows Bertha to 20 knots.


The drinks are flowing . Ben and Jenny are engrossed in each
other at a table. John and Matty are sipping Hillbilly
martinis.The captain enters the room. Kate rises to meet
him. The room erupts with applause. Matt stands still and
bows his head.
There is no need for all that
folks. We just thought it would be
better to escape the storm rather
than stay in town and enjoy it.
Everybody just keep eating and
drinking. We are going to make
this cruise a good one yet.Kate
stands and toasts the
captain.Everyone raises a glass.
Cooks are busy frying and mixing.One cook steps through the
rear hatchway leading to a platform on the lower stern side.
He casts a large net out and ties it off. He throws five
gallon buckets of table scraps into the sea. He carries a
radio . He raises the bridge with the radio.
                       SHIP COOK
Hey up there. Cut the speed to 4
knots.This is the cook, it is
fishing time. Catch of the
As Bertha slows to a crawl the cooks radio crackles.
(Radio) Is that good? Over
                       SHIP COOK
Perfect. Over and Out.
The cook chums the sea with chicken and scraps. He watches
the chum floating and waits a moment. The net is extended
out to 60 feet, 20 feet deep.Fish appear. Some large groups
some smaller.Another cook appears out of the hatch.


                       COOK II
Are you ready?
                       SHIP COOK
Yea.Hand it to me.
Second cook hands a stick of marine dynamite to the first
cook. First cook lights it and throws it in the water.
(BOOM). Fish begin to float up to the surface and the
waiting net gathers them . Both men begin to haul in the
net.The net gets closer and fills with a large catch.The two
pull the net up and tie it off to the side.A small winch
pulls it in and up. They pass fresh catch into the hatchway
while those inside clean and cook the fish at once.The first
cook finishes the haul and rolls up the net.
                       SHIP COOK
(Radio) OK Bridge. Catch is
Bertha's speed increases slightly.
(Intercom) Chef
The buffet is now serving fresh
seafood. Please enjoy. Thank you.
Matt is seated with the Beauregards. Kate beside him.
I hope you enjoy seafood folks. I
believe it is fresh.
What kind of fish is being served?
Matty takes another sip of Hillbilly Martini.
Mrs. Beauregard,the variety of
fish is our trademark here on
I think I will finish the martini
first.Why don't you and Kate let
us know how delicious it is?
Kate and Matt move toward the buffet.


I'm not sure how much your mom
likes me.
I'm not sure either, but she sure
does enjoy the martinis.
(Intecom) Activities Director
For all you who would like to
visit the top deck and haven't had
the chance to enjoy the pool,
please feel free to join me on top
in a few minutes. It is not a
large pool, but there are plenty
of chairs and the kids will have
some fun.Sunset is coming up and
we will be having a few fireworks
tonight. For you fishermen, the
rear deck will be set up for night
fishing at 8pm. Please attend.
Thank you.
The MC announces a Karaoke contest with prizes given for
best singer. The DJ cranks up some country music, rock and a
variety for all passengers to enjoy. Ben and Jenny join in
the party.Jake and Nadine dance and party. John and Matty
sit quietly and drink the night away. Kate and Matt
dance.Mike spots a beautiful young single woman and dances
with her. The bar is cranking out Hillbilly martinis, beer
and wine. The music continues through the evening.
Kids are playing around the pool area and in the pool.Young
men and women are lying on the deck chairs watching the
sunset. Fishermen gather astern for night fishing. The sun
sets in the west as Bertha trolls along south to southwest.
Frank leaves the bridge and strolls around the deck.He walks
back to the rear deck to watch the fishermen. He tugs on
women's pants and shorts legs as he moves along.Fireworks
are brought to the foredeck and placed to shoot forward and
to the side.


People gather outside for the fireworks. John and Matty join
the crowd. People are standing on all sides and on the top
deck for viewing. Many people are high from drinking a
little too much. John and Matty are among them . Kate and
Matt exit the dance hall and go out to join the rest. Matt
is standing in front of John who is leaning back against the
ship's railing on the port side.He sips a martini. Matty
wanders away briefly to catch a view of the fireworks with
Kate.Matt turns to answer a question from someone to his
left. Matt turns back to see John is gone. He looks to his
right and left.
Oh well, I guess he just got
Matty and Kate approach Matt.
Matt, have you seen John?
Yes. He was just here. I thought
he was with you?
The fishermen are busy reeling and casting. One fisherman on
the left rear decking gets a bite.
I got a big one boys! (Shouts)
Throw a light on my line!
The floodlight is focused on the fisherman's line. The sea
is slowly churning as the light exposes the catch.
OH. My Lord. I have caught a man.
Flopping in the water with a large fish hook penetrating his
pants from the lower part of the crotch up and over his belt
and missing his flesh, is John Beauregard.The bait fish on
the large hook is flopping around. John is attempting to
swim . The fisherman pulls hard and reels faster and faster.
Someone behind him reaches for a rope and loops the
end.Several people gather after hearing the commotion.Matt
and Kate follow others to the rear and look into the sea.
Matty pokes her head between two larger men.She sees her


Get him out. Please get him out of
there. Kate , get your father.
Matt get John before he drowns!
Hauling and lifting John to the railing the floodlight
exposes the horror on his face. His pants are pulled up to
his chest exposing his legs , socks and one shoe missing. He
clutches the empty martini glass.He is pulled safely onto
deck and is helped with the hook. He is released from the
rope and stands near his wife.
                       JOHN T.
Don't worry darling, I am quite
alright and the water was fine.
Dad, let's get you upstairs and
into some dry clothes. Matt, I'll
be back.
Kate and Matty lead John into the elevator hallway.
OK everybody it's over. You guys
can continue fishing.I will let
you know when Bertha gets ready to
move faster. Please continue.
Frank is back on his perch pad. Matt and Mike are working on
the GPS electronics trying to reload the computer
programming. Matt charts the course to St. Thomas . Kate
comes into the bridge deck and closes the door.
Hi guys.Dad is fine. Mom is
babying him. They are back down in
the dance hall dancing to some
slow music.
Why don't you steer the boat for a
while. I'll take over for Mike so
he can go downstairs and visit for
a few minutes.
Are you sure?


I'll let you two be alone for a
while. Matt, when the crowd thins
out downstairs, I will let you
know and notify the crew that we
need to make up some time.See ya
      (to Kate)
Hop up there. You'll be the
captain for a while.
Good deal buddy.
Mike exits the bridge. Kate sits at the captain's chair.Matt
sitting in front of a computer screen .
So, what are you going to do after
graduate school?
I haven't decided for sure. Daddy
wants me to take over some of his
business, but I think I belong
closer to the sea.What are your
plans after the cruise?Are you
going to stay with this cruise
venture for a while and see how it
A lot depends on how the cruise
balances after we get back. I have
to justify the trip on the books
and think about it. Otherwise, I
could sell her and keep the shop
going. It is a good living .
What about family?
Well, it is just me and Mike and
Frank right now. No ties at home.
Mom and Dad both passed a few
years ago and my sister moved to
Oklahoma City after she married.
Got a niece and nephew out
there.What about you? Are you ever
going to settle down and get
married, have children, the house


                       MATT (cont'd)
and white picket fence?
I don't see the picket fence , but
I do see a man.
She looks over at Matt. He raises his head from the computer
screen turns and looks into her eyes.
The party is in full force. Dancing and drinking. Music
rocking. Jake is sweating and trying to dance to a rock song
with Nadine. Nadine is bouncing all over the place. John and
Matty are very high on Hillbilly martinis and dancing. An
oldtimer and his wife are dancing to the rock music.
Folks, this has been one heck of
an evening. Ya'll are great and I
hope you have had a good time. The
captain wants to tell you we are
getting closer to the time Bertha
will move faster and she will
steady after she climbs in speed.
But for those that want to finish
off the drinks and find a
comfortable place to lay your head
now would be a good time. We'll
keep on playing for a while
anyway. So, thanks again.
Matt takes the helm and aligns his course setting. He
reaches for the intercom switch and flips it on.
We are set to increase speed at
this time. There will be a
momentary acceleration. You may
just be aware of the movement for
a few minutes. Thanks.
Matt pushes forward slowly. Bertha begins to rise up out of
the water. At 45 knots she planes out and he pushes her up
to 75 knots and settles back.Frank is pulling on Kate's
blouse. She reaches down and he jumps up on her. She gives
him a hug. He kisses her cheeks and pets her head.


That's enough big boy. I need to
get you a girlfriend.
Frank looks at Matt and holds Kate tighter.Kate (Laughs)
He is just a big baby. Leave him
The sky is clear blue. The water deep blue. A coastline is
barely visible on the port side.
The second officer and his mate are steering Bertha. Matt
and Mike are in their quarters sleeping. Frank is sleeping
on the bridge. Most passengers are asleep. The cooks are
preparing breakfast.The smell of coffee filters through the
                       SECOND OFFICER
Call the captain to the bridge. We
should not be seeing land right
Yes sir.
The mate buzzes the captain and wakes him.
The second officer would like for
you to come to the bridge sir.
Matt dresses and wakes Mike. They enter the bridge.
What's up guys?


                       SECOND OFFICER
Captain, look out there. Should we
be that close to shore?
Mike grabs the binoculars. He scans the horizon. Matt looks
at the coordinates on the chart and estimates.
No,we shouldn't. Slow her down and
all stop.
Matt is conferring with Mike on the navigational system. The
second officer notices a small craft approaching. He looks
through the binoculars.
                       SECOND OFFICER
Look at this.
Matt takes the binoculars. He sees a small speedboat
approaching at high speed. It gets closer. The flag flying
is a star on a triangle with red and white strips.He can see
four men in black with what looks like weapons.
We got company.Mike come with me.
Let's see what they want.Americans
are targets for terrorists. We
can't be too careful.
Matt and Mike leave the bridge and go down to the starboard
side deck.
Most of the passengers are sleeping. Some of the good ole'
boy early risers feel the boat stop and look out the port
hole windows.
Speedboat pulls alongside Bertha. The boat captain points at
Bertha's flag.
      ((In Spanish))
Look at her flag. It is the
insignia of pirates.
It is a replica of the old Spanish pirate ships.He pulls up
alongside Bertha and sees Matt and Mike standing there on
the deck.
Howdy boys. What can we do for


We are coming on board to inspect
your vessel. Identify yourselves
at once.
No comprende partner. Can you
speak English?
      (broken English)
We are getting on the ship. Make
way. Now.
The Spanish crew raises their weapons.
I don't think we will do that sir.
The port side cabin windows fly open. Shotguns and pistols
push out the windows. There are at least 40 weapons.Matt
hears the sound of (CLICKING) of guns loading.Mike looks at
I think you boys should put the
guns down and take a swim. Right
The Spanish crew is still.A shot is fired over their bow.The
cook on the rear deck comes out to see the events.He
disappears into the kitchen door and comes back out.The
Spanish crew jumps into the water.Shotguns blaze rattling
the speed boat and plugging holes into it. The cook tosses a
lit stick of dynamite over the side and it lands in the
speed boat hull.An explosion follows.Fire erupts and an
explosion of fuel sets the boat ablaze.The cabin windows
close shut one at a time.The cook returns to the
kitchen.Matt and Mike stand looking at the inferno.
You reckon those guys can make it
to the coast before sharks eat
Well, one thing is for sure. We
won't get hijacked by that bunch.


Matt and Mike go up the bridge steps and enter the
bridge.They watch as the boat burns .The survivors are
paddling around like ducks.Matt eases Bertha around hard
left and pauses.
Did you recognize that flag?
No. If I knew exactly where we are
it would be a lot easier. Maybe
they are renegades from some small
I think we better bring them
aboard and check it out. They
can't bother us.
It is your call captain.
Go down and get somebody to wake
the passengers. I need to meet
with them in a few minutes. In the
meantime send up a couple of guys
to help me pick them up. Tell them
to bring guns.
Matt turns Bertha around and eases up to the crew floating
in the sea. He cuts the power and heads for the deck. Two
crewmen meet him there. One by one the four men are dragged
up to the deck. Matt picks out the captain and approaches
Sorry about that sir, but I have
some good folks aboard and we are
not looking for trouble. But we
will defend ourselves from
trouble. Do you understand me?
      (broken English)
We are Cuban naval patrol boat.
You are in Cuban waters. You
understand ?
Matt (STARES) at the Spanish captain. He then grabs his


Go get Kate. She speaks a little
spanish. I need her now on deck.
Right away.
Matt instructs the crewmen to take three of the four Cubans
below to the crew quarters for dry clothes.Matt, Kate and
the Cuban chief stand on the deck.
What is going on ?
I need for you to interpret for
me. This man says he is a Cuban
naval officer.
Kate's eyes open wide. She surveys the burning boat and wet
OK. OK Uh.Whatever you want me to
The crew takes the Cubans inside. Matt ascends the bridge
steps with the Cuban crew chief and Kate. They enter the
OK. Here's the deal Kate. We are
inside the 12 mile limit. The
captain here was in the right for
stopping us. We thought he was a
renegade because the boat and crew
were small and I did not identify
their flag. The captain here made
a demand that was hard to
interpret. Therefore, we had a big
misunderstanding. Apparently, some
of our loyal passengers decided to
take matters into their hands and
settle the dispute.So, that's it.


OK. What do you want to do now?
Ask the captain what he wants to
Captain, what do you want to do
I need to call my base and let
them know that my boat is badly
damaged and sinking.
Kate tells Matt.
Ask him where his base is.
Kate interprets.
Puerto Gibara
The Cuban shows Matt the Port on the Chart map on the bridge
Ask him if he wants us to take him
there now.
Kate interprets
Yes.I cannot tell my people you
sank my boat. You are a vacation
cruise ship. I would be humiliated
and probably court martialed. So,
it is necessary to report my
vessel was damaged and caught fire
from engine problems.
Tell him I will speak with the
passengers about this matter and
he can go down to crew quarters to
change into some dry clothes. Then
he can come back to the bridge and
make the call.


Kate interprets. The Cuban nods . Matt looks at the 2nd
Take this man down for dry
clothes.Take Frank with you. He
needs to get some exercise.Go now.
The 2nd officer, Frank and the Cuban leave the bridge and
head down the hall to the elevator. Inside the elevator the
level one button is pushed. The elevator stops at level 2.
The doors open and Jake Sparks stands there. Jake gets into
the elevator staring at the three. He turns around. The door
shuts. Jake cuts the loudest fart ever. His stomach upset.
Frank's ears twitch, the Cuban jumps back. The doors open.
Jake walks away.The others leave the elevator quickly.
Matt stands in front of the dining hall with microphone.All
the passengers are gathered.
Good morning everybody. I have
something very important to tell
you. This morning a Cuban patrol
boat spotted us and approached.We
were apparently inside Cuban
waters and the Cubans decided to
board Bertha. We had some
confusion as to who they were and
some of our people here decided to
take matters in their hands. I am
grateful for that, even though the
destruction of the Cuban vessel
took place. Now we are faced with
a decision whether to take the
Cubans back to their home base,
Puerto Gibara, or take them with
us to St. Thomas where they can be
processed by American Authorities.
The Cubans may know that their
boat is out of communication, but
we can be long gone before they
realize what has happened.The
Cuban Captain has decided he
cannot report the incident as it
actually happened, because this
would jeopardize his career to
have a bunch of vacationers sink
his boat, so he is going to say it


                       MATT (cont'd)
was caused by an engine fire. We
then will be viewed as
rescuers.But, we do not know how
the Cuban authorities will react
once we reach their port. Now, it
is up to you to decide how we do
this. The floor is open .
Sound of passengers talking with each other. The crowd is
buzzing. Jake Sparks stands up.
We don't need those boys on this
boat. Take em home.
                       JOHN T.
Captain, this will create an
international incident either way.
I suggest we take a vote.
OK. All in favor of taking these
guys to their port in Cuba raise
your hands.
Mrs. Beauregard stands quickly.
Captain, wait a minute. If we take
them to Cuba will we likely be
paraded on national television and
get a tour of Puerto Gibara?
That or be put in detention for a
Matty sits down.
OK. All in favor raise your hands.
All the passengers raise their hands. Matty (hesitates).
Everyone looks at her.She raises her hand.
John, get me a martini. No make it
a double.


Matt,Kate,Mike and the Cuban captain stand at the radio. The
Cuban sets a frequency and puts the handset to his face.Matt
looks at Kate.
Tell me every word he says.
Kate nods.
This is Captain Alvarez to base.We
have had engine trouble and a
fire. Had to abandon vessel.
Notify authorities we were picked
up by an American cruise ship .
Get instructions right away.The
Americans are friendly.Out.
(Other End)
                       RADIO OPERATOR
Roger.Will report back. Please
Kate interprets
Mike, let's try to make this as
easy for the passengers as
possible. Tell them to enjoy a
good breakfast and do some
fishin'.The kids can swim on top
deck. We got to keep everybody
Radio crackles. Spanish spoken.
Roger.What? Would you repeat.
Havana? Why? OK.When will the
escort arrive? Now?
Through the bridge window fighter jets appear on the
horizon. A large patrol ship approaches.Matt looks on.


Here comes the welcoming
They want to escort us to Havana
not Puerto Gibara.
That' over 450 miles back up the
coast. We are halfway to St.
Thomas now. That will set us back
another day at least.OK. let's set
course for Havana and when they
see Bertha fly they will know we
could have run and got away. That
will at least tell them we are
good folks.
Matt takes the helm and announces to the passengers to
secure everything and everybody until Bertha planes out. The
seas are smooth and the sky is clear.He launches Bertha out
of the water and reaches cruising speed of 80 knots.
At least we can get there fast.
Let her rip Matt.
Bertha speeds away across the blue waters being trailed by
Bertha arrives close to docking in Havana. A crowd of
uniforms stand on the dock waiting. Some with weapons others
dressed in suits. The Cuban captain radios to shore.
We are fine. Everything is good
aboard. I will meet you as soon as
we tie up. Over.
The passengers are on deck looking at Havana harbor. Most
are drinking cocktails and martinis. Some are waving to the


crowd.The kids aboard are on top deck hollering and enjoying
the event.On shore there is no fanfare.On the bridge, Matt
looks into Kate's eyes.
I hope I am doing the right thing
darlin'.We'll find out soon
Don't worry. You did the right
thing. Just be confident in that.
She's right ole' buddy. Take it in
stride. We'll be fine as long as
the Cuban there sticks to his
Matt turns to look at the Cuban.He appears more nervous than
Look Matt, there is a limo back
off the dock.It has a flag on it.
Yea, well let's do it.
Bertha is tied up. The gangway extended.The Cuban leaves the
bridge and goes onto the dock.He is gesturing to the
authorities. He points to the bridge. The Cuban officials
are discussing among themselves for a moment. The Cuban
captain goes back to the gangway and climbs up to the
bridge.He enters the bridge smiling.
Matt looks at Kate.
Ask him what the verdict is.
What is going to happen now?
The captain and crew will be
welcomed to Havana as heroes. The
president assures him there will
be no problems and wants to convey
his best wishes. He also said it
was brave for him to bring his
boat here when he could have left


                       CAPTAIN (cont'd)
Cuban waters quickly. He also
appreciates your willingness to
overcome the political aspects of
this incident by rescuing our crew
and delivering us to
Havana.Finally, he would like to
meet with the captain for lunch if
at all possible. Everything needed
for the comfort of the passengers
will be provided and they are
welcome to come ashore.
The bridge breaks out in laughter. Matt hugs Kate tightly
and kisses her on the mouth.Mike shakes his fist and high
fives the second officer. Frank jumps up and down chattering
. He jumps up and grabs the Cuban captain. The Cuban captain
holds Frank smiling (BROADLY).Matt holds the intercom
Ladies and gentlemen. We are being
welcomed to Havana and will be
deboarding for a while to meet
some of the Cuban people. I am
sorry for the delay on our cruise
to St. Thomas, but we will get
there I promise. So, enjoy the
unique time we will have here. I
don't think the AC will have the
itenerary for this stop!
Bertha's passengers stand dockside among reporters and Cuban
authorities. Matt, Katie and the Beauregards are meeting
with Cuban officials.Matt directs his attention to a Cuban
Thank you for welcoming us to your
You are very welcome. We are
privileged to have you here. Would
you please follow me. The limo is
waiting to take you to meet with
El Presidente.


I would like to take my
interpreter with me if possible?
Of course, this way please.
Kate turns to her parents.
I'll be fine. You two enjoy the
sights. Call me if you need
Matt grabs his nextel.
Have a case of the finest
delivered to the limo pronto.
                       SECOND OFFICER
      (other end)
Roger. Out.
Kate and Matt are escorted to the limo. The AC is speaking
with Cuban public relations person.
Can you tell us where we could
find a good place to eat and
perhaps let the children enjoy the
                       CUBAN HOST
Sir, we have a wonderful day
planned at the Hotel Nacional de
Cuba. The children will be watched
over by hotel personnel and the
adults can enjoy the cuisine and
sites around the hotel area. It is
Havana's most famous and luxurious
hotel.I think you will approve. If
you will gather the passengers,
buses will be along shortly to
take them there.
Thank you.
The AC moves through the crowd and filters the information
to all the passengers. News cameras and reporters are
attempting to speak with some of the passengers.No one is
talking. An American news person approaches Jake Sparks.


                       AMER. NEWS
Sir, could you comment on the
unexpected trip to Cuba? Are you
aware of the international
implications of this event today?
Oh, we expected this trip to be
interesting, but we didn't expect
to be fishin' for Cubans.Can you
tell me where a man could get a
good meal around these parts?
The reporter is speechless. Jake walks away.The buses are
waiting in the parking area and the passengers proceed to
board avoiding cameras and press.
Wow, look ahead at that.
View of compound through car window.Matt looking as she
Looks like a fortress. Beautiful
Limo stops at guard gate and proceeds to drive entrance.
Limo swings up to side entrance. Doorman opens limo. Kate
gets out with Matt behind.
Matt and Kate are escorted into the main residence. They
pass through two large mahogany entry doors. The escort
opens another large door leading into a large foyer. They
are seated. The escort leaves the room. Kate and Matt are
You can tell this one to your
Our grandchildren.
A young well dressed man enters the foyer.


                       YOUNG CUBAN M
Please follow me.
Matt and Kate follow him into a dining room.El Presidente is
sitting at the head of the table. He rises and offers his
hand to Kate. He holds her hand and bends to kiss her
hand.He reaches over and shakes Matt's hand.
Please be seated.
Servants enter with silver, dishes and drinks. They eat.
Captain,thank you for your kind
service. The Cuban people thank
you also. You are courageous and
we value your courage .You were
willing to risk yourself and the
passengers to rescue and return
our naval personnel.You could just
as well left the area. As you are
aware our relations with your
government have been strained for
over four decades. This occurrence
today allows our countries to show
the possibility for more friendly
and cooperative dialogue between
Thank you for the comments sir. We
just did what we thought was
You will always be welcome here in
Cuba. The Cuban people love the
American people. Our governments
should both recognize the value of
being good neighbors by your
example today.In that spirit, I
toast you. I understand this drink
is a gift from you. Is that
El Presidente lifts a mason jar with a clear liquid
inside.Kate and Matt join him with a touch of the three


Yes sir. This is the finest of the
spirits. We call it the Hillbilly
El Presidente opens his mouth and blows a soft breath.
Oh yes. I believe you are correct.
This is a fine spirit!
(Laughs)Tell me captain,did you
produce this fine spirit?
Yes sir, it is made from corn.We
normally call it moonshine.
La Luna Brillante!
El Presidente takes another sip.He leans back.
Captain, I have a proposal for you
to consider. Would you be willing
to consider being a trading
partner by selling us corn,rice
and wheat. Under current embargo
restrictions, only limited
agricultural and medical products
can be sold to Cuba from the
United States.The Trade Reform and
Export Enhancement Act of 2000
would allow you to sell us some of
these products and perhaps others.
I can assure you Cuba and possibly
the United States government would
allow this to happen in light of
recent events? My country will
consider you a favored partner in
trade, if you decide to go
I need to think about that one
sir.It sounds like a good idea.
The president takes a long drink of the moonshine.


Of course you will most likely
need a somewhat larger ship
equipped to handle the cargo.I
have many other trading partners
in this part of the world who
would be pleased to taste of the
spirits you offered here
today.Please consider this
proposal and let me know your
decision. I will process the
necessary documents for you when
the time comes.
The president rises from the table.Matt and Kate rise and
shake hands with him. He kisses Kate's hand and looks at
You are most fortunate to have
such a lovely interpreter by your
side.Enjoy your stay here.
Thank you Mr. President
The passengers enter the lobby. They look around.The hotel
is decorated in 1930s vintage design with luxurious
appointments.The guests are seated at a dining hall. The
cuisine is varied.The children eat and are then taken to
play on the beach and around the pool area. Adults wander
the grounds . Others are touring the facilities with a
guide. Mr. and Mrs. Beauregard stroll through the grand
hotel and then onto the rear courtyard. They find a waiter
and are seated outside .
                       JOHN T.
I would give anything to know what
is going on with Kate and Matt
right now.
Why don't you call her dear? I'll
order us a drink.
                       JOHN T.
No. I think it would interrupt
something. We can wait.


The drinks arrive. The Beauregards are looking onto the
beach and beyond. The sky is clear. The beach white.
Children playing. Jake and Nadine are lying on the beach.
                       JOHN T.
Matty that beach is beautiful and
the water delightful. Let's change
and go into the water.
No thank you dear. I can swim
about as well as that silly
looking monkey and you know they
can't swim either.
You reckon the captain's OK.
I say yes. He can handle most
anything that comes his way.
I don't know if he can handle that
pretty young thing. He better hold
on to his ....
Jake Sparks. You leave them two
A para sail passes by close to shore.Nadine spots it.
Hey baby. Looky there. Why don't
you try that? I dare ya. I double
dog dare ya.
Jake gets off the sand and looks at Nadine.
Get that instamatic camera ready.
I'm gone.
Jake walks to the parasail vendor shack.He pays. In a few
minutes the previous customer drops down onto the sand.Jake
straps on the harness. The boat pulls away from shore.The
line tightens and Jake is up.


Who's your daddy now kids!
Nadine,JJ and Jenella look skyward.Nadine snaps off a couple
of shots.
Mama, he's goin' awful high up.
Will he be OK?
Sure he will. Watch him soar like
an eagle. That's my man.
The boat pulls Jake out and up to 500 feet. He looks small.
The boat turns and heads up beach then turns back toward the
Spark's family.The boat gets closer. The boat runs aground
near the family. The boat driver tries to reverse and then
go forward.Jake floats slowly aloft until the rope slackens.
He is above the beach and stops.The parasail begins to
collapse. Jake looks up at the sail.His eyes wide. Suddenly,
the sail collapses and Jake spins downward in a corkscrew.He
hits in three feet of water face first.Nadine and the kids
run toward Jake.They lift him up out of the water.
Baby are you alright. Breathe Jake
Come on daddy. Get up.
They help him up. He gasps for air. He spews water out of
his nose and mouth. Nadine slaps him on the back. The sail
is tangled all around him.
I told you I could do it. Did you
get any good shots .
Oh yea baby. I snapped a good one
just before you hit.
They help him to shore.
Ben takes Jenny for a long beach walk. He collects shells
with her and puts them in a bag.


Are you glad you came on this
cruise now. You seemed so
depressed at the beginning?
You have made it the best cruise
ever.Can you believe all we've
been through and the cruise is not
even over yet?
Hey look. Dolphins.
Jenny points to a pair of dolphins a few yards offshore.
      (looking at Jenny)
Dolphins Huh. Science Magazine had
an article written by a renowned
marine biologist and in it he
theorized that sharks are now
evolved enough to mimic the
swimming patterns and sounds of
dolphins. They know humans love to
swim with dolphins and the theory
goes on to say sharks are now able
to lure humans into the ocean. So,
go ahead. Go in the water if you
believe those are dolphins.
No. Just kidding.
Ben runs down the beach . Jenny is chasing him.
The limo pulls up to the dockside parking area.Matt and Kate
exit.The tour buses arrive. Passengers are carrying gifts
from the Cubans. News reporters catch the arrival and are
waiting.Matt sees Kate's parents.
There they are.
Kate turns to see them and walks away toward them.Matt is
approached by an American news reporter on assignment.


                       AMER.NEWS R
Captain, could I have a word with
Sure.But make it quick. I need to
get everybody aboard and cast off
for St. Thomas.
                       AMER.NEWS R
Do you realize the American public
is watching you and the story that
has developed here?
I haven't really had time to think
about that.
                       AMER.NEWS R
Can you tell us where you and the
young woman went today in the
official limousine? Did you meet
with the president of Cuba?
We had a meeting and were given
permission to leave. The Cuban
people have treated us real nice.
Matt spots Mike in the crowd.
Hey, thank you, but I really need
to go now.
Mike approaches Matt.
Hey boy. Where you been all day?
I'll tell ya later. Let's get
these people aboard and get Bertha
out to sea as soon as possible.
Let's go.
Cameras and reporters follow the passengers and crew to the
gangway. The AC is doing a head count and checking off each
passenger as quickly as he can.Matt and Mike head straight


to the bridge. A courier comes aboard with a large box and
hands it off to the purser.
Compliments from El Presidente to
the captain.
The purser carries the box up to the bridge and hands it off
to the second officer.He sets it on the bridge floor.Frank
tries to open it up . Matt looks at the box.
What's that Frank?
Matt opens the box.There is an envelope on top and the box
is full of the finest Cuban cigars.Matt puts the envelope in
his pocket and hands a cigar to Mike , Frank and the bridge
officers.Matt opens the letter and reads it quickly. He
places it back into his pocket.
Light em up boys.
Bertha is moving back away from Havana Port.The sun is
beginning to set in the west. Skies clear.Seas calm.On deck
passengers wave to Cuban people. Matt and Mike are busy on
the bridge.Frank is looking forward at Havana Port.
Our ETA for the trip to St. Thomas
is approximately 12 hours at 70
knots. We should be there by early
morning at sunrise, if the seas
are calm.
Good news. The GPS monitor is
working properly again. All
systems are doing well. This time
all passengers are accounted for.
Let's get her turned out to sea
and take off.I will notify the
crew to secure the passengers for
the accelleration.Anything else?
You know old friend, we don't need
anything else right now. Look at
that monkey smokin a cigar.


In the main hall passengers are sitting around . Jake is
eating with his family. Music plays in the
background.Passengers line the buffet.John and Matty are
sipping Hillbilly Martinis with an olive. Kate is on the
fore deck enjoying the breeze . She looks at the Cuban
shoreline. Others on deck join her.Bertha turns east and
begins to move faster.
All passengers including the
pretty lady on the fore deck
should move indoors for the
evening. We will be making up time
on the seas tonight and heading
for ST. Thomas. Thank you.
Bertha surges forward and comes up then levels. She is doing
75 knots in a short time. Gone.
And now for an update on the
events in Cuba today. As many of
you are now aware an American
cruise ship rescued Cuban naval
personnel from the wreck of their
burning vessel. CBC reports
sources in Havana have determined
the captain of the SS Bertha was
able to bring the survivors aboard
and deliver them to Havana earlier
today .It is widely speculated
that the Cuban President met with
the captain, Matthew Dobson and
his female interpreter. This
raises the question as to how the
outcome of such a meeting would
impact the already strained
relations with the American
Government. Many senators and
representatives from both sides of
the aisle have lobbied for years
to establish open trade relations
with Cuba after almost 5 decades
of a very strict Trade Embargo.
The actions today may signal a new
effort to re-establish cooperative
trade agreements.


Mike looks at Matt.
Why don't you get some sleep. I
can wake you in a few hours. You
look exhausted.
I think I will look for Kate.Then
I will get some sleep later.
Thanks. Keep her moving.
Matt leaves the bridge and walks down the hallway to the
He enters. Kate exits the opposite elevator and walks to the
bridge. Kate sees Mike.
Hey there. Whatcha doin?
I am looking for Matt. Seen him?
Yes. He just left to find you. I
guess he went downstairs. I am not
Thanks Mike.
I can buzz him for you.
No. Thanks OK. Don't bother. I
will find him.Bye.
Matt walks into the dining hall and looks around for Kate.
He sees John and Matty drinking at a small table. They are
watching people dance.The hall is not crowded. Many
passengers have left for the evening.Matt sits with John and
Why hello captain Matt. Where have
you been. We missed you.


Matty is stoned.
Hi there. Are you having a good
Most certainly dear . Are you in
love with my daughter?
                       JOHN T.
Matty, can't you see the captain
has had a long day. He probably
needs a drink. Would you like to
try some of the martinis we are
enjoying here alone by ourselves?
John is blitzed.
Well, maybe just one. I will be on
duty in a few hours.But yes, I
                       JOHN T.
Well, that is just dandy young
man. Garcon, bring this gentleman
a drink.
I said, are you in love with my
dear daughter? She is in love with
Well Mrs. Beauregard.
                       JOHN T.
Matty you hush up now. This boy is
doing his best to run this ship
properly. Let him be.
That's alright Mr. Beauregard, I
can understand why...
John T. Beauregard, don't you boss
me around.Ole' Boy I will kick
your ass.
Matt stares back and forth at John and Matty.


                       JOHN T.
My dear wife, I will have you know
I will not tolerate your insolence
or whatever the hell that means.
Matt this woman has been my wife
for over 35 years and has never
talked to me like that. At least I
don't remember.Or yes, maybe she
did. Yes. You did Matty. Remember
when we lost Kate at the
fairgrounds in Houston when she
was six years old. You really got
mad that time.
Hey folks, I will have someone
help you two to your cabin if you
want. And for goodness sakes stay
inside tonight. I need to go check
on something.
Matt walks over to the bartender.
Start thinning their drinks and
make sure they get to their
Matt heads for the elevator. The door opens. Kate is
standing there. Matt looks her straight in the eyes.
Our grandchildren?
You said our grandchildren. You
did not say your grandchildren. I
mean you said you would tell our
grandchildren. You did not say I
would tell my grandchildren.
Now I am really confused. Just
what are you talking about?
Oh.never mind. It's too hard to
explain. I am going to go up and
get some sleep.By the way, your


                       MATT (cont'd)
parents are smashed. You should
see about them.
My parents are perfectly capable
of taking care of themselves. So,
when you figure out what you are
talking about let me know.Bye.
Kate walks by Matt toward the main hall. Matt enters the
elevator . The doors close. Kate finds her parents talking
very seriously.
What are you two doing now?
You are in love with that sailor
boy aren't you dear?
Mom, what is going on here? Dad
why is she acting this way?
                       JOHN T.
Don't you worry baby, we were just
about to retire for the evening.
Please Matty let's go to bed.
Yes dear, why did I not think of
that. Good night each and every
Kate goes straight to the elevator and up to Matt's
quarters. She bangs on the door. He answers.She attempts to
speak. He reaches out and pulls her toward him and shuts the
door behind them.
Jenny and Ben are watching TV together. They are lying on
top of the bed fully clothed.Ben looks at the ceiling. Jenny
looks at the ceiling.
Let's play the do ya game.


What in the world is the do ya
It goes like this. You ask me a
question starting with do ya , I
answer yes or no. I ask you a
different question, you answer yes
or no. Simple. But we cannot ask
each other the same question.
Ready. You go first.
Do you fart in bed?
Jenny rolls her eyes at Ben.
Do you pick your nose in public?
No! Do you watch sports on TV all
No. Do you like to keep your house
spotless all the time?
Are you kidding. No.
You can't say anything but yes or
no Jenny.
Do you chew your food with your
mouth open and make funny sounds?
No. Do you like classical music?
Yes. Do you like rock and pop
Yes.Do you snore?


No! Do you breathe heavily and
make sounds when you sleep?
Same question.Can't answer.
OK. Do you like candlelight and
wine and quiet evenings?
Yes. Do you like lying on a soft
rug in front of a fireplace with a
glass of something and ..
That's more than one question. The
answer is yes. Do you like to lie
naked on a soft rug in front of a
lighted fireplace?
What kind of question is that?
Just answer yes or no.
Yes. Do you like asking questions
like this ?
What? Let's get back to simple yes
or no answers please.