Home Screenwriting Products Screenwriter Community Screenwriting Store
ScriptBuddy - Screenwriting Software for the Web

Screenwriter Community

Back to List of Published Screenplays
View/Leave Feedback

Backwards from 100
by Gabriel martinez (gbmrtinez@hotmail.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Horror   User Review: ***
violence and gore

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



a woman is running down a pathway in the park, lots of
trees.its raining hard, and she is holding an umbrella,
suddenly she runs into a man in a raincoat, we cannot see
the mans face
      (out of breath)
oh excuse me! i must not have seen
you with all this rain (beat) well
have a good night
she turns to walk away when the mans hand reaches out and
grabs her by the hair. her scream is muffled by a clap of
thunder and we see her lifeless bloodied body lit by a flash
of lightning
                                         CUT TO:
A teacher is sitting in a desk holding a bunch of papers, a
story. theres a full book case behind him, his desk is
neatly organized, a nameplate that reads , THOMSON is
clearly visible.He carries an air of confidence bordering on
snobbyness, he peers out over his glasses at the student
sitting in front of him.
This is good work CARL, very good
work, which is exactly what i've
come to expect from you these past
four years. (beat) the main
character interests me, he
believes himself invincible
almost, untouchable, as if he is
in a way divine, an angel of
death; intriguiing.


well thats why i came to see you
proffesor, im stuck. i have no
idea where to go from here. (beat)
im sick of the same stories the
same thing, theres only so much
you can do with a serial killer
novel. im just...im lost i dont
know where to go.
Your lost? well youve done this
twice before, wouldnt you have the
hang of it by now?
Carl stands up and paces, he is about 25 and stands about
six foot tall. he stops and look out the window.
theres more out there professor,
YOU taught me that, theres always
something else just beneath the
surface. thats what im looking
for, i wont write another plain
murder mystery.
thats what i like to hear, always
striving to move forward always
looking to take the next step.
Writing is evolution Mr. Huber. im
glad to see someone learned that.
Well i think i have something that
might help you, unfortunatley its
not with me now but if you cant
make any progress come back and
see me. ill be out of town for the
weekend, im attending a lecture on
Stephen King, even I have a thing
or two left to learn (laughs)
well i dont really have time to
keep thinking about this, my agent
is breathing down my neck and i


                       CARL (cont'd)
got a deadline coming up really
soon, i need to finish this book.
i appreciate the help, thank you
Mr. Thompson, youve always been
such a great mentor.
Carl walks out of the office leaving Thompson alone. he
turns to his bookcase, we see the titles of his books all
seem to be gruesome at best. "it killed me one night"
"bloody bloody blood bath" and "black my eyes and slit my
throat" were among some of the titles. he plucks one off the
shelf as a eerie smile creeps across his face.
Carl exits the building and walks down the steps and right
up to a beautiful girl in gymn shorts and a tank top,
talking to her friend.
      (walking away)
ok, Bye TANYA
Tanya trns to carl, she wraps her arms around him and plants
a kiss on his cheek.
So any words of wisdom fom your
creepy guru?
he's not creepy...just...
passionate about what he does. And
yes he said he may have something
that can help me.
the couple starts walking away from the building and through
the campus.


well if he's helping you out ill
cut him some slack but theres just
something with him, ugh i dont why
you look up to him so much, he
makes me uncomfortable.
well he is the one of the leading
experts of the murder mystery
genre which just so happens to be
where im at right now, so if he's
a little eccentric, whatever, he's
helping me out so hes ok with me.
ok i'll leave it alone, now lets
grab something to eat,my
kickboxing class really wore me
out and im starving
well id hate for you to beat me up
so we'll go wherever you want.
car is driving down the highway, there is another car with
its hazard lights on on the side of the road. the car pulls
up behind the vehicle and the headlights reveal a man with
his arm in a sling struggling to replace a flat tire. he
shields his eyes from the blinding headlghts as a man exits
the car and walks towards him, his face is not visible.
Hey friend! thanks for stopping,
i've been trying to replace this
tire for about half an hour now.
no ones driven by so ive been on
my own
The MYSTERY MAN reaches out and the traveller hands him the
tire iron and crouches down to show the tire damage.


i almost lost control when it blew
out but....
The tire iron comes crashing down on the back of his head
with brutal force. theres a splash of blood and his body
goes limp, but that doesnt stop the blows from coming.
                                         CUT TO:
CARL wakes up at his computer.
where was I?
he begins typing a few words, stops and looks around the
room. it is a simple apartment with all the basic
furnishings, pictures of himself and TANYA as well as of him
and his parents. everything is neat and tidy. his gaze stops
on framed newspaper clipping, it reads: "highschool senior
publishes best seller". he sighs, looks at his empty coffee
mug and gets up. his phone rings
hello?! yes yes i was just working
on it! look you have to quit
hounding me about all this, we
will talk about the movie when i
get back.....no i cant go back
right now i need to be
here......look this is where it
started, this is where i'll finish
it. good bye!
he hangs up
this just isnt working
he picks up his phone and dials


Proffessor Thompson, hi, its Carl,
                       THOMSON (V.O.)
Well hello Carl, hows the riting
coming along?
Well thats the problem actually,
its ot coming along at all.
i see, well than i have something
that can help, why dont you stop
by and ill give it to you.
ok, well i wasnt going to be on
campus today, i'll just send Tanya
by to pick it up.
THOMSON looks down at a box of cassette tapes.
actually, you know what. it seems
i am mistaken, i thought i brought
them to the office with me but i
cant find them right now. (beat)
why dont i just meet up with you
later and i'll give them to you.
ok that sounds fine, by the way
what exactly is it your giving me?
some tapes, well its hypnosis
really, it helps you relax your
mind and opens your mind to new
pathways and alows you to really
reach into your subconsious, ive
had some of my best ideas come to


                       THOMSON (cont'd)
me after hypnosis sessions, other
authors do the same thing when
they hit wrters block.
well that makes sense, ill see you
he fills up his coffee mug goes back to his desk and sits
down. sighing, he begins finger pecking the keyboard.
Carl and Tanya are eating ice cream. tanya s wearing jeans
and a t-shirt
Hypnosis huh? sounds fishy, i
never liked that whole people
pokin around in your subconscious
and making you quack like a duck
thing. too intrusive for my
normally i wouldnt be so gung ho
for it either but the simple fact
of the matter is that i have a
deadline and i dont want to settle
for anything less than another
best seller. i mean....you know
the things they said about my
second book. besides my agent
called me again this morning, he
doesnt understand i had to move
back here to clear my head, all
the STUFF i have back in new york,
its just too much to let me think.
besides i couldnt stay away from
you much longer


well, i wont argue with that, but
i will argue with staying here any
more, its time to go.
Tanya says this, while looking over crls shoulder at a guy
who just walked into the ice cream shop, he sees her and
blows a kiss. Carl follows her gaze and he makes eye
hey there writer boy
hows it going TODD?
Tanya stands up and motions for Carl to follow her, they
start walking for the door.
im just waiting for you to realise
your out of your league, writer
boy, Tanya needs a real man, aint
that right sweetheart?
as he says this Todd reaches and pinches Tanyas butt as she
walks by.
in a flash tanya spins around grabs Todds wristand twists
his arm behind his back, then she slams into the wall.
If you want to stay a "real" man,
you better nt ever touch me again.
Got it?
      (In pain)
Got It.


she releases him and storms out of the ice cream shop, Carl
hot on her heels. Todd holding his wrist, looks around and
tries to recover from his embarrassment.
      (nervous laugh)
its ok, she knows i like it rough.
Tanya is walking briskly down the sidewalk , carl runs to
catch up to her
hey i was gonna handle that!
no Carl, nno you werent. you would
have told him not to touch your
girlfriend, or threatened him, or
maybe even thrown in some language
for good measure, but you wouldnt
have done anything. he isnt afraid
of you.
what are you trying to say? that
im a wimp?
No thats not what im saying, look
your a lover, not a fighter. i
know that, its what i love about
you. one of us has to be the level
headed on right? come here.
she grabs in a hug, and kisses him.
yeah whatever, im just gonna
ignore that for now. i got to go
meet Thomson.
      (walking away)


                       CARL (cont'd)
Dont forget to make those dinner
a red toyota avalon is driving along the road, obviously in
a hurry as it speeds into a turn, and cuts off, an oncoming
vehicle. the vehicle Honks overexaggeratively as it slams on
its breaks, the two cars pull up to a stop light and the
driver that honked gets out and walks up to the driver door
of the avalon, and starts yelling at the driver.
what the hell is wrong you ? you
stupid prick! all u types is the
same you think u own the fu...
a hand reaches out the window and wraps itself around the
mans throat, with a quick and violent squeeze you hear the
sickening Crack of the mans trachea being crushed. The light
turns green, and the Avalon drives off leaving the man
holding his throat, suffocating trying to gasp for air to no
avail, until he fall lifeless in the middle of the road.
                                         CUT TO:
      (reading papers)
yes, i can definately see some
room for improvement on these
recent sections. its good....but
lacking. I'm Anxious, to see what
you come up with after a few
hypnosis sessions.
yeah i just havent beeen able to
come up with something good
lately. ill pretty much try
anything right now.


well i can definatley say that
these tapes will open up new
...avenues to explore. you may
just find something you never even
knew you had inside you.
as writers we have a certain
responsibilty, to ourselves, and
to others....we need make every
possible attempt to constantly
better our work, you understand?
oh yes i understand that critics
are cruel, and nothing short ofa
best seller will keep the masses
happy, thanks for the tapes
professor, i got to run.
carl walks out of the coffee shop, box in hand and as he
does so he walks past a line of cars, one red, blue, green,
and white car.
he sets the box down on his bed and goes into his closet,
after rmmaging around for a second or two he pulls out an
old looking cassette player and headphones. he sticks in
tape one, puts on the headphones, lays down and closes his
                       TAPE (V.O.)
relax.....take deep breaths...and
begin counting backwords....
Todd is walking his dog, a german shepard, down the street
its late at night. suddenly his dog hears a noise, it stops,
pricks up its ears and listens, todd looks aroud obviously
thrown off by the dogs instincts.


Who is out there?......hello?"
Dog begins walking towards alley
NO! get back here Butch!
he yanks back on the leash just as a figure emerges from the
shadows, he looks at the figure obviously afraid, then
looses the dog on him.
Sick em!
from this point the rest plays out in a shaky montage, the
dog rnning towards the man, the man swinging the bat, the
dog yelping, then Todd starts to run but the man hits him in
the leg with the bat, you hear the crack of his knee and
then see the final blow brought down squarely on his head.
Carl and Tanya are walking through the courtyard
it was ok, i guess. i dont know i
dont remember really anything
about it, im pretty sure i just
fell asleep. i havent gotten any
ideas for my story yet thats for
well it probably takes time, dont
give up on it yet. i know you got
all sorts of interesting things
locked up in that evil little mind
of yours.


why yes i do, and if you dont play
your cards right you just might
find a few of them out first hand.
stop trying to scare me!
alright sweet heart, well i got to
get going ill see you later today.
tanya kisses Carl on the cheek and they go their separate
ways. Tanya walks to her next class where she is stopped by
a man in a suit, he sticks a police badge in her face.
Excuse me, are you Miss Tanya
yes...yes i am
your coming with me, your wanted
under suspicion of the murder of
Todd Downey
                                         CUT TO:
tanya is sitting at one side of a chrome table, she looks
weathered, exhausted. the detective walks back in with a
fresh cup of coffee in hand.
i can do this all day long Tanya.
tell me what you know!
i cant tell you anything else!! i
didnt do it!


oh yes and ive never heard that
before! you have no alibi,
you were at home alone! ha! you
had a confrontation with him
the day before where you
threatened him!
the detective is yelling at her, tanya cringes every time he
raises his voice and tears begin to run down her cheek, he
throws a manila folder onto the table and opens it. gruesome
photos of an unrecognisable corpse obviously beaten
horribly. tanya ses the photos and pulls bak, revolted, she
gags and looks away
that is Todd!! cant recognise him?
thats because his face was beat
into a pulp! we had to use
fingerprints to identify him,
maybe you recognize his dog Butch?
the throws another photo in front of her, the dog is
similarly beaten into a pulp
Tanya is now crying she ceases to talk completley and just
i didnt do it, i dont know
anything, i could never...please
let me go. you have no evidence
against me, you have to let me go.
.....ok, you can go. but if you
hear ANYTHING! you better call me
carl puts in the next tape, slides the headphones on, lays
down and closes his eyes.


lets give this another try....
                       TAPE (V.O.)
Relax.... take deep
breaths....begin counting
backwards from one hundred....
after a few moments of darkness, Carl begins to see a
variety of images, in a violent montage he sees a knife,
bloody hands, a trash bin, a shadow of someone violently
stabbing at something, a wild lion ripping the insides out
of its downed prey, and then he sees himself oly he darker,
ominous. he wakes up in a fevered sweat, nearly jumping out
of his bed. after pulling the headphones from his ears, he
lays back down.
tanya is sitting alone at a table, she has tears in her eyes
as she opens her phone to look at the time, she attempts to
call carl but gets no answer.
carl is standing up talking to thomson who is calmly seated
at his desk
i think im finally starting to see
my character in a new way, i think
im beginning to understand him
good, good. see the mind is an
amazing tool once it is unlocked,
and unlocking the mind, is freeing
the mind. when your mind is free
you can accomplish anything you
see, writing is that medium, it
can free our minds it can open our


Carl's phone rings, he sees that it is Tanya and ignores the
...yeah... well i just wanted to
thank you for your help, im going
to keep doing the hypnosis
sessions, its really given my
writing a boost. also i'd like you
to proofread the latest sections
if you get a chance. I mentioned
the tapes to my agent and he is
just as excited about all of this
as i am. you really saved me
Oh i will most definately pour
over these as soon as i can, good
day Mr. Huber.
a middle aged woman casually walks through the parking lot
towards the entrance, a familiar personage is shadowing her.
our mystery man walks unnoticed into the church moments
after she enters.
the woman walks briskly to the front and lights a few
candles, she begins to pray, the church is empty except for
two elderly women completley engrossed in ther hail marys.
The Mysteryman studies the woman for a moment, then makes
his way towards the confessional. he sits in the priests
side of the booth and pulls out a shimmering blade and cuts
a imperceptible slit in the partition. still his face is
never shown.the door opens and in walks the woman, she sits.
forgive me father for i have


the blade comes through the partition like a lightning bolt.
she never even had a chance to open her eyes, her shirt
drenched in the blood flowing from throat, sliced so deep
her vocal cords were dethached, her lips moving as if in
silent prayer.
carl drops onto his bed headphones already on, he presses
play and the images begin. he sees himself. carl is walking
down the street when a THUG comes out of the shadows
brandishing a switchblade. he corrals Carl into an alley.
empty your pockets prettyboy!
empty them now!
i dont have anything you want.
walk away.
just give me your wallet! I'll cut
you good if you dont do what i
carl puts his hands in his pockets with air of boredom.
and if you dont do what i say im
going pull your tiny little
eyeballs out of that skull of
yours before cutting out your
delicious little heart.
Carl smiles. caught off gaurd by what he just heard and the
strange smile, the thug loweres his weapon slightly. carl
seizes the moment and brings a pen out of his pocket and
slams it into the thugs eye with such force, it embedded
itself in his brain. smiling still, carl reaches down, grabs


the switchblade, lifts it over his head and brings it down
squarely in the Thugs chest.
tanya comes into the ice cream shop and sits down at the
table with carl
where the hell have you been? ive
been calling you trying to get
ahold of you! and you have been
completely unreachable! do you
know what i've been through these
past few days?! i got taken in for
interrogation about Todds murder!
Todd was murdered?! they thought
you did it? what the hell? why?!
how was he murdered? tell me how
the detective actedin the
interrogation, it will be good for
my book
good for your book? i just told
you i went through hell and you
want me to give you pointers for
your book? what is wrong with you?
is that all you care about?!
in the background there is a man laughing obnoxiously, he
tells a stupid joke and laughs some more, carl takes notice.
look its just these tapes! they
have me so focused, im so
determined, i can feel my
character inside of me fighting to
get out and im lettting him out on
paper, the dreams give me such
amazing ideas!


dreams, now you can remember your
dreams you have while under
the man laughing in the background is growing louder and you
can see it is bothering carl
it was so vivid! i am coming up
with things i never even thought
of before, and im getting so deep
into the character i even see
myself as him.i should have
started doing this hypnosis thing
a long time ago.
yeah.. most people wouldnt call
that dream they would call it a
nightmare, and then they would go
see a psychiatrist. you, well your
just as excited as can be about
it. its creepy.
oh dont be like that, you know how
good this has been for my book,im
writing like theres no tomorrow
now. its great.
the man starts laughing even louder now and carl stands up
from his table walks over to the man and slams his face down
onto the table breaking his plate and sending utensils and
cups everywhere. the people at the table with the man freeze
in terror
what the hell are you doing?!
he got on my nerves, so i did
something about it, lets get out
of here.


no! have you gone crazy? you could
have killed him, theres a thing
called restraint, you attacked him
restraint? hes still alive! thats
restraint for ya. im out of here!
carl storms out of the ice cream shop, leaving Tanya looking
confused and worried.
Tanya pulls out the Detectives card, then her phone. she
hesitates for a moment, then dials the number.
Detective? yes detective Kline?
this is Tanya cathaway, i need to
speak with you.
tanya and the detective are driving , she is telling him
about carl and the tapes.
so you think the proffessor is
hypnotizing him with these tapes?
its crazy!
look, all i know is he isnt
himself lately, he has become more
violent, he has become completley
engrossed in his writing and with
thomson, he has pretty much thrown
me to the curb. the first night he
tried his hyposis thing he couldnt
remember anything, then he started
having dreams. but that first
night was the night that Todd was
killed. Carl felt emasculated and


                       TANYA (cont'd)
humiliated after the incident with
todd, he was never violent but
with the hypnosis he might have
gone back to do something about
well then, ill send a squad over
to Carls to pick him up for
questioning, me and you will head
to thomsons
Tanya is standing outside Thomsons front door, she knocks,
she rings the dorbell. theres no answer, detective kline
comes walking from the back.
i dont think he's home, we can
head to his office and question
him there.
No, whatever he has going on is
going to be here, we have to get
in there and look around,
Professor Thomson has always been
a shady character, who knows what
he has been up to.
look you forget im an officer of
the law i cant just go breaking
into peoples houses! ...im also
not an idiot tho, i know your
right......ok you go in, look
around come out and tell me what
you see ill turn a blind eye to
breaking and entering.
tanya sneaks around the back of the house looking for a way
in, she finds a backdoor but its locked up tight, he
obviously doesnt want anyone getting in, finally she settles


on breaking a window, she crawls through and into his
she stalks quietly through the house taking in everything
she sees, so far nothing too unusual, well that is if you
dont count the bookcases filled with gory, bloody murderous
titles. she finds the door to the basement, and opening it
slightly, she pulls back disgusted by a horrid smell coming
from within. slowly she descends the steps and turns on a
light, instantly wishing she hadnt.she looks around the
room, suddenly feeling her stomach churning with disgust.
pictures of death hung on the walls, not artistic portrails
but actual pictures of brutal,
horrific deaths, murders, one of the people caught her eye,
she recognized him...he had been on a flyer for missing
persons. Flashback to her seeing the flyer. then she cast
her eye to a corner, this must be where the smells had come
from, there was an array of body parts arranged almost as
trophies on a desk, hands, fingers, ears, eyes, everything,
it seems there was dozens of different body parts with no
way to know from who they came. she had seen enough it was
time for her to go and she knew it. she tunred around to run
up the stairs and turned right into Professor Thomsons vice
like grip.
Someone is sticking their nose
where it doesnt belong! and for
that i think i shall Remove it!
let me go! you monster! let me go,
u wont get away with this.
the rantings of a woman about to
meet her futile end, u have no
idea how many times i have written
thos exact same words, always wit
the same outcome.
tanya realised she need to buy time, she had to stall and
hope the detective would come looking for her


why?! why did u get carl ixedup
into this, he had nothing to do
with this you dragged him in why
would you do that?!
because he is evolving,to create a
work that is to be believable one
must become that character, know
that character as if he himself
was in fact that character.
MONTAGE: replay scene 1 in park, lightning flashes and we
see the MYSTERY MAN is Thomson, thomson saying "ill be
going out of town" followed by the car pulling up to the
vehicle with a flat, red toyota avalon that cut off the
other driver, and then thomson walking out and getting into
the red vehicle Carl passed in the parking lot. the woman
saying "father forgive me for i have sinned" and then
Thomson wiping off his knife and saing "no".END MONTAGE
For my enitre career i have
written or read books about people
who were obsessed with killing,
people ho knew HOW to killthese
were my characters and murder was
the story i told. but it wasnt
long before, like Carl i realised
there was something deeper i wasnt
tapping in to. writing is
evolution it grows it becomes more
i have always believed that. i
could not bring myself to tap into
that deeper level. i realised what
it was i had to do though.
a younger thomson, stalks through an alley at night, he
spots a bum and slowly walks toward him the bum is sould
asleep and doesnt even notce this person standing over him


with a knife. Thomson does nothing tho, he just stands there
arm raised, an then walks away
i couldnt do it, so i looked into
hypnosis, i would make myself do
it subconciously until i was
finally able to stomach it, and
then i began to want it, thirst
for it!
he began tightening his grip around her neck, and then
suddenly, like a bat out of hell, her knees flies right up
into his groin. he releases his grip and she breaks free of
his grasp, but he wasnt about to let her go so easy. he
tackles her bringing her to the floor and they grapple, they
bump into a table and a knife falls onto the floor he tries
to stab her but she throws her hand in the way to try and
fend off the attack. the blade goes through her hand, but
its not lethal, she screams and he picks the knife up again
to deliver the final blow. just then you hear a gun calk.
FREEZE! you move one more muscle
and your brains gonna be
decorating the wall behind you.
Thomson drops the knife, puts his hands in the air and gets
off of Tanya
he is laying in bed with the headphones on when he is woken
up by knocking at the door, he gets out of bed and answers
the door, there are two OFFICERS outside
                       OFFICER ONE
Carl Huber? your going to have to
come with us.
                       OFFICER 2
come along now son, nice and easy.


what is the problem? is this about
the guy in the ice cream shop? oh
                       OFFICER ONE
You are under arrest for the
murder of Todd Downey, you are
coming with us
a shadow passes over Carls face and his countenance becomes
livid, calm and hollow.
im sorry officers...i cant let
that happen.
Carl lunges forward and bites the officer in his nose blood
skwirts out as it cracks. at the same time he pulls out the
officers gun and puts two into his partner. he
unhesitatingly grabs the first officer by the hair and drags
him into room. he looks frantic, the officer recovering from
the initial shock begins fighting back at carl. Carl, not
being very athletic finds himself at a disadvantage he
scrambles for the kitchen counter where he sees a knife, he
reaches it spins around and with a sickening sound of
slicing the fight stops. the officer is standing there
motionless for a second , and then his head falls back
completely unattached from his neck except for the spinal
tanya is sitting in an ambulance just finishing getting her
hand bandaged up when detective Kline walks over to her.
the team we sent to Carl's hasnt
checked in, im going down there
Tnaya is obviously very emotionally disstressed but
determined to tag along, she looks at Thomson sitting
quietly in the back of a squad car.


Im coming with you
i think youve been through enough
today, i can bring him in.
against his better judgement the detective agrees and they
get in his car.
as the detectve and tanya ascend the steps towards carls
apartment they can hear the obvious sounds of a struggle
going on upstairs.
you stay here, STAY HERE im going
he draws his weapon and walks up the steps, then past the
body if the cop that was killed outside the door, he steps
into the dorrway just in time to see the other officers head
seperate from his neck like a pezz dispenser.
you bastard!
he shoots at carl and tanya comes running up the steps,
stopping to grab the officers weapon on her way.
the first shot missed carl, he turned just as the second one
caught him in the shoulder. he didnt seemed very phased by
it, as he threw the knife at the detectives chest. it sunk
deeep into his skin just below his right shoulder blade. the
impact loosed his weapon from his hands sending it
scattering across the floor to Carls feet. carl picked it
up, leveled it at the detective, and then Tanya steps in his


Stop it carl this isnt you! dont
do this!
even as she spoke those words she knew that she might
already be too late, she slowly leveled her weapon at carl.
NO! you can beat this carl, your
stronger than this this isnt you!
this is me...i am heartless i am
cruel, i live so that blood may
with those last words his jaw clenches, muscles tighten and
eyes glaze over. theres a flash in his eyes, and Tanya fires
her weapon, she lets loose three shots, her eyes closed when
she fired but her bullets were lethal, both of his lungs
were punctured and as he gasped for breath blood squirted
out of the holes in his chest. she falls on the ground in
shock shaking, then vomits, sirens can be heard approaching
from a distance.
tanya is sitting at detective clines desk, the sight of her
immediately says she is extremely traumatized, she looks
distant, her eyes are empty, and she looks like she hasnt
slept in days. detective Kline walks in his right arm in a
sling and he sits down across from her.
well, Carls prints match up to
those on a knife we found two
blocks away from a woman who was
found in a dumpster, stabbed to
death. as well as the prints we
found on a pen stuck in a mans
eye, the man was found in an alley
with his chest cut open.


tanya stares at him blankly as a tear rolls down her cheek
and what about Thomson?
thomson truly was devoted to his
writing, he kept a journal of
everyperson he ever killed, seems
he started about ten years ago,
hes killed about 35 people, he
kept trophies of them all too.
as for the tapes,im getting ready
to send those down for lock up in
the evidence room, i started
listening to them, its some
sadistic stuff i thought it best
to just lock em up.
with that an officer walks in and Detective Kline hands him
the box of tapes, the officer walks out. the detective and
tanya walk out of the precinct and just as a man in tweed
coat walks in. the man in the tweed coat walks up to an
officer eating a donut
                       TWEED COAT MAN
excuse me officer, i need to speak
to someone about a matter of some
                       DONUT COP
yeah, thats me. i swear i get fed
up with all the useless crap they
file under evidence, they justtry
to complicate my life.
                       TWEED COAT MAN
yes well u see there is a matterof
some tapes that belonged to a
client of mine that have been
taken into custody, these tapes
are the express property of our
agency, and while we could have
ateam of lawyers come down here to
procure them for us i would much


                       TWEED COAT MAN (cont'd)
rather it if perhaps i gave u a
lil something, for u to give me a
little something??
                       DONUT COP
who are you? and why do you want
those tapes?
                       TWEED COAT MAN
i was Carl Huber's agent, he was
working on a book and i believe he
was recording his notes on those
tapes, i would like them so i
might be able to see if anything
worth selling is on them, and ill
pay dearly for them
with that money is exchanged between the agent and officer,
we follow the agent to his house where he gets on his
computer, goes online to the Carl Huber writing blog and
writes "Audio Notes on Third book, streaming soon!! Premium
Members only!" he then pops in the cassete, presses record
on his computer, play on the cassette player and we hear...
                       TAPE (V.O)
Relax......take a deep
breath.......and slowly begin
counting .....backwards from 100


Back to Top of Page
Leave Feedback
From Powell Date 12/19/2007 ***
Nice script first of all but in the begining do not tell us there is alot of trees Producers wont want to read that.

From Jeff Helton Date 12/14/2007 **1/2
Some of your dialouge spots are very lengthy, should try and keep them to about 4-5 lines max. If you need to go longer then insted of putting "beat" in between the lines, try putting some direction or action in between lines.. ie: (clears throat) (exhales) (sighs) (shakes head) etc...

From MJ Date 12/12/2007 ****
nice script i liked it

Back to Top of Page
Leave Feedback
You must be logged in to leave feedback.
Home    My Account    Products    Screenwriter Community    Screenwriter's Corner    Help
Forgot Your Password?    Privacy Policy    Copyright 2024, ScriptBuddy LLC.    Email help@scriptbuddy.com