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Call Center - The Short
by No More Talk Productions (martinlemaire@nomoretalk.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ****
Follow Eric Barnett through a typical day at the office.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

EXT. SUPERCOM CALL CENTER - DAY
                                                            
ERIC BARNETT sits on a bench outside of an office building
blankly staring off into the distance. JOEY CHASTAIN walks
up and takes a seat next to him. Joey lites up a cigarette.
Joey leans over and waves his hand in front of Eric's face,
breaking his trance.
                                                            
                       JOEY
Sup man.
                                                            
                       ERIC
Oh, hey what's up?
                                                            
                       JOEY
You alright?
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (Jesters toward
       the building
       behind him)
Yeah, just another day in hell.
                                                            
                       JOEY
Ah, come on its not all that bad.
If I remember correctly, today is
not just another day is it? I
beleive it's somebody's birth-....
                                                            
                       ERIC
Don't
                                                            
                       JOEY
Oh yeah, it's your birthday. Happy
birthday dude.
                                                            
                       ERIC
Thanks man, but please don't go
telling everybody. Especially
Seth.
                                                            
                       JOEY
Why not man? Nothing wrong with
celebrate'n your Birthday.
                                                            
                       ERIC
Yeah, but Seth's definition of
celebrating is vastly different
than everybody else's on the
planet.
                                                            

2.

                       JOEY
      (Laughing)
He's not that bad.
                                                            
                       ERIC
Seriously, I know what will
happen. We'll go to the bar, he'll
get stupid drunk, act like the
total fucktart that he is, hit on
every chick in the place, and I'll
go home alone with all the
ingredients for a nice hang over.

I'd rather just skip straight to
the passing out part.
                                                            
                       JOEY
Dude! I know Seth can be a bit..
well over the top.. But you need
to have some fun on your birthday.
                                                            
Eric's cell phone begins to RING. He answers it with out
looking at the number.
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (on the phone)
Thank you for calling supercom ...
                                                            
Eric turns away from the phone in disgust at his flub-up.

Joey chuckles to himself.
                                                            
                       ERIC
MotherFu...
      (returning the
       phone back to his
       ear)
sorry, habit.
      (to Joey)
speak of the devil-
      (back to the phone)
Aren't you supposed to be at work?
                                                            
A fellow co-worker of theirs - SETH BRADFORD, bust through
the door to join them.
                                                            
                       SETH
      (also on his cell)
I am at work bitch.
                                                            
Eric turns to see Seth. both hang up. Seth whips out a
cigarette and lites it up.
                                                            

3.

                       SETH
Happy birthday sunshine.
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (to Joey)
You told him!?
                                                            
                       JOEY
sorry dude. I figured you'd want
to go out tonight.
                                                            
                       SETH
So we celebrate'n tonight or what?
                                                            
                       ERIC
For what? Another year of my life
wasted working at this fucking
place?
                                                            
                       JOEY
What about Month end? Our final
Call Monitors? Raises? We need to
celebrate for that.
                                                            
                       ERIC
Damn it! I completely forgot! I'm
probably already fucked. I'll
probably be the only guy not
getting a raise.
                                                            
                       SETH
Awww! poor baby. I already know I
got my shit all wrapped up. Money
in the bank baby!
                                                            
                       ERIC
Whatever Seth.
                                                            
                       SETH
Oh, did you guys see Transformers
yet!?
                                                            
                       JOEY
Hell Yeah man!
                                                            
                       ERIC
I have not.
                                                            
                       SETH
      (to Eric)
Listen, this is what we're going
to do. We're going to dress you up
like Optimus Prime, get you drunk,
and take your ass to see
            (MORE)

4.

                       SETH (cont'd)
Transformers. Cause that movie was
the shit!
                                                            
Seth makes the TRANSFORMING SOUND and does his transformer
impression.
                                                            
Joey laughs at Seth and finishes his cigarette.
                                                            
                       JOEY
I'm heading in. See you guys
inside.
                                                            
                       SETH
      (to Joey)
I'm already clocked in and I'm
pretty sure I got time for another
cigarette.
      (offering Eric a
       cigarette)
Smoke?
                                                            
                       ERIC
How many times do we have to go
through this, I don't smoke. I'll
see you inside.
                                                            
Eric goes inside.
                                                            
                       SETH
      (to himself)
one of these days...He'll break.
They all break.
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
We see the hustle and bustle of the everyday dealings at
SuperCom; Phones ring off the hook, associates banter back
and forth. The rustling of papers, the off color
discussions both on and off the phones. The
semi-professional appearance of a serious business, with the
morale of a junior high school.

                                                            
                       ERIC
      (to the camera)
Welcome to SuperCom. But don't
let the "super" part fool you. It
isn't all it's cracked up to be.
                                                            

5.

Eric walks pass a few cubicles to a table with donuts,
coffee, and a very lame attempt at a birthday cake with his
name on it. He helps himself to the continental buffet
before him.
                                                            
Eric arrives at his cubicle. LORI, a CSR (Customer Service
Representative) who sits behind Eric. sneaks up behind him
and snaps a birthday cap on him.
                                                            
                       LORI
Happy Birthday!
                                                            
Eric gives her a sarcastic smile and quickly takes off the
hat.
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - ERIC'S DESK - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
Eric opens the bottom drawer. he pulls out three sheets of
paper, each with a numerical score in red marker on the
tops.
                                                            
                       ERIC (v.o.)
Sadly enough today is not only my
birthday, it's the last day of the
quarter and last quarter of the
year. Which means review time.
Now, reviews are based on "Call
Monitors"
                                                            
Camera Pauses
                                                            
                       ERIC
Okay, maybe I should explain what
"Call Monitors" are.

you know that automated message
you hear whenever you call a
customer service line -
                                                            
Cut to actual audio - "This call may be recorded for quality
assurance purposes"
                                                            
                       ERIC
yeah! That message. That
redundant, annoying little blurb
actually affects whether or not I
get a paycheck.

You see, my company monitors calls
at random and then grades them
according to the "Almighty,
SuperCom Customer Service Manual.
      (sarcastically)
            (MORE)

6.

                       ERIC (cont'd)
Were we polite, and knowledgeable.
Did we satisfy the customers
needs, yada yada.
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (focusing on the
       three previous
       scores)
Another low score, and I can
forget about my raise, or maybe
they'll just fire me.
                                                            
Eric's phone RINGS. He puts the papers on his desk and
answers the call.
                                                            
                       ERIC
Thank you for calling SuperCom. My
name is Eric. I'm capable of
resolving your issues. How may I
help you?
                                                            
 
INT. CUSTOMER #1 - KITCHEN - DAY
                                                            
                       CUSTOMER #1
You can resolve my issues by
gettin' me yer supervisor you sum
bitch!
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - ERIC'S DESK - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
                       ERIC (V.O.)
And so it begins...
                                                            
Eric looks at the sign on his cubicle that reads, "I'm
capable of resolving you issues."
                                                            
                       ERIC
Sir, I'm capable of resolving your
issues. How may I help you?
                                                            
                       CUSTOMER #1 (v.o.)
I told you to get me a supervisor
son, are you deaf or what?
                                                            
                       ERIC
sir,...
                                                            
                       CUSTOMER #1 (vo)
I paid you sum bitches over
thirty-five dollars two weeks ago.
You don't turn my account back
            (MORE)

7.

                       CUSTOMER #1 (cont'd)
on, I'm cancellin' it! You can
bet yer ass on that. now git me
yur damn supervisor, boy!
                                                            
                       ERIC
One moment sir.
                                                            
Eric puts the customer on hold, slides over to Joey and hand
the call over to him.
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (to Joey)
You're up.
                                                            
                       JOEY
      (rolling his eyes)
What line...
                                                            
                       ERIC
22
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - JOEY'S DESK - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
Joey connects to the call.
                                                            
                       JOEY
My name is Joseph, how may i
assist you sir?
                                                            
 
INT. CUSTOMER #1 - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
                       CUSTOMER #1
i was axing yur boyfriend over
there about this cancelating
bullshit!
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - JOEY AND ERIC'S AREA - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
                       JOEY
I'm sorry about the inconvenience
sir. let me see what I could do
for you.
                                                            
After a few strokes on the keyboard and a couple of clicks
of the mouse.
                                                            

8.

                       JOEY
sir, It's all taken care of. I've
reversed the cancellation and your
account is back to normal
                                                            
                       CUSTOMER #1 (VO)
      (unable to find
       another reason to
       complain)
well...yur damn right!...don't
make me have to call next month.
                                                            
                       JOEY
well if there's nothing else sir,
I think we've resolved your issues
today. Thank you for calling
SuperCom, and have a great day.
                                                            
Joey hangs up.
                                                            
                       ERIC
did you really reverse his
cancellation?
                                                            
                       JOEY
...no. I didn't do anything, I
just told him what he wanted to
hear.
      (leaning over and
       smirking)
it's the last day of the month,
they're not monitoring - what do I
care.
                                                            
                       ERIC
nice.
                                                            
Fernando Del Rey comes up to them.
                                                            
                       FERNANDO
What's up Homies?
      (to Eric)
Happy birthday to you my man! So,
what's the deal? Are we going to
hit the town tonight? cruise for
chicks?
                                                            
Eric gives Joey a look. Joey shruggs him off as if to say
"Sorry, dude."
                                                            
Just then the MANAGER, Ms. Penny walks by them. Fernando
glares at her in delight.
                                                            

9.

                       MANAGER
      (In Passing)
Good Morning guys.
                                                            
                       FERNANDO
      (excited)
I tell you, I'm excited today.
today is a good day.
      (leaning in,
       secretive)
I think today is the day, I ask
Ms. Penny out to dinner.
                                                            
Joey and Eric look at each other.
                                                            
                       ERIC
you're going to ask the Manager,
of the office, out on a date?
                                                            
                       FERNANDO
sure. why not?
                                                            
Joey and Eric look at each other one last time before
shaking their heads.
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - SETH'S DESK - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
Seth Bradford's desk looks like a little boy's toy box.
action figures and posters decorate his cubicle. He is
Playing with one of the toys on his desk, when a call
filters through to his station. He rolls his eyes in
discontent.
                                                            
                       SETH
Thank you for calling SuperCom
                                                            
Seth continues playing with his toy.
                                                            
 
INT. CUSTOMER #3 - LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
An elderly woman nervously dials Customer Service at
SuperCom, Bill in hand. She dreads the automated systems.
                                                            
                       CUSTOMER # 3
      (Nervous)
Are you a robot?
                                                            
 

10.

INT. OFFICE - SETH'S DESK - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
Seth rolls his eyes and hits the mute button on his phone.
                                                            
                       SETH
Yeah, I'm a fuckin' robot.
                                                            
Seth releases the Mute button and continues the call.
                                                            
                       SETH
No ma'am, my name is Seth, How may
I resolve your issues?
                                                            
                       CUSTOMER # 3 (V.O.)
Well, I haven't received my
credit...
                                                            
                       SETH
Credit? yeah, that's a different
department. I'm gonna have to
transer you.
                                                            
Seth hits the hold button, and puts the customer on terminal
hold, or as it's most commonly known around the office, "the
limbo line".

He Walks away whistling a tune, while taking out a
cigarette.
                                                            
 
INT. CUSTOMER #3 - LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
                       CUSTOMER # 3
I've already been
transfered....Hello?
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - LATER - DAY
                                                            
The Site Manager exits her office and addresses the entire
team.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
Can I have everybody's attention,
attention please.

If you haven't already done so,
let's all wish Eric a Happy
Birthday.
                                                            

11.

the office starts with a mediocre Half-ass attempt at a
round of applause. A few happy birthday's here and there.
The only two people that are enthusiastic about this is
Penny, the Manager, and Fernando.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
Today is also the last day of the
Quarter, and you all know what
that means. Now, I've noticed
the scores are a little low this
time guys.
                                                            
Joey and Eric look at each other. Eric feels like he's
being singled out.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
Are we remembering to use our
reference materials? and also we
need to remember to let our smiles
shine through on every call.

Thank you for your efforts
everybody. I will be calling you
all in individually throughout the
day to give you your call monitors
and to go over your review. Good
luck guys.
                                                            
The Manager gracefully makes her way to Eric and Joeys area,
addressing Lori.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
      (in a gracious
       manner)
Lori? could I see you for a minute
Dear?
                                                            
                       LORI
sure.
                                                            
Lori and The Manager walk together to the office.

Seth walks over to Lori's desk carrying a small box, and
starts packing up her stuff, sorting out the coolest things
for himself of course.
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (bewildered)
Dude? What are you doing?
                                                            
                       SETH
Dead weight boys. Dead Weight.
Making room for some new meat.
                                                            

12.

                       JOEY
she's fired?
                                                            
                       SETH
yep.
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (interrupting)
wait a minute. why are you
packing up her shit? did Ms.
Thomas tell you to do it?
                                                            
                       SETH
yep, this morning. She came by
said Lori was getting the ax, and
if I could do her the favor of
packing up her stuff when they
went into the office.
      (pause)
Dude, she's cold as ice. She's
all smiles up until the very end.

you better watch your step
MUCHACHOS.
                                                            
Eric and Joey look at each other. Eric's stomach cringes.
                                                            
Lori steps out of the manager's office crying. Ms. Thomas
has her arm around her and consoles her.

Seth runs up to the two of them and hands Lori her box. Lori
is perplexed at the rush being imposed on her.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
      (rubbing her back
       and handing her a
       tissue)
there, there, now sweetie. it's
going to be okay. you'll see,
everything is going to work out
just fine.
                                                            
                       LORI
      (sobbing)
so, does that mean you'll write me
a letter of recommendation?
                                                            
                       MANAGER
      (all smiles)
Oh sweetie, absolutely not.
                                                            
Seth quickly escorts Lori out the door.


13.

The Manager stands and waves goodbye.

She then turns around and heads to Eric's desk.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
      (as if nothing
       just happened)
Hey Eric! Listen if you're not on
a call, could I see you for a
minute?
                                                            
Eric looks at joey like a man that has just been sentenced
to death.
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (nervously)
Uh, sure. I'll be right in.
                                                            
Manager heads to her office. Eric unplugs the headset and
follows her.

Seth and Joey look at each other.
                                                            
                       SETH
      (reluctantly)
I'll go get another box...
                                                            
 
INT. MANAGER'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
The Site Manager, Penelope "Penny" Thomas holds the door
open as Eric enters her office.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
Come in. have a seat.
                                                            
Eric sits.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
So how are you doing Eric?
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (confused)
I...don't know. you tell me.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
I'll get right to the point.
                                                            
Penny pulls out Eric's latest call monitor and points to the
score. The number 75 appears in big red marker.
                                                            

14.

                       ERIC
      (under his breath)
shit.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
I know, I know. it looks bad, but
- it's technically and error.
      (smiling)
it's an out bound call.
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (realizing)
but I al...
                                                            
                       MANAGER
I know. you've already had an
outbound call monitor this
quarter.
      (offers another
       comforting smile)
It doesn't count. so, you get
another chance.
                                                            
Eric looks at Penny and smiles in relief.
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
Eric walks out of the Managers office with his call monitor
in hand. Seth raises his head out of his cubicle, Joey does
the same.
                                                            
                       JOEY
What happened?
                                                            
                       ERIC
Finally. A Corporate mistake that
works in my favor.
                                                            
                       JOEY
what do you mean?
                                                            
                       ERIC
They monitored an outbound call.
                                                            
                       SETH
so?
                                                            
                       ERIC
I already had an outbound call
monitor last month. 2 inbound, 1
outbound each quarter, that's
company procedure.
                                                            

15.

                       SETH
Wow, I didn't know that.
                                                            
                       ERIC
Why does that not surprise me?
                                                            
                       JOEY
So what happens now?
                                                            
                       ERIC
well, this is the last day.
they'll pick one of my calls from
today and use that.
                                                            
Joey pulls the call monitor from Eric's hand.

The Manager peeks her head out of her office.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
      (calling out)
Seth Bradford.
                                                            
                       SETH
      (to Eric and joey)
It's magic time boys.
                                                            
Seth points to his eye and gives them a "Wink".
                                                            
Fernando has taken this opportunity to talk to Penny as she
stands outside her office waiting for Seth.
                                                            
Seth heads to the managers office with all the confidence of
a superhero.
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - JOEY AND ERIC'S AREA - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
                       JOEY
      (gesturing to the
       low score on the
       paper)
Dude, I know it doesn't
count...but come on, a 75?
                                                            
                       ERIC
I know.
                                                            
Eric takes back the sheet and looks over his review.
Fernando walks up to the two of them.
                                                            
                       ERIC
I remember this call too.
      (addressing his
       review)
            (MORE)

16.

                       ERIC (cont'd)
it even says that the customer was
satisfied. I didn't show enough
"empathy".
      (tossing his
       review aside on
       his desk)
that's bullshit. I was calling HER
back.
                                                            
                       JOEY
I know. It's ridiculous. How do
they distinguish how much empathy
is enough. Every situation is
different. It's almost like...we
can't be real people.
                                                            
                       ERIC
Yeah, like they want us to be
fucking robots.
                                                            
                       FERNANDO
I'm no fucking robot!
                                                            
Seth walks up to the them proudly displaying his review.
                                                            
                       SETH
Chalk up another 100, bitches!
      (as he puts an
       unlit cigarette
       to his lips)
I'm gonna go celebrate. Anybody
care to join me?
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (stunned)
Jesus Christ...
                                                            
                       JOEY
      (equally stunned)
You have another break?
                                                            
                       SETH
Psst! Hell no. I'll just put my
phone on "shit break"...
                                                            
Eric and Joey look at each other - puzzled.
                                                            
                       JOEY
Shit break?
                                                            

17.

                       SETH
Yeah. You know where you put the
customer on hold and transfer them
back into the Que. well it works
for breaks too.
                                                            
                       JOEY
Oh. you mean Limbo Line.
                                                            
                       ERIC
I thought is was Line 99?
                                                            
                       SETH
yeah, whatever...shit break.
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (chuckles in
       disbelief)
Seth, you are by far the worst
employee this company has, but
you're still cool. Your like an
artist. You've perfected your
craft of fucking off and managing
not to get fired.
                                                            
                       SETH
why thank you.
                                                            
                       ERIC
Seriously. I've heard you on the
phone. Some of the things you say
amaze me. Yet, you managed to get
two perfect monitors in a row.
It's like you have some sort of
magical hobbit power.
                                                            
                       SETH
      (sarcastically
       excited)
Really? Magical Hobbit Power!
that's funny because hobbits don't
have magical powers, Genius, Elves
do.
                                                            
Fernando walks up briskly.
                                                            
                       FERNANDO
      (teaming up with
       Seth)
Yeah Genius, Elves do.
                                                            
Eric and Joey look at each other.
                                                            

18.

                       ERIC
Whatever man. The point is I bust
my ass here and, it doesn't seem
to matter. I almost wish they
would fire me just to get out of
here.
                                                            
                       SETH
How pathetic would that be,
getting fired on your Birthday.

Oh, quit your bitching. You
should come with. Cool off a
little.
                                                            
Seth shakes his cigarette pack as if to tempt Eric to come
with him.
                                                            
                       ERIC
how many times....you're
unbelievable.
                                                            
Seth and Fernando leave.
                                                            
                       JOEY
      (getting up and
       sliding his chair
       back to his desk)
Well, I'll see you later, I'm
going to lunch.
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (another blanket
       of frustration
       falls over him)
Oh, right. Noon, a normal lunch
time.
      (pause)
2:15. That's what they give me
today. What kind of an odd ball
time is that? I'm hungry now!
                                                            
                       JOEY
      (pats Eric on the
       back)
hang in there buddy.
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (shaking it off)
I'm fine. enjoy your lunch.
                                                            
Joey walks away.


19.

Eric pauses. He stops to listen...Nothing. nothing but
silence. He hears the phones ringing, but no voices.

Eric slowly lifts himself out of the chair and pops his head
outside the cubicle to see that his suspicions were true, he
was all alone in the office.

The Manager pops her head out of her office.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
There are calls waiting in the
Que!
                                                            
Eric looks around the office in disgust as the PHONE RINGS
off the hook.
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (reluctantly
       answers the phone)
Thank you for calling SuperCom, My
name is Eric - I'm capable of
resolving your issues. How may i
help you...
                                                            
 
INT. BREAKROOM - DAY
                                                            
Joey sits alone in the break room, unpacking his lunch for
the day. A diet coke, and a ham and cheese sandwich.

Seth comes strolling in and heads straight for the snack
machine
                                                            
                       JOEY
Still on shit break?
                                                            
                       SETH
Na, I just need the rich chocolaty
goodness of a Kit-Kat bar to get
my blood flowing.
                                                            
Joey Shakes his head and returns to his lunch.
                                                            
                       SETH
Son of a Bitch! Their all out of
Kit-Kats!
                                                            
                       JOEY
So.
                                                            
                       SETH
I wanted a fucking Kit-Kat bar.
                                                            

20.

                       JOEY
Get a twix. It's almost the same
thing.
                                                            
Seth turns around appalled at what Joey just said to him.
                                                            
                       SETH
No it's not! That's like saying
ground turkey is the same thing as
ground beef. Yeah, they're both
ground meat, but a Turkey and a
Cow are two different animals.
                                                            
Joey looks at Seth in amazement.
                                                            
                       JOEY
What?!
                                                            
                       SETH
Dude, twix is chocolate covered
Carmel, Kit-Kats are chocolate
covered wafers. That's a huge
difference.

Have you even tasted a Kit-Kat?
                                                            
                       JOEY
Uh, yeah. I got one right here.
                                                            
Joey pulls a kit-kat bar out of his bag. Seth's eyes light
up.
                                                            
                       SETH
Dude! You had that this whole
time?
                                                            
                       JOEY
Yeah, I brought it for lunch.
                                                            
                       SETH
Give me half of it.
                                                            
                       JOEY
Hell no.
                                                            
                       SETH
Com'on. What do you want for it?
                                                            
                       JOEY
What do you got?
                                                            
Seth looks in his pockets and pulls out 50 cents.
                                                            

21.

                       JOEY
Ha, forget it.
                                                            
                       SETH
Dammit.
      (pause)
I'll buy you a beer tonight.
                                                            
Seth's offer strikes Joey's attention.
                                                            
                       JOEY
Just, a beer?
                                                            
Seth lets out a sigh of defeat.
                                                            
                       SETH
Ok, ok, two beers.
                                                            
Joey slides the Kit-Kat over to Seth.
                                                            
                       JOEY
You just bought yourself a Kit-Kat
bar, my friend.
                                                            
Seth rips open the package and takes a big bite out of the
Kit-Kat and moans like he's having an orgasm.
                                                            
                       SETH
That's so good, I think I need
another cigarette.
                                                            
Seth exits the break room. Joey chuckles at him and returns
to his lunch.
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - ERIC'S DESK - DAY
                                                            
Eric is on the phone, bored out of his mind.
                                                            
                       ERIC
I'm still here ma'am.
                                                            
 
INT. KITCHEN - DAY
                                                            
A woman, on the verge of losing her mind carries a toddler
in one hand, and trying to rustle up three more children
while attempting to go over her bill.
                                                            
                       CUSTOMER # 5
      (stressed out)
oh good.
      (yelling at a
       child off screen)
            (MORE)

22.

                       CUSTOMER # 5 (cont'd)
Hey! get back over here!
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - ERIC'S DESK - DAY
                                                            
                       CUSTOMER # 5 (v.o.)
      (addressing Eric)
I'm sorry, Yeah, anyway like I was
saying...
      (to the kids)
What did I tell you about playing
in the kitty litter box!
      (to Eric)
you'll have to excuse me...
                                                            
                       ERIC
Oh no, ma'am. I understand, take
your time.
                                                            
                       CUSTOMER # 5 (v.o.)
Thank you, it's just with 4
kids...
      (to the kids)
Hey! stop doing that to your
sister you little pervert!
                                                            
Eric's widen in disbelief.

Joey comes back from lunch.
                                                            
                       CUSTOMER # 5 (v.o.)
      (inaudible)
mmm...ghrhdh...lthyhgg.
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (trying to
       decipher what is
       being said)
Uh, Ma'am?
                                                            
 
INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
A toddler is holding the phone receiver and talking (Baby
Talk) into it.

*In the background out of focus and silhouetted is the
Mother spanking another child*.
                                                            
 

23.

INT. OFFICE - ERIC'S DESK - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
Eric looks around as if to say "what do I do?" He then hears
a click and a dial tone. The toddler must have hung up the
phone.
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - JOEY'S DESK - LATER - DAY
                                                            
Joey's phone RINGS. he answers it.
                                                            
                       JOEY
Thank you for calling SuperCom.
I'm capable of resolving your
issues. How may I help you?
                                                            
                       CUSTOMER #4
Hi...I was calling about my bill.
Yeah -
      (straining
       slightly)
it's a little high this month...ah
*PLOP*
                                                            
It's obvious to Joey that the customer is on the toilet. He
covers his mic, and addresses Eric.
                                                            
                       JOEY
      (to Eric)
I think this guy is taking a shit.
      (back to customer)
Uh, sir? could I get your account
number?
                                                            
 
INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
Customer sits on the toilet with his bill in hand.
                                                            
                       CUSTOMER #4
sure.
      (pausing for the
       drop)
*plop* ahhhh. ok, it's 3410006...
                                                            
The customer loses grip on the pages and they fall to the
floor. The Customer shifts his position and suddenly the
cell phone falls down between his legs and into the toilet.
Embarrassed, the customer looks around. He slowly reaches
in to get it.
                                                            
 

24.

INT. OFFICE - JOEY AND ERIC'S AREA - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
The call disconnects.
                                                            
                       JOEY
hello? sir?
      (turning to Eric)
I think he fell in.
                                                            
Eric removes his headset and logs off his station.
                                                            
                       ERIC
I'm going to lunch.
                                                            
Joey's phone begins to ring.
                                                            
                       JOEY
      (Whispering)
Later.
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - JOEY'S DESK - DAY
                                                            
answering the call.
                                                            
                       JOEY
Thank you for calling SuperCom.
I'm capable of resolving your
issues. How may I help you?
                                                            
                       CUSTOMER # 3 (v.o.)
hello?
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
The same little old lady from earlier today calls back,
sounding even more confused than before.
                                                            
                       CUSTOMER # 3
      (continuing to
       press buttons on
       the receiver)
...oh I hope I'm doing this
right...Hello?
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - JOEY'S DESK - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
                       JOEY
Ma'am? How may I help you?
                                                            

25.

Silence. All that is heard are the sounds of papers
shuffling and the nervous moans of the old lady in the
background.

Fernando walks up to Joey's cubicle.
                                                            
                       FERNANDO
      (whispering)
Mrs. Thomas wants to see you.
                                                            
                       JOEY
      (to Fernando,
       whispering)
thanks.
      (returning to the
       call)
ma'am, I'm going to put you on
hold for just a second.
      (Puts the lady on
       Hold and
       Transfers it)
sorry but...Welcome to the Limbo
Line.
                                                            
He completes his scheme, and walks off to the managers
office.
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
The old lady brings the receiver back up to her ear.
                                                            
                       CUSTOMER # 3
hello? hello?
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - SETH'S DESK - DAY
                                                            
Seth returns from one of his many "smoke" breaks.

He notices a hand written message for a customer call back.

He attaches his headset and dials the number.
                                                            
 
INT. BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
PHONE RINGS.

A couple are on the bed having vigorous sex.

Their wild romp intensifies and someone kicks the phone off
the nightstand.
                                                            
 

26.

INT. OFFICE - SETH'S DESK - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
Seth hears the steamy action taking place on the other end
of the line. He looks around and crouches down in his
cubicle like Gollum from Lord of the Rings with his
precious.

With every scream of the woman Seth cringes in delight.
Enjoying every minute of it.
                                                            
 
INT. BREAK ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Eric sits in the break room alone. He picks up the last
piece of his sandwich and stares at it for a moment.
                                                            
He stuffs the entire piece of sandwich in his mouth. Before
he can chew and swallow, the Manager, Ms. Thomas, walks into
the break room.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
Oh. Hey Eric.
                                                            
Eric gives her a half salute half wave due to his mouth
being full of sandwich. She smiles at him and walks over to
the snack machine.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
Aw. They're all out of Kit-Kats.

I guess I just have to get a twix
instead. They're almost the same
anyway.
                                                            
She gets her snack from the machine and then unexpectedly
walks over and sits down in front of Eric. Eric finishes
chewing and swallows.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
So, how are you coming along?
                                                            
                       ERIC
Uh, I don't know. Probably not as
good as I need to be.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
Listen, don't worry so much. Just
relax, be natural and you'll do
fine.

Take your time, and enjoy your
lunch.
                                                            

27.

                       ERIC
Thanks.
                                                            
Fernando Spots Penny from the door and and starts heading
her way.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
      (under her breath)
Oh My God. not again...
      (to Eric)
I gotta go.
                                                            
She attempts to make a break for the door without having to
talk to Fernando. She makes up an excuse and dodges the
conversation.

Eric sits and contemplates her advice for a moment, then
continues with his lunch.
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - ERIC'S DESK - DAY
                                                            
Eric returns from lunch and sits down at his cubical. Joey
sits at his desk looking over his review.
                                                            
                       ERIC
so what did you get?
                                                            
                       JOEY
      (holding up his
       call monitor)
a 95.
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (under his breath)
shit.
                                                            
Eric's phone RINGS. Joey goes to his seat.
                                                            
                       ERIC
Thank you for calling SuperCom.
I'm capable of resolving your
issues. How may I help you?
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
You guessed it.
                                                            

28.

                       CUSTOMER # 3
      (shacking with
       nerves)
Hello? Hello? Please... I need
help. please.
                                                            
                       ERIC (v.o)
      (calming and
       reassuring)
ma'am, ma'am, ma'am. I'm here to
help you. take a deep breath
      (taking a deep
       breath with the
       customer)
deep breath, relax. Okay.
      (Pause)
Now what can help you with.
                                                            
The old woman takes a deep sigh of relief, calms down and
smiles.
                                                            
                       CUSTOMER # 3
      (finally at ease)
thank you.
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - ERIC'S DESK - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
                       ERIC
Why don't we start by giving me
your account number. that way I
can familiarize my self with your
account. it's at the top right
hand corner of your bill.
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
The old woman squints at the papers before her and shuffles
them back and forth.
                                                            
                       CUSTOMER # 3
      (shuffling and
       searching the
       papers)
I'm looking for it. please be
patient with me sweetie. these
things confuse me. (Improv)usually
my granddaughter is here and helps
me with this but she not here...
                                                            
 

29.

INT. OFFICE - ERIC'S DESK - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
Eric rolls his eyes. He knows this is going to be a very
long call.

He looks at his watch. 4:20pm. Not long now. He needs to
stay tough just a little longer.
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (squeezing the
       bridge of his
       nose)
Take all the time you need ma'am.
                                                            
Seth RUNS up to the cubicle.

Eric presses the mute button on the call while the woman
continues ranting about her granddaughter and family, ect..
                                                            
                       SETH
      (sweating and out
       of breath)
sup?
                                                            
                       JOEY
      (grossed out by
       the look of Seth
       all sweaty)
What the hell happened to you?
                                                            
                       SETH
      (panting)
Me? Well, I think I just had a
threesome.
                                                            
Joey and Eric both laugh it off and return to their
respective calls.
                                                            
                       SETH
      (adamantly)
No, seriously guys, I think I just
got laid!
                                                            
Mrs. Thomas (the Manager) walks passed Seth standing there
at Eric's cubicle with his head set still on his head. She
stops and comes back to Seth.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
Mr. Bradford. Is there a reason
you are away from your station
with your headset on? I do
believe there are calls in the
que.
                                                            

30.

                       SETH
      (quick on his toes)
Oh. yeah. Well the box for my
head set is broken. so...
                                                            
                       MANAGER
      (slightly annoyed)
well, I'll get Tech Support to put
a priority on that right away.
                                                            
Fernando pops his head out of his cubicle.
                                                            
                       FERNANDO
Hello Ms. Penny.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
Hello Fernando.
                                                            
                       FERNANDO
Could I have a word with you when
you get a moment?
                                                            
                       MANAGER
      (hurried)
It's going to have to be later
Fernando, I have a pressing issue
to tend to. but we'll talk later.
                                                            
She walks (Runs) away on route to tech.
                                                            
                       FERNANDO
      (impressed)
That woman...she has a fire unlike
any woman i've ever met.
                                                            
                       SETH
      (putting a
       cigarette in his
       mouth)
Yeah buddy!

Well, I'm going to take a smoke
break while they take care of
my...technical issue.
      (walking away,
       addressing joey
       and Eric)
back in ten ladies.
      (gestures for Eric
       to take a
       Cigarette)
yeah?
                                                            

31.

Eric shoots Seth the bird. Seth leaves.

Joey finishes his call and takes his scheduled break.

Back to Eric on the phone with the Old Woman.
                                                            
                       ERIC
How are we doing ma'am?
                                                            
                       CUSTOMER # 3 (v.o.)
I'm still looking sweetie.
                                                            
                       ERIC
take your time.
                                                            
 
EXT. SUPERCOM CALL CENTER - DAY
                                                            
Seth sits with one leg propped up on a bench. Coca Cola in
one hand and a cigarette in the other. Joey comes out to
join him in a smoke.
                                                            
                       SETH
sup bra!
                                                            
                       JOEY
      (getting a
       cigarette from
       Seth)
So I take it you're getting a good
raise?
                                                            
                       SETH
You bet your sweet ass I am.
                                                            
                       JOEY
Eric's really stressing. I feel
bad for him. He has the worst
luck sometimes. I just hope it
all works out.
                                                            
                       SETH
He'll be fine. we'll go out and
celebrate tonight, and if not,
Hey...we'll go drinkin' anyway.
      (getting up and
       belching
       obnoxiously loud)
Cuz I'm ready to get fuckin'
drunk!
      (patting joey on
       the back)
see you inside.
                                                            

32.

Seth goes back in the building. Joey sits and finishes his
cigarette.
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - SETH'S DESK - DAY
                                                            
Seth walks up to his cubicle just as the Tech Guy is
completing his work order. To Seth's surprise, the Tech Guy
is done up head to toe in a storm trooper costume. Seth,
being the star wars fan that he is, is in awe.
                                                            
                       TECH GUY
Excuse me. Is this your
workstation?
                                                            
                       SETH
yeah.
                                                            
Seth excitedly examines every square inch of the costume as
the tech guy talks to him.
                                                            
                       TECH GUY
you had the problem with the
headset?
                                                            
                       SETH
yeah.
                                                            
                       TECH GUY
      (annoyed)
well, it seems to be fine. I
checked it.
                                                            
                       SETH
dude. that suit is awesome!

why are you...
                                                            
Seth grabs the helmet and starts playing with it.
                                                            
                       TECH GUY
      (angrily filling
       out the work
       order)
I was on my way to fan-club
meeting, when I received a page
about a HIGH PRIORITY service
call.

I can't believe I got called in
for this.
                                                            

33.

The tech guy slaps a copy of the work order on the desk and
prepares to leave.
                                                            
                       TECH GUY
can I have my helmet back, please.
                                                            
                       SETH
      (heavy breathing -
       Like Darth Vader)
Luke...I am your father...
                                                            
                       TECH GUY
Wrong villan, genius.
                                                            
Seth puts his arm around the tech guy and proceeds to escort
him out.
                                                            
                       SETH
      (Helmet on and
       walking away)
so, you guys meet every month
huh...Hey do you smoke?
                                                            
 
INT. JOEY AND ERIC'S AREA - CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
Seth and the Tech Guy arrive at Joey and Eric's area.
                                                            
                       SETH
you guys wanna grab a quick smoke
and check out the millennium
falcon with me and the captain
here.
                                                            
                       ERIC
What do you think? Some of us
actually do work, at work.
                                                            
                       SETH
      (Imitates the
       Emperor)
Let go of your hate... Join the
Dark Side of the Force.
                                                            
Seth and the Tech Guy leave laughing.
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - ERIC'S DESK - LATER - DAY
                                                            
Eric is leaning way back in his chair on the same call with
the old woman.
He looks at his watch. It reads 4:55pm. He rolls his eyes.


34.


Joey is at his station packing up for the day.
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (on phone with the
       woman)
That's right ma'am. The amount in
big bold black print is the
current amount due...
      (pause)
...for this month, correct.
                                                            
                       JOEY
Is that the same call?
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (hits the mute
       button and
       addresses joey)
yes... She's going on and on about
nonsense, I have to keep reeling
her back in.
      (lets out a huge
       sigh)
I have to endure...just five more
minutes.
                                                            
                       JOEY
Well you're coming out with us
tonight, right?
                                                            
                       ERIC
Man, I don't know.
      (motioning towards
       the manager's
       office)
I haven't heard anything yet. I
have to wait after this call to
see.

I'm just not feeling it, go on
without me.
                                                            
                       JOEY
      (patting Eric on
       the back and
       walking off)
Alright Man. but hey, call me
when you leave here any way let me
know what happened.
      (further away)
stay positive.
                                                            

35.

                       ERIC
      (switching off the
       mute button)
yes ma'am. no absolutely. you
were no trouble at all. That's
what we're here for.
      (feeling a sense
       of success)
Well, now you have my personal
extension that way anytime you
have a question you can reach me
personally.
      (pause)
well thank you very much for doing
business with SuperCom and you
have a wonderful night.
                                                            
Eric ends the call, smiles, removes his headset and begins
packing up for the day.

Just then, Mrs. Thomas (the Manager) walks up to Eric's
cubicle.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
Excellent job on that last call.
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (realizing that
       was the call they
       were monitoring)
Oh.
      (smiling)
thank you.
      (pause)
so...I guess that means...
                                                            
                       MANAGER
      (Smiles and winks)
Congratulations.
      (walking away)
Now get out of here and go
celebrate. I'll see you on
Monday.
                                                            
A Blanket of relief falls over Eric. He takes a breath as
if taking a breath for the first time.

His cell phone RINGS. It's Seth.
                                                            

36.

                       SETH (v.o.)
      (noise of the bar
       in the background)
where you at? bring your ass!
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (walking towards
       the door)
I'm on my way.
                                                            
Eric heads for the door.

(Fernando is seen in the background, He finally got Penny
to talk to him.)

Eric stops before opening the front door and takes one last
look behind into the office.
                                                            
                       ERIC
      (smirking - Into
       the Camera)
God...I hate this place.
                                                            
Eric walks out.
                                                            
Additional Scenes
                                                            
Two Weeks later...

Penny suddenly retired and the new office manager came
highly recommended, Seth Bradford.

Reason for Penny leaving...she finally accepts a date from
Fernando and finds out he's a Prince from an the island near
Malta off the coast of Italy and accepts his proposal for
marriage. They now live happily in their royal estate by
the sea.

Lori, you know, that girl they fired. well turns out they
literally threw her out the door, causing her to shatter her
knee. She settled out of court with SuperCom for a
considerable amount money.

Joey, well, Joey is Joey. He still works at SuperCom and is
content where he is.

And what about Eric...

Well Eric is currently drawing unemployment...which is
comparable to what he was making at SuperCom.

Oh, yeah, he also started smoking.
                                                            

37.

Oh, And you remember the Tech Guy? Well it turns out he's
not the innocent nerd we all thought him to be. Turns out
his home was raided and he was arrested by the FBI for
running an illegal sci-fi fetish prostitution website;
Star-whores.com. He is currently facing 25 years in the
state pen.
                                                            


FADE OUT.


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From Tiffany Rowbotham Date 1/31/2009 ****
I am in love with this screenplay. I actually work in a call center and I have to admit that this entire story reminded me of one one my own days at work. I relate to this story in every way which is why i think it is so great. Very truthful of an actual call center environment...great job! I look forward to reading more of your work.


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