Home Screenwriting Products Screenwriter Community Screenwriting Store
ScriptBuddy - Screenwriting Software for the Web

Screenwriter Community

Back to List of Published Screenplays
View/Leave Feedback

Sons Of Thunder (Short)
by roberto (revengewood@gmail.com)

Rated: PG-13   Genre: Drama   User Review: ***1/2
A fight for survival between two brothers.


This is a prequel to my next one. The sequel of this reveals why Luke was in jail and more backstory on all of them.



SONS OF THUNDER (SHORT)

FADE IN:

INT. DOORWAY - DAY
                                                            
James's mom and Peter are saying goodbye to James. Peter is
loading the car.
                                                            
                       DIANA
There is money on the fridge. It
should keep you boys fed for a
good ten days but since we are
gonna be gone two, I expect some
change.
                                                            
                       JAMES
Cool.
                                                            
                       DIANA
And John do look after Paul. He
looks up to you please don't bully
him.
                                                            
                       JAMES
Yeah, yeah don't worry about it. I
will have everything under
control.
                                                            
Diana looks at him.
                                                            
                       JAMES
Mom, trust me everything will be
fine.
                                                            
Peter walks up and John walks to the door.
                                                            
                       PETER
Well sport, we are off.
                                                            
                       JAMES
Bye Peter.
                                                            
They shake hands.
                                                            
                       PETER
And be good son. I don't want to
hear any bad reports when I get
home, ok?
                                                            

2.

                       JOHN
Ok. I love you dad.
                                                            
                       DIANA
Now be good you two.
                                                            
Shes hugs both of them.
                                                            
                       JAMES
We will. Bye Mom.
                                                            
                       JOHN
Bye Mom.
                                                            
They get in their car and leave.
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
James and John are watching T.V.
                                                            
                       JOHN
Hey wanna watch a movie?
                                                            
                       JAMES
It depends...what movie?
                                                            
                       JOHN
I don't care. Which ever one you
want.
                                                            
 
EXT. OUTSIDE JOHNS HOUSE. - NIGHT
                                                            
A car rolls up on the opposite side of the street and parks.
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
James and John are trying to decide what movie to watch.
                                                            
                       JAMES
How about this one?
                                                            
                       JOHN
No.
                                                            
                       JAMES
This one?
                                                            
                       JOHN
No, I just watched that one.
                                                            

3.

                       JAMES
Oh my god. How about this one.
                                                            
                       JOHN
No, I'm not in the mood for a
Streisand movie.
                                                            
                       JAMES
Fine, I'll just pick out a movie.
So why don't you go order some
pizza.
                                                            
John gets up to go to the kitchen.
                                                            
                       JOHN
Whatever.
                                                            
                       JAMES
Get a large pepperoni and a medium
cheese.
                                                            
                       JOHN
Yeah, yeah.
                                                            
John turns and goes into the kitchen.
                                                            
 
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
                                                            
John walks up to the phone and picks it up and the line was
cut by a knife. He starts to look at it and a knife comes
out of nowhere and is up against his neck. A hand covers his
mouth and muffles his screams.
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
James is looking through movies and notices that John hasn't
ordered anything yet.
                                                            
                       JAMES
Hey have you started ordering yet?
                                                            
James picks a movie and stands up.
                                                            
                       JAMES
I picked a movie. I think you'll
like it.
                                                            
He is looking at the back of the dvd box. He looks up and
notices there is no response.
                                                            

4.

                       JAMES
John?
                                                            
He tosses the movie on the couch and starts to head into the
kitchen.
                                                            
                       JAMES
Why are the lights out?
                                                            
James enters the kitchen.
                                                            
 
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
                                                            
James walks in to the kitchen and turns the light on a sees
John tied to a chair. Luke has a gun to his head.
                                                            
                       JAMES
Holy shit!
                                                            
Paul gives out a scream.
                                                            
                       LUKE
Hi James.
                                                            
                       JAMES
What...who are you?
                                                            
                       LUKE
You don't recognize your own
father how sad. Has it been that
long?
                                                            
                       JAMES
No...you're supposed to be in
jail. How did you find us?
                                                            
                       LUKE
I served my fifteen years and did
you really think it would be that
hard for me to find you guys, I
mean I only got out three days
ago.
                                                            
James looks at John, John starts to cry.
                                                            
                       JAMES
John... Let him go! Please...
                                                            
                       LUKE
Aww are you scared for your step
brother.
                                                            

5.

Luke cocks the gun and points it at John.
                                                            
                       LUKE
So this is the newest piece of
shit that your mother has created.
                                                            
                       JAMES
Please, we'll give you anything.
                                                            
                       LUKE
      (Yells)
Then give me the fifteen years of
my life back! You took everything
from me my career, my reputation,
and my life!
                                                            
                       JAMES
Please just let him go he isn't a
part of this.
                                                            
                       LUKE
      (Calms himself
       down)
Fine, all you need to do is three
simple things and you and John
here are free to go.
                                                            
                       JAMES
I'll do anything. Please.
                                                            
                       LUKE
One! You must go to your
girlfriend and breakup with her.
Tell her your sleeping with
another girl and you are sick of
her and want nothing to do with
her.
                                                            
                       JAMES
Please, it's going to be our three
year aniversary this Sunday...
                                                            
                       LUKE
Two! You must go to your
bestfriend and beat him up. Send
him to the hospital. I want him
broken beyond repair.
                                                            
John screams and Luke hits him in the head twice, once on
shut and the second on up.
                                                            

6.

                       LUKE
Shut up. Three! You must go and
destroy all of your parents files
and documents. I know your mother
has them hidden somewhere around
here.
                                                            
                       JAMES
Is that all?
                                                            
                       LUKE
Thats all. But if you try to bring
the cops or if you don't do these
tasks how I told to... I will come
back again and I won't be as nice.
Oh and you only have thirty
minutes, starting...now. And if
you don't finish in time John
here...dies.
                                                            
John screams and James turns and sprints out the front door.
                                                            
 
EXT. OUTSIDE MARY'S HOUSE - NIGHT
                                                            
James pulls up and jumps out of the car and sprints up to
the front door and bangs on it.
                                                            
                       JAMES
Open up! Mary!
                                                            
Mary opens the front door.
                                                            
                       MARY
Hey James. Whoa, what's wrong?
                                                            
                       JAMES
I'm sorry. We can't do this
anymore. Here.
                                                            
James pulls out a ring and gives it back to her. She starts
to tear up.
                                                            
                       MARY
What? Why?
                                                            
                       JAMES
I'm sorry. I don't think that we
should go out anymore.
                                                            
                       MARY
But w-w-why?
                                                            

7.

                       JAMES
There's another woman Mary. I've
fallen in love with someone else.
We are over.
                                                            
James turns and leaves. She breaks down and cries hard. He
gets in his car and tears up. He drives away.
                                                            
 
EXT. MATTHEW'S HOUSE - NIGHT
                                                            
James drives up and jumps out of his car. He knocks on the
door and Matt answers.
                                                            
                       MATTHEW
Hey what's up man.
                                                            
                       JAMES
I'm sorry.
                                                            
                       MATTHEW
For w...
                                                            
James throws him against the wall. He punches him in the
stomach, knees him in the head, and then punches him in the
face. Matthew falls to the ground. James walks back to his
car and sits down and starts to flip out and he hits the
steering wheel and starts the car and drives away.
                                                            
 
EXT. OUTSIDE JOHNS HOUSE. - NIGHT
                                                            
James drives up and sprints to the garage. He opens it up
and runs in. He hits the cabinet above the washer and drier
and a key falls. He finds a filecabinet. He unlocks the lock
and pulls out a bunch of files. He throws them back in and
turns and grabs some lighter fluid and finds matches and
lights them on fire. He sprints into the house and runs up
back to John and Luke.
                                                            
 
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
                                                            
James comes running in.
                                                            
                       JAMES
      (Out of breath)
Ok everything is done. I did what
you want now please let him go!
                                                            

8.

                       LUKE
Oh tut tut tut. Looks like you
have make it back in, oh so close,
thirty five minutes.
                                                            
Luke points his gun at John and he screams.
                                                            
                       JAMES
Wait n...
                                                            
The gun shot muffles his screams. John is dead. James starts
to scream and he breaks down and slides to the floor.
                                                            
                       LUKE
Oh, and here is the suicide note.
                                                            
James looks up.
                                                            
                       JAMES
What?
                                                            
James is shot and he dies. Luke puts the suicide note on the
table and drops the gun next to James.
                                                            
                                         FADE OUT.
                                                            
After the credits.
                                                            
 
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
                                                            
James is on the floor. He pulls out his cell phone and
slowly dials 911. He can barely breathe.
                                                            
                       911 OPERATOR
911, this is Rose. What is the
problem?
                                                            
                       JAMES
Shot in stomach. Please come
quickly.
                                                            


FADE OUT.


Back to Top of Page
Leave Feedback
Feedback
From Nick Hanks Date 12/22/2008 ****
Roberto, duuuuude, this is a great, great screenplay. You did everything right. a)You started in the middle of an action, b)you built suspense quickly, c) you made the dialogue and direction read fluidly, easily, effortlessly, d) you stuck to the three act format and most importantly you created an intriguing riddle. That's what great movies possess is a good riddle. At the end, just when we think everything is going to work out you slap us in the face with reality. Unbelievable man. This would make a really great short film. I am so completely impressed. This is what you should do for a living bro really, this is your calling. Well freaking done. These other people obviously wouldn't know a great script if it hit them in the face.

From Brian Marquardt Date 12/21/2007 ***
Pretty good screenplay. Could use a little work though. Try to make the dialouge sound more natural. No one says "We are off" or "There is money on the fridge". Real people use contractions. Also, maybe give a little more history on Luke. Like what's his story? Other than that, great job!

From Andy Carbon Date 8/28/2007 **1/2
Well, it was a fair screenplay but there are lots of loose ends. This one is just plain chameful: James is shot and he dies. Luke puts the suicide note on the table and drops the gun next to James. FADE OUT. After the credits. INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT James is on the floor. He pulls out his cell phone and slowly dials 911. He can barely breathe. How can John call 911 if he supposedly 'dies'? When people die, they don't just ressurect like that, ok?

From Tucker Warner Date 8/23/2007 ***1/2
Great story...I would like it if you extended James's emotions a little more. And: I'm still confused by the ending, what does it mean??

From Rob Wood Date 8/22/2007 ****
Cool thriller. Liked the Streisand joke thought that was hilarious. Decent short. Wellrounded and solid two thumbs up!!!!!!!!!

From Kris Shaft Date 8/21/2007 ***1/2
Nice horror. Great intensity and ending. 4 problems that you could fix and make better. 1. Dialogue seems a little forced. 2. Explanations. Why is Luke in jail? Where are parents going? etc. 3. It all happens too fast extensions, intervals would be good. 4. James can't cal 911 if Luke severed the phone line. But it was great overall, keep on going!

From Rob Date 8/21/2007 ****
Really liked it. Didnt see the end coming at all. Glad you left it ambiguous whether they did survive or not. Great job!!!!!


Back to Top of Page
Leave Feedback
You must be logged in to leave feedback.
Home    My Account    Products    Screenwriter Community    Screenwriter's Corner    Help
Forgot Your Password?    Privacy Policy    Copyright 2018, ScriptBuddy LLC.    Email help@scriptbuddy.com