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Lets Party and play Football
by Brandon Sentell (Baby_baller206@hotmail.com)

Rated: PG   Genre: Comedy   User Review:

Two guys who were nerds in high school try to change their image around for college. The guys throw an unauthorized party on campus to change their luck, but the party don't go the way they intended.

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



Ray-- a skinny eighteen year old is looking at his
neighbor's house through the window of his bedroom. He sees
food and many people over in their yard. Suddenly, a red
sports car turns into his neighbors driveway speeding. A
cool hipped guy comes out.
      (Talking to
Marks's home!
Ray rushes over to Mark's house.
Mark-- a cool twenty four year old with an athletic body
build. He is wearing designer clothes and a hat. Ray is
approaching him as he is getting out of his sports car with
his fiance.She goes in the house and Mark stays outside to
greet everybody.
      (embracing Mark
       with a handshake)
Mark you are finally home. Whats
been going on with you man and who
is that hottie that got out the
car with you?
Well you know I just came home
because my family wanted to throw
me a little get together since
they haven't seen me in so long.
Man I haven't seen you in a while
either. You done got more muscular
since the last time I saw you.
What did you do to get that built?
You must of ate peanut butter
sandwiches every night?
Neighbor rolls his sleeves up and Ray looks at the size of
Mark's arms in astonishment.


I'm a man now.When I left to go to
school I was a boy, I came back a
man. I played four years of
football, so that kind of had
something to do with me getting
this big and strong.
Well if I ever get into a fight
I'm calling you.
So what you doing with your life
these days?
Man I'm going to freaking college.
I'm going to the same school you
went to. I'm going to follow in
your footsteps. Four years from
now I'm going to come home with a
killer body and a hottie
girlfriend and I'm going to have a
sports car just like you got.
Neighbor pauses shortly and stares at Ray with a smile on
his face.
I'm glad I to see that you look up
to me, but I don't think that I'm
a role model for anybody- but that
hottie who got out the car with me
was my fiance. Would you like to
meet her?
Baby, Baby, can you come here for
just one second please?
Mark fiance comes out the front door. She is very beautiful
and Mark puts his hands around her when she comes out.
Baby I want you to meet my
neighbor Raymondo. He is going to
Radiford University next semester.


      (smiling at
Congratulations. I wish you good
luck there.
The fiance exits and goes back in the house.
Man she is beautiful. How did you
meet her?
I met her at a party my freshmen
year. College women dig guys who
play football.
Ray face lights up.
      (scratches his
       chin as he talks)
So college women dig guys who play
football. Interesting!
Yeah man they do. I got invited to
a lot of parties because I was an
athlete. I mean college isn't
about just going to class and
writing three page essays, it's
also about partying, playing
football and having fun.
      (nodding his head)
Right college is about partying
and playing football.
Ray is in bed pondering with his shirt off. Ray stares at
the pictures that he has of himself on his wall. After
staring for a moment he rips down all the pictures that he
has of himself. Next he goes in his closet and gets rid of
all his old wrestling t-shirts.While he is in the midst of
getting rid of his clothes, his best friend Tim Turner who
has the same characteristics as Ray does enters the room
through the window.


      (Look surprise at
Tim- How did you get in here?
I climbed through the window like
I always do. Are you having a yard
sale or something?
Tim picks up some of Ray old clothes and examines them.
No I just think its time for me to
make some changes in my life.
What kind of changes?
All through high school we were
just ordinary Joes. We never
played football, we never went to
a party and we never had power or
And your point is?
      (standing on his
       bed talking)
I want to be the coolest guy ever
to come through this old crummy
town. I want to have a cute
girlfriend, I want to have a nice
car and I want to be built like a
brick wall. I want fame and more
Tim has got a bag and he is putting Ray's old clothes in it.
Well my suggestion to you is to
come out of your little fantasy
world and enter reality-What you
need to be focused on is getting
ready for college next month.


      (Patting Tim on
       the shoulder)
You know that's a good idea.It's
no wonder why you my best friend.
      (grabbing the bag
       full of clothes)
Well since you don't want these
clothing no more, I'll take them.
After Ray realize what Tim is talking about he hollers for
Tim to hold up, but Tim exit swiftly through the window.
It's early in the morning and Tim and his dad are driving to
Radiford University. Tim's dad is a man with a small statue
and he is wearing an old shirt with some tight pants.
                       TIM'S DAD
Son I am so proud of you. You done
made me so happy.Son you are the
first person in the family to go
to college. I want you to make
sure you make the most out your
four years here.
Small tear drops are starting to flow from Tim's Dad face.
Yeah Yeah- I know dad.Dad I think
you should be focused on the
road,because I think we done
passed our main road.
Tim's dad pull out his map.
                       TIM'S DAD
      (looking at his
Now, no need to panic. According
to my map we can just turn on I-95
and that will put us back on the
main road.
Just wake me up when we get there.
I'm tired anyways.
Tim"s Dad is looking very confused


                       TIM'S DAD
Son,I think we really are lost.
See I told you dad that you should
of let me did the driving.
                       TIM'S DAD
Just hold your horses son. I think
I see something in the cut.
A lot of buildings is shown in the distance.
Tim pulls out his catalog brochure. On the brochure we see
beautiful looking people enjoying college life.
      (squinting his
       eyes to see)
It's it's--- no way is that
Radiford University. It can't be.
I don't even see a sign or
anything and the catalog.The
catalog had a picture of a
beautiful campus surrounded by
women and flowers.
A bunch of old buildings and an old sign covered with dirt
that says "Welcome to Radiford University--A Changing
University for a diverse group of students"
                       TIM'S DAD
      (Reading the sign)
It say, Welcome to Radiford
University. Yeah I think this is
your school for the next four
My home. My. Home. Dad I think I
want to go back to my real home
right about now. This isn't no
college, this is the university
where the buffalo roams.


                       TIM'S DAD
Well who cares how the place look.
You are here to get an education
and make the family proud.
      (looks at his dad
                       TIM'S DAD
Well all we got to do now is find
out what dorm you stay in and you
will be good to go.
Tim pulls out a piece of paper that tells him what dorm he
stays in. He looks around the college until he sees a sign
that says Pelham Hall.After arriving at Pelham Hall Tim and
his dad are greeted by a short, fat resident assistant(RA)
with a loud voice.
                       COACH P
      (looking at his
Hi gentlemen. I am the R.A. here
and my name is Coach Pain. Can I
have your name please?
Yeah my name is Tim Turner and I
would like a room by myself or
with a lovely young lady.
Coach Pain gets out his booklet and finds Tim Turners name
                       COACH P
      (ignoring Tim
Follow me.
The dorms are very old. Roaches, chewing gum and ants are
scattered throughout the building.
Oh my- These dorms are worse than
I thought they were. Is all the
other dorms this crappy Mr? I paid
too much money to stay in
something like this.


                       TIM'S DAD
Really, I didn't know that cause I
could of sworn I paid for
everything. Maybe it's just me,
but I don't recall you paying for
                       COACH P
You actually shouldn't feel bad
because all male freshmen have to
stay here.After you get adjusted
to staying here, they want be so
                       TIM'S DAD
Son stop whining. You a young man
now and it's time to start acting
like one.
Tim's dorm room is very small with one window. A few of the
dressers are missing and there is a big hole in the wall.All
three of the men barely fit into the room.
      (Looking at his
       new room)
I guess it want be so bad after
all. Even though the dorms are old
and crappy at least I get a room
by myself- I know I don't have to
share this little space do I?
                       COACH P
I'm afraid you will have a
roommate and unfortunate these
dorms aren't coed.
                       TIM'S DAD
I got to go, but enjoy. And be
sure to call me whenever you can.
And hey who knows, you and your
roommate might end up being best
friends for life.
Coach Pain gives Tim a sheet to sign indicating the damage
that is already done. After signing the sheet Tim begins
putting up his posters and certificates.
Tim's roommate knocks at the door.


Come in.
                       COACH P
Tim, I would like for you to meet
your new roomate.
Tim O'Neil(referred to as roommate) enters with his mom and
Coach Pain.Roommate is wearing bright colors and he is
giving the impression that he is gay. Roommate is carrying
many suitcases.
      (Talking with his
       hands on his hips)
Who is he? Tim O'Neil isn't going
to share a room with another
person. Oh no I want. And look at
the way he decorated the room.
Somebody better fix this situation
and fix it now.
I'm sorry if I offended you. My
name Tim, whats yours?
Tim puts his hand out anticipating a handshake from
      (looking at his
I know he didn't. I know he don't
got my name. Out of all the names
in the world, I know his name
ain't Tim.
                       ROOMATE MOM
Pookey that wasn't nice. Apologize
to Tim.
Sorry fake Tim. But mom you can't
blame me for being upset on the
way he decorated the room. There
isn't any space for my spice girl
Tim is starring in disbelief at his roommate.
Well I can just take some of my
designs down.


                       ROOMATE MOM
Thank you so much. I know that my
Pookey can be real demanding at
                       COACH P
Well guys.I hope you all work out
your differences. The beauty of
going to college is learning how
to work with other people.
After everybody leaves the room to go get more of roommate's
luggage, Tim is alone in the room lying on his bed.
      (Talking to
What the world have I gotten
myself into? The dorms are old. My
roommate is freaking gay. How I'm
going to have fun in conditions
like this?
We see Tim and many other students nervously walking to
class for the first day of school.
      (Screaming from a
Tim Turner, Mr. Tim Turner I know
you hear me calling you!
Ray is wearing designer clothes with a hat and sunglasses.
He is is chewing gum and trying to be hip.Tim looks Ray's
direction one time, then he looks again to make sure the
person is actually Ray.
Ray! Ray! Is that you? I didn't
know you was coming here. You up
here trying to look all hip and
cool aren't you? Whats with the
new look man?
Tim runs to give Ray a hug, but Ray puts his out for a
handshake instead.


Hey it's the new me. Those high
school days are behind now. It's
time for me to come out my shell
and look the New Ray take over.
I sure hope that I'm still the new
Ray's best friend.
Always.I'm going to go the gym and
lift some weights and then I'm
going to scope out all the women
who goes to this raggedy old
Thats a bet.
There are a bunch of jocks hanging together.
      (pointing at the
Okay kid there are a few things we
need to do in order to fit in. We
need to get you a girlfriend. Hang
with those guys over there and
join the football team so that we
can get invited to some parties.
When did you become an expert on
I told you I want fame and more
fame.I got three books right here
that tells you all you need to
know about fitting in in college.
Ray pulls out his three books from his book-bag. The book
titles are, " How to be cool in College," How to throw the
best Parties" " How to Rob a bank and get away with it"


      (Grabs the books
       and reads their
Let me see those books -How to rob
a bank and get away with it.
Um give me that book back. Act
like you never saw this book.
I told you before we came here
that you need to focus on school
and forget about all them other
motives you got going through your
brain out.
Kid there is no need for your
smart comments. This is serious
I stay in the new suites. Meet me
there tonight at nine.
No you don't. Coach Pain told me
that all male freshmen must stay
in Pelham Hall.
Hey kid do you know who I am? I'm
not on the same level as the other
freshmen are. I'm above them. You
got me -I'm above you and the rest
of the freshmen.
Roommate is in the room on the bed. The T.V. channel is on
TLC a Baby Story. Roommate has now decorated the room with
his style. The room is loaded with spice girl posters and it
has a feminine style to it.
Man what did you do to my room!


      (looking at T.V.)
Um Um, I remember paying the same
amount of money you paid for the
But dude you got spice girls
poster all over the room. Do you
know how gay that is- and you
looking at a baby story on TLC?
      (putting his hands
       on his hips)
If you got a problem with anything
I do you are free to pack your
things and leave?
You know what, I'm reporting you
to Coach Payne for being- being-
I'm just going to report you.
Tim exits the room and returns with Coach Pain.
                       COACH P
What seem to be the problem?
Look at my room and then tell me
that you can't see a problem with
Coach Pain glances around the room and snickers slightly.
                       COACH P
Gentlemen it is imperative that
the two of you work together. One
half of the room should consist of
your belongings and the other half
should consist of his.
That's fine with me, but I'm still
keeping my posters up.
      (mumbling under
       his breath)
I bet I take all those gay posters
down. My name isn't Tim Turner if
I don't take those posters down.


                       COACH P
I tell you what I'll do. We have a
dorm meeting tomorrow. And after
the dorm meeting I will see if
there are any rooms left so that I
can remove one of you guys out.
Well in the meantime while you
looking for him a new room, I will
still keep my posters up.
                       COACH P
      (talking on his
       walkie talkie)
Ten four. I'm on my way. Guys they
need me downstairs. I'll address
this situation at the dorm
See chump. I told you I wasn't
taking down my posters.
      (takes a deep
Tim is looking at how nice the new suites are.The new suites
are the only new buildings on campus. Girls and boys both
stay in the new suites.
Kid it's about time you showed up.
I got into a mini altercation with
my roommate and I think something
is seriously wrong with him if you
know what I mean.
You what? It doesn't matter lets
handle business. Lets go inside.
The new suites lobby is a big open area with couches in
them. The lobby has a computer lab nearby and it is full of


      (looking like he
       just saw heaven)
Man this is heaven on earth.These
are the only buildings on campus
that don't look ancient.Man you
are the luckiest freshmen in
Kid act like you got some sense. I
mean these dorms are alright. I
have been doing a lot of
observing. I decided you and that
girl over there will make a good
couple. She's cute and she has a
nice personality. And another
bonus is that she has a car!
How do you know all that from one
Do you know who I am Kid?
Now I want you to walk over there
where she at and ask her how she
doing. Tell her that you are
majoring in early childhood
education and that you like her
But I'm not majoring in early
Just listen to me.I know more
about women do you.Besides girls
always dig guys who are going to
college to be a teacher.
Tim walks over to Leah. Leah is in the lobby sitting down,
She is an average female. Tim is unaware that her boyfriend
is in the background watching her.


      (walking over to
Hi how you doing? My name is Tim
and I'm a freshman here. I'm
majoring in early childhood
education and um, um, yeah I like
your shoes.
Flem and his buddies are listening to Tim hit on Ray's
girlfriend.. Flem is a jock that has an athletic build.He is
the star football player and he has a swagger attitude that
other people envy.
      (cracking his
I don't believe that she is
wearing shoes. I think she is
wearing sandals. Listen she is
already spoken for, so why don't
you leave now why you can still
walk on your own.
Tim leaves quickly and goes back where Ray is at. Ray is
giggling slightly at Tim.
Man that's the last time I listen
to you.
Hey chill out. I had your back. He
was full of talk anyways. Besides
there are plenty of other fishes
in the sea.
The lunchroom is full of students.There are more females
than male present.
      (sitting down
Okay pal I'm going to need you to
try to eat a little faster.


Because there are too many women
in here. There isn't no way that
all these women are in a
Flem walks by and bump Tim as he is eating.
Thanks to you, I already got a
bully after two days.
Screw him. Okay now do you see
that girl over there with the gay
That gay guy is my roomate.
Kid tell me you joking.
I promise.
Well in any event- I want you to
look at the girl who he is with.
She is very beautiful. And if
she's hanging with your roommate,
then she can't be too hard to
pull. Go introduce yourself to
What am I supposed to tell her?
The same thing you told the last
girl.Ask her how she is doing.
Tell her that you is majoring in
early childhood education and that
you like her shoes.
Tim walks two tables away to the table where his roommate
and Kayla is. Kayla is a two faced individual. She is
wearing a dress and some high heels.


      (walking to the
Hia my name is-
Fake Tim what are you doing over
here at my table. Kayla this is
the guy who I was telling you
about who tried to remove my spice
girl posters.
      (whispering to
You was right. He really can't
You know what I'm sorry I even
came over here.
Tim walks back to his table.
Man you were hilarious.
I don't see you doing any better.
You know what man maybe this whole
scheme was a bad idea from the
Fine, but let me tell you
something kid- when I'm getting
invited to all the parties and all
the other gigs and you aren't,
just don't get mad about it.
      (Biting his lip)
Man I'm about to blow up right
I'm going to assume you finally
see things my way.


All the guys are gathered in the lobby area. Many of them
are wearing their pajamas.
                       COACH P
OK guys I will like to start this
meeting off by saying that I
welcome each and all of you to
Radiford University.
As soon as the meeting starts roommate walks in late.
      (Walking in late)
Sorry I'm late everybody, but my
friend had a mini crisis.
                       COACH P
The young man who just came in
late please come forward.
      (walking forward.)
Here I am.
                       COACH P
Young man you the only person who
showed up late. You better have a
good execuse.
I do have one. My friend had on a
hundred dollar dress with some
ugly shoes. We went all over the
city looking for her some heels.
Everyone starts laughing. Coach Pain stares confused at
                       COACH P
Young man I'm sorry but that
excuse want cut it. I'm going to
have to fine you for being late.
I bet I want pay it.
Coach Pain he said he's not going
to pay it.


                       COACH P
Oh he will. Trust me on that. Now
back to business. Guys I hope you
all enjoy the semester and please
try hard to keep the place clean.
Unfortunately I am the only R.A
here also so we all need to work
together.If no one has any
questions you can consider
yourselves dismissed.
After the dismissal Roommate and Tim remains in the lobby.
      (talking to Tim)
You better talk to Coach Pain
about getting you a new roommate
because you aren't staying in my
room tonight.
Coach Pain did you find me a new
                       COACH P
Sorry son. All the rooms were
booked. My best advice to you is
to try to make it work.
Tim goes to the new suites and heads to Ray Room. Ray is
getting his clothes out for tomorrow.
      (Knocks on Ray
      (opening the door)
Man what you want? It's late.
I want to move in with you. My
roomate said I couldn't come back.
Let me get this straight. You
telling me that your supposedly
gay roommate said that you
couldn't come in your own room?


      (Laughing harder)
This is hilarious! No way you're
staying with me kid. I will go to
your dorm and help you get in your
room. Give me your key.
RAY BANGS on the door before opening it. Roommate is in the
room clipping his toenails.
Alright gay guy here is the deal.
My buddy here paid the same amount
of money you paid for this crappy
room and it is just as much his as
it is your. You got that?
Um excuse me, but who you suppose
to be? You work with the campus
police or something?
      (walking close to
       roommate as he
Are you getting smart with me gay
man? I don't think you know who
you direspecting. If I were you --
      (Somewhat scared)
Well I didn't mean any harm. You
know at times I may act a little
spoiled because I'm the only kid
at home.
Save the stories for the Maury
Show kid. I'm just here to make
sure everything works out smooth.
We will work everything out and I
promise you there want be any more


Well thanks Ray. I'll call you if
I need you again.
The teacher has a name tag on her shirt that says ,Mrs.
Williams Freshmen Experience 1101.The teacher is an old
woman with thick glasses.
Okay class today in I want
everybody to tell me why they
chose to come to college. We will
start with Mr. Turner.
Well professor teacher my reason
is quite simple. I came to better
myself at this prestigious
university. I wanted to conquer
challenges and obstacles. I wanted
to be the best I can be.
Okay Mr.Turner. You probably
should of considered the Army
also. Raymondo what made you
decide to come to college?
College is the time in a boys life
when he transform into a man. I
mean if I had known the school
looked this old and raggedy I
probably wouldn't came but old
lady I came to set my mark.
A lot of the students giggles slightly.
It's comments like those that make
me wonder are our admissions
standards up to par.Okay class I
want everyone to read chapter two
of the text book and young man I
need you to stay after class.
Everyone exits the class except Ray and the Teacher.


Young man I can tell from your
demeanor that you have lack of
respect for authority and you have
a poor attitude. And I'm here to
warn you that I want accept it
Well mam I guess I'm going to be
here a long time then.
      (She is clearly
Raymondo I think I'm going to look
up your records and see can I
reach your mother or father. I'm
quite sure they paid a lot of
their hard earned money for you to
come here.
      (Shrugs his
       shoulders and
After the confrontation with the teacher Ray goes outside
where Tim is waiting for him.
What happened man? Why did you
stay after class with that old
She was upset about the comments I
made. She is claiming that she is
going to report my behavior to my
She just trying to scare you.
Teachers don't call students
parents when you are in college.
Tim is in the community bathroom shower singing. The janitor
is on the other side of the bathroom.


      (singing while in
       the shower)
The janitor finishes the song that Tim is singing. The
janitor voice is AMAZING! Tim cuts the shower off just to
hear the janitor sing.
      (Talking to
Is that the janitor sounding that
good? Got to be cause me and him
is the only ones in here.
      (quickly exits the
Oh my God! Man you sounded
awesome. How about performing at
at the um, um ,um, my party I'm
You talking to me?
Yeah man. I think you is the best
singer I ever heard in my entire
life. What, you don't get told
that often?
I really do appreciate the
compliments man. When are you
having the party.
Well I will get back at you and
inform you of the details.
      (while he walking
OK just let me know what I can do
to help.
Mr. Janitor one more thing. Lets
keep this party on the down low
for the time being.


Ray and Tim are out looking at the same jocks they were
looking at last time. The jocks are all gathered in front of
the school building socializing.
      (eating his chips
       while he talk)
Okay kid you was unable to get a
girlfriend- but don't worry cause
there is still hope for you.
What do you mean?
See those guys over there. In
order for you to have a chance at
being cool you got to get in good
with those guys.
NO WAY! You fooled me last time
but there is no way you gonna have
me looking stupid. Nope sorry
      (counting on his
Let me see how many strikes you
have. First you couldn't pull a
girlfriend, second you have a gay
roommate and worse of all you
haven't got invited to any party
yet. If I were you I'll be doing
all I can to upgrade my status.
Here is the deal. If I go over
there and talk, then you must let
me find you a girl to talk to.
Fair enough. Okay go over there
and tell those guys that you use
to be in a gang in high school.
Also tell them that you was
arrested before you was even


But I never was in a gang and I
nver been arrested.
Kid do you want college to be a
repeat of high school?
      (walks to the cool
Whats up cool guys I'm Tim. I use
to be in a gang in high school and
I was even arrested before I was
There is a brief moment of silence before Legs speak. Legs
is medium size guy who tries to fit in himself. He is a
Man whats your classification?
Awe Freshmen sophomore junior or
senior what difference does it
make? We all here to party and get
women right?
Flem walks on the scene while Tim is talking.
Fellows Fellows whats going on?
      (pointing at Tim)
Check this out man. This guy says
that he was in a gang in high
school and that he was arrested
before he was sixteen!
Wait a second. I know that little
munchkin from somewhere. He is the
-- the-- guy who tried to hit on
my girlfriend.
      (laughing scared)
Ah no way. You got me mixed up
with somebody else. At this school
everybody look alike.


I thought I told you to get lost.
And I was just leaving as you was
coming. See you guys later.
Tim hurries back over to Ray direction. Ray is laughing
You did it again.You didn't finish
the task at hand.
      (Putting his hands
       on Ray shoulders)
Well at least I tried- But good
news my friend now it's your time
to be tortured. I'm going to go
find you a girlfriend. Yes this is
sure going to be fun.
Ray is BANGING on Tim's door. After he enters we can see
Roommate in the room looking at Passions.
Um, I sorry but your friend is in
Hold on Hold on. I came here to
talk to you.
Me- uh what do you want with me?
My stories are on.
Hey listen gay man, I need you to
hook me up with one of your
friends. I know you be hanging
around a lot of good looking
Hold up Hold up! Isn't you the
same guy who tried to bully me the
other day. And now you asking me
for my help.


      (Gets out his
I'm not asking for your help, I'm
telling you that you're gonna help
me. You got that?
Listen I can't make my friends
like you. And plus most of them
got boyfriends anyways. Sorry.
Ray jacks roommate up and push him against the wall.
You will do as I tell you. You got
that partner?
      (breathing hard
       and talking fast)
Sure I got you, but can you let me
Ray slowly takes his hand off Roommate.
Don't take me a joke. You better
hook me up with your best looking
female friend and you better hope
she likes me.
Ray gives Roommate a cold hard stare before he exits the
After Ray leaves Roommate start talking to himself.
Shoot who he think he is? It aint
my fault his ugly behind can't get
no girlfriend.
Roommate gets out his cell phone and start scrolling down
the list in his address book.
I'll see that I'll just have to
teach Mr. Tough guy a lesson.


Class has just ended and many students are present in the
Let me see here. There are so many
girls around here until I don't
know who I should hook you up
Sorry kid but I'm afraid you want
be able to hook me up with
Oh No we had a deal.
And I respect it- but I already
got a girlfriend.
Ray you must think I'm crazy? You
was just single yesterday?
Circumstances caused my situation
to change. I will let you meet my
girl later on.
Nope Ray you gots to do better
than that. I want to see her right
      (Talking loudly)
Man I said I got somebody. Now
I'll let you meet her later, You
got that?
Both guys exit. Tim shakes his head and murmurs to himself
as he walks off
Ray comes to Tim room wearing a baseball hat with some
shades on. Ray doesn't knock. Ray enters and Roommate is on
the bed reading a novel.


      (giving Ray a
       disturbed look)
Um, Um, I don't believe I said
that you can come in.
I don't believe in Santa Clause,
so now we are even- we both got
something we don't beleive in.
What do you want, cause I am
trying to read my novel for class.
Ray grabs the novel and reads the title out loud.
A Day No Pigs would Die. If you
haven't did what I ask you to do,
Pigs are gonna be the least of
your worries.
Ray draws near to Roommate
Yeah of course I did what you
asked of me. As a matter of fact
my home girl Karen is on her way
to meet you right now.
Where I'm supposed to meet her at?
Just go out in front of the dorms.
She should be there shortly, but
you know how slow women are.
Ray cracks a smile and leaves. After Ray leaves, Roommate
calls Karen up immediately.
      (on the other end
       of the phone)
      (talking fast and
       breathing hard.)
Karen this me Tim O'Neil. I'm in
big trouble and I need your help.


You OK? You talking like you
scared. What you need me to do?
Come to Pelham Hall right now! I
have a guy who is going to pound
me if I don't hook him up with one
of my friends. Please come now.
So you chose to hook him up with
me huh? And you didn't ask my
If you just show up, I promise
I'll do anything you want.
Anything. Just show up and act
like you like him.
I'm not doing anything so I guess
I can show up. However, I think we
ought to teach mr. um
Mr. Ray. His name is Ray.
I think we ought to teach Mr. Ray
a lesson.
Ray is in front of Pelham Hall walking back and forth.
Hia Ray baby, How are you doing?
Ray takes a long hard look at Karen and his mouth drops. She
is wearing a pink flower dress. She has all her hair hanging
and she has a bag full of clothes in her hand.
Hi how you doing baby? I'm Ray,
but you can call me anything or do
anything to me that would like.
Karen walks up to Ray and removes his sunglasses.


Hercules I want to see your
beautiful eyez.
After Karen removes Ray she looks at him and then blows in
his ear.
I like you already- whats your
Most people call me Karen, but you
can just call me cream.
Oh yes yes yes yes,-- I hit the
Some residents who stay in Pelham Hall walks by and gives
Ray a crazy look.
I'm sure glad that my friend
decided to hook us up. Oh my-- I
am in trouble!
You alright?
No I'm not. My friend was suppose
to put these clothes on that I
have in this bag. She was supposed
to let me take her picture with
them and oh I don't know what to
Do you want me to find you
somebody else to take the
Oh thank you Ray. Would you go and
put these clothes on and let me
take your picture in them. No one
will see you. Will you please do
it for me your new girlfriend?
My new girlfriend- My new
girlfriend- Sure I'll do it.


Karen embrace Ray with a hug and they depart to an isolated
place on campus to take the pictures.
A group of guys are in the computer lab laughing at a
picture that is posted on the school website. Tim hears a
lot of laughing so he goes in the computer lab. He is at
first unaware that they are laughing at Ray.
Whats so funny guys?
                       COACH P
Somebody done posted some rather
odd pictures of themselves on the
      (Looking at the
       CPU monitor)
Oh my God- thats RAY!
                       COACH P
Do you know the guy?
Tim quickly leaves and goes to Ray's Room
TIM KNOCKS furiously on the door.
Whoever you are go away. I'm a
busy man and I need my sleep so
that I can make it through the
      (Talking through
       the door)
Ray it's me Tim.I want you to
listen closely to me.Somebody done
put some pictures of you modeling
in female clothing. I don't know
whats going on, but I know that
your face is on the pictures.
Ray lets Tim in and gives him a confused look.


Impossible.The only pictures I
took where with-- My girlfriend
must of did it.
Ray you don't have a girlfriend.
Hush- I need to think why she did
what she did. I know why, I didn't
call her so she got mad at me.
      (tearing up)
If I were you, I wouldn't show my
face on campus no time soon.
And if I were you, I'll donate my
face to the San Francisco zoo.
Well you get smart with me all you
want too, I did my part, I told
you the news.
Tim exits the room.
Tim and Ray have just left class. Ray shows Tim a sign for
football tryouts. The sign reads that tryouts will be held
on August 15th. The time is at 4 p.m.
      (reading the sign)
Yes, Football. It is the sport
that every man must do to prove
      (also reading the
Ray we don't know anything about
football. We will get killed
playing college football.
      (holding the pen)
Correction, you don't know
anything about football. I wanted
to play football in high school. I


                       RAY (cont'd)
would love to have the chance to
run somebody over. Think about it,
you can knock a person out and
don't get in trouble for it.
Ray you never played football a
day in your life. Your skinny tail
couldn't played midget league
Kid I don't like your tone of
voice toward me. I play whatever I
like- You got that? Don't tell me
what I can and can't do.
Tim approaches Ray as if he wants to fight him.
Whats with you man? You supposed
to be a tough guy all of a sudden.
You forgot one thing, I know your
skinny behind can't fight so don't
try to act like you can.
Ray pushes Tim against the wall. Some of the fellow students
are looking on and watching.
You better not ever talk to me
like that again. I will--
A over-sized football player approaches the guys
You two losers need to move out my
way and let me sign the got darn
      (talking to Tim)
Who he talking too. I know he
ain't disrespecting me like that.
I know he aint.
The football player signs his name and then approaches the
I will see you guys at tryouts.


After speaking with the guys he push both of them out his
way and then goes to class
I will sign your name and my name.
Both of us together can take out
that jerk.
You don't speak for me, I told you
that one time.
Ray nods his head before signing his name as well as Tim
All the guys are in a circle on the football field. Coach
Pain is in the middle of the huddle talking.
                       COACH P
      (blows the whistle)
                       COACH P
Welcome to tryouts young men. I'm
impressed to see so many guys
trying out. Here at Radiford
University we take pride in our
football team. Last year we only
lost two games. This year we hope
to better that mark.
All the guys start hollering and getting pumped up.
                       COACH P
After I call your name please go
get in line and my assistant will
get you suited up. Okay- Tim
That will be me coach.
All the guys start laughing.
      (Talking loudly to
Why is he here, this isn't
cheerleader tryouts, this is
football tryouts. Men play
football. I'm a man and I play


                       RAY (cont'd)
I'm not scared of anything or
anybody but God. I bet I will make
the team before you will.
                       COACH P
Nothing like a little bit of
friendly competition on the first
day of practice.
Everybody start chanting and hollering.
Okay Okay I'll try it until Kayla
get here, but I still didn't sign
up for this mess.
Now all the young men are suited in their equipment.Tim and
Ray gives each other chest-bumps. Roommate is trying to get
some of the dirt off of his cleats. Coach Pain is in the
midst giving out instructions.
                       COACH P
Okay young men. The first drill we
are going to do is the forty yard
dash. Speed is something that you
can't coach. Last year we led the
conference with the most yards
from special teams. The reason why
we was able to accomplish that is
because of our speed.
Flem gets the guys going.
Lets go guys! Lets go!
      (pointing at Flem)
Ray look who is here.
Ah he's a nobody. I'll run him
over too.
                       COACH P
Tim O'Neil you are first.
      (gets in position)


                       COACH P
When I blow this whistle young man
I want you to run to the white
                       COACH P
      (blows the whistle)
      (Runs in a funny
       way but very fast)
After roommate race is over there is a stunned look on
everybody face. (especially Coach Pain)
GOOD GRACIOUS! I didn't know he
can run like that.
You have got to be kidding me.
                       COACH P
You ran a four-five. I'm
impressed. Next.
Tim now gets in his stance and get prepared to run.
                       COACH P
When I blow the whistle I want you
to run as fast as you can to the
white line
      (gets even lower
       in his stance)
                       COACH P
      (blows the whistle)
      (After his first
       three steps he
       trips and falls)
                       COACH P
      (Jogs through and


                       COACH P
You ran a five-nine. Next.
After Tim is finish running Flem snickers at him when he
walks by. Ray is the next one in line getting ready to run.
                       COACH P
You know the drill son!
                       COACH P
      (blows the whistle)
      (breaths hard and
       run slow)
                       COACH P
Son you ran a five flat.
Is that good or bad?
Coach Pain acts like he didn't hear the question.
I was running that speed in
elementary school. Man why did you
even tryout?
                       COACH P
It's now time for a tackling
drill.Tackling is an important
part of a football game. Flem I
want you to put everybody in
groups of twos.
      (whispering to Tim)
Me and you are going to be
      (swallows hard)
Hey Flem buddy- I want you to put
me in a group with my homeboy
right here.
      (talking to Ray)
Forget it. He is in the group with
me. You can be in the group with


                       FLEM (cont'd)
that gay dude over there.
                       COACH P
Young men this drill is very easy
to do. All you have to do is run
between the two cones and your
partner will be at the end of
those cones waiting to tackle you.
I'm looking for guys to make
strong tackles.
                       COACH P
Well Tim O'neal why don't you and
your partner get us started.
Buddy I'll do the tackling
                       COACH P
At the sound of this whistle I
want you to run between the cones
and I want your partner to make a
good tackle.
                       COACH P
      (Blows the whistle)
      (runs between the
       cones and runs
       Ray over)
                       COACH P
You got to make the tackle young
man- Tim that was a hell of a run.
You protected the ball and you
made him feel the pain. I like
what I see.
Man you gonna get cut.
                       COACH P
Who is next?
I will go next.
      (tries to hide
       behind Ray)


                       COACH P
Flem where is your partner?
Tim ducks behind Ray.
Ray don't move.
Sorry he already done spotted you.
      (Grabs Tim by the
Our turn and I'm doing the
                       COACH P
Okay guys on the whistle.
                       COACH P
      (blows the whistle)
Tim fakes like he is going to run in between the cones and
then he runs outside of them. He runs all the way to the
locker room. All the guys start laughing. Flem chases him to
the locker room.
                       COACH P
Flem come back here!
Flem comes back to the field and is mad that he didn't get
to hit somebody. Ray leaves to go join Flem.
      (taking off his
Clearly this isn't for me. I have
enough of this crap. I'm just
done. You can do what you want
too, but I'm finish with this
whole football deal.
I never thought I would ever say
this, but I think that you're
right kid.
                       COACH P
You two young men have exactly One
minuet to get back here.


Sorry Coach but we got a group
meeting at the library today.
Where do we go from here?
I wish I had an answer for you kid
but I don't.
Before the class is over I would
like to read a quote for today.
The quote is that if you don't
hear opportunity knocking on one
door than find another one.
After reading the quote the teachers dismiss the students.
Tim and Ray goes outside the class to talk. Their brief
conversation is interrupted by Flem.
Hey guys I heard that coach is
plan on putting the roster up
later on today. I know you guys
are dying to know if you made it.
I thought this class was only for
freshmen. How are you still in
here? I know you didn't fail
freshmen experience last year or
did you?
      (stares Tim down)
      (talking while he
You better watch your back.
I bet Flem made the team.You know
he is star football player, he has
the girls, you know I don't like
that young man. His attitude is
that he is better than everybody


                       RAY (cont'd)
I don't. He think he is better
than everybody.
He is. He at least better than us.
Ray the semester isn't over yet.As
a matter of fact the semester is
really just getting started.And
don't forget that we still haven't
tried my idea out yet.
You have a plan? You actually have
a plan?
We tried your plans and they
didn't work now lets try my idea.
I'll tell you more about it at
The guys are in the lunchroom line. On the lunchroom wall
the football rosters are posted. A small group of people are
looking at the list.
Ray I think that the rosters are
posted. Do you want to leave now
before everyone comes over here
making fun of us?
      (in the lunch line)
Ah who cares what they think. We
just got here and we are going to
enjoy our food.
A cute girl by the name of Kayla walks up to the guys as
they are preparing to sit down.
Congratulations I heard that you
all made the team.


      (looking back)
The only team I care about making
is yours baby.
      (putting her hand
       on Ray's
Well I guess I'll see you guys
when the season start.
The season just started now, Come
here baby!
Kayla exits and Ray goes behind her. After Ray comes back on
the scene he is very very happy.
Did you hear her man? I made the
football team. I made the football
team! How cool is that. Kid do you
know what that mean? Do you have a
Ray if we did make it we still
want get any playing time.
Kid don't ever underestimate me.
My whole family is good at sports.
My dad played pro basketball for
the Lakers and my old man got
medals all around the house.
And I'm guessing your grandma was
a professional gymanast.
Ray hits Tim on the side of the mouth.
I told you about disrespecting me
didn't I? You will respect me or I
want hang around you kid.
Tim hits Ray again and the two guys end up fighting. Tim
picks up Ray and slam him. Ray is constantly hitting Tim
while he is trying to slam him. 2 staff members and a
student rush to the scene to break up the fight.


I'm gonna need both of you guys to
stay right here while I contact
Campus Police.
I'll kill you kid. You better not
ever disrespect me like that
You ain't no big shot man. You
can't fight.
Both guys attempt to fight again, but an officer rushes on
the scene.
I'm going to need both of you guys
to come with me to the campus
security office.
Both guys are in the office of campus security. There are
cameras everywhere and there are other campus security
officers present.
I would ask you guys who started
this fight, but I don't care about
that. All I want from you guys is
an ID card. You two guys are going
to spend the night in jail.
The guys give Joe their Id card and Joe goes in the back.
Now look what trouble you got us
in. My folks paid a lot of money
for me to come here and they ain't
gonna be happy--
      (Interrupting Tim)
Ah you big baby. You shouldn't
disrespected me. My momma don't
even talk to me like that kid, so
what makes you that you can?
Joe comes back to where the guys are.


OK gentlemen, I got the city
police coming to take you guys
off. Both of you guys know that
fighting isn't tolerated in
You know me and this guy are both
on the football team. Coach just
told us that we are supposed to be
starting for the big rivalry game
against Georgia. So if we can't
play then there is a chance that
the football team would be at a
Tim hits Ray slightly on the side.
      (whispering to Ray)
What are you doing?
You guys are two star football
players huh? What position do you
all play?
Well Tim plays on special teams
and I play quarterback and I help
design the plays.
As Ray is talking, him and Tim are carried off to a holding
center by the city police.
Both residents are in a holding cell together.
Man what are we doing in here?
I don't know. We went from being
nobody to complete losers. Kid
college wasn't supposed to turn
out like this.


You know I had ideas of throwing a
party. What do you think of the
If we ever do get out, we will be
a team. Nobody has to know that we
were put here.Also we can throw a
big party right before the big
Both guys shake their head in agreement. The next day the
officers open the door and let the guys out, and gives them
a court date.
Coach Pain is in his office looking at the Beauty of the
Week in the Jet Magazine. He quickly removes the magazine
when Flem enters his office and he tries to give a serious
                       COACH P
Flem my star player. What can I do
for you?
Coach I was looking at the list
and I noticed that we have two
freshmen on the red-shirt
team.Coach we can't have those two
guys on our team. They walked out
on us during tryouts.
                       COACH P
You are not questioning my
judgement are you?
      (faking it)
No Sir. You know I would never do
that- not in a million years
                       COACH P
Well good.I have so many talented
athletes this year and I think
that if they are given the chance
to practice everyday that they
will probably be able to make our
team look bigger. Son there is
strength in numbers.


Will they travel with the team?
                       COACH P
Of course not. Their job will
simply be to practice with the
team and that is it.During media
day I want the press to think that
we are deeper than we really look.
I'm confused. How can two extra
guys make the team look bigger?
                       COACH P
Son you will see what I mean
Flem gives Coach Pain a confused look before exiting. After
Flem exits Coach Pain pulls his Jet Magazine back out.
All the guys are already suited up for practice when Tim and
Ray arrive. Tim and Ray arrives fifteen minuets late wearing
red t-shirts.
Man I wonder why we are the only
two guys who have to red-shirt
this year?
Who cares man? We are better than
them losers. Man we are going to
get invited to all the parties. We
are going to have so much fun on
game day.
I finally feel like I done
accomplished something.
Ray sees Flem by himself.
      (walking up to
You didn't think we were going to
make the team did you? We are on
the red-shirt freshmen team. Top


Do you losers even know what the
redshirt team means?
Of course we know what it means.
Why do you think we are wearing
red shirts to practice.
Flem gathers everybody up.
      (laughing louder)
These two nerds here think that
just because they are red-shirt
freshmen that they have to wear a
red shirt to practice.
All the guys as well as Coach Pain starts laughing.
                       COACH P
      (still laughing)
Okay guys everyone gather up.
Ray tell me what is so funny.
      (talking slowly)
I-- think that they are all
laughing at us.
                       COACH P
Okay gentlemen. First of all I
want to think everyone for showing
up. Well I see everybody except
Tim O'Neil- but he stays in my
resident hall so I will have a
talk with him.
The guys murmur about who is Tim O'Neil.
      (pointing at Ray)
He is the guy who ran that guy
                       COACH P
As everyone can see I decided to
keep everyone on the football
team. I even decided to keep the
two guys who walked out on me. I
got two guys red shirting this


                       COACH P (cont'd)
year. Can anybody guess who they
All the guys start laughing again.
                       COACH P
I'm sorry guys but I had to get a
joke in. Well everybody go to the
locker room and get suited up
because the local media is coming.
Everybody goes to the locker room.Coach Pain stop Ray and
Tim from going.
                       COACH P
      (trying not to
       look at them)
Young men do either of you know
what a red-shirt freshmen really
Well I thought I knew
                       COACH P
You see a red-shirt freshmen is
guy who is on the team but they
don't really you know-
They don't do what
                       COACH P
Reporter over here- Guys we will
finish this discussion later. In
the meantime why don't you guys go
get suited up for practice.
Man I knew it was a bad idea when
we showed up. I'm not going to go
get suited up, I'm going to go
back to my room.
Wait a second. He said that a news
person was coming today. You know
what that means kid?
No and I don't care about another
one of your great ideas.


We got the chance to be on
T.V.Most people go their entire
life and they aren't on
television. Kid this is our big
break. Look at this way, we both
going to quit the team-So what can
coach Pain do to us.
I - actually like the idea. Lets
go get dressed.
The guys goes to the locker room and get suited up. After
they finish suiting up they can see that the news people
have already started interviewing Coach Pain.
Coach how is the team looking this
year and what can the fans expect
to see?
                       COACH P
Well you know I think this team is
deeper than last year team. We
have more people and I think we
can actually be better than last
year team.
What guys in specific do you think
will play a major role this year?
                       COACH P
Flem will be back at quarterback
this year. We have a lot of
freshman who should come in and
compete for playing time right
away due to their speed. You know
I just think God for the
opportunity to coach such a
talented group of young men. My
job is really the easy part. All I
have to do is just put it all
Well as you can see expectations
are high again for the Radiford
State University Panthers.
The news lady stays in a distance and watch the guys as they
begin to exercise. Tim and Ray are at the end of the line.


After Ray checks to make sure no one is watching, he goes in
the news lady direction and then he motions for Tim to
follow him.
Hey reporter over here.
Why aren't you guys at practice?
Don't worry about that. We have a
breaking story that we think you
need to know about.
Jack- get the camera rolling on
these guys.
Well Hi everybody. My name is Ray
Morgan. The first thing that you
guys should know about the
football team is that the
quarterback Flem has a very low
GPA. He is still taking freshmen
classes. Also Coach Pain is
retiring after this season.
Jack make sure you are getting
this. Keep talking.
Rumor has it that there is a gay
guy on the team. Also ladies I am
single and available.
I would just like to inform
everybody that I am going to have
a party in the very near future
and it's going to be the biggest
party ever. Only cool people will
be allowed.
Flem along with many other players and students are gathered
around looking at television in the new suites lobby.


      (ON T.V.)
Coming up in sports we will take a
look at the Radiford University
Ray we are going to be in big
trouble when they find out what we
did. I think we better go hide
before they get back from
Kid you are like the scariest
person I know. You fear every and
I'm going to go hide.
Tim goes to the bathroom and stand up on the camole.
They are back from commercial.
Everyone be quiet.
      (also shaking)
Kid where you at?
Ray goes in the bathroom and hides behind the door until Tim
tells him to stand on the toilet.Immediately after the
television report goes off Flem hollers!
Oh my God. I will kill those boys.
Where are they at now?
They were just here a moment ago.
Tim and Ray can hear everything in the bathroom. They
whisper to communicate among themselves.
      (Shaking furiously)
Ray I hear somebody talking about
killing another person!


Kid I don't see any real danger.
They will forget all about it
tomorrow. If you want me too, I
will even walk you back to your
I will like that.
The football players check the bathroom looking for Tim and
Ray. They check underneath the stalls, and in the showers.
After the football players finish checking the bathroom, Tim
and Ray run through the back door and go to the old dorms.
      (breathing hard)
I thought you said you wasn't
      (also breathing
I wasn't. I ran because you ran.
Coach Pain is standing in the front entrance of the old
dorms. He has an evil look on his face.
                       COACH P
       THE BOYS)
                       COACH P
      (Talking right in
       the guys face)
I want to see both of you guys
tomorrow at the practice field for
practice.And if you guys don't
show up you will be in so much
trouble til I will make it that
you guys don't attend another
university in your lifetime! Do I
make myself clear?
I clearly understand you doc.
I do too.
                       COACH P
Good. I will see you boys
tommorrow at four. Don't be late.


Ray and Tim are outside the main school building. A crowd of
students (including Leah and Kayla) is gathered around
them.Some of the students are even taking their pictures and
asking for their autographs.
I saw you guys on the news
Oh you know we were just joking
and kidding around.
                       STUDENT 1
Have you start giving out
invitations for the party yet?
Well you know--I just--
                       STUDENT 1
Well here is my number. Call me
when you get all the details
worked out.
                       STUDNET 2
You are the two guys that was on
the news last night. Can I have
you guys autograph?
Man I think we are celebrities.
We are not celebrities. We are
college students that will be
punished later on today for our
Kid we are actually popular. I'm
going to take advantage. We can
tell Coach Pain that we couldn't
make it to practice because we had
      (running up to the
Please don't tell my boyfriend,
but will you guys please invite me


                       LEAH (cont'd)
to you all party?
Of course we will,but you got to
give me some sugar first.
Ray puts his lips out in front of Leah's and close his
eyes.Leah rubs two fingers across his lips.She sees Flem
coming so she leaves quickly.
      (walking up behind
       the guys)
How are you doing funny guys? So
I'm not smart huh? Well you losers
are the ones not smart because I'm
about to pound both of you in the
Flem grabs both of them with each hand.
HELP! HELP! We are being robbed.
Ray's screaming causes more students and a teacher to come
on the scene.
Whats is going on here?
      (faking a cry)
This guy tried to rob us. We tried
to fight him off but he -
Flem I am disappointed in you.
Leave these young men alone. You
are twice these guys size. You
could of hurt them.
Ray winks his eye at Flem causing Flem to get even angrier.
Flem I suggest you walk away now
if you don't want me to report
this incident to campus police.


      (walks off slowly)
Are you guys alright?
Flem is in the midst of a conversation with Coach Pain.
Coach we have got to do something
about those two redshirt guys.
                       COACH P
I was intending on punishing them
at practice, but they were a no
Today I came and confronted them
and they started hollering at the
top of their lungs and they
claimed that I was robbing them.
                       COACH P
Well what do you want me to do
son. Hell I saw the comments they
made on the news. My job is in
jeopardy thanks to those young
I just don't want them to get away
with what they did.
                       COACH P
They want get away with it son.
They want get away with it.
      (exits the office
       while roommate is
Roommate enters wearing bright colors and a hat.
                       COACH P
You just the guy I been looking
for. Why haven't you been at
practice. You did make the team.


Coach I didn't come here to talk
about football. I came to tell you
that I think I'm going to have to
hurt my roomate and his friend.
                       COACH P
Do whatever you have too son. I'm
all for whatever you got in mind.
Coach Pain cracks his knuckles together and grins.
Tim is in his room with his roommate. His door is wide open.
Um I heard what you and your
friend said about me on the news.
I didn't say anything about
      (putting his hand
       in Tim face)
Boy I'm not scared of you or your
friend. I will kick both of y'all
The janitor overhears the altercation between the boys and
walks in the room.
      (walking in the
       room with his
Whats going on in here?
Um there isn't anything going on
that I can't handle.
Can you guys at least keep it down
      (leaves the room
       and start singing
       out loud)


I will talk about this tomorrow.
I'm going to sleep.
                       COACH P
      (Knocks on the
I'm trying to get some sleep. Come
back another time!
      (going to the door)
How do you know they want you? You
ain't the only person who stay
                       COACH P
      (looking at Tim)
Sorry to disturb you guys, but
this young man right here wasn't
at practice today.
Sorry Coach but I quit.
                       COACH P
I don't believe that I gave you a
choice. Young man there are
consequences for the choices that
people make. You made the wrong
choice. You lied on me and I don't
appreciate it. You tried to make
me loose my job and now I got the
athletic director harassing me.
Tim and Ray are sitting at the lunch table where the cool
people sit.
Ray, I think Coach Pain might be
trying to find a way to have us
removed from this university.
Who cares what he does. He is a
nobody to me.


He came to my room last night and
he said that actions speaks louder
than words.
Flem and two offensive lineman walks up behind the guys.
How are you guys doing?
We were doing fine until you came.
Shut up! My friends heard what you
said about them and they wasn't
Well you know we were just being
The two lineman put their hands on the guys shoulders.
How would you two guys like the
chance to come to our party? I
guarantee you guys will have a
blast if you came.
They don't care about you guys
stupid party. Guys why don't we
take these two losers out now why
we got the chance.
One of the offensive lineman is rubbing his chin and looking
Hey will you really invite us? I
always have loved parties.
Hey will you really invite us? I
always have loved parties.
Sure. As a matter of fact you guys
can be the security at the party.


      (hitting the guys
       on the head)
What are you guys doing? We are
supposed to pound these clowns.
Did you hear what they said about
us on the news?
      (getting up to
I gotta go, but I will let you
guys know the exact date as soon
as we get all the details figured
Flem scolds the offensive lineman as they exit.
Tim is in his room doing homework when his telephone rings.
                       TIM'S DAD
Son how you being doing?
I been doing fine dad.
                       TIM'S DAD
I got a phone call last night from
your school's president. And he
told me that the school is
considering removing you from the
Dad I can explain everything!
                       TIM'S DAD
No need to son. I am on my way. I
told them that you a good boy.You
ain't never gave me a bit of
trouble. Son I should be at the
school this weekend when I get off
from work.
Dad there really isn't no need to
I mean there-


                       TIM'S DAD
      (cutting him off)
Son I'm coming up there and that
is final. Now you just keep your
cool until this weekend comes.
After Tim gets off the phone with his dad he calls Ray.
      (picking up after
       five rings)
Ray my dad is on his way to the
school this weekend! Man if we are
going to have this party, then we
better act fast.
Kid you worry too much. Tomorrow
we will work everything out. We
got more than enough time to do
everything we need to.
Tomorrow is your answer to
everything. I don't think tomorrow
is the answer to this problem.
The guys are in Ray's room preparing the invitations for the
I will make the invitations.
I will be the DJ.
Those two offensive lineman can be
at the door.


Now where are we going to have the
party at?
Good question kid.
We can't have it in the new suites
because security is too uptight,
we can't have it in the buildings
becaue they lock them after nine.
      (with his eyes
       increasing in
Lets have the party at your dorms.
I will make a false letter that
will require Coach Pain to leave.
I don't know Ray. What if we get
We will cross that bridge when we
get there.
Impossible. We have too much to
do. We got to get the invitations
out, get setup and give Coach Pain
the bogus letter. We just got too
much to do in such a short time.
Kid you worry too much. Lets get
to work.
The teacher is at the chalkboard talking.When she looks back
she sees Tim and Ray passing out flyer's. She goes and gets
a flyer from Tim. Tim tries to hide the flyer under his
book, but she sees it and reads it out loud.
      (reading only some
       of the letter)
Let me read it out loud-The


                       TEACHER (cont'd)
biggest party ever, hosted by the
college most popular freshmen.Be
prepared to party all night long.
It should have read hosted by the
college most popular geeks.
Ah shut your pothole up Flem. You
just mad because you didn't get
Class that is enough.This isn't
high school.Tim I would advise you
to watch your actions in my class.
You are walking on a very thin
line on passing my class. I would
hate for you to start your
freshmen semester off on the wrong
      (mumbling under
       his breath)
Too bad I already have.
After class the guys passes out more flyers. One of the
flyer's drops on the floor. Roommate picks it up.
      (picks up a flyer
       that dropped on
       the floor)
I sure hope my roommate don't
snitch on us.
Who cares if he does.
When the guys leave the classroom,they go to PELHAM hall and
sneaks a bogus letter inside of Coach Pain's mailbox. The
letter tells Coach Pain that he is needed immediately for an


Why do I have a bad feeling about
I don't know, but I do know that
Ray is wearing shades and sunglasses as he goes around
putting banners around the entire dorm. Tim is wearing a
t-shirt and blue jeans as goes and brings out his boom box.
Lets move all these tables out of
the lobby area.
Move all the tables except for one
of them.In the meantime I am going
to go and get the janitor to make
sure that he is ready to perform.
As the guys are getting the decorations ready for the party
many other guys who stay in the dorm walk by and stares at
      (walks back to the
I already see a bunch of people
coming. I will go inside to greet
the people, you stay outside.
Lets get on with the show.
Kayla and three of her female friends walks up the dorms.
Welcome ladies to the biggest
party of the year. I'm DJ Ray and
ladies get ready to have some fun.
The three girls walks into the lobby.
Ladies make yourself comfortable.


The two offensive linemen arrives.
My security guards are finally
Security guards. We aren't your
security guard. We came to party
just like everybody else.
Well guys we had a deal remember.
Both of the offensive lineman walks closer to Ray and gives
him a mean stare.
Did you say something?
I said have a good time.
Students continue to show up for the party.
      (goes inside the
      (Standing on top
       of the table.)
Well people I have a special
surprise for everybody. I would
like to introduce Radiford
University to Bob the singing
      (starts singing a
       love song.)
All the guests are bopping their head to the janitor's
music. And after the janitor is finish, Tim gets everybody
Thank you singing Janitor. We will
definitely be needing you again.
What do we have in store next for
these people DJ Ray?


      (getting out his
Well we are gonna play some slow
music for these people.Somebody go
and cut the lights out for me.
The offensive lineman comes up to Tim while the music is
How are you gonna have a party
without no food? I'm hungry man
and I need something to eat.
      (Goes and grabs
Ray we don't have any food.
Don't worry about it kid. I
already ordered three boxes of
Three boxes of pizza isn't enough
for all of these people here.
Kid you worry too much. What you
need to do is enjoy your first
college party.
Flem and legs shows up at the party while the lights are
off. No one sees them come in.
      (whispering to the
       offensive lineman)
Puss Puss
      (looks at Flem)
Flem- when did you get here?
Flem goes near the vending machine.


Don't worry about that. Here is
the perfect opportunity for us to
show these losers how to have some
real fun.
Most people know that you can put your hand through the
bottom of a vending machine to get the food out. Flem
reaches his hand through the bottom of the vending machine
to get some food out. The lineman looks out for him.
Hurry up man. The song is almost
finish and they are going to cut
the lights back on.
Flem is able to grab a lot of snacks that are on the bottom
row of the vending machine. The lineman and Flem grabs the
snacks and runs upstairs without being noticed.Legs doesn't
go with them.
      (talking to Ray)
Go outside and see if the pizza
man is here yet.
You really do worry too much kid.
I'm trying to have fun
Legs sees a frog on the dorm floor and he chases it and
brings the frog to Flem.
      (holding the frog
       by the legs)
Flem look what I caught.
      (turning his head
Man that is disgusting. Get that
away from me. Why do you think I
would want to see a dead frog
I don't know but it's pretty cool
isn't it?


It's pretty nasty. Throw it away.
Wait a second I have an idea. We
can put the frog in the microwave
downstairs and burn that sucker.
      (talking while
       they are eating)
Good idea Flem. Only one question
though- who is going to put the
frog in the microwave?
The person who caught the frog
will put him in the microwave.
Legs sneaks downstairs to put the frog in the microwave. In
the meantime some people are noticing that there is food
                       STUDENT 1
The real party is on the second
Some students go upstairs while others stay downstairs.
While the students are going up the stairs two guys come out
of the shower with only a towel on.
      (starring very
Oh my God! You just came out the
                       DORM MATE
      (very upset)
What are all these people doing
here at our dorm this time of
It's called a party.
The pizza man has just arrives with 3 large pizzas.
      (handing the pizza
       man the money)
Here and you can keep the change.


Ray puts the pizza on the table. The pizza is basically gone
as soon as Ray put the pizza on the table. All that is left
for Ray is a tiny portion of cheese stuck to the box.
      (licks the box to
       get the small
       portion of
Ray what are you doing?
Kid what does it look like I'm
We have a bigger problem on our
hand. Many people have went
upstairs and I also keep smelling
something burnt.
I will go upstairs and get
everybody and tell them to come
back to the lobby area.
Ray goes upstairs and see Flem and the offensive lineman
eating the snacks.
Where did all those snacks come
Flem stole them out of the
      (while giving an
       odd look)
Thanks a lot buddy.
No problem.
      (talking loudly)
That explains where all the snacks
came from.I want you guys to
reimbursed me for all of those
snacks that you ate.


And what if we don't?
      (approaching Ray)
Yeah what if we don't?
You guys will have to deal with--
I'll be back
Ray goes back downstairs to see Tim hugged up with Leah and
a bunch of empty beer cups are also lying around.
Kid I really think that this party
is turning into a disaster.
Go away Ray.I'm trying to enjoy
this beautiful young woman
Flem and his boys stole some
snacks from the machine. Are you
hearing me kid? You smell like you
been drinking.
Who cares?
      (grabs Tim and
       gets him alone)
What are you doing? I'm trying to
enjoy myself.
A lot of kids start hollering in the middle of Tim and Ray
Ray why is everybody screaming?
      (runs to Kayla)
Whats going on?
Somebody fried a frog in the


      (Put his hand on
       top of his head)
      (Walks to Ray
Are you through talking to me,
because I was really enjoying my
friend company before you
interrupted me.
      (sniffing Tim)
You really have been drinking. Man
I got to do something.
Ray goes and stands on top of the table.
Okay everybody- the party is
over.We really enjoyed hosting
this party, but t's getting late.
As everyone is getting ready to leave, they suddenly turn
back around and enters the dorm with roommate.Roommate is
carrying a big bag of food.
      (carrying a bag of
I'm sorry but I didn't buy all
this food for nothing. I'm here to
Sorry people but the party is
Everyone who still want to party
please stay and I will turn this
into my own personal party.
      (slouching over in
       the couch.)
Party, party. I want to party.
Flem, legs and the offensive lineman all comes downstairs.


Whats going on? Why is the music
cut off?
The party is over. Do you got
Flem still wants to party. And
Flem always gets what he wants. So
somebody better go and cut that
music back on and I better see
people dancing or I'm gonna snap.
      (Puts in his spice
       girl cd and start
       dancing on his
Everyone looks at him as he dance and then they start
dancing. Ray goes and confronts Leah.
      (talking to Leah)
I'm going to ask you this nice as
possible. Did you give Tim some
alchol, because this man don't
drink, He don't even drink coffee
and I know somebody had to give
him the alchol.
Whats with the third degree of
questions? Your friend can't make
his own decisions.
The answe I'm looking for is
either yes or no.
At this time everybody is beginning to look as Leah and Ray
is talking.
What if I did?
I'm going to take your answer as a
Flem walks over to where leah is at


Leah is there a problem here?
Yeah, this guy keeps harassing me
and he is claiming that I caused
his friend to get drunk.
Apologize to her right now.
The room is silent. The music is cut off as everybody is
watching to see what will happen next.
She gave my friend some alchol and
forced an innocent person to
drink. Now that was wrong. Playing
with people emotions is wrong.
Everybody starts clapping
      (biting his lips)
You think you tough man?
Do you want to find out?
Flem approaches Ray and removes his hat and his sunglasses.
      (grabbing Ray
       shades and
What if I was to take your hat and
shades and step on them. What
would you do about that tough guy?
Flem stomps all over Ray shades and sunglasses. He also
spits on them.
Everybody say ow ow ow.
Okay I'm going to give you three
options.The first option is you
can buy me a new hat and then I
kick your butt. The second option
is that you can buy me some new
shades and then I kick your butt
or you can buy me both of them and
I still kick your butt. However
you got a butt beating coming one


                       RAY (cont'd)
way or another.
      (laughs out loud)
Offensive line come and handle my
Ray is in his fighter stance ready to fight.
Well you on your own with this
Fine then. Legs come handle my
Legs walks up to Ray and throws one wild punch in the air
that misses.
What the hell was that?
      (sweating an
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh man I can't fight. I
never fought a day in my life.
Legs runs out of the party
Everybody starts laughing.
Well I guess it's just me and
you.Judgement day has come early
for you.
      (takes off his
       shirt to show his
       six pack.)
Everyone is yelling fight, fight fight.
The janitor runs to break the guys up right when Ray is
about to throw a punch
Whats going on here?


Move out the way old man or I'll
take you out too!
      (looking surprised)
Take me out. Did you say that you
will take me out?
The janitor does a fake laugh then he does a martial arts
technique and pins Flem to the ground.
      (while on top of
Always respect your elder. My boy
at home is older than you and he
still respects me.
The janitor gets off of Flem and everyone applauds the
      (brushing himself
Ah man. You will be hearing from
Coach Pain.
He only roughed you up. Now I'm
about to finish the job.
      (walking off)
We will settle this some other
Flem walks up to legs and the offensive lineman.
Lets go guys.
We ain't going nowhere. We still
want to party.
Fine. I now see who my real
friends are.
Flem walks off and leaves the party.


      (going behind Flem)
Hold up Flem.
Cut the music off! I'm going to do
one more song and then everybody
gots to get the hell out of
here.I'm not going to be spending
my whole weekend cleaning up no
      (starts singing
       the school Alma
Tim is now beginning to get up and he starts feeling around
for leah.
Ray see Tim and goes and tell him that Leah is gone off with
Man this night has been crazy. I'm
going up to my room for the rest
of the night.
The janitor has just finished his song.
Okay everybody the show is over.
Good night.
Everyone files out of the dorm.
      (looking in the CD
Where my Spice Girls CD at?
Somebody done took my cd?
Roommate goes running out the dorm asking who took his cd?
In the meantime Ray sees Coach Pain coming up in the parking
      (runs to the
What is it?


      (sweating fiercely)
I just saw Coach Pain pull up. We
are in trouble. Look at this
      (looking through
       the window)
Oh my Lord that is him. Lets hide.
The janitor hides behind the desk. Ray goes and hide behind
the curtains. Coach Pain walks in the building and is
                       COACH P
What in the world happened here?
Coach Pain sees a flyer lying around and he picks it up and
reads it.
                       COACH P
Ray and Tim is behind all this.
These two guys have tried me
Coach Pain picks up his walkie talkie and calls campus
security. After he hangs up with them his cell phone rings.
                       COACH P
      (talking on his
       cell phone)
Coach Pain speaking.
Yeah this is Flem.
                       COACH P
Flem my star player, what can I do
for you today?
Coach Tim and Ray threw a party
tonight at your dorms. I tried to
stop them, but they attacked me.
                       COACH P
They attacked you. Are you hurt?
And will you be ready for the
season opener against Alabama?


Relax coach I'm fine. I just don't
know why they attacked me.After I
realized I couldn't prevent the
party from happening I left. I
tried to get big Ed and Roy to
leave also but they refused.
                       COACH P
Well thanks for telling me. I'm
glad that you was able to be a
leader and not a follower. As for
everybody else, -lets just say you
wouldn't want to be in their shoes
right now.
Campus security arrives and starts taking pictures of what
                       COACH P
      (talking to campus
Some people done already called me
and informed me of the two young
men who is responsible for this
disgracious act.
May I have the names of everyone
who is responsible?
                       COACH P
It will be my pleasure.
Both of the guys are shown looking scared.
There are signs all over the dorms telling Tim and Ray to
see Coach Pain immediately.
      (talking to Ray on
       the phone)
Ray I think that it would be a
good idea if we didn't go to class
What do you mean kid? We are like
the most popular people on campus.


There are signs all over the dorm
saying that Coach Pain want to see
us ASAP!
I haven't seen any signs nowhere.
Trust me pal.Things are going to
be different from now on.We might
have to move off campus. I don't
know what will happen to us.
Kid calm down. You are
paranoid.Let me put some clothes
on and I will come over and see
what the big fuss is about. Please
don't do anything before I get
there though.
Ray shows up at the dorms in his pajamas.
      (Pointing at the
Now you see what I mean? I told
you that we were in trouble.
      (glances at the
Lets go to the office and face our
Kid let me tell you something.
There is a price that you got to
pay for fame.
      (knocks on the
                       COACH P
Come in gentlemen. I have been
expecting you guys.


The guys come in and have a seat.
                       COACH P
Do you guys know that somebody
threw a party at this dorm last
night while I was gone?
      (looking surprised)
I didn't know that.
                       COACH P
      (hitting the pen
       against a cup
       while he talk)
Yeah somebody had the audacity to
throw a party in these dorms. They
also sent me a fake letter saying
that there was an emergency that I
needed to respond to. Me and my
staff spent the whole night
cleaning up from the big mess that
they made.
Both guys still have their head down. They try not to make
eye contact with Coach Pain.
                       COACH P
The sad thing about the situation
is that the people who threw the
party let it get out of hand.
There were beer bottles
everywhere, our vending machine
was broken and I even saw a frog
in the microwave. I would estimate
that the damages done range well
over a thousand dollars.
Coach Pain gets up from his chair and walks up to the guys.
                       COACH P
I know you gentlemen are curious
as to why I asked you guys to come
to my office right?
Not really, but thanks for
informing us what happened.
The guys get up and try to make a quick exit.
                       COACH P


The guys come back slowly and take their seat.
                       COACH P
      (gets the flyer
       from his desk
Can any one of you guys explain
      (grabs the flyer)
Tim gives Ray the flyer
I never saw this flyer a day in my
                       COACH P
      (starts laughing)
You never saw the flyers a day in
your life yet your name is on it.
Both guys shrug and then start laughing also
                       COACH P
      (raising his
Do you guys think I'm Bamboo the
Clown? I'm not crazy? Did you guys
really think that you could get
away with this? Huh? Am I suppose
to be crazy or unaware of what you
guys are doing?
Coach who is Bamboo the clown?
Coach Pain looks inside his desk drawer and pulls out a
letter that he gives to Ray.
                       COACH P
You taking me lightly? Here I want
you guys to read this letter.
Coach Pain hands Tim the letter. The letter states that the
guys will have a hearing indicating what their punishment
will be. The letter also tells the guys that the judge in
the hearing will be determined at a later date.
This letter don't give a date. How
will we know when to meet?


                       COACH P
As soon as more information is
provided to me, I will tell you
guys. In the meantime I suggest
you guys be thinking of a good
defense. Now get out my office.
The guys leave.
Tim is packing his clothes.
This was all your fault Ray.I knew
we should have never had that
Kid what are you so scared of?
I always wanted to be somebody in
life. College was my only chance
to make my family proud.
Kid you are somebody.We the most
popular guys on campus. We can
have any girl that we want. We are
Man there is more to life than
being cool and hip. I liked life
better when I was a nobody.Fame
isn't everything. I just feel like
I done turned to somebody who I'm
unfamiliar with. I don't know this
person I done become.
Kid whats with you? You acting
like you don't enjoy your new
found success. Man we are there
now.And I'm about to go take
advantage of all of the wonderful
opportunities that fame brings.


Go ahead. I need some time to
think and see what my next move is
going to be.
Ray exits. Tim goes through his drawer and looks at some old
pictures of him in high school with his old friends.His
brief recollection of memories is interrupted when the
janitor knocks on the door.
      (knocks on the
      (opens the door)
My main man Tim. How is everything
been going?
I heard that Coach Pain had wanted
to talk to you.
Yeah me and him talked. He told me
that I got to go to trial to
determine what punishment will be
given to me.
If there is anything I can do let
me know- but if they ask you who
all was involved don't mention my
I will keep that in mind.
Tim phone rings.
Kid we got a test in freshmen
experience class. Did you forget?
Ah crap. I'm on my way there now


Ray and Tim walk in the classroom together. Everybody
(except for Flem) starts clapping.
      (looking back from
       the chalkboard)
I thought that Michael Jordan had
came in the classroom cause of the
way you all was cheering.
Ray takes a bow. Tim smiles and goes to his seat and pull
out his notebook.
This test will be covering most of
the material that we learned from
the notes. I expect everybody to
do well on the test. Good luck.
The teacher starts passing out the test. Tim get started the
second he gets his test.Ray copies from the student sitting
next to him. The student sees Ray coping from his paper and
continues to let him do it.
You all may leave after the test.
Ray turns his paper in before Tim. He then goes outside to
wait on him. Flem comes out as he is waiting.
Whats up loser.
Loser. How about we finish our
unsettled business from last
      (rolling up his
I'm ready whenever you ready.
Some students see Ray about to fight come and get behind
You suppose to be a big shot all
of a sudden? You throw one party
and then you supposed to be cool.


I sure am pal. Football is your
thing, parties are mine.
Tim comes out the classroom
Whats going on?
I'm about to handle some
unfinished business from last
Ray lets go. We already in enough
trouble as it is.
You guys see that. His little
girlfriend tells him what he can
and can't do.
Ray runs at Flem, but Tim is holding him back. Ray is still
talking to Flem even though Tim is holding him back.
You think that the janitor hurt
you. You ain't seen nothing
yet.I'm really going to hurt you.
Tim holds Ray and escort him out of the building.
Whats wrong with you Ray?
I was going to hurt him.We going
to get expelled anyways, so we
might as well go out with a bang.
Speak for yourself.
Tim is on the bed looking at the ceiling when his roommate
enters the room.


The next time that you and your
friend decide to throw a party do
me a favor and tell me in advance.
Why do we have to tell you in
Because I want to be the DJ.Your
friend Ray didn't do a good job.
You can tell him that the next
time you see him.
There is a knock at the door.
Come in.
Tim's dad enters wearing an old shirt and tight jeans.
                       TIM'S DAD
I'm here son. I know I should of
been here, but I got a flat tire
along the way.
Dad this here is my roommate Tim.
Tim this is my dad.
      (stares at Tim's
       Dad but don't say
                       TIM'S DAD
Excuse us while we step out and
Tim and his dad step out the room door.
                       TIM'S DAD
Son tell me exactly what happened.
Ray and I wanted to be cool so we
threw a party and now the school
want to disclipine us.


                       TIM'S DAD
I don't see a problem with that.
We threw the party here at these
dorms and a lot of things got
                       TIM'S DAD
Now I see where the problem come
in at. Have the school decided
what is going to happen to you and
No not yet, but Coach Pain said
that we have a hearing coming up
in the very near future..
                       TIM'S DAD
We need to go and talk with Coach
Pain immediately.
Can we wait until the morning?
                       TIM'S DAD
That will be fine with me. I'm
going to go and get a hotel. I
will be back here first thing in
the morning.
Tim's dad leave and Tim goes back in the room
You and your old man both got bad
taste.He had on some little pants
with a belt. That style been
played out.
I would rather for him to wear
tight pants than for him to be gay
like you.
      (shows Tim the
       palm of his hand)
Talk to the hand cause the face
aint listening.


Tim hears a knock at the door. The clock shows that it is
just barley seven o'clock.
      (opens the door.)
                       TIM'S DAD
Lets go son. We have business to
      (Peeks one eye
       open to look at
       Tim's dad)
Dad this is way to early.
                       TIM'S DAD
Son lets go.Don't make me tell you
                       TIM'S DAD
You got ten minuets to go and
handle your business.
Can you at least let me go and
brush my teeth and put on some
Tim goes and brush his teeth and he puts on some wrinkled
clothes and goes downstairs.
                       TIM'S DAD
Where is Coach Pain office at?
Follow me.
Tim and his dad goes to Coach Pain office. Tim's dad knocks
on the door.
                       COACH P
Come in.


                       TIM'S DAD
Mr. Pain how you doing this
                       COACH P
      (reaching out his
       hand to Tim's dad)
Good Good. I couldn't be doing
better. What can I do for you guys
                       TIM'S DAD
Tim told me that you scheduled a
hearing for him and his friend. He
said that he made a mistake and
you want to punish him.
                       COACH P
Now that's not the whole
truth.Your son threw an
unauthorized party on school
campus.The party caused a lot of
damage to our property. Somebody
has to be responsible and take the
blame for this.
                       TIM'S DAD
My son might have been the one who
threw the party, but shouldn't
everybody else who was at the
party also be part of the blame.?
                       COACH P
We can't get everybody you know.
                       TIM'S DAD
      (raising his voice)
The hell you can. There is no way
that you going to convince me that
my son caused thousands of dollars
worth of damages. My son did make
a mistake, but all eighteen year
old make them.
                       COACH P
Since I was unsure about how to
punish your son and his friend I
decided to have a hearing. The
hearing will be today at three
right here in the lobby.


                       TIM'S DAD
I will be there to make sure my
son gets a fair hearing.
                       COACH P
That's fine with me. Tim make sure
your friend is here with you.
Tim and his dad exits Coach Pain office. Tim's dad walks out
slowly. He is looking at Coach Pain the entire time as he is
walking out.
                       TIM'S DAD
Son lets go get some breakfast. We
have a long day ahead of us.
Tim and his dad exit the dorms.
Ray is lying down in his bed. Two beautiful girls are
rubbing his back.
      (knocks on Ray
Come in.
What are you doing man?
The girls goes up to Tim and tries to give him a hug but he
brushes them off.
Kid is life good or what?
You said is life good or what. You
gave me a choice and I pick what.
Do you get the joke?


Very funny kid.
Coach Pain scheduled a hearing for
us today at three.
Who cares?
What are you talking about? We
might get removed from this
university and you acting like you
don't care.
Kid life is meant to be enjoyed.I
don't worry about things I can't
I did my job. I told you.
The girls wave and tells Tim by as he leaves Ray's room.
Tim is having a conversation with his dad.
      (constantly moving
       as he talk)
I am so nervous.
                       TIM'S DAD
Relax son. Relax. Everything will
go just fine. I am here to make
sure that due process of the law
is served. Our forefathers fought
so that we might have the right to
a fair trial.
Really? Dad I'm going before the
school committee, not the Supreme


                       TIM'S DAD
      (glancing at his
According to my watch it is three
o'clock. Where they at?
Coach Pain could be trying to
trick us. He probably changed his
mind and don't want us to no about
The janitor comes walking through the door.
Do you know why Coach Pain isn't
here yet? The hearing is suppose
to be at three.
He is outside now in his car. I
would guess that he is waiting on
The janitor takes a seat right beside Tim and his dad. After
a brief wait Coach Pain shows up with Joe and Flem.Mrs.Lewis
shows up shortly after them.
                       COACH P
Good day gentlemen.
Mrs. Lewis what are you doing
I will be one of the people
deciding your fate.
Where is the other defendant?
He is running a little late, but
he should be on his way shortly.
I will give you the opportunity to
present your side of the story to
me and I will also give Coach Pain
the opportunity to tell his side
of the story. After both sides are
heard a ruling will be made by the


                       JOE (cont'd)
president and his staff.
A knock is heard at the door.
      (goes to open the
Ray shows up with two beautiful women on his side. He is
wearing a three piece suit with a hat and shades.
I'm sorry Raymondo but other than
immediately family no outsiders
will be allowed at this hearing.
My new name is DJ Ray and these
lovely ladies are in my family.
                       COACH P
Son I suggest you escort your
guests out now.
The two ladies leaves the lobby area and goes outside the
I think we are ready to begin.
Coach Pain do you want to start
Wait a second. How is Flem still
                       COACH P
He is one of my witnesses.
                       COACH P
Now I will begin. You know I been
at Radiford University since 1985.
This university has been my home.
I been here through the good and
bad times.
Your honor judge I object. What
does this have to do with us?


      (whispering to Ray)
You are going to blow it for us.
Joe and the teacher acts as if Ray haven't said anything.
                       COACH P
These dorms right here are special
to me. I remember the day they
first built them. I was so happy.
We had been trying for the longest
to get some dorms built here, but
we never did succeed until 1992.
      (whispering to Tim)
He need to stop lying. He know
these dorms were built in 1982.
                       COACH P
I have enjoyed these dorms every
since they were built. One day I
got back from a road trip and saw
that these dorms were trashed.
Vending machines were broken into.
I saw broken glass everywhere. The
microwave was blown up. This dorm
was literally ruined.
Coach Pain starts faking a cry. Officer Joe goes and bring
him some tissue.
                       TIM'S DAD
Even I can see through that.I know
that nobody is going to believe
that he is really crying.
Only Coach Pain have the floor
right now.
                       COACH P
      (wiping his eyes
       with the tissue)
At this time I would like to call
my witness to the front.
Flem walks to the front.
                       COACH P
Flem will you tell the people what
happened on that fatal night.


      (talking in a
       light tone of
Well me and my homeboys was in our
rooms working on homework when we
heard a lot of music coming from
somewhere. We went out to find
where the music was coming from
and we saw that it was coming from
here.We went in and saw that there
was a big party going on.
                       COACH P
After you saw that they were
having a party what did you do?
I tried to break it up. I told
them that they was wrong but they
wouldn't listen. They told the
janitor that I was a spy and then
he attacked me.
                       COACH P
Could you point to the guy who
assaulted you.
      (points to Bob the
       singing janitor.)
                       COACH P
What did you do next?
I went to the emergency room and I
was given over ten stiches.
                       COACH P
Okay son I think we heard enough
from you. You may sit down.
Flem looks at Tim and Ray and give them an evil smile.
Okay you guys may now defend


I will start off first by saying
that this guy is a liar. He was at
the party partying hard as we
Flem and Coach Pain is now looking in disbelief.
He was the one who broke into the
vending machines. His click were
the ones who put a frog in the
microwave. He was the one doing
these horrible acts.
Okay calm down. We all can hear
fine we aren't deaf.
      (looking at Tim)
Do you have something to say young
I sure do. You know college is a
once in a lifetime
opportunity.People come to college
for different reasons. Some people
come to college to get an
education, some people come to
college to meet a soul mate and
other come to party. Regardless of
the reason college is still
      (singing like he
       at church)
I never once said that I didn't
throw a party. Sure I had a party
that I wasn't supposed to have.
Does that cause alone mean that my
chances at higher education should
be ruined. I think back to the
Bible days and the disciples
brought Jesus a woman caught in
the midst of adultery.


                       COACH P
What does this have to do with
                       TIM'S DAD
Man if you don't let my son talk I
will come over there and knock
Tim has the floor right now.
The disciples told Jesus that
according to the law she was
supposed to be stoned to death but
they wanted to know what should
they do. Jesus got down and wrote
on the ground. He wrote that he
who is without sin let him cast
the first stone. All the disciples
had to leave because they all had
Tell it tell it now.
So my question to everybody is
that he who is blameless let him
stand up now.
The small group of people look around at each other but no
one speaks.
You see we all done did wrong in
our lifetime.I know what I did was
wrong, but I admitted my mistake
and I learned from it.
Tim walks back to his seat.
Does anybody have any more
evidence that they would like to
                       COACH P
Yeah I do. I think that Bob should
have to pay Flem medical bills.


      (singing again)
No, no no way that's going to
What did he say?
Mr. do you have anything that you
would like to say?
      (shakes his head)
Well if no one else has anything
to say we wil--
                       TIM'S DAD
I didn't mean to cut you off but I
have something to say.
You alright. Go right ahead.
                       TIM'S DAD
You know my son has always been a
good kid. He got straight A's all
through high school.I have been
saving up college money for him
every since he was born. Don't
tell me I saved all that money for
You always give me the money.
Officer Joe gives the janitor a mean look.
Now has everyone who wanted to
Everyone collectively shakes their head.
Well we are going to bring the
matter to a close. Mrs. Lewis and
myself will talk this matter over
with the president and we will
come back with a verdict
tomorrow.We will meet back here


                       JOE (cont'd)
tommorrow at three.
After the dismissal Flem goes back in the office with Coach
Pain. The janitor goes up the stairs and Ray waits on Tim
and his dad to come out.
Kid you did a good job.
I wish I could say the same thing
about you.
Well my beautiful ladies are
waiting on me, so I will see you
tommorrow at three.
Ray goes where his two female companions are and they exit.
                       TIM'S DAD
Son regardless of what happen I
want you to know that I'm proud of
Why are you proud of me? I'm in
                       TIM'S DAD
I just like your attitude. You
refuse to go down without a fight.
What can I say except I must have
good genes.
Tim embraces his dad.
Tim is on his knees praying
God I know I was wrong for what I
did but I promise I want ever do
it again. Please God let me hear
the results I want tommorrow.
Roommate enters the room.


Why are you on your knees like
It's called praying and it's
something that you need to
consider doing.
      (showing his hand.)
Talk to the hand cause the face
aint listening.
I have a question I have been
wanting to ask you?
What do you want to ask me?
Are you, -you know are you?
Am I what?
Are you gay?
After Tim asks roommate the question he blows up.
Am I gay? What kind of question is
that? You don't ask people stuff
like that. If you go to my
hometown and ask somebody that
there is a chance that you could
get shot or killed.
      (mumbling under
       his breath)
Yeah you gay.
What was that?
I didn't say nothing.


Tim and Ray are outside talking. Ray is wearing sunglasses.
Where your lady friends at?
I told them not to come today.I
might have to start fighting if
these people don't tell me what I
want to hear.
Yeah right. I wonder where my old
man at?
I don't know. Why are the doors
still locked?
Where is everybody? Where is the
janitor, Flem, where is Coach Pain
I don't know but I do know that if
they aren't here in another five
minuets I'm leaving.
The dorm door opens and a guy hollers come in.
Whats going on? Who that was?
Ray and Tim walks in the dorm. Joe, Tim's dad janitor, and
the teacher are all looking at them smiling.
Would somebody tell me whats going
                       TIM'S DAD
Congratulation guys. You actually
did the school a favor.
The president decided that these
dorms are way past due. They
decided to tear them down and


                       TEACHER (cont'd)
build some new ones.
      (Gives everybody a
       high five)
Everything else is history.A few
of your fellow freshmen decided to
throw you to a party. However this
party will be authorized.
Well what the hell we waiting on?
Lets get this party started.
Everybody starts dancing away. After the song goes off the
janitor starts singing free at last.
We did it Ray. We did it.
Yeah kid we did it. We are the
kings of Radiford University.
Roommate comes from downstairs into the lobby area
I'm trying to take a nap. Where is
all that noise coming from?
They throwing your roommate and
his buddy a party.
Why nobody told me I like to party
too. Let me go and get my spice
girls cd.
Roommate goes to get his spice girl CD. After he comes back
he tries to put it in the CD - player.
We ain't listening to no Spice
girls CD? If if ain't no crunk
song then we don't want to hear


Boy you don't tell me what to
do.Don't try to act all bad just
because this your party.
You can do whatever you want to. I
just know you're not going to use
this CD player to listen to some
spice Girls music.
Roommate goes back upstairs. In the meantime Flem is peeking
in from the window.Tim sees him and goes outside where he
Sorry man but you aren't invited
to this party.
I want you to know something. You
will never be cool as I am-and
don't think that I don't know that
you two were locked up.
I really don't care. I just enjoy
being me. I'm about to go inside.
I wish you could with me but you
aren't invited.
Flem brush Tim off and walks off.
      (walks back in)
Lets crank this party up another
Tim walks up to Ray
What about our court date? You do
remember that we aren't out of hot
water yet.
Kid that date isn't until next
year. Right now it's our time to
shine and pa