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Handle With Care
by Grant Hobbs (grant.hobbs@hobbsconsulting.eu)

Rated: R   Genre: Drama   User Review:

Hi have a read its rough around the edges hope you enjoy it. Handle with care. Brief Synopsis Ever wandered what happens to your suitcase when you hand it over at the check in? This is a story based on true events about a crew of hard grafting baggage handlers working the shift at Heathrow in the late 80’s. It’s all about the daily shopping trips that are made into your luggage, the simple-if-you-know-how smuggling and scams that for those that had the front, were just the perks of the job. There’s a new boy just started. The loaders are always wary of a new face, suspicious that he may be undercover. Everyone watches what they say in front of the new boy. The last undercover was rumbled and subsequently thrown from a jetty and ended up with a cracked skull and a knackered spleen for his troubles. There’s four men in this crew, the biggest thief is called John. He’s the biggest practical joker who’s got the front to pinch absolutely anything. And it’s John who, while off loading a 737, half way through his ‘shopping’ trip stumbled across a bag that would change his and the rest of the crew’s lives.

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



John sits at a corner table it is a bit of a dump,ashtrays
overfilling dirty glasses strew around the tables,sunlight
streams in from dirty stained glass window,only a few people
standing around drinking.
John is not alone there are two men sitting with him
listening to what he has to say carefully.
Go on then Mukka mines a large
one,as i was saying best years of
my life so what you wanna know.
The boys pulled into Georges drive,it was 03.30am,the full
headlights were enough to illuminate his whole kitchen.
He puts down his tea & pushes the last piece of toast into
his mouth, he grabs his bag & rushes out closing the door
quietly behind him,in the car Mike was driving,Troy & John
were now both in the back,lighting a fag which was their
      (Turns & looks at
Who shit? ah john something
crawled up your arse & died AGAIN?
Nah it's just the Guinness.
      (looks at Mike)
Mike open the fucking window
before he gasses us all will ya.
George gets in the car
      (Looks in pain as
       he smells)
Who's shit.


We've done that one, it was Johns
smelly arse.
      (Looks back at
John you on the Guinness last
night, by any chance.
How did you guess Mukka.
      (Voice over)
Mukka is a term used by working
men in every warehouse airport &
factory,no one really knows why
perhaps it saves remembering
workmates names.
Mike drives out of the Road & turns right,a cars side lights
go on & drives into the parking place they had just left.
Troy catches this out the corner of his eye,& taps john to
look at what he had just seen.
Yeah what.
Nothing Prick.
It was late,the car troy had seen was now out of sight,& he
did not want George to see where the car had parked,they
head towards Heathrow its nearly 3.45 am.
      (looks straight
Put your Fukin foot down will ya,
it gets light at six.
Mike said nothing he always drove like a Nun,the car crawls
into the Cargo area & parks,Mike has the only pukka Cargo
Pass & it takes forever to get a bus from the staff car


They all walk towards the security gate,id passes in hand to
show the guard.
                       SECURITY GUARD
      (Looks through
       circle in glass)
Morning lads.
      (Says under his
The guard hears him & looks straight at John.
      (Splutters out)
Morning mukka.
The guard stares at them as they file through the gate.
      (Looking at George)
You still got that picture of a
Gorilla on your id George.
Yeah, wankers don't even look at
They'll Bollock you when they
catch you.
Yeah Yeah who cares.
They turn left into a large air side lorry park,searching
lorries,transit vans, escort vans,looking for one with a key
in it to get them Air side.
      (Looks at John)
Look at the time we got 5 Min's to
clock in.
Give Taff a ring & get him to bang
us in.


      (Starts walking
       over to the
       Warehouse wall)
Yeah ok.
Mike walks over to the Warehouse wall,there is an internal
phone he calls Taff,the others keep searching vehicles,a few
seconds later George pulls up in the Guvnors new van, they
all pile in Mike's still on the phone.
      (Shouts from the
Come on prick you will make us
      (Staring at George)
Fkin cheek we would all be late if
it wasn't for me.
Mike gets in the front & George smokes the tyres.
      (cramped in the
       back of the van)
So where did you get the key for
this one George.
What you a fukin policeman now.
yeah right,isn't this the guvnor,s
new van.
You hid the Fkin key again didn't
you George.
Nah it was in it.


I searched the whole van there was
no key,you lying bastard.
      (Says slyly)
You didn't know where to look, did
In you pocket again eh George.
George looks straight ahead & does not answer Troy.
Just make sure no one sees us park
it up,cos he will be pissed off if
he cant get through the tunnel.
Who cares?
As they drive out the tunnel it's still dark,Air-side is lit
up a yellow orange a bit like daylight.
George knows exactly where to park so no one sees them,he's
done this a few times before & always blamed someone else.
He's a bit sharp is George.They all get out the van & walk
quickly across the lorry park towards the restroom.
They all shuffle in by the clocking in machine,John puts a
blank piece of paper in four times so the machine sounds
like they have all clocked in,it says 0408am they are 8
Min's late,their are a few grasses in the room that would
love to cause trouble for this crew,Taff had clocked them
all in at 0358 so they would not be late.
They all walk in the main part of the restroom it is quiet,a
big room with fag stained ceilings and old & faded health &
safety posters on the walls,loose table's & chairs
strewn about,Taff is sitting on there table in the corner
      (Walks over to
Well-done Taff want a cuppa.


      (Looks up a bit
Yeah thanks John.
There are only a hand full of blokes sitting at tables half
asleep,they don't talk much it's too early, it does usually
liven up around breakfast time but for now most bloke's just
drink tea or just sleep slumped on tables.
Mike walks over to the crews table carrying mugs of tea.
      (Carries Tea)
Here lad's there's no sugar again.
      (Looks up)
Its always the same when were on
shift, no fkin sugar anyone got
any spare.
      (Looks over at
Go and buy some like the rest of
us you cheap bastard.
      (Stands up)
Brian i don't like you,Ive never
liked you,& I'm never likely to
like you.
      (Smiles at John)
Ha Ha Full of shit as usual john.
If its wet & warm give it hear
Ray the crew chief arrives.
      (Takes his coat
Morning lads how are we this
The crew say there different hello's,Mike goes to get him a


John looks over & sees a Pal Graham looking fed up, so he
takes his Cuppa & goes to sit with him.
      (Sits with Graham)
What's up mukka.
Pissed right off John, I'm going
to be a dad again.
Congrats what's it, a Boy or Girl.
      (Pissed Off)
I don't Fkin care.
Don't be like that Mukka,whats
wrong,its not going to be a same
head is it.
No nothing like that,It's just
another mouth to feed.
How many have you got now then,
I've lost count.
You & me both John Boy.
No really it can't be that bad.
You don't know the half of it, you
know the Barmaid from the Red
      (Doesn't Believe)
What Sue.
Camera Pans round to see an Ugly old Moose behind the Jump
of the Red Lion, too much makeup bad Blond Hair, Black
Teeth, big cleavage but big ass.
No eer No yuk, the other one.


Not little Lisa, you lucky
camera pans to the left, little Lisa very Horny young blond.
But she's barely out of nappies.
Tell me about it, she's just had
her 17th Birthday, there was a
lock in a few months back.
Nice, you didn't invite me you
You were on shift Mukka.
OK I believe you, thousand's
Well I don't remember much about
it really, I woke up on the pool
I must have passed out, cos when I
opened my eyes, little Lisa was
riding me like a Fkin Shetland
Pony, screaming her tit's off.
Very nice Mukka, Now that's a nice
thought, give me a min, I'll save
that for later.


That's it take the Piss, it's not
funny, after id finished she told
I was Her First.
      (chokes on his Tea)
You What.
She was a Fkin Virgin, now I can't
get rid of her.
Why would you want to?
Mukka my life's a mess.
Graham has been married to Rose for twenty five years & has
two boy's, also he has a Girlfriend Jane who he has a son
with, plus he's been banging a couple of married wife's of
mates of his.
He has told me more than once, when he wakes in the morning
he has to Check The Wallpaper to see which house he's in.
I asked him how he gets away with his double life's, he
tells them all he is working overtime, man he must do a lot
of overtime.
How can you afford all this, I ask him, by thieving of
course he work's on another crew, they are more serious
about their shopping.
So cool it off with Lisa.
I would but she is such a good
Ride, & great Blowjobs.
You can't have it all Mukka.
Why not ? John boy, on my way home
I pop in the Pub to see her, get a
nosh & go Home happy.
So what's the problem then.


I was sitting having a kip in the
chair last Friday night, knock
knock on the front door, I thought
if it's those Fkin Jehovah
Witnesses again
I went to get my boys water pistol
that I pissed in, & Fkin soak
them, but no it was Little Lisa's
Fkin Dad.
No way Mukka, what did he say.
To tell me she is Pregnant & what
was I going to do about it, all I
could think that I'm one lucky
fucker my misses had gone down the
shop's to get me some Fag's.
Fuck me.
So I told him I would pay for the
Abortion, he went nuts john said
she wants to keep it & get
married, I nearly died, I told him
I would sort it & he fucked off
just in time before she got back,
but my eldest heard it all the
nosey little fucker.
I told you dipping your wick,
would get you into trouble one of
these day's.
Your not kidding mate, now Ive got
to give my boy £50 a week so he
doesn't tell his mother, & it gets
Is that possible.
Oh yes, so now I'm the talk of the
Red Lion, & Jane drinks in there,
so its only a matter of time till
she finds out, then I will be
totally fucked, John have you


                       GRAHAM (cont'd)
still got that number for the long
distance lorry driving job, I
might need it.
Yes Mukka I've still got it, you
know what Graham.
What Mukka.
No matter how bad I think my life
is, it always cheers me up to hear
about your fucked up life, I feel
better now, thanks Mukka.
Johns life wasn't so good, it had been a normal marriage he
worked hard lots of year's to provide for his young family,
they had moved to bigger & better houses ending up with a
large beautiful Victorian house, he had a serious drinking
problem & spent most of his time at work.
His best mate was always telling him to spend more time at
home with his young sexy wife.
But he loved his work, it may have had something to do with
the Fact he was Caterer, filling the Plane's with food &
Booze, well mostly the Plane's he could drink whenever &
whatever he liked.
One day he gets a call his Best mate had died, he was gutted
until he found out how & where, His best mate all twenty
five stone of him, had a Heart attack on the Job on top of
John's wife in a Brighton Hotel, Perhaps John would not have
found out but it was in the Press, as the Fire Brigade had
to lift him off Her, she was lucky to survive without being
crushed, let's just say the marriage didn't survive, & John
has hit the Bottle ever since, He never speaks about it, but
the Boy's Joke behind his back.
Did you know that John's wife ran off with his best mate &
he misses Him terribly.
Thanks John, I'm glad my mess of a
life amuses you.
Its your own doing you prick, I
better go mukka, see ya.
Yeah OK see ya John Boy, oh & keep
it to yourself will ya.


No chance of that, if you want to keep stuff private, Don't
for fucks sake let John know.
I remember the time when John had a bird an Aussie Barmaid
thirty years younger than him, only one problem he couldn't
get a hard on & he was getting pissed off of just eating her
pussy, so he went to the Doc, & got an injection straight
into his old Chap Ouch, it worked sort of, so here he is in
her flat she was a big Un as I remember, his chat up line
was, You don't sweat much for a Fat Bird, & fuck me it
worked she fell about laughing, Crazy Aussie.

So he is in her flat drinking cans of Special Brew waiting
for the injection to work, one hour later still only a semi,
George had given him two Viagra just in case, so he is
getting bored & pissed he takes the Two Fkin tablet's, Two
the stupid twat & then falls asleep.

He wakes early in the morning & looks over to see the Fat
Bird all tackled up snoring like a stuffed pig on the
settee, he looks down, & sees the biggest erection in
history, his eyes light up & in a flash he's on her pumping
away with all his might.

An hour later he's still going strong, she by this time has
had enough & smacks him straight in the eye, & tells him to
fuck off, so off to work he goes, its still standing to
attention, he walks into the Restroom showing it off to
everyone & I mean everyone there.
Have a look at this Mukka, have
you ever seen such a beautiful
sight, go on touch it, its rock
hard & ive been fucking all night.
Not quit but that's not the full story, after his shift &
all that night its still up, only one problem, any man will
tell you, you can't piss with a hard on, He hasn't pissed
for nearly 24 hrs & now its so painful, the Doc's are closed
so he is sitting in Casualty, with people laughing at him,
now he is trying to hide his old chap, after another
injection it goes down three hrs later, he says never again
& pissed for twenty Min's solid.
There is a glass screen in the middle of the far
wall,through it the Supervisors live,the glass screen slide
back a burly large man stands the other side its Fred.


      (Looks int the
       rest room)
OK Ladies 307 is in the Zone,Ray
your boy's ready.
      (walks over to the
       glass screen)
Morn-in Fred can't you see their
like coiled springs waiting to
      (Laughs & walks
Yeah right.
he couldn't be further from the truth.
      (Turns and looks
       at the crew)
Right lads you fit then were on
Charley 22,Mike can you do the
front lifter for me?.
      (Stands & puts his
       jacket on)
Ok boss.
      (Says out the
       corner of his
Golden bollocks always gets the
best jobs.
      (Swigs the last of
       his tea)
Troy do the back for me & get the
breakfasts in.
Yeah got it.
      (Shouts at Taff)
Taff wake up,take a van for the


      (Looks up)
What ah yeah sure thing boss.
John George take a lorry each and
do the bulk.
No prob's babe.
No surprises there then.
      (Looks angry)
Just do it will ya,I'll get some
plebs to take the bags away,come
on then.
They all saunter out the door as if it was to their end's,it
was only to find the equipment to unload the flight,they all
go different directions,but meet up again on stand C22.
They all arrive on stand,Lifter on front and one for the
back two lorry's a van & three sets of tug & four
Dolly's,307 is now on blocks engine's still screaming,the
noise is horrendous this early,the punter's start escaping
up the jetty,Ray opens the front cargo door first then the
rear,Mike & Troy position the lifters in place,John & George
place the rocket on the bulk door John walks up the rocket
opens the door & disappears inside.
      (Turns to George)
Let's go shopping mukka.
      (Smile's back)
You know it make's sense.
The tins are now emerging from the from both lifters & are
being loaded onto Dolly's,when full the pleb's drive the
electric tugs off the stand,Taff is at the bottom of the
Rocket waiting for the bags to come down,Ray walks to the


      (Walks quickly to
       the Rocket)
George get them 1st class away
will ya.
      (Shout's back)
Just try in to find them Ray,why
don't those prat's over there put
them by the door.
Probably for the same reason,John is dipping into bags&
needs more time,George is kneeling near the door so no one
sees John at work.
      (Talks to John)
Got anything Mukka,we got no more
time,Ray's waiting.
      (Looks over to
Nah nothing you got your knife on
ya,this one's locked.
Nah no time,better chuck the 1st
class out or Ray will go into one.
Ok Ok here chuck em out then.
John throws the 1st class bags to George,who throws them out
on the belt,Taff starts filling the van
      (Shout's up)
About Fukin time,you two are
taking the piss?.
Come on John,Taff's waiting down
      (Trying to open a
I can feel something but i can't
get the fucker open.


John manages to get the bag open.
      (Screw's his face
Jesus this fucker stinks,they can
keep their stuff.
George throws out the last of the bag's.
Is that the lot.
      (Shout's back)
that's it Mukka.
Save me some breakfast will yah.
Taff drives off,George emerges from the bulk.
      (Shout's to Troy)
Troy get upstairs before the
engineer's get it all.
      (Climbs down from
       the lifter)
I'm going I'm going,some of us
were working.
Troy climbs down from the lifter & walks under the
Aircraft,he climbs the steep step's & opens the door of the
Troy walks down the jetty & through the Aircraft door turns
right & walks between the seats to the middle Galley,there
are two stewardesses applying make up in the middle Galley.
      (Talks to the
       trolley dollies)
Morning ladies had a good flight.
      (Turns looking
Not bad I'm a bit sleepy,can't


                       HEATHER (cont'd)
wait to get home.
I don't blame you,any breakfast
for the boys.
Yes sure there's Lot's left over
She turns & opens an oven it's full of untouched
They smell good.
Would you like a drink for later.
      (Smile's back)
Yes please, that's very kind of
Heather picks up a carrier bag full of miniature's & passes
it to Troy.
It's only miniature's.
      (Still smiling)
That's lovely,we'll think of you
      (Smiles back)
we got to get going,see you later.
I hope so,see ya.
The trolley Dolly's don't normally give us the time of
day,they were so nice,must be new,Troy walks to the middle
emergency exit & opens it Mike is on the other side on the
      (Mike Shout's)
Is there any grub left.


yeah load's I'll pass it down,got
your glove,s Mike the cases are
still hot.
Troy empties the oven of it's large metal case containing
all the tray's of meal's,& passes them down to Mike on the
      (Shout's back)
Hot grub make's a change eh Troy.
yeah sure does,will one case be
enough or shall i get both of em.
One should do us,& it's easier to
      (Passes the case
       to Mike)
here take it then it's burning me
fingers,got it, I'll close the
door & see you back.
troy puts the carrier bag inside his jacket & zip's it up,he
doesn't go back down to the Ramp, he walks back through the
departure gate & down the moving walkway,he turns left
through a door.
Troy walks down the step's & straight into the locker
room,where he see's the crew eating Breakfast.
      (Say's with a
       mouth full)
Bloody good grub must be 1st
Yeah it was,& Ive got something to
wash it down.
John's eye's lit up & he puts down his half eaten meal.


      (Looks quickly
What you got there then Mukka.
      (Passe's the
       carrier bag to
It's only Miniature's John.
Hmm my favorite.
They all enter the Restroom together John is swaying a
      (Say's loudly)
OK boy's let's go shopping,I'm in
the mood.
      (Pained expression)
Shit were in for a fun shift.
Ray is waiting with our next job.
      (Looks at computer
       print out)
OK boy's we got one,a puddle
jumper on Lima 22.
A puddle Jumper is a small 727 Aircraft,with two holds full
of bag's,John & George loved them plenty of time to go
Equipment was hard to find at this time of the Morning, so
the play was, see it nick it & drive it as fast as it will
go, Lima 22 was a remote stand, so no prying eyes but you
can never be too sure, there was a rumour that they were
fitting Cameras in the holds so the boy's always had a good
look before starting their shopping trip's, not that they


would have spotted any Pin Hole cameras but one of John's
drinking buddies was head of airline security, he said it
was just a rumour he would let John know if he heard
anything, so the boy's were safe for now.

They all arrived on Lima 22, the Passengers were getting in
the Buses, John & George went straight to the rear hold,
Troy & Mike to the front Ray drove the Rocket to the front
Hold, the Bags come down fast & Furious Mark was a big lad a
Body Builder he loved throwing Bags out, Troy was a tall lad
who struggled to work in the Cramped Hold, it hurt his back
but still the Bags Flowed, in the rear it was a different
story, the Bags were coming alot slower with big gaps
between them, John & George had other things on their minds,
      (Turns to George)
Keep it slow Mukka, Taff's loading
he's allright.
Zip, the sound of another opened Case.
Anything Yet.
Nah Nothing yet.
Zip, another bag.
      (Looks into a bag)
Ah a new pair Nike Trainers 44/US.
What size is that.
I don't Fkin Know, put them up
against your Boots.
Nah too small,Shame they looked
Zip onto the next.
      (With a big smile)
Bingo, 200 Camel & a Black Label.


That's more like it.
You can have the Fag's.
Thanks Mukka we had better look
lively, they have finished the
      (Lifts 2 Grey Mail
Only these two Fkin heavy Mail
Bags, they seem to get heavier
every day.
      (Shouts from
       bottom of the
Is that it.
      (John Shouts back)
The Mail Bags are the last of it.
That's it then, lets get out of
here, & you take the Mail I'll see
you back.
Ok Babes.
As George & John drive off the Ramp it's now buzzing with
Caterer's Re-Fuelers & Engineer's, they arrive at the Mail
Shed's in a couple of min's.
      (Walks in the door)
All right Jim.
      (Looks up from a
       mail Sack)
Yeah good Mukka.


Got 2 Bag's for ya.
Ah deep Joy.
Fancy a drink, got any Cup's.
      (looks over to a
Sure Mukka over there.
John walks over grabs 3 Cup's opens his Bottle & Pours three
drink's,the three of them sit Drinking & Smoking.
Life's not bad eh Mukka's.
As he said it the Radio in Georges pocket Bleeps twice.
      (Answer's Radio)
Roger Roger OK Ray we've got to go
Ray's flapping.
See you later babes.
Yeah sure, you going down the Frog
Yeah I'll be there about Seven
Jim was one of John's drinking Buddie's, it was now 8
o'clock they had missed their breakfast break, but they had
both eaten, John was three sheets to the Wind so he didn't
Driving to the next Job


Come on Mukka, only two more
flight's & were out of this Shit
Hole for another Day, put your
Fkin foot down will ya.
I'm going as fast as this piece of
shit will go.
The Van was Screaming down the Ramp, blue smoke pouring from
the exhaust, when they arrived they saw, Troy, Taff, Mike
loading the departing Plane & had nearly finished loading
the front Hold.
      (Looks at the Van
Why do those two Wanker's always
leave US to do the Fkin work.
Ray was used to this by now, He had been working with them
for year's.
      (Looks Pissed Off)
Right you two, we've got 30 Min's
to get this out or I'll get a
delay, & you know what that means,
I wont be staying to do the
paperwork, You two will.
      (Looks Sheepish)
Sure Boss no worries.
      (Point's to the
       rear Hold)
You two do the rear, & don't mess
about we Aint got time.
Ok Boss.


John & George are in the Hold, Taff is loading the Bag's
onto the Rocket, Progress was slow John only knew one speed
when he had been drinking, that was Dipping speed, George
was sweating & Complaining, But it had No effect, Taff was
leaving no gap between the Bag's, so George had to work flat
      (Shout's down to
Taff leave a fkin gap will ya.
      (Shout's back)
No gaps Ray's order's.
Yeah Yeah Fkin Prick.
      (Looks into a bag)
Look Mukka, brand new Gucci Shoes
Size Nine, Perfect.
You can't John it's an outbound.
You fkin watch me.
John takes off his work Boots & puts them in the Gucci Box &
slips on his new Loafers.
These will go with that Armani
Suite, I got last week.
Out of work he was the best dressed Loader.
Yeah Mukka they look the Dogs
      (Shout's up)
Ok boy's close it were done.
John came walking down the Rocket like he was on a Catwalk,
showing off his new Shoes to everyone around including any
passenger's looking out the Window's, & that reminded me not


three weeks ago he had exchanged his work overalls for a new
Armani Suite, he'd only do it when he was pissed, he had
some front
      (Looks at John)
For Fucks sake John, I'll see you
back, that should be us for today.
The boy's all found something to drive back to the Rest
They walk into the Rest Room, they all sit & drink tea, not
theirs another Crew's of course, it was John's turn but as
usual he found another way, a member of the other crew had
made it for them & gone to the Shitter, he saw them there
all alone & lonley so now their his Crew's.
Here you go boy's enjoy & don't
say I never make the tea.
They all sit Chatting waiting for the off from Ray, Troy
looks over & sees Uncle Tom Bang in & sit down, he is on the
opposite shift so don't get to see him much.
Uncle Tom was in his late 50's English but moved to Rhodesia
when he was 14, he spoke with a South African accent, Now
Uncle Tom was a drugs baron, he has been for years, he gets
Cleaners in certain Countries to place on board the Aircraft
large packs of drugs, as soon as the Aircraft arrives he
gets the Cleaners to get it for him & deliver it to the
Locker Room, it's a good scam then he deals it direct to the
Airport staff, never taking it out of the Airport.
Hi Tom, what you doing here, your
not on A shift.
                       UNCLE TOM
Hello Troy, that's a nice Hello,
how are you mate.
Im good thanks.
                       UNCLE TOM
So Troy you need any gear, I've
just had a shipment in.


No im good.
                       UNCLE TOM
OK let me know if you need
Tom aren't you worried you will
get caught, one of these days.
                       UNCLE TOM
My dear boy don't worry so, what's
the worst they can do to me, lock
me up feed me three square's a
day, did I tell you about my days
in the army.
No I don't think so.
                       UNCLE TOM
Well make us both a nice cuppa &
I'll tell you all about it.
Done, wont be a miniute
Troy makes the tea & sits back down.
                       UNCLE TOM
Thanks Troy, you know I could get
you a Security Job in the Dee
Beers diamond mine, my mates head
of security, this is an old mans
job, its not for you.
Thanks Tom, I like it here & I can
have loads of Hols with free
                       UNCLE TOM
OK let me know if you change your
mind, he's a good buddy of mine we
were in the Rhodesian army
What was it like.


                       UNCLE TOM
Well I was conscripted at 17 &
spent the next year in training,
it wasn't a good time in my life,
too many beatings from the
sergeant's, so after a year they
sent us to Patrol the border on
foot no less, we had to walk with
packs on 15 miles a day, then camp
at night.
Your kidding.
                       UNCLE TOM
No on my life, we walked for 2
months, then one day a troop
carrier turns up the other side of
the fence, Forty soldiers jump
down, & the two of us stand there
with Bolt Action Rifles, we lost &
were captured that was the end of
our little war.
What happened then.
                       UNCLE TOM
Well it wasn't good, they
interrogated us for weeks, I still
have the scars to prove it, & let
me tell you in the films they
don't talk, real life you sing
like a canary, & they still beat
you, electrify you, then beat you
some more till your lifeless body
slumps on the floor, then they
drag you to a cell & dump you till
the next day & it starts all over
Fuck me, for real.
                       UNCLE TOM
That's only half the story, we had
to wear blindfolds most of the
time, every morning the routine
was to take the shit bucket
outside to a hole in the ground,
it was overflowing mess, shit
everywhere & try to pour it down
the hole, they would always stop
you half way through & make you at


                       UNCLE TOM (cont'd)
gunpoint kneel down in it & put
your arm in there to unblock it
which never worked, then pour the
rest in, or mostly on it.
That's nasty.
                       UNCLE TOM
No that's not the worst, then you
had to take the only shirt you had
off & wipe the Shit off your arms
, but never your Hand's.
Why not your Hand's Tom.
                       UNCLE TOM
Ah I've saved the best till last,
you had to lick your hands clean.
Oh I feel sick, fuck me your
kidding right.
                       UNCLE TOM
No I'm not kidding, & It didn't
taste like Chicken, It tasted like
Ahhh Tom that's Fkin Horrible.
                       UNCLE TOM
Then after that back to the cell
which was about ten foot square,
blindfold on & into the yard, line
us all against a wall & leave you
there for maybe thirty Min's to an
Hour, then the firing squad walks
out loads their rifles & nothing
for a while, some days they shoot
in the air others some poor
bastard gets it.
Fkin Hell Tom.
                       UNCLE TOM
Not good for the nerves I can tell
you, there were a hundred or so
prisoners in there when I went in,
& about twenty when I came out, I


                       UNCLE TOM (cont'd)
was one of the lucky ones, & by
the way all the ones that survived
were all white, a lot of my fellow
prisoners were marked from the day
they arrived, because they were
Fkin hell that's some story Tom,
how long was it like that.
                       UNCLE TOM
Two Year's four Months six days.
Fucking Hell.
                       UNCLE TOM
It's all true, true as I sit here,
I've only got one Bollock to prove
It's OK Tom you don't have to show
                       UNCLE TOM
I wasn't going to show you, but
perhaps you can understand
something, so I deal in Drugs, I
make good Money this week so far
about twenty grand profit, so I
get caught my third wife leaves
me, they take my big house & flash
Motor, & bang me up for ten years,
they wont take me out every
morning & pretend to shoot me,
will my luck run out today, if I
can live through that do you think
I'm worried about Prison here,
fuck em, Im happy Dealing Drug's.
I see your point, Tom I hate to
                       UNCLE TOM
Ask me what.


Could you lend me a Grand for a
month or so, I'm a bit short since
my Florida trip.
                       UNCLE TOM
No sorry, you're a friend of mine,
I have a rule, never I mean never
lend money to my friends, I don't
want to have your legs broken.
OK Tom no worries just though id
ask, anyway I better get going,
see ya soon mate.
                       UNCLE TOM
See ya Troy, & a piece of advice
don't borrow any money from Jimmy,
do you understand me, he is a
nasty bastard & a liar.
Ok Tom I hear ya, see ya.
Troy wanders over to his crew table & sits down, John stares
at him he looks pissed off.
      (Pissed Off)
What you talking to that Slimy old
Bastard for.
Don't be like that John, we were
chatting about when he was in the
Rodesion army.
Fkin load of bollocks, don't have
nothing to do with him, he will
stab you in the back, as good as
look at you.
Easy John ok Mukka, I wont.
Fuck me what was that all about, I was told later they have
History, they were the best of friends, rumor has it that
they were in business together & it ended in Tears, no one
know's for sure?


That's it for us Markka's & don't
forget to Bang out John, see you
in the morning & don't be late
Sure thing Boss would I.
They all bang out & walk outside to find something to drive
through the Tunnel, all the Vehicle's they had left Min's
earlier had Vanished, there were still Flight's departing,
they check everything.
      (Looks in a Van)
No key's in it.
No fkin Key's anywhere, looks like
were walking boy's.
      (Looks at the
       Guvnors new van)
There's the Guvnor's Van.
Oh no not again.
      (Puts a hand in
       his Pocket)
Oh Yeah.
& produces a Key from his Pocket.
Look what ive found.
He will fkin kill you if he finds
Don't worry Mukka he wont find
out, I collected the Van for him
remember, I got an extra Key cut,
He thinks he has the only one,


                       GEORGE (cont'd)
Dumb Fuck can't work out who
keep's nicking his van.
They all pile in, Taff sits in the front as they drop him
off at the Terminal, as he comes by bike & park's it there
to save time getting through the Tunnel in the Morning.
See you tomorrow Taff.
Taff walks away & Waves with two Finger's laughing.
What you doing tonight Mike.
Going down the Gym I suppose,
nothing better to do.
What about you George.
      (Turns round)
Im taking the Van out.
Did you get those new Video's.
Yeah Mukka really good Yank ones.
You will get caught one of these
Nah best blag ive ever done.
What you up to John going down the
Frog, or need i ask.
You got it Mukka.
They are now in the Cargo Area & park up in a secluded
corner,they all scramble out of the van & walk to the
Security Gate, they are never challenged leaving the


Airport, they walk to the right into the Cargo Staff car
park Mike's car is parked in the far corner, Troy's old BMW
is parked quite close it needs jump starting as the Battery
is Fucked, Mike pulls his car in front of Troys, they both
pop their Bonnets, attach the Jump Leads & try to start it,
the BM's Car Alarm scream out
Troy stop that bloody noise will
It will stop in a min, don't keep
Why have you got this old heap
alrmed anyway.
It's a classic, it's never let me
down it just need's a new battery.
Well go buy one then, & we wont
have to do this every Shift.
I would but lost at card's the
other day, im skint.
The Game
3 card brag, a scan of the pot shows a few grand in there,
it's been going on a while now, the Indian wanted to throw
his Car Key's in there but the others weren't having any of
it, they had seen him in action before, next would have been
his House Key's he takes it very seriously.

Troy was out of his depth & he knew it, he had been to
borrow from some guy, who you wouldn't want to disappoint .

He was sweating but had three 7's it must be good enough to
take the pot he thought, it was now £50 seen, his opposition
was a hard looking Loader & wouldn't back down, Troy only
had a Ton left so asked to see his card's, he refused, in a
panic he turned to Jimmy, the only money Lender there.
Jim I need some cash.


Show me your card's Mate.
Troy lifted his card's so Jim could see them.
Are you sure.
Yes Jim, 500 be ok for a week.
Yes mate but you pay me 600 back,
by the end of the week, OK.
OK No worries, Thanks Jim.
Back to the Game.
OK here's 500 let me see your
Now he is shitting himself & sweating alot.
                       LOADER 3
      (Looks up)
Are you sure boy.
      (Says Nervously)
Im sure.
Loader 3 reaches into his pocket & pulls out a wad of £50
                       LOADER 3
      (Counts Cash)

OK let's see your cards boy.
& throws the cash into the middle of the table.
Troy was just about to tell him he called him so he should
show his cards, but was too scared so, Troy turns over.
Ive only got three fkin 7's, Yeah.
Troy smiles at Loader 3, Loader 3 just sits there & doesn't
move a muscle, then he smiles.


                       LOADER 3
Not so fast Boy three 9's, read em
& weep.
No Fuck Fuck Fuck.
                       LOADER 3
Lovely Jubley, better luck next
time Boy & bring more cash to
lose, i'll be waiting.
Troy now owes a Grand to two dodgy fuckers, he gets up still
not believing he's lost.
      (Talks to himself)
How the fuck did I loose that,
it's not possible, why, why me,
for fucks sake.
He walks through the Locker Room in Silence, shaking his
head in disbelief.
Troy jumps in the Car & turns the Key it starts first time &
the Alarm goes silent.
Not bad eh for a thirty year old.
Can we Fkin go now, Ive got to
take the Van out when I get in.
Yeah were off now see ya.
Thank's Mike see you tomorrow.
Troy & John in the Beamer, Mike & George in the Toyota, Troy
follows Mike out of the Car Park stop at a Junction & both
turn Different Direction's.


      (Turns to John)
So what did you get today apart
from the Shoes, I think everyone
saw those.
Not a lot really, only a bottle of
Black Label.
No Fag's then.
Yeah Mukka 200 Camel but George
had em.
I would have had em, im right out.
Didnt you get any in Florida.
I did but standby was a nightmare
in NY, I had to run for the Flight
& the Duty Free didnt make it.
You should have said, I'll get you
some tomorrow Mukka.
Thanks John.
How was your Trip.
Fkin brilliant, I want to live
there one day, you know the
Sunshine the Cost of everything,
It's the only reason I do this
Poxy Job for the Great Trips.
Yeah I know Mukka, when I get a
result big time, I'm going there
Myself, me & my Boy Buy a small
Motel on the Beach Take life easy,
did you take your bird with ya.


Yeah she loved it loads of sea
food, great Weather did Disney
How many times have you done
Disney now.
Ive lost count but still love it,
I went fishing down the Key's.
Sound's good Mukka.
Why don't you come with me next
time John, we can share the cost
I'd love to but I promised the
Boy's I'd go to sucky fucky ten
dollar land (Bankok) with them.
Still chasing those Lady Boy's
Na No chance, that wont happen
again, I'm going to check the
Good's before I pay the Bar fine
next time.
A few of the Boy's went to Bangkok they had a great time,
but one night John was totally Lashed, he bought this Girl
drinks all night she was a looker he paid her bar fine &
took her back to his hotel, once in the room they both got
undressed, the Looker was a Lady Boy with the biggest Piece
of meat you have ever seen in your life, He/She was working
to pay for the Operation, John says he sent it Packing but
were not sure he said it had cost him a fortune & later said
while pissed that he did it anyway.
You got any Dosh stashed for your
next trip John.
No Mukka, I haven't but I feel
lucky, you know it's only a matter
of time, remember I told you about
Jimmy back in 1988 he got 100


                       JOHN (cont'd)
Grand, he bought a Villa in Spain
& me a Car, I loved that Saab we
used to go everywhere in it.
What happened to it Mukka.
It got Fkin Nicked,I never could
afford the Insurance, Couldn't go
to the old bill.
You don't have much Luck do ya.
Shit happens but it's not all bad,
i nicked some of George's Skunk
Ill smoke that then go down the
Frog, You coming down?
Maybe if I'm not there by Eight
I'm not coming.
Ok Mukka see you later.
The Car pulls up outside John's place, he gets out & crosses
the road waving to Troy, he walks up his path opens his
front door & climbs the Stair's to his Flat, He lives there
with his Boy & two Oriental Cat's.
John's Flat was on the 1st floor, it was looking tired
inside not dirty just dated, he had a small balcony with the
biggest Ganga bush, it thrived there out of the wind, his
elderly neighbour commented that it was an impressive plant,
John told her it was a special tomato plant, very special he
used to pick the leaves, Grill them for 10 minutes & smoke
them, we had some good times in that Flat, Ive never laughed
so much in all my life, Nothing to do with the Splif's.
You Hungry Babe's.


He walks to the Fridge as he opens the door some Flies
Escape, He checks the Milk.
      (Talks to Cat's)
Fkin Yogurt again, you'll have to
have Buscuit's Babe's.
He reaches for a Packet of Cat Biscuit's & pours them into a
There you go Babe's.
He was tired & Hungry but had nothing in, so he sat on the
Settee & rolled a Spliff, took two drag's & fell asleep, he
spent most of his time asleep on the Settee.
He wakes about an hour later after his power nap, straight
in the shower, singing happy he shaves lots of aftershave,
walks to his bedroom Bollock naked, opens a massive wardrobe
full of designer clothes & Shoes.
      (Talks to Himself)
Right what shall I wear hmmm.
He was like a Teenager taking looking & throwing clothes on
his bed.
Hmmm no not the suite, perhaps
the, yes the Armani Jeans,
Valentino Shirt, Pringle Jumper, &
my new Gucci Loafer's.
He dresses quickly & looks at himself in a full length
      (A Cat walks in)
Look babe's don't i look the Dog's
Bollock's, I feel lucky tonight.
& he is off out the door like a missile, he is missing
valuable Drinking time.
It's only a short walk he whistles to himself, he walks past
a Kebab Shop, the Turk inside waves to him, he smile's back.


Not now Abdul later.
      (Thinks to himself)
I could eat something he thinks,
but no room for ten Pint's, I'll
get some chip's later.
He turns the corner & there she is, the love of his life his
eyes light up, The Frog & Firkin his second home or at least
one of them.
Its oldish style inside about twenty people, they all know
John, they shout hello.
                       FROG CUSTOMERS
      (Greet him)
Hi, How's it Hanging John Boy.
He says his Hello's, looks to see Jimmy sitting with four
Pint's in front of him.
You thirsty Jim.
Yes Mukka your late, Ive been here
a while, John you smell like the
ground floor of Debenhams.
Sorry Jim fell asleep again.
He ignores Jim's comment, it was a very expensive
aftershave, that some poor bastard was missing when they got
home & unpacked their case.
No worries get this down ya, your
two behind me & it's your round.
John would never think to go fill up the fridge, but fill
himself with beer, now that's what life is all about. he
chat's with Jim.


Mike Drop's George off at the end of his road, He is now
walking slowly up the path to his front door, when his wife
Jill drew up in her Convertable Golf
Hi babe, that was good timeing.
I only did a half day today, your
home early.
Yeah babe good init.
They both walk into the house to the kitchen, It was like a
Council Palace lots of gold, with Pillar's you get the
Fancy a cuppa.
      (Smiles at Jill)
Yeah & a quickie, jump up there
Jill obliged as always, that wasn't the only Quickie she had
got today, but she was always ready for more, She was always
making a fuss of John, I remember one BBQ at George's, John
was walking around with Jill on his Shoulder's She was
telling everyone she had No knickers on, John was smiling &
said it felt lovely, But when she went to get down John held
her there & told everyone who would listen, that she was
stuck to his neck.
Mike arrives home, his wife & two Children were playing
noisily in the Lounge, it was only a two Bed starter home,
so there was nowhere for mike to escape the noise.
      (Slumps onto the
How's your day been.


      (Pissed Off)
Like this really, i could do with
some time to myself Mike.
      (Stands Up)
OK sure, I'm just off down the
Gym,I'll be back early.
Do you have to go every day, cant
you take a night off for me.
I have to go I will be back early,
I promise.
He grabs his Gym Bag & closes the door quietly behind him.
      (Shout's through
       the front door)
Whatever, I might not be here when
you get back?
The truth is Mike can not handle the Kid's when there noisy
like that so he escapes down the Gym, He was addicted to
Body Building, he wasn't so tall but very Wide, he had Arms
as thick as my Leg's
Troy lived on a Dutch Barge close to the airport with his
girlfriend, it was cheaper than a flat it was always bloody
cold in the winter and boiling hot in the summer but it made
up for it with great parties on the river, Fay worked till 6
ish every day so Troy always slept in the afternoons.
Taff lived the furthest away, he bought his house when
prices were high, and now can't move, it's a nice Victorian
3 bed but could do with some decorating, but he doesn't have
the money, he is married to Sarah and has one young child, a
boy who is thick set like his dad, he doesn't drink much or
smoke and only really goes out with his work Mukka's.


George always spends his afternoons in his ice cream van,
which also sold blue videos and drugs, It was an old B reg
van, but looked smart for its age, in his large six-lid
freezer you won't find any ice cream in there, but Blue
Videos and packets of Grass, he always spent half an hour
readying the softy machine so as not to attract the wrong
sort of attention, he's never had a pull in two years of
trading, in fact he often served the filth free 99's,
suckers never knew.
      (Slides Window on
All right Dave, How you doing.
Good mate what you got for me
Got some new Yank flicks, just had
them flown in special, Ha Ha.
      (Shuffles his feet)
Any good mate.
Yeah realy clear with good sound.
How much are they then.
Ten Quid a throw, you got any to
trade in then.
Yeah about Forty.
I'll give you three Quid a go for


Bollocks you said a fiver last
Yeah but everything cost's you
You can poke em, I'll go somewhere
else then.
Yeah but where you going to get
free home delivery.
OK OK let's not fall out over
this, how many can i have.
I can let you have 100 at a Tenner
a go, but only give you 4 Quid a
piece for your old wankey tapes.
      (Taking the Piss)
Only 4 Quid, can't you do better
than that.
      (More Angry)
Take it or leave it, I don't give
a fuck,do you want them or what.
      (A Bit Thick)
OK George,how much do you want
That's 840 Quid, I know you knock
em out for 20's so what you
complaining about.
OK OK let's have em then, you got
any Skunk left.
Ive only got 1 bag left at £400.


£400 bit steep init.
You want the Fkin gear or not, I
aint got allday.
Go on then how much all together.
that's £1340 Quid then.
How about £1300 for cash.
You Fkin deaf or something I said
£1340, Ive got diesel to buy you
know, cost me a fkin fortune to
run this thing.
      (Passes Money)
Here count it then.
Dave passes a wad of Cash for George to count.
Whens the next crop of Skunk
In about a month or so, if we stop
having these Fkin power cut's.
George rents out peoples lofts to grow on his grass in hydro
tanks and ultra violet, mostly from pensioners, no risk of
anyone finding out, he just pops round once a month to pick
the buds none of them know what's growing in there lofts,
and as long as they get there cash they don't realy care.
      (Black Bin Bag)
Right give us your bag then.
Here take it it's heavy.
Their better not be any Blank
tapes in there Dave.


Nah ive checked them all.
I bet you have you dirty bastard.
George lift's two blue lid's of his freezer, & lift's out a
large box full of tapes.
There you go dave.
Sound see ya next week then.
Yeah see ya.
Dirty Bastard he thinks then slides the Glass window closed
& pulls away, he has the same routine now on to the Flat's.
      (Pissed off now)
What do you want?
                       CUST 1
A 99 & ten quid bag.
He takes the Tenner and folds it then puts it in his pocket,
& throws the Coin's in a tin, he then reaches for the cone
pulls the handle and sticks a flake in it & passes it to the
scrawny guy, he turns and lifts the lid of the freezer, he
leans in slightly, and produces a small bag of grass and
passes that out of the window.
Next, come on, what.
                       CUST 2
Just a 99, Ive got no cash.
Thats £1.20.


George pulls the handle and passes the cone to the boy, the
boy takes the cone then he's on his toes, the boy thinks he
has got away with it.
      (Says To All of
       The Que)
If any of you want any gear,I'd
get after him & give him a slap &
get my Fkin Money.
George stands with his arms crossed watching, two thin men
run after the kid and trip him, smack, he hits the floor,
the ice cream goes flying, the kid starts crying on the
floor, they search his pockets nothing, the two men walk
back to the van
                       CUST 3
      (Sweating & out of
He aint got no Money.
You can pay it & get it off the
Little Bastard Later, Yeah.
                       CUST 3
Yeah OK, give us two Vids & a
score bag mate.
I ain't your Fkin mate, that's
                       CUST 3
Fkin Cheek.
You What, What did you say?
                       CUST 3
err nothing, here.
      (Passes Grass &
Here take em, what a fkin Job this
is, Next.
                       LITTLE KID
Got any free Ice Cream Mr.


No. now fuck off you little
Bastard, before you get a slap.
And so it goes on, it looks just like an ice cream man doing
his every day business, soon the queue has gone he slams the
window closed, and pulls the wad from his pocket and starts
to count it, he laughs to himself, lights a fag and heads
The alarm goes off at 3.30am Mike has been up for a least an
hour getting ready for work, Troy struggles to get out of
bed because it's bloody freezing at that time in the
morning, George was giving Jill one, before he goes to work.
Taff is making his way to work on his Motor Bike.
John is still pissed from the night before, he was sitting
at the bottom of his stairs, the front door is wide open, he
is in exactly the same position as he got in a few hours
Mike is picking John up then onto George's, Mike pulls up
outside John's flat, and notices John asleep on the stairs,
he gets out the car and walks up the path.
      (Shivers in the
All right Mukka, You fit then.
John wake's up slowly.
      (Sleepy/ Pissed)
Yeah Mukka, Im ready.
You got your work clothes John.
Yeah over there Mukka in that Bag.
John reaches for an old Co-op Carrier bag.


      (Awake now)
Lets go Mukka.
They both get in the car and head for Georges house, John
falls asleep snoring loudly they arrive at Georges and park
in his drive, George dashes out and jumps in the car
Let's go Boy's
The car reverses and drives out the cul-de-sac, John notices
the car with its side lights on, it pulls onto Georges
drive, Jill must be having an early start he thinks to
himself and chuckles
They turn left and pull into the cargo car park pile out of
the car and walk through the security gate, the guard is too
busy reading his paper to even see them they turn and look
for a lorry or van to take them air side but they have all
gone even the guvnors van is not there.
      (Looks for Troys
Where's Troy.
He'll be late, he always is.
We better Bang him in.
Yeah we better, he will never get
through the Tunnel.
They check all the Vehicle's, George walks over to another
Airline's Parking area.
John check that one, has it got a


We can't take that one.
Yeah it's under the sun visor.
Come on then, will it start.
John jumps in & starts the van, its runs but is rough,
belching black smoke.
It's a bit rough but it will do
us, get in you muppets.
Come on then let's go go go.
They all jump in and go speeding through the tunnel they
abandon the van in the lorry park and run to the rest room,
they all clock in, with 1 min to spare.
That was close Mukka's, whose turn
for Tea.
Yours you lazy bastard, Taff did
you hear from your Cuzz.
Grown men always argue whose turn it is to make the tea,
George dosen't make many.
I'm waiting on a call John Boy
maybe today.
Who banged Troy in.
No one answers.
Shit I'll do it, that was close.
George makes the tea, at last the others sit and chat John
rolls a fag one handed, apparently he used to ride a


pushbike to work years ago & mastered the art of one handed
rolling. The door to the supervisor's office swings open,
the guvnors enters the room he was ex army now in his
Stand by your bed's.
He got a couple of Laughs, most had heard it all before.
Fred Looks straight at John.
      (Guvnor Angry)
Ive had a complaint,from United
American, one of their Van's was
stolen this morning, & surprise
surprise it's turned up in Our
Lorry Park.
Yes Guv, we saw two cleaner's
getting out of it as we came in
this morning.
John was a very convincing Liar, he'd had enough practice.
So it wasnt any of you lot then.
Everybody shook their head's.
& another thing, if I catch the
Bastard's that keep nicking my
van, they will be sorry,
No one looks at the guvnors now, he sighs and turns to leave
John rolls up a piece of paper in a tight ball and launches
it at the Guvnors head, [thwack] it find its target, John
swivels on his chair and looks at the new boy.
You shouldn't throw Paper at the
Guvnor, he dosent like it.
Did you throw that son.


No sir, I didn't.
In my office now, What's your name
Simmond's Sir, Paul Simmond's.
I wont have this.
The door closes behind the Guvnor & Simmonds, the shouting
continues for a few Min's, then Simmonds re appears very red
faced, and the room is deathly quiet.
      (Looks Sorry)
Sorry Mukka, I didn't think he
would go off on one.
Simmonds just sits quietly on his own looking dejected, and
as if he is going to cry, he doesn't.
New boys are always ignored for the first few weeks,
everybody checks them out to be sure there not old bill,
there was a case of a NB being thrown from a jetty 30ft to
the concrete stand below for asking the wrong sort of
questions, it had been set up for him to work on a specific
They didn't take to outsiders especially new ones but the
supervisor in charge tipped them he was the filth, his days
were numbered he didn't find out anything and got a
fractured skull and his spleen removed, for his trouble.
Troy arrives twenty Min's late, but See's his card has been
Clocked in.
      (All together)
Yeah Yeah, Thanks Mukka's, any Tea
Just enough for one more.
I couldn't get through the tunnel,
no one would pick me up, a United
American bloke stopped & said we


                       TROY (cont'd)
had nicked one of their vans &
then drove off the bastard, so I
had to walk in 15 bloody minutes.
Some people are so inconsiderate.
                       LOADER 1
You swallowed a Dictionary for
Who you talking to.
                       LOADER 1
Don't you Boo me,I'm not scared of
Everybody is more awake now, John disappears upstairs for
his liquid breakfast.
Every thing goes on in here, all thing's get stashed. there
are a few levels of crime up here, John's stash of booze
hidden in the Ceiling & in Lockers which no one has been
issued, he lift's a locker gets a key & opens another which
is full of Nicked stuff booze Fag's Camera's Cloth's Shoes,
down the other end of the room, the heavy Boy's have their
lockers arranged in to a small room with a secret opening,
not many people go there, That's were the Drug's are dealt
money lent & the card games go on, John downs half a bottle
of Vodka Neat almost in one.
John knows how to get in & where the key is kept, but the
heavies don't like anyone going in there, John should know
better than to use it, but John being John doesn't give a


Were in for a fun shift, he's on
Taff gets the call he's been waiting for, on his Mobile.
John Boy were on.
That's good news Mukka, when for.
Now Mukka we have to leave now, my
Cuzz will be there in two Hour's.
Fuck me, we were meant to get a
days notice, not two fkin hour's.
Id better sort Ray out, Ray were
on for the Pickup,s now, we have
to Scram Mukka, can you sort it.
John you don't give me much Fkin
choice, do ya Ill have a word &
see if it's poss.
Taff ring your Army Boy get him on
the way.
I'll do it now, no worries John.
A glass screen slides back from the control room.
OK ladies there all in the Zone,
come & get them.
Ray walks up to the Window.
My boy's got a bit of business to
do today, can you sort it.
How long do you need Ray.


I'm not sure, their off to Bristol
Docks, for the Pickups.
Oh is it today, fuck, tell John if
i don't get one his life wont be
worth living, ill cover the crew,
your all on Training.
OK good, ill go to the training
room & do every ones Fkin
course's, thing's I do for my
John your on, but dont be all day.
Thanks Ray, I'll cut you in when
we get Back.
John disappears upstairs & returns with Pickup Brochure's in
John turns to Loader 1.
Here we go then babes, you've seen
these all before, Nows the time,
you want one or what, Piss or get
off the Pot.
                       LOADER 1
What's the crack them Mukka, you
can get me one these or what?
In the bag Mukka, to you a Grand
delivered to the Cargo Car park,
with V5 Taxed Key's the Lot, what
colour you want then Babe's.
                       LOADER 1
Don't Fkin care what colour, just
want to know your not going to
piss off with my dosh.


Would I mukka, No no this is on
the Level all i need is 500 quid
up front & it's yours, on my Boy's
                       LOADER 1
OK I'll pop upstairs to the Bank &
get your cash, if your Fkin with
me I'll take it out on your head,
Fair Enough.
Ok Mukka, No worries Babe's.
John walks around & gets two more order's, there were No
V5's or Tax disc's, but that didn't matter he knew he could
get the Pickup Truck's.
Taff your Cuzz better be there, or
were Fucked, ive got the Cash.
He will be there, dont worry
To Explain
The Airport has direct Link's to Bristol Dock's, Bristol
twice a week has one of the Biggest ship's in the world
delivering new Jap car's & Truck's for dealers all over the
You can stand on the Bridge over the Bristol Channel & see
thousand's of Vehicles just waiting to be delivered.
There is a Channel separating the Vehicles from the M5

Spin back to a week earlier the boys are hanging around on
the embankment of the M5 looking for a way to get the
Motor's out.
Mukka check with your Cuzz & for
fuck sake make sure he knows what
to do.
Done it were all good, Reg knows
the score John.


Reg is better know as Reginald the only White Welsh Rasta
short young Blond with hair Extension's, & he only talks in
Rasta, Blood Clot.
John & George Troy Taff are standing around in a Territorial
Army carpark, looking at a Bailey Bridge.
      (Turns to Army Boy)
Are you sure this Fukka Float's.
                       ARMY BOY
Yeah it work's a treat, we used it
last week down the Road when the
Bridge Fucked Up.
How fast does it go, cos we need
it 70 Mile's away.
                       ARMY BOY
Probably do 60 ish if you push it.
Will it be missed, I don't want
the Fkin Army after us.
                       ARMY BOY
Nah don't worry. Ive booked it
into the Garage for repairs, No
one will miss it.
Taff stay with George & work out
how to work the Fucker, we don't
want to be caught with our Pants
Army Boy over here, Listen we need
it near the M5 Bridge at
Avonmouth, will it make it.
                       ARMY BOY
No probs it will go anywhere, four
wheel drive, 200 hp Rolls Royce


I don't want to buy the Fucker
just borrow it OK, any chance you
can get it there for us, we will
call you when we need it.
                       ARMY BOY
Yes i could but would need more
No probs Babe's everything is
possible, just get it there on
time & i'll double your money.
The boy's jump in a Airline Van & head off down the M4/M5,
Taff gets a call from Army Boy the Bailey Bridge is not far
away, John drops George & Taff not far from the Avonmouth
Bridge to meet Army Boy.
Now there parked up on the Hard Shoulder beside the Large
Car park full of trucks, they smoke & chat till Reg arrives,
A beat up Recovery Truck pulls in behind them & Puts its
Light's Flashing, Reg get's out & walks to the Van.
Wasup my Brother.
Who the Fuck are you?
Me name Reginald Pussy Rah Clah,
were me Cuzz.
Are you fucking sure, a white
Rasta that's a sheep shagger, your
taking the piss.
Me name Reginald got it fool, I'm
from Jamaica inn it.
No one told me it was fancy dress.


Where me Fkin Cuzz, I don't wanna
be with you White Fools.
John & Troy both look at him & burst out Laughing.
I'm going to Piss myself if he
don't fuck off, tell him John will
My little Rasta Mukka, anyone told
you your white, & a sheep shagger
to boot.
Don't diss me Mother Fucker or
i'll put a cap in ur ass.
Easy Tiger, go cut that Fence will
ya, Big enough for ten sheep to
fit through Sideways.
Why Ten sheep Mukka.
He's Welsh he only knows Sheep
True Mukka he ain't got it in him
to cut that fence.
As John said that Reg walks back to the Recovery & takes out
the biggest disc Grinder they have ever seen, he starts it
third pull & cuts the fence easily.
They both Laugh & change into Boiler suits, get out of the
Van & walk with Reg down the Embankment.
They look left & Right & there in the distance in a Big
green thing steaming towards them, the theme to, the Dam
Busters is Playing, George & Taff pull alongside.
Fuck me you made it.


No worries Mukka, told you we
wouldn't fuck it up.
Cuzz these Honkies been Dissin me?
Reg you moron your white & Fkin
welsh, you weren't born in Jamaica
you're my Sister's Boy From
Glamorgan, Sorry Mukka's he took
too much Acid & he thinks he's
That explains it, he got us a bit
worried, Ok ready let's do this.
They all look at George & wait for the bridge to drop down.
Well what you waiting for Mukka,
Put the Bridge think out so we can
get over there.
Taff it was that switch wasnt it.
No Mukka No were Fkin sinking, not
that one,
For fucks sake Boy's sort it out.
John call this Fkin Bailey bloke &
tell him his piece of shit Bridge
Boat Truck thing Doesn't fkin
No not that one this one, you
Stupid Fucker.
As he pushes it the bridge starts to Unfold
They all start Clapping, The bridge is down they all walk
OK Mukka's go grab one & lets get
the fuck out of here, all the
trucks Have the Keys under the sun


                       JOHN (cont'd)
They all walk to the Closest Pickups.
What Colour's John.
Any Fkin Colour's, just get them &
let's get the Fuck out of here.
Reg walks over to a Red one.
Me don't drive Gear's man, Me only
drive auto init, Pussy rah Clah.
You can only drive an Auto, you
usless Sheep shagging Rasta Prick.
I told you Honkie Fool me no drive
with gears man.
Fkin Sheep Shaggers good for fuck
As he says that Taff comes steaming down a row of new Trucks
Flat out over the Bailey Bridge & half way up the
Embankment, 4 wheels spinning black smoke pouring from the
Fuck Fuck Fuck, John it won't go
Mukka,it wont make it, it wont.
Shouts easy Tiger easy Just stop
there & put the fucking handbrake
on, Yeah you hear me put the Brake
Just turn it off & leave it there
you Muppet.


As he says this A Fiesta van starts Screaming down on them
with it's Yellow Light's Flashing, & Screeches to a halt
near the bridge.
All right boyo's having a spot of
bother are we.
Shit what we going to do.
George Slides down so not to be seen & starts looking for a
way out, John just stands there, Reg comes running with a
gun out & does the silly sideways holding thing,
I'll cap your ass you Pussy Rah
Are you for real, Honkie your
white Boyo.
Shut it Honkie or I'll drop you
for sure.
Reg put that Fkin Gun down, who
the fuck gave you that thing.
Ti's mine, all us Raster's carry
Well put it away you Moron before
you hurt yourself.
OK man you don't have to Shout it
at me.
      (Turns to Security)
Are we Ok then mukka.
Yes Bo yo were good, if you have
my Cash on ya.


Yes Mukka were good then, you got
the Plate's.
Yes Boyo Ive got them, we better
count some cash then.
The others look in disbelief as john hands over wads of
      (Looks at the
       Pickup Stuck)
You did a good job of that one, it
look,s convincing.
As agreed, does look good don't
Yes Boyo,just the Job, here's the
John looks at each plate, there all the same numbers.
      (Looks Shocked)
OK Boyo, eeeer these are all the
same Number's.
Ah there alright man, I get my mam
to make em & she only had these
numbers left.
How the fuck can we drive all
these down the road, with the same
numbers on them.
Its OK Ive sold loads of these all
with the same numbers, to be
honest since she got the Kit of
EBay it was set up with these
number & she couldn't work out how
to change them.
A camera shot of a Council Estate In Wales with a New Double
Cabs With the same numbers, Parked outside shitty houses.


OK Mukka's get these Plate's on &
let's get going.
What about the Bridge thing.
Fkin leave it, we ain't driving it
back Fuck em.
So with the security's help they all drive out the gate,
they have 4 & ask Reg to pick up the Van & follow them to
Cargo Car park.
That's us then, a good Day's Blag,
we better fuck off, cash up with
on shift.
They all get into their Car's & leave the Cargo area.
The boy's are all there waiting for John to walk through the
door, He arrive's a bit late & still pissed.
All right Mukka's a good result,
I'll get the cash & settle up with
all of ya.
He walks over to the boy's that had parted with their cash
as a deposit.
Well then did you see them when
you came in, the good news there
here, the Bad is no V5's or Tax
disks, but fuck it, where you
going to get a new Double Cab
pickup for Two Grand.
                       LOADER 1
Two Grand you Cheeky Fucker,
yesterday you said a Grand.


Come on Babe's expenses, it came
to more than I thought, but look
at what your getting.
                       LOADER 1
No fkin chance Mukka, another 500
& were square.
John walks away smiling.
OK Mukka I'll sell it to Someone
else, No probs, any one want to
buy a new Double Cab pickup for
two Grand.
      (All Together)
They all start shouting, over
here, I'll have it, come on john
                       LOADER 1
OK OK I'll get you the cash, wait
a min i'll pop upstair's.
He returns & hands over the cash, John gives him the keys.
Sorted nice one, cracked it boy's,
everyone upstairs let's have a
drink to celebrate, & I'll weigh
you all out.
Make it quick Boy's we've got a
Job on L22.
      (Walks up the
Fuck him he can wait.
John Lift's a locker gets his Secret key, lowers it & walks
to the far end, there is a locker with a long Bolt sticking
out & a large Padlock on it, he Unlocks it & calls the
others over, he opens the Locker door & pulls, three
Locker's joined together open like a door revealing a Secret
room, it's an old store Cupboard, it only gets used for


serious Business, it's a small room dirty & dusty an old
wooden table sit's alone no chair's
Come on in, that's it, Troy pull
them shut will ya.
John reaches for a Bottle off the shelf.
To us boy's we did it, here have a
Got any Coke John.
Don't be a pussy, just drink it we
ain't got all day, Ray will be
Ok Mukka it's a bit early for me.
      (In Disgust)
Drink or be Gone.
They all swig from the Bottle, John brings out the dosh &
lay's it on the table.
Right then here stash it somewhere
safe, equal amount's as promised,
& Troy don't go & blow it all on
Fkin Card's, you've only got your
Cock to keep & you never have any
Yeah Yeah OK Dad whatever,how much
700 Quid each not bad eh.
They were all trying to work out how much they should have,
but let it go in the end, 700 wasn't so bad.
Ray shout's up the stair's.


Let's be having ya, we've got work
to do.
For Fucks sake here pass me the
John Downs the last of the Whiskey in one & pushes the
Locker door open.
OK Babe's I'm ready, let's go
They all follow him out of the door, He turns & locks the
Padlock, they all file downstair's, Silent.
Come on were late, it will be on
blocks now.
Sorry Mukka, ok were ready.
Were going to have a fun shift,
he's tanked right up.
Yeah I can see, You new Boy your
with us, what's your name.
Paul Sir.
I'm not a Sir, Im Ray, Got it.
Yea Ah Ray.
You know what a Tug & Four is?
Yes Sir, I mean Ray.


Well go & find them & meet us on
Yes Ray.
New Boy was a bit nervous of everyone now & he didn't know
where L22 was, but he was sure he could find it, it was New
Boy's first week at the Airport and he was still trying to
find his way around.
John can you handle a Rocket.
Yeah sure Boss, what we got.
We've got an In & Out On L22, do
you think you can find it.
L22 my favorite sure, I can find
it with my eyes closed.
John lights a roll up & walks out the door there is no
smoking on the ramp, but John was a master at hiding his
fags Ray turns to the rest of the crew.
Mike & Troy on the Front, George
go with John & do the Back,
where's Taff?
He's gone for a Dump, he always
does when he get's some Dosh.
Tell him on your way out to get a
a Van, will ya.
Sure Boss.
      (Asks John)
John go tell Taff to get a van
he's in the Shitter.
With Pleasure Mukka.


Never let John know your on the Shitter, he has a little
trick, he will quietly come in the Toilet, reel off load's
of Toilet Paper set light to it & chuck it into your
Cubical, followed by half a bucket of water, in case he has
set you alight, Never i mean Never wear Hair Gel as it's
Flammable, I had to crop my hair after he set light to it
some weeks back.
Taff is Shitting when over the Top comes a Fire Ball,
closely followed by half a bucket of water, only one
problem, Taff wasn't so daft he used the other Toilet's, to
this day we have no idea who coped Johns trick, but we still
laugh about it, poor Bastard who ever it was.
As they approach the stand the aircraft is on blocks Ray
opens the doors front & back and start to unload
It's mostly Cargo, not many Bag's
John climbs the step's of the lifter
What we go then Mukka
Look"s like Perishables
John disappears inside the Hold
Looks like Grape's &
Strawberrie's, I'll get us some
John emerges with a tray on each shoulder
Can't you hide them Prick, someone
will see ya
Fuck em their mine now
John gets Mike to lower him on the lifter and walks to the
rocket, placed on the bulk door,He places the two boxe's of
Fruit on the side of the Rocket,he then climbs up into the
bulk & starts to throw mailbags out, Taff has now arrived
and reverses his van to the back of the rocket


Slow down Mukka
Come on Taff keep up
John always worked best pissed, there was no breakfast on
board,it was getting light, he finishes throwing the mail
Bag's out, Taff drives off in the Van, George & John emerge
from the Hold
      (Shout's to ray)
Can we have an Early break Boss,
Im starving
'We'll see let's get back
Where's the New Boy
I sent him with a Tug & Four, he
hasn't come back yet
Probably got lost, the Prick
They all arrive outside the Restroom
OK boy's your on your break,
that's 40 Min's John no more,
where you going
To the Canteen Mukka
Wait for the NB then & show him
where it is
Do we have to
As John Say's this the NB pulls up in a Tug
Where you Fkin Been


I had some Bag's I couldn't get
rid of
Well come on were on a break your
coming with us
Mike, John, Taff, Troy & NB all climb the steep steps to the
walkway they all turn left & head for the terminal, they get
on the moving walkway, chatting laughing & joking the NB
walks ahead, the rest of the crew look around there is a
group of Virgin cabin crew walking towards them, mostly good
looking girls at that moment John shouts loudly
The Virgin girls go quiet and stare at the NB the NB turns
to see the rest of the crew lying on the floor of the
walkway, they cannot be seen but its too late for NB he just
goes red in the face and puts his head down in shame as the
cabin crew pass him, staring at him one of them remarks
                       VIRGIN 1
Not so Cocky now, Are You
A few seconds later the crew stand all laughing and turn
left to the canteen they all queue up with trays, you only
pay for what is on your tray so George has only two eggs on
his plate as usual but if you checked his pockets you would
find sausage bacon & toast the others paid for their
breakfast, and sat quietly eating

Nothing dramatic happened on the return journey to the rest
room the NB walked in the middle of the group just to make
Back in the rest room Ray is waiting
You're late, we're on Lima 22
again and its on blocks,Troy &
Mike in the front John & George in
the back, Taff get a van, NB Tug &


They all listen quietly and walk out onto the ramp all the
equipment they need is right outside the door.
They arrive on the stand Ray opens the doors front & back,
Mike & George drive the rockets into position, the bags
start to flow more from the front as usual, there are large
gaps between the bags in the back, that gives them more time
to dip.
Look Mukka, a Cannon camera, it's
a good UN and it's a transfer bag
I'm havin it.
Haven't you got enough Camera's by
now? ?
This ones Pukka, my Boy can use it
for College.
John squeezes the button and takes a couple of pic's of
George throwing out bags, George didn't notice John then
puts the strap over his head and does up his coat, he is
pleased with his find and starts to throw some bags out,
when he comes across a large leather transfer bag it is
expensive looking, John cant resist it.
Look Mukka?
Leave it Mukka we aint got time.
Fuck it, I need a Tie to go with
that Armani Suite i got last week.
There's No time John, where's it
It's a transfer from Jamaica Via


Go on then, but be fkin quick will
John snaps the padlock open with his Swiss army knife, he
unzips the bag, and just stares into it in dissbelief.
It's Full.
Full of what Mukka?
      (So Happy)
Cash, It's full of Fkin Cash.
George scrambles over piles of bags, all he can see is
bundles of £50 notes.
Fucking Hell, we'veé cracked it,
it's the Jackpot John.
John grabs a hand full of Bundle's.
Quick Mukka fill your Jacket up.
They both take their belts off their trousers & tie them
around their jackets so they can hold more bundles, they
fill their jackets up.
That's enough John.
Just a few more Mukka.
That's it John, lock it up.
Now John has no room for the Cannon Camera?
Shit I can't find the Padlock,
Shit, there it is, what shall i do
with the Camera, it wont fit in
this one.


Here put in this Suite Carrier
it's open.
When they get a result the Minute's go like Seconds, they
have no time to think.
John puts the camera in the suit carrier but does not notice
its transfer tag, they chuck the rest of the bags out and
compose themselves they walk down the rocket a few pounds
heavier than when the walked up it.

They look in horror as the black leather bag and suit
carrier are sitting on the side of the rocket.
      (Looking at the
Ray what's with those Two.
Their specials being picked up by
English Airways for private
transfer, rich bastard got his own
As he finished speaking a small van pulls up with EA on the
side, the driver jumps out.
Got two bag's for me.
Yes Mate over there, where they
off to.
Over to Jetsons Corp Hanger.
The driver puts the bags in the back of the van and drives
off, John panics the camera.
George the Camera, I put it in the
Suite Carrier, they were together.
You Fkin Idiot, couldn't you have
found another Bag.
John thought to himself, you don't know the half of it, I
took your fkin Picture with it.


Let's get the fuck out of here.
John & George walk towards the terminal quickly looking like
they need to join weight watchers, Troy & Mike walk to the
Where are those two dodgy bastards
off to?
Probable got a bottle to share,
lets go then boys, take back what
you can.
They all drive something back to the rest room, where George
& John are climbing the steps to the locker room.
What have we done Mukka.
It's OK here tip that locker back
will ya.
There, can you reach the Key.
Just about, got it, quick.
They both Waddle like a pair of Duck's, down the Locker room
straight to the secret room, undo the padlock & rush inside.
Lock the Fkin door.
Weve done it Mukka, the Big One.
That's me gone forever, off to
Florida with my boy, out of this
Shit hole.
They both undo their belts, bundles of cash drop to the
dusty floor.


There's thousands here, were rich.
We are mukka, were fkin rich.
They both start laughing loudly.
I need a drink.
Not yet, pick it up let's count
John puts them in Two's, 2,4,6,8,10,12,14,16,18,20.
Open one Mukka & count it.
No need Mukka it's written on the
Back, 10K Ten Thousand Pound's.
That's 20x 10 that's 200 Grand.
200 Grand Fuck Me, we've cracked
Go & get the others.
What about Ray.
Don't be Fukin stupid, just Troy
Taff & Mike don't let any one else
hear you ok.
George runs through the locker room down the stairs and into
the rest room, he walks over to their table
Your tea's getting cold.


You three come upstairs, quietly
They say nothing and all stand & walk behind George, they
exit the rest room, climb the stairs to the locker room in
What's up.
Just wait.
George knocks on the Locker Door.
Who's there.
Me you fkin idiot, who where you
The door opens they all go inside & lock the door behind
What you got then?
John lift's an old pair of overalls off the Table.
Take a look at that then.
Fuck me, how much much John?
      (So Proud)
200 Grand boy's, not bad eh.
I don't want nothing to do with
it, count me out.
Mike opens the door & leaves.


Shit close the fkin door, you in
Taff or what?
Im In, Im In.
What about you troy?
Oh Yeah Baby im in.
Good that's five packs each 50
grand a piece, take em & hide em &
act Fukin normal, just say we've
had a drink if any one asks OK,
now go and stash yours, we'll talk
this through down stairs.
They each go to their spare lockers, all of them had spares
not in their names, & hid their stashes in old boots under
piles of papers, in old overalls.
You all done?
He takes a swig from a bottle of Black Label for about 30
seconds, the others light fags and take deep intakes.
Right let's go, & be Fkin cool
will ya.
They all walk down the stairs smiling and thinking what they
are going to spend the money on, they are all back in the
restroom they sit at their tables, no one seems to notice
them, they sit quietly thinking.
Someone shouts out.
                       LOADER 1
Whose Died?
They all stare directly at him and start laughing like they
have never laughed before, Ray walk's over
Weve got an outbound.
No one really listens.


They all finish their cup.s of Tea, & saunter out the door
On the other side of the airport a black Lexus is waiting in
the Jetsons hanger, a small van pulls up along side the
driver gets out and taps on the blacked out window, the
window rolls down.
                       VILLAN 1
Did they take the Bait.
Yess Boss, they took 200 Grand.
                       VILLAN 1
Is that all, I would have laid
money on them taking the Lot, did
you get picture's of them all.
Yes Boss.
                       VILLAN 1
Did they see you?
No, I dont think so.
                       VILLAN 1
I don't pay you to think, Did they
see you.
No Boss, they didn't see me.
                       VILLAN 1
Good, now go to the cargo car park
and point them out, when they walk
through the gate, now go, they
will be leaving soon & don't miss
Ok Boss, im on my way.
EA walks to his Van.


                       VILLAN 1
Haven't you forgotten something,
The Bag's, get my Bag,s you idiot.
EA walks to the back door of his van & gets out the two
leather bags.
                       VILLAN 1
Put them in the Boot.
EA places the two bag's in the Boot & slams it shut
                       VILLAN 1
Leave it on the Hindges.
The black Lexus screeches away smoke pouring from its back
tyres, V1 makes a call on his mobile.
                       VILLAN 1
Are you set, good they will be
coming your way EA will point them
out when they come through the
gate, and don't go to sleep while
you are waiting I'll be there in
The Lexus arrives at the cargo area and drives into an old
warehouse, inside is a large portacabin/office old and
dirty, he parks behind and enters the office sits behind a
large old desk and waits for his mobile to ring.
OK listen to me, we had better
leave separately, get your cash
I'm going with George Taff you had
better go with Troy, he'll drop
you home leave your bike here.
Ok Mukka.
If anything comes on top I'll call
you, OK, but if you get caught,
you don't know anything, OK, give
us 20 Min's, and then leave, see
you back here in a couple of


They all agree, John & George find a van and drive through
the tunnel, they park up look around nervously.
It look's ok John, Let's go.
They walk towards the security gate all is well, they didn't
notice the small EA van parked near the barrier, EA spots
them and makes a call on his mobile.
That's two of them, got em they
are going through the gate now.
John & George walk through the barrier with a great big
smiles on their faces.
We've done it Mukka were clear &
We've done it Mukka, we are set
for life, Florida here I come.
As he says that, a people carrier pulls up beside them it
has blacked out windows the side door slides open and a
large man gets out with a handgun pointing at them.
In you get boys, no fuss, get the
fuck in, now.
There happiness turned to fear in two seconds they do as
they are told, the van door slams shut and the people
Carrier turns around and heads back into the cargo area.
                       VILLAN 2
It's only a short ride, someone
important wants to talk to you.
What's this about, what do you
want with us.
                       VILLAN 2
Don't play fucking games you know
what we want.


The people carrier pulls into the empty warehouse, the
portacabin is in the middle with its lights on,they park
near the door.
                       VILLAN 2
In There, it's time to pay.
Pay for what.
                       VILLAN 2
Shut the fuck up, no more talking.
They walk up the steps & into the office, a tall man is
sitting behind his desk with his back to them.
                       VILLAN 1
So you're the ones that stole my
What Money.
We Ain't got your Money.
                       VILLAN 1
Have you Quite finished.
Villan 1 Swivels around on his Chair.
                       VILLAN 1
Don't play games with me, I know
you took it, just sit there and
listen to me, I want it all back
and I mean all of it, no excuses,
no games, and no fuss.
George & John look at each other.
We only took 200 Grand, Honest.
                       VILLAN 1
Honest, you don't look very Honest
to me, where is my Money.
I have my share here.


He undoes his shirt & takes out 5 packs and lays them on the
Table in front of V1.
                       VILLAN 1
That's a start, what about you?
I ain't got mine here, I left it
in my locker.
                       VILLAN 1
Is that Right, Search him.
John was lying as usual, he had his share tucked down the
sides of his Boot's.
                       VILLAN 2
Put your arm's up.

He punched John straight in the stomach, & stripped the
jacket & shirt of his back.
                       VILLAN 2
Nothing Here Boss.
                       VILLAN 1
You are all in serious trouble.
Another people carrier pulls into the warehouse.
                       VILLAN 1
There are your friends, lets have
a chat with them.
Troy & Taff are frog marched into the office.
                       VILLAN 1
Lets save time, you know why
you're here, empty your pockets.
What do you want?
                       VILLAN 1
Just do it, No question's.
They both oblige and put five packs each on the table.


                       VILLAN 1
That's very good, But I'm still
150 Grand short, so we have a
But we only took 200 Grand.
                       VILLAN 1
So you said, but I'm still short,
150k and if I don't get it in the
next 30 minutes, you are all dead.
I can go & get my Share.
                       VILLAN 1
No need, just give me your locker
key, I have a man outside who can
go get it for you, do you think I
would let you go to call the
filth, I don't think so.
John thinks how could he call the Filth, he's just nicked
200 Grand.
Ok Ok, ive got mine here.
John takes his boots off and lays the other five packs on
the table.
                       VILLAN 1
And you said you were honest, so
still 100k short we are just
waiting for your other two mates,
they should have the rest.
They had nothing to do with it.
                       VILLAN 1
We will see, won't we.
The people carrier pulls into the warehouse, Ray is marched
through the door.
What the Fuck is going on here.
                       VILLAN 1
You have something for me.


What are you talking about?
                       VILLAN 1
My Money, Search him.
                       VILLAN 2
Put your arm's up, stand still,
nothing boss.
                       VILLAN 1
Take his boot's off.
                       VILLAN 2
Nothing here Boss.
V1 knows he won't find any more money, he has his cash back
but the boys don't know It.
                       VILLAN 1
Right, all of you sit quietly, no
talking, and listen to me very
carefully, I want you all to do
something for me, & once its done
we will be quits OK, no questions
But What ......
                       VILLAN 1
In a couple of hour's a flight is
coming in and you will unload it,
in the bulk will be two courier
sacks with London baggage tags,
what I want you to do is, put the
courier sacks into these two mail
bags, and drive them to the
security gate, leave them in the
back of a small van, & I will get
them collected, do you understand
The five of them just nodded.
                       VILLAN 1
Good, a Brinks Matt truck will be
there to collect them, so you will
have to move fast, find two Mail
Bag's, & put them in these two
Courier Sacks, understand, then
give them to Brinks Matt.
By the time anyone knows any
different, we will be gone & you
will be off the hook OK, oh bye


                       VILLAN 1 (cont'd)
the way, just in case you should
tell anyone, I will have men
outside your houses, need I say
more now I have to go for a while,
V2 will take good care of you, and
should you try anything, he will
Do one of you.
V1 gets up and leaves, a sigh of relief fills the air.
What we gonna do Mukka's.
                       VILLAN 2
If you say another word, I'll
shoot you through your fucking
mouths, understand.
About 30 Min's later Villan 1 returns.
                       VILLAN 1
Its nearly time don't forget
switch the bags, and this will all
end good for you all, I will have
people watching you all the way,
now put the bags under your
jackets and this will all be over
in a couple of hour's, V2 will
drop you back at the gate now go &
get in the Van.
They all pile into the people carrier, and sit quietly
contemplating the task ahead, the van arrives at the gate.
                       VILLAN 2
Here is a phone just in case, now
fuck off, & do it right or else.
They all get out & walk through the security gate.
What the fuck have you got me
mixed up in.
We thought we'd got a good result,
didn't expect it to turn out like


What about Mike.
He must have got away, he left
The Phone John was given, ring's.
                       VILLAN 1
Just in case you got cold feet &
didn't go through with it, I've
got your mate here for safe
Is that you John, what's going on,
they rang me & told me there had
been an accident, I went to the
hospital and they put me in a van
and drove me to a warehouse I've
been here for hour's, they have
told me they will kill me if you
don't do as you are told.
Its OK Mike, stay calm, we'll be
there soon to get you don't worry.
Don't worry, you fucking prick,
how can I not worry.
                       VILLAN 1
That's enough, do as your told,
when you drop the bags off, your
mate can go free if anything
should go wrong you know what I'll
do to him.
The Line goes dead.
What did he say John?
He's got Mike, Let's just go & do
They all walk towards a Mini Bus.


No Key.
Just get in Iv'e got one.
They set off & drive through the Tunnel, now parked up
outside the Restroom.
John rolls a fag, they all walk in, there are not many
blokes in there its in-between shifts they all sit quietly
Ray walks up to the supervisor's window.
Where's the JFK.
In the Zone Ray, be here in 15,
why do you want it.
Yes please Reg, we can do it &
OK Ray No probs, get your Boy's
Ray walks slowly back to their table.
I need a drink John, you got
Sure Mukka anyone else want one.
They all want one, they walk upstairs and John stands on a
chair and moves one of the ceiling panels, puts his hand in
and gets a couple Black Label bottles.
One for you lot & one for me.
He sits on the Chair & gulps down nearly half a bottle.


Got any Coke to go with this John.
No Mukka Sorry.
Troy swigs it neat and starts coughing Troy passes the
bottle to George who refuses, both Ray & Taff take a swig.
We've got to do this right, who's
going in the bulk.
John looks at George.
It's our fault, we'll do it.
Good, lets go do it then, & for
fucks sake do it right.
They all walk out onto the ramp, Troy & Taff get lifters
John gets a rocket George gets a truck they arrive on stand,
the aircraft has just arrived engines still screaming both
lifters on Rocket on the back the lorry backs up to the
rocket, they are all set, John & George Climb on the rocket
and enter the bulk.
Shit, its full of bags, better
chuck some out first.
Lifter's Are un-loading tin's, the Brink's Matt lorry
arrives & the driver get's out & walk's over to Ray.
You the crew Chief.
Yes mate, What you after.
A couple of Courier Sack's, in the
Bulk, How long do you Rekon.


About Ten Min's, it's chokka in
John looks out & starts to panic.
It's ok John, we can do it.
The bags a streaming from the bulk.
Their not here?
They must be.
There not fucking here, there's
only two mail bags.
Are you sure?
Can you Fucking see them.
Throw some more bags out John.
There not here, what we going to
      (Shout's to ray)
Ray come up here will ya.
What's wrong?
There not here Ray, what we going
to do.
Look again.
He's right Ray, their not here.


Shit I'll go & check the Tin's
Ray walks down the Rocket, BM 1 walks over.
You got em yet mate.
No mate their not in the Bulk,
I'll go & check the Tin's.
Ray walks to the front hold & Shout's to Troy.
Troy got any Courier Sacks in
Shit No.
Taff you loaded any into tin"s.
No Ray.
Ray walks back to the rear & speaks to BM 1.
We ain"t got em Mate.
OK mate, I have to call it in,
keep looking though they should be
on here, Control Over.
Receiving over.
We do not, I repeat We do Not have
the Collection from Flight,
Please Hold will confirm, Over.
Roger that Over.
Have Confirmed, Go Cat 1 Over.


Cat 1 Confirmed, Over.
What's going on.
We've gone Cat 1, Alarm.
What's that?
Armed Police & Army, total closure
of the Airport, No one in or Out.
You're shutting the airport.
That's confirmed.
What's missing?
12 million in each bag, Used
Ray shouts up to John & George.
You had better rap the bulk up we
have a problem,
John throws the last few bags out.
What we going to do John?
Lets put these two mail bags in
the courier sacks and give V1
them, by the time they find out we
should get Mike back.
Ok Mukka let's do it.
They both carry a mail bag down the Rocket & walk over to


here mate these are the last to
bags up there.
Their ok mate, you can take them.
They throw them in the back of the van and go before the
filth get there, they head through the tunnel to cargo.
Where are those two going, the
police will want a chat with all
your boys when they get here
Just to deliver the mailbags, they
will be back in a min
John & George stop the van in a dark siding
Let's sort these sack's out now.
OK John, got any Bar locks on you,
that should slow em down a bit.
John always had a few Bar Padlocks on him, it was normal
break the ones off, empty the Bar of all its booze, replace
with his own locks, Sorted.
Always got a couple of bar
padlocks in my jacket, I'll put
them on.
Job done, lets go mukka.


Back on stand the police are talking to the rest of the
John drives out of the tunnel, there is a tank parked across
the security barrier no one getting in or out, they park the
van and get into a truck as they drive away they see a small
EA Van stop, & take the bags out he then drives away down
the ramp the phone rings.
                       VILLAN 1
Very good, but what are the tanks
doing there.
They do exercises every now &
then, nothing to worry about.
                       VILLAN 1
Good I'm glad to hear it, once the
bags reach me I will let your Mate
What did he say?
He said he will let Mike go as
soon as he gets the bags.
Shit, I hope time is on our side
Mike has been left alone for some time, & he starts looking
about for a way out, he has been sweating & tries to slip
the Cable Ties off binding his hand's, he pulls & pulls,
little by little he slides his hand's until there free, he
stands up & stretches he is a big lad.

He scans the warehouse & sees some steps leading to a gantry
that runs up to the roof, he heads straight ahead he hears
someone enter the deserted warehouse they speak into a
phone, then they leave he walks up some more steps, he sees
a fire escape, he goes through a door and he is air side
across from the security gate, he walks slowly down the fire


escape, He cant believe it was that easy, he flags down a
cargo lorry.
Give me a lift to the Centre mate.
                       LORRY D 1
Yeah sure mate , Your a bit late
aint ya.
Yes mate just had a couple of
Hour's Kip in a truck.
                       LORRY D 1
Its going crazy in the centre,
there was something missing off
one of your flights, there not
letting anyone in, or out.
Realy, thanks for the lift mate.
Lorry D 1 drives off, Mike walks to the Restroom.
Mike walks into the rest room the guvnors there with some
Philips, you had better get to K19
they're looking for you, you
should be there with the rest of
your crew.
Sure thing Boss.
Mike walks over to K19 he sees all of them standing around,
there are police men everywhere George looks over and See's
Shit, look over there, its Mike,
they must of let him go.


Mike walks over to them, a policeman gets to him first.
What's your name.
Mike Phillips.
You on this crew.
Did you unload this flight?
No, i was late I missed it.
OK you can go & wait with your
Don't say nothing here, were being
They all Nod in agreement.
Over in the cargo area the police and army are searching,
they enter the empty warehouse a policeman & 4-armed
soldiers notice movement in the portacabin.
      (Into his radio)
that was the van that was spotted
picking up the bags,Suspects sited
in the old FT warehouse, backup
They fall back outside the warehouse door, a few seconds
later two vans pull up full of police & soldiers.
      (Talks to Captain)
Their in there Sir.


Good work, that's the van we've
been looking for, right on my
mark, we all go in.
Inside the office they were all busy trying to open the
padlocks, and don't see anyone coming in the warehouse.
                       VILLAN 1
I can't believe you two morons
cant get a padlock off a sack, 20
minutes you been at it and you
still cant do it.
The policemen shouldn't have worried, the only Villan with a
gun had gone for a piss & seen the police vans and ran like
the wind, he was arrested trying to steal a car near the
cargo entrance.
The policemen surround the portacabin, two armed policemen
walked straight in no one noticed them.
Stay where you are, on your knees,
hands on your head, & shut the
fuck up.
      (Talks into Radio)
Suspects secured, stand down.
V1 now realises that he is going down for 24 million, so was
not too surprised that special branch arrives and starts
asking questions.
So where is it.
                       VILLAN 1
Where's what.
Do I have to spell it out for you,
the other two bags full of cash?
                       VILLAN 1
What bags, I don't know what
you're talking about.


Can you get the bolt croppers &
lets see what we've got you bang
to rights for.
Here Sir.
SB1 tries to snap them but cant, he hands the bolt croppers
to the soldier who snaps them straight off.
That's better, lets see what we've
got here then, ah royal mail, and
you were caught trying to steal
the Queens mail, that's ten years,
straight off.
                       VILLAN 1
For fucks sake, I've never seen
them before.
Good try, we've got you for this
and probably the 24 mill as well,
your looking at a very long
                       VILLAN 1
No, you have it all wrong, we
found these bags outside, and
someone must have dropped them
I don't think so, these army guys
saw your mate, pick the bags up
and drive back here, how did you
think we found you so quick, your
nicked, take them to Heathrow
police station.
The soldiers led them to a waiting van, and drove off.
Back on the ramp PC 1 walks over to the boys.
OK lads, you can go, we have three
suspects in custody.


Did you find the bags you were
looking for?
No not yet, but its only a matter
of time.
The boys walked quietly to the Restroom room.