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The Emperor's New Clothes
by Michael-Colin Reed (colinreed11@yahoo.com)

Rated: G   Genre: Family   User Review:
NOT YET
RATED

An adaptation of Han's Christian Andersn's fairy tale, The Emperor's New Clothes.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



THE EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES

INT. AN EMPTY STAGE - DAY
                                                            
BACKDROP PRE-SET - SHOW LOGO
                                                            
AT RISE: The stage is pre set with several actor boxes on
either side. Dimitri and Katrina are busy unpacking props
and costumes out of the various boxes and placing them at
their proper locations on stage. A backdrop shows the
family's crest proudly displayed. (The backdrop changes to
provide the different locations in the play and the actor
boxes are moved during the performance to provide furniture
and serve as props.)
                                                            
Dimitri and Katrina help seat the children as they arrive
then return to their task of setting the stage. The action
finishes with a lively dance. Peter meanwhile has found a
place to hide in the audience and is napping.
                                                            
SOUND CUE - RUSSIAN DANCE

BACKDROP CUE - RUSSIAN FOLK DANCERS PAINTING
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
      (Suddenly noticing
       the crowd)
Katrina my love, look! Our
audience has arrived!
                                                            
                       KATRINA
      (Surveying the
       audience)
And what a wonderful audience they
are Dimitri! I think they are our
best one yet! Are you excited to
be here children?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Of course they're excited to be
here dear wife. They've heard
that the famous Moscowvitch's are
playing here today. They have
traveled from lands near and far
to...
                                                            
                       KATRINA
      (interrupting him)
They came from Berwyn honey.
                                                            

2.

                       DIMITRI
      (not understanding)
Ber Wyn? (Asking a child in the
audience) Wherein lies this
glorious land of Ber Wyn?
                                                            
                       KATRINA
Never mind honey just get things
started my love.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Ah... YES! (suddenly the showman)
Ladies and gentlemen! You are
indeed priviledged to witness yet
another theatrical extravaganza
the likes of which has never been
witnessed before presented to you
this day by the world reknown,
internationally beloved and
critically acclaimed Ivanova
family!
                                                            
SOUND CUE - FULL FANFARE

BACKDROP CUE - FAMILY CREST
                                                            
                       KATRINA
What have I told you about not
overdoing it?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Um... Allow me now to present to
you an actress whose great talents
are matched only by her stunning
beauty. She is admired and
worhipped by all who have been
fortunate enough to witness her
amazing talents, my wife, the
incomparable Katrina Moscovitch!
(Katrina moves forward and strikes
a dramatic theatrical pose.) She
is known throughout the greater
metropolitan Petrograd area and
several of its surrounding suburbs
for her truly electrifying
interpretation of Juliet in
Shakespeare's tragedy, "Romeo and
Juliet"!
                                                            
SOUND CUE - OVERACTING MUSIC
                                                            

3.

                       KATRINA
      (Pulling out a
       scarf and using
       it dramatically.)
Romeo, oh, Romeo! Oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, Romeo... Where? Where?
Wherefore... art... thou? (She
bows her head dramatically
completely overwhelmed with
emotion. Dimitri applauds her
performance enthusiastically
encouraging the audience to join
him.)
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
And you have all no doubt heard of
me yes? Some have called me the
master of drama, the maestro of
the stage, the king of the
theater, the lord of the bard, the
Rasputin of Russian thespian-dom,
the man of 8 or 9 faces... Despite
these lofty but terribly accurate
acclaims, I stand before you as
your humble servant, a simple
ragged player upon the great stage
of life. I am... Dimitri
Moscowvitch! (He bows
theatrically. Katrina just looks
at him.)
                                                            
SOUND CUE - SHORT FANFARE
                                                            
                       DIMITRI (cont'd)
      (Bowing)
Thank you, thank you... a million
times thank you.... Oh please,
you're too kind... (etc...)
                                                            
                       KATRINA
      (Still looking at
       him.)
You know if you milk it just a
little bit more we could open a
dairy.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
      (Annoyed.)
I notice you don't have any issues
when the compliments are swingin
in your direction my dear.
                                                            

4.

                       KATRINA
Why you... Wait a minute where's
Peter?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Who?
                                                            
                       KATRINA
Our SON.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Oh him. Who knows? Where is he
always? Probably napping
somewhere that boy.
                                                            
                       KATRINA
Oh that boy!
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
That is one lazy boy. Has anyone
here seen our son Peter? He's
about yay tall and has red hair.
Peter! Peter!
                                                            
                       KATRINA
      (looking around
       for him)
Peter! Oh Peter!
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
      (Finding him)
There you are! What are you doing
Peter? It's time to start the
show!
                                                            
                       PETER
      (Waking up)
You just had to wake me up didn't
you? I was having my favorite
dream...
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
The one about you and Maria
Sharpova?
                                                            
                       PETER
You know about that one?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
      (confidentially)
I have the same dream.
                                                            

5.

                       KATRINA
Why there you are Peter! Well I
tried to warn you. You know your
father won't stand for any more of
you laziness.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Why nonsense Katrina. Why should
I be angry just because my dear,
sweet son was tired and decided to
take a little itty bitty nap?
                                                            
                       PETER
See mother? You worry too much.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Well you must have been just
exausted weren't you my boy?
                                                            
                       PETER
      (Yawning.)
Oh was I ever. We had to carry
all these things in. I mean
there's the trunk...
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
I carried in the trunk.
                                                            
                       PETER
Oh. And the banners...
                                                            
                       KATRINA
I carried in the banners.
                                                            
                       PETER
The lights?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
      (raising his hand)
Over here.
                                                            
                       PETER
Um... the costumes?
                                                            
Katrina raises her hand.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
What did you carry in Peter?
                                                            

6.

                       PETER
Um... These! (he pulls out his
juggling handkerchiefs and juggles
them. Dimitri boils watching
him.)
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
PETER!!!
                                                            
                       PETER
      (Dropping his
       handkerchiefs)
Yes father?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
We are about to do a performance
for this audience. Do you think
you might be able to stay awake
long enough to help us out here?
                                                            
                       PETER
      (Thinks.)
Um... I dunno. How long you
think it's gonna take?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
      (Losing it.)
Why you... (Dimitri lunges at
Peter. Katrina tries her best to
hold him back.)
                                                            
                       KATRINA
Ladies and gentlemen! The world
famous traveling thespians, the
Moscovitch family will now present
for your entertainment pleasure
another theatrical extravaganza!
The classic drama of "The
Emperor's New Clothes." (Dimitri
and Peter continue to struggle.)
                                                            
BACKDROP CUE - SHOW LOGO
                                                            
                       PETER
      (Ending the
       struggle.)
The Emperor's New Clothes? Why
this is totally freeky mother! I
was just now having a dream that I
was this super wealty emperor and
of course I was totally good
looking and I had all these
subjects adoring me and they would
all bow before me saying stuff
            (MORE)

7.

                       PETER (cont'd)
like, "Oh highest and most worthy
emperor sir...
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
      (Putting his hat
       on him)
You'll be playing the peasant
tailor Peter.
                                                            
                       PETER
      (dissapointed)
The peasant tailor? That's it?
Can't I get a better part?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Well you know what they say in
this industry. To really get
ahead you gotta know somebody.
                                                            
                       PETER
Well... You're my father!
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
      (Shushing him)
Shhhhh! Please don't let that get
around.
                                                            
                       KATRINA
      (Confidentially.)
Peter honey, being related doesn't
exactly get you much around here
honey.
                                                            
                       PETER
      (Dissapointed.)
Yeah I can see that.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
And featuring Katrina Ivanova as
the Grand Empress!
                                                            
                       KATRINA
      (Bowing humbly.)
Of course. Yes. Thank you. You're
most kind...
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
And I Dimitri Moscowvitch will
create here before your very eyes
one of the most complex and
demanding roles in all of
literature. A role requiring the
efforts, talents and skills of an
            (MORE)

8.

                       DIMITRI (cont'd)
actor of only the highest caliber
of skill, training and
sensitivity... Where was I? Oh
yes! Ladies and gentlemen I will
create for you the role of The
Emperor of the great land of
Kostroma!"
                                                            
Katrina tries to pump up the audience for him. Alex bows to
receive what he assumes is going to be a great ovation.
                                                            
                       PETER
      (Still not over
       it.)
The poor tailor?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
You want to walk all the way back
to Moscow?
                                                            
Peter shakes his head.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Then put on the hat.
                                                            
Peter quickly puts on the hat.
                                                            
SOUND CUE - ONCE UPON A TIME MUSIC
                                                            
                       KATRINA
      (Starting the
       performance)
Once upon a time...
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
A very long time ago...
                                                            
                       KATRINA
In a land far, far away...
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
There lived a young boy named
Peter.
                                                            
                       PETER
      (To the audience)
Oh I guess that's me.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Now Peter was REALLY lazy. He
cared about nothing except
day-dreaming, napping, sleeping,
cat-napping, snoozing, lazing
            (MORE)

9.

                       DIMITRI (cont'd)
about...
                                                            
                       PETER
O.k. we GET it.
                                                            
                       KATRINA
Peter would much rather play games
and perform tricks rather than do
his chores.
                                                            
                       PETER
Hey everyone! I bet you've never
seen this trick before! Watch!
                                                            
Peter juggles scarves.
                                                            
                       PETER
Pretty cool huh? Look, I'll do it
with one hand...
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
      (Katrina enters as
       Nana)
Peter? Peter!
                                                            
BACKDROP CUE - GRANDMOTHER'S COTTAGE

SOUND CUE - GRANDMOTHER'S THEME
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Now Peter lived with his
grandmother way out in the
country. His nana did not approve
of Peter's lazy nature.
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Peter! You lazy boy! What are
you up to this time?
                                                            
                       PETER
Oh nothing at all Nana! I wasn't
doing anything.
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Well that's no big surprise there.
Now Peter, what do you suppose
we're going to be having for our
supper tonight my boy?
                                                            
                       PETER
Peanut butter pie?
                                                            

10.

                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Nope.
                                                            
                       PETER
Custard tarts?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
      (Shaking her head.)
Hmm Hmm
                                                            
                       PETER
Chicken Kiev! Oooh I love
those...
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Wrong again.
                                                            
                       PETER
OOOH! I know! We're having big,
thick juicy burgers with catsup
and mustard and relish and mayo
and tomato slices and big lucious
green lettuce and...
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
      (Losing her
       patience.)
We're not having burgers Peter!
We're not having chicken kiev or
pot pies or any other kind of
pies!
                                                            
                       PETER
We're not?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
NO!
                                                            
                       PETER
How come?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Becuase there's no food in the
house you foolish boy! You spend
all your time goofing off and
playing games instead of working.
The garden has died, the chickens
have all left and I just don't
know what's going to become of us
Peter.
                                                            
                       PETER
Is it that bad?
                                                            

11.

                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Yeah, it is!
                                                            
                       PETER
Oh. (pauses) Don't you worry
grandmother. I got us into this
mess and I'm going to get us out
of it. I'll... I'll...
                                                            
SOUND CUE - "IDEA DING"
                                                            
                       PETER
I got it! I'll go into town and
get a job! I'll get a job, make
tons of cash and I'll buy us a
dozen chickens...
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Peter...
                                                            
                       PETER
Forget that, I'll buy us FIVE
dozen chickens! I'll get you a
new house...
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Peter...
                                                            
                       PETER
I buy us a new carriage and a team
of horses with 14, no scratch
that, 24 karat gold plated
saddles...
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
PETER!!!
                                                            
                       PETER
Huh?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
There isn't going to be any job
Peter! No job, no chickens no new
house no 24 karat plated ANYTHING.
                                                            
                       PETER
Why not?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Because you don't know how to do
anything Peter! You don't have
any skills! You can't just go out
and get rich just like that.
                                                            

12.

                       PETER
You don't think I can do it. Well
you'll see. You just WAIT and
see. I'm gonna make us a ton 'o
cash or my name isn't...
                                                            
Pause
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
We're going to starve. (She
exits.)
                                                            
SOUND CUE - TRAVELING MUSIC
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Peter set out on his journey to
the biggest town on the map.
                                                            
                       KATRINA
The wonderful city of Kostrama...
                                                            
BACKDROP CUE - MAP
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Which was the largest, busiest,
most prosperous city in the whole
empire.
                                                            
                       KATRINA
It was a long, difficult and very
dangerous journey.
                                                            
Peter travels around the theater and into the audience as he
crosses over mountains, streams, etc...
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Peter climbed the great Ilyitch
mountain range...
                                                            
BACKDROP CUE - DOTTED LINE 1
                                                            
                       KATRINA
He crossed wide streams and
dangerously swift deep rivers.
                                                            
BACKDROP CUE - DOTTED LINE 2
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
He broke through towering
cascading waterfalls...
                                                            
BACKDROP CUE - DOTTED LINE 3
                                                            

13.

                       KATRINA
He fought his way through dense,
dark, creepy forests...
                                                            
BACKDROP CUE - DOTTED LINE 4
                                                            
                       PETER
Ok, I'm getting really tired here.
Are we there yet?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Peter traveled over the
treacherous landscape for days and
days and days and DAYS...
                                                            
                       PETER
Ok we GET it already! Boy I need
a nap... (He picks an audience
member to rest his head on.)
                                                            
                       KATRINA
Until finally...
                                                            
SOUND CUE - PETER IN THE CITY MUSIC
                                                            
BACKDROP CUE - CITY SKYLINE
                                                            
                       PETER
Wake me up when I finally get
there willya?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
He reached the bustling metropolis
of Kostrama!
                                                            
SOUND CUE - MARKETPLACE CROWD
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/BAKER
Getcha fruit right here. Lucious
ripe fruit and only the best
prices. Forget those other cheap
imitators this is the real thing
kids! Oranges, mangos, papayas,
star fruit, kiwi's, kumquats!
Getcha fruit right here! Oranges,
mangos, papayas, star fruit,
kiwi's, kumquats!
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/BLACKSMITH
I gotcha fresh hot baked goods
here! Right outta the oven kids!
Fresh and hot! Blueberry muffins,
napoleons and croiiiisants!
Blueberry muffins, napoleons and
            (MORE)

14.

                       DIMITRI/BLACKSMITH (cont'd)
croiiiisants! Right outta the oven
kids! Fresh and hot!
                                                            
The chants are repeated as necessary as they make their way
into the audience selling their wares to the audience.
Finally, the Fruit Vendor bumps into Peter onstage.
                                                            
BACKDROP CUE - FRUIT VENDOR CART
                                                            
                       PETER
Oh excuse me m'aam! I'm so sorry!
It's just that it's so crowded
here!
                                                            
                       KATRINA/FRUIT VENDOR
No worries mister, I'm used to it.
I gotcha fruit right here!
Oranges, mangos, papayas, star
fruit, kiwi's, kumquats! Would you
like some fresh fruit sir?
                                                            
                       PETER
Are you kidding me? I just
completed a long, LONG dangerous
trek across the Russian
countryside! I'm starving!
                                                            
                       KATRINA/FRUIT VENDOR
      (Handing him the
       basket.)
Here you go sir.
                                                            
                       PETER
      (About to bite
       into an orange.)
Oh boy does this look good!
                                                            
                       KATRINA/FRUIT VENDOR
      (Taking the basket
       back.)
Excuse ME little Mr. MAN. You
think oranges just grow on trees?
                                                            
                       PETER
      (Confused)
They don't grow on trees?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/FRUIT VENDOR
      (Putting her hand
       out.)
Oranges cost money kid!
                                                            

15.

                       PETER
Oh but I don't have any money.
Yet. That's why I came to the
city. I'm going to be rich and
famous!
                                                            
                       KATRINA/FRUIT VENDOR
Yeah? Call me when you and Donald
Trump play golf. Till then, no
money... (she takes the orange
back) no fruit. Oranges, mangos,
papayas, star fruit, kiwi's,
kumquats! Getcha fruit right here!
Oranges, mangos, papayas, star
fruit, kiwi's, kumquats! (She
exits.)
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/BAKER
I gotcha fresh hot baked goods
here! Blueberry muffins,
napoleons and croiiiisants!
                                                            
                       PETER
Oh boy do those ever look good!
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/BAKER
They're better than good my boy!
These are the most delectable,
light and flaky pastries you'll
ever taste. Would you like one?
How about a dozen?
                                                            
                       PETER
Oh I'd love a dozen! But I don't
have any money.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/BAKER
What? You think croissants grow
on trees?
                                                            
                       PETER
I'm pretty sure they don't...
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/BAKER
You need money to buy pastries my
boy.
                                                            
                       PETER
Oh I know. That's why I've come
to the city. I'm going to get a
job and make lots of money and get
filthy rich!
                                                            

16.

                       DIMITRI/BAKER
      (Laughs)
Really? Well good luck with that
kid. Jobs are very hard to find
these days. Besides to get rich
around here you're going to need
more than just a job. You're
going to need to be really clever!
Hope it works out for you.
(exiting) I gotcha fresh hot baked
goods here! Right outta the oven
kids! Fresh and hot! Blueberry
muffins, napoleons and
croiiiisants!
                                                            
                       PETER
Now what kind of job could I get
that would make me rich? And it's
gotta make me rich really super
fast. Grandmother can't wait
forever you know. And it can't
make me work too hard either.
Hmmmm....
                                                            
BACKDROP CUE - BLACKSMITH SHOP

SOUND CUE - BLACKSMITH'S HAMMER/HORSE
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/BLACKSMITH
      (Entering with
       Katrina as his
       horse.)
(Horse neigh and 3 hammer taps)
Blacksmith aheya, atcher service!
(3 hammer taps) Blacksmith aheya,
atcher service!(3 hammer taps)
Blacksmith aheya! (Horse neighs.)
                                                            
                       PETER
What a beautiful horse!
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/BLACKSMITH
Aya. She shore is ain't she?
                                                            
                       PETER
Can I brush her?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/BLACKSMITH
Oh I don't reckon you oughtta
touch this horse son. She belongs
to the emperor.
                                                            

17.

                       PETER
Wow! The emperor!
                                                            
                       KATRINA/FRUIT VENDOR
Yessiree Bob. He's kept all the
blacksmiths in town so gosh durned
busy this past week. (Horse neigh
and 3 taps) A hundred beautiful
white horses been brought in
special from distant lands just
for the royal procession next
Saturday.
                                                            
                       PETER
A hundred white horses from
distant lands? This guy must be
loaded!
                                                            
                       KATRINA/FRUIT VENDOR
He shore is son. It's a shame.
                                                            
                       PETER
A shame? How come?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/FRUIT VENDOR
Well all that money just going to
waste.
                                                            
                       PETER
To waste? But she's a beautiful
horse.
                                                            
SOUND CUE - HORSE NEIGHS
                                                            
                       KATRINA/FRUIT VENDOR
Yeah but you oughtta see what that
man spends on his duds!
                                                            
                       PETER
Duds?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/FRUIT VENDOR
His clothes son! They don't call
him the "king of bling" fer
nothin. They say he got himself a
different suit of clothes for
every single hour of the day.
                                                            
                       PETER
You're kidding.
                                                            

18.

                       KATRINA/FRUIT VENDOR
No I ain't. His servants wake him
up six times a night just so they
can change him into a new set of
pee-jammys! He don't wear nothing
that ain't made of the fancyest
silks and threads of gold.
                                                            
                       PETER
      (Dreamily.)
Threads of gold...
                                                            
                       KATRINA/FRUIT VENDOR
Heck, I gotta work day and night
just to keep the simplest clothes
on my family's back.
                                                            
                       PETER
      (Forming an idea.)
Threads of gold you say huh?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/FRUIT VENDOR
Yup.
                                                            
                       PETER
I'm guessing threads of gold would
be pretty valuable.
                                                            
                       KATRINA/FRUIT VENDOR
Son, just one jacket, one glove
even is worth more than either you
or I will ever see in a lifetime.
You don't git rich being a
blacksmith that's for shore. Takes
someone a heckuva lot more clever
than me.
                                                            
                       PETER
Well in that case, you're
definitely going to be hearing
about me. My name's Peter and
I've come to Kostroma to become
rich!
                                                            
                       KATRINA/FRUIT VENDOR
      (Shaking his hand.)
Oh you have huh? Well good for
you son. You sure are a dreamer
and I admire a man with big
dreams. I wish you lotsa luck
boy! (He starts to head off.)
                                                            

19.

                       PETER
Wait! Can you tell me how to get
to the emperor's palace?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/FRUIT VENDOR
Well, as it goes I just happen to
be on my way there now to return
this beauty to the royal stables.
Yer welcome to come along with me
iff'n yer a mind to... Peter was
it?
                                                            
                       PETER
That would be me!
                                                            
SOUND CUE - TRAVEL MUSIC

SOUND CUE - HORSE WALKING AND NEIGHING
                                                            
(Blacksmith leads the horse around the stage to suggest the
journey as Peter follows. Dimitri and Katrina then lose
their costumes to become narrators again.)
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
And so the kind Blacksmith led
Peter through the streets of
Kostroma...
                                                            
BACKDROP CUE - RED ROOFS VILLAGE
                                                            
                       DIMITRI (Cont'd)
They traveled over many hills...
                                                            
BACKDROP CUE - HILLSIDE VILLAGE
                                                            
                       DIMITRI (Cont'd)
And through many valleys...
                                                            
                       PETER
Oh no. This isn't gonna be
another one of those long journeys
is it? I'm still exhausted from
the last trip... (Dimitri glares
at Peter.) All right already...
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Until finally...
                                                            
BACKDROP CUE - CASTLE PEEKING OVER THE HILLS
                                                            

20.

                       DIMITRI (Cont'd)
...they could see the castle
towers peeking over the edge of
the last hill.
                                                            
BACKDROP CUE - PALACE AT DUSK
                                                            
                       DIMITRI (Cont'd)
By the time they arrived at the
palace it was already getting dark
but Peter could see that there
were candles flickering in the
windows and torches burning at the
gates.
                                                            
BACKDROP CUE - PALACE GATES
                                                            
                       DIMITRI (Cont'd)
The emperor's palace was grander
and more glorious than anything
Peter had ever seen before. Peter
was not in the leas bit
intimidated however. He had a
plan! A very clever scheme! He
marched right up to the palace
gates and knocked.
                                                            
SOUND CUE - 2 IRON GATE KNOCKS
                                                            
                       PETER
Yoo Hoo! Anybody home? (2nd
knock)
                                                            
(Katrina has put on her costume as the Empress and moved an
actor box to the stage left side of the projection screen
and stands on top of it. The slide changes to show a
balcony.)
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
At last, a voice called to him
from a high balcony window.
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
You there! Stop that noise I say!
Go away!
                                                            
                       PETER
I'm sorry to disturb you madam. I
just...
                                                            

21.

                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Shhhh! Keep your voice down.
You'll disturb the emperor's royal
rest.
                                                            
                       PETER
Oh! He's asleep? I came to see
him.
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
      (Laughs.)
Oh that is rich. What makes you
think the emperor will see YOU?
                                                            
                       PETER
Oh he'll want to see me madam.
I'm... a tailor!
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
A tailor? You look more like a
lowly peasant to me. Besides the
emperor has an entire army of the
finest and most talented tailors
and clothmakers from all parts of
the globe. What would he want
with you?
                                                            
                       PETER
I'm not just your run of the mill
tailor madam. Oh no indeed. I can
weave cloth that is very special.
I can weave cloth that is...magic!
                                                            
SOUND CUE - HARP RUN
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Are you kidding me with this?
Magic cloth? Who ever heard of
such a thing? Magic cloth my Aunt
Fanny!
                                                            
                       PETER
Very well then madam. I'm sorry
to have bothered you. I'll just
take my business to the emperor of
our neighboring land...
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Just hold on there mister! Is
your cloth really magic?
                                                            
                       PETER
Magic!
                                                            

22.

SOUND CUE - HARP RUN
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Are you pulling my leg?
                                                            
                       PETER
Oh no ma'am.
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
The emperor is always looking for
the next latest thing... Hmmm...
Wait right there young man! (She
exits offstage)
                                                            
SOUND CUE - IRON GATE OPENING
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS (Cont'd)
(offstage) Enter!
                                                            
BACKDROP CUE - THRONE ROOM
                                                            
(Peter timidly enters the palace and looks around. The
empress enters.)
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
You there! So you are the clever
tailor then? You're not exactly
more impressive up close.
                                                            
                       PETER
Yes ma'am. My name is...
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
I am the wife of his imperial
majesty!
                                                            
                       PETER
Oh your majesty! (He drops to one
knee.)
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
You have made some pretty
impressive claims Mr. Tailor! You
say that you can make magic
clothes... well then that's
exactly what you're going to do!
                                                            
                       PETER
I promise you your majesty, you
have never seen the kind of
clothes I can make.
                                                            

23.

                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Very well then. You will wait
here until the emperor wakes up.
You can then tell him all about
your magic.
                                                            
(The empress exits.)

SOUND CUE - DOOR SLAMMING SHUT

SOUND CUE - SUSPENSE MUSIC
                                                            
                       PETER
What in the world have I gotten
myself into? I'd better get out
of here! (He tries to find a way
out.) When the Emperor finds out
that I can't really make magic
clothes he's gonna be one angry
monarch! Oh what do I do now?
                                                            
SOUND CUE - EMPEROR SLEEPWALKING MUSIC

(The emperor enters the room sleepwalking. Peter hides
behind a banner until he realizes what is happening. He
then comes out and has a little fun with the totally
oblivious man.)
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
      (Having a
       nightmare)
Nooooo! Nooooo! It isn't true!
I'm not unfit to rule! How dare
you say such a thing! Why I'll
have your head for this! You'll
never work in this town again! You
just try working without a head...
Noooo! I AM fit to rule! I'm a
good emperor! YES I AM! Just
like my father and his father
before him and his father before
him...
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
      (Entering)
Oh my dear! (She rushes to him)
Your majesty! Husband dear! Wake
up! You're having another one of
your nightmares!
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
      (Still asleep.)
No! No! It isn't true! I am a
good emperor! Noooo! (The empress
            (MORE)

24.

                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR (cont'd)
slaps him.)
                                                            
SOUND CUE - NEEDLE SCRATCH SOUND
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR (Cont'd)
Ok, I'm up. Oh it was awful! (He
clings to the empress.)
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Oh it's ok now. Everything is ok.
Was the big bad emperor having a
litte bitty nightmare?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Uh huh. It was awful. They were
all pointing at me and saying I
was not fit to rule this land.
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Well now we all know that's
totally absurd my dear. Of course
you're fit to rule. Well... just
look at you! Mirror! Mirror!
Bring the emperor his mirror!
Don't just stand there young man.
Bring the emperor his mirror! Now!
                                                            
                       PETER
Yes your majesty! Right away!
                                                            
(The emperor's throne is rotated around and the back side is
a full length mirror.)
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
See? There now. Take a look in
your mirror. See how nice you
look? Well that's the very
reflection of a great ruler if I
ever saw one!
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Oh yesssssss...
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
See? There's nothing to be afraid
of. It was just a silly dream.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Well of course you're right my
dear. Such a silly dream! Who
could ever look at me and think me
an unfit ruler?
                                                            

25.

                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Unfit? Why don't make me laugh!
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
I mean just LOOK at me! Those
strong chiseled features! That
imposing physique! The
splendiferous costuming! Why I'm
the very example of greatness! You
look up fabulous in the dictionary
and there's a picture of me right
there honey! Oh this mirror tells
me so much!
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
      (Humoring him.)
What kinds of things does it tell
you dear?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Well for instance, if I wear a
blue jacket and it happens to
match the color of my eyes that
day, then I know that is the day I
should raise the taxes. Then
again if I wear fuschia and it
highlights the blush of my cheek
then I know that is the day for me
to make major proclamations! Do
you see?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Yeah that's a really great system
all right.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
I'm tired of this old robe. I'm
ready for something new. Something
splendid! I think I would like my
new royal purple jacket now.
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Of course dear. (She goes to get
it.) Do you want the one with the
fur collar or the one with the
diamond buttons?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
I beleive I'm in the mood for
diamonds!
                                                            

26.

                       DIMITRI
      (Helping him into
       the jacket.)
Oh splendid your highness! Just
lovely!
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
      (Admiring himself
       further.)
And it's very slimming isn't it? I
just love the cut...
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
You know this one looks so good I
think you should wear it in the
royal procession!
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Oh you're so right my dear! When
you're right, your right! I look
goooooooood.
                                                            
                       PETER
      (Coming out from
       behind the
       throne))
Oh no your highness. That old rag
will never do.
                                                            
SOUND CUE - NEEDLE SCRATCH
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
      (Turning to see
       Peter who drops
       to one knee.)
Oh! What was that you say? Well
who are YOU?
                                                            
                       PETER
Your Majesty, I am Peter the
Tailor.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Who let this bum in here?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
It's all right dear, I let him in
to see you.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
But I don't need another tailor!
Especially one that looks like
that.
                                                            

27.

                       PETER
Oh, but I think I'm just the
tailor you need sir.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Oh you do, do you? And why is
that?
                                                            
                       PETER
Well I couldn't help over hearing
that this is what you were
planning to wear in the royal
processional on Saturday.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Oh I know isn't it fabulous? 500
thread count imported silk from
China. Go ahead, touch it. You
know you want to...
                                                            
                       PETER
      (Dismissive)
Eh.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
      (Panicking)
You don't like it! What's wrong
with it? Does it not fit
properly? Is it the wrong color?
Are there not enough jewels on it?
Oh tell me...
                                                            
                       PETER
Not fabulous enough your Majesty.
Too...ordinary.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
      (Looks in the
       mirror again and
       decides Peter is
       right.)
Too ordinary! (Immediately takes
it off as though it were on fire.)
Go bring me the one with the
platinum threads and emeralds!
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Emeralds yes! Good call honey...
                                                            
                       PETER
Oh no that won't do either your
Majesty.
                                                            

28.

                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
No? No! your absolutely right.
Emeralds would be too... too...
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
      (Tryin to help out)
Flashy?
                                                            
                       PETER
No. too...
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Glittery?
                                                            
                       PETER
No.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Too dazzling?
                                                            
                       PETER
No.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Too much bling?
                                                            
                       PETER
Too ordinary.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Too ordinary! Yes.. Too ordinary.
(Suddenly realizing.) TOO
ORDINARY! Are you kidding with
this?
                                                            
                       PETER
Nope.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Well then little MAN. What do you
consider extra-ordinary?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Honey, this man can make clothes
that are...
                                                            
                       PETER
      (Waves his hand.)
Magic!
                                                            
SOUND CUE - MAGIC SOUND
                                                            

29.

                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
      (Together with
       Empress)
Ooooooh. Magic! (They try the
same gesture as Peter makes but
with no luck on getting a magic
sound. Ever.)
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
      (Suddenly takig
       him under his
       wing.)
You're a magician young man? Oh I
am intrigued. You ever do that
thing where saw a woman in half?
I'd kinda like to learn that
one...
                                                            
                       PETER
Um well, maybe later. What I've
been focusing on recently is
making cloth of the most
extrordinary fabrics and unusual
patterns.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Oh? Do tell me more!
                                                            
                       PETER
The cloth I create is...
INVISIBLE.
                                                            
SOUND CUE - GONG OF EMPHASIS
                                                            
(Emperor and Empress gasp)
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Invisible? (Waits for the gong.)
                                                            
                       PETER
Completely... Invisible.
                                                            
SOUND CUE - GONG OF EMPHASIS
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
How does he DO that?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Hush! Pay attention or we might
miss something.
                                                            

30.

                       PETER
My amazing cloth has the most
extraordinary power. It cannot be
seen...to the naked eye... by...
anyone... who... (to the emperor)
is unfit for the office he holds.
                                                            
(Emperor gasps)
                                                            
                       PETER (Cont'd)
Or... (to the empress) to anyone
who is stupid.
                                                            
(Empress gasps. The emperor and empress consult each other
animately.))
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
You're hired. Go see Agnes down
in HR first thing right away. Oh
my dear! I told you my clothes
tell me things. Just THINK of
what these magical clothes will
tell me! Oh it's like Christams
all over again! Can you have them
ready for me by Saturday for the
grand procession?
                                                            
                       PETER
Absolutely your Majesty. But I'm
going to need a few things. (Peter
produces a list so huge it rolls
out into the audience.) The
Emperor and Empress almost faint
but neither one want's to be the
one to have to catch the other.)
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Fifty skeins of pure gold thread?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
One hundred bolts of the costliest
silk in the empire?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
A basketful of precious jewels?
Good heavens! How much is all
this stuff going to cost?
                                                            
                       PETER
Skeins of pure gold thread:

10 million kopecks.

Rare silk from distand lands:
            (MORE)

31.

                       PETER (cont'd)

6 million kopeks.

Basket of jewels:

15 million kopeks.

Astounding your entire empire in
the most unusual, most
extrodinary, most magical clothing
the world has ever seen?

Priceless.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Well you're a magician. Can't you
just conjure all this up?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Well your Majesty, You can't make
something out of nothing. Only
something into something else.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
You shall have everything you ask
for. Just make me those clothes!
I want 'em I want 'em I WANT
'EM!!!
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Wait a minute. (She has scanned
the list) Aren't you going to need
a loom?
                                                            
                       PETER
A loom?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Yes, to weave all the cloth with.
It's the only thing not on this
list.
                                                            
                       PETER
Looms! Yes! A lot of looms! Ton'
o looms! A veritable cornucopia
of looms. A whole roomful of em.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
An entire roomful of looms! Oh my
dear can you just imagine the
buzzing and whirring and humming
of all those looms! All the
clicks and clacks and tings and
            (MORE)

32.

                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR (cont'd)
dings... Oh I just can't wait to
hear that sound! Come along my
dear. Good night to you you clever
little tailor you. Be ready to
start your work first thing in the
morning!
                                                            
The emperor and empress exit and quickly remove their
costumes.
                                                            
                       PETER
First thing in the morning. Sure
thing Mr. emperor sir! You
betcha! I'll be up and at'em at
the crack of dawn just raring to
go you just wait and see. Can't
wait! Heck I'm ready to get
started right now. Yessiree
Bob...
                                                            
                       KATRINA
      (Narrating)
And the emperor ordered that
everything be delivered
immediately!
                                                            
                       
      ((ENTERS as
       peasant, wearing
       cap. He drags in
       a seemingly-heavy
       burlap sack with
       gold tinsel
       spilling from the
       top.)
Here are the skeins of gold thread
you ordered, sir.
                                                            
                       PETER
      ((Pulls out some
       gold tinsel and
       lets it fall
       through his
       fingers.))
Oh, it's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen!
                                                            
                       
      ((Drags in another
       burlap sack with
       shiny fabric
       spilling from the
       top.))
            (MORE)

33.

                        (cont'd)
Here are the silk fabrics you
ordered sir.
                                                            
                       PETER
      ((Holds a piece of
       cloth.))
Ok I take that back. THIS is the
most beautiful thing I've ever
seen!
                                                            
                       
O.k. (Drags in a garden bushel
basket with "jewels" piled high.)
Here are the rare precious jewels
you ordered sir.
                                                            
                       PETER
Oh no way! Now THIS is the most
beautiful thing I've ever seen!
                                                            
                       
      (Joining him.)
The most beautiful thing you've
ever seen. Yeah I get it. And
now for the looms.
                                                            
                       PETER
The looms?
                                                            
BACKDROP CUE – LOOM ROOM
                                                            
                       KATRINA
The emperor ordered enough looms
to completely fill the great hall
of the palace. (As EMPRESS.) The
emperor just can't wait to hear
those looms buzzing, Peter!
                                                            
                       PETER
      (Calling to her.)
Buzzing looms! Coming right up.
(To Dimitri/Servant as he is
exiting.) Uh... could you just
kind of...
                                                            
                       
Yeeeees?
                                                            
                       PETER
Well, could you just give me a
little hint...
                                                            

34.

                       
A hint?
                                                            
                       PETER
How do these things actually work?
                                                            
                       
(Laughs.) How do they work? Oh
that is indeed humorous. You are
no doubt as funny as you are
talented sir. (He exits.)
                                                            
                       PETER
      (Groans.)
If I don't figure out some way to
get these looms working the
emperor will never believe that
I'm actually weaving anything in
here. (He tries a knob)
                                                            
SOUND CUE – MECHANICAL BREAKDOWN 1
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
      (Walking by the
       workroom with the
       empress as he is
       eating his
       breakfast.)
I wonder when he's actually going
to start working. All I've heard
is some very bizarre noises coming
from the workshop.
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Well he doesn't have a whole lot
of time left
                                                            
(PETER tries another lever)
                                                            
SOUND CUE – MECHANICAL BREAKDOWN 2
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Ah there we go! Nothing to worry
about, my dear. He is beginning
now.
                                                            
SOUND CUE – MECHANICAL BREAKDOWN 3
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
It sounds like only one of the
looms is working though, dear.
                                                            

35.

                       PETER
Oh boy. What am I going to do?
How a can I convince the emperor
these looms are working.?
                                                            
SOUND CUE – IDEA DING
                                                            
                       PETER (Cont'd)
I GOT IT! Oh boy I told you I was
clever! Well, you're gonna love
this one! Will you boys and girls
help me make the sound of the
looms? You will? Great! Ok I
want this section of the audience
to buzz for me. Can you do that?
Great! Now this section is gonna
whirrrr. Give it a try. Good
going! Ok this half of the
audience needs to hum. Ready? Try
it. Perfect! Ok now this have
give me clicks and clacks and
tings and dings! Ready? Ok, Go!
Awesome! Now everybody together!
Go!
                                                            
(The emperor and empress are satisfied and exit as the
sounds are being made. Towards the end of the noise section
the empress returns alone.)
                                                            
                       PETER
What was that? Did you hear
something? (He instructs the
children to bring down the volume.
When the kids are settled he opens
the door for the empress.
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
(Very excited and pinching his
cheeks) Oh, you! You said you were
clever and indeed you are. Just
listen to those looms just buzzing
away!
                                                            
(Peter asks the children to bring up the volume with a
gesture. He then has them quiet down again.)
                                                            
                       PETER
      (Winking at the
       audience.)
They sure do a good job of buzzing
and humming and whirring, don't
they?
                                                            

36.

                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
The emperor is just dying to see
some of your wonderful creations!
                                                            
                       PETER
(He has nothing to show him.)
Well, uh... I've only just begun,
you know.
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Of course. I understand. An great
artiste would rather like
yourself would rather present a
finished masterpiece to the
emperor.
                                                            
                       PETER
Yes! Yes, that's it exactly.
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
But couldn't I have just a teeny
weeny little peek?
                                                            
                       PETER
Well...
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
I promise I won't keep you from
your work too long.
                                                            
                       PETER
Well ok. But you remember, of
course, that the cloth is magic.
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Of course yes! I just can't wait!
                                                            
                       PETER
And the cloth is completely
invisible to anyone who is unfit
for office.
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Or stupid. Yes I remember you
clever boy! (Pushing past him,
looks all around at the looms with
great anticipation.)
                                                            
                       PETER
Well, what do you think?
                                                            

37.

                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
(Realizing she cannot see it.)
What do I think?
                                                            
                       PETER
Yes. What do you think?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Of what exactly?
                                                            
                       PETER
Of the magic cloth, Your Majesty.
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Uh... uh... which loom exactly are
you working on?
                                                            
                       PETER
All of them!
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
ALL of them? (She is now
completely panicked at the
prospect of her worst nightmare
coming true.)
                                                            
                       PETER
Well?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Well, indeed...
                                                            
                       PETER
Which is your favorite pattern,
Your Highness?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Boy that's reeeeeeally hard to
say.
                                                            
                       PETER
Yes, I know. They are all so
beautiful aren't they?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Tell me, which is your favorite?
                                                            
                       PETER
Well, I don't know. I'm really
drawn to this combination of
platinum thread with fuchsia and
deep magenta. Amazing texture and
just the perfect weight. Lot's of
            (MORE)

38.

                       PETER (cont'd)
movement. Don't you think so?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
(No choice but to play along now.)
Absolutely. Yes. Oh, yes. I can
see it now. It will move
beautifully.
                                                            
                       PETER
I like this one over here a lot
too though. The gold tones are
just amazing don't you think?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
(Quickly) Love em! Love the gold
tones, yes! Soooo much! Just love
em. Love the gold tones… (She is
too shaken for further
conversation.) Well I should get
going. Got a lot of… empress
things to do you know.
                                                            
                       PETER
You'll tell the emperor that you
liked the cloth?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Oh! Yes… I'll tell him. (Aside)
Not sure exactly what I'll tell
him…
                                                            
                       PETER
Great! Thank you, Your Highness.
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Yes, well... yes. (She exits.)
                                                            
                       PETER
Ha! I did it! And I have you to
thank for helping me out. Thank
you guys!
                                                            
(Peter shakes hands and thanks children in the audience. In
the meantime Katrina and Dimitri have changed into their
minister outfits.)
                                                            
SOUND CUE – MINISTER MUSIC
                                                            
                       PETER
Aren't the patterns simply
charming?
                                                            

39.

                       
      (Also deadpan)
Charming. Exquisite.
                                                            
                       
      (Deadpan)
Exquisite.
                                                            
                       PETER
Isn't this one lovely to the
touch?
                                                            
                       
The texture is divine.
                                                            
                       
The reds.
                                                            
                       
The reds! The purples!
                                                            
                       
The deep, deep blues! How ever did
you do it?
                                                            
                       PETER
It's my magic!
                                                            
SOUND CUE – MAGIC DING
                                                            
                       PETER (Cont'd)
Magic!
                                                            
SOUND CUE – MAGIC DING
                                                            
                       
Ah, such magnificent, magical
clothes!
                                                            
(The ministers exit.)
                                                            
SOUND CUE – BUSTLING MARKETPLACE
                                                            
                       PETER
Ha-ha! Just WAIT till Grandmother
hears about this! (He exits)
                                                            
BACKGROUND CUE – VILLAGE BACKGROUND
                                                            
(Dimitri and Katrina have become villagers and enter
together gossiping.)
                                                            

40.

                       
Say Bob, have you heard about the
magic clothes?
                                                            
                       
Carol it's the most amazing thing
I've ever heard of in this town.
Who would have ever guessed it?
Magic clothes!
                                                            
                       
I wonder what they're gonna look
like! You suppose they'll come
out with a ready to wear line?
                                                            
                       
OOOH I just can't wait to find out
and see who is stupid!
                                                            
                       
I betcha I know who!
                                                            
                       
(Who? She whispers in his ear, and
they both laugh.) No, no, no! It
will be Ted the baker. He's always
been one hamburger short of a
happy meal! (Makes sign for crazy
and they laugh.)
                                                            
                       
No, it's gonna be Alice the candle
maker! You just wait and see!
She's not exactly a member of
MENSA you know.
                                                            
                       
No, no, the woodsmith!
                                                            
                       
No, no, no! That wacky old lady
who lives down the way! Oh did
you hear? They found her husband
in her basement…
                                                            
(They continue their gossip and excitement as they exit.)

SOUND CUE – FADE OUT BUSTLING MARKETPLACE
                                                            
(Peter enters and claps his hands.)
                                                            
SOUND CUE – SHORT FANFARE
                                                            

41.

                       PETER
I have an announcement to make!
The emperor's new clothes… are
finished! (He produces an empty
hanger from behind his back and
presents it to the audience.
                                                            
SOUND CUE – SHORT FANFARE

BACKGROUND CUE – CASTLE INTERIOR
                                                            
                       PETER (Cont'd)
It's time for His Majesty to
inspect them for his final
approval. (Peter selects three
children to come up onstage and
hold the garments. He gives one
child the "coat", one the "shirt"
and one holds the trousers.)
                                                            
(EMPEROR and EMPRESS enter. He is beside himself with
excitement. She… well, not so much.)
                                                            
                       PETER (Cont'd)
Peter: Well, Your Majesty. What do
you think?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
(Peeks through fingers with a look
of childish glee, of course
expecting to see something
wonderful. He is of course
speechless when he realizes he
can't see anything. I... I...
                                                            
                       PETER
Yer just blown away aren't ya?
Yeah I get that a lot.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
I... I...
                                                            
                       PETER
Tell me, Your Highness, what do
you think of the cut of the
trousers? These are really going
to show off your…
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
I... I...
                                                            

42.

                       PETER
I couldn't agree more. And what
about the detailing on this shirt?
I used my Platinum thread here.
The fuchsias! The Magentas! The
cut of the sleeves! Totally
fashion forward without being too
trendy don't you agree?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
I... I...
                                                            
                       PETER
And I saved the best for last.
This magnificent coat with
detachable 50 foot train. The
gold tones! The movement!
(Wickedly) Go ahead, touch it. You
know you want to…
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
      (tentatively
       reaching out to
       touch the fabric.)
It's... It's...
                                                            
                       PETER
Yes?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
(To himself.) It's like a bad
dream.
                                                            
                       PETER
I beg your pardon, Your Highness?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
(Recovers) Oh, uh... I said...
they're the most splendid clothes
I've ever seen. Your magic... your
magic is certainly without equal.
                                                            
                       PETER
(Drops to the floor and bows.)
Thank you, sir.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
I shall wear these... uh...
magical clothes in the royal
procession tomorrow.
                                                            

43.

                       PETER
I shall be honored, Your Majesty.
(Stands.) And now, sir, as soon as
I have been paid I shall take my
leave. I accept Visa, Mastercard,
Discover, Diners Club…
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
You take Diners Club? I didn't
think anyone took Diner's anymore.
Wait a minute! You can't leave!
                                                            
                       PETER
I must return to my family... my
grandmother.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Oh, no, no, no.
                                                            
                       PETER
No?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
I couldn't think of letting you
leave me now. Oh no, Peter! As
part of my thanks to you I'm
bestowing upon you the title of
royal precession managerI You
shall accompany me in my
spectacular walk through this
great city of Kostrama! I have a
very high honor to bestow upon you
my fine tailor!
                                                            
                       PETER
Really, if it's more convenient I
can just take cash.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
(Starts to EXIT up aisle speaking
over shoulder.) There are many
preparations to be made Peter. See
that you appoint two
lords-in-waiting to carry that
magical train of yours. (Stops in
CENTER aisle, turns.) Oh, and make
sure they are not stupid. I don't
want to trip in front of everyone.
                                                            
(He exits up the up the aisle and OUT of the door of the
theatre where the emperor will change his costume. Empress
exits offstage to change her costume.)
                                                            

44.

                       PETER
A high honor? I wonder what he
means by that? Probably lots of
money, don't you think? (Giddy
with the prospect.) Well, I guess
Grandmother can wait for me to
return one more day. Besides, what
have I got to worry about? Who's
going to admit they're stupid?
(EXITS.)
                                                            
SOUND CUE – TOWN CROWD

BACKGROUND CUE – VILLAGE
                                                            
                       KATRINA
Suddenly the town of Kostrama was
buzzing with anticipation! Every
butcher, ever baker, why, even
every candlestick maker busily
prepared for the biggest day any
of them had ever experienced…the
emperor's glorious procession!
(She exits)
                                                            
                       PETER
(ENTERS and addresses AUDIENCE
MEMBERS as if they were
TOWNSPEOPLE.) Attention!
Attention! Your attention, please!
As you all know, the emperor will
soon begin his grand procession
through the great city! I am sure
you all know how to honor His
Majesty when he arrives. It is
necessary for you all to throw
rose petals so the pavement will
be softer to his feet. Do you know
how to do that? (Asks a child in
the audience to show how and
guides him in simple throwing
action.) Great! You can be the
royal flower petal… thrower guy.
And of course, you know that the
most thunderous applause is
required when the emperor appears
in all his... splendor. Can we
practice that everyone? Wonderful!
Now, I need two lords-in-waiting.
(He appoints two of the children
as LORDS-IN-WAITING.) Are you
stupid? (CHILD answers, "no.") Are
you stupid? (Other CHILD answers,
"no") Then come with me my
            (MORE)

45.

                       PETER (cont'd)
friends. (He escorts him up the
aisle to join the others for the
procession.
                                                            
SOUND CUE – SHORT FANFARE
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Ladies and gentlemen! I have the
high honor of presenting to you,
the citizens of Kostroma, our
beloved emperor and his glorious
new clothes!
                                                            
SOUND CUE – BIG FANFARE

BACKDROP CUE – SOLDIERS

SOUND CUE – SOLDIERS MARCH

(The emperor enters all regal and smug wearing nothing but
his underclothes. He is preceded by his flower petal
thrower and followed by his attandants. Empress joins him
as he reaches the stage. The procession continues around
the theater with Peter bringing up the rear and encouraging
the applause. When the procession is over the entire group
is onstage. The emperor comes forward to address his
subjects.)

SOUND CUE – FADE OUT MARCH MUSIC WHEN MARCH IS OVER
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
My good people, loyal subjects of
the realm, my fans… I'm sure you
are wondering who is responsible
for the creation of this
magnificent haute couture ensemble
I am wearing for you all today.
This creation was designed for me
by none other than this
magnificent and talented young man
here, Peter the Tailor!
                                                            
                       PETER
(With false modesty.) Thank you,
Your Highness.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
And now Peter, it's time to bestow
upon you that high honor I
mentioned. Peter, if it had not
been for your special magical
abilities, I would not be here
wearing this splendiferous outfit
            (MORE)

46.

                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR (cont'd)
here today. It is, therefore, my
greatest wish to bestow upon you
the title of "High Court Weaver to
His Majesty the Emperor" and to
present you with this gift. (The
empress brings a medal on a
pillow.)
                                                            
                       PETER
Oh, sir! I am overwhelmed!
                                                            
SOUND CUE – CROWD MURMURING
                                                            
(PETER goes down on one knee before the Emperor and is about
to accept his gift. when he hears the empress and the
AUDIENCE around her making noise. She will be quietly asking
the CHILDREN if it doesn't look like the EMPEROR has nothing
on to which of course they will agree with her.)
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
What? What is that? Silence! I
will have complete silence on this
most momentous occasion. (Again he
begins to place the medal and
again more giggling is heard from
the empress and AUDIENCE around
her.) What? Do I hear laughter?
What is the meaning of this
outburst?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Do forgive us, Your Majesty.
(Cannot keep from laughing.)
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Silence, I say.
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
I'm so sorry, dear husband. It's
just that one of your subjects
here has something to say to you.
                                                            
(She can whisper in the child's ear what to say, or if it
seems the kids understand what is going on, they may not
need prompting. CATHERINE must tell the CHILD to speak up
loud and clear. The CHILD should say something like "You're
in your underwear!" or "You have nothing on!")
                                                            
SOUND CUE – LAUGHTER

SOUND CUE – DANGER MUSIC
                                                            

47.

                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
What, what was that?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
Oh forgive me my love, forgive us
all, but honey... (Points.) You
got no clothes on!
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
(Outraged.) Nothing on?! Well
that's the dumbest thing I ever
heard. Absolutely preposterous!
Of course I have something on! I
am dressed in the Peter the
Tailor's magical creation of the
finest…
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS
It's true! It's true! (To
AUDIENCE.) Do you see anything?
                                                            
(It shouldn't be hard to get the AUDIENCE to say "No!"
together. The EMPEROR looks down at himself, up at AUDIENCE
then drops his scepter and tries to cover his knees with his
crossed arms and hands. CATHERINE should encourage AUDIENCE
to chant "The emperor has no clothes on!")
                                                            
                       KATRINA/EMPRESS (Cont'd)
THE EMPEROR HAS NO CLOTHES ON!!!
                                                            
(PETER slowly moves UPSTAGE, trying to find a way to escape.
He tries to hide himself behind a banner but the Emperor
yanks the banner off to cover himself with it.)
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
You!
                                                            
                       PETER
Your Highness, I can explain! It's
really quite funny you see…
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
Why you!
                                                            
                       PETER
These people are just stupid!
Every one of em!
                                                            
                       DIMITRI/EMPEROR
You little... (Lunges for him.)
Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!
                                                            

48.

SOUND CUE – CHASE MUSIC

BACKGROUND CUE – MAP BACKGROUND. (ADVANCE 4X AS CHASE IS IN
PROGRESS.)

(A chase ensues all over the theater with the Emperor losing
his banner here and there for extra laughs. Katrina
meanwhile helps the children back to their seats and then
changes into grandmother. After the commotion dies down, she
enters.)
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
(Counting coins.) Forty five,
forty six, forty seven, forty
eight…
                                                            
                       PETER
(Entering in a panic) Grandmother!
Grandmother!
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Peter?
                                                            
                       PETER
(Runs to her.) Oh Grandmother!
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Peter! What in the world?
                                                            
                       PETER
(Very excited, out of breath,
points behind him, panting.) He
followed me over the mountains!
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
The mountains?
                                                            
                       PETER
Across rivers and streams...
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Rivers and streams?
                                                            
                       PETER
...through waterfalls!
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Peter...
                                                            
                       PETER
And the deep dark forests! (Nearly
collapses with exhaustion and
excitement.)
                                                            

49.

                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Who followed you Peter? This
sounds to me like more of your
games! And why didn't you tell me
you were going somewhere? I was
worried about you!
                                                            
                       PETER
Because I wanted to show you how
clever I can be. I wanted to get
rich.
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Yeah? How'd that work out for ya?
                                                            
                       PETER
Oh boy you would not believe! I
got rich beyond our wildest
dreams!
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
(Amused.) Beyond our wildest
dreams eh?
                                                            
                       PETER
I did it by becoming a famous
tailor to the Emperor!
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Really?
                                                            
                       PETER
Oh, yes! I made him a suit of
magic cloth...
                                                            
                       KATRINA
(Smiles.) Oh, my. Imagine that!
Magic cloth…
                                                            
                       PETER
Yes, and everyone thought it was
beautiful, and there was this
ginormous procession and the
emperor gave me a medal. (He
shows her the medal. She realizes
he was telling the truth.)
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Oh my goodness… is this it?
                                                            
                       PETER
The very one!
                                                            

50.

                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
I don't know what to say! (She
drops her bag of coins.)
                                                            
                       PETER
Hey! You made out while I was
gone too! Where'd u get the cash?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Well, Peter, you were gone a very
long time.
                                                            
                       PETER
I know, but I had to...
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
I thought you were never coming
back, Peter.
                                                            
                       PETER
Well it kind of took a while to
make the emperor's suit.
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
I had to do something for money.
                                                            
                       PETER
Yes, I understand...
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
So I sold your bed.
                                                            
                       PETER
You sold my bed?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Yes. You know the headboard was
made of solid brass and brought a
pretty penny. I had to sell all
your clothes and toys too. I'm
sorry Peter!
                                                            
                       PETER
Is there anything of mine left?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Don't think so. But after paying
the rent and buying more chickens
and re-planting the garden and
having a handyman come fix the
house I still have fifty gold
coins left over. I've counted
them every night since you've been
            (MORE)

51.

                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER (cont'd)
gone.
                                                            
                       PETER
Nothing of mine left?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Just what you're wearing now. And
that medal around your neck.
                                                            
                       PETER
You mean this Godzilla sized, 24
karat, solid gold medal that's so
heavy if I wear it any longer
it'll make me a HUNCHBACK?
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
Oh my goodness it is! IT IS!!!
Looks like we're REALLY rich now
Peter! You really did it!
                                                            
                       PETER
WE did it!
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
(Kisses his cheek.) Welcome home,
Peter (She exits and changes.)
                                                            
SOUND CUE – DANGER MUSIC
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Now it has been said by many that
even today the emperor...
                                                            
                       KATRINA
...and the empress, who also
didn't like being tricked, are
still out there, searching...
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Searching... searching...
                                                            
                       KATRINA
For that lowly little tailor.
                                                            
                       PETER
(Showing off his medal.) He's not
so lowly anymore!
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
      (Together.)
Searching... Searching...
                                                            

52.

(PETER looks around to see if he really is being hunted and
in doing so he bumps into Dimitri. He thinks it is the
emperor and yells before realizing it's his father.)
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
(Moves DOWNSTAGE and speaks to
AUDIENCE.) Ladies and gentlemen,
this concludes another theatrical
extravaganza presented by the
world-renowned thespian troupe...
                                                            
                       KATRINA/GRANDMOTHER
The Moscowvitch family!
                                                            
SOUND CUE – SHORT FANFARE

BACKDROP CUE – FAMILY CREST
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Featuring... (Taking Katrina's
hand and bringing her gracefully
DS.) ...the dramatic talents of
the lovely, the beautiful, the
great... Katrina Moscowvitch!
                                                            
(Katrina sweeps the stage before the AUDIENCE and bows
dramatically. Peter has crept up to Dimitri tapping his
shoulder.)
                                                            
                       DIMITRI (Cont'd)
Not now, Peter. (To AUDIENCE.)
And, of course, it has been my
great privilege to share my
dramatic mastery with you today...
(PETER taps his shoulder again.
Through smiling teeth.) I said not
now, Peter. (Back to AUDIENCE.) I
remain your humble servant,
nothing more than a simple vessel
of divine inspiration—
                                                            
                       PETER
(Meekly.) Papa?
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
(Pushes PETER out of the way and
bows in front of him.) I am, yours
truly, Dimitri Moscowvitch!
(Dimitri and Katrina join hands
and bow again. PETER tries to join
them by taking Dimitri's hand
which is making grand gestures in
the air. Then PETER taps him
again. Finally, very irritated.)
            (MORE)

53.

                       DIMITRI (cont'd)
What? What is it, Peter?
                                                            
                       PETER
You forgot me.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Huh? Oh yeah. And also Peter.
(Starts to go.)
                                                            
                       PETER
Moscowvitch.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Yeah, Moscowvitch.
                                                            
PETER starts to take bow as OTHERS had done, but they have
already moved away UPSTAGE and are putting away instruments,
props, etc.)
                                                            
                       PETER
(Smiling through teeth to Dimitri)
As the lowly little tailor.
(Trying to get enough attention
for a bow.)
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Yes, yes. Peter, do you think you
can help us carry something out?
                                                            
                       KATRINA
The stools, perhaps?
                                                            
(ALEX and CATHERINE EXIT behind backdrop.)
                                                            
                       PETER
The stools? Um… I think those are
a little too heavy.
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
(Calls from OFFSTAGE.) The
scenery, perhaps?
                                                            
                       PETER
Naw, too bulky
                                                            
                       KATRINA
(Calls from OFFSTAGE.) Well, for
goodness sake, Peter, you have to
carry something!
                                                            

54.

                       PETER
I know! (Takes juggling scarves
from his pocket and begins to
juggle.)
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Peter, are you carrying something?
                                                            
                       PETER
I sure am Papa!
                                                            
                       DIMITRI
Then let's GO Peter!
                                                            
                       PETER
Coming!
                                                            
(PETER starts to walk off happily juggling until Dimitri
enters and sees him. Just as he is about to take a final
bow Dimitri yanks him offstage.)
                                                            
                       PETER (Cont'd)
WHOAH!
                                                            
SOUND CUE – EXIT MUSIC
                                                            


THE END


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