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Spades
by Mark Scherer (superbuick69@hotmail.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Miscellaneous   User Review: ****
Based on a true story: A recent high school graduate, who is eager to leave his hometown in the dust, gets the opportunity of a lifetime to take a graduation trip out to Vegas and beyond with his "so called" friend. What he discovers is a world he never hoped to find, and what happens to him will change his life for both the good, and the bad.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



SPADES

FADE IN:

INT. LINDENWOOD HIGH CIVIC AUDITORIUM - DAY
                                                            
The Lindenwood High class of 2007 sits eagerly atop row
after row of basketball bleachers waiting for the fateful
moment when their name is called to accept their long
awaited diplomas.
                                                            
In the audience parents sit, armed with their digital
cameras to catch a glimpse of their son or daughter complete
this momentous occasion.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
Well, here we are. Ready to
graduate. Ready to make our mark
on the world. Most people say
they thought this day would never
come. Not me, I knew it was one
of those inevitable things in
life. Kind of like death.
                                                            
The camera pans down the row that Andy is seated in. We see
alot of bored faces. One boy picks his nose, another girl
ducks low to apply some last minute makeup.

As we progress further down the row we see the purple robe
of a young girl moving frantically while the boy next to her
tilts his head back in obvious enjoyment.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
Some of us have big plans for the
future. College, grad. school,
families, careers. I, I just want
to get the fuck out of here as
fast as possible.
                                                            
A tall athletic looking boy walks across the stage with a
very confident strut and swagger to him. He graciously
accepts his diploma, turns to face the audience, grabs his
balls, makes a "v" with his fingers, and sticks his tongue
in between.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
That's one of the doomed. BRIAN
JOLSTON. He's what we call LFL.
That stands for Linden For Life.
He's content here. He'll never
leave, have the same friends when
            (MORE)

2.

                       ANDY (cont'd)
he's 50, and probably do jackshit.
                                                            
Students continue filing across the stage in monotonous
fashion. Sporatic applause, shouting, and arabic war-like
cries fly from the audience.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
It's pretty sad when you think
about it. The majority of
Lindenwood graduates either never
leave this town, or live here
until well into their 30's.
                                                            
The camera finally stops on ANDY MARKS as he sits
agonizingly waiting to get this all over with. He removes
his cap to wipe some sweat beginning to form in his buzzed
hair. He casually glances at the girl to his left and rolls
his eyes in displeasure.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
I've never been out of this town,
except for gay Niagra Falls family
vacations, but I refuse to be one
of the doomed. That's why I chose
a college that's about as far away
as I could get on my parents
budget.
                                                            
Andy stands as his row is called and begins to head down
towards the stage. Andy is dwarfed by some of his fellow
classmates that surround him and nearly trips over the legs
of Brian Jolston as he walks by.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Watch where the fuck you're going
Marks!
                                                            
Andy grinds his teeth, but says nothing. He continues
plodding ahead with the rest of the cattle.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
To be quite honest, I don't even
know what I'm going to study at
Omaha State. All I know is it's
far away, no one from my school is
going there, and no one from my
school has ever gone there.
                                                            
The PRINCIPAL calls out another name, but we are only able
to read his lips. Andy walks slowly across the stage
casually glancing at the students he is passing.
                                                            

3.

Andy makes eye contact with BRAD TODD who gives him thumbs
up, followed by an "air" drum roll. In the process Brad
accidentally elbows a large black girl next to him who
proceeds to smack him in the back of his head, sending his
cap flying two rows down.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
      (annoyed)
In two weeks that jackass and I
are heading to Las Vegas. Not my
decision. His parents and mine
thought it would be great to send
us out there as a graduation
present. Just as I was getting
ready to sever my ties with Brad
for the summer, and hopefully the
rest of my life.
                                                            
Andy makes his way up the stairs and back to his seat while
his eyes focus on a boy that is slumped over in his chair
asleep with headphones on.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
That's ADAM, my best friend since
2nd grade. He's the reason I know
I'm going to Vegas. A month ago
he got hammered and slept with
Brad's sister and she spilled the
beans about the whole trip. Brad
doesn't know about the sex, or the
secret, and to be quite honest I
wouldn't care if he did. Adam did
his porker of a sister a favor,
which he will never hear the end
of. Moral of the story, avoid
slumpbusters, they don't help.
                                                            
The students are all standing now as they move their tassels
in traditional fashion. Simultaneously they all begin
heaving them in the air. Andy throws his cap last and
watches it as it tumbles downwards.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
Had I known what a disaster this
Vegas trip would be I probably
wouldn't have gone. But at the
same time, the events that would
eventually occurr would definitely
change me for the good...
                                                            
The tip of the graduation cap catches Andy square in eye as
he lurches over in obvious pain.
                                                            

4.

                       ANDY
Motherfucker!
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
      (sighing)
and the bad.
                                                            
 
EXT. BRAD'S HOUSE - DAY
                                                            
Miscellaneous guests walk up the flowered walkway to Brad's
house bearing cards and gifts of assorted sizes. The sign
in the front yard indicates that this is "Brad Todd's
Graduation Party Extravaganza."
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Brad's family crams into the tiny living room as best they
can. Folding chairs and tables displaying Brad's
accomplishments and pictures don't aid in creating anymore
space.
                                                            
A group of uncles sit around a table playing Euchre and
drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon. Other friends and relatives
struggle to keep their paper plates stable on their laps.
                                                            
Amongst all this chaos Brad sits opening presents and
reading the cards that accompany them. He is flanked by his
MOM and DAD.

Mom wipes tears from her eyes, but still has time to stop
and smack a small child that is grabbing at Brad's gifts.
His dad struggles to stand and keep his eyes open, obviously
dipping a bit to much into the alcohol he purchased for this
party.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (reading aloud)
Dear Brad, we are so proud of all
that you have accomplished and
eagerly await the great things you
will do in your life. Good luck
with everything and know that we
love you and will always be there
for you. Love, GRANDMA and
GRANDPA.
                                                            
Brad quickly scans the room looking for his grandparents.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Thanks Grandma, Thanks Grandpa.
                                                            

5.

                       BRAD'S GRANDMA
      (attempting to
       stand)
You're so welcome sweetie.
                                                            
As she stands her plate of lasagna falls to the floor.
                                                            
                       BRAD'S MOM (OS)
      (yelling)
Dammit Mom we can't take you
anywhere! Clean that shit up
before it stains!
                                                            
                       BRAD'S DAD
      (slurring and
       staggering)
Yeah, who invited you anyway!
                                                            
KITCHEN
                                                            
Andy sits around a cluttered kitchen table with KYLE MASLOW
and JEFF JANUARY.

Kyle is a close friend of Andy's and an absolute lady killer
with his mesmorizing smile and well groomed appearance.

Jeff is nearly 300 pounds with coke bottle glasses and an
acne problem. Definitely the odd man out as far as
appearance goes.
                                                            
The three boys have obviously been listening to, and
observing, the banter coming from the living room. They
chuckle under their breaths and secretly pass a beer around
the table.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (sarcastically)
Charming.
                                                            
                       KYLE
Who sits and reads every card
outloud? It's cute I guess when
your 6 and can barely read, but
what the fuck? This is making me
nautious.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Coudn't agree more.
                                                            
                       JEFF
      (swigging a beer)
You gotta spend two weeks with
this chode. God help you.
                                                            

6.

                       ANDY
      (rolling his eyes)
Don't remind me.
                                                            
                       BRAD'S MOM (OS)
I told you to get your grubby
little hands off his gifts. Your
getting peanut butter all over the
place!
                                                            
                       BRAD'S DAD (OS)
      (still slurring)
Yeah you little bastard! Someone
shoulda jacked you off in the
bushes.
                                                            
The boys exchange awkward looks at each other around the
table.
                                                            
                       JEFF
Isn't that the same things he said
to Brad on his 18th birthday?
                                                            
                       KYLE
Yep. It was funny as shit then,
but Mr. Todd's gotta get some new
material.
                                                            
Andy reaches behind him in the fridge and pulls out another
beer, cracks it, and takes a swig.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (disgusted)
PBR. Fuckin hillbillies.
                                                            
                       KYLE
      (accepting the
       beer from Andy)
So what's the gameplan when you
guys get out there?
                                                            
                       ANDY
As far as I gather from Adam we're
spending a week in Vegas, then
Brad's white trash grandpa is
taking us to Lake Havesu and LA
for 4 days or so, and then we
finish with a day or two again in
Vegas.
                                                            
                       JEFF
You know, aside from being stuck
with cock smoker, this could be a
pretty bad ass trip. Lot more fun
            (MORE)

7.

                       JEFF (cont'd)
then we'll be having around here.
                                                            
                       KYLE
Just sucks you aren't 18 yet. Not
much for 17 year olds to do out
there I figure, unless you borrow
Brad's id.
                                                            
Andy throws a piece of bread at Kyle in a half joking
manner.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Just kill yourself right now if
you're going to say that I look
like Brad. I'm fuckin sick of
hearin that shit.
                                                            
                       KYLE
My bad bro. My bad. When's Adam
gettin here.
                                                            
                       ANDY
He stopped at Sean's party for a
bit.
                                                            
                       JEFF
Awwww shit. You know he's gonna
be baked or trippin balls when he
shows up. That oughtta get this
party jumpin.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Van Halen, Kriss Kross, and House
of Pain couldn't even get this
party jumpin.
                                                            
Kyle shoots Andy an odd look and tosses the bread back at
him.
                                                            
                       KYLE
That was the gayest thing I think
I've ever heard you say.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (finishing the
       beer)
Thanks for sharing dick.
                                                            
                       BRAD'S MOM (OS)
Boys could you come in here for a
minute? We've got a big surprise
to announce.
                                                            

8.

                       ANDY
      (standing)
Well, let me get this shit over
with.
                                                            
                       JEFF
Better take a shot before you head
out there.
                                                            
                       ANDY
I'd rather be shot than take one
right now.
                                                            
Andy heads for the door, scans the living room, and abruptly
turns back around.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Alright, pass over the bottle.
                                                            
LIVING ROOM
                                                            
The friends and relatives are all silent now in anticipation
of this big surprise. They quickly gobble down their last
bites of undercooked food and break from their heated card
games.
                                                            
                       BRAD'S MOM
Andy, would you please join Brad
and I up here for a minute?
                                                            
                       ANDY
I'm cool where I'm at.
                                                            
                       BRAD'S MOM
      (sighing)
Jasmine, would you please get him
for me?
                                                            
                       JASMINE (OS)
Gladly.
                                                            
JASMINE'S 200 pound body pushes through the guests towards
Andy with a sinister, sexual look on her freckled face. Andy
looks terrified as she approaches.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
Junior year I spent the night at
Brad's and this thing crept into
the room and started making out
with me. Being succeptable to
night terrors as I am, I naturally
felt like I was being attacked by
a wildabeast. Under such
dangerous conditions I did the
            (MORE)

9.

                       ANDY (cont'd)
only thing I could do to
survive...
                                                            
Jasmine takes Andy's arm and leads him to where Brad and his
mom await.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
...I kicked, bit, punched and
scratched until the wildabitch let
me go. Brad's mom wasn't too
pleased cause Jasmine got a black
eye out of it, but his dad thought
it was funny and well deserved.
                                                            
Brad's mom places her flabby arms around the two boys. Brad
smiles and starts getting choked up, Andy grimaces while
Kyle and Jeff make faces and obscene gestures at him. Brad's
dad sleeps in a chair with a lit cigarette.
                                                            
                       BRAD'S MOM
Now for those of you who don't
know, this is Andy.
                                                            
                       GUESTS
      (in unison)
Hi Andy!
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (reluctantly)
Hi.
                                                            
                       JEFF
      (tapping Kyle)
Surprise, surprise. Same greeting
they give in AA. Coincidence? I
think not.
                                                            
                       BRAD'S MOM
Anyways, Andy and Brad have been
friends since freshman year.
They've spent alot of time
together over the years, and in a
way he's kind of been like a
second son to us.
                                                            
                       BRAD'S DAD
      (coming to)
Who?
                                                            
                       BRAD'S MOM
Shut up Chuck!
                                                            

10.

Andy looks around with a "help me" expression on his face,
but is unable to find many sympathetic faces.
                                                            
                       BRAD'S MOM
Well, Andy's parents and us
thought that a great way to
culminate their friendship, and
celebrate their graduation, would
be to send these boys to stay with
Brad's uncle in...
                                                            
Before she can finish the front door swings open and in
flies Adam, clad in his finest Hawaiian shirt and 1980's
Miami Vice wanna be sunglasses.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Viva Las Vegas people!
                                                            
Adam is drunk, high, or both as he staggers up to Brad and
Andy. Along the way he hugs random strangers, who coil back
in disgust.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (rapidly and out
       of breath)
Sorry I'm late but I had to pick
up some gifts for you boys before
your trip.
                                                            
Adam begins riffling through a plastic Wal Mart bag while
Brad's mom stands agast.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (passing gifts to
       Andy)
These are for you dude. AC/DC
money clip for after you rake it
in at the roulette wheel. Maverick
shades to hide your hideous poker
face. Couple of stoagies for,
well, whatever the occasion. And,
from my personal stash...
                                                            
Adam reaches deep to the bottom of the bag.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Oh shit Adam not here.
                                                            
                       ADAM
...one of my finest Hawaiian
shirts to help you blend in and
chill out there. You can keep it,
you know I've got enough.
                                                            

11.

                       ANDY
      (puzzled)
Thanks dude, but, we're going to
Vegas, not the South Pacific.
                                                            
                       ADAM
I know, but to survive in the
desert you gotta keep it tropical.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (accepting his
       gifts)
Thanks chief. I'll put em' to
good use.
                                                            
                       ADAM
I'm sure you will. I'm sure you
will.
                                                            
Adam appears as if he's going to black out. He sways back
and forth with his eyes closed as the guests swoon with him.
Abruptly he snaps to.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Moving on to big bad Brad.
                                                            
Brad's mom violently grabs Adam's bag and throws it across
the room striking Brad's dad in the face. The assault
startles him from his drunken slumber.
                                                            
                       BRAD'S DAD
Don't fuck with me Lucifer!
                                                            
The guests stare not knowing exactly where that came from.
The focus goes back onto Brad's mom.
                                                            
                       BRAD'S MOM
Adam, how the fuck did you know
the boys were going to Vegas?
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (matter of factly)
Jazzy told me.
                                                            
                       JASMINE
Adam you piece of shit!
                                                            
She lunges for Adam but is grabbed and put into a headlock
by Brad's mom.
                                                            
                       BRAD'S MOM
You stupid bitch how could you
tell! I can never trust you!
                                                            

12.

                       JASMINE
      (painfully)
I'm sorry mom. Owwwww, stop
pulling my hair god dammit!
                                                            
Jasmine breaks free from the headlock and shoves her mom
into the cake and present table. Under the pressure of the
weight the table collapses sending all of its contents on
the floor.
                                                            
Commotion and pandamonium break out among the guests and
wrestling family members.

Oblivious to this all Brad hops and jumps around the room
like a giddy school girl.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (hugging Jeff)
Vegas! Vegas! This is so
awesome!
                                                            
                       JEFF
      (annoyed)
Whoopee, we're all happy for you.
                                                            
                       KYLE
      (pushing Brad away)
Mideget don't even think about
touching me.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Kiss my ass Kyle.
                                                            
Andy attempts to hide in the corner, disgusted by what he
sees.

Brad's mom and Jasmine continue fighting, aunts and uncles
argue with each other at the top of their lungs, young boys
and girls shove mouthfuls of cake off the floor near the
collapsed table.

Brad's dad reaches over and grabs Andy's arm. He is only
able to open one eye.
                                                            
                       BRAD'S DAD
      (slurring)
You got any gum?
                                                            
                       ANDY
No.
                                                            
Andy goes to walk away, but Brad's dad does not allow this.
                                                            

13.

                       BRAD'S DAD
Listen, watch out for my boy out
there, and yourself. It's a whole
different world out there that you
guys aren't used to. Be careful
and keep your heads on straight.
                                                            
Andy looks surprised by this sobering revelation.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Thanks Mr. Todd. We will.
                                                            
                       BRAD'S DAD
I know you will Jake.
                                                            
Andy looks quizzingly at Brad's dad as he fades back off to
sleep. From behind Brad leaps on Andy's back.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Yeah baby! The posse heads out
west!
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (trying to muster
       enthusiasm)
You know it man. We're taking
Vegas by storm!
                                                            
Brad gets tapped on the back and turns around to see Adam,
pale and sweating.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (struggling to
       speak)
Brad, I'm annihilated
      (pausing to gain
       composure)
probably gonna puke. Mind if I
crash in your room for a while?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Uhhh.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (continuing)
Thanks man.
      (turning around on
       the stairs)
Oh, by the way, I fucked your
sister. Just had to get it off my
chest since I got off on hers.
      (gagging)
Yep, that's the vomit I was
            (MORE)

14.

                       ADAM (cont'd)
speaking of.
                                                            
The room has gone silent and mouths are hung wide at what
has just been said.

In unison Brad's family begins yelling various expletives at
Adam and start chasing him up the stairs. Brad's mom
continues whaling on Jasmine.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (shaking his head)
Fuckin dumbass.
                                                            
 
INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT
                                                            
2 WEEKS LATER
                                                            
JOHN MAKILVANE kneels on the floor with the tube of a beer
bong in his mouth.

2 TEENS stand around it pouring two beers a piece into the
funnel. John doesn't spill a drop, gag, or react adversly
to the amount of alcohol he is consuming.
                                                            
He stands and lets out a burp that is almost as massive as
his physique. He flexes and shows off his newest tatoo of a
dragon tearing through his enormous biceps.
                                                            
John takes his usual seat by the stereo, puts a large chew
in his protruding lip, and searches for that right song to
match his mood.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
This is John's basement. John is
a psycho, but a good guy if he's
on your side. Adam and I have
spent the better part of two years
in this basement. Tomorrow I
leave for Vegas. In a week, Adam
leaves for culinary school in
Pittsburgh. This will be our last
time hanging down here for a long
time.
                                                            
John's basement is small, but like home for alot of kids.
There's good tunes, video games, hash pipes and hookas
always packed, some food, and occasionally girls.
                                                            

15.

Tonight two guys play Guitar Hero, two CHICKS text their
friends on the couch, John throws some GWAR on the cd
player, and Adam and Andy pass a flask and share some laughs
playing a ridiculous word association game.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Luke Skywalker.
                                                            
                       ADAM
The sky's the limit.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (singing)
Take it, to the limit.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Let me take you home tonight.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Tonight I'm gonna rock you.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (singing)
Tonight, tonight.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (singing horribly)
Tonight's the night. It's gonna
be alright.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (spitting out
       liquor)
Rod Stewart! You fag!
                                                            
                       ANDY
What? It fits.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Yeah, perfect fit. Like Rod's rod
into you.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (extending his
       middle finger)
Sit and spin my man. Sit and
spin.
                                                            
John walks over to the boys and cracks each of them over the
head with a fat, permanent marker.
                                                            

16.

                       JOHN
Before you fags leave this town to
go fulfill your homo-erotic dreams
you gotta sign the wall one last
time.
                                                            
                       ANDY
John, I'll be back in two weeks,
and its not like we wont visit on
breaks from school.
                                                            
                       JOHN
I know but I gotta fill the void
with some new misfits, so there
might not be room for you when you
return.
                                                            
Andy, Adam and John stare at each other intently with fear
and anger in their eyes. Nobody wants to lose their
membership to party central.
                                                            
                       JOHN
      (bursting out
       laughing)
I'm just playin fucknuts. Just
sign so in case your plane
crashes, or you slash your wrists
with a butter knife, that I at
least have one more piece of
evidence that you bastards graced
my humble comode.
                                                            
Another TEEN comes running down the stairs.
                                                            
                       TEEN
John, I was comin up the street
and I saw a couple dudes stealin
some potted plants off your front
porch.
                                                            
                       JOHN
      (pulling his shirt
       off)
Not the geraniums!
                                                            
                       TEEN
How the fuck should I know?
                                                            
                       JOHN
No time for talk.
      (downing two shots)
They're fuckin dead.
                                                            

17.

John and the teen tear up the stairs on a mission. Andy
pulls out his cell and begins to dial. Adam walks up and
puts his arm around him.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Let's roll one on the deck so we
can get the fuck out of this
assbackwards flower shop.
                                                            
                       ANDY
That's cool. Let me just call AMY
real fast to see if she's comin to
the airport tomorrow.
                                                            
 
INT. AMY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Amy and ROB lie in bed together. Amy is under sheets, but
is obviously naked. Rob lays with his arms under his head
grinning at his sexual prowess. The phone startles them and
Rob picks up.
                                                            
                       ROB
Hello.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Who the fuck is this?
                                                            
                       ROB
What motherfucker? You know who
the fuck this is. Don't be axin
me questions like yo don't know
son. I'll crack ya fuckin
skull...
                                                            
Amy grabs the phone from Rob who continues his rant and also
begins punching furiously at the air.

Andy growls and cracks open the nearst beer he can find.
                                                            
                       AMY
Hello.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Why in the fuck is butthead
answering your god damn phone.
                                                            
                       AMY
I was outta the room and he
happened to answer, whattya want
me to do about it?
                                                            

18.

Andy throws the full beer across the room and shatters a
mirror.

In Amy's room, Rod stands behind her and play with her long
brown hair.
                                                            
                       ANDY
The simple fact that that fuckhead
is over there is...
      (pausing and
       grumbling)
Nevermind. Flight leaves at 5
tomorrow you comin?
                                                            
                       AMY
Probably not. I gotta babysit.
                                                            
                       ANDY
You've known about this for two
weeks and you couldn't free up
that time?
                                                            
                       AMY
Look I gotta make money this
summer if I'm gonna buy a car. Now
you know that was my plan.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Fine, whatever. I don't know
where this leaves us, but I guess
we'll pick it up when I come back.
                                                            
While he talks, Amy and Rob share a very upclose and wet
tongue kiss.
                                                            
                       AMY
Guess so.
                                                            
                       ANDY
I love you.
                                                            
                       ROB
I love you too fag.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Get the fuck off the...
                                                            
Andy closes his phone the second he hears the dial tone. He
lights up a cigarette and makes his way slowly up the
stairs.
                                                            

19.

                       ANDY (OS)
I know she's fuckin cheatin on me,
and I know I'm a jackass for
stickin with her, but there's
always that part of me that thinks
this is the best that I can do.
                                                            
 
EXT. JOHN'S DECK - NIGHT
                                                            
Andy and Adam sit in deck chairs as Adam meticulously rolls
a joint. He sparks it, takes a long drag, and coughs
violently spewing the smoke into the night air.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (clearing his
       throat)
How many times have I told you.
You and I are destined for greater
things than what we've been
dealt. This...
      (pointing around)
is just a pit stop to our
destinations. All the scumbags in
this town are just roadkill we
must avoid so we aren't thrown
from the path.
      (passing the joint)
You and I are destined for much,
much more. Especially you.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Adam.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Que?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Don't get all deep and shit on me.
You're freakin me out.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Sorry man, I'm just a little baked
and hammered.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (taking a big hit)
I just wish it was like me, you
and Jeff or Kyle headin out there.
Not Brad. I don't think I can
stand his ass that long.
                                                            

20.

                       ADAM
Hey, you and I have known Brad
since what, freshman year? And
aside from being a bit of a
douche, he's not that bad of a
guy.
                                                            
                       ANDY
I know, I know.
                                                            
                       ADAM
But in no way should your
enjoyment on this trip be
contingent upon him. Don't let
him stand in your way of having a
good time. For christ sakes your
gonna be in Vegas and LA. Your
gonna meet chicks, gamble, eat
some good food and get hammered
the whole time. I could be doing
that with fuckin Hitler and be
cool with it.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (looking into the
       night)
Just sucks I'm gonna miss your
going away party.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Well, more reason to come visit
this summer and make up for it.
      (standing and
       stretching)
Now whattya say we get inside and
sign this fuckin wall before John
nails our ass to it.
                                                            
 
INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT
                                                            
Andy and Adam stare at a white brick wall that has been
signed at least once by nearly everyone who has ever partyed
in John's basement. Some people just singed their names,
others threw up pieces of advice and quotes from movies.
                                                            
Adam walks to the wall and begins scribbling while Andy puts
his smoke out in one of the beer cans. Adam returns next to
Andy with a hint of satisfaction in his eyes.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (reading aloud)
"I wanna die before I get old."
      (thinking about it)
            (MORE)

21.

                       ANDY (cont'd)
Well, you know I'm not a big Who
fan, but that is a hell of a
quote.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Thank you sir.
                                                            
Andy approaches the wall to add his insight. Almost
immediately Adam begins laughing hysterically outloud even
before Andy has finished writing.
                                                            
                       ANDY
You alright there pal?
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (reading aloud and
       laughing)
"I wont beat my sperm when they're
children, but I will beat off."
Awww man, that is pure poetry.
Where do you come up with that
shit.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Drunken wisdom my good man. And a
firm love of jacking off.
                                                            
                       ADAM
I'm gonna miss ya man.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Tell me about it.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Well it all started in 2nd grade
when we first met, and you hit me
in the eye with an eraser from
your slingshot. And then in 3rd
grade...
                                                            
Andy jokingly pushes Adam into a pyramid of beer cans.
                                                            
                       ANDY
You're an ass.
      (helping him up)
Let's roll another.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Now that's the first smart thing
I've heard you say all night.
                                                            
                                         CAMERA PANS OUT
                                                            
 

22.

EXT. JOHN HOPKINS AIRPORT - DAY
                                                            
Andy and his father pull luggage out of the trunk in front
of the terminal. Off to the side Andy's mom smokes and
wipes as tear from her eye. Andy sets down his suitcase.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Mom, what's wrong?
                                                            
                       ANDY'S MOM
      (quiverring voice)
My boy. My baby boy.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (under his breath)
Christ almighty.
                                                            
                       ANDY'S MOM
Get over here and give your mother
a hug.
                                                            
Andy rolls his eyes, but his dad nods and encourages him to
join his mother whose makeup is now cascading down her face.
                                                            
                       ANDY'S MOM
      (drawing Andy
       close)
How lucky you will be to see both
the Atlantic and Pacific in your
lifetime.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Yeah, it's pretty tight I guess.
                                                            
                       ANDY'S MOM
You take lots of pictures and call
everyday. Don't lose too much
money if you gamble.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (hesitantly)
Sure thing Mom. Keep in mind I'm
only 17 and probably wont get the
opportunity to.
                                                            
Andy's mom squeezes tighter. Andy is nearly suffocating as
he looks around frantically for something to break up this
excruciating moment.
                                                            
                       ANDY'S DAD
Pat, let em' go before you smother
him to death.
                                                            

23.

Andy's mom releases her kung fu grip and Andy fixes his
bunched up clothes. He walks slowly over to his father with
hand extended. The two shake. Andy's dad privately hands
over some money.
                                                            
                       ANDY'S DAD
Here's a few extra bucks in case
you get in a pinch. I know how
quickly money can vanish when
you're on a trip with friends.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (unsure tone)
Yeah, friends.
                                                            
Andy's dad draws him in closer so that his mother can't
overhear their conversation.
                                                            
                       ANDY'S DAD
Just do me a favor. Watch out for
prostitutes. They're as abundant
as squirrels out there and they
will find you and try to get your
money, and your nuts, if you know
what I mean.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (laughing)
I gotcha Dad.
                                                            
The two hug as a tan station wagon rolls slowly by. Brad
leans out the window as the car comes to a stop.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Hand em' over Mr. Marks. He
belongs to the West now.
                                                            
                       ANDY'S DAD
Sure thing Brad.
      (under his breath)
Jackass.
                                                            
Andy and his father share an amusing smirk as they part
ways.
                                                            
The two boys wave goodbye as they walk through the sliding
glass doors.
                                                            
                       BRAD'S DAD
      (yelling)
Bang some hookers while you're out
there fellas.
                                                            

24.

                       ANDY'S DAD
You're an asshole Chuck.
                                                            
 
INT. AIRPORT TERMINAL - DAY
                                                            
Andy and Brad stroll the walkway to their gate.

Stewardesses walk by and Brad whistles and stares like a
creepy voyeur. Andy keeps his head straight and ingnores his
annoying counterpart.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (singing)
Pussy, pussy, pussy. Beer, beer,
beer. Cash money baby!
                                                            
Brad continues this song over and over. Andy becomes
increasingly agitated as people begin to notice this little
escapade.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Brad, shut the fuck up!
                                                            
                       BRAD
Sorry dude, I'm just so pumped. I
wanna bang a Vegas chick, an LA
chick, I wanna drink a cold one on
my grandpa's boat, I wanna hit the
slots, I wanna...
                                                            
                       ANDY
Dude, we haven't even gotten on
the plane yet. Why don't you just
bottle up that energy and save it
for when we need it.
                                                            
                       BRAD
You're right man. I'll cool off a
bit.
      (taking a deep
       breath)
I'm straight. I'm straight.
                                                            
The two continue on their way. Andy stops at a stand to by
a Rolling Stone with Gwen Stefani on the cover.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (admiringly)
God damn! I swear she just keeps
getting hotter.
                                                            

25.

                       BRAD
Speaking of girls, where was Amy
at? You two fightin again?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Naw dude, she had to babysit.
She's known for two weeks when we
were leavin and she made no effort
to see me off.
                                                            
                       BRAD
See us off. Don't forget I hooked
up with her first.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (mockingly)
Sorry, see US off.
      (continuing)
Anyways, I called last night and
that fuckin Rob guy answered.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Are you serious?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Yeah, and he fuckin got lippy with
me, and I'm thinkin, I don't even
care what you're sayin to me, but
what the fuck are you doin at
Amy's house at one in the morning?
                                                            
                       BRAD
We should just beat his ass like
I've been saying.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Brad, he's a fuckin wigger. He's
got dozens of wigger cronies.
We'll beat his ass, they're little
gang will ambush me someday, and
I'll end up in the hospital. I
don't need that much aggrevation
over some bitch that I'm gonna
break it off with at the end of
summer anyway.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Well, more reason you gotta get
laid in Vegas, or LA, or the lake,
or wherever.
                                                            

26.

                       ANDY
Oh I'll get laid, but it wont be a
revenge fuck. It'll be strictly
pleasure, not business.
                                                            
The two press on. Brad turns to whistle at another
stewardess and walks directly into a display of postcards.
                                                            
 
INT. GATE 18 A - DAY
                                                            
Andy sits with his eyes closed listening to his I-POD. Brad
impatiently waits. He fiddles his thumbs, paces around and
makes comments about the wait to other passengers who really
don't care.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (opening his eyes)
Brad, would you please sit down?
                                                            
                       BRAD
No, this is bullshit. We shoulda
started boarding like 15 minutes
ago. What the fuck?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Relax. We'll get on as soon as
they're ready.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Or whenever our pilot finishes his
drink at the bar.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (jokingly)
That too.
                                                            
An older COUPLE overhears what Brad just said. The LADY
leaves her seat and finds the nearest SECURITY GUARD. They
converse and she points in Andy and Brad's general
direction.
                                                            
Andy is still listening to his tunes when the security guard
taps him and Brad on the shoulder.
                                                            
                       SECURITY GUARD
Gentleman. Would you come with me
please? We need to have a word.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Whoa buddy, we've got a plane to
catch.
                                                            

27.

The security guard glares at Brad coldly.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Brad, let's just do what the man
says.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Fine, fine, fine. But if I miss
my flight I'm gonna flip.
                                                            
The security guard leads the two boys away.
                                                            
 
INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY
                                                            
The interrogation room is small and stuffy. White walls, no
windows or mirrors, a rickety folding table and an old
phone.
                                                            
Andy is slumped over the table with his head in his arms.
Brad sits quietly, for a change.
                                                            
In walks JAMES YATES. He's a short, stocky black man in his
late 30's. His eyes are dead serious and agitation riddles
his face.
                                                            
                       YATES
Boys, I'm James Yates with the
FAA. I've got a couple questions
for you if you don't mind?
                                                            
The boys show no objection. Yates takes out a small notepad
and a pen. He takes a seat directly across from Andy and
Brad, never once looking away from them.
                                                            
                       YATES
Can you tell me where and around
what time you saw the pilot of
your plane consuming alcoholic
beverages?
                                                            
The boys sit, confused by the question.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Come again?
                                                            
                       YATES
Where and around what time did you
see your pilot, Mr. Hatch,
drinking alcohol.
                                                            
                       BRAD
We didn't.
                                                            

28.

                       YATES
Oh you didn't. Then why did
another passenger overhear you
making such a statement.
                                                            
The two boys look even more confused than ever. Finally,
Brad understands what Yates is talking about.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Oh, sir, I was just kidding when I
said that. I was just sick of
waiting and it just kind of came
out.
                                                            
                       YATES
      (throwing down
       notepad)
You were sick of waiting.
      (pausing)
How do you think the hundred other
people feel now that you've
delayed their flight?
                                                            
                       ANDY
How did WE delay their flight?
                                                            
                       YATES
      (pointing at Brad)
Your idiot friend made an
accusation. That accusation was
overheard by another passenger.
The condition of one of our pilots
was questioned so we located him,
interrogated him, and administered
a blood test. Know what we found?
                                                            
                       BRAD
He was tanked and we just diverted
a major airline catastrophe.
                                                            
Yates places his giant hands on the table and gets right in
Brad's face.
                                                            
                       YATES
Not a fuckin thing. Mr. Hatch
hasn't had a drink in years.
                                                            
Brad leans back in his chair intimidated.
                                                            

29.

                       YATES
Now he wants a piece of you two,
and I'm sure the rest of the crew
and passengers would like a moment
alone with both of you as well.
                                                            
                       ANDY
I didn't even do anything.
                                                            
                       YATES
      (still glaring at
       Brad)
Guilt by association. You
surround yourself with assholes,
you get treated accordingly.
                                                            
Brad gulps and his hands shake. A bead of sweat rolls down
his terrified face. Andy rubs his eyes and sighs.
                                                            
                       ANDY
So what now?
                                                            
                       YATES
I'll tell you what now. I should
send you boys home to mama and not
let you fly at all.
      (folding his arms)
But I was young and stupid once
like you.
                                                            
Brad smiles.
                                                            
                       YATES
Not that stupid.
                                                            
Brad's smile fades.
                                                            
                       YATES
You've missed your flight, but
there's another in 6 hours. I'll
let you two on it, but the crew
will be under my strict orders to
watch you carefully. If you fuck
around, even in the slightest bit,
you will wish you had never met
me. Understand?
                                                            
The boys agree in unison and sluggishly make their way out
of the room.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I better call my uncle and tell
him we'll be late.
                                                            
 

30.

INT. AIRPLANE - NIGHT
                                                            
Andy and Brad are crammed into their row as they struggle to
cut their "delicious" airline food. Andy gets increasingly
frustrated.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (throwing plastic
       silverware down)
Fuck it!
                                                            
One of the stewardesses points a finger at Andy and shakes
it from side to side. Andy tries to regain his composure.

Brad eyes the uneaten food like a vulture.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Gonna eat that?
                                                            
Andy tosses the food onto Brad's tray. Brad begins to chow
down and starts rambling with food stuffed in his mouth.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
Well, this trips started out just
swell. Even after all the shit
that's happened this bastard wont
shut up. Maybe Yates was right.
Maybe he should have sent us home
to mama. At least she would have
kept me safe and sheltered from
the rude awakening that was
coming.
                                                            
 
INT. VEGAS AIRPORT - NIGHT
                                                            
The boys head down the walkway, exhausted from their flight
and the recent incidents that have happened.
                                                            
ANDY'S POV - AIRPORT

Walking into the airport it's almost as if Andy has entered
a casino. Crowds of people huddle around slot machines,
resounding cheers go up all around, airport bars are packed
with patrons, Viva Las Vegas can be heard in the background,
and beautiful women are everywhere.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Holy shit, it's like a fucking
casino in here.
                                                            
                       ANDY
No kidding.
                                                            

31.

                       BRAD
      (pointing)
There's my uncle.
                                                            
UNCLE TERRY sit reading the Wall Street Journal. Seeing the
boys he puts his paper down and approaches. Terry is in his
late 30's, tall, with almost bronze skin from too much time
in the tanning booth.
                                                            
                       TERRY
      (hugging Brad)
Bradley how we doin?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Doin fine Uncle T.
                                                            
                       TERRY
      (smacking Brad in
       the head)
Are you that fuckin stupid to pull
that shit in an airport. Even
before 9/11 you would've got
nailed for that. What the fuck's
the matter with you.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Gotta plead stupidity on that one.
      (placing his arm
       around Andy)
This is my friend Andy, Andy this
is my Uncle T.
                                                            
                       TERRY
      (shaking hands)
You can just call me Terry.
      (folding arms)
So, you're only 17. That kind of
fucks up some of my plans.
Certainly will limit some of the
tittie bars and casino's we go to.
Gonna have to show you the pg-13
version of Vegas.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (reluctantly)
Nice to meet you to.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Doesn't mean we can't get you
drunk and laid, as long as you
don't mind statutory rape youngin?
                                                            

32.

Andy forces a smile and a chuckle.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Alright fags, get your luggage and
meet me in the parking garage.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Can't you help us with some of it?
                                                            
                       TERRY
If you were on time, maybe? But
with that shit you pulled I think
you guys have earned yourselves a
little bell boy duty?
                                                            
                       BRAD
You're probably right.
                                                            
                       TERRY
I know I am.
                                                            
Terry's attention strays to a couple of young girls that
walk by.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Make it snappy fellas.
                                                            
Terry strolls after the girls and places his arms on their
shoulders. He whispers something in their ears and they
share a laugh as they walk out of sight.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Quite a character.
                                                            
                       BRAD
He most certainly is. This is
gonna be some trip.
                                                            
 
EXT. VEGAS STRIP - NIGHT
                                                            
Terry's jeep speeds down the strip, weaving in and out of
traffic. Brad hollers out the passenger seat, Andy holds on
in the back for dear life.
                                                            

33.

INSIDE JEEP
                                                            
                       TERRY
      (pointing out
       landmarks)
Over there's Caesars Palace and
the Belagio's just beyond it.
That's where I had a threesome
with some hookers after a Billy
Joel concert. Over there...
                                                            
Terry's voice fades out as his jeep presses on. Andy and
Brad take in the sights like kids in a candy shop.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (bursting with
       excitement)
Alright I'm ready, I'm ready.
What's first. Caesar's, titties,
rollin the strip for a few hours?
                                                            
                       TERRY
First my neurotic nephew is a big
fuck you. I had a nice first
night planned for us, but since
you guys were late I had to
scratch most of it and save it for
another day.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Shit, I'm sorry T. What did you
have planned?
                                                            
                       TERRY
Dinner at a nice restaurant, a
casino or two, a ride on the
Stratosphere roller coaster. But
now we're gonna head to my
apartment cause I gotta meet some
business associates for a drink so
you guys will be on your own for a
while tonight. Miracle wont be
home for another day or two so
your introduction will just have
to wait.
                                                            
                       BRAD
So we're just gonna sit around
your apartment all night doin
nothin.
                                                            

34.

                       TERRY
Have no fear, I didn't say all my
plans were ruined for tonight. I
got a little somethin lined up for
the two of you, but first you guys
have a meeting with Mr. Cuervo.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (struggling to
       hear)
Who?
                                                            
 
INT. TERRY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
                                                            
The apartment is small, but very nice. Beautiful artwork
adorns the walls, a fully stocked bar sits in the corner,
plasma tv,dartboard, poker table, and a deck with a spacious
view.
                                                            
Slam! Terry slams 6 shot glasses down on the bar.
                                                            
                       TERRY
It's tradition that whenever I
have guests from out of town I
have them do 3 shots of Cuervo a
piece to get the night rollin.
Since you guys were late, you'll
be doin 3 double shots.
      (pouring the shots)
Drink up fuckers.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (eyeing the shots)
I'm not a big tequilla fan.
                                                            
                       TERRY
      (swigging from the
       bottle)
You will be when I get down with
you. Down the hatch boys.
                                                            
Andy downs his three shots quickly. He reacts after each
one and lets out several huge coughs, but otherwise survives
the ordeal.
                                                            
                       TERRY
That a boy. Now you Bradley.
                                                            
Brad downs the first one, gets halfway through the second
and spits it out all over the bar.
                                                            

35.

                       TERRY
What a shame? My nephew can't
handle his liquor. Your dad would
be disappointed. Now you're
fucked.
                                                            
                       BRAD
What do you mean?
                                                            
Terry pulls out a bottle of Everclear and pours a shot.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Anybody who commits a party foul
in my apartment must pay the
penalty. The penalty is a shot of
Everclear. Ever had it before?
                                                            
Brad shakes his head no.
                                                            
                       TERRY
      (laughing)
Well you're in for a treat. You
can run a car on enough of this
shit. Hell, I use it to strip
paint off my walls.
      (handing shot to
       Brad)
Hence, you are fucked.
                                                            
Bradley has and unsure look on his face as he looks at the
task in front of him. He sniffs it and jolts back. Closes
his eyes. Pinches his nose. Down the hatch.

Instantly he begins violently coughing and stammering
around. After a few seconds of this he pauses, throws his
hand over his mouth, and begins to heave ever so slightly.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Brad get in the fuckin bathroom
now before you commit a major foul
and have to drink two of those
fuckin things.
                                                            
Brad runs off to find the bathroom. Terry pours himself a
shot of Everclear and drinks it down.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Just gotta get used to the shit
that's all.
                                                            
                       ANDY
So what's the gameplan now?
                                                            

36.

                       TERRY
Well I told you buys I gotta take
a meeting, but not before I call
for some reinforcements.
      (stomping on the
       floor)
I gotta change, answer the door
when they knock.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Who?
                                                            
                       TERRY
You ask too many fuckin questions.
Just get the door and play it
cool.
                                                            
Andy stands prepared to answer. In the background we can
hear Brad continuing to vomit. Sensing what's about to come
Andy pulls out some Binaca to freshen up.
                                                            
Knock! Knock! Knock! Andy walks to the door and opens it
slowly. Standing out there are two drop dead gorgeous
GIRLS.

They say nothing and just walk right past him into the
apartment.

Brad walks out of the bathroom to see the girls and is
startled. He rubs his eyes and picks up the bottle of
Everclear.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Hot damn! This really is good
shit.
                                                            
                       TERRY
      (returning from
       bedroom)
Ahhh ladies, ladies, ladies.
Thanks for joining us. I'd like
to introduce you to my nephew Brad
and his friend...Andy. Boys, this
is NICOLE and MANDY.
                                                            
Nicole is about as blonde as you can get. Tall and athletic
looking. Mandy has dirty blonde hair, a little shorter than
Nicole, but dazzling green eyes. Both girls wear low cut
shirts and shorts that leave nothing to the imagination.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Terry, how young are these fuckin
kids?
                                                            

37.

                       TERRY
Brad's 18, and Andy, well, this
poor little guy is only 17.
                                                            
                       MANDY
Holy shit! When you were talking
these two up you made it sound as
if they were older and out here on
a college graduation kind of trip.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Did I say college? Whoops, I
meant high school. These young
chaps are ready to make their mark
on the world, and I thought you
ladies could get them pointed in
the right direction.
                                                            
                       ANDY
How old are you two?
                                                            
                       NICOLE
25.
                                                            
                       MANDY
24.
                                                            
                       BRAD
You guys hookers?
                                                            
Andy closes his eyes as if he can't believe Brad just opened
up with that question. Nicole walks closer to Brad.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Do we look like fuckin hookers
little man? What would give you
that idea?
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (stammering)
I, I, I just thought my uncle was
gonna surprise us when we got
here. I take it you're not?
                                                            
                       TERRY
Brad you fuckin dumbass. You
really know how to make an
impression.
                                                            
Terry walks over and places his arms around the girls.
                                                            

38.

                       TERRY
These are my neighbors and dear...
      (pinchin their
       butts)
dear friends.
                                                            
The two girls giggle. Brad stands dumbfounded. Andy closes
his eyes again and shakes his head. The five stand in
awkward silence.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Well ladies and boys I gotta jet.
I'll be back in a few hours. Help
yourself to whatever you like.
Girls, please don't be too hard on
these boys. They're good kids,
just a little wet behind the ears.
                                                            
Terry grabs his keys and heads out the door. The four sit
down and continue their awkward silence. Andy turns on the
television.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
If we wanted to watch television
we would have stayed in our own
apartment.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Sorry, just tryin to kill the
silence.
                                                            
                       MANDY
Well, music and conversation are
also pretty good ways to do that.
                                                            
                       ANDY
I don't know how his stereo works.
                                                            
                       MANDY
      (standing up)
Allow me.
                                                            
She walks seductively over to the stereo, flips through a
few dics, before putting The Killers cd on.

Nicole begins to gyrate her body slowly on the sofa. Mandy
rejoins her, but the dialog remains at a stand still.
                                                            
                       BRAD
So, how do you ladies like living
out here in Arizona?
                                                            

39.

                       ANDY
      (shaking his head)
Brad, we're in fuckin Nevada you
retard.
                                                            
The girls roll their eyes. Nicole shoots Andy a look for a
brief second. Andy smiles and scans her body slowly.
                                                            
Brad hops off the couch like a jack-in-the-box.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Well, wherever the fuck we are,
I'm doin a shot, anyone in?
                                                            
No one says anything. Brad walks to the bar.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Ahhh, Uncle T. has Everclear, my
favorite. Don't mind if I do.
                                                            
                       ANDY
You sure you want to do that?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Don't tell me my business devil
woman. I don't take no lip from
no bartender.
                                                            
The girls look puzzled.
                                                            
                       ANDY
My friend likes to quote random
movies lines. I believe those
were from...
                                                            
                       NICOLE
      (finishing Andy's
       sentence)
Billy Madison and Tombstone.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (surprised
       expression)
Wow, I'm impressed.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Yeah, well we do get movie
channels out here in Arizona.
                                                            
The three share a laugh. Brad has lined up two shots of
Everclear instead of one. He downs them quickly and uses
all his might to keep it down.


40.

This goes on for nearly a minute. Andy, Mandy and Nicole
just stare at him. Brad regains composure, but it's obvious
the alcohol has gotten to him.

He stumbles to the fridge to grab a beer and begins walking
towards the patio.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (slurring)
Let's say we move this party
outside, shall we.
                                                            
Brad continues walking right into the sliding glass door. He
falls backwards on the floor, spilling his beer all over
himself. Andy rushes to his friends aid.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (shaking Brad)
Brad! Brad, you all right?
                                                            
Nothing comes from Brad but a deep snore. Andy stands to
face the girls.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Looks like we wont be taking the
party outside. He's out cold.
                                                            
                       MANDY
      (sarcastically)
That's a shame.
                                                            
The two girls begin whispering in each others ears
mysteriously, while Andy tries to clean up the mess.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Hey Andy, why don't we relocate to
our apartment. I feel like some
wine, and I know that Terry's got
none in his apartment.
                                                            
                       ANDY
What about Brad?
                                                            
                       MANDY
He's fine where he's at. Better
just let him sleep it off.
      (motioning to Andy)
Come on, before we change our
mind.
                                                            
Andy and the girls leave the apartment. Brad comes to for a
second, but slumps his head back down on the floor.
                                                            
 

41.

INT. MANDY AND NICOLE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
                                                            
Mandy and Nicole's apartment looks more like a college dorm
than anything. Lava lamps and strobe lights are on almost
every table. Posters of Justin Timberlake and Jared Leto
one the walls. A chair, made out of superglued beer cans
sits in the corner.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (pointing to beer
       chair)
That's fuckin sweet.
                                                            
                       MANDY
Thanks, we collected all the cans
from our last party, and Nicole
had her friend superglue them
together. You can sit in it if
you want.
                                                            
                       ANDY
I'm cool in this chair.
                                                            
Andy takes his seat. Nicole returns from the kitchen with a
bottle and 3 glasses.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Hope you like red cause that's all
we got.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Red's alright with me.
                                                            
Nicole pours the 3 glasses and takes a seat next to Mandy on
the couch.

Andy scans the apartment looking for a conversation starter.
He sees a backback in the corner.
                                                            
                       ANDY
You guys in school?
                                                            
                       NICOLE
I'm going to UNLV for finance,
Mandy works at a travel agency.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Ahhh, the Runnin Rebs. How's
their football team look for next
year.
                                                            

42.

                       NICOLE
Pretty small, but their cocks are
big.
                                                            
Andy furrows his eyebrows and takes a long sip of wine.
                                                            
                       MANDY
So, are you going to college?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Yeah, I'm starting at Omaha State
in the fall.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
What the fuck's in Omaha?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Jack shit...and 311's from there.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Who?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Nevermind.
                                                            
                       MANDY
So what are you going to major in?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Probably early childhood
education.
                                                            
                       MANDY
Wow, a man in education. That's
rare these days. I gotta admit,
that's quite a turn on for me.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Thanks, I aim to please. I might
also minor in music, but I'm not
sure yet.
                                                            
                       MANDY
What do you play?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Guitar, piano, and I sing a little
bit.
                                                            
                       MANDY
What a coincidence, I play guitar
too.
                                                            

43.

                       ANDY
Well how bout that. You any good?
                                                            
                       MANDY
Let me get my guitar and you be
the judge.
                                                            
Mandy scampers out of the room. Nicole sips her wine and
runs her finger along the edge of the glass. Andy tries not
to stare at her, but it's just too difficult.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Just so you know, she sucks.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Well, you know what they say,
practice makes...
                                                            
                       NICOLE
      (continuing)
I swallow.
                                                            
Andy gulps the rest of his wine and now sits uncomfortably.
Nicole stares him down and bites her lip. Andy can't help
but smiling.
                                                            
Mandy returns with guitar in tow. She sits and prepares to
play.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Mandy, hun, why don't we let our
guest play first?
                                                            
                       MANDY
      (handing guitar
       over)
How rude of me. By all means Mr.
teacher.
                                                            
Andy begins to play the opening notes of Babe I'm Gonna
Leave You by Led Zeppelin.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (singing)
Babe, I'm gonna leave you. I said
baby, you know, I'm gonna leave
you. I'll leave you in the
summertime, leave you when the
summer comes a rolling.
                                                            
The girls listen intently and begin to rub each others legs.
Nicole leans in and begins kissing Mandy's neck. Mandy
rubs here breast while this is going on.
                                                            

44.

Andy begins hitting a string of wrong notes as he watches
all of this unfold before him. He even stops singing and
just struggles to play with his mouth open.
                                                            
Simultaneously the girls take off their shirts and bras.
Andy breaks a string when he sees the girls topless.
                                                            
                       MANDY
You broke the g string. Good
thing we have extras right here.
                                                            
The girls slide off their shorts to reveal their matching
black and pink underwear. Andy has stopped playing all
together and just stares.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
      (standing)
Why don't you follow us.
                                                            
Andy walks behind the girls to the bedroom thanking god for
the situation he is in.
                                                            
BEDROOM
                                                            
Once inside the bedroom Mandy starts to kiss Andy, while
Nicole strips him down to his boxers.

Nicole shoves him onto the bed and begins to tie his hands
with a pink scarf. Andy looks uneasy with this and begins to
tense up.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Take it easy big boy. We wont
hurt you.
      (kissing him)
Much.
                                                            
From Andy's POV we see Mandy appear on top of him. She
begins to kiss him on his forehead, and then slowly works
her way down until she is out of view.

Andy resists at first, but finally gives in. He lays his
head back and closes his eyes. He opens them to see Nicole
walking in with a duffle bag. Andy eyes it suspiciously.
                                                            
                       MANDY
      (surfacing)
Switch!
                                                            
Nicole assumes Mandy's position and disappears from sight.
While she is going down on him Andy's eyes are wide open as
he carefully watches Mandy in horror.
                                                            

45.

First Mandy pulls out a purple double sided dildo, followed
by a strap on, a ball and gag mask, nipple clamps, whips,
chains, and small knives.
                                                            
Andy's horror increases with each item she pulls out. At
the same time he can't ignore the feeling he's experiencing
from Nicole.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (terrified orgasm)
Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh my
fucking god. Uhhhhhhh!!! Holy
shit, that was awesome. Now, can
you please untie me?
                                                            
Nicole inches her way back up to Andy's face and licks his
lips.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
      (whispering)
First the pleasure, then the pain.
                                                            
Nicole walks over to Mandy and places a hand on her ass. The
two exchange another long kiss. Mandy picks up on of the
small knives and seductively moves it down Nicole's back.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (nervously)
I don't think you need a knife to
get the knot out. Probably can
use your teeth if you need to.
                                                            
                       MANDY
      (pointing the
       knife)
You ever been with cutters before.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Like stone cutters?
                                                            
                       MANDY
No you silly boy.
      (slicing Nicole's
       thigh)
Cutters.
                                                            
As she cuts Nicole lets out a pleasurable, but somewhat
painful, moan. Andy starts freakin out.
                                                            
                       ANDY
I've seen enough. No I have never
been with cutters, and I don't
intend to be.
                                                            

46.

Mandy points the knife at Andy and begins walking slowly
towards him, like a predator toying with its prey.
                                                            
                       MANDY
Do you wanna get cut?
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (squirming)
No, no, no I don't want to get
cut. Knives and shit freak me
out. I just want to be untied so
I can go to bed. I've had a
lovely time with you ladies, but I
think the night has got to come to
an end.
                                                            
                       MANDY
Awwww, you're no fun. Nicole, do
we have anything not so violent we
can use with our friend here?
                                                            
Nicole pulls out the strap on and hooks it around her waist.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
Is this too much for you?
                                                            
                       ANDY
No, that's fine. I'm cool watchin
you two use that on each other.
I'd just prefer to have my hands
untied while you do it.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
I'm not just usin this on Mandy, I
want to use it on you too.
                                                            
Andy struggles harder to free himself. The bedposts creak
and shake with each attempt.
                                                            
                       ANDY
I don't want any part of this. I'm
not in to that kinky s&m kind of
shit. I'm pretty boring when it
comes to sex. I like it
missionary, girl on top, or doggie
style, that's it. No knives, no
whips, no dildo's, none of it. Do
you understand?
                                                            
                       MANDY
      (looking at Mandy)
Sounds like someone needs the
beads.
                                                            

47.

A huge smile comes across Nicoles face as Mandy reaches for
a long strand of round anal beads. Andy begins pulling with
all his might now.
                                                            
                       MANDY
Now don't be freaked out by these.
They may look intimidating, but
they are alot of fun. We've used
em' on your friends uncle before
and he loves em'. Now, we'd like
to use em' on you.
                                                            
Andy is finally able to free himself from captivity. He
leaps off the bed and gathers his clothes in his arms. The
girls grab at him, but he is able to slip by.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (hurrying out of
       the room)
This has truly been an educational
experience and I appreciate you
trying to expand my horizons, but
if you don't mind, I need to be
leavin. I've got a long day
tomorrow.
                                                            
Andy places his hand on the doorknob and is just about to
leave.
                                                            
                       MANDY
Wait!
      (Andy turns around)
If you like your sex boring and
unadventurous then fine. Lay back
down and I'll fuck your brains out
from on top.
                                                            
For a second Andy looks as if he will be talked into this.
He takes his hand off the door and begins to take a few
steps towards Mandy.
                                                            
Nicole appears with an extension chord noose in her hand.
                                                            
                       NICOLE
While I choke her from behind with
this.
                                                            
Andy has seen enough. He turns back around and flees the
scene without saying a word.
                                                            
 

48.

INT. TERRY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
                                                            
Andy bursts through the front door of the apartment to find
Terry cooking eggs naked in the kitchen. Terry sizes Andy
up and down as he stands there with his clothes in his arms
and terror in his eyes.

Andy quickly hurries to the back bedroom without saying a
word.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Let me guess. It was the anal
beads.
                                                            
Andy says nothing, hurries to the bedroom, and shuts the
door.
                                                            
                       TERRY
You just gotta get used to the
shit, that's all.
                                                            
 
EXT. TERRY'S DECK - DAY
                                                            
Andy and Brad sit in silence on Terry's deck eating their
Apple Jacks. Brad is obviously hungover as he rubs his
temples and lets out a groan. Andy carefully sips his
coffee and looks at the scenery around them.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I don't know what the fuck
happened last night, but when I
came to you were already in bed.
What happened with you and the
girls?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Not much. Just talked and played
some drinking games. That's about
it.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Yeah well after I woke up I went
outside to get some air and I saw
Nicole. We talked for a bit and
made out for a while. She wanted
me to come to her apartment, but I
passed. I'd rather have both of
us take care of those girls.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
Do I tell him that I busted a nut
in Nicole's mouth.
      (thinking)
            (MORE)

49.

                       ANDY (cont'd)
Nawwww, he's already vomited
enough.
                                                            
Terry appears in a silk bathrobe with coffee in hand.
                                                            
                       TERRY
You boys have fun last night?
                                                            
                       BRAD
What I can remember was alright.
No more Everclear for me.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Andy?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Yeah, it was educational to say
the least.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Well good, hope it didn't wipe you
out too much cause I got somethin
wild planned for us this
afternoon.
                                                            
                       BRAD
What's that?
                                                            
                       TERRY
      (looking at Andy)
We're gonna go to a craft store
and string some beads.
                                                            
Andy looks at him without the slightest bit of humor in his
eyes.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Come again.
                                                            
                       TERRY
That's what she said.
      (sipping coffee)
I'm just kidding. Why don't you
boys get dressed and meet me
downstairs in 10 minutes.
                                                            
Terry walks inside and throws his robe down on the floor
revealing his naked backside yet again.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Your uncle sure likes walking
around naked.
                                                            

50.

                       BRAD
Tell me about it. I wonder where
he's taking us?
                                                            
 
EXT. BUNGEE JUMP DECK - DAY
                                                            
The two boys and Terry stand on the deck, supended 150 feet
off the ground. Andy grips the railing with all his might
and shuts his eyes. Brad looks all around him, highly
enthused.
                                                            
                       BRAD
This is fuckin awesome!
                                                            
The wind picks up a bit, and the deck sways slightly.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Oh fuck, oh fuck. Why the fuck am
I doing this?
                                                            
                       TERRY
Well boys, whose goin first?
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (stepping to the
       edge)
Don't have to ask me twice.
                                                            
Brad jumps, plummets, and springs back up as he lets out a
loud yeee ha!
                                                            
                       TERRY
      (yelling down)
This ain't the fuckin old west
Brad!
                                                            
Brad continues to spring and swing as Terry turns his
attention to the petrified Andy.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Well buddy boy, you're next.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (eyes closed)
I can't fuckin do this. I've
never in my life wanted to do
this. Why the fuck didn't you
tell me we were doing this?
                                                            
                       TERRY
Cause I figured you'd be a pussy
and back out. Just grow a pair,
close your eyes, and jump. It's a
            (MORE)

51.

                       TERRY (cont'd)
hell of a rush.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Call me a pussy all you want, I'm
not doin it.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Fine Nancy Drew. I'll jump and
you can enjoy the deck descension.
Or is that too much for you to
handle also?
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (extending middle
       finger)
Fuck you Terry!
                                                            
Terry grabs Andy's arm and chucks him over the side. Andy
screams as he plunges downward and springs back up.
                                                            
                       ANDY
You motherfucker! I'm gonna
fuckin kill you!
                                                            
                       TERRY
      (yelling)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell me about
it on the ground.
                                                            
Terry jumps.
                                                            
 
EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
                                                            
The 3 walk to the jeep. Andy walks fast and far ahead.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Uncle T. that was awesome. Can I
do it one more time?
                                                            
                       TERRY
That's cool, but you're paying
this time.
                                                            
Brad scampers off. Terry speeds up to Andy. He puts his
arm on his shoulder. Andy throws his arm off.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Don't fuckin touch me.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Come on, wasn't that fun?
                                                            

52.

                       ANDY
That was not cool. You know I
didn't want to do that. What the
fuck is your problem?
                                                            
                       TERRY
I don't have a problem, you do.
You're kind of an uptight dickwad.
But you've got potential. I was
just trying to get you out of your
shell, that's all.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Well whatever your opinions are
about me keep them to yourself.
You know nothing about me.
      (pointing back)
That was fucked up and you know
it.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Maybe a little, but I'll make it
up to you tonight.
                                                            
                       ANDY
What, with bisexual nymphomaniacs?
                                                            
                       TERRY
No, we'll kick it classy, without
Brad. Trust me, you'll have fun.
                                                            
Andy eyes Terry suspiciously.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Trust me.
                                                            
 
INT. TERRY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
                                                            
                       BRAD
This is bullshit, why do I have to
stay home while you fuckers go out
and have a good time.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Brad, this might be one of my only
opportunities to hit up a strip
club, and you know I need your id
to do that.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Yeah, but, I wanted to get out
their first. I'm the 18 year old,
not you. And besides, if you
            (MORE)

53.

                       BRAD (cont'd)
didn't look anything like me you
wouldn't be goin anyways.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Brad, quit bein so fuckin selfish.
You can get out there anytime you
want, Andy has less of an
opportunity to because his parents
didn't fuck a few months sooner.
So quit bitchin and hand over the
id so he can start studying your
info. You and I have the rest of
your time here in Vegas to see all
the titties and bush that we want
to. Just take one for the team
and let your friend have some fun.
                                                            
Brad reluctantly hands his id over and slumps down on the
couch.
                                                            
                       BRAD
So what am I supposed to do in the
meantime?
                                                            
                       TERRY
Well, Miracle should be home in a
few hours. You guys can spend
some time getting to know each
other. Or, you can always visit
Mandy and Nicole and make up for
your idiotic crap you pulled the
other night.
                                                            
Terry grabs his keys and heads for the door. Andy
approaches Brad.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Dude, if it's that big of a deal
just let me know and I wont go.
                                                            
                       BRAD
No, Uncle T's right. I am bein
selfish. You go an have fun,
Nicole and I will just pick up
where we left off last night.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Have her call you Andy once while
you're fuckin her.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Will do.
                                                            

54.

Andy and Terry exit.
                                                            
 
EXT. PARKING LOT OF CRAZY HORSE - NIGHT
                                                            
Andy and Terry exit the Crazy Horse looking dejected. Andy
kicks a beer can that is lying in the parking lot.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Smooth move trying to get me into
a strip club that's 21 and over
ass.
                                                            
                       TERRY
My mistake. I never go to the
Crazy Horse.
                                                            
                       ANDY
I think we've got a better chance
of seeing strip club parking lots
than we do of seeing strippers.
                                                            
                       TERRY
I think you've got a good shot of
being replaced by my nephew if you
don't quit your bitchin. Now shut
up and keep studying his id.
                                                            
SERIES OF SHOTS

A) Terry and Andy leave another strip club upset.

B) A bouncer shakes his head as he looks at the id card and
points to the door.

C) Terry is escorted out by bouncers at another club,
screaming bloddy murder. Andy just shakes his head.

END SERIES OF SHOTS
                                                            
 
EXT. SEDUCTIONS PARKING LOT - NIGHT
                                                            
Terry's jeep comes to a stop. He lets out a deep sigh and
rubs his face. Andy eyes the neon sign of Seductions.
                                                            
                       ANDY
We gonna get kicked out of here
too.
                                                            
                       TERRY
No, cause you ain't comin in. I'm
tired of driving around, I want a
beer so I'm going in for a drink
            (MORE)

55.

                       TERRY (cont'd)
and you're going to wait out here.
                                                            
Terry steps out of the jeep. Andy stands up in the
passenger seat.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Are you serious?
                                                            
                       TERRY
      (walking away)
As a heart attack.
      (turning around)
There's a bottle of Bicardi in the
back seat if you want some.
                                                            
Terry enters the strip club. Andy hops out of the jeep and
looks around. There is nothing. They are way off the main
strip. It is a very empty and lonely atmosphere.

Andy fishes for the Bicardi and takes a swig. He pulls out
a smoke and lights up.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
This is great. He's inside seein
tits and I'm stuck out here with
my dick in my hand. Could my
night get any worse?
                                                            
Andy blows a huge cloud of smoke out. Through the cloud
VENETIA approaches.

Venetia is a very tall black girl with long hair, a green
tube top, and a short black mini skirt. It doesn't take a
genius to realize she is a hooker.
                                                            
                       VENETIA
Gotta smoke I can bum?
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (fishing in pocket)
Sure.
                                                            
Andy lights the cigarrette for her and she takes a long drag
and blows it out like its been a hell of a night.
                                                            
                       VENETIA
Thanks sugar.
      (taking another
       drag)
So where you from?
                                                            

56.

                       ANDY
Ohio.
                                                            
                       VENETIA
Well, you're a long way from home.
What brings you out here?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Graduation present.
                                                            
                       VENETIA
Ohhh, well, congratulations. Let
me ask you a question. What's a
fine lookin white boy like you
doin out here in the parking lot?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Well, I'm only 17 and I can't get
in to any of these places, so the
guy I'm with went in to have a
beer and I'm stuck out here.
                                                            
                       VENETIA
Just as well, those places are rip
offs. You end up dumpin anywhere
from 100 to 200 dollars to see
some bitches dance for you who
you'll never in your life get to
fuck.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Tell me about it.
                                                            
                       VENETIA
      (putting out smoke)
Now, if you wanna fuck me its only
50.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Excuse me?
                                                            
                       VENETIA
50 for a fuck, 25 for a blowjob.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (stammering)
I'm sorry but I've got no money on
me. My friend was gonna pay for
everything.
                                                            
Venetia sizes him up.
                                                            

57.

                       ANDY (VO)
That's a load of bullshit. I've
got almost 500 dollars in my
wallet sitting in the glove
compartment. But I'm not gonna be
an idiot and tell her that.
                                                            
                       VENETIA
You mean to tell me a well dressed
man on the town like you has no
money on you at all?
                                                            
                       ANDY
That's what I'm tellin ya.
                                                            
Venetia begins to stroke Andy's hair behind his ear.
                                                            
                       VENETIA
I like you sugar, so I'll make you
a deal. I'll blow you, right here
in this jeep, for 15.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Can't do it, I'm sorry.
                                                            
                       VENETIA
Let me see your cock. Maybe I'll
do it for free.
                                                            
Andy stares at her with a give me a break look on his face.
She begins to laugh.
                                                            
                       VENETIA
You're right, I wont do it for
free. But I would like to see it.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Sorry, I just wouldn't feel
comfortable out here doin that. I
hope you understand.
                                                            
                       VENETIA
      (walking away)
I gotcha. Well, if you change
your mind I'll be over here.
                                                            
Andy watches her walk away and smiles to himself. He
reaches in the back and takes another swig. As he is doing
this a BLACK MAN on a bicycle rolls up.
                                                            
                       BLACK MAN
Hey man why you fuckin with my
bitch?
                                                            

58.

                       ANDY (VO)
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. It's
her fuckin pimp. What do I do?
This is bad, this is bad.
      (studdering)
Hey man I, I, I wasn't fuckin with
her I just didn't re, require her
services at this time. I didn't
mean any disrespect I...
                                                            
                       BLACK MAN
      (laughing)
Awww man I'm just fuckin with you.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (sigh of relief)
Really?
                                                            
                       BLACK MAN
Shit yeah homey. Besides, I think
that was a dude. You can never be
to sure. Bitch tried to get me to
show her my dick and I was like,
you show me yours first.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (nervous laugh)
That's funny.
                                                            
                       BLACK MAN
Didn't mean to scare you bro, just
saw my opportunity and took it.
But, if she or he does come back
tell her the same thing I did.
                                                            
Andy and the man shake and he rides off. Andy sees Venetia
walking across the sidewalk hollering at cars. She sees
Andy staring at her.
                                                            
                       VENETIA
Sure you don't wanna show it?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Show me yours first.
                                                            
Andy starts chuckling to himself until he is thrown up
against the jeep.

He turns to see Venetia's PIMP starin him dead in the eye.
There is no use struggling. He is much stronger than Andy
and almost twice his size.


59.

Andy tries to scream, but the pimp throws his hand over his
mouth and pulls out a knife.
                                                            
                       PIMP
I've been watchin you man. You
like fuckin with my bitches dont'
ya.
                                                            
Andy shakes his head. The pimp slams him again.
                                                            
                       PIMP
Yes you do motherfucker. Well now
we's gonna fuck with you. What's
that you told Venetia, show me
yours first. That's some funny
shit. Well guess what big man.
She is gonna show you.
      (yelling)
Venetia, get yo fuckin ass ova
here!
                                                            
Andy's eyes get wide as she approaches. The pimp takes his
hand off Andy's mouth. He opens the passenger side door.

Holding the knife in one hand he begins to unzip Andy's
shorts and pull them down. Andy struggles but it's no use.
                                                            
                       PIMP
Put up a fight bitch, that's the
way she, I mean he, likes it.
                                                            
Venetia is now behind the bent over Andy. The pimp keeps
the blade to Andy's face. Venetia grins mischieviously.
                                                            
                       PIMP
Make this punks asshole bleed
baby.
                                                            
                       VENETIA
      (manly voice)
You got it baby.
                                                            
Andy closes his eyes. BAM!!! From behind Terry clobbers the
pimp over the head with the Bacardi bottle. Venetia spins
around to face his assailant.
                                                            
                       VENETIA
Wait mister. You wouldn't hit a
lady would you?
                                                            
Terry thinks for a moment with his hands clenched in a fist.
                                                            

60.

                       TERRY
On a good day, no, probably not.
                                                            
Just as quickly as Venetia smiles Terry cold clocks him
right in the face. He bounces off the jeep and hits the
pavement.
                                                            
                       TERRY
But this has been one long
motherfuckin night.
                                                            
Terry looks down at Andy, bent over and shaking.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Pull your pants up man, show some
fuckin dignity.
                                                            
Andy stands to face Terry and wipes a tear from his eye.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Thanks Terry.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Don't get all fuckin mushy on me.
You owe me one.
                                                            
The two pull away in the jeep leaving their captors writhing
on the ground.
                                                            
                       TERRY (OS)
I can't take you anywhere, can I?
                                                            
 
INT. TERRY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
                                                            
Brad sits on the couch as a topless MIRACLE dances for him
to Usher. For an older woman she is gorgeous. Brad can
barely contain himself as she leans back over him with her
breasts in the air.

Andy and Terry walk in to see this unfolding right in front
of them.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Brad, what the hell's goin on?
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (brushing hair
       away)
Hey man, how was the strip club?
                                                            
                       ANDY
I'll tell you later.
                                                            

61.

Terry walks over and grabs himself a drink.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Bradley, I see you've met Miracle.
Andy, this is my woman.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (staring)
How do you do.
                                                            
                       MIRACLE
      (continuing to
       dance)
I do just fine. Have a seat next
to your boy, I'll be with you in a
sec.
                                                            
Andy obliges and takes a seat next to Brad, never once
taking his eyes off of Miracle. Terry sits in the corner
and watches everything intently.
                                                            
Miracle sticks her breasts right in Brad's face and proceeds
to squeeze them together.
                                                            
                       MIRACLE
You can sample if you want?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Really?
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (whispering)
Dude, think about what you're
about to do. She might be your
aunt someday.
                                                            
                       MIRACLE
Might is the key word here my man.
                                                            
                       BRAD
No, you're right. I'll enjoy the
dance but I'll have to pass on the
samples.
                                                            
                       MIRACLE
Suit yourself.
      (switching to Andy)
How bout you, you want a sample?
                                                            
Miracle grinds her ass into Andy's crotch. He tenses up as
he senses Terry's eyes upon him.
                                                            

62.

                       ANDY
I'll pass as well.
                                                            
                       TERRY
      (angrily)
If someone offers you a sample you
take it.
                                                            
Terry stands and throws his drink across the room.
                                                            
                       TERRY
      (screaming)
Now fuckin take it!
                                                            
Andy reluctantly puts his head in between Miracles breasts.
Brad looks away. Terry glares at them from across the room.

Miracle begins to straddle and dry hump Andy. Terry storms
towards the door, punches the wall, and exits.
                                                            
                       ANDY
What's his problem? He told me to
do it.
                                                            
                       MIRACLE
He always gets a little angry when
he watches me work.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Work?
                                                            
Miracle kills the music and quickly dresses. She is now
standing in front of the boys.
                                                            
                       MIRACLE
That'll be twenty a piece.
                                                            
                                         4:00 A.M.
                                                            
Andy is sound asleep on the couch when he is awoken by a
strange noise. He sits up to see Terry, drunk as a skunk,
firing a bow and arrow into his dartboard.
                                                            
                       TERRY
      (muttering)
That fuckin bitch. That fuckin
bitch. How can she do this shit
to me? My nephew and his fuckin
friend. What the fuck was she
thinkin?
                                                            
Terry misses the dartboard and plunges the arrow deep into
the wall. Andy lays motionless. Terrified to move.
                                                            

63.

                       ANDY
      (cautiously)
You told me it was cool.
                                                            
Terry aims the bow and arrow at Andy. He breathes heavily
and has pure hatred in his eyes. Andy desperately tries to
shield himself with a pillow.

Terry fires and shatters the lamp directly behind Andy.
Glass flies everywhere as Andy takes cover on the floor.

Startled by the noise, Brad and Miracle emerge from their
respective bedrooms.
                                                            
                       MIRACLE
What the fuck did you do that for?
                                                            
Terry takes a moment to stare everyone down. He throws the
bow and arrow to the floor.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Fuck you all. I'm goin to bed.
                                                            
Andy is left ghostly white and shaking on the floor. Brad
returns to his bedroom. Miracle begins packing a bag.
                                                            
                       MIRACLE
I am so fuckin outta here! If you
get sick of his shit too here's
the number I'll be at. You can
crash with us until your sentence
is over.
                                                            
She hands Andy a slip of paper and kisses him on the cheek.
Andy watches her leave and then turns his gaze to the
numerous holes in the wall, the dartboard, and the shattered
lamp.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (to himself)
Psycho.
                                                            
 
INT. GUEST BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
Brad poses in front of a small mear checking out his outfit.
Andy throws a shirt on and heads to the bathroom to put gel
in his hair.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Anymore shit like that and I'm
hoppin on the next plane outta
here.
                                                            

64.

                       BRAD
      (flexing)
I don't blame you. He does have a
tendency to go off the deep end
sometimes. But figure this, we
only got a couple days left here
and then we'll be off with my
Grandpa.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Yeah, I guess you're right. If I
made it this far I can survive a
few more days.
                                                            
                       TERRY (OS)
      (yelling)
Hurry up you faggots we got
reservations at 6:00!
                                                            
The two boys roll their eyes and take one more look in the
mirror. They exit the room to find Terry looking disgusted
over Andy's outfit.
                                                            
                       TERRY
I tell you we're going to a nice
restaurant and you put on an
Indians shirt and shorts. Get
back in there and put something
nice on for christs sakes.
                                                            
                       ANDY
It's 110 fuckin degrees out.
                                                            
                       TERRY
We're in the desert. It's a dry
heat. I think you'll live.
                                                            
Andy storms back into the bedroom and begins rooting through
his suitcase for something else to wear.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
Prior to this trip I thought it'd
be Brad I wanted to kill. But to
be quite honest, I haven't even
noticed him with all the other
shit that's been goin on. But
that fuckin Terry guy, I swear, if
he says one more thing to me I'm
gonna snap.
                                                            
Andy emerges from the bedroom with a pair of khakis and his
hawaiian shirt.
                                                            

65.

                       TERRY
Not a huge improvement, but it'll
do.
                                                            
 
EXT. FREEMONT STREET - NIGHT
                                                            
The three walk under the mesmerizing lights of Freemont
Street. Andy and Brad gawk at the sights and sounds around
them.

Terry actually stops being a dick and points out various
things of interest.

The bright lights above are enough to make you dizzy. Andy
and Brad stop to take several pictures.

The three stop to listen street musicians. They toss in a
few bucks.

Sharing laughs, they press on. All three turn to stare at a
hot brunette that walks by. They high five each other and
continue walking as if they were the best of friends.
                                                            
 
INT. BUFFET STYLE RESTAURANT - NIGHT
                                                            
The restaurant that Terry has chosen is only a step or two
up from your typical Hometown Buffet.

Three serving troughs are packed with tourists, waitresses
walk around as if they are zombies, and large men and women
can be seen gorging themselves on dumplings and pies.

Several babies cry in the background and are screamed at by
their hillbilly parents. A little boy, not five feet from
Brad, sneezes right into the mashed potatoes.

A sign posted in front of them reads "Seat Yourself."
                                                            
                       ANDY
Reservations at a nice restaurant
ehh?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Looks good to me fellas, lets eat.
                                                            
BUFFET TABLE
                                                            
Andy is having a tough time distinguishing which food is
what. Terry stands next to him in line.
                                                            

66.

                       TERRY
Sorry if I freaked you out last
night. I just got a little pissed
off that's all. No hard feelings.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Not from me, but I think Miracle
is gone for good.
                                                            
                       TERRY
She'll be back. She just can't
get enough of me. We're both
insane and in love. It's a
delicate balance.
                                                            
Andy finally spots some crab legs and starts piling them on
his plate.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Wouldn't eat that if I was you.
                                                            
                       ANDY
All you can eat crab legs? There's
no way I'm passin on this.
                                                            
                       TERRY
People get food poisoning and shit
all the time out here from
seafood. You're playin roulette
there buddy.
                                                            
                       ANDY
I'll take my chances.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Your funeral.
                                                            
 
INT. TERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY
                                                            
Andy is sprawled out on the couch under covers. There is a
bucket next to him along with a bottle of Pepto. He shivers
and starts to dry heave. It passes.

Andy is moaning when Terry and Brad walk into the living
room. They stop to check on their incapacitated friend.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Feel any better?
                                                            
Andy can't speak, he just shakes his head no.
                                                            

67.

                       TERRY
I told you this would happen.
                                                            
Andy leans over and vomits in the bucket.
                                                            
                       TERRY
On that note we're outta here.
There's rice and soup in the
kitchen and some ginger ale.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (vomit dripping
       from lip)
Where are you two goin?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Probably Planet Hollywood and to
do some sight seein. Maybe some
gamblin.
                                                            
                       ANDY
I'm fuckin dyin here and you're
just going to leave me?
                                                            
                       BRAD
You left me the other night, now
it's my turn.
                                                            
                       ANDY
What the hell am I going to do?
                                                            
                       TERRY
There's some porn in the bookcase,
or you can visit Mandy and Nicole
again.
                                                            
                       ANDY
I may be sick, but I'm not
desperate.
                                                            
                                         10 MINUTES LATER
                                                            
Andy is watching two girls on tv making out with each other.
They moan and groan as the blanket Andy is under moves up
and down.

He is really getting into it and even begins to slightly
moan himself.

Suddenly the front door flies open and BRODY enters. He is
tall and scrawny, covered with tattoos. Definitely looks
like a dude who can handle his own.

68.


He is out of breath and gets startled when he sees Andy.
                                                            
                       BRODY
Who the fuck are you?
                                                            
                       ANDY
I'm Andy. I'm Terry's nephews
friend. We're out here for a...
                                                            
                       BRODY
      (interrupting)
Are you watching porn?
                                                            
                       ANDY
No, um, yes, I couldn't figure out
the t.v.
                                                            
                       BRODY
Mind if I join you?
                                                            
Before Andy can say anything Brody hustles to the kitchen to
grab a beer and some chips. He leaps over the couch and
sits down next to Andy. Andy slides over slightly.

He grabs the remote and turns the volume up. He reaches
over and slaps Andy's leg.
                                                            
                       BRODY
You can finish if you want. I
wont mind. I just got outta the
joint, saw that shit everyday.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (uncomfortable)
I'm fine.
                                                            
                       BRODY
So where's Terry at?
                                                            
                       ANDY
He and his nephew stepped out for
a little bit.
      (extending hand)
What's your name again?
                                                            
                       BRODY
      (staring at hand)
One, I didn't tell you my name.
It's Brody. Two, we ain't shakin
until you wash up.
                                                            

69.

Andy stands and walks to the kitchen with the blanket
wrapped around him. Brody begins talking to the screen
while Andy watches him and dries his hands.
                                                            
                       BRODY
      (to t.v.)
You take it you bitch. You filthy
slut. Show em' whose boss. Smack
that ass. I said smack it.
                                                            
Brody notices Andy and stops his play by play. He turns the
volume down on the t.v.
                                                            
                       BRODY
Why ain't you with them?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Cause I've been pukin my guts up
all night long.
                                                            
                       BRODY
      (looking in bucket)
You ate seafood I bet.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Good guess.
                                                            
Brody springs off the couch like a bottle rocket.
                                                            
                       BRODY
I know what will make you feel
better. Hot tub.
                                                            
                       ANDY
No thanks.
                                                            
                       BRODY
I'm not askin, I'm tellin. Hot
tub.
                                                            
 
EXT. HOT TUB - DAY
                                                            
The two sit in the bubbling hot tub alone. Andy tries not
to make eye contact, but Brody continues to stare.
                                                            
                       ANDY
So, what's prison like?
                                                            
                       BRODY
What do you think it's like
motherfucker?
                                                            

70.

                       ANDY
      (scared)
Wrong question, sorry, sorry.
                                                            
                       BRODY
I'm just messin. The joint, it
ain't that bad. Matter of fact,
it's kind of like what you see on
t.v.
                                                            
                       ANDY
You ever get raped?
                                                            
Brody gets a serious look on his face. Andy can tell he
struck a nerve with that question and wishes he could take
it back.
                                                            
                       BRODY
Do I look like a faggot to you?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Wrong question again. I
apologize. Let's start over. Hi,
my name's Andy.
                                                            
                       BRODY
Big spic motherfucker and his
friend got me in the shower. That
shit happens all the time, just
didn't think it'd happen to me.
Guards, fuckin cockroaches, just
look the other way. They don't
give a flying shit what happens,
just as long as there ain't a
crowd.
                                                            
                       ANDY
What'd you do?
                                                            
                       BRODY
I took it like a man. I wasn't
gonna cry like no bitch. I took
it and then got my revenge.
                                                            
                       ANDY
How?
                                                            
                       BRODY
Got me a shank and nearly gutted
the bastard in the shower the next
day.
      (slicing at the
       air)
Had to of stabbed that bitch like
            (MORE)

71.

                       BRODY (cont'd)
15 times. Never seen so much
blood, but it wasn't enough. This
motherfucker was gonna pay. So I
kept stabbin, and stabbin, and
stabbin.
                                                            
Andy leans out of the hot tub and vomits. Brody begins to
laugh and Andy slumps back down into the water.
                                                            
                       BRODY
Little to graphic?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Just a bit. You never got caught?
                                                            
                       BRODY
Shit no. Matter of fact, one of
the guards actually thanked me for
doin it. There were alot of
people gettin sick of that punk in
there. I did alot of people a
favor, and I'd do it again to.
                                                            
Brody dips under water for a few seconds and emerges.
                                                            
                       BRODY
      (thinking)
You like pie?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Not really.
                                                            
                       BRODY
      (slapping the
       water)
What red blooded american don't
like pie? You some sort of
foreigner?
                                                            
                       ANDY
No.
                                                            
                       BRODY
Good, then roll with me. We're
gettin ourselves a pie.
                                                            
 
EXT. SANDY'S PIE PARADISE - DAY
                                                            
Andy is seated in Brody's rusted out Chrysler Lebaron. He
looks sicker than he did before as he aims the air
conditioning right at him.

72.


He scans the radio but is unable to find anything. In the
ashtray he finds a roach. He pulls it out and smells it.
Andy looks around and prepares to spark it.

As he glances into the store he sees Brody with a gun
pointed at the cashier.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Holy shit! This is fuckin
unbelievable!
                                                            
The cashier stuffs some money into a bag and hands Brody his
pie. Brody sprints out of the store and heads for the car.
Police sirens can be heard in the background.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Brad you piece of shit.
                                                            
 
INT. PLANET HOLLYWOOD - DAY
                                                            
Brad and Terry mingle with celebrities and beautiful women.
They tell jokes, sip wine, and get their pictures taken.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Too bad Andy's missin this.
                                                            
 
INT. BRODY'S CHRYSLER LEBARON - DAY
                                                            
The car screeches out of the parking lot and down the
street. Andy clutches the holy shit handles for dear life.

Brody makes a sharp left followed by a sharp right.
Pedestrians leap to get out of the way.

A cop car pulls along side the car. Brody rams the cop car
into a parked car sending it flying into the air.

More police join the chase from adjacent streets.
                                                            
                       BRODY
Open up that pie boy. I ain't got
all day.
                                                            
Andy opens the box and Brody digs in with his bare hands and
pulls out a goopy piece of apple pie. He shoves it in his
mouth and slams on the brakes to turn down an alley.
                                                            
                       BRODY
God damn that's good.
      (eating another
       mouthful)
            (MORE)

73.

                       BRODY (cont'd)
Oh by the way, I didn't just get
out of prison, I broke out. I
tend to leave out the important
details.
                                                            
Brody rolls down the window and brandishes a pistol. He
aims behind and fires at the pursuing officers. Andy plugs
his ears and shuts his eyes.

Brody begins to lose control of the car. The apple pie
flies and splatters on the windshield.
                                                            
                       BRODY
Shit, I wasn't even done with
that.
                                                            
 
EXT. STRATOSPHERE ROLLER COASTER - DAY
                                                            
Brad and Terry scream and holler as the coaster dips and
turns this way and that. The view from up that high is
breathtaking.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Andy would love this.
                                                            
 
EXT. FRONTYARD - DAY
                                                            
The Chrysler Lebaron is embedded into someone's house.
Police are everywhere.

Brody has Andy by the throat holding his gun to his head.
Police shout for him to drop his weapon.
                                                            
                       BRODY
      (whispering)
I ain't gonna shoot you Andy, you
seem like a cool motherfucker.
Just need you for a few more
minutes to get out of this
situation.
                                                            
Andy glances up to see a helicopter hovering up above as the
police form a tighter circle.
                                                            
 
INT. ASIAN MASSAGE PARLOUR - DAY
                                                            
Brad and Terry are receiving full body oil massages from two
Asian masseuses.
                                                            

74.

                       BRAD
Oh my god, this feels so good.
                                                            
                       TERRY
The best is yet to come.
                                                            
Terry slips the two girls a 50 each. They smile and have
the two roll over on their backs. They begin to go to work
with their hands under the towels.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Ever have a happy ending before?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Can't say that I have.
      (moaning)
Andy would really love this.
                                                            
 
EXT. FRONTYARD - DAY
                                                            
Brody is sprwaled on the ground writhing in pain from a
gunshot to the shoulder.

Andy is in the back of an ambulance being questioned by
police, and examined by a paramedic.

He stares ahead blankly as the police continue asking
questions.

He see Brody on the ground give him a thumbs up as they put
him on the stretcher.

Andy looks up to watch the helicopter fly away.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
Take me with you.
                                                            
 
INT. TERRY'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
                                                            
Andy sits on the couch talking to his mom on the phone.
                                                            
                       ANDY'S MOM
Well I've heard enough. Criminals,
hookers, drunken uncles. We never
should have let you go out there.
What were we thinking?
                                                            

75.

                       ANDY
It's not your fault Mom. It
sounded like a good idea at the
time. Things just got a little
messed up that's all.
                                                            
                       ANDY'S MOM
A little, I'd say they got a lot
messed up. I want you on the next
plane home and I don't want you
hanging out with Brad anymore.
                                                            
                       ANDY
My sentiments exactly. But, I
think I'll tough it out. His
grandpa's pickin us up tomorrow.
Maybe I can still salvage part of
this trip.
                                                            
                       ANDY'S MOM
With his family, I doubt it. You
just be safe and keep yourself out
of situations you have no controll
over. Get home soon. I miss you.
                                                            
                       ANDY
I miss you too. I'll call you
when I get back.
                                                            
Andy hangs up the phone just as Brad and Terry walk through
the door. He stares at them angrily.
                                                            
                       TERRY
So, how was your day?
                                                            
 
EXT. OUTSIDE TERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY
                                                            
Andy and Brad wait for Brad's grandfather to show up. Andy
sits on his suitcase staring at a swarm of ants eating a
dead grasshopper.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Who robs a pie store? That is
fucked up.
                                                            
                       ANDY
I just wanna get out of this god
forsaken town.
                                                            

76.

                       BRAD
      (pointing)
Well you're in luck. Our chariot
awaits.
                                                            
The rundown pickup comes to a rickety stop in front of the
house.

Brad's grandfather, WALTER, steps out. He's wearing a #1
Dad t-shirt that is way too tight and allows for his mammoth
gut to hang out.

He spits tobacco on the ground and adjusts his crusty
California Angels hat. He pounds the hood of his truck as
he passes by.
                                                            
                       WALTER
Fuckin niggers always cuttin me
off. God damn, if I had my gun in
the car I would of blown their
fuckin rims off I shit you not.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (attempting to hug)
Gramps.
                                                            
Walter dismisses the hug and points to the back of the
truck.
                                                            
                       WALTER
Throw your shit in there.
      (pointing at Andy)
You too, whatever your name is.
                                                            
Andy struggles to get his suitcase in the back, still
feeling under the weather. Brad hops in the truck.

Terry comes down the stairs, walks right past Walter, and
hops in his jeep.
                                                            
                       WALTER
You ain't seen your old man in six
months and that's the hello I get.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Hi Dad.
      (starting engine)
Fuck you Dad.
                                                            
Terry peels off down the road. Walter watches the jeep go
out of sight.
                                                            

77.

                       WALTER
Well fuck you too.
      (spitting tobacco)
Alright boys let's move out.
                                                            
 
INT. PICKUP TRUCK - DAY
                                                            
CU of sign - RED'S GHOST TOWN AND CANTINA (5 miles on right)
                                                            
                       BRAD
Ghost town! Sweet! Grandpa can
we go?
                                                            
                       WALTER
We're makin good time. Looks like
we'll be at the lake by dark. Why
the hell not. Whatever my
grandson wants, my grandson gets.
      (accelerating)
How bout you Andy? You like ghost
towns?
                                                            
                       ANDY
I guess. I'm still not feeling
one hundred percent.
                                                            
                       WALTER
Ghost town here we come!
                                                            
 
EXT. RED'S GHOST TOWN AND CANTINA - DAY
                                                            
The ghost town is nothing to make a special stop for.
There's a general store, a saloon, a couple of hitching
posts, an outhouse, a jail, a few donkeys milling around,
and several actors posing as cowboys.

Brad runs all around taking pictures of just about
everything he sees. Walter scopes out a girl that couldn't
be older than 13 or 14.
                                                            
                       WALTER
      (to Andy)
I'd like to take her in the
outhouse and plunge her hole if
you know what I mean?
                                                            
Andy says nothing and just walks away. The heat is starting
to get to him and his vision begins to blur. He trips over
a shovel and falls to the ground.


78.

People come to help him up, but their words come at him like
the teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoons.

Andy finally stands and is able to make it to one of the
hitching posts to rest.

The ghost town begins to spin and swirl. Andy can no longer
take it and vomits right on the back of a nearby donkey.

The donkey kicks Andy right out of the frame.
                                                            
 
INT. PICKUP TRUCK - DAY
                                                            
The pickup truck continues down the road, followed by a
trail of smoke. Andy lays in the back in obvious pain.
                                                            
                       WALTER
You sure you don't want to go to a
hospital. Those donkey kicks can
really fuck you up. Mighta broken
a few ribs.
                                                            
                       ANDY
I think I'll be ok.
                                                            
                       WALTER
Just let me know. I know these
parts real well. I'll take you to
a good hospital where you don't
gotta worry about any kikes or
chinks working on ya.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
I thought Walter would be my
salvation. Boy I'm a fuckin
idiot.
                                                            
 
EXT. LAKE HAVASU - NIGHT
                                                            
The lake is packed with hundreds of boats. There are
drunken teens, college students, families, fisherman. You
name it they are there.

The sun has just set beyond the high cliffs that shelter
this little watering hole. The boats are a soft glow now in
the moonlight. Bonfires spring up on the beaches and the
echoing music gets louder.

Men and women are skinny dipping and playing cornhole on the
beach. Andy walks and does his best to avoid their games.
                                                            

79.

                       ANDY (VO)
You wanna hear something funny.
Lake Havasu wasn't so bad. It
actually started out with a bang.
Literally.
                                                            
 
INT. BOAT CABIN - NIGHT
                                                            
Andy lays in bed with a very hot blonde chick. He looks her
over as her arm drapes over him. He mouths the words "oh my
god" to himself.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
No idea how I bagged a chick like
this, and I don't really care.
                                                            
The girl moves slightly, and kisses Andy's chest, before
falling back asleep.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
This is actually Walter's
stepdaughter. Brad said he only
met her once about 10 years ago. I
told him that had better be the
truth, cause I would kill him if
he was hiding a relative like this
from me.
                                                            
Andy begins to stroke the girls hair. She smiles and moans
with enjoyment.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
I met her on this boat only three
hours ago.
                                                            
                                         FLASHBACK
                                                            
 
EXT. BOAT - NIGHT
                                                            
Walter introduces Andy and Brad to his stepdaughter MEGAN.
Megan is a goddess. The kind of girl that needs no
explanation other than, HOT!!!

SERIES OF SHOTS

A) Andy shakes Megan's hand and their eyes meet.

B) She takes Andy around and introduces him to her friends.

C) The two share a drink at the front of the boat with
their feet dangling over the side.

80.


END SERIES OF SHOTS
                                                            
Andy stands behind her now and massages her shoulders. He
looks to his left and sees Brad making out with another
GIRL. He smiles and points at Brad who likewise points
back.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
You ever look at Playboy?
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (massaging)
Sure, I read Playboy.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
      (mockingly)
Yeah, read.
                                                            
Andy playfully pulls her hair and she smacks his hand.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
Anyways, you might want to buy it
next month.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Why's that?
                                                            
                       MEGAN
Cause I'll be in it.
                                                            
Andy stops his massage and just stares. Megan turns to face
him.
                                                            
                       ANDY
That's awesome. Good for you.
But, doesn't it bother you that
people like
      (pointing at Brad)
my friend over there will be
pleasuring themselves to you?
                                                            
                       MEGAN
Not at all.
                                                            
Megan takes Andy's hands.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
At least you can tell him you got
the real thing.
                                                            
Andy smiles and the two begin to kiss.
                                                            
 

81.

EXT. BEACH - NIGHT
                                                            
Andy walks the beach alone and watches the boaters that are
still partying hard.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
And how real it was. At least I
can say there was one shining
moment on this vacation from hell.
Even better, Brad got some from
her friend as well. Good for him,
he needed it.
                                                            
Andy stops to take a leak on a wall.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
      (pissing)
We didn't exchange numbers or
anything. She's got her life and
I've got mine. We knew we'd
probably never see each other
again anyways. So I just left her
like I found her. A beautiful,
angelic...
                                                            
Andy's thoughts are cut off by a beam of light hitting him
right in the face. He shields his eyes and can barely make
out the figure of a POLICE OFFICER approaching him.
                                                            
                       OFFICER DUNKIN
Excuse me son, but what the hell
do you think you're doing?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Just lookin for the bathroom,
that's all.
                                                            
                       OFFICER DUNKIN
I can see that. But can you
explain to me why you are pissing
on a historical landmark?
                                                            
                       ANDY
I beg your pardon.
                                                            
Officer Dunkin spins Andy around and gets right in his face.
                                                            
                       OFFICER DUNKIN
Why are you pissing on the London
Bridge son?
                                                            

82.

                       ANDY
Buddy, I think you're more wasted
than I am.
                                                            
The cop wastes no time in spinning Andy around again and
placing handcuffs on his wrists. Andy can hardly believe
what is going on.
                                                            
                       OFFICER DUNKIN
      (hauling Andy away)
Let's go pal. I wanna no where
you're staying before I haul your
ass off to jail.
                                                            
Andy whacks his head while getting in to the cop car.
                                                            
 
EXT. OUTSIDE WALTER'S TRAILER - NIGHT
                                                            
Walter, obviously half asleep, walks out of the trailer
rubbing his eyes. The cop car stops a few feet from him.
Officer Dunkin pulls Andy out and throws him over the hood.
                                                            
                       OFFICER DUNKIN
Shoulda known he was one of yours
Walt.
                                                            
                       WALTER
He ain't one of mine. Get them
cuffs off him and tell me the
damage.
                                                            
Dunkin takes the cuffs off and throws Andy to the ground.
                                                            
                       OFFICER DUNKIN
Pissin on the bridge? I should
haul his ass in. But I'll let him
off for say, 200.
                                                            
                       WALTER
You're a corrupt man, but a good
man Dunkin.
      (kicking Andy)
Pay the man and get your ass
inside. Pissin on the bridge. Why
I outta!
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (drunk and yelling)
What everybody has failed to
explain to me is what the fuck the
London Bridge is doing in Nevada.
                                                            

83.

Officer Dunkin kicks Andy square in the face. Andy's head
slams in the dirt.
                                                            
                       OFFICER DUNKIN
We're in Arizona ya dumb shit!
                                                            
                       WALTER
That's all Dunkin, that's all. The
boys had enough.
                                                            
He helps Andy to his feet and leads him towards the trailer.
                                                            
                       WALTER
If you got some from Megan don't
hold back. I want details.
                                                            
                       ANDY
You gotta be kiddin me.
                                                            
As they approach the door, another cop car pulls up. The
OFFICER pulls Brad out of the backseat in handcuffs.
                                                            
                       OFFICER EVANS
We got ourselves another pisser
here Walt.
                                                            
                       WALTER
God dammit!
                                                            
                       BRAD
London Bridge my ass!
                                                            
 
INT. PICK UP TRUCK - DAY
                                                            
Walters truck barrels down the highway with Johnny Cash
blaring over the speakers. The skyline of Los Angeles can
be seen in the distance. Brad sleeps in the front. Andy
lays in the back with a nice shiner on his face.
                                                            
                       WALTER
Wake up boys we're almost home.
                                                            
Andy and Brad look out the window half excited about their
new destination. Their smiles soon fade to shock as they
see the exit they are getting off at.

CU of sign - SOUTH CENTRAL LOS ANGELES
                                                            
Andy slowly sticks his cell phone out of the window and
takes a picture.
                                                            

84.

                       BRAD
What the fuck are you doin?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Just taking a picture so people
know where our final resting place
is.
                                                            
The truck rolls down a strip filled with liquour stores,
check cashing agencies and fried chicken restaurants. Pretty
sterotypical of a ghetto.

The truck stops at a light. Andy and Brad duck down low as
another car creeps to a stop next to them. The inhabitants
of the cat peer at them through tinted windows. The light
turns green, Walter flicks them off and hangs a left.
                                                            
 
EXT. WALTER'S FRONT YARD - DAY
                                                            
Not the typical neighborhood for a racist. It appears as if
every household is inhabited by black people. They walk by
on the street and stare down Andy and Brad as they unpack
their stuff.

Groups of men hang on stoops drinkin forties as lowrider
cars bounce by.
                                                            
                       BRAD
This is just like an Ice Cube
song.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Shut the fuck up and get inside.
                                                            
 
INT. WALTER'S HOUSE - DAY
                                                            
Walters house is small and filthy. Andy sets his suitcase
down and spills a whole cup full of tobacco spit. Walter
ignores it and checks his messages.

Brad gazes at the chipped paint on the walls and the bars on
the windows. His eyes stop on gun rack complete with
riffles, pistols, and bullet proof vests.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Planning on an invasion anytime
soon.
                                                            
                       WALTER
What? My guns. Shit their just
for protection. This used to be a
pretty nice neighborhood 30 years
            (MORE)

85.

                       WALTER (cont'd)
ago till all these niggers moved
in. One by one they pretty much
drove all us white folk out, but
not me. It's gonna take more than
a couple of spooks to scare me.
                                                            
Andy walks to the door and rattles the bars.
                                                            
                       WALTER
Word of advice. If you go
anywhere don't make any eye
contact with anyone. Don't wear
any red or blue clothing, and for
gods sakes don't react to anyone
if they say something to you.
They'll try and rattle ya, but you
just ignore it.
                                                            
                       BRAD
To be quite honest Grandpa, we
weren't thinkin of leavin.
                                                            
                       WALTER
That's probably for the best.
      (walking away)
But I would like to show you boys
something.
                                                            
 
EXT. WALTER'S BACKYARD - DAY
                                                            
The boys step over folding chairs and statues as they make
their way to the fence. Walter's grass hasn't been mowed in
months.

Walter points and urges the boys to take a look. Andy and
Brad peer through the fence.

What they see are several MEN in a circle smoking from a
pipe. Andy sniffs the air and looks puzzled.
                                                            
                       ANDY
That's not weed.
                                                            
                       WALTER
No shit Sherlock, their smoking
crack.
                                                            
The boys look again.
                                                            

86.

                       BRAD
You just let them smoke crack back
there?
                                                            
                       WALTER
It ain't my ally and I ain't fixin
to mess with no crackheads.
They're the craziest niggers of
them all.
                                                            
Andy and Brad look at each other in disbelief as Walter
heads back inside.
                                                            
 
INT. WALTER'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Andy lies wide awake listening to the night sounds of South
Central Los Angeles. Commotion and shouting can be heard.
Several gunshots ring out.

Andy walks to the gun rack and pulls out a bullet proof
vest. He lays it on top of him like a blanket and puts his
pillow over his face.

He is startled when the pillow is removed and he finds Brad
standing over him.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Can't sleep. It's too damn hot in
this house.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (sarcastically)
Really, I thought it was the
gunshots that were keepin you up.
They sure as hell have kept me
awake.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I'm bored. Let's spy on the crack
addicts.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Fuck you. There's no way I'm
leavin this house.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Come on, it'll be an adventure.
                                                            
                       ANDY
This whole trip's been an
adeventure I'd just as soon forget
about.
                                                            

87.

                       BRAD
      (walking away)
Pussy.
                                                            
Andy lays still for a moment before standing and quickly
throwing his pants on.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
Shit! There's no way he's goin
out there alone.
                                                            
 
EXT. WALTER'S BACKYARD - NIGHT
                                                            
The boys creep to the fence and peer through. The same
group of men are back there, as well as a few women

The boys continue to watch and don't even notice the dark
figure that appears in the trees above them.
                                                            
                       DAMON
Are the festivities this evening
to your liking?
                                                            
The boys are startled and turn to run.
                                                            
                       DAMON
Freeze bitches! Hop this
motherfuckin fence before I blast
you two fools.
                                                            
The boys turn slowly to find DAMON pointing a gun at them.
They slowly make their way to the fence. Damon even helps
them jump over.

It's hard to make out Damon in the darkness but the boys are
scared shitless. He steps closer to them.
                                                            
                       DAMON
You fellas must be from outta
town. You like what you be seein
out here?
                                                            
Andy and Brad are silent.
                                                            
                       DAMON
What's the matter. Cat got your
tongue? Well allow me to give you
the guided tour.
                                                            
Damon extends a pipe in Brad's direction. He points his gun
at his head.
                                                            

88.

                       DAMON
Smoke this shit.
                                                            
Brad whimpers as he places the pipe to his lips. Damon
lights it for him and he inhales. Instantly Brad begins
coughing and spitting up.

Andy stares while Damon laughs. Brad falls to the ground and
instantly begins moving in slow motion.

Without hesitation Damon extends the pipe and the gun at
Andy.
                                                            
                       ANDY
This isn't the first time this
trip I've had a gun pointed at me.
                                                            
                       DAMON
      (cocking gun)
Well I'll make muthafuckin sure
this is the first time on the trip
that you get shot son.
                                                            
Andy takes the pipe and hits it. He doesn't cough, but the
effects are quick as he too stumbles to the ground.

Andy tries to speak, but the words come out in waves.
Everything around him begins to get dark.

He leans up against Brad as the two fade in and out of
conciousness.
                                                            
                       DAMON
That's some good shit ain't it?.
Probably better than any drug you
all be takin in the burbs.
                                                            
Damon grabs each of the boys chin and tilts back their heads
so he can see.

Both boys have dead and lifeless eyes. To Brad, Damon looks
like the grim reaper. No face, no body, just a black form
of nothingness.
                                                            
                       CRACKHEAD (OS)
We rollin or what?
                                                            
                       DAMON (OS)
Yeah, let's load these bitches up
before they come to.
                                                            
                       CRACKHEAD (OS)
Why we takin dem wit us?
                                                            

89.

                       DAMON (OS)
What kind of a host would I be if
I didn't involve these youngins.
Now hurry up and help me.
                                                            
Damon and his friend help them to their feet. Brad mumbles
incoherently as he is dragged away. Andy manages to open
his eyes for a moment as Damon pulls him along.
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (hazily)
Where we goin?
                                                            
                       DAMON
Don't you worry shawty. You's in
my hands now.
                                                            
 
INT. BLACK SEDAN - NIGHT
                                                            
Through hazy vision Andy slowly comes to and finds himself
in the back of a car. Brad is still zoned out. Damon sits
in the passenger seat while the other man drives.
                                                            
Damon notices that one of his passengers is finally awake.
                                                            
                       DAMON
Mornin sunshine. How we feelin?
                                                            
                       ANDY
      (groggy)
Where are we?
                                                            
                       DAMON
I've decided to extend your tour a
little bit longer. You be rollin
wit us now.
                                                            
Andy attempts to wake Brad. Brad sits up, but is in no
condition to comprehend anything. He can't even formulate
words.
                                                            
                       DAMON
      (looking out
       window)
There's that muthafucka right
there. Kill the lights cuz. Roll
slow, roll slow.
                                                            
The black Sedan's lights go off as it approaches two MEN
sitting on a bus stop bench. Damon rolls down the window.
Surprisingly so does Brad. Andy can't believe what he is
witnessing.

90.


Damon pulls out a gun as the car creeps even slower. Brad
begins to lean out the window.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (yelling)
Break yo self fool!
                                                            
The men are startled as Damon takes aim and fires several
times hitting one man in the chest, and the other in the
shoulder and leg.

The Sedan peels away and Brad nearly falls out of the
window. Andy pulls him back in.
                                                            
                       DAMON
That was a nice touch son. I like
that shit. Haven't heard someone
use that one in years. Shiiit.
                                                            
Brad nods and smiles. He reaches over and jokingly punches
Andy in the arm.
                                                            
                       ANDY
You dumb motherfucker. I know
you're fucked up. So am I. But
what the fuck were you thinkin?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Just keepin it real dawg.
                                                            
                       DAMON
I like this kid. He's like a
cracked up Randy Jackson.
                                                            
The Sedan comes to a stop outside of Walter's house. Andy
helps Brad out of the car. Brad can barely stand.
                                                            
                       DAMON
      (leaning out
       window)
If you boys be around tomorrow we
should kick it. No killin just
chillin, sound cool?
                                                            
The two boys say nothing. The Sedan peels away.
                                                            
                       DAMON (OS)
      (screaming)
Break yo self fool! That's some
funny shit!
                                                            

91.

Andy helps Brad up the walkway. Before they get to the door
he turns Brad to face him.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Not a word of this shit to anyone
do you understand me.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Huh?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Just say you understand.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I understand.
                                                            
Andy helps Brad through the front door.
                                                            
Andy remains outside and has a smoke. He rubs his eyes and
smacks himself in the face. Obviously he is still messed
up.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
While the rest of our stay in LA
wasn't as bad as what we
experienced, it was till fucked
up.
                                                            
 
INT. UNIVERSAL STUDIOS BOAT RIDE - DAY
                                                            
Andy and Brad sit in a boat with several other passengers.
The boat weaves its way in and out of a haunted house. The
passengers startle periodically as things pop out at them.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
      (during boat ride)
I was actually looking forward to
Universal Studios. Thought it
would be a nice relaxing time with
no aggrevation.
                                                            
Suddenly the boat plummets almost one hundred feet. All of
the passengers are drenched by an enormous wave. They laugh
and holler about it. Andy and Brad do not look pleased.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
We had no idea about the enormous
plunge that was awaiting us. Had
we known we never would have got
on this ride. We got to spend the
rest of the day soaked through to
our underwear, with no change of
clothes. Not to mention it wasn't
            (MORE)

92.

                       ANDY (cont'd)
exactly the warmest out at 9:00 in
the morning.
                                                            
 
EXT. HOLLYWOOD - DAY
                                                            
Andy, Brad and Walter stroll through Hollywood trying to
avoid homeless people and gangs of Chinese tourists.

Andy stops to take a photo of one of the Hollywood stars.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
Hollywood was a shithole. Nothing
but t-shirt shops, tattoo parlors,
and pizza restaurants as far as
the eye can see.
                                                            
Andy takes pictures of stars and comes to one that has a man
passed out on it in a pool of vomit.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
The one star I wanted to see the
most was Mickey Mouse, and this
asshole decides to sleep there.
What a town.
                                                            
 
EXT. OUTSIDE OF A TATTOO PARLOUR - DAY
                                                            
Brad runs out of the tattoo shop. He lifts his sleeve to
reveal the name "Incuming" on his arm in bold red and black
letters.
                                                            
                       ANDY
You got the name of our band, that
hasn't even played a show or
recorded a demo, tattooed on your
arm?
                                                            
                       BRAD
You know it baby. This shows my
committment to the band. I know
we're going places.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
Incidentally, Brad is about the
worst drummer in the world. I
fully plan on replacing him in the
future. Hope he likes lazer
surgery.
                                                            
 

93.

INT. PICKUP TRUCK - DAY
                                                            
Andy, Brad and Walter drive back to Vegas in silence.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
Brad and I didn't speak at all the
whole way back to Vegas. Walter
tried to talk, but we couldn't
hear him. We were in another
world.
                                                            
Andy sees the sign for entering Vegas and hangs his head
down. Brad turns around and extends his fist. Andy hits it
with his and gives a half smile.
                                                            
 
INT. TERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY
                                                            
The boys walk through the front door. Terry and Miracle are
on the couch watching porn.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Welcome back fuckers. You ready
for some more fun?
                                                            
The boys say nothing as they slunk to their rooms and shut
the doors.
                                                            
                       TERRY
Homos.
                                                            
BEDROOM
                                                            
Andy lays on the bed with his I-POD on. He stares at the
ceiling as the camera slowly zooms in on him.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
We never did anything during our
last few days in Vegas exceptlay
low. Terry tried to entice us
with girls and booze, but we were
impervious to it. I think we both
had had enough.
                                                            
 
INT. JOHN HOPKINS AIRPORT - DAY
                                                            
The boys jog down the ramp to find their parents waiting for
them. Andy runs and hugs both his mom and dad. Dad seems
surprised, but pleased that his son his home.
                                                            

94.

                       ANDY (VO)
I never thought I'd be so happy to
be home and to see my parents. I
guess I don't have it so rough
here. Things could be much worse.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Where's Amy?
                                                            
                       ANDY'S MOM
She had to babysit.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Figures.
                                                            
Andy and his parents walk away from Brad who is going over
all the details of their trip with his mom. He spots Andy
out of the corner of his eye.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I'll call you later.
                                                            
Andy says nothing.
                                                            
 
INT. ANDY'S CAR - NIGHT
                                                            
Andy drives with determination and purpose on his face. Loud
metal blaring from the speakers.

He pulls into a driveway to find Rob sitting on the porch
smoking a joint.

Andy leaps from the car and heads right for him.
                                                            
                       ROB
What the fuck you doin here bitch!
                                                            
Rob doesn't get in another word before Andy punches him in
the face, sending him into the bushes.

He picks up the joint that Rob dropped and hits it. Amy
comes out of the house.
                                                            
                       AMY
What'd you do that for?
                                                            
Andy walks right up to Amy and kisses her passionately on
the lips. She gropes and claws at his back. Suddenly he
stops and shoves her to the ground.
                                                            
                       ANDY
It's over bitch!
                                                            

95.

He flicks the rest of the joint at her, gets in his car, and
drives away.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
      (driving)
That felt good. As a matter of
fact, alot of the things I ended
up doing felt good. Even the bad
shit.
                                                            
 
EXT. OMAHA STATE - DAY
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
I went to Omaha State and lasted
two years before I flunked out.
Too much drinkin, smokin and not
goin to class will do that.
                                                            
SERIES OF SHOTS

A) Andy doin beer bongs.

B) Andy smoking from a hookah with a group of GUYS.

C) Andy playing Halo with the same group.

D) Andy sleeping while hands try to wake him for class.

END SERIES OF SHOTS
                                                            
 
INT. ANDY'S PARENTS HOUSE - DAY
                                                            
Andy, with more weight on him, carries a dresser with his
father up the steps.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
I moved back in with my parents.
It wasn't so bad. They kept on my
shit and tried to motivate me to
do something with my life.
                                                            
ANDY'S BEDROOM
                                                            
Andy's dad pours a huge glass of water on his head to wake
him up.
                                                            
 

96.

INT. CONVENTION HALL - DAY
                                                            
Andy walks across the stage with cap and gown to accept his
college diploma. He smiles and poses for a picture. He has
definitely packed on a few more pounds.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
      (walking)
I finished up at a state school
and received my diploma. Six
years and 60 pounds heavier I
finally graduated college.
                                                            
Andy continues walking and stops to look directly into the
camera.
                                                            
                       ANDY
What? I told you I developed a
slight drinking problem.
                                                            
 
INT. WEDDING RECEPTION - NIGHT
                                                            
Andy and VICKI dance in the middle of a cirlce created by
Adam, Kyle, Jeff, and others. They all lock arms and sing
American Pie, while Andy and Vicki gaze into each other's
eyes.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
Along the way however I met the
girl of my dreams and eventually
tied the knot. Vicki really
straightened me out and got me
through some rough times. Because
of her I began to see things alot
clearer.
                                                            
Adam interrupts their dance by shaking a champange bottle
and spraying it everywhere.
                                                            
 
INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT
                                                            
Vicki sits in tears as an officer leads Andy out to her. He
removes the handcuffs and Andy staggers up to his wife. He
breaks down and starts crying. They embrace.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
I said she got me seeing clearer,
but my vision still isn't perfect.
                                                            
 

97.

INT. ANDY AND VICKI'S HOUSE - DAY
                                                            
Andy and Vicki unload boxes in their new house. Andy flips
through an old photo album and finds a picture of him and
Brad. It is a picture of the two of them on their
graduation day.

CU OF PICTURE
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
After our flight landed I never
saw Brad again. Last I heard he
knocked some chick up and was
living in a one bedroom shack
somewhere on the east side.
                                                            
Andy puts the picture down and continues unloading.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
I still think about him from time
to time. But that was my old life
and I've learned not to dwell in
the past.
                                                            
 
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Vicki is in a bed pushing with all her might. Andy
frantically tries to video tape it, while Vicki tries her
best to smack the camera out of his hands.
                                                            
                       ANDY (VO)
Speaking of knocked up, Vicki and
I had a kid. Well, four to be
exact.
                                                            
 
EXT. ANDY AND VICKI'S BACKYARD - DAY
                                                            
Andy, Vicki and their 3 boys and girl sit at a picnic table
eating hamburgers and hot dogs.

This is obviously in the future because Andy and Vicki look
much older.

They joke and tell stories. Andy throws food at one of his
boys which sparks a food fight.
                                                            
Andy takes a moment to watch the chaos unfold before is
eyes. He leans in and kisses his wife just before she gets
nailed in the face with potato salad. They share a laugh.
                                                            

98.

                       ANDY (VO)
Who would have thought I'd have a
wife and four kids. My friends
still have trouble with it, but I
wouldn't have it any other way.
Being a teacher, husband and a
father is the greatest thing in
the world. I would do anything for
my family. Well, almost anything.
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Andy is sitting on the couch drinking a beer and wathing a
ball game. The phone rings and Andy gets off the couch to
answer.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Hello.
                                                            
                       BETH
Andy? This is Beth Langston,
Jordan's mom.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Hey Beth how's it goin.
                                                            
                       BETH
Goin well, can't complain. Listen,
I wanted to run an idea by you.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Shoot.
                                                            
                       ANDY
Well, graduation's comin up in a
few months and I was wondering if
you'd like to go in on it with us
and send Quinlyn and Beth out to
Las Vegas to stay with my sister
for a week or so?
                                                            
Andy quickly hangs up the phone and takes a seat. He stares
at the phone and breathes heavily. His daughter, QUINLYN,
appears from the other room.
                                                            
                       QUINLYN
Who's on the phone dad?
                                                            
                       ANDY
Wrong number sweetie.
                                                            
Quinlyn shrugs her shoulders and leaves.
                                                            

99.

                       ANDY
      (to himself)
Wrong fucking number.
                                                            


THE END


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From Todd Date 8/26/2007 ****
This is the first screenplay I have read on this website, and I must say that I am very impressed! I had a solid image of what was going on throughout the entire storyline, and I felt myself creep up to the edge of my seat about halfway through. Keep up the good writing and hopefully I can see this beauty on film someday!


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